I own nothing.

Thank you to my team! Pre-readers Pamela Lorraine and Gabby1017, my fantastic beta, SunflowerFran, and Sunshine1220 for taking one last look and wrapping it up in a neat package! You ladies are AMAZING!

I won't keep you - I know you're ready for some answers!

When I agreed to meet Edward at the Resting Place, I didn't realize how late it was. I hadn't brought a lantern or flashlight with me, and I hoped the headlights on the ATV would be enough to cut through the darkness. As much as I worried about the dark, I couldn't have denied him for anything. His excitement and giddiness were almost comical as he begged me to meet him to hear his news.

He had been interviewing and hoped to get a placement with one of the local development firms and eventually work his way up to a company that operated on a national level. I was sure he'd been offered something, and I was looking forward to sharing in his happiness. After the last couple of days, I needed some good news.

When the tree came into view, I was stunned at the sight before me. On the underside of the lowest branches were hundreds of softly twinkling lights. They cast a warm glow and illuminated a blanket below, the corners of which were anchored with glass jars, all full of candles or flowers.

Edward stood in the center of it all, smiling as I walked toward him.

"What's all this?"

He gave no answer but clasped my hands in his and brought them to his chest, pulling me closer and kissing me softly. When we parted, he took a step back and looked down at our joined hands.

"York Developments has offered me a position. I'm meeting the team in Chicago next week to get up to speed on the new projects."

"Chicago? Is that where you'll be working?" My stomach flipped at the thought of him moving away, especially now.

"No, that's just where they're finishing up some construction. We'll look at the upcoming projects and choose a smaller one. You know, something I can handle on my own; prove my worth."

I squeezed his hands, grinning widely. "You're gonna be great! I'm so happy for you and so proud of you." He was accomplishing everything he set out to do. He was claiming his position in the firm he wanted and was well on his way to realizing his dreams.

"We're gonna be great, Bella. I don't want to take this step without you. In fact, I don't want to take any steps without you." As he spoke, he knelt, releasing my right hand and reaching for something on the blanket.

A small box … made of an intricately folded dollar bill.

My lips formed the shape of his name, but there was no sound, not even a whisper as he placed the box in the center of my palm. He released my left hand as well and I could feel the weight of his gaze as I pulled up the top. The sides of the little box fell open, revealing a beautiful, square-cut diamond set in a simple scrollwork band.

Edward gently picked the ring from my palm, leaving the dollar for my examination. On the one side was our ongoing marks and the previous questions and answers, but nothing new. When Edward reached out and turned the dollar over in my hand, I kept my eyes on his rather than his actions.

I knew what was written on that dollar. What he was asking …

And I knew what my answer would have to be …

I couldn't leave her.

Edward would be traveling, working in other cities, other states, and it was everything we'd ever talked and dreamed about. I wanted more than anything to be with him, but to do so would mean leaving Mom here to die alone, and I couldn't bear the thought of it.

The first of many tears fell as I looked down and read those two words.

Marry Me?

I would swear I could hear my heart shatter into pieces as I looked up into Edward's hopeful eyes. He was holding out the ring, waiting to place it on my finger. Waiting to start our life.

"I can't."

"Bella … I love you." When I closed my eyes and dropped my head, he stood and grasped my hands again. "Talk to me. Please."

It took every ounce of strength I had in me to steel myself for what I needed to say. I couldn't look at him, so I pulled my hands from his and took a step back.

"I don't want to leave the farm."

He was nodding then, willing to stay if I asked it of him. "Okay. Okay, we'll stay. There are companies I can interview with here." His hand went to his hair, tugging it away from his face as he considered changing his life plans for me.

"No. You need to go chase your dreams, Edward. I've chosen mine and I'm not ready to get married now."

There was complete stillness for a moment, as if even the air around us was afraid to move. Edward took two steps toward me and stopped.

"Why are you doing this, Bella?" The pain in his voice was devastating.

I swallowed against the bile trying to force its way up my throat and taking a deep breath, I looked up into his red-rimmed eyes. "Because this isn't what I want."

