.
.
.
I see nothing.
I see nothing but an ocean of people.
(What a crowd)
A deafening one at that.
(Jeez, can someone even talk here?)
In pursue for an exit, countless times I've accidentally bumped into someone.
(What a pain)
Minutes of claustrophobic tension, all rewarded once.
(Finally)
Escaping the blistering horde, I now face the outside, with snow as its blanket
(It's already March, and the snow is still this thick?)
Even after the escape from the airport, it was still the same.
(What a packed place)
With many footsteps, their sound covered by the snow, but even still, voices, mutters, engines of the cars, many more, echoing in my ears.
(Loud and packed, two of my least favorite)
If such was the case, why was I here?
(...)
As I halted my thoughts, car engines approached, getting louder and louder.
My arm raised up high, as a form of signal.
(Is this the right way to do it? I've rarely went on one, and this isn't Japan anymore, what if ways are different here?)
Only seconds passed until a certain cab drew closer.
(Good, looks like it does work)
Silently, opening the door, I enter, with little luggage in hand.
The man, the driver then opens his mouth.
"Alright buddy, where do you wanna go?"
A man of average build, with a beard, with a look of no more than 15 years older than me.
Now, with an answer not yet given, the man finally looks towards me, slightly surprised, he then asks a question.
"Hey bud, seeing as we're right outside of an airport, are you new here? Can you speak English?"
A young man silent just outside of an airport, questioning whether I was a foreigner with no English skills.
"Yes, I can speak English"
The man, shocked, but immediately jolly was his face.
"Oh would you look at that, you can speak, for a second there I thought you were one of those tourists that couldn't speak English, no offense man"
"None taken"
I answered back.
"Well, where do you wanna go?"
"A hotel, a cheap one'"
I voiced.
"Roger!"
He answered with glee.
.
.
.
.
More than half an hour later, we've arrived.
"There you go, man, it's a pretty decent one"
With my eyes looking outside, I now saw the hotel, minimal in size, with no grandiose appearance, a 2 Star hotel at best.
(Enough for me to manage)
"Thanks"
I offer to the man.
With pay in hand, he receives.
"See ya, bud, have fun in Brooklyn"
And so, the taxi leaves.
.
.
.
Now in a room inside.
I made to look in my wallet.
(10 days at best, huh?)
Aware of the situation, thinking was the only action.
(No matter how much I hate to admit it, it seems it happens to everyone eventually)
Thinking of such, a quick grab of my phone and immediately, I started searching.
Job hunting.
The one thing I swore to never do, to work is to lose.
(But to starve is to die)
A belief I hold, working was a sign of submission to society, to work like everybody else, like a slave.
Proof were his parents.
8 hours, every single day, sometimes more even, at that point on, no amount of vacation can justify that much, if they were even allowed vacation in the first place.
What was the reward? A small amount enough to provide someone for a little while? Workers don't even have the leisure.
Zombies, as if they've turned into zombies, married to their jobs, no, chained actually.
To me, it wasn't worth it.
I'd call it:
(A bad deal)
An undeniable fact.
And the best way to get succeed, to rise up the ranks, was to butter up to their superiors?
(Pathetic)
And while they were slaving away, their children had to be their own parents.
(Repulsive)
And now, for the sake of survival, I had to do the thing I hated.
(My dreams of becoming a Stay-at-Home Husband has now gone down the drain)
So many vacant seats, so little I can actually sit on.
Scrolling and scrolling
(I can probably do this)
(How about this)
Many times when the search would seem to end.
Until it didn't.
Again and again and again and again.
(Rejected)
(I can't do that)
(Maybe? No)
Minutes turned hours, and looking turned scavenging, necessity turned desperation.
All of this continued and finally...
(Finally!)
(Lifeguard)
I used to swim, in middle school, alone, since I had nothing else to do.
.
.
.
.
2 days later
Interviewed, hired, and now on the job.
In the staff room, wearing the uniform.
(Let's not mess this up)
Prepared and focused.
Opening the door and now ready to work.
"You're fired"
"Huh?"
I spoke such with shock and worry.
"I'm sorry Mr. Hekiigaya-Hikaigaya?"
"It's Hikigaya"
"Ehem, anyway, I'm afraid we have to let you go"
Voicing my complaint, I ask:
"But why? I've been following the procedures properly"
"Oh it's not that"
He, the manager answers.
"You see, you're not really fit for our brand, this place is supposed to be fun, everyone's having a great time, smiles everywhere you know?"
(Oh, now I understand)
"It's just that, you don't really look the part"
(Full well, I know that full well)
Manager, leaning over.
"Between you and me, you gotta know by now, I mean I've never gotten that much complaints about an employee ever"
(Can't be helped)
"He looks scary"
"He seems like a criminal"
"He looks like he's been doing illegal stuff"
"I can't trust him with my kids"
(Really? That much?)
"It's a shame, but you know how it is"
He condoles me with a smile.
Back from the start.
Back in the room.
Scrolling and scrolling.
Even when something was found, it all went down to waste.
