I do not own Shaman King. Or Duvet by BOA.

Connected to Exaudi nos et misrere. A sort of prologue, to give people an idea of the Meene I am trying to create and explain. Based on a mixture of the manga and tv series for the most part. AU.

I had to break this chapter up into three separate parts because it is insanely long and complicated.
(Please also note that the formatting for this fic sucks… I spent hours trying to get it right but I've given up)

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Within the ship that the X-Laws made as their headquarters there are three rooms that most members did not enter.

One such room was Marco Innocenzo Testarossa's personal bedroom, the X-Laws only entered when Marco expected them or asked.

Another was the Holy Iron Maiden Jeanne D'Arc personal area in the bilge where she resided most of the time encased in the Iron Maiden of Roses. Members of the X-Laws almost never entered it unless they had the express permission of Jeanne or if it was an emergency.

The third room was not a forbidden room per say compared to the other two but it was a room that not many entered on a regular basis. It was called the 'vault' by those who knew about it, the place where all the reports on Hao's group and other such information which passed through various X-Laws agents and sympathizers and into the X-Laws hands. This was where information was screened, translated, processed and then finally taken to the leader to base future plans and strategies.

It was a difficult and frustrating job running the place, seeing that much of the information was often in a foreign language of some sort or came sporadically from unknown sources making it difficult to verify its truthfulness. Even if the information was factual and reliable there was also the question whether or not the information source was sincere in the X-Laws mission of ridding the world of Asakura Hao.

The operator of the 'vault' knew from personal experience that some of the information fell into the X-Laws hands because of the petty rivalries between the ranks of shamans within Asakura Hao's group. But such information was on shamans who were not very powerful or trusted by Hao in any way. The operator was almost absolutely certain that most of the powerful shamans had very few such petty squabbles or friction between them. Hao kept them in line for the most part. And they were all driven by the false vision of the Shaman Kingdom. Nothing quite destroys enmity and competition between individuals than a grand ideal, good or evil, shared by all.

Then there was an incredible load of what the operator categorized as useless information. Such as information about Asakura Hao's preference of using soy sauce for his meals. What was the operator supposed to do with information like that? Send a packet of poisoned soy sauce to Hao? Or Marion Phauna's tendency of speaking in third person which practically everyone, who heard of the girl, would know about. Or the seemingly random (and useless) tidbit of information about Big Guy Bill which listed all 21 names of his dead teammates and how they died. Though Marco seemed to be particularly amused by it, the operator was not amused at all and tried imagine why anyone would waste their time actively researching about it.

Then there was the extremely rare useful and helpful information that usually got things done. It didn't happen often but occasionally the information allowed the X-Laws to eliminate Hao sympathizers and followers. Boris Tepes Dracula's death was the result of some fortuitous information to fall into the X-Laws hands and it certainly wasn't the only one.

Of course there were downsides in running a information network such as this. There was always the chance that the information from a source is nothing than a ploy to destroy the X-Laws. It had happened before and it would happen again though the operator was quite thorough making sure it wasn't a trap.

It seemed that today the information that passed through the 'vault' was routine and not at all important or useful. The operator just had one more thing to do before leaving.

It was to check the e-mails from the Catholic Church and personal messages to make sure they weren't loaded with a virus. Usually the messages between the X-Laws and the Church were brief and pertaining to the funding of the group. The dry necessity and logistics of running their group. It was probably the most common e-mail received in the entire mailbox on the secured line.

Personal messages were rare, that is to say almost non-existent. The mailbox was almost always empty of any sort of personal message. It was a bitter reminder of just how much all the X-Laws had lost. There was no family or friends in the outside world for most of them. There was no home to return to but the ashes of the old.

Yet there were the occasional surprising message that came out of the blue. Most recipients were eager for such messages. But there was one who hated receiving them.

Picture the room in your mind if you can. It is a sterile, impersonal room with file cabinets lining each side. A large oak table sits in the middle comfortably with a computer and it's screen shedding light in the barely lit room. A young woman dressed in white staring at the screen and reading what was written on it in silence. The glare shines off of her face and blue eyes. The e-mail brings news she isn't sure how to respond to. Her face twitches and her eyes burn with the conflicting emotions of hate and pity. In silence she reaches towards the keyboard of the computer and begins typing her answer.

