Ranma: Just Plain Hard
"Ranma still gone?" Nabiki enquired, finally emerging from her room and coming downstairs.
"Hello Nabiki, I believe so," Kasumi replied, as she looked up from her conversation with Shampoo, "Akane's with him, too."
Nabiki felt a twinge of suspicion and jealousy, but decided her own sister wasn't stupid enough to make a second mistake of the same type, especially when she well knew Nabiki's methods of getting even. "Trying to keep him out of trouble, no doubt," the middle Tendou Sister responded, covering her concern.
"I suppose," Kasumi replied.
Shampoo snorted, "Is more like getting Akane in trouble."
"That's not very nice, Shampoo."
The pregnant Amazon continued, undaunted, "He probably get Akane pregnant, too."
Nabiki's chest felt like lead at the comment, while Kasumi's eyes went wide. "Th-that's nothing to joke ab-bout," Kasumi studdered, suddenly growing very concerned.
Shampoo rolled her eyes, "Shampoo no telling joke. He no keep in pants if no get any in not even too, too long."
Before Nabiki's fear could truly peak, the front door slammed open, revealing three hysterical teens. "There's Ranma now, see, Nabiki, you were concerned over nothing," Kasumi consoled.
"BUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! OH SHIT... OH SHIT NIGGA. I mean... oh shit!!!" Ranma began running in circles, while flailing around lazily like an orangatan that had been shot in the butt, and was slowly bleeding to death.
Akane fought to get her breath undercontrol, from both running from Kuno all the way home, and laughing so hard, "I-I've n-n-never seen Kuno so mad! I mean, when you..." Akane pointed to the long haired boy that neither Nabiki or Kasumi recognized, "... and you took out your... and told him to s-suck it.... heh heh heh ha ha haaaaa!!!"
The boy in the white coat shrugged, "Shiiiittt, kid didn't need to go all ballistic and shit. I paid for my damn head and he gonna step down? Ain't got no business sense."
"Yo, yo, I know what it is, he just racist against Chinese!" Ranma commented, before she collapsed to the ground in laughter.
"Fuck, and I'm still hard."
"We have another guest," Kasumi announced for the benefit of others.
"No... no him..." Shampoo whispered with wide eyes, drawing the attention of both Nabiki and Kasumi.
"So, you know him, Shampoo?" Nabiki enquired, pointing to the newcomer.
At the mention of his name, Ranma, Akane, and the young man that was with them quickly went silent. "Mousse," Shampoo growled, almost making the name sound like a curse even further damning than she would say the word 'Ranma'.
Mousse stepped forward, gently nudging everyone out of the way. Taking a deep breath, and clearing his throat, he addressed the pregnant girl, "Shampoo... I heard about our kid, and I just want to let you know..." he knelt down at the table opposite of Shampoo, and grasped one of her hands in both of his, "That I'm gonna be a trooper. I'm not going to abandon our kid, you hear? We in this togetha, thick and thin, through some hard times. I'm here to take care of business, you hear?"
Shampoo blinked at the touching proclimation made by the male Amazon, slammed him over the head with the tea table, stomped on it, produced a steel tentspike and large hammer, and positioned the tip of the spike over the lower center of the table, about where Mousse's crotch would be.
Akane, Nabiki, Ranma, and Kasumi all barely managed to wrestle the girl away before she performed a ghetto-style vasectemy. "WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!" Akane shouted, as she did her part to pin Shampoo to the wall with the others.
"Mousse," Shampoo started in a conversational tone, as if she weren't being manhandled by four people at that moment, "What Shampoo say what happen if come near again?"
Mousse moaned, and pushed the table off of himself, "Aww, now we both know you weren't meaning it."
"And what exactly Shampoo mean by 'Make Mousse swallow dick inversely'?"
Akane, Nabiki, Ranma, and Kasumi blinked, and stared at Shampoo. "What the fuck *is* that supposed to mean?" Ranma enquired.
"Shampoo, kid, that was jus' the hormone's talk'n back then," Mousse explained, bringing himself back to standing, and approached the restrained girl, "So why don't we stop harrass'n my boy here, and get to bounc'n back to the 'berg?"
Shampoo snapped at Mousse's face, almost biting off his nose. Her struggles increased, as the four girls holding her worked harder to do so. "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" Akane shouted, now putting her back into it.
"SHAMPOO GO NOWHERE WITH MOUSSE!" the enraged Amazon shouted, spewing spittle in the male Amazon's face, "SHAMPOO STAY UNTIL RANMA ACCEPT BABY!!!"
