What Truths the Light will Show

Disclaimer: As per usual, I must reluctantly admit that I do not own any part of V for Vendetta in any way, shape or form.

Author's rant before the fic: 'Cause, seriously, I can't think of how to start this. This is the point where the story gets M for Mature! If you don't like mature fics stop reading now. I don't want to get any flames later complaining that you don't like slash, how dare I make V (Grant) have sex with a man. In all fairness, I will accept flames saying how very unsexy this chapter is, as those ones will be true. Oh well.

Also I must give a huge, huge Thank you very much to the ever-wonderful Belmont-Bellamy for giving me feedback on this chapter. She is very much t3h awesome (typo intended).

Chapter Eight

VvV The Past VvV

In the month following their meeting at the coffee shop, Grant had seen quite a bit more of Gabriel, and sometimes of Lisa. Tonight, the men had been out to see an amateur rugby game; a pass time that they both shared. Gabriel used to be a player, Grant still joined in on scrimmages every so often. As Grant drove back to the couple's flat, they started discussing the possibility of getting some friends together to form a team for a local, non-competitive league.

"What, no Lisa tonight?" Grant asked as he followed Gabriel into the apartment.

"No, she's having a girl's night out with her bridesmaids. The wedding's three months away and Lisa is getting excited and giggly about the whole thing." Grant shook his head.

"I guess you can't blame her, even if this is her second wedding. But, aren't you excited too?" He looked inquisitively at his friend.

"Well, yes, of course," Gabriel admitted. "But I'm not getting caught up in the little details like she is. Why, did you really want to get all giggly and gush over pictures of dresses and cakes? After we can make ice cream sundaes, paint our nails… it'll be great," he deadpanned. Grant let out a bark of laughter.

"Um, I'll pass, thanks. That's not really my kind of thing." Gabriel grinned broadly.

"Fine. If I were to make us some coffee, would you promise not to choke on it?" he inquired teasingly.

"Not fair!" Grant retorted, leaning against the kitchen counter. "If you recall, that was entirely your fault. You should know better than to propose something like that to someone right after they've taken a mouthful of coffee. Although, it would have been very interesting to see her reaction," he admitted with a grin.

Gabriel laughed as he filled the coffee pot with water. "Forget her reaction, yours was priceless." Always the good sport, Grant couldn't help but look back and laugh at himself. He was caught off guard when Gabriel's hand slipped over his waist and a pair of warm, soft lips met his own. Eyes widening in shock, Grant placed a hand against the man's chest, pushing him back gently. He couldn't help but notice that the flesh beneath his hand was warm and firm, obviously well-toned.

"What?" he gasped. His heart was racing.

Gabriel lowered his head, his face curtained in waves of his long, brown hair. "I'm sorry. I just thought…"

"You thought that I was gay?" Grant choked, disbelieving. My God, is it really that obvious? Has everyone seen it? Gabriel backed away quickly, unsure of how this man would react. How offended would he be?

"No, I'm sorry. I just thought that… Well, I thought that you looked like you were interested in me." His gaze flitted between Grant and the floor, a look of deep shame crossed his handsome features.

Still reeling, Grant grasped at the first excuse he could think of. "You're going to be marrying my cousin! I couldn't possibly… I mean, it would just be so wrong…"

"Lisa knows that I'm gay, Grant." He looked up to see Gabriel regarding him seriously. "Look, ours is a marriage of convenience, and Lisa knows it. I own a publishing company, Grant, and I need a lovely wife to take to dinner meetings and publishing parties. Being openly gay could ruin my career. And Lisa, well, let's just say she really needs the financial support right now. We're not in an exclusive relationship, and we're both totally comfortable with that. In fact, Lisa has someone on the side right now, and I'm fine with that."

Grant blinked, trying to take everything in. It wasn't easy when half of him was screaming to get out of there, and the other half was begging for more. Quite stupidly, the only thing he could think to say was; "Is Lisa a lesbian?"

"No," came the calm reply. "She's not. But I couldn't help but notice that your first objection was the fact that I'm engaged, not the fact that I'm a man," Gabriel said shrewdly. Damn him.

