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I can't tell you what your support means to me. The outpouring of kindness and compassion from this fandom is humbling and I am more grateful than you can imagine. The loss of my mom has been devastating and we are trying to find a 'new normal' but each day is hard. Your kind words have been a lifeline for me.
I'm sorry for not replying to reviews - there has been so much to handle in the last couple of weeks that replying has been all but impossible. I will try to be more responsive as I can.
My pre-readers, Pamela Lorraine and Gabby1017 are wonderful, as is my beta, SunflowerFran who works her magic so well. Sunshine1220 is my fabulous gatekeeper, checking everything one last time for you. I couldn't do this without my team ... well, I could but you wouldn't want to read it!
Sorry this one is a day late ... and a dollar short ...
Saturday morning dawned gray and damp, but that wasn't unusual in the Blue Ridge mountains in the winter. The forecast was for snow and some ice in the next few days, so I was looking forward to getting the larger furniture moved today. As I'd told Edward, I wasn't keeping much, so I knew it would only require a couple of hours this morning and then I was planning to take the ATV out to check on what was left of the orchards. The trees were well blanketed for winter, but I always felt better setting my eyes on them once a week, even if they would soon belong to someone else.
Knowing I had a busy day, Alice arrived promptly at eight with bagels and coffee in hand. She was oddly quiet as I stirred creamer into the hazelnut coffee, and she unwrapped our breakfast. It wasn't until she had swallowed her third sip that she put down her cup and began her inquisition.
"You went to dinner with Edward a few nights ago."
"Yes." I thought it best to let her ask rather than volunteer information.
"And?"
I laughed and wiped my fingers on a napkin. "And what? What did Edward leave out of the story that you want to know?"
She was shaking her head. "I haven't talked to him about it. Tyler told Jasper that the two of you came into Jessie's while he was there. He said it looked pretty intense and that you were holding hands right before you left."
I took a deep breath and sat back in the chair, organizing my thoughts so I could tell her what she wanted to know … which, of course, was everything.
"He showed up here as I was heading over to drop more stuff in storage. He said he wanted to see the place before it was sold. He made it clear he wanted to talk, so we drove over together and then to the café to have dinner. I guess it did get intense for a little while. I told him about the loan, the diseased trees, and the foreclosure. Then he drove me home. That was it."
Alice studied me for a moment, her eyes narrow and searching. "Did he offer any advice? On the farm?"
"He said he wished I'd told him. Honestly, Alice, it's too late now. I've come to terms with it."
"And that was it? You didn't talk about anything else?"
"If you're asking if we talked about that day, then no, we didn't."
"You know he'll want the truth eventually, right? Especially once he's back here for good."
I nodded, taking another bite of my bagel, which was suddenly tasteless. Dropping it back on the wrapper, I pulled out my phone to check the time.
8:45 a.m.
The movers were late. They were scheduled to arrive at 8:30, and I wouldn't have minded, but they were being paid by the hour. When another half hour passed, I called the moving company. Five minutes later, I disconnected the call, frustrated and confused.
"What's wrong?" Alice was tidying up and putting the rest of my unfinished meal in the refrigerator.
"The movers aren't coming. They said they don't have any paperwork showing a crew scheduled here today and that I would need to call back after the holidays because they're closed next week." I dropped my head back and closed my eyes, "What am I supposed to do now? I can't move this stuff by myself."
Alice pulled out her phone. "I'll text Jasper and Emmett. They can move it with the truck. It might take them most of the day, but you know they'd be happy to help."
"I know, and I appreciate their offer, but I can't ask them to do that. It's the last Saturday before Christmas, and if I know Jasper at all, he's running around greater Asheville, panicked about what to get you."
Alice laughed and nodded. "True! He left early this morning but ran back inside when he forgot his wallet. I stood by the door when he came flying back in and told him it would be hard to buy me a gift if he didn't have it. He just kissed me with that stupid grin on his face, and then he was gone."
"Let's just hope he talked Emmett out of buying that vacuum cleaner for Rose. I'd like to see them make it to their second anniversary."
"Are you sure you don't want me to call them?" Alice held her phone up as if to demonstrate their willingness to carry heavy objects out of my home. I just rolled my eyes and walked into the laundry room to grab a warm pair of socks from the dryer.
"No, I'll just call the movers and reschedule. Maybe I can get some of this stuff sold in the meantime." I sat in one of the kitchen chairs to pull on my socks. "I'm gonna make the rounds to check on things. You want to ride along?"
"No, I need to pick up a few things for Mom. She's decided she wants to make gingerbread houses tomorrow and have everyone decorate them on Monday for Christmas Adam."
Edward, Alice, and I had grown up celebrating 'Christmas Adam,' the night before 'Christmas Eve. Our parents had long held the tradition of a small gathering of friends and each year we alternated between our homes. Mom and Esme always had something fun for us to do, whether it was baking cookies, making gingerbread houses, or even building a huge pillow and blanket fort in the family room, complete with Christmas lights strung across the makeshift structure.
I felt a twinge of sadness for the loss of those innocent days and for the loss of love and loved ones. I understood now that it was just life – you grow up and experience the bad along with the good, but you always carry those sweet memories of simpler times and wide-eyed wonder to get you through the more difficult days.