"IT' AIN'T MY KID!"
"If you had just kept your damn dick in your pants, none of this would be happening!" Nabiki interjected angrily, as she glared at her supposed boyfriend.
"What the fuck? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU DEN! WHY YOU GONNA BE DRAMATIZING THIS SHIT LIKE IT'S YO BUSINESS?!?" Ranma shouted back, returning Nabiki's glare with equal heat behind her shades.
"Ah... well the blood test will clear that all up, won't it?" Kasumi attempted to quell the rebudding argument before it got too hostile.
"Oh, snap! Yeah, let's go do that shit!" Mousse nodded slowly, feeling he could roll with the idea, "We then can get all this shit wrapped, and head on back to the crib!"
Shampoo stopped struggling, as her furious expression became one of shock and fear. She suddenly gripped her back against the wall, as if trying to escape through it, "No! Mousse no take blood test!"
At the outburst, Akane and Nabiki frowned, before suddenly relinquishing their holds. Kasumi let go next, staring at Shampoo with concern, while Ranma finally let go last, giving Shampoo a look of distain.
"See, this is da shit I was talk'n about!" Ranma exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, "She gonna be hound'n a nigga like she got facts, and she gonna try to hide from tha truth!"
"Well, we would have gotten to the *truth* if you had taken the damn test yesterday like we demanded!"
"Don't fucking start the fuck up with me, bi-"
"You say it..." Nabiki quickly cut Ranma off, giving her a glare that forced everyone back in fear of getting frostbite. Ranma didn't say a word, instead accepting the middle Tendou sister's staredown with one of her own.
"Damn, we gots drama," Mousse mumbled, earning a nod from Akane.
"Shampoo, are you sure that Ranma is the father?" Kasumi enquired in the most concerned, caring voice she could muster.
"It have to be Ranma! Is no one else!" Shampoo responded, adimantly.
"But you just said that you've also slept with Mousse," Nabiki interjected, causing Shampoo to baulk.
"Shampoo... Shampoo..." The Amazon girl's eyes narrowed, "Shampoo no say such thing."
"No," Akane said in a slightly pitying voice, "But your reaction just now did."
"You're lying to us, Shampoo," Nabiki accused, turning her glare at the Amazon.
"Yes, she is."
All eyes turned to the Amazon Matriarch, standing in the doorway.
"G-Great Grandmother..." Shampoo breathed. The pregnant woman began to tremble, realizing she just seriously tripped up.
"LOOK! It's the voodoo-biddy!" Mousse exclaimed, before his head got lodged in the new hole in the ceiling.
"I'm not currently in the mood to put up with your unique brand of idiocy," Cologne commented in a cold voice, as she lowered her staff. She then focused on her Great-Granddaughter with a hard expression, "I've humored your disrespect because of your condition, but I cannot tolerate lying to an Elder, even if I'm your Great-Grandmother." Cologne's voice grew deadly quiet, "Especially if I'm your Great-Grandmother..."
"Shampoo... I..." Shampoo closed her eyes, "Elder, I did not do it in any disrespect to you."
"Japanese, girl. There will be no hiding this from the others like a coward," Cologne commanded, "You've lied to me, Shampoo. You've disregarded the trust placed in one you revere, and damaged it irrepairably. You did this so cavalierly, and you say you intended no disrespect?"
"Sh-Shampoo sorry," she whispered, keeping her eyes closed, but unable to prevent the tears from escaping.
"Hmph, your apology is worthless at this point." Cologne turned her back to leave, "You better pray to our ancestors that the child is indeed Ranmas... or else it would be advised you not return to the village."
Shampoo's eyes snapped open, "Gr-Great-Grandmother? What... what you say?"
"If it isn't Ranma's child, I will no longer recognize you as a member of the Neichiizu, my heir... or my blood." With that, the Amazon Matriarch left the room.
Shampoo slumped against the wall, and slid down in shock. "It... it Ranma baby... it have to be Ranma baby..."
"Damn, that was harsh," Ranma whispered, even sounding sincerely concerned now. The redhead turned back to Shampoo, as she covered her face with both hands in her pitiful position. Nabiki and Kasumi both knelt on either side of the girl, attempting to console her and offer their support. Mousse and Akane both looked towards one another, unsure of how to deal with the situation.
"I-i-it have b-be Ranma... Shampoo... Shampoo no..." the girl's ramblings diminished into Mandarin, as felt the world drop from under her once again.
