Ranma; Just Plain Hard
'Amazons be Tripp'n!'
"We're almost there, the bastard won't escape us further!"
"Are you sure this time, child? I really wish you would reconsider..."
"Honored elder, you know the laws of our tribe as well as I do. I *will* bring the bastard child of that throwrug back for the punishment-"
"So, that's what you consider it?"
"If I have to suffer this damnable situation, Ranma will too!"
The elderly voice that stood just behind the girl almost growled, "Do you really think such an honorless fool would take responcibility? Honestly, You should allow me to handle this, and we will be done with this..." The elder added as almost an after-thought, "Well, as much as we can be."
The young woman tensed, "What are you implying... 'honored' elder?"
The elder caught the tone of the younger, and her own eyeroll could be heard in her reply, "Oh please, let's not start this again. I'm not in the mood to listen to your..."
"Listen to *what*?" The young woman with lavender hair, violet eyes, and an excutiatingly violent temperment as of late whirled on the old lady, who slumped her shoulders in resignation. The elder could remind the young lady of her place, but she already knew that it was a lost cause.
"Xian Pu, it's just the hor-"
"JUST THE *WHAT*?" Xian Pu shouted so loud, her voice shrilled, "MAYBE IT'S NOT THIS TIME, THINK ABOUT THAT? MAYBE I LIKE BEING ANGRY RIGHT NOW? MAYBE I'M NATURALLY SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY RIGHT NOW? MAYBE I'M HAPPY AT BEING ANGRY! I'M HAPPILY ANGRY RIGHT NOW! I'M SO HAPPILY ANGRY I COULD GRAB RANMA'S NECK WITH MY LEFT HAND, AND USE MY RIGHT TO TWIST OFF THE HEAD LIKE A CORKSCREW! AND THEN STOMP DOWN RANMA'S NECK UNTO ALL OF THE SHITHEAD'S INSIDES ARE HYPERDENSE GELATIN SETTLING IN THE SOLES OF THE FUCKER'S SHOES!!! I'M SOOOOO FUCKING LUDICROUSLY SHITFACED HAPPILY ANGRY I COULD GODDAMN SCREAM UNTIL I SHIT FROM MY EARS IN RAPTURE!!!"
The elder stepped back with more than a slight amount of concern; Xian Pu was a bit too colorful for her liking. Thinking quickly, the elder redirected the younger's feral attention, "Oh! A frozen yougart parlor, are you feeling hungry?"
Xian Pu's raging countenance changed to one of pure bliss, "Ohhhhh!!! Yes, yes, yes, pretty please?!?"
"I think we should stop for a treat," the elder's eyes shifted, as she quickly wiped a bead of nervous sweat that had broken out on her temple, "After the journey we've made so far today, I think you deserve a bit of rest."
"Rest?" Xian Pu asked with a deadly calm that caused all the wildlife within a three kilometer radius to run to a relatively safer twenty kilometer radius, "Why would I need to 'rest', Hmm? Do you think I'm getting feeble? Do you think I'm in no condition to continue on, huh? Do *you* think I'm no longer the champion warrior you've trained since I was able to walk? *Well*? DO YOU THINK I'M NO LONGER WORTH YOUR GODDAMNED TIME, THAT YOU CAN LEAVE ME SOMEWHERE IN THIS MISERABLE FORSAKEN COUNTRY AND RUN BACK HOME?"
Xian Pu was sobbing by now, "I thought you loved me? What have I done to upset you so? Can you forgive me? I beg for your forgiveness, elder! Please don't leave me alone! I'm sorry! I *REALLY* am! I-"
"Ah..." the elder shifted her eyes nervously to the crowd building around them, "Xian Pu, I bet they have butterscotch there..."
"YAY!!! BUTTERSCOTCH!" Xian Pu was suddenly no longer postrating herself before her elder's feet, and bouncing from foot to foot, while swinging side to side happily.
Elder Khun Lon sighed, and grumbled under her breath, "Ranma, you will answer for this. I swear by all my ancestors honored, you will pay dearly..."
____________________
All the students slowly backed away from the general direction of the gate; all of them staring in wide eyed fear at what was coming through.
