Hey everyone. Thanks to everyone for reviewing and thanks a bunches to Alexz Rozon. A lot of ideas, but I like them. I'll use some of them in my chapters. This chapter basically fills in the gap of why Tommy never go too close to Jude. At least I hope it does. Anyway, I worked really hard on this. So I hope you like. Aside from Alexz Rozon...someone please give me some ideas. I know what she wants but someone else must want something to happen in the story. So if you do, tell me...come one...don't be shy! Okay, well...love ya'll!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the song Scars.
Chapter 3: I Don't Love You
Tommy just sat there at a red light looking at Jude shocked but then again pleased. He thought about this as they sat there waiting for the light to turn green. Jude found herself, hating herself for suggesting it and now was looking at her shoes as she fiddle with her star ring. Tommy was thinking, 'I love her. I really do, but could I control myself if she's there. I do have a spare room. Hmm, this is really hard. She looks like she really wants to go.'
Jude still sat there trying to avoid Tommy's face as she stared out the window. The light finally turned green without Tommy saying a word. Jude assumed that Tommy was going to take her house. She slouched in disappointment. Then they missed the turn to her house.
Jude: Um, you missed your exit.
Tommy: No, I didn't.
Jude: Excuse me?
Tommy laughed at her. She looked so cute when she was confused.
Tommy: Well, I mean, if you don't want me to come over I can just turn back around.
Jude: (jumping in hastily) No, no, that's okay.
Tommy: Okay then.
He drove for another 15 minutes until he turned into a driveway with an average size house, just a slight bigger than Jude's own house. Jude looked at the outside wondering a former boy bander would be in this kind of house. She got out trying to think this through as she looked at the house. Tommy locked his care and went up to the door. Jude heard Tommy unlock the front door with his keys and ran up the steps and stepped into the room. It wasn't what she expected, but she liked it. She looked around with smile on her face.
Tommy had white walls decked out in record contracts, platinum records, and pictures of celebrities. Then Jude turned to the big screen plasma TV and the love seat in front of it. She glanced at Tommy and Tommy's eyes lit up knowing she loved his place. Jude went to the wall with the pictures that was right next to the TV and a glass cougar that seemed like it was priceless. She began very vigilant of her steps. She looked at them and turned to Tommy.
Tommy: You like?
Jude: I didn't know you knew all these people.
Tommy: What can I say? I'm famous everywhere.
Jude: Way to be modest.
Tommy: Come here, I'll show you to your room.
Jude trailed Tommy upstairs. She looked into all the rooms and stopped at one in particular.
Jude: Oh, my god!
Tommy turned around and smiled.
Tommy: Seems like you found my studio.
Jude nodded her head in amazement. She walked in the room and looked around it. There was a soundboard that looked exactly like the one in G-Major. But there wasn't a separate booth for the microphone; it was just set in an empty corner with a stool next to it. There was a closet and she went to open it. That's when she saw the most beautiful guitar she has ever seen. It was a black classic acoustic with white lines around the edges. It had gold strings that haven't been touched and perfectly tuned. Tommy nodded at her to go ahead. Jude was almost afraid to touch it. Then she gingerly lifted it off the stand. She sat in the stool next to the soundboard.
Jude: Wow, I never saw anything so beautiful.
She started to play a beautiful slow melody and closed her eyes. Tommy (who was standing in the doorway the whole time) grabbed another guitar from the corner and sat on the stool next to her. He picked up the melody and he jumped in. Jude opened her eyes and smiled sweetly at Tommy and he smiled back. About only five minutes later, she stopped and put the guitar back on the stand. She yawned.
Tommy: You tired girl?
Jude: A little.
Tommy: Well, now that you're done admiring the studio, I'll show you to your room.
Jude: Okay.
Tommy set the guitar back down and led her to the guest room.
Tommy: Here it is. My room is right across, if you need anything.
Jude: Okay.
Tommy was about to walk out until he felt Jude's hand on his wrist. He turned to face her.
Tommy: Yes?
Jude: Um, thanks, you know, for everything. I'm really glad you came with me tonight.