"Ranma still gone?" Nabiki enquired, finally emerging from her room and coming downstairs.
"Hello Nabiki, I believe so," Kasumi replied, as she looked up from her conversation with Shampoo, "Akane's with him, too."
Nabiki felt a twinge of suspicion and jealousy, but decided her own sister wasn't stupid enough to make a second mistake of the same type, especially when she well knew Nabiki's methods of getting even. "Trying to keep him out of trouble, no doubt," the middle Tendou Sister responded, covering her concern.
"I suppose," Kasumi replied.
Shampoo snorted, "Is more like getting Akane in trouble."
"That's not very nice, Shampoo."
The pregnant Amazon continued, undaunted, "He probably get Akane pregnant, too."
Nabiki's chest felt like lead at the comment, while Kasumi's eyes went wide. "Th-that's nothing to joke ab-bout," Kasumi studdered, suddenly growing very concerned.
Shampoo rolled her eyes, "Shampoo no telling joke. He no keep in pants if no get any in not even too, too long."
Before Nabiki's fear could truly peak, the front door slammed open, revealing three hysterical teens. "There's Ranma now, see, Nabiki, you were concerned over nothing," Kasumi consoled.
"BUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! OH SHIT... OH SHIT NIGGA. I mean... oh shit!!!" Ranma began running in circles, while flailing around lazily like an orangatan that had been shot in the butt, and was slowly bleeding to death.
Akane fought to get her breath undercontrol, from both running from Kuno all the way home, and laughing so hard, "I-I've n-n-never seen Kuno so mad! I mean, when you..." Akane pointed to the long haired boy that neither Nabiki or Kasumi recognized, "... and you took out your... and told him to s-suck it.... heh heh heh ha ha haaaaa!!!"
The boy in the white coat shrugged, "Shiiiittt, kid didn't need to go all ballistic and shit. I paid for my damn head and he gonna step down? Ain't got no business sense."
"Yo, yo, I know what it is, he just racist against Chinese!" Ranma commented, before she collapsed to the ground in laughter.
"Fuck, and I'm still hard."
"We have another guest," Kasumi announced for the benefit of others.
"No... no him..." Shampoo whispered with wide eyes, drawing the attention of both Nabiki and Kasumi.
"So, you know him, Shampoo?" Nabiki enquired, pointing to the newcomer.
At the mention of his name, Ranma, Akane, and the young man that was with them quickly went silent. "Mousse," Shampoo growled, almost making the name sound like a curse even further damning than she would say the word 'Ranma'.
Mousse stepped forward, gently nudging everyone out of the way. Taking a deep breath, and clearing his throat, he addressed the pregnant girl, "Shampoo... I heard about our kid, and I just want to let you know..." he knelt down at the table opposite of Shampoo, and grasped one of her hands in both of his, "That I'm gonna be a trooper. I'm not going to abandon our kid, you hear? We in this togetha, thick and thin, through some hard times. I'm here to take care of business, you hear?"
Shampoo blinked at the touching proclimation made by the male Amazon, slammed him over the head with the tea table, stomped on it, produced a steel tentspike and large hammer, and positioned the tip of the spike over the lower center of the table, about where Mousse's crotch would be.
Akane, Nabiki, Ranma, and Kasumi all barely managed to wrestle the girl away before she performed a ghetto-style vasectemy. "WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!" Akane shouted, as she did her part to pin Shampoo to the wall with the others.
"Mousse," Shampoo started in a conversational tone, as if she weren't being manhandled by four people at that moment, "What Shampoo say what happen if come near again?"
Mousse moaned, and pushed the table off of himself, "Aww, now we both know you weren't meaning it."
"And what exactly Shampoo mean by 'Make Mousse swallow dick inversely'?"
Akane, Nabiki, Ranma, and Kasumi blinked, and stared at Shampoo. "What the fuck *is* that supposed to mean?" Ranma enquired.
"Shampoo, kid, that was jus' the hormone's talk'n back then," Mousse explained, bringing himself back to standing, and approached the restrained girl, "So why don't we stop harrass'n my boy here, and get to bounc'n back to the 'berg?"
Shampoo snapped at Mousse's face, almost biting off his nose. Her struggles increased, as the four girls holding her worked harder to do so. "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" Akane shouted, now putting her back into it.
"SHAMPOO GO NOWHERE WITH MOUSSE!" the enraged Amazon shouted, spewing spittle in the male Amazon's face, "SHAMPOO STAY UNTIL RANMA ACCEPT BABY!!!"
