CHAPTER 32

Nathan poured a whisky, normally he wouldn't drink this early but he needed one.

What had Elizabeth actually said … She had hoped to see him, she needed to tell him that she now realised she had made a mistake, choosing Lucas had been wrong. That was all over now. Little Jack was with her parents in Hamilton and she was going to join them over the summer break, when she came back they could start over."

She had shed tears, Nathan had felt sorry for her, and while he hadn't said yes neither had he said no. His mind was working overtime, why would Bea have spoken to Elizabeth that way, would she even, why would Elizabeth lie about it, surely she would know he would ask. There again she had only been back a couple of days, did she know how close he and Bea had become. What a mess.

There was a knock at the door, he answered it hoping it was Bea coming back, they could talk this out, surely they could. It wasn't Bea, it was a very worried-looking Rosemary.

"Nathan Grant I hope you know what you are doing. Where is Bea? I can't believe after seeing you two together last night, the bond you have, that you are going to let her go."

"Wooo there Rosemary, what on earth are you on about, let her go where?"

"Go as in go."

"What makes you think I am letting her go?"

"Well, we have just had a visit from Elizabeth, letting us know she is going to spend the summer in Hamilton, that she and Lucas are over and that you and she are going to make a go of things when she gets back. Oh, and she hopes by then Bea has gone as she will just be a thorn in your side."

Now Nathan saw what a fool he had been, a coward. He should have just told her there was no way.

"Rosemary, I didn't say that. I was a bit upset with Bea for doing what she did.."

"What did Bea do ?"

"Well, accosting Elizabeth and telling her I had never loved her and ..."

"Oh, that is what she said was it? Well let me tell you something, I happened to come around the corner at the precise moment Elizabeth, yes Elizabeth accosted Bea, who by the way was cleaning your windows. I heard the whole conversation, Nathan if someone had spoken to me the way she spoke to Bea I would have slapped her. Not our beautiful Bea though, she shot her down in flames without even raising her voice, after being called "the cleaner" and "that woman " and being told "he loves me" that young woman did you proud. Where is she?"

"Why would Elizabeth lie, I am a bloody idiot."

"In this case Nathan you are, the Elizabeth we knew seemed to disappear a while ago, I have no idea why and after the way she treated you, you actually believed her. Let me ask you this, do you still love her, has Bea just been a distraction?"

"Rosemary I know now that I never did love her, I thought I did, but what I feel for Bea is way beyond that and I fear I may have just thrown that away. I can't believe I told her I was disappointed in her, that will hurt her so much."

"Bea told Elizabeth that you know, she said practically those words and the saddest thing, she actually thanked her for choosing Lucas because that meant she had been given the greatest gift of all, you."

He was close to tears now " Rosemary, where will I find her do you think, I need to stop her before she really runs."

"You think she will do that?"

"Yes, even though she promised she never would, we hadn't said anything but we talked about how hard it would be when the time came for her to leave in September. Rosemary, she was going to stay, make her home here. We agreed that when the time drew nearer if I wanted her to leave she would but if we both dared then she would stay. After doubting her and saying what I did I think she will run for home. I need to find her quickly because once she leaves Hope Valley I haven't a hope in hell of finding her."

"Well it is Sunday so she can't get far, the saloon first I think, see if she has been back there, maybe the livery, see if Hero is there, did you have a "special place"?

"No we didn't, she made the whole of Hope Valley special."

"Right, you check those places, if she isn't there then maybe have a look about but Nathan if you haven't found her by early afternoon then we need to organise a search party. I hate to think of her missing and out all night."

"Please God don't let it come to that Rosemary."

"Go, go find her Nathan, and bring her back, this is where she belongs."

He ran to the saloon and was greeted by Clara.

"Nathan, what is going on where has Bea gone ?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that?"

"Sorry Nathan, she paid her bill plus 2 weeks in advance and asked that if she isn't back I pack her things and someone from The White Star Line, I think that was it will collect them for her. Isn't that the shipping line?"

His legs felt like they would give way at any moment, he just nodded and left.

As he entered the livery his eyes were drawn immediately to the board "Welcome Home Constable''. He nearly choked on the lump in his throat, she must have written that on Saturday. He had a faint hope she would have left a message, not that one.

Where would she go, his whole world was crumbling in on him again, and this time he had no one to blame but himself for ever questioning her.