Disclaimer: I do not own 'Berserk'; this is only a fanfic.
Authors Notes: Hello everyone! This chapter is long overdue and I can only hope there is still someone waiting to read it.
As Caska's presence was minimal in "The Swords Owner", I created a scene for her that is not in the manga or anime, although it relates to actual events in both. Without further adieu, please read, enjoy and leave a review.
Chapter 5: Clarity
The grounds within the Midland castle walls were truly impressive. Well-manicured lawns seem to stretch endlessly, as I took pleasure in a solitary walk. Another battle would take place soon and I planned to take full advantage of the peace and quiet.
Walking aimlessly through the grove, I soon found an empty stone bench near the south end of the castle and took a seat. I leaned back, as a light breeze whipped through, ruffling the ends of my dark hair and the leaves in the trees above.
"Aahhh!!!" I exclaimed. This was what I had been seeking; shade from the unrelenting sun and complete solitude. From where I sat, I had an excellent view of the orchard, as well as, the castles' rear stairwell that led to the garden.
Turning in that direction, I noticed our commander, Griffith, standing with Gutts.
"Together again, I see!" The sarcasm rang clearly in my own ears.
The two were deep in conversation and I studied them unobserved. One was as fair as the other was dark; one was a refined gentleman while the other was an undisciplined brute. Both were a complete contrast of the other and yet, something (I'm not sure what) bound them together.
Looking on, I wondered what they were discussing. It should not matter to me, but it did. Before Gutts came along, I was the one Griffith turned to… I was his confidant.
"Why him?" I asked for the hundredth time. "Why did Griffith choose him?"
Pulling my legs up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them, gave a resigned sigh and rested my chin on my knees. Both men had their backs to me; Griffith leaned on the balustrade, as Gutts sat upon it.
There discussion was somewhat intense. To the average onlooker, both men appeared to be having a normal conversation, but that was not the case to my trained eye. Griffith appeared relaxed, but he was absently fingering the strange talisman worn at his throat. It was a unconscious habit when he was deep in thought. Gutts also appeared at ease; however, those broad shoulders were hunched forward and rigid with tension.
Were they finally discussing the issue of Nosferatu Zodd? Since the day they had encountered the beast, neither, Griffith nor Gutts, had spoken one word about it. Not during the aftermath, their convalescence nor to any other member of the 'Hawks'… not even me.
I sighed again and exhaled loudly, my breath lifting a wayward strand of ebony hair from my eyes. At that moment, Griffith turned and leaned over the railing, facing in my direction. I pressed back against the bench, trying to conceal myself within the foliage, Pulling my legs tighter into my chest, I was hoping to remain unnoticed.
Why did Griffith trust Gutts? The man barely followed orders and, with the exception of Griffith and a few members of the 'Hawk's Raiders, he was considered a lone wolf. Not to mention, since our acceptance into the Midland army, Gutts had not made any attempt to fit in with the nobles.
Gutts was sullen and withdrawn in their presence. He rarely spoke, never called attention to himself, but the nobles were still intimidated by him. Although he lacked Griffith's eloquence and refined fighting style, no one could deny that Gutts wielded that monstrosity of a broadsword with accurate precision, producing the same deadly results.
Suddenly, the King of Midland appeared at the top of the stairs accompanied by, what looked like, a high-ranking official. His majesty's presence took Griffith and Gutts by surprise, but I saw him smile cordially and strike up conversation with the two men.
I watched Griffith genuflect in greeting, as one should in the presence of royalty. As usual, his manners were impeccable. To anyone observing him, he gave no indication of anything other than nobility himself. However, Gutts… always the disobedient commoner, remained standing.
"Gutts…" I hissed through clenched teeth and shot to my feet. "Stubborn brute!" I seethed; the man had no respect. Gutts knew what was expected in the king's presence and yet…
"Kneel, damn you!" I growled, as if he could hear me from this distance. The official accompanying the king stepped forward and seemed to mimick my exact words… minus the profanity.
Griffith turned to Gutts and waited. As the two men made eye contact, I sensed the silent appeal of our commander to his subordinate. After a brief exchange between them, Gutts finally conceded and dropped down on one knee.
"Insubordinate ass!!" I fumed. If that had been any other member of the "Hawks", you could best believe there would be hell to pay. Only Gutts was privileged enough to get away such an act of defiance.
Standing in front of the stone bench, I remained unnoticed as Griffith and Gutts were given permission to rise. The king continued to converse with the two and I crept forward, hoping to overhear when something caught my eye. As my eyes strayed beyond the king, I noticed a lone figure hiding behind one of the garden house pillars. It was the king's daughter and the only child of the monarchy… Princess Charlotte.
Petite and slender with fair alabaster skin, the king of Midland's daughter was the very essence femininity. Charlotte's abundant, russet hair was pulled back into two fashionable buns with soft tendrils escaping their confines and cascading around her perfect heart shaped face. A pert, retrousse nose was set above tiny lips resembling rose petals. But… it was her eyes; large, deep-set and the color of the deepest indigo that were her most striking feature.
Breathtaking - that was how men described the princess; or rather the few that had been fortunate enough to set eyes upon her. The young woman was a recluse. She was hardly seen outside the castle and just as rarely inside. As my eyes slide over to Griffith, I noticed he also had detected her presence.
"Who is that young lady over there?" Griffith inquired of the king.