"Look, the thing is… Okay, when you said I seemed to be interested in you… well, you were right. But…" He let out a nervous bark of laughter, running his fingers through his hair and pacing in the small kitchen. "But I'm not gay," he said helplessly.

Gabriel nodded his head sagely. "That's perfectly normal…" he began.

"You don't understand!" Grant banged his head against the counter. "This isn't about me being a closet homosexual and denying it! I like women, really I do. It's just…"

"I'm not saying that," he placated, raising his hands. "Look, it's not unnatural for people who are essentially heterosexual to want to experiment with someone of the same sex. And it doesn't have to be any more involved than that. I'm not asking for lifelong devotion. This can just be a pleasant night."

"Right. Really? And then what happens after tonight?"

"Everything after this point is entirely up to you," Gabriel replied, turning his back to pour two cups of coffee. "This can go as far as you want, or nowhere. If you want, you can even choose to walk out the door. I don't want to pressure you, I won't try to push you into anything."

But both men understood that it wasn't a simple question of walking out the door… that by leaving, Grant would be walking out of Gabriel's life. He would never know what may have happened here. One must always be bold and daring,(1) he reflected. "I don't even know where to start…" he confessed softly.

Gabriel approached him slowly, stopping mere inches from him. "We start wherever it feels right for you." In that moment, Grant felt as though he were 14 years old all over again; at that precarious age where girls were still gross and yet, oddly fascinating. There were similar feelings, the same agonizing mix of excitement and embarrassment and fear as when he had stood before the first girl he kissed, the same knowledge that things were changing.

As he had back then, Grant moved in tentatively, gently placing one hand on the side of Gabriel's face, more to ground himself than anything. Leaning in, he placed his lips softly against the other man's. The kiss was soft and uncertain, until Gabriel took charge, opening his mouth and gently grazing Grant's lower lip with his teeth.

He groaned and closed his eyes, leaning back against the counter and relaxing. This was a familiar feeling; a warm body against his, a deliciously moist tongue exploring his mouth, even the feel of long, silky hair against his face and hands helped Grant maintain the illusion that he wasn't really kissing a man.

The comforting effect of the lie was shattered when Gabriel leaned against him, pressing an unfamiliar hardness into Grant's pelvis. Gasping in shock, he backed up, bumping against the counter. "Grant, you need to relax. Take my word for it, this isn't going to work if you don't relax." He leaned forward, his moist tongue darting out to taste the salty skin on Grant's neck. Moaning softly, Grant tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"Let's take this to the bedroom," Gabe suggested huskily. Grant allowed himself to be led to a small room across the apartment; he let Gabe press a hand against his chest, encouraging him to sit on the bed. Nimble fingers undid the buttons on his shirt. A soft pair of lips brushed against his chest, a warm and talented tongue flicked out against his nipple, teasing it gently.

Gabe drew back slightly to take in the sight before him. Grant's light brown hair was tousled, his slightly-tanned face flushed with arousal. He panted lightly, then nervously licked his lips. Delicious.

Eventually, the hands continued on their downward quest; undoing the last of the shirt buttons, continuing to the belt buckle. Grant gasped and stiffened as Gabriel eased the zipper down over the bulge of his erection. He was grateful that the other man was gentle about it, unlike some of the women he had slept with.

With vague memories distracting him, Grant gasped in surprised pleasure as he was suddenly engulfed in Gabriel's warm, moist mouth. His head titled back in ecstasy as the nimble and talented tongue swirled around the tip, moaned as Gabe relaxed his throat, taking all of him in. Grasping the edge of the mattress, his breath coming in short pants, he writhed in ecstasy.

Gabriel teased him slowly, drawing out the sweet, anguishing experience for an excruciatingly long time. His head bobbed rhythmically, at times pausing to swirl his tongue around the tip. A delicious heat spread through Grant's body, every moment bringing him closer to release.

Crying out wordlessly, he arched his back, toes curling into the carpeted floor, as he reached the ageless, blissful void of orgasm. No thoughts, no worries, no fear… just pure pleasure.