Tommy: No problem. It was fun.
The both smiled and Tommy walked out. Jude closed the door and slid against it happy. About two hours later Tommy heard a knock on his door. He groaned sounding irritated and didn't get up. Then he heard it again.
Tommy: Yea?
Jude: Um, Tommy, it's me, can I come in.
Tommy: Uh, sure.
Jude opened the door slowly and poked her head in. Tommy turned around in his bed. He waved his hand gesturing her to come in. She stepped in the room. She was wearing one his long T-shirts and his blue boxers.
Tommy: Nice clothes.
Jude: Oh, yea, I got it from the shelves inside the room.
Tommy: So what's up?
Jude: I'm kind of scared.
Tommy: Excuse me?
Jude: I feel kind of strange in this house and I don't want to sleep in the room alone. So, I was just…wondering…maybe I could stay in here, at least until I'm tired enough to go back to bed?
Tommy: Jude, I'm not too sure about this.
Jude: Please? Just for a while?
Tommy: (sighs) Alright, fine, climb in.
Jude excitedly jumped in bed with him. He laughed at this, he loved seeing her happy. She pulled the covers over her and got into a comfortable position. Tommy's eyes popped up unexpectedly in remembrance of something.
Tommy: I almost forgot.
Jude: What?
Tommy: Since, you can't go to sleep, we'll just watch a movie.
Jude: Okay, which one?
Tommy: I have the perfect one.
Tommy got up from his bed. It was then when Jude noticed that he was wearing red plaid pajama pants and no shirt. It showed off every single one of his muscles. Jude loved the way his abs and biceps showed. She laughed a bit at the sight of him in the pants though.
Tommy: What's so funny?
Jude: You know, you would look really hot if you didn't have those pajama pants on.
Tommy: Well, you know I can always take them off.
Jude shook her head and threw a pillow at him and told him to start the movie. He put the DVD in and sat back on the bed. Jude watched the TV screen on the wall to see what movie he put in. Tommy just stared at her waiting for her reaction. Then the title Romeo and Juliet came upon the screen. She became agape. She turned to Tommy who was obviously staring at her the whole time.
Jude: Oh, Tommy, you remembered?
Tommy: Of course I did girl.
Jude: That's so sweet. Thanks.
They started watching the movie. After about an hour in, both of them fell asleep. Jude's head was laying on Tommy's chest while his arm was around her shoulder. Jude was under the sheet while Tommy slept on top of them. It was about 6:30 in the morning when Jude woke up. She found herself almost on top of Tommy. She backed up a little not getting out of his grip. She looked at his face and let her fingers travel across his abs. This woke up Tommy and he found Jude face to face with him.
Jude: Good morning (she whispered).
Tommy: Good morning (he whispered back).
Jude: I finally got to sleep.
Tommy: Yea finally.
Tommy and Jude both laughed. Tommy put his hand on Jude's face and rubbed his thumb against his skin. She closed her eyes loving how his warm touch felt on her face. She leisurely moved his hand from her face to her waist. Jude leaned in and kissed his lips softly. She pulled away to look at his eyes. She saw nervousness but kissed his lips again with more intensity and he kissed back. Jude's lips toured down to his neck and then to his chest and stomach. Tommy closed his eyes as he felt her warm kisses around his body. The alarm from his clock went off as it read 7:00. Tommy quickly got up and shut the alarm off. Jude shot up and looked at Tommy looking a little embarrassed as so did Tommy. He gulped loudly. Jude was leaning in again and Tommy pulled away. She opened her eyes confused.
Tommy: Um, I'm going to cook some breakfast. I have to get you home before your mom or sister realizes that you're not there.
Jude: Tommy what's wrong?
Tommy: Nothing's wrong. I just don't want you to get in trouble that's all (he said getting up).
He walked out into the living and then into the kitchen. Jude followed.
Jude: Tommy, are you okay?
Tommy: Um, yea, sure.
Jude: Is this about what happened just now?
Tommy: …I guess. That was a mistake.
These words hurt Jude but it didn't seem to faze Tommy.
