Chapter 6

A couple months later

Dean watched his brother kiss Sarah and smiled. After mourning Jess for so long and blaming himself for her death, it looked like Sam was finally ready to let a girl into his heart again. Dean couldn't think of a girl who was more Sam's equal. Sarah was smart, brave, independent and spunky, and she made Sam happy.

When Sam had returned to the car, Dean turned the key in the ignition and his Impala roared to life. As he drove, his thoughts wandered to Riley. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Riley had called several times since he'd left Colorado Springs, but each time he'd let the phone ring until his voicemail picked up the call. As much as he missed her, he knew he could never drag her into his tumultuous life. So he ignored her calls and worry-filled voicemail messages, rationalizing that in the long run it was better for her if he just disappeared from her life. She would forget about him eventually, though he wasn't sure he'd ever forget her.

Hooking up with other girls hadn't erased the memories of Riley from his mind. The policewoman in Chicago and the girl from the bar the other night had been smokin' hot and the sex had been good, but each time he ended up feeling empty and guilty. He missed the feel of Riley's body beside him, trustingly nestled against him as she slept. One night stands couldn't replace the contentment he'd felt sleeping beside her.

He sighed, flipped open his phone and accessed his saved voicemail messages. Riley's last message had come three weeks ago.

Dean, it's Riley.

Look, I don't know if you're not returning my calls because something happened to you or because you're just a crappy friend and you don't want to have anything to do with me… so… I won't call you again. Just know that I'll be worrying about you and praying for you. So take care of yourself Dean Winchester. Bye.

Dean flipped the phone closed and sighed heavily. Sam tossed a quizzical look in his older brother's direction.

"Where we headed, Dean?"

"Colorado," Dean replied resolutely.

"Well I'm glad you've finally pulled your head out of your ass," Sam said with a smug smile.

"Shut up and get out the map, will ya?" Dean grumbled.

It was nearly 7am when Sam exited I-25 into Colorado Springs.

"Isn't it too early to show up at her door?" Sam asked.

"Nope, at this hour she'll be at the Training Center with her team."

Dean directed Sam to the Olympic Complex and Sam parked outside the gym.

"Just drop me here, Sammy. I'll call you later," Dean said as he got out of the car.

"Ok. Good luck Dean."

"Thanks, I'm gonna need it," Dean said apprehensively.

Dean walked through the doors that said "Authorized Personnel Only" and into the building and entered the hallway that ran between the Strength and Conditioning gym and the locker rooms. Large windows looked into the gym so guided tour groups could catch a glimpse of their heroes in action. Dean peeked in and his heartbeat quickened when he saw Riley. She stood with a couple of other athletes at the far end of the gym wearing navy blue shorts and a sleeveless grey t-shirt that was wet with sweat around the collar. Her cheeks were flushed and tendrils of damp hair had escaped her ponytail and curled around her face. One by one her teammates were running through agility drills sprinting to one cone, then side-shuffling to another cone before sprinting to yet another cone, all the way down the center isle of the gym and then back to the starting point. Then it was Riley's turn and he watched transfixed as she sped through the drill, a look of concentration on her face. She was so absorbed in the drills she never saw him watching her from the other side of the glass.

Worry that a security guard would come along prompted Dean to leave the building and wait for Riley on a bench outside. Judo athletes began to trickle out of the building 45 minutes later. A knot had formed in Dean's gut and it took every ounce of courage he had to stay and wait for Riley to come out. A moment later the door swung open again and out walked Riley, her eyes down as she rifled through the outer pocket of her backpack. Dean stood up quickly.

"Hey Riley," he said shyly.

Riley stopped in her tracks and her eyes met his.

"Dean!" she exclaimed as shock and relief played across her features.

Riley dropped her bag to the ground, covered the distance between them in three quick steps and threw her arms around him. Dean quickly returned her embrace as relief washed over him. Suddenly, she pulled back and shoved hard against his chest, almost knocking him to the ground.

"How dare you just disappear for almost three months and then show up out of the blue! Do you know how worried I've been?" she yelled.

"I know," Dean said quietly, "I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"The right thing? Are you kidding me?" Riley roared, shoving again angrily. "How is vanishing and not letting me know you're ok the 'right thing?' I was afraid you were hurt or dead because why else wouldn't you call me back? I mean," she sputtered, "who does that?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you Riley," Dean told her. "I just figured you'd be better off without me in your life."

"Well, gee thanks for just making a unilateral decision and not letting me have any say in the matter," she said angrily. "Jeez, why are you even here then?"

"Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about you!" he said, his voice choked with emotion. "Look, I want to tell you everything. Please Riley, give me a chance to explain. Can we go someplace and talk?"

Riley closed her eyes, sighed and ran her hands through her damp hair before looking at him again.

"Fine," she said curtly. "Your car or mine?"

"Yours, Sammy has mine," Dean replied.

Riley nodded, grabbed her bag and walked toward the parking lot, her shoulders stiff with anger. Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and followed her to her car.

Riley sat beside Dean on the park bench quietly listening as Dean told her the truth about who he was and what he did. The story he weaved could have been the plot of a blockbuster horror film but the pain in his eyes and the emotion in his voice convinced Riley of his sincerity.

