CHAPTER 34

Bea had ridden out past where they had found the fawn but she hadn't stopped. She knew once Nathan had time to think he would come looking for her, but she needed time alone.

The last few days she had felt drained, today she felt almost broken.

Every couple of years or so she just had to hide away, to rest, her bones became tired of carrying everyone else's problems, her lungs grew tired of breathing life back into other people, she needed to shift all her energy inwards, to reunite with peace. At home, everyone called it her "Hermit" stage. From being a child it had happened and they accepted it, they knew she needed space and would let her hideaway but were always aware of where she was.

So much had happened over the last year, things she hadn't really processed. She had coped with them but not really dealt with them. If she was to make the biggest decision of her life, which she must within the next couple of weeks, then she needed peace, quiet, and time alone, she needed to become a Hermit for a while.

After a while, she had slowed her pace, just kept riding not really aware of where she was until a voice spoke,

"Miss Bea, what on earth are you doing out here on your own at this time of the day?"

She was surprised to see it was Colin Farley.

"What time is it Colin? I was miles away and totally unaware."

"Half 7 going on 8 I reckon."

Colin was no fool and could see she had been crying, her eyes were red and looked sore.

"Are you OK Bea?" he asked as he took hold of Hero's halter.

"I won't lie, Colin, I have had better days. I had no idea where I was heading just away from Hope Valley for now."

"Does Constable Grant know, don't answer that as I am sure if he did you would not be here and on your own?"

She smiled and the tears came again.

"Like that, I see, well I am not letting you go any further tonight, and you won't make it back to Hope Valley before midnight. My cabin is nowhere near finished but come with me, let me get you something to warm you up. I will see to your friend here and then you can tell me what happened if you want to."

Bea was only too happy to dismount, her leg was really starting to ache now and she would have to be careful.

While she drank the most welcome cup of steaming hot coffee Colin saw to Hero. She could hear him talking.

"Have you worked with horses, Colin?"

"I have, I am a blacksmith by trade, started life as a stable lad many years ago. How did you know?"

"You have the gift Colin," she said smiling.

He poured himself a coffee and topped hers up." Do you want to tell me what happened today?"

Bea didn't go into great detail, that conversation was between her and Nathan only but the story was told. He listened intently. He had seen the connection between Bea and Nathan last night and like everyone else could feel it. As she spoke now he could feel her pain.

"Can I ask you what may seem like a silly question Bea"? She smiled, "That is normally my line Colin." He laughed.

"Do you know what an Old Soul is?"

A sense of warmth spread through her whole body. "I do Colin, do you?"

"Bea, you are what we back home would call an Old Soul aren't you?"

"I have been called that many times. To me I am just me, I have always been this way, have known no other. I was about 9 or 10 before I realised I was different, that not everyone saw or felt things as I do. Not many here, if any, would know what it meant. How are you aware ?"

"I am originally from Ireland Bea, folklore and tales of the "special" people are part of our upbringing. In the village where I grew up, we had a man who was known as you are. He was the wisest, warmest person I have ever met, people flocked to him the way they do to you. I have never forgotten him and later in life, I decided to learn what I could about these "special ones''. What they are said to be and why."

"When I met you on Saturday I felt the same way around you as I did him all those years ago. I could see the effect you had on everyone, how you radiate all that joy, love, laughter and I just knew. Does anyone here actually know, what about Nathan?"

"Colin I doubt anyone here has ever heard the term, I never use it, I don't see myself that way. It is others like yourself that see it. I have been called unique, special, one of a kind all my life but very few know me as an Old Soul, well outside of the village I am from. There they all know, they have since I was a child."

"Nathan knows people have called me these things and that I sometimes see things I can't explain, he doesn't question that."

"So you do have the gift?"

"Colin, whatever you have learned from your research I can tell you I have it all. This is who I am. I didn't ask to be born this way, I don't tell anyone I am and, outside of home you are the first person to actually recognise it."

"Well please know I do understand more than most. This need to be on your own, is this because you are "worn" as they say?"

What a relief it was to have met someone who actually understood her. Who she felt she could tell, at home she would have felt stronger, here she felt alone.

"Colin I am so weary, that is why the happenings of today have affected me so much I think. A lot has happened to me this last year, finding Nathan truly is the best thing ever, but today when he said what he did it hurt so much, it hurt here, " she held her hand to the bottom of her ribs. It hurt this soul Colin, this old soul has never felt pain like it. I just need to hide away, to see no one, have no distraction, I need time for this old soul to heal if that makes sense.``

"It does, let me help you. Do you know anywhere to go?"

"I think I do Colin but will you really help me?"

"Any way I can."

"Then tomorrow if I give you some money would you go into town and get me some supplies. I won't need much as I am quite capable of living off the land. I will need a good hunting knife but Ned has some I have seen. A gun would have been useful but I can manage without."

"If you would do that for me then I am going to head up into the mountains. Nathan asked me not to go up there alone, that is another promise I will break, if I can survive the minus temperatures in the Ben's of Scotland then I can manage up there. I will find one of the hunter's cabins and hideaway there for a while. I have 2 weeks then I will have to see where I am."

"Then we have a plan, tomorrow you will rest here then on Tuesday I will head out really early, if we are going to avoid Nathan we need to move fast, he has taken to riding this way on a Wednesday, we need you away by then, and Bea no promise will be broken as I will take you up there, once I see you are safe then I will return, now get some rest, don't worry tonight I will be your guardian."

…...

Colin had made an early start and had reached the store just after Ned opened. He purchased everything on the list plus a couple of other little bits he thought might be useful. Ned hadn't questioned his purchases, even the beautiful knife, they were all things a new settler would need.

He was just loading the last of the items when he saw Nathan leaving the jail with a young girl. That must be his niece.

On the ride into town, he had debated with himself as to if he should say something to Nathan, just set his mind at ease. There was no way he would give Bea's plan up but he also knew how worried Nathan must be, how he must be feeling.

He didn't have to make the first move, Nathan saw him.

"Colin, wait, have you got a minute? No doubt you will have heard about Bea, it is the topic of conversation again today."

"Only that she has gone away for a few days, why do you ask?"

"Because I have no idea where she went, she vanished on Sunday. She took Hero and I just wondered if by any chance she had passed your way if you saw her."

"Nathan I won't lie, I did see her. I know where she was heading and please know she is safe. She is in desperate need of solitude, complete solitude. I promised I would not give her destination away and that is a promise I will keep."

"Nathan felt relieved that she was at least safe but frustrated, it was obvious Colin was going to say no more."

"Nathan, you do know how special Bea is, that she is one of a kind?"

This question riled Nathan a bit, "I do Colin and I take it you have feelings for her too"

"Now Nathan that is a bit below the belt. My feelings for her, as you put it, are no different than anyone else here in Hope Valley. Everyone can see what you feel for her and that is different. I however know why she has the effect she does on everyone, why she is the way she is. That is the difference."

"Colin, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Nathan you have a library over there, go and have a look, see if there are any books about folklore or old religions and beliefs, look up Old Souls. You will discover why your beautiful lady is the way she is, and it may give you an insight into why she needs time on her own."

"Now if you will excuse me I need to get back as I have work to do. She is safe Nathan and for now, that is all that matters.