"It's... it's not possible..." muttered one frightened girl.
"What have the Hells released upon us timid mortals?" One young man whispered, suddenly brandishing Shintoist prayer beads in warding.
Akane looked around, as she walked through the gate, and rolled her eyes. She knew what was scaring the Hell out of all them, but she thought it really was an overreaction. She did have to admit one thing, though...
"Honestly, we're out in public."
Akane turned to look over her shoulder, to find Ranma embracing a blissfully smiling Nabiki from behind; following her steps intimately close, while his chin rested on the top of her head. As usual, his eyes were hidden by his dark shades, but the smug smile on his face gave away his mood.
What struck fear into the hearts of Furinkan High's attendance was the fact that Nabiki, the most ruthless, vengeful, devious, guileful, and arguably sinister person to ever grace the Furinkan district, was together with Ranma; easily the most violent, dangerous, vicious, and outright craziest G this side of American soil. They were together, they were both smiling, and they were together.
Was it mentioned that they were together?
Truly, two of the horsemen of the oncoming apocolypse have come together with the intent of catastrophic myschief. Beli' dat, foo'!
"Suddenly, I think I need to relocate... north! WAAAAYYYY up north!" One student proclaimed, before running into the school, with the intent of withdrawling from Furinkan High forever.
"I think I left the stove on and my house burned down," One girl stated, making a mad dash for the side gate. Suddenly, a new trend was started; get the hell away from the couple of Nabiki and Ranma, as far and as quick as possible.
Nabiki giggled, as she managed to build enough willpower to pull away from her fiancee's embrace, though taking his right hand into her left, "I'll see you at lunch, okay, Ranma-kun?"
"Aight," Ranma replied with warm humor, "I'll catch you later, den." Nabiki stepped back to Ranma, still holding his hand. She tilted her head up, and gave him a light kiss on the lips.
"Bye," the middle Tendou sister replied, as she pulled away. Ranma snorted, and kept ahold of her hand. Nabiki stopped, and turned to Ranma with a puzzled expression, before he pulled her back in for another light kiss. Nabiki giggled again, and waved to him with her free hand, before attempting to pull away again. Ranma grunted in negative reply, and kept ahold of Nabiki's hand. Nabiki stopped again, and giggled harder, as Ranma pulled her in again for another light kiss.
"Ranma, we're going to be late," Nabiki lightly scolded, as she had pulled back only a few inches from Ranma after their last kiss.
"Na, we got... yo?" Ranma looked around at the practically empty schoolyard, "Where the peeps?"
Akane chose to continue rubbing her forehead through the black bandanna she wore under her hairline with her eyes closed, and walk into the school, not answering the question.
____________________
Ryoga stood straight at attention with a solomn expression before the man at the large marble desk.
The rather well-groomed Japanese man in his mid-fifties, with a firm, stout build, clean haircut and wirefram glasses, looked back at Ryoga with equal graveness. "I see," he stated in a voice almost monotone in its stoicness, though it reverberated with a pitch bass, "That is a great mis-fortune. I'm afraid I won't replace your gun, if you cannot prove to be responcible for keeping it accountable. And your second failure needs to be answered for, also."
"Yes, I am aware of my dishonor, and request my amends for such dire failures that reflect badly upon you, sir." Ryoga said with a straight face, though inside, he was heavily seething.
"I'm glad you understand the seriousness of this situation," the man at the desk said with a chillingly calm countenance. He opened the second drawer of his desk on the right side, and pulled out a laquer box about the size of a shoebox, "You know what to do, I believe?"
Ryoga nodded, and stepped up to the desk. He opened the box, and removed a rice-silk drop cloth, a silk hankerchief, and an extremely sharp tanto. This would be Ryoga's first time, but he had seen it done by other members of his Yakuza sect.
Ryoga kept his face solumn, as he carefully wrapped the pinky of his left hand in the cloth at the first joint, "Damn you Ranma, this is all your fault..." He then laid his left hand flat against the dropcloth, "You miserable son of a bitch..." He then picked up the tanto, "By all that could ever be sacred to me..." Ryoga braced the knife right above his pinky, at the first joint, "I will make you pay for this..." Ryoga took a deep breath, and braced, "PAY FOR THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" Ryoga started the blade down...