"IT' AIN'T MY KID!"
"If you had just kept your damn dick in your pants, none of this would be happening!" Nabiki interjected angrily, as she glared at her supposed boyfriend.
"What the fuck? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU DEN! WHY YOU GONNA BE DRAMATIZING THIS SHIT LIKE IT'S YO BUSINESS?!?" Ranma shouted back, returning Nabiki's glare with equal heat behind her shades.
"Ah... well the blood test will clear that all up, won't it?" Kasumi attempted to quell the rebudding argument before it got too hostile.
"Oh, snap! Yeah, let's go do that shit!" Mousse nodded slowly, feeling he could roll with the idea, "We then can get all this shit wrapped, and head on back to the crib!"
Shampoo stopped struggling, as her furious expression became one of shock and fear. She suddenly gripped her back against the wall, as if trying to escape through it, "No! Mousse no take blood test!"
At the outburst, Akane and Nabiki frowned, before suddenly relinquishing their holds. Kasumi let go next, staring at Shampoo with concern, while Ranma finally let go last, giving Shampoo a look of distain.
"See, this is da shit I was talk'n about!" Ranma exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, "She gonna be hound'n a nigga like she got facts, and she gonna try to hide from tha truth!"
"Well, we would have gotten to the *truth* if you had taken the damn test yesterday like we demanded!"
"Don't fucking start the fuck up with me, bi-"
"You say it..." Nabiki quickly cut Ranma off, giving her a glare that forced everyone back in fear of getting frostbite. Ranma didn't say a word, instead accepting the middle Tendou sister's staredown with one of her own.
"Damn, we gots drama," Mousse mumbled, earning a nod from Akane.
"Shampoo, are you sure that Ranma is the father?" Kasumi enquired in the most concerned, caring voice she could muster.
"It have to be Ranma! Is no one else!" Shampoo responded, adimantly.
"But you just said that you've also slept with Mousse," Nabiki interjected, causing Shampoo to baulk.
"Shampoo... Shampoo..." The Amazon girl's eyes narrowed, "Shampoo no say such thing."
"No," Akane said in a slightly pitying voice, "But your reaction just now did."
"You're lying to us, Shampoo," Nabiki accused, turning her glare at the Amazon.
"Yes, she is."
All eyes turned to the Amazon Matriarch, standing in the doorway.
"G-Great Grandmother..." Shampoo breathed. The pregnant woman began to tremble, realizing she just seriously tripped up.
"LOOK! It's the voodoo-biddy!" Mousse exclaimed, before his head got lodged in the new hole in the ceiling.
"I'm not currently in the mood to put up with your unique brand of idiocy," Cologne commented in a cold voice, as she lowered her staff. She then focused on her Great-Granddaughter with a hard expression, "I've humored your disrespect because of your condition, but I cannot tolerate lying to an Elder, even if I'm your Great-Grandmother." Cologne's voice grew deadly quiet, "Especially if I'm your Great-Grandmother..."
"Shampoo... I..." Shampoo closed her eyes, "Elder, I did not do it in any disrespect to you."
"Japanese, girl. There will be no hiding this from the others like a coward," Cologne commanded, "You've lied to me, Shampoo. You've disregarded the trust placed in one you revere, and damaged it irrepairably. You did this so cavalierly, and you say you intended no disrespect?"
"Sh-Shampoo sorry," she whispered, keeping her eyes closed, but unable to prevent the tears from escaping.
"Hmph, your apology is worthless at this point." Cologne turned her back to leave, "You better pray to our ancestors that the child is indeed Ranmas... or else it would be advised you not return to the village."
Shampoo's eyes snapped open, "Gr-Great-Grandmother? What... what you say?"
"If it isn't Ranma's child, I will no longer recognize you as a member of the Neichiizu, my heir... or my blood." With that, the Amazon Matriarch left the room.
Shampoo slumped against the wall, and slid down in shock. "It... it Ranma baby... it have to be Ranma baby..."
"Damn, that was harsh," Ranma whispered, even sounding sincerely concerned now. The redhead turned back to Shampoo, as she covered her face with both hands in her pitiful position. Nabiki and Kasumi both knelt on either side of the girl, attempting to console her and offer their support. Mousse and Akane both looked towards one another, unsure of how to deal with the situation.
"I-i-it have b-be Ranma... Shampoo... Shampoo no..." the girl's ramblings diminished into Mandarin, as felt the world drop from under her once again.