Jude: I don't understand.
Tommy: It was a mistake Jude. This whole thing, you in my house, in my bed, kissing you…it was just a big stupid mistake.
Jude: Oh, okay. (getting teary eyed) I thought that you said you loved me?
Tommy: I never said that.
Jude: Yes you did. Yesterday, in the car, or do you not remember?
Tommy: I was just quoting Shakespeare.
Jude was trying to hold back the tears that were laying in her eyes.
Jude: And all this time I thought you were doing much more than that.
Tommy knew this was hurting Jude, but this couldn't happen. There were just too many things standing in the way.
Tommy: Then I guess you thought wrong.
Jude: I don't get it Tommy. First, you make me believe that you love me and want to be with me. Then the next thing I know you're blowing me off and icing me.
Tommy: Look Jude, me and you, us…this can't happen.
Jude: Why not?
Tommy: You're only 17. I could go to jail.
Jude: So we'll keep it on the DL for now. I'm going to be 18 in a couple months.
Tommy: With the paparazzi following you everywhere? That's impossible.
Jude: Tommy…
Tommy: Jude, I'm sorry, but, it's just not going to happen. Okay?
Jude: Look me in the eyes, and tell me you don't love me.
Tommy looked into her eyes and it was so hard to say it. But he knew that he had to be convincing. He didn't want to do this, but he was only doing it for Jude's sake. This could destroy her and her career if they hooked up and people found out.
Tommy: I don't love you.
Jude back away and started to cry.
Tommy: I'm…
Jude: Save it Tommy! I'm going to go get ready.
She stomped out of the living room and slammed the guest room door. Tommy closed his eyes tightly and slammed his fist against the wall. 'Why do I have to keep hurting her, why?' He mentally scolded himself as Jude was in the room. Meanwhile, Jude was in her room getting dress and crying her eyes out.
Jude: I can't believe I fell for him…again!
She groaned loudly and threw his clothes on the floor heatedly.
Jude: Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I let him continue to hurt me? I'm so stupid, I should've known from the beginning he didn't love me. He wasn't speaking from his heart; he was speaking from a book.
She wiped her tears and went outside fully dressed in what she was wearing last night. Tommy was in the bathroom and there was a pop-tart waiting for her on the kitchen counter. She took it and ate it. After about 10 minutes she calmed down, but she was still mad at Tommy. He came out of the bathroom and saw Jude waiting on the sofa.
Jude: Come on, we better get going. My mom wakes up at 8:30 and it's already 7:45.
Her eyes were cold and stern. Tommy could feel his heart turn to ice. He nodded his head and followed Jude out the door. The car ride was silent. Jude never once looked at Tommy. She just stared out the window waiting to go home. They finally arrived. She walked out the car without saying anything to him and walked into the house. She heard him leave and she tip-toed upstairs. No one was awake yet and she sighed in relief. She went into her room and quietly closed the door. Jude felt so inspired by the fight she got her notebook from her desk and started writing.
Around noon Tommy called her cell. She rolled her eyes in disbelief. He had some nerve calling after what just happened. She picked up her cell anyway and answered it coldly.
Jude: What do you want Tommy?
Tommy: How'd you know it was me?
Jude: Uh, hello, caller ID.
Tommy: Oh, well, Darius wants you back in the studio.
Jude: Fine, I have a new song anyway.
Tommy: Okay, I'll pick you up.
Jude: Don't even think about it Quincy, I'll get Sadie to drive me.
She hung up the phone and went to go get Sadie.
Tommy was waiting at the studio waiting for Jude. He was playing with the keys on the soundboard thinking about this morning. He hated himself right now. Kwest came in and notice Tommy was having a bad day.
Kwest: What's up, man?
Tommy: Nothing.
Kwest: Nothing huh? Seems like you had some trouble?
Tommy: Kwest, if you knew that you loved someone, but there was no way you could be together, what would you do?
Kwest: Is this about Jude?
Tommy: You know me to well.
Kwest: Listen man, this age thing, I get it. But she's going to turn 18 soon. So what's the problem?