::KINK!::
Ryoga blinked, having his thoughts and atonement interrupted, by a second knife that kept the blade from cutting off his pinky's tip. He looked up, to find his boss's satisfied expression, as he held a second knife in place.
"It pleases me to know you take your actions seriously, but I just wanted to ensure you're sincerity," he stated with light humor, "I've decided to give you another chance, without having to disfigure yourself. This Ranma boy, I would like you to bring him before me, so that we can properly decide on what to do with him."
Ryoga fought to keep from baulking. He wanted to shout at his superior, he wanted to refuse the command. Revenge on Ranma was his personal mission, and his only. Instead, he asked with a deceptively calm, but curious tone, "Sir?"
"You have proven yourself a valuable asset to me, and quite the up and coming Yakuza in your own right. I would like to make it a full message on what happens to anyone who challenges me, or those that serve under me." The man at the desk grew a slight smile, "Particularly those I hold in high regard."
Impotent at his situation, Ryoga could only bow, "Thank you for granting me an opportunity to redeem myself."
"And as I am aware of your... spacial ailment, I am being lenient on your deadline. Two months."
"I understand." Ryoga bowed, and left the office. After he was gone, the man at the desk allowed himself a full smile.
"Ranma Saotome, you indeed sound like an impressive young man..."
____________________
"I missed you," Nabiki whispered, as she walked home from school, hand in hand with Ranma.
"I know, I know," Ranma replied, looking around the area, and keeping himself from looking into Nabiki's wanting eyes.
"You know that I missed you, or you know because you missed me just as much?" Nabiki asked with warm cheer, though there was the barest hint of an edge in her voice.
"I-" Ranma suddenly scooped Nabiki up into his arms, cradling her, as he leapt onto the roof of a nearby house. Nabiki hadn't missed the sound of something crashing through concrete less than a split second from their leap.
"WHAT?" Nabiki shouted, before she heard Ranma swear, and leap again to another roof, "WHAT'S GOING ON?!?"
Ranma was in the midst of another leap, "FUCK!" Nabiki felt the world revert inside out, as Ranma twisted upside down, and around from a two foot projectile that bolted past them.
"The bastard is a fast one!" said projectile growled, as it rebounded off a nearby roof, and headed back at Ranma and Nabiki.
Ranma leaned back, pulling Nabiki as tight as possible into himself, as he twisted away from the end of some sort of staff aimed at his face. His momentum had been totally thrown out, forcing him and Nabiki into freefall, with Nabiki clutching to him from top while Ranma fell backwards.
In a tight flip, Ranma landed on his feet, while letting his ankles and knees absorb the fall as not to jolt Nabiki. Ranma quickly put a severely shaken Nabiki to her feet, and gently but urgently pushed her away, just as a familiar figure walked around the corner, glaring intentful murder.
"Sha-Shampoo?" Ranma studdered in shock. Nabiki didn't miss it.
"Shampoo? Who is that girl, Ranma?"
"RUN!" Ranma shouted, jumping away from Nabiki, just as a their attacker from the air landed right where he had been with a crippling impact. Ranma bounded off the side of a nearby building, and twisted to meet his attacker in the air. After a few seconds, Ranma and what appeared to be an old troll battled furiously in the air. After the trade off ended, they fell past each other. Ranma landed in a roll, clutching his ribs and testing the shoulder of his other arm. The old woman landed on the end of her staff, before she turned to glare at the pigtailed young man.
"At least you have skill," she growled, bracing to attack again, "Too bad, in the end."
"Great Grandmother, STOP!" The exotic looking young lady shouted, causing the old woman to pause, "We no kill the miserable yak fucker."
"Yak fucker?" Nabiki repeated, before turning to look at Ranma with a frantically questioning expression. Ranma shrugged his good shoulder in response, before turning back to his stare off against the old woman.
"What's going on? Why are you attacking Ranma?" Nabiki demanded of the younger woman.
"Because," the other young woman pointed her bonbori mace at Ranma; a few bits of powdered concrete fell from its rounded end, "HE SHAMPOO BABY DADDY!"