To: Father Pietros Salvatore Platamone piesalpla@cath.com
From: 333173 xiii-1@xlaws.com
Subject: Re: Forgiveness
Date: Sat, 23 June 2001 17:41:04 -0400

'All the old knives that have rusted in my back, I drive in yours.'

From: Father Pietros Salvatore Platamone piesalpla@cath.com
To: 333173 xiii-1@xlaws.com
Subject: Forgiveness
Date: Fri, 22 June 2001 22:32:14 -0300

It has been three years since the last time we have seen each other. No
matter how many times I send you a letter, call you or send you an e-mail.
You never answer back or you are always off somewhere.
I beg of you to answer me. I am an old man and I am, at last, dying. I
want to reach you, to see you if possible before I finally die. To talk if
for only one brief moment to apologize with all my soul and heart.
I have been terrible to you when you came under my guardianship. It was
never your fault but mine. I drank so much at that time...
Your mother is probably disappointed in me as she watches over you in
heaven.
Please answer me, 333173.

The message was sent and the silence was broken by the sound of the computer's fan whirling. The room was suffocating in it's heavy darkness and lack of air circulation. Meene wanted to get out immediately and took the scattered files on the desk to put away into the file cabinet.

It was enough for today. She had had enough at least. She had no stomach to deal with her former guardian and had no intention of ever speaking to him again. She had no intention of ever going back to the remnants of her old life. There were too many memories, regrets and sins in the past to deal with.

Beep, beep, beep. Beep! Beep, beep, beep. Beep! Beep, beep, beep. Beep!

Meene's Oracle Bell was ringing. The screen was flashing. The file folders she carried in her hand fell from her numb fingertips as she stood at the file cabinet. She stared at the coat hanger where she left her Oracle Bell hanging and took a deep breath before going to the Oracle Bell to see if her eyes were not fooling her.

X-III vs. Hoshigumi. Patch Village Stadium. 11 a.m.

She felt no fear but rather a detached fascination as she watched the glowing screen of the Oracle Bell flash and then silenced itself. The air was still and cloying again but it did not matter any more. The files on the floor did not matter. All that mattered was…

Without thinking Meene grabbed the Oracle Bell and raced out the 'vault' forgetting the mess of papers she made completely.

The time of vengeance was at hand. There was the shiver of death in her soul, hers or her enemies she knew not. All she knew was that she had to see Cebin, Venstar and Marco.

*****

"You are relieved from your standard duties for the rest of the day. Take some time to prepare for the match tomorrow but remember to sleep," Marco ordered firmly. He said it with the voice of an experienced leader; it was strange to hear Marco now. Five years ago, the man would become silent for too long as he thought up something to say in a situation like this. He was not as decisive when it came to issuing orders as he was now. Nevertheless, times change and people change.

Usually for the worse.

"As for you Lyserg Diethyl, I suggest you keep out of their way or make yourself useful," Marco said. Lyserg nodded silently.

"Dismissed."

The impromptu meeting the hallway ended as soon as it had begun. There was really nothing much to add that was not already decided beforehand. The first group who get to face Hao is to probe the enemy's strength as much as possible if they failed to destroy him. The destruction of Hao is paramount, but their death will not be in vain if they failed. May God bless them and their just endeavor.

It was really quite unfortunate that those words did not really comfort Meene since she is the first group to face down Hao. Not to mention that heard them far too many times in her short life to be inspired by them. Not that it truly mattered right at this point. She had slightly more important things to consider, other than her death.

"Marco?" Meene began conversationally when she was finally alone with him. Cebin and Venstar, especially Venstar, went off to prepare their weapons for the fight. Lyserg followed the two, though he seemed particularly grief stricken, to help them. Meene had tried not wince too hard as she saw a bruise growing on Lyserg's cheek.

"What is it? I have things to do…." Marco did not get to finish his sentence because Meene punched him in the stomach. Hard. Marco went down to his knees and his glasses fell to the ground.

"What the HELL was that for?" Marco sputtered as he tried to not lose his lunch all over the floor. Marco almost would have preferred being punched him in the face if it was not for the unfortunate fact Meene knew where his glass jaw was.

"That was for hitting Lyserg. The poor kid did not deserve it… Besides if I punched you in the face, you would just fall down unconscious and we wouldn't be having this conversation," Meene said in the same conversational tone.

"He didn't deserve it? He was questioning the will of justice! Not to mention being completely rude to you and the others," Marco said loudly as picked up his glasses and got up from his knees.

