Chapter 4

Something about hunting and killing things, especially demonic things, makes Dean extremely horny. Which tonight is a good thing, because it means Dean will be 'out' for the night and Sam can read in the privacy of the motel room, with actual lighting. It took some finagling, but Sam finally convinced Dean he was too drunk to drive the car and managed to get the keys.

While under strict orders to get laid, or something that sounded like 'laid', as Dean's speech was a little slurred. Sam may have lied to Dean about the number of shots Dean had in fact consumed, before he went back for more. If the poor bastard can't keep track of how much liquor he consumes, he deserves to get his personal library of thoughts and feelings read by his younger brother, and possibly posted in said younger brother's blog.

I don't know how to help him. It wasn't supposed to be this way. We were supposed to go back out on the road and it was going to be just like it was before -minus Dad-, but the mission would be the same. I can't begin even to know the degree to which Sam is hurting and it makes me angry.

I've always been able to fix whatever is hurting him and now I can't and it pisses me off. I'm glad he's back, but if I had known this would be the way it was going to go down, I wish I'd never gone to get him.

He just makes me so mad sometimes. How can he possibly think it's his fault they died? Okay, I can see how he might think it, but he's smart enough to realize it's not his fault.

Sometimes, I just want to smack him upsides that shaggy head of his and then there are those times (they are few and far between mind you) that I just want to take him and hug him. Yeah, I said it. Dean Winchester sometimes wants to hug his brother. What? If I thought it would fix everything, I'd do it and never let go. Stop looking at me like that.

Seriously.

I don't know about Dad (I guess I do know how he feels about it: Nothing, since he won't return my fucking phone calls!), but I'm starting to feel afraid (for lack of a better word), or maybe ill-prepared would be a better description, about this whole freaky 'shining' thing. Seeing things that will happen in the future? Moving a cabinet with your mind? Come on. What am I so supposed to do about these things?

Seeing what the future holds would be bad enough, but having to see people die and then finding out you can't do anything about it? God, I'm so sorry, Sammy.

You know we finally get the family back together and it almost gets Dad killed. I almost get Dad killed.

Crazy-ass Meg and her crazy-ass daevas. What the hell kinda demons are too scared to fight in the flesh? It's a cop out if you ask me.

I can't say I'm not a little disappointed with Meg dying. I'd hoped for a 'bigger' showdown. Of course the little bitch did deserve to get killed by her own posse.

Good riddance.

I think things might be starting to get back to 'normal' around here. Practical jokes are always a sign that normalcy is making its way back to into life. It's a proven fact —look it up.

But, I swear to God, if that kid ever messes with my car again, I'll kill him. Said messing with the car better not include fish. That's my shtick.

Why does everyone think Sam and I are gay?

Kids today are so disrespectful, and they aren't even good at hiding it. They are a disgrace to every kid that lived before them.

Sam really needs to stop apologizing to me. It's starting to get old. I'm glad he's finally coming to realize how awesome I am, but he needs to find a new way to show it.

A suggestion: The phone numbers of at least two Playboy Bunnies. Or women that look like Playboy Bunnies. I'm not a real picky man. It's just a thought, do with it what you will.

Ah, so close. The kid almost got laid last night. Damn you cruel world, and evil paintings with crazy-ass kids with crazy-ass razor blades.

You know it's really starting to bug me, just when he starts to tell me what's really eating him up he says something like 'you don't know everything' or 'I need to keep some things to myself' or some other bullshit that just means I don't trust you enough with my 'feelings'. Whatever. But, then again I guess I can't complain too much since I do the same thing. Of course, I do it better, bitch.

As Sam closes the journal and turns out the light, he realizes that Dean might think about sex a little too much. Thinking about sex too much? Nah, that would be impossible.
Author's Note: Can you tell I'm getting bored with the exposition? I never intended for there to be any exposition, I just wanted to write journal entries, but here I am. I have an ending in mind, actually it's written, I just keep coming up with journal entries. Plus, it just seems so dumb? You know what I mean? Yeah...

Now, I have a question (God, this is the longest Author's Note in the history of Author's Notes.) :

Which is worse:

A fic that has a Mary Sue and doesn't state that it has one (either because they don't know the character is one or they just don't want to be bothered with the classification)

Or

A fic that knows it has a Mary Sue, states the fact that it has one, and then just goes on with the story like it's not a Mary Sue (this doesn't include those fics that are spoofs of other Mary Sue fics, where it is blatenly written in the story that it is a Mary Sue. I'm talking about the ones where in the summary they explain that the fic contains a Mary Sue and they know it, but they wanted to write the fic anyway.) I hope that makes sense.

So, the question? Huh? What? There was a question? Yeah, Known Mary Sue or Unknown Mary Sue: Which is worse?