'Amazons be Tripp'n!'
"We're almost there, the bastard won't escape us further!"
"Are you sure this time, child? I really wish you would reconsider..."
"Honored elder, you know the laws of our tribe as well as I do. I *will* bring the bastard child of that throwrug back for the punishment-"
"So, that's what you consider it?"
"If I have to suffer this damnable situation, Ranma will too!"
The elderly voice that stood just behind the girl almost growled, "Do you really think such an honorless fool would take responcibility? Honestly, You should allow me to handle this, and we will be done with this..." The elder added as almost an after-thought, "Well, as much as we can be."
The young woman tensed, "What are you implying... 'honored' elder?"
The elder caught the tone of the younger, and her own eyeroll could be heard in her reply, "Oh please, let's not start this again. I'm not in the mood to listen to your..."
"Listen to *what*?" The young woman with lavender hair, violet eyes, and an excutiatingly violent temperment as of late whirled on the old lady, who slumped her shoulders in resignation. The elder could remind the young lady of her place, but she already knew that it was a lost cause.
"Xian Pu, it's just the hor-"
"JUST THE *WHAT*?" Xian Pu shouted so loud, her voice shrilled, "MAYBE IT'S NOT THIS TIME, THINK ABOUT THAT? MAYBE I LIKE BEING ANGRY RIGHT NOW? MAYBE I'M NATURALLY SUPPOSED TO BE ANGRY RIGHT NOW? MAYBE I'M HAPPY AT BEING ANGRY! I'M HAPPILY ANGRY RIGHT NOW! I'M SO HAPPILY ANGRY I COULD GRAB RANMA'S NECK WITH MY LEFT HAND, AND USE MY RIGHT TO TWIST OFF THE HEAD LIKE A CORKSCREW! AND THEN STOMP DOWN RANMA'S NECK UNTO ALL OF THE SHITHEAD'S INSIDES ARE HYPERDENSE GELATIN SETTLING IN THE SOLES OF THE FUCKER'S SHOES!!! I'M SOOOOO FUCKING LUDICROUSLY SHITFACED HAPPILY ANGRY I COULD GODDAMN SCREAM UNTIL I SHIT FROM MY EARS IN RAPTURE!!!"
The elder stepped back with more than a slight amount of concern; Xian Pu was a bit too colorful for her liking. Thinking quickly, the elder redirected the younger's feral attention, "Oh! A frozen yougart parlor, are you feeling hungry?"
Xian Pu's raging countenance changed to one of pure bliss, "Ohhhhh!!! Yes, yes, yes, pretty please?!?"
"I think we should stop for a treat," the elder's eyes shifted, as she quickly wiped a bead of nervous sweat that had broken out on her temple, "After the journey we've made so far today, I think you deserve a bit of rest."
"Rest?" Xian Pu asked with a deadly calm that caused all the wildlife within a three kilometer radius to run to a relatively safer twenty kilometer radius, "Why would I need to 'rest', Hmm? Do you think I'm getting feeble? Do you think I'm in no condition to continue on, huh? Do *you* think I'm no longer the champion warrior you've trained since I was able to walk? *Well*? DO YOU THINK I'M NO LONGER WORTH YOUR GODDAMNED TIME, THAT YOU CAN LEAVE ME SOMEWHERE IN THIS MISERABLE FORSAKEN COUNTRY AND RUN BACK HOME?"
Xian Pu was sobbing by now, "I thought you loved me? What have I done to upset you so? Can you forgive me? I beg for your forgiveness, elder! Please don't leave me alone! I'm sorry! I *REALLY* am! I-"
"Ah..." the elder shifted her eyes nervously to the crowd building around them, "Xian Pu, I bet they have butterscotch there..."
"YAY!!! BUTTERSCOTCH!" Xian Pu was suddenly no longer postrating herself before her elder's feet, and bouncing from foot to foot, while swinging side to side happily.
Elder Khun Lon sighed, and grumbled under her breath, "Ranma, you will answer for this. I swear by all my ancestors honored, you will pay dearly..."
____________________
All the students slowly backed away from the general direction of the gate; all of them staring in wide eyed fear at what was coming through.