"I know all this sounds crazy as hell and I wouldn't blame you if you got up and ran away right now," he finished.

His eyes were fixed on the lake in front of him, as they had been the whole time he told his story. He was afraid to look at Riley and see the fear and skepticism in her eyes that he'd seen in Cassie's. But then he felt her hand on his knee.

"I'm still here Dean," Riley said softly. "You're right, it does sound crazy, but I believe you."

"You do?" he asked raising incredulous eyes to meet hers.

"Yeah," she replied thoughtfully. "I mean, I believe in supernatural things when it comes to God and Jesus and the stories in the Bible, and I believe that there's a constant battle between God and Satan and good and evil so I guess it makes sense that demons and other scary stuff really does exist. I guess it would be arrogant to believe in the existence of all the good miraculous things and ignore the other end of the spectrum."

Dean's relief was palpable and he pulled Riley into a grateful hug.

"Thank you for believing me," he whispered.

"Thank you for finally trusting me with the truth," she replied hugging him back.

Riley pulled back and Dean reluctantly released her from the embrace.

"Want to walk around the lake?" she asked.

"Sure," he agreed.

Riley remained quiet as they walked, her expression pensive. Understanding how much she had to think about considering the knowledge he'd just dropped on her, Dean didn't break the silence. Instead, he walked quietly beside her, waiting for her to speak first.

"Dean, how often do you Winchesters tell people about what you do?" she asked awhile later.

"Almost never," he answered slowly. "I mean, people we've helped see it first-hand but as far as telling people in our lives…" he trailed off.

"Sam never told Jess, did he?"

"No."

"Have you ever told anyone?"

"Once—and it didn't go well."

"Who did you tell?"

"Her name is Cassie. We dated and I really fell for her—which was a first for me. Hiding who I am from people is second nature to me but for some reason I didn't want to lie to her so one night I told her everything."

"What happened?"

"She freaked out. She thought I was crazy and she dumped me." Dean was quiet for a moment before he continued. "She called me about a couple years later when her father was killed under some decidedly supernatural circumstances and after coming face to face with a vengeful spirit she had no choice but to believe me."

"So did you get back together?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, for like a day. I was willing to try to make things work and I thought she was too… but then she shut me down again." Dean sighed. "I don't know if it was her issues or mine that she couldn't deal with but obviously we weren't meant to be."

"So why did you tell me?" Riley asked uncertainly.

Dean stopped and turned Riley to face him, taking her hands in his.

"I found myself caring about you way more than I ever meant to but I knew there couldn't be anything between us as long as I was lying to you. But because of how things went down when I told Cassie, I didn't want to go through that again so I figured it was best to just walk away and forget about you—only, I couldn't."

"I'm glad you came back Dean. I get how hard it must have been for you to tell me, but I'm really glad you did," Riley said softly.

Dean cupped her face with his hands and brought his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly. Lost in the sensations, Riley kissed him back. The hard muscles of his chest beneath her hands were a stark contrast to the gentle softness of his lips on hers.

Riley abruptly ended the kiss, pulling away and backing a few steps away from him. Dean's heart sank at the look of regret on her face.

"I can't do this Dean," she whispered, "I'm sorry. I care about you, but—"

"Just not in 'that' way?" he asked warily.

"No Dean. It's because I do care about you in 'that' way that I can't do this."

"Huh? I'm officially lost."

"You don't believe in God," Riley said sadly, "and my faith is the most important thing in my life."

"I'm ok with that," Dean told her. "I totally respect your beliefs."

"But Dean, I can't be with someone who just respects my beliefs—I need someone who shares them. I never thought I'd care this much about someone who didn't share my faith but I do. I care about you Dean."

"Then be with me. We can make it work," Dean pleaded.

"We could try but in the end I'd have to chose between you and my faith… and it would end up breaking both our hearts because my faith would win." Tears rolled down her cheeks and her voice cracked as she spoke. "I want you in my life Dean but I can't be anything more than friends with you."

"And what if I can't just be friends with you?" he asked.

"Then I'll have to walk away," Riley whispered, her lower lip quivering. "It'll break my heart but it will heal."

"If all you see for us in the end is heartbreak, isn't it better to be together and find some happiness before that time comes than to just walk away now?" Dean argued.

"No, because I know I can survive this, but if I really fall for you… it could break my heart beyond repair."

Dean took deep breaths as conflicting emotions churned inside him. He couldn't believe this was happening. He'd met a woman he truly cared about and who cared about him and she hadn't run when he'd told her who he really was, and yet he couldn't be with her? He closed his eyes, shook his head and blew out a shaky sigh before turning to her.

"Besides Sammy and my dad, I don't have anyone I'm close to," he said slowly. "It's the unfortunate reality of the path my life has taken. It gets real lonely when I let myself think about how cut off I am from the real world. At this point, you know more about who I am than most of the people I've ever known and I don't want to lose that connection I have with you. So if all you can offer is friendship, then I'll take it because I want you in my life too."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Riley said, relief clear in her voice, as she moved closer and pulled him into a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around Riley and rested his chin on the top of her head. He was grateful for her friendship but he knew it would be hard to suppress his feelings for her. He hoped in time they would fade.

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