Baseball coach - Rejected
Part-time McDonalds worker - Fired
Hotel staff - Rejected
Janitor - Fired
Any occupation, no matter how easy, no matter how simple, it all ended the same.
Lying down, exhausted for no rewarding reason, defeated by oneself.
(She's right, I'm hopeless, I'm basically a NEET at this point)
A fool made of his own; such thoughts were in his mind.
Yielding to society was already his biggest shame, yet not even society allowed him to do such.
Cruel was the world, that was in his mind, and now, he felt as if it had gotten crueler.
He continued to crumble in bed, with nothing else to do, his phone became his distraction, from his thoughts.
Scrolling
Scrolling
Scrolling
Even the best of entertainment couldn't delight him.
Scrolling
Scrolling
Scrolling
Envy filled him, watching other people.
Scrolling
Scrolling
scrolling
Submission to failure, almost coming, when...
(Huh?)
Eyes targeting the phone, reading anything shown.
"Library clerk"
The perfect job.
A clerk at the library, required almost zero interactions with anyone, no eye contact needed, fortunate, loud people were forbidden from staying, amazing.
(Hey, I like books)
(It's not that far from here)
(Hey, I just found the perfect job)
Library clerk - Hired
(Do not mess this up, do not mess this up, do not mess this up)
Prepared, with everything at an all-time high.
Determination
Morale
Resolve
And desperation.
At this point on, only one objective was carved into me.
To not get unemployed.
(I never thought it'd come to the point of thinking that myself)
(It can't be helped)
Steel yourself.
On the library counter.
It wasn't lively at all.
(As expected)
But peace was always welcome, more than that, it was wanted.
5 hours in, and only 7 people have entered.
With only 4 still inside.
(Not a busy day, huh?)
But a problem, it was not.
A salary was still to be given, with this, surviving seemed plausible.
A day goes by.
Quiet.
Tranquil.
It was soothing.
With only a few coming, visitors seemed scarce.
No normies in the vicinity.
A week later.
Yet again, what a pleasant atmosphere.
Almost a grin escaped.
And an interruption came.
"Umm, hello?"
Opening my eyes, my attention peaked at the person in question.
A pretty girl.
"Yes, what can I help you?"
Was the only thing to exit my lips.
With straight blonde hair, glasses covering her eyes, pale skin, and looking further, bright blue eyes.
Our eyes almost meeting.
Now she answers.
"Can I ask where this specific book is?"
Looking at me, the girl was trembling slightly, a mixture of shyness, and fear over dead eyes.
As a professional, answering her question was important, above all else.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Umm, it's "The warring states period of Japan"
"ああ, 戦国時代か?" (Translation: Ahh, Sengoku Jidai ka?)
Noticing briefly, I spoke in Japanese, instinctively.
She however, has noticed.
"Excuse me, but did you perhaps speak in Japanese?"
Caught by surprise, only a half-baked reply was given.
"Oh? Ah yeah"
Hearing so, she continued asking.
"If that's the case, then are you perhaps Japanese?"
(She's quick to catch on huh?)
"Ah, yeah, I am"
Even under the glasses, I could see, her eyes started beaming.
"Wow! That's amazing, you're Japanese and you're fluent in English!?"
"Oh, it's not that amazing"
I don't deserve a compliment.
"Have you been living in America for a long time now?"
I refute.
"No, just recently"
"Awesome!"
Neglecting her compliments, quick I was on doing my job.
"Let's see, those types of books are in the History and literature section, number 420 K69, somewhere around there"
"Thank you very much"
She answers.
"No problem"
I do too.
3 hours later.
And she returns.
"Thank you for helping me find the books"
"Well, it is my job"
She giggles slightly.
"Well, anyway, I'm Lexie"
.
.
.
(Was I supposed to say my name?)
"Oh, sorry, maybe you don't want to tell me your name?"
With innocent eyes, to rob them of joy was almost a sin.
"Hikigaya Hachiman"
"I heard that the family name goes first in Japan, is that true?"
"Yeah, Hikigaya is my family name"
A subtle smile from her appears.
"Then, can I call you Hachiman?"
Eyes of sapphire, glittering in this quiet space, enhanced by the shades of evening, soft, glossy lips curved into a subtle smile.
My body, standing still, no motion.
With my own cheeks, tinged in crimson complexion.
Breaking free of such state.
"Uh, yeah, go ahead"
With glee, she replies.
"Then, nice to meet you, Hachiman"
As if shot, my body.
"Yeah, nice meeting you too"
A gentle smile, yet with a look at the clock.
She panics.
"Oh jeez, I still have to study for my entrance exams!"
"Well, it was fun meeting you, Hachiman"
"Yeah"
"Ok, see you tomorrow!"
"Eh, ah, yeah"
And so her shadow approaches the exit, leaving.
(Oh god, she's a dangerous girl)
She was quite cute.
(Why did I think that?)
.
.
.
.
The next few days continued.
"Hello Hachiman"
The same routine, with almost no change.
"Yeah, hi"
A paradise, and a blessing, being able to oversee such paradise.
"Do you have any plans for today?"
With a beautiful girl visiting every day, no sense of fear, or wariness over me.