Those words were absolutely true. I didn't want this. I didn't want to push him away or send him off alone to chase the life we always planned to build together. It was killing me to let him go, but it would kill him to give up what he'd worked so hard to gain. He'd resent me, or he'd resent my mother for needing me.

Edward's eyes closed, and tears spilled out onto his cheeks. He reached into his back pocket and pulled something out, tossing it onto the blanket at my feet before turning and walking into the darkness.

It was a pen, presumably, so I could write my answer to his question … on the dollar that was still crumpled in my right hand.

The moment we stepped inside, Edward's gaze traveled the room, taking in the changes from the years he had been gone. Honestly, it wasn't so much that there were changes as things missing, packed up, and moved to storage for safekeeping until I could find a place for them in whatever became my new life.

I excused myself to the kitchen to make some coffee. I debated whether I should offer Edward something to eat, but then quickly realized that the coming discussion would be a difficult one, and I was sure neither of us would find anything appetizing. In the end, I filled two mugs with the fresh brew, adding sugar and cream to both before rejoining Edward in the living room.

He was near the fireplace, holding a frame I had dropped in the top of a box earlier that morning. I knew what he was seeing by the color of the frame – robin's egg blue – Mom's favorite. It was a candid shot of Mom and me, sitting under the tree that I had just visited. We were enjoying a warm fall day and laughing.

"That was a good day. One of the few she had that last month." I joined him on that side of the room and looked down at the photo. "She felt good that morning, and the sun was shining so we went on a picnic. Jane, the home health nurse, went with us. She told Mom it was because she wanted to see the tree, but it was really a precaution in case something happened. It was the last time she felt the sunshine on her face. Jane took the photo and brought it to me the morning of the funeral."

Edward gently placed the frame back in the box, took his coffee from my hand and crossed to the couch, sitting on one end. I followed and sat at the opposite end, turning to face him and tucking my knees to my chest. Wrapping both hands around my cup, I waited him out, wondering if he would ask something or just demand I tell him everything. After a few minutes of warming up in the silence, Edward asked his first question and I knew there was no turning back.

"When did you know she was sick?" His eyes stayed focused on his coffee and I briefly wondered if he was trying to make this easier on me.

"Right around the same time you were offered your dream job."

He nodded, bringing his cup to his lips and then lowering it just enough to voice his next question. "You said before it was already stage four renal failure when they found it?"

Yes, he was definitely trying to ease me into the conversation. Considering his kindness and patience, I decided to give him the easiest part of the story without forcing him to drag it out of me bit by bit.

"Mom knew for some time. Apparently, she had been receiving dialysis once or twice a week for a few months, but she kept putting off telling me for fear I would drop out of my last year of college and stay with her." I paused, taking a sip of my coffee and wondering, as I always did, whether I would have done as she feared. I came to the same conclusion I always had, and so did Edward.

"You would have done just that. You wouldn't have been able to leave her."

I offered him a small smile. "You're right, I would have. But she didn't give me that choice. By the time she told me, she was end-stage. Within a week, she was on dialysis daily and Jane practically lived with us. That was all our lives consisted of for about five months; medication, dialysis, nutrition management, and managing the farm."

I paused, swallowing against that ever-present lump in my throat and pain in my chest when I thought about those last weeks. Edward was patient, giving me the time I needed to gather my thoughts and put them into words. He leaned forward, placing his cup on the end table and then adjusted his position, turning to face me more fully. I cast a quick glance at him once he was settled and noted he was fully focused on me.

Waiting.

I cleared the thickness from my throat and picked up where I left off. "We spent an afternoon under the oak tree with a picnic and she seemed so peaceful that day, so happy. A week later, she informed me that she had spoken to Jane and would be discontinuing the dialysis. She said it was only prolonging the inevitable and she wanted to meet the end of her life on her own terms. The next two weeks was about pain management and fluid intake and she slept most of the time. Sepsis set in pretty quickly and then she was gone."