"It's... it's not possible..." muttered one frightened girl.
"What have the Hells released upon us timid mortals?" One young man whispered, suddenly brandishing Shintoist prayer beads in warding.
Akane looked around, as she walked through the gate, and rolled her eyes. She knew what was scaring the Hell out of all them, but she thought it really was an overreaction. She did have to admit one thing, though...
"Honestly, we're out in public."
Akane turned to look over her shoulder, to find Ranma embracing a blissfully smiling Nabiki from behind; following her steps intimately close, while his chin rested on the top of her head. As usual, his eyes were hidden by his dark shades, but the smug smile on his face gave away his mood.
What struck fear into the hearts of Furinkan High's attendance was the fact that Nabiki, the most ruthless, vengeful, devious, guileful, and arguably sinister person to ever grace the Furinkan district, was together with Ranma; easily the most violent, dangerous, vicious, and outright craziest G this side of American soil. They were together, they were both smiling, and they were together.
Was it mentioned that they were together?
Truly, two of the horsemen of the oncoming apocolypse have come together with the intent of catastrophic myschief. Beli' dat, foo'!
"Suddenly, I think I need to relocate... north! WAAAAYYYY up north!" One student proclaimed, before running into the school, with the intent of withdrawling from Furinkan High forever.
"I think I left the stove on and my house burned down," One girl stated, making a mad dash for the side gate. Suddenly, a new trend was started; get the hell away from the couple of Nabiki and Ranma, as far and as quick as possible.
Nabiki giggled, as she managed to build enough willpower to pull away from her fiancee's embrace, though taking his right hand into her left, "I'll see you at lunch, okay, Ranma-kun?"
"Aight," Ranma replied with warm humor, "I'll catch you later, den." Nabiki stepped back to Ranma, still holding his hand. She tilted her head up, and gave him a light kiss on the lips.
"Bye," the middle Tendou sister replied, as she pulled away. Ranma snorted, and kept ahold of her hand. Nabiki stopped, and turned to Ranma with a puzzled expression, before he pulled her back in for another light kiss. Nabiki giggled again, and waved to him with her free hand, before attempting to pull away again. Ranma grunted in negative reply, and kept ahold of Nabiki's hand. Nabiki stopped again, and giggled harder, as Ranma pulled her in again for another light kiss.
"Ranma, we're going to be late," Nabiki lightly scolded, as she had pulled back only a few inches from Ranma after their last kiss.
"Na, we got... yo?" Ranma looked around at the practically empty schoolyard, "Where the peeps?"
Akane chose to continue rubbing her forehead through the black bandanna she wore under her hairline with her eyes closed, and walk into the school, not answering the question.
____________________
Ryoga stood straight at attention with a solomn expression before the man at the large marble desk.
The rather well-groomed Japanese man in his mid-fifties, with a firm, stout build, clean haircut and wirefram glasses, looked back at Ryoga with equal graveness. "I see," he stated in a voice almost monotone in its stoicness, though it reverberated with a pitch bass, "That is a great mis-fortune. I'm afraid I won't replace your gun, if you cannot prove to be responcible for keeping it accountable. And your second failure needs to be answered for, also."
"Yes, I am aware of my dishonor, and request my amends for such dire failures that reflect badly upon you, sir." Ryoga said with a straight face, though inside, he was heavily seething.
"I'm glad you understand the seriousness of this situation," the man at the desk said with a chillingly calm countenance. He opened the second drawer of his desk on the right side, and pulled out a laquer box about the size of a shoebox, "You know what to do, I believe?"
Ryoga nodded, and stepped up to the desk. He opened the box, and removed a rice-silk drop cloth, a silk hankerchief, and an extremely sharp tanto. This would be Ryoga's first time, but he had seen it done by other members of his Yakuza sect.
Ryoga kept his face solumn, as he carefully wrapped the pinky of his left hand in the cloth at the first joint, "Damn you Ranma, this is all your fault..." He then laid his left hand flat against the dropcloth, "You miserable son of a bitch..." He then picked up the tanto, "By all that could ever be sacred to me..." Ryoga braced the knife right above his pinky, at the first joint, "I will make you pay for this..." Ryoga took a deep breath, and braced, "PAY FOR THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" Ryoga started the blade down...