Tommy: It's not only age, she's still really young. So many people won't agree with it, and it could put our careers in jeopardy. Then theirs the tabloids, following us around, starting stupid rumors and gossip. I don't want Jude to go through that. I had to go through it when I was in Boyz Attack and I know how it is.
Kwest: Tommy, don't you think Jude knows what the consequences are? She can handle it.
Tommy: But I don't want her to have to be able to handle it. If that makes any sense.
Kwest: Yea, it does, so when you told her that she didn't understand.
Tommy just looked at him regretfully.
Kwest: You did tell her the real reason right?
Tommy: Not exactly. I sort of told her I didn't…love her…at all…straight to her face.
Kwest: You what? Oh my god Tommy, how stupid are you?
Tommy: Hey! I didn't know what else to do, okay! She wouldn't of accepted it if I told her the real reason!
Kwest: So you rather break her heart.
Jude came in and both of them looked at her.
Jude: Am I interrupting something?
Kwest: Nope, nothing at all.
Tommy: Come on in. So what's your new song?
Jude put her backpack down and took out her guitar. She started to play the tune and then her words began.
I thought you said you loved me
I thought we had it all
Didn't know you picked me up
Just to watch me fall
I felt it when you held me
I thought I saw it in your eyes
Guess I should've known
It was all part of a lie
Now I'm drowning in the middle of your ocean
Feeling up with mixed up emotions
Crying over you, wondering where you are
There was nothing left, until you gave me my scar
I thought you said you needed me
I thought you were the one
But you let everything burn
As you threw it in the sun
And I'm wanting and I'm hoping
That this was all a dream
That you didn't really say those words
That my hears are deceiving me
Now I'm drowning in the middle of your ocean
Filling up with mixed up emotions
Crying over you, wondering where you are
There was nothing left, until you gave me my scar
I've had enough
Since you put aside our love
Just say good-bye
And leave me to cry
Now I'm drowning in the middle of your ocean
Filling up with mixed up emotions
Crying over you, wondering where you are
There was nothing left, until you gave me my scar
Jude: There you go.
Tommy just stared at her. He really felt stupid now. The song was so intense and so powerful when she sang it. Kwest nodded his head in agreement with what Jude was feeling. Tommy didn't know what to say. He was so angry with himself. He got up and kicked the door open and went into hospitality. Jude looked at Kwest and rolled her eyes. She stood up and went to find Tommy. When she found him he was against the wall banging his head against the wall.
Jude: Hey, take it easy. Don't lose the few brain cells you have left.
Tommy just looked at her incredulity.
Jude: What? I was trying to make a joke. So, how'd you like the song?
Jude was trying to get him angry and it was working.
Jude: You know, I would really like your advice. I usually seek help from friends and family members, you know people who love me.
Tommy shot Jude a look. He lifted himself off the wall and was poured him a cup of coffee.
Jude: Oh wait, that's right. You don't love me. Remember when you told me that this morning? Of course it's kind of hard to forget. You made it pretty clear.
Jude knew she was pushing the limit but she didn't care. Tommy hurt her, and he wasn't going to do it anymore.
Jude: What, now you have nothing to say? Guess you talked yourself out this morning didn't you?
Tommy: Jude! Shut up just for one second please!
Jude: Why? There's no reason I should let you talk after…
Jude couldn't finish her sentence. Tommy grabbed her face and pressed his lips against hers. Jude was in total shock that she couldn't even kiss back. Once Tommy pulled away Jude was just frozen. She felt stuck to the ground. But she could still find words to speak.
Jude: Um, okay. What was that for?
Tommy put his head on hers.
Tommy: I'm so sorry for what I did. I love you Jude.
Jude: Really?
Tommy: Really. I just didn't want you to go through everything I had to go through. I didn't want you to deal with it. So I broke your heart and I knew it was stupid. I hope you'll give me a second chance.
Jude: Oh, Tommy, you can have all the chances you want.
Tommy smiled from ear to ear and Jude went on her tip-toes to kiss him and he kissed back still smiling. They pulled apart and hugged.
Jude: So does this mean that we're together?