"The will of justice does not mean you get to punch him for being sad! You know what sort of personality he has. He doesn't particularly like losing people he's fond of."

"Oh I know what sort of personality he has! He is an idiot that still shows traces of misplaced loyalty to Hao's other half Asakura Yoh…" Marco ranted red in the face. Meene countered his rant angrily but in a somewhat calmer way but she felt her temper flare.

"He is kind! Gentle! Struggling to be just! He is a good boy who will grow to be a good man! It not as if he is the only one who shows traces of 'misplaced loyalty'! If I remember correctly, Father Luchist was it?"

Marco looked as though he was going to murder Meene.

'Oh wonderful… I pissed him off,' Meene thought to herself as she saw the throbbing vein of anger and red face of Marco. His glasses were back and were glaring due to the lights, hiding his eyes.

"What are you trying to imply?" Marco said giving each word a deadly edge. His hands twitched as though he wanted to strangle her.

"Marco, if you attack me. We'll hear how high pitched you were as a choirboy again," Meene said flatly. She drew herself into a combat stance and waited. Marco could not keep himself from wincing at her reminder. He did not want to go through that experience again. While Marco was a better shot with the gun than her, but Meene showed him more than once that he was incompetent when it came to hand-to-hand combat compared to her. He forced his hands to relax but his face plainly told her that he was very angry.

"Personally I don't think you had the right to punch me in the stomach," Marco said. He took the moral high ground of someone who didn't do anything wrong.

"No. You're right I didn't have the right to punch you in the stomach…" Meene conceded and Marco gave her a triumphant smirk.

"But Lyserg had every right to punch your face in and see you hit the ground," Meene concluded firmly. For a moment, Marco looked dumbfounded and then gave Meene a look that told her, she was pushing his patience again.

"We both have things to do. If you have nothing important to say just go and relax. You'll need your strength for tomorrow," Marco said dismissingly. At his tone, Meene blanched.

"Nothing important? You just hit Lyserg in the face right in front of us!" Meene protested. She had a horrible feeling that things were just going to get worse here on. Intuition told her that something was off about the way Marco was treating Lyserg. Initially she concluded that Marco was simply uncomfortable around children. Indeed she never seen Marco treat Jeanne or Lyserg as a child but rather as adults without exception or excuse; Marco believed utterly that age was no excuse for anything. Yet as time went on she began to notice little things about Marco and his conduct; his awkwardness around Lyserg, the occasional snappish criticism for minor incidences and then there was the out of the blue physical violence. Marco never blatantly lashed out at team members except under extreme duress. It was as if Marco was completely utterly clueless on how to treat Lyserg, therefore held the boy up to his exacting standards since he had nothing else to go upon. For Jeanne he relied on an incredibly old fashioned code of chivalry that was politically incorrect, bordering on sexism almost, to deal with her. Meene luckily was not treated in that manner, Marco made an exception with her. He regarded Meene as a car thief, one of the most diabolical of criminals in existence in his mind, and someone who was far too removed from the norms of society and his conceived notion of womanhood.

It was funny and sad at the same time. After all, just what does Marco regard as normal?

"It was to make him come to his senses and pay attention," Marco stated idly. To him the conversation was finished. Meene was startled out of her reverie and blinked.

"You hit him… so he would pay attention?"

Marco merely nodded.

Meene wasn't sure at first if he was joking or not. Then she remembered this was Marco, he almost never joked.

"I stand in awe of your leadership Captain Testarossa. Please do tell me how often you hit other fellow team members to make them come to their senses and pay attention to you. Oh wait, never mind, you only do this to thirteen year old boys who feel sad, and then you go on with your monologue of justice and then strike a pose in your short-shorts of eye gouging doom."

Sarcasm dripped from her words and Marco was not amused. He knew better than to be baited by her but he unfortunately could not stop himself. His mind was clouded with anger and embarrassment. What gave her the right to talk down to him as though he was an idiot? He was not the one who thought building booby traps outside the bedroom door as normal nor did he think that all children from age five and onward learn how to makes bombs and handles guns in school.

