CHAPTER 33
He had no idea what he was doing really, he just needed to look and pray.
Leaving the livery he had Newton at a gallop in no time, he would head out to where they had found the fawn she may have gone that way. As he rode he prayed again to whoever "I have failed, I have let her down, I have let you down, you sent me the most precious of gifts, and I have failed. Please show me where she is please."
After about an hour and a half, he realised he was wasting his time. She had Hero and she could ride as well as he could, if not better, she would be miles ahead no matter which way she had gone.
He turned and headed back to town feeling totally broken. His only hope was she would come back, please make her come home.
He let Rosemary know and within an hour the whole of Hope Valley was feeling the loss.
He needed to do one thing. He knocked on the door and Elizabeth answered almost immediately as if she had been waiting for him.
"Nathan come in, this is a surprise."
"I am not stopping,'' he said " I called to say I heard the truth today, from two sources, why you lied I will never know. You need to know that there is never going to be a future for us, I do realise that I never loved. I know that now, I think I had a lucky escape. I wish you all the best Elizabeth but from this moment kindly stay out of my life."
He turned and walked into his own house, his house so lovingly cleaned by his princess, who he had let down so badly. Some knight in shining armour he proved to be.
The next day as he went about his duties, in a daze really, everyone was asking if there was any news, the whole of Hope Valley was praying she would come back, that she was safe somewhere at least.
His Mum and Allie were due in around 3 pm he would at least have to try and be happy, was that even possible.
He was happy to see them, it just wasn't as he planned.
As soon as they walked into the house his Mum joked asking who he had paid to clean, he just smiled, "Bea wanted to do it Mum while I was away, her parents are both dead but she has a wonderful housekeeper who has known her all her life, Ethel she is called. When she had cleaned everywhere she joked it would pass Ethel's standards so she hoped it would pass yours."
His Mum saw the pain in his eyes, something was not right. After dinner Allie asked if she could visit Opal for just an hour, she was so excited at seeing her old friends again.
"As long as it's just an hour kiddo, you can have a proper catch-up tomorrow."
"Nathan, come and sit my lad and tell me what is going on here. Something has happened and don't try fobbing me off, I know when you are lying."
As she listened she could feel the love he felt for this woman, it poured out of him and she knew a love that showed itself like that was a rare thing.
"Nathan I am sorry son but I do think you have made a mistake, you have been stupid, I can understand why to a degree, you really do love her don't you?"
"Mum I didn't know it was possible to feel the way she makes me feel, but I have to trust now that her love for me will bring her home, or someone shows me where she is so I can find her and ask her to forgive me."
She took hold of his hands, he may be this big strapping man but he would always be her little boy. I will pray son and with God's help, we will find her.