There were no words spoken between us for a while. We just sat together, me remembering and Edward processing this new information. After some time, he reached out, placing his hand over mine where they held my now cold coffee.

"Are you finished with this?" he whispered. I didn't answer but released the cup into his grasp. He stood and carried both of our cups into the kitchen where I could hear him rinse them and load them into the dishwasher. He didn't come back immediately, but when he did, he crossed to the other side of the room and picked up the photo once again. He brought it with him when he returned to the couch, placing it on the coffee table in front of us.

"I'm sorry you lost her, Bella. And I'm sorry I wasn't here to support you through it. I'd like to talk about that if you feel up to continuing."

I looked up and found him watching me with both compassion and wariness in his eyes.

"It's like a band-aid, right? Might as well rip it off all at once."

He didn't respond to my assessment, but launched right into the questions.

"You knew then? That day you knew how bad it was?"

That day.

Everything that my life was now was because of that day.

I nodded but remained quiet as he closed his eyes and released a heavy breath through his nose.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't mine to tell."

Edward's head shot up; incredulity written across his face. "Are you serious? You chose to completely alter your life and mine, and I think I deserve to know why."

"She asked me not to tell anyone. I promised her, Edward. She was dying and it was the only thing she asked … that I not tell anyone."

He stood and walked across the room again, this time toward the window and the late afternoon sun. I was thankful for the reprieve from his searching eyes, but also felt disconnected with him moving even a few feet away.

"Do you have any idea how hurt my parents were when they found out? They loved Renee. Mom considered her a sister. Dad saw her at the hospital; did you know? He was crushed and had to come home to tell his wife that strangers knew her best friend was dying before they did." He barked a humorless laugh and shook his head. "They actually asked if we broke up because I couldn't handle her illness. We still don't talk about her. Hell, no one in my family will talk about you when I'm around, not even Alice."

"I know."

He turned to face me then, eyes ablaze. "You know? Do you also know that I almost lost my job? Several times, in fact, because I couldn't focus on anything. I was destroyed, Bella. You destroyed me that day, and then again when I lost the woman I considered my second mother and never had the chance to say goodbye."

I struggled to find words that would convey how sorry I was he had been hurt, that any of them had been hurt. There was nothing I could say that would change a thing between us or turn back time to set things right.

And I wouldn't even if I could.

"I know you don't agree, but I had no choice, Edward. I couldn't betray her that way."

"But you could betray me? Without a second thought?"

His words brought me up short. He felt betrayed? I watched as he scrubbed his hands over his face and then dropped them to rest on his hips. He paced the length of the couch but stopped when I stood and turned to face him. I spoke the words I knew he wanted to hear, knowing they would be too little, too late.

"I'm sorry, Edward … sorrier than you could know."

He rounded, his eyes blazing and his jaw set. "What exactly are you sorry for? For the lies? For not trusting me, trusting us, enough to walk through it together?"

"I was full of grief and thought it was the only choice I could make."

His laugh was bitter and angry, and he shook his head. "That's just it, Bella. You had a choice, but in making it, you took the choice away from me!" His voice was steadily rising, and he was gesturing wildly in the air as he made his point. "You think I would have chosen to leave you or Renee if I had known? That I would have chosen to stay apart from my family for the past three years so I didn't have to deal with the painful memories? You took that from me." His shoulders dropped in defeat as he suddenly gave up with one final declaration. "I didn't choose this."

I watched as he turned and walked toward the door, picking up his coat and pulling out his keys. I was struck with the memory of him walking away from me and anger welled up within me that he could give up so easily.

"You didn't choose it, but you didn't fight for me, either. You walked away then, too." I threw the words at him, not really thinking them through.

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob, and spoke without looking back.

"I had no reason to fight, Bella. The last thing you said was that you didn't want me."

Again, thank you all for your kind words. We are holding a Celebration of Life service for Mom this weekend. Dad is hanging in there and his health is holding steady for now - we are worried about a rapid decline once the service is behind us, but we are spending a lot of time together now and the days and memories are sweet.