When he recruited her it was after she had been excommunicated and banished from the Order. She had signed up to go to high school for the first time in her life and was expelled from it within a month because she thought that the 'keep out' sign hanging on the fence of a renovation site needed a bit more of a zing to it to keep out trespassers. She electrified the entire fence and sincerely believed she was doing the school a favor by keeping out 'unauthorized personnel' and 'enemies'. Luckily the electrocuted construction workers were only badly shocked, not killed. There were other sinister things about her that he had heard but could scarcely believe, rumors of murder and of incredible cruelty in the name of the Church when she was working as part of the Order. Whether it was true or not was another matter but Marco had seen personally that the rumors held more than a grain of salt.

Meene felt no compunction to follow rules or honor and she had no regret in taking questionable actions to achieve certain goals. She had to be told what the limits were when doing her duty sometimes. Oh she was kind and gentle, some would say saintly but there was a streak of inhumanity in her that shocked people. It was an incredible irony really. In many ways she was the most 'normal' out everyone in the X-Laws. Until a situation arose that it seemed to simply shut off her morality and senses.

After all, one does not casually and cheerfully torture an enemy shaman to extract information. Meene was almost motherly in the entire affair as she pulled teeth out, smashed fingers with a hammer, cuts bits of skin off, ripped off fingernails to name but a few tactics, all while asking questions. Marco and everyone else could not stomach the procedures. Even though it was very effective and successful, Meene was banned from interrogations for the remainder of her service with the X-Laws. Her heritage bled through it seemed.

And she had the nerve to complain about his conduct to Lyserg? Unthinkable.

"I refuse to be lectured by you of all people! You have no right to, in light of your own past and what you have done before nephelim," Marco snarled.

Meene gritted her teeth and created a poker face. Marco then suffered a rare moment of tact when he realized what he said.

"… I'm sorry; I didn't mean it that…" Marco began.

"If you didn't mean it, then why say it in the first place?…" Meene asked in a cutting tone.

Marco paused and realized there was no point in continuing.

"…This conversation is over. Just go and get ready for tomorrow," Marco sighed.

Without a word, both went on their separate ways.

*****

Meene wanted to see the sun set across the waters again. She wanted to see the sun rise across the waters again as well tomorrow. She imagined she would be boiling with anger right at this moment but that was not the case.

It had not been Meene's intention to argue with Marco. Though it had been her intention to show her outrage at his actions, especially since she was going to die tomorrow, but she knew that they were both not used to having cordial conversations with each other. They were far too used to their present relationship of arguments and work.

They had maintained it in it's present state for almost eight years, she somehow doubted that even an impending apocalypse could change the way they interacted.

To think that it started all because she 'borrowed' his car.

"Meene-san."

A small tug was felt on her sleeve.

The voice and tugging on her sleeve surprised Meene thoroughly, she reached for her gun immediately, turned to face her addressor and pointed it at Lyserg's head. It was reflex drilled into her head ever since she was a child, to respond to surprise with deadly action. Her finger was on the trigger and the safety was off also. Lyserg looked very scared and his eyes were wide with shock.

"Lyserg, sorry you surprised the heck out of me," Meene embarrassed as she put away her gun quickly. She wasn't surprised often and most of the X-Laws had learned not to surprise her in any way ever since she accidentally shot Denbat, Porf and Larch when they decided to surprise her on her birthday in her room. She noticed that her room had been broken into and the alarm wire and booby trap had been circumvented. She readied herself for a possible enemy and followed standard room clearing procedures. She threw in a military grade flash bang to blind the 'enemies' and fired a few random shots into the room to panic them and then entered her room armed and ready to kill. Luckily, she only hit Denbat in the leg and scared the other two out of their minds when she threw in a flash bang into her room.

Surprise birthday parties in her room and surprise in general was quickly crossed out from their lists of celebrations.

Lyserg smiled weakly.

"Sorry, I forgot everyone's warning not to surprise you."

"It's alright… The sunset is really something eh?"

They stood side by side at the railings of the ship and watched. It must have been for a good hour or so that they stood their in silence and watched the passing of time through the slowly dipping sun. It was a peacefulness that Lyserg and Meene had not truly expected but nonetheless welcomed. The salt air blew in their face, soft but cold.

"Aren't you afraid?" Lyserg asked after the long stretch of silence. Meene's peacefulness in face of terrible battle was almost, for lack of a better term, 'Yoh'-like. The others were frantically preparing for battle (and secretly for funerals) but she was taking precious time to watch the sun set.