There was something in his voice… something that caught my attention. As a woman amongst a band of unruly men, I had come to realize when a man showed interest in a woman. Judeau, Pippin and even a letch like Corkus voice altered over the sight of a busty barmaid or a quaint village girl. I even recalled Ricket's high-pitched squeak, as a young, pretty girl thanked him for fixing her ox cart and, it was clear from Griffith's tone, that he was interested in Lady Charlotte.
My heart grew heavy and my eyes shifted to my feet. I had no right to feel this way, after all, Griffith was my commander and that is all he would ever be. He did not see me as a woman; I was only Caska, his second in command and his left flank on the field of battle. I was no beauty, my only asset was my swordsmanship, which surpassed most men in the 'Hawks'. There was nothing soft or feminine about me and to Griffith, I was just… a fellow soldier.
My dark, pain-filled eyes looked back to the group on the stairwell. The conversation appeared to be over, as the king had already descended into the garden. I watched Lady Charlotte daintily lift her skirts and lunge down the stairs, hurrying after her father. In her haste, the princess stumbled and I saw her pitch forward.
Suddenly, Griffith appeared and caught her in a firm grip. His arm encircled her small waist, holding her steady until she righted herself. Even from this distance, I could see the faint blush that stained lady Charlotte's face and I could understand how she felt.
Eyes as blue as the sky on a clear day, met those of the deepest indigo. Standing within the circle of Griffith's arms, I watched in envy, as Lady Charlotte placed a tentative hand to my commander's chest.
It was too much to bear and I turned away; half disgusted with the act and half disgusted with myself. When would I learn my place with Griffith… when? From the moment he had rescued me from that perverted, old lord my parents had sold me to, I had worshipped him and had vowed to serve him.
Turning away from the scene, I retreated into the grove of trees and headed back to the encampment. My solitude was disrupted and I no longer found beauty in my surroundings. Emptying my mind, I refused to dwell on my whimsical fantasies and what could never be.
*****
The waiting was unbearable. Our unit was stationed amongst the tress; cloaked in foliage and out of view of the men aligning the fortress wall. Everyone was quiet, awaiting the final signal from Gutts.
Griffith's plan had three phases. A hawk had been dispatched, giving us the first signal to begin distracting the enemy. The Hawks appeared on the hillside, alerting Chuder's army of our presence.
We shouted battle cries, obscenities and made threatening gestures, as we awaited the next signal to begin the second phase. Everyone turned to the sound of a galloping horse and Ricket appeared over the rise, traveling at breakneck speed.
"Griffith!!!" the boy shouted, reigning in his mount. "I have confirmation that all the Raiders have crossed the river!"
That was the second signal, notifying us to fallback. Gutts' team had made it across the river and had gained ground to the rear of the fortress. On hearing phase two had been successful, the men quieted, turned and then retreated within the shelter of the tress.
More time passed and Corkus' constant nagging was starting to annoy me. "Is he gonna keep us waiting here all night?" the bastard kept repeating. I wasn't the only one to find him annoying, but the others as well. Even Judeau, who is the most patient of us all, had to grit his teeth to refrain from telling Corkus to shut up.
Suddenly, the massive doors of Doltry's stronghold were thrown open. My eyes grew wide in surprise and my jaw went slack. "He did it!" I nearly gasped aloud. "Gutts made it through." Gutts and the Raiders had penetrated the impregnable fortress. That was something Midland's Golem Knights had failed to accomplish.
"Griffith…" I exclaimed. Somewhat subdued until this point, I suddenly found myself anxious to assist Gutts and his men. My heart thumped wildly in my chest and my palms were moist. That was odd, as I had never before experienced such exhilaration before a battle.
"We shall wait for the signal!" Griffith stated firmly.
As usual, Griffith's planning was flawless. However… begrudgingly, I had to admit that Gutts had also executed it to perfection. Now I understood why our commander put so much faith in him. In my infinite dislike of Gutts, I realized I had undermined his abilities as soldier.
What I mistook for disobedience, was Gutts following his instincts. His tactless battle maneuvers were to defend his comrades and, what I called recklessness, was actually Gutts will to survive. It was my animosity towards him that had blinded me to his worth.
The blare of a horn sounded; the final phase of the plan was in motion and seeing those doors opened only heightened my exhilaration. My horse began to prance under me, as my excitement had transmitted to her, making her skittish.
"Everyone… charge the gate!" Griffith shouted, as he raised his sword to lead the charge.
We fell into formation and rushed down the incline. We raced along the moat, over the bridge and entered the fortress. A full scale battle was already underway and I immediately searched for Gutts. He wasn't hard to find; with that monstrous sword, bodies dropped like flies as he cleared a pathway for our forces.
The battle did not last long. Chuder's army were outnumbered and outclassed; therefore, they had no choice but turn tail and run. Only a few, along with their commander officer, managed to escape.
Standing in the bloody courtyard, in the midst of the fallen, Griffith's dismounted and removed his helmet. "You did quite well today," he addressed Gutts with a smile.
"I was only following your orders," Gutts responded with only a hint of a smile.
A sharp retort sprung to mind, but never left my lips. Gutts deserved praise. Without his efforts, conquering this fortress would have not have gone as smoothly; therefore, I remained silent.
"We did it!" Ricket shouted with glee.
"Yes…" I agreed. "We've finally driven a wedge into Chuder's territory."
We had achieved the impossible and the future looked bright for our mishmash group. Everyone must have sensed it, as this was the first time I had felt such amity amongst us after a battle. Griffith's dream was finally within reach and it was all… thanks to Gutts.
To be continued…