He flopped back onto the bed in a boneless pile, vaguely aware that Gabriel was removing the rest of his clothing. Grant watched in a post-orgasmic haze, noticing the toned muscles moving gracefully under smooth, bronzed skin as Gabriel removed his shirt. There was a dusting of dark blond hairs on his chest, leading into a line that ran down his toned stomach.

Soft waves of golden hair framed his face as he looked down on the bed at Grant. "We don't have to go any further than this," he said calmly. "It can end here, if you want. Grant sat up, considering the offer for only a moment. He had made up his mind.

He set about undoing the cuffs of his shirt, his trembling fingers fumbling slightly with the small buttons. Grant shrugged out of the garment, tossing it unceremoniously to the side. He was grateful to see that Gabe was no longer watching him, had turned away to get something out of his nightstand; it would have been too unnerving if he had watched Grant strip completely. He finished undressing while Gabe had his back turned, and threw his clothes carelessly across the room in his haste.

"This will be easier if you kneel on the bed facing the headboard," Gabe informed him as he walked towards the bed. There was a small, white tube in his hand.

"Am I getting shagged or getting arrested?" Grant half-joked. Nevertheless, he did as the other man instructed, placing his hands against the wall. His heart pounded with excitement and anxiety, the care-free afterglow of his first orgasm already beginning to fade. He gasped slightly as Gabe's fingers slid gently down his back. A firm hand laid on Grant's hip as the other man leaned in close.

"I've got some lube here, and that will make things much easier, but I'm not going to lie to you… this will hurt at first. And once you get past the pain, it will feel extremely good. Just remember to relax…"

VvV Still The Past VvV

He rolled over languidly, if somewhat gingerly, flopping onto his back in pure exhaustion. The sweet, blissful after glow of sex was somewhat hampered, however. Had he been with a woman, Grant would have reached out to her, run his hands over her smooth, sweat glistened skin, buried his face in her hair to inhale her scent. With a woman, if things had gone well, he may have even been up for another round. However…

A vague panic set in, burning in his chest. What did this mean? He sat up abruptly, his eyes flicking around the room, searching for his clothes.

"Are you okay?" Gabriel asked, his eyes wide with concern. Grant merely muttered and nodded his head.

"Pants, where the hell are my pants?" he gasped, wandering around the room. Anything to keep from thinking about what had happened.

"Grant, talk to me. God, I'm sorry, look, I'm sorry. Are you okay, Grant?"

"You know, you're going to think it's so odd," he blathered on, still trying to turn his mind off. He yanked his shirt over his head and tried to flatten his mussed up hair. "I was actually just thinking about something I remember from when I was younger. I was at this family gathering for something… I think it was Easter Dinner or Christmas Dinner or something like that…" Gabriel shook his head and frowned. He slipped into his pants.

"Grant, what are you talking about? Just sit down and relax, okay. Just calm down a bit."

"No, it kind of is pertinent. You know how families sit around after eating and just chat after dinner? Well, one of my uncles started talking about homosexuals, how he saw them in bars and on the street and all that. He was mocking them. In fact, everyone there was just disgusted by them. And I remember sitting there and thinking to myself 'What's so bad about being gay, as long as people are happy and in love?'"

Gabriel just stood there, regarding him seriously for the longest time. Grant couldn't bring himself to look at the man, fearing that he may be disappointed or angry. Sighing, he replied, "It's a normal response to gays and lesbians, Grant. Even though we technically have the right to be open about our sexual practices, we are still hated. That's why I'm having such a hard time coming to terms with being openly gay. I can't do it, Grant." His voice was calm and level, trying not to spook Grant even further.

He chuckled ruefully, with just a tinge of hysteria. "I'm having troubles coming to terms with simply being gay. I mean, sleeping with a man once doesn't truly make me gay, does it? It's just an experiment, isn't it? Is it odd that I still don't believe that I am gay, even after this?"

"Not really," Gabriel sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, I don't blame you for being confused and worried, especially considering your family and… other things. I know how difficult it can be to come to terms with something like this, Grant. I really don't blame you for freaking out"

"I'm actually hoping that my family will love me, no matter what," he replied, calming down a bit. "It's actually the political climate that bothers me now. That Norsefire party and their leader, Adam Suttler…" Gabriel let out a nervous puff of air. Grant stood in the middle of the room, nervously clasping his hands in front of him.