Tommy: Only if you want it to.
Jude: Trust me, I want it to.
Tommy: Okay, but we have to keep in secret.
Jude: Yea, I know. 'Tis thou love me? I know thou wilt say Ay.
Tommy: Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear. That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-
Jude: Oh, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, the monthly changes in her circled orb. Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
Tommy: Than what shall I swear by?
Jude: Do not swear at all. I shall still believe thee.
Tommy: You like to change the play don't you?
Jude: Sometimes.
They laugh and Tommy grabs his coffee as they walk back to the studio. Kwest was there waiting for them.
Kwest: I hope you two worked everything out.
Jude: Yea, we did.
Kwest: Good, because we have work to do.
Jude: Alright. I'm going to go in the booth.
Jude grabbed her guitar and went to go to the studio. But Tommy stopped her before she walked out the door and whispered in her ear.
Tommy: If you're not planning anything tonight…
Jude: Yea?
Tommy: Wondering if you could stay the night at my place tonight.
Jude: I don't know.
Tommy: Please? Say you're spending the night over someone else's house.
Jude: I could say Patsy.
Tommy: Thanks. Now hurry and get in the booth slacker.
Jude laughed and went inside the booth. She put her words on the stand, put her earphones on, and put her guitar on her knee. Once Tommy found that she was set, he press the record button.
It took about an hour and a half just to get the first two verses down. Tommy kept staring at Jude and it made her nervous. Then Tommy would start making funny faces at her and she would laugh. Kwest kept glancing at the two as how their mood changed so rapidly. He decided to brush it off…for now. It was getting late and Kwest had to go home. Jude and Tommy stayed to finish recording.
Jude: Guess I should've known, it was all part of…ha, ha.
Tommy made a face that involved his tongue sticking out and his eyes crossed.
Jude: Tommy, if you don't stop I'm never gonna get done.
He pressed the button so he could speak to her.
Tommy: That just means more time for us.
Jude: Oh that reminds me, I have to call my mom and Patsy. So I can have everything planned.
Jude put her headphones down and ran out of the booth. She took her cell phone from her backpack and called both her mom and Patsy. Patsy was in on the plan and her mom was totally fooled.
Tommy: So is it all set?
Jude: Yep, I'm all yours tonight.
Tommy: Please don't tease me.
Jude: Who said I was teasing.
Tommy: Oh.
Tommy grabbed Jude and pulled her closer to him. They kissed an intense kiss. They pulled away and Jude grabbed her backpack and her guitar. She was going to walk out until she sensed that Tommy wasn't following her. She turned around and gave him a befuddled look.
Jude: Are you coming or what?
Tommy: I'll be there in a minute. I need to do some last minute mixing.
Jude: Well, then I'll stay.
Tommy: No, it'll take 2 minutes. Just go to the car okay. Here are the keys.
He took the keys out of his leather jacket and threw it to her. She caught them and strolled out of the studio. Once Tommy thought he left he started to jump up in the air and turned around so he was facing the wall.
Tommy: Yes, yes, yes! She's mine, she's finally mine! Oh my god, I can't believe! Yes!
He turned around and saw Jude leaning against the entrance of the door way. He stopped suddenly and turned three different shades of red. Jude had an okay-then-face on her.
Jude: That happy, huh? You know, I was just coming in here to get my jacket.
She grabbed her jacket from the chair.
Jude: I'll meet you outside.
Tommy: Yea, uh, see ya there.
Jude laughed and shook her head as she left G-Major. Tommy finally came out and jumped in the car. Jude was listening to the radio waiting for him.
Jude: You, uh, done doing your little dance their?
Tommy: That never leaves your lips to anyone.
Jude: Of course not. No, come on, I wanna finish Romeo and Juliet.
Tommy: Alright, alright, we're going.
Aww! I LOVE the part where Tommy starts jumping around because he's so happy about finally being with Jude. Don't you? I started laughing when I wrote that. Well, anyways...you see that button down there that says "Go" ? yea, you're suppose to press that and tell me what you think, K? I'll try to update more soon. See ya!