"I'd have to be insane, Lyserg, not to be afraid," Meene answered. Then there was silence between them again and the gentle lapping of the waves slapping the sides of the ship.

"But you will still fight?" Lyserg asked, there was sadness and despair in his voice.

"If I don't, who will?"

"I will... Because I'm not afraid to die… and you're too much of a good person to die," Lyserg answered mournfully, yet resolutely.

Meene tried not to laugh aloud at Lyserg's reasoning that she was too much of 'good' person to die. If only Lyserg knew about her, he would immediately reconsider his choice of words and misplaced affection for her. He was like Matty with his kindness, was that why she favored him so much? So she shuddered as she tried not to laugh bitterly at his choice of words and at the similarity of him and her dead younger 'son'.

"I'm not as good as a person as you say… Though I wish I were," Meene said quietly.

"Meene-san… Even you say you're not a good person. To me, you are. Ventar, Cebin and you have been so kind. I'm thankful for it," Lyserg said with a smile. Meene looked and saw the bruise that he had received from Marco earlier in the day blooming yellow on his cheek.

Lyserg noticed where Meene's eyes were looking.

"Oh this, it's all right now Meene-san. Marco-san didn't really mean it; he just loses his temper easily. I don't blame him… It's just that I'm so weak," Lyserg babbled a bit cringing at the look of concern that flashed across her face.

"You're not weak Lyserg… You're actually stronger than most of the X-Laws," Meene said quietly. She stared across the ocean and into the red tinted ocean. The color of the tint reminded Meene of the color of blood and her stomach lurched a bit at the thought. Lyserg looked at her baffled.

"I don't understand. What do you mean?" Lyserg said at last. He couldn't understand how he could possibly be stronger than most of the X-Laws. He was one of the weakest members in the entire group.

"It's because you don't look away," Meene said at last.

"What?" Lyserg asked not understanding.

"You don't look away from her and her pain. You don't look away when she enters the Iron Maiden. You don't look away when she leaves the Iron Maiden in a river of her own blood. You never look away while everyone else covers their eyes. Everyone is used to the blood including me, but I don't look at the Iron Maiden because I am tired of blood, I've seen enough of it to last me a lifetime… Only you and Marco look and see her suffering. You are a very kind boy and Marco is the shadow of a once kind man."

Another silence came about. This time it was more awkward than peaceful but they remained standing and watching until the sun extinguished itself into the now blackened waters of the sea. The once blood red tinted sea gave way to darkness. The stars began to show themselves and the moon peeked across the east.

"How can you tell me that that makes me strong? I can't avenge my parent's deaths if I'm kind. Marco… Marco tells me that I have to be cruel to do justice and I must sacrifice my life for it," Lyserg breathed out at last. The night was beginning to get cold as the sea breeze swept around him.

"Do you honestly believe that?" Meene asked, as she looked at Lyserg hard. There was no gentleness in her voice as there usually was, but there was a hardness that seemed to be amplified by the night's darkness. The shadows hid her eyes and most of her face so that Lyserg couldn't tell if she angry, sad or really feeling anything from her question.

"I… don't know," Lyserg, answered at last with every drop of honesty he could muster. A nearby light crackled to life and revealed Meene's face to him. It was a saddened look of one who truly sympathized another's pain. It was a sadness surprised him, for it was deeper than he expected. More than anything, she seemed to understand his uncertainty. She stepped forward and touched his bruised cheek gently, Lyserg felt a small shock of cold and then warmth. Her furyoku healed his cheek and the bruise disappeared, she took her hand away and stepped back with the same saddened expression.

"I'm glad that you don't know. It means you haven't reached your own conclusions yet. It would be too much of a blow to me if you thought that being cruel or dying is the only way to achieve justice, to achieve anything really… Cruelty and death can achieve so many great and terrible things but only kindness and life can achieve something that is great and truly enduring… I'm babbling… It's almost time for dinner Lyserg. You should go and get something to eat inside. I'll be in the 'vault' if you need me. Tell the others that as well. I need time alone," Meene said as she broke her gaze on Lyserg to stare out into the sea one last time.

"I'll be sure to tell the others that," Lyserg said quietly. Meene nodded and walked away from the railings. She headed towards the stairs. Lyserg strained his ears and heard the quiet words of a song Meene was singing to herself.

And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And I know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much …

The door at the bottom of the stairs closed.

All that remained was silence once more.

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(to be continued)