"Yeah, I know. They're scary, is what they are. I didn't pay attention to them before, back when they were one of those silly fringe parties that no one really took seriously. But now… they've gotten themselves an amazing amount of support, and they're not afraid to show that they're zealots."

"They remind me of Nazis. I don't know why nobody else sees it." Grant fell silent, contemplating the possible consequences of what he had just done. Homosexuals were now being treated as social outcasts, due in large part to the devastatingly efficient propaganda machine of the Norsefire. "And if they keep going the way they are, gaining more power…" he noticed that Gabriel had gone unusually still. He looked frightened and ashamed all at once. "Look, Gabriel… I'm sorry. I just…" he paused.

"It's okay if you regret what happened. I'm just sorry you seem to feel… well, guilty about this."

"This was my choice, Gabe… remember?" He gazed around the room, starting to feel boxed in. "Let's talk about this somewhere else." They went into the kitchen, where Grant lowered himself gently into a kitchen chair, wincing as he sat. Though Gabriel had tried to be careful the first time, his body was still sore. Gabriel wandered to the coffee maker, the coffee having brewed some time ago. He poured a cup for each of them. "I just want you to understand that I don't hate you for being gay or for what happened," Grant clarified, looking anywhere but at the other man. "You gave me every chance to walk away, and I didn't. Everything that happened… we both had a part in this."

"I don't blame you for being scared, Grant." Gabriel's voice was soft. He suddenly looked very weary. "You said it yourself… this isn't a good time to be a homosexual. Coming to terms with something like that is difficult in the best of times, but now, with the members of Norsefire spreading messages of hate about us…" he trailed off.

Grant frowned, looking at the other man for the first time since they had had sex. "Are you really so worried about that? Does that really scare you, Gabe?"

"I'm not ashamed of being gay," he said sternly, piercing Grant with a fiery gaze. "It's not sick and depraved like some people would have others believe, it's just a natural part of who I am."

"I know. I didn't mean that you should be ashamed. I mean… Christ. Look, I'm the one with the problem. It doesn't bother me that you're gay, really, it doesn't. The whole problem is I'm wondering if I'm gay or not… I'm confused as hell here. But I never meant to make you feel bad."

Gabriel lowered his head and chuckled softly. "Well, you're lucky. You could wake up tomorrow and decide that his whole thing was a mistake and go on living a socially acceptable life. I know I'm different, but it's not the being different part that bothers me. It's the fact that there are people out there who will hate me for it. And the whole situation for me just gets worse whenever Norsefire and goddamned Suttler get more power."

"You know I don't hate you, Gabe," Grant said reassuringly. "I don't. I know that you're a decent man and you were… you are a good friend." Gabriel grinned sadly, catching the slip. "As for Norsefire… just sod them, okay? Even if they end up gaining majority seats in parliament, which probably won't happen anyways… well, what's the worst they can possibly do?"

Quotes:

(1) Quoted from Belmont-Bellamy, I believe it was in a review that she sent me. Isn't she wonderful, everyone? (Seriously, read her fics, they're great.) Let us now proceed to worship her greatness by showering her in chocolate and puppies. mm…. chocolate puppies Psst… hey, Bel? Is that a good enough reference to your quote?

Author's note: Sorry for all the drivel again, but you know me, I have to explain I couldn't very well write "On day, Grant woke up gay. He went to Gabriel's house, where they proceeded to shag like bunnies." I was thinking of making the ending a lot cuter and happier than the way it is now, but changed it due to some very good suggestions from the ever-wonderful Belmont (all bow before her). Cute just wouldn't make sense in this situation, as realistically, a person potentially changing their sexual orientation is a very confusing and frustrating thing. Secondly, it wouldn't fit with the tone of the story… we know there is no "happily ever after" for these two.

I planned on having more sex, but that's where I blanked and couldn't write again for a whole month. Perhaps more than that, even. Sorry, guys, I hit a brick wall here. 'Tis official: I cannot write sex-scenes. The mind is willing, but the descriptive factor is a BITCH!