"Not much"
The same age as me, about to finish high school, striving for college.
"Then, do you want to eat somewhere?"
Smart and sharp, she reminds me of someone.
"Uh, sure, but remember"
Shy yet cheerful, she reminds me of someone.
"Yeah, I know, you don't really have much of a budget, but it's okay, as long as it's with you, I'm fine with anywhere"
She was modest and polite.
"Hehe, don't say stuff like that" (I'll get my hopes up)
She might even be a Yamato Nadeshiko.
"If you don't want to, I can cook for you"
Quite a tease, this girl truly is dangerous, yet...
"Eh-ah, no thank you, I'll admit that you're good, but, you don't need to do that"
"Why not, if it's you, then I'll cook anything"
Blissful were the days that I almost called youth.
(No really, I might really get my hopes up)
That was until.
"You're fired"
"Huh?"
The words I never wanted to hear.
Disbelief was overcoming, shock and denial came to cope.
"But why!?"
Such a surprise made me raise my voice.
"I'm sorry, it's not your fault, it's because we've been getting less visitors lately that the library can't stay open"
(What!?)
He's right.
"What about the patrons!?"
He destroys my hope.
"Sorry, but 4-5 people isn't gonna cut it"
"Sorry"
He apologizes again.
"I understand"
Lifeless, I leave the room.
An amazing job, lost.
Leaving the building, I meet her.
"Hey Hachiman!"
She was short of breath.
I planned to speak.
"So, uh-
"I'm here to say goodbye!"
She cut me off.
"Huh?"
"Why?"
Spoken with concern, I let out.
My eyes, unintentionally moving away from her figure.
And from the sight seen, I voice almost with desperation.
"F-First let's find somewhere to talk"
In alignment, her eyes follow mine.
From 10 meters, a bench erected in our sights.
Silent was the trip, footsteps were the only thing heard.
And so, arrived at the bench, with only 2 feet of distance.
"So, why?"
The first to answer, was me
"Well, it's because, I passed, that's why...me and my parents are moving out"
She spoke with grief.
"Where?"
I ask with grief.
"In California"
(Across the country!?)
"I'm sorry"
She says.
"But"
"No it's okay"
"Huh?"
"Follow it, you should do it"
"Eh? You're n-not"
"Yeah, I'm gonna be stuck in here"
"Even still, we could-
"No, I don't think so"
(Why're you doing this?)
"Besides, it's only been a week, that's too fast"
(This isn't what you want)
"There's a lot to you though!"
"No, there's not much to me at all"
(Hey, stop that...)
"You're nice! You listen to me all the time, whenever I'm down, tired, angry, you listen"
"It's because I have nothing else to do"
"You help me out"
"Only because it's my job"
"And now, it isn't"
(She doesn't need to listen to this)
"This place wasn't really popular to begin with"
"Well, it can't be helped"
(You're wrong)
"Is it really because of that?"
"That's selfish, you're just hiding behind your reasons"
"You're a smart girl, you're wasting it on me"
"Is it really the case? Can't you rely on me?"
(No)
"No, a burden, that's just what I am"
"I'm a giant mess"
(No, you're trash)
"That's why, no one should touch a giant mess"
A face plainly shocked
"Is that so? Fine"
"It was fun while it lasted, meeting you"
(You're gonna regret this)
"Do you have regrets?"
"A few, but now I can focus on something different, I can strive for something"
Even without looking, her face melancholic and her eyes dripping the most subtle tears, I know they're there
"I won't forget"
(You should)
A kiss on the cheek was all that was left, and steps so fast I can't catch up.
"Goodbye! Hachiman!"
A final farewell.
And her shadow disappeared.
(I truly am the lowest of the low)
With dread, carrying my legs home, to bed.
I lost my job.
I hid from her, and instead of a fond farewell, it ended like that.
Despair, self-hate, regret.
If time travel proved its existence, oh how much I would've wish for it.
(I could probably last for 5 more days)
(Time to find another job)
Scrolling
Scrolling
All motivation was gone.
Scrolling
Scrolling
What purpose does searching pose?
Scrolling
Scrolling
Rejected, fired.
The eyes look a lot more dead that normal.
It all ended the same.
Scrolling
Scrolling
Scrolling
Scrolling
(Not for me)
Scrolling
(I can't do that)
Scrolling
(I'll probably get fired eventually)
Scrolli-
Suddenly, my fingers stopped.
Looking at what faced me, an application.
Requirements:
Must be a U.S. citizen
Must meet physical requirements
Must have a high school diploma
(Impossible, I never graduated)
About to ignore this application, just like the rest until:
(If you have no diploma, then it is possible to enlist by completing the General Educational Development Program (GED)
My attention, it was caught.
The night was spent.
Learning all that I could about this field of profession.
The ups and downs.
The pros and cons.
Everything.
And finally, what was made, a decision...
Apply.
So basically, 8man's in Brooklyn. The airport, the hotel, and the library are all real places.
Also, Lexie basically looks like Shiba Miyuki but blonde and with glasses, and voiced by Hanazawa Kana.
Kiryu