::KINK!::
Ryoga blinked, having his thoughts and atonement interrupted, by a second knife that kept the blade from cutting off his pinky's tip. He looked up, to find his boss's satisfied expression, as he held a second knife in place.
"It pleases me to know you take your actions seriously, but I just wanted to ensure you're sincerity," he stated with light humor, "I've decided to give you another chance, without having to disfigure yourself. This Ranma boy, I would like you to bring him before me, so that we can properly decide on what to do with him."
Ryoga fought to keep from baulking. He wanted to shout at his superior, he wanted to refuse the command. Revenge on Ranma was his personal mission, and his only. Instead, he asked with a deceptively calm, but curious tone, "Sir?"
"You have proven yourself a valuable asset to me, and quite the up and coming Yakuza in your own right. I would like to make it a full message on what happens to anyone who challenges me, or those that serve under me." The man at the desk grew a slight smile, "Particularly those I hold in high regard."
Impotent at his situation, Ryoga could only bow, "Thank you for granting me an opportunity to redeem myself."
"And as I am aware of your... spacial ailment, I am being lenient on your deadline. Two months."
"I understand." Ryoga bowed, and left the office. After he was gone, the man at the desk allowed himself a full smile.
"Ranma Saotome, you indeed sound like an impressive young man..."
____________________
"I missed you," Nabiki whispered, as she walked home from school, hand in hand with Ranma.
"I know, I know," Ranma replied, looking around the area, and keeping himself from looking into Nabiki's wanting eyes.
"You know that I missed you, or you know because you missed me just as much?" Nabiki asked with warm cheer, though there was the barest hint of an edge in her voice.
"I-" Ranma suddenly scooped Nabiki up into his arms, cradling her, as he leapt onto the roof of a nearby house. Nabiki hadn't missed the sound of something crashing through concrete less than a split second from their leap.
"WHAT?" Nabiki shouted, before she heard Ranma swear, and leap again to another roof, "WHAT'S GOING ON?!?"
Ranma was in the midst of another leap, "FUCK!" Nabiki felt the world revert inside out, as Ranma twisted upside down, and around from a two foot projectile that bolted past them.
"The bastard is a fast one!" said projectile growled, as it rebounded off a nearby roof, and headed back at Ranma and Nabiki.
Ranma leaned back, pulling Nabiki as tight as possible into himself, as he twisted away from the end of some sort of staff aimed at his face. His momentum had been totally thrown out, forcing him and Nabiki into freefall, with Nabiki clutching to him from top while Ranma fell backwards.
In a tight flip, Ranma landed on his feet, while letting his ankles and knees absorb the fall as not to jolt Nabiki. Ranma quickly put a severely shaken Nabiki to her feet, and gently but urgently pushed her away, just as a familiar figure walked around the corner, glaring intentful murder.
"Sha-Shampoo?" Ranma studdered in shock. Nabiki didn't miss it.
"Shampoo? Who is that girl, Ranma?"
"RUN!" Ranma shouted, jumping away from Nabiki, just as a their attacker from the air landed right where he had been with a crippling impact. Ranma bounded off the side of a nearby building, and twisted to meet his attacker in the air. After a few seconds, Ranma and what appeared to be an old troll battled furiously in the air. After the trade off ended, they fell past each other. Ranma landed in a roll, clutching his ribs and testing the shoulder of his other arm. The old woman landed on the end of her staff, before she turned to glare at the pigtailed young man.
"At least you have skill," she growled, bracing to attack again, "Too bad, in the end."
"Great Grandmother, STOP!" The exotic looking young lady shouted, causing the old woman to pause, "We no kill the miserable yak fucker."
"Yak fucker?" Nabiki repeated, before turning to look at Ranma with a frantically questioning expression. Ranma shrugged his good shoulder in response, before turning back to his stare off against the old woman.
"What's going on? Why are you attacking Ranma?" Nabiki demanded of the younger woman.
"Because," the other young woman pointed her bonbori mace at Ranma; a few bits of powdered concrete fell from its rounded end, "HE SHAMPOO BABY DADDY!"