Alice left with a promise to call the next morning, so I quickly pulled on my coat and gloves, tugged my hat down over my ears, and grabbed the keys to the Ranger. We kept it, along with the truck, but sold the rest of the utility vehicles and equipment. I'd agreed to leave them with the house knowing I would have no use for them.
Within minutes, I was deep into the cherry grove. There was only a small section of it that had been untouched by disease, so I stopped to check that the irrigation system was dry before moving on to the next grove. During the winter months, there wasn't much to maintain other than making sure there were no water leaks that could cause damage in freezing temperatures. Occasionally, a deer would scrape the bark from a tree with his antlers, and I would need to wrap the trunk so that the cold weather didn't cause further harm to the injured tree. I hadn't had to wrap any of them in the last few weeks, so I hoped the deer were feeding elsewhere.
The morning passed uneventfully, and as I made the last turn to head back to the house, I stopped and took a deep breath before glancing to my right, wondering if this might be my last opportunity to see it.
For as long as I could remember, I'd loved two places on our property more than the rest. One was a large natural clearing on the back of the acreage. As a little girl, I'd imagined it looked just like the place where Snow White's cottage stood. I dreamed of living there one day with my own family and a little garden where I would play with my children just a short distance from my parents in the main house on the estate. When I was very young, it was a fairy tale dream like that of many little girls. As I grew up, so did the dream, until one day, I could actually picture my life there with the man I loved and our children. We'd invite Mom to our home for dinner or we'd go to the main house and invite his parents to come share a meal.
It was an idyllic dream.
A fairy tale.
And I'd given it all up.
The second area was what my grandparents called 'the resting place.' It was a large open space between the two main apple orchards, and in the very center grew the largest oak tree I'd ever seen. Its canopy spread out over almost the entire clearing and was the perfect spot to spread a blanket and spend a quiet afternoon in its shade. Years ago, when they first purchased the land, my grandparents carved their initials into the trunk of that tree. They were scarred over after the passing of years, but still clearly legible. My parents had done the same once they were engaged.
That section of the property was very near the Cullen's land and was often where my parents and Carlisle and Esme would meet when they were young. It was no surprise then that Carlisle carved his and Esme's initials there as well. Three years ago, I stood beside Alice and our families and watched as Jasper immortalized their love, and I had invited Emmett and Rose to do the same but couldn't bring myself to go with them. Rose took a picture with her phone and texted it to me that evening.
I hadn't been back since that fateful day, and as I slowed the Ranger and came to a stop at the fork in the path, I wondered if I could go back one last time. The thought that my own initials would never be a part of that history was heartbreaking. Worse yet was the thought that whoever the new owner would be, he or she might not share our love for that place and choose to plow it all under for planting.
It was that last thought that made me take the path I hadn't traveled in three years.
As I rounded the curve, the tree came into view, and I suddenly wished I had a blanket to stretch out under it. It was cold today but with snow in the forecast, it would have been the best chance to enjoy it that way one more time.
I pulled to a stop and turned the key, not bothering to take it out of the ignition. I walked in until I was just under the edge of the limbs. The leaves were long gone for the season, but even bare, the tree was magnificent. I smiled as I remembered playing here as a child, climbing on the lowest of branches and swinging in the rope and wood swing Dad hung for me. Even now, as I began to walk toward the trunk, I was struck by the size of it. I remembered Edward, Jasper, and Emmett standing with their chests pressed against the bark and their arms outstretched, encircling the trunk and their fingers nowhere near able to touch. Edward and I would chase one another around its base, laughing as we barely caught sight of the other around the width.
I could see my grandparents' carving as I grew closer and was so focused on the curve of the 'S' that I momentarily forgot that tree was large enough to conceal a person from view …
Edward stepped around the side of the tree, his hands tucked into the pockets of his wool coat. He didn't say a word as our eyes met, and I stood motionless for a couple of seconds wondering why he hadn't startled me. But then, my mind and my heart were used to seeing him here. How many times had I imagined what it would be like to find him here where we used to be so happy?
He cleared his throat, and my attention was drawn back to him, and to the tree he was leaning against.
"When Alice told me you were going out on the property, I wondered … well, I hoped you'd come here."
"I hadn't planned to."
"I've missed this old tree. This place." He looked up at the bare branches, a small, wistful smile turning at the corners of his mouth.
I wanted to ask if he'd missed me too. Instead, I took a few steps toward him, as he did the same, pushing off the tree and moving forward until there was just a few feet between us.
"And I've missed you."
Oh.
My heart was racing, and I could feel the heat under my skin, grateful the cold air had already colored my cheeks. My mouth was dry, and I searched for words to respond to his quiet declaration, but all thought left me as he reached for my hand.
"I hoped we could continue our discussion."
"Now? Here?"
He offered a soft smile and squeezed my hand. "Yes, now, if you have the time." He paused, his eyes drifting to the area around us, "But not here. It's too cold, and there are too many … ghosts."
"I have some coffee or hot chocolate at the house."
His smile was wide, and he gestured toward the Ranger.
"That sounds perfect."