CHAPTER 42

Nathan did feel so much better for that couple of hours of sleep, she had been right.

Having retrieved the last jug of elderflower saft from the stream they headed back up to the cabin and Bea checked the rabbit stew that was warming on the fire. It did smell good, even she admitted that.

She came and sat beside him resting her head on his shoulder. "I could just stay here like this, I have everything I will ever need right here at this moment."

"You and I both, we will try and get back up here as often as we can, even if it's just overnight. Work prevents me really, Bea I need to ask you something that did cross my mind. " I told Elizabeth that if she wanted me to I would leave the Mounties for her, I know it can be a dangerous job, and her having lost Jack I thought it might be a factor."

Bea could see he was struggling even recalling the memory.

"I would do the same for you, Bea, if it will cause you worry then I will leave."

"Do you want to leave?"

"Not at the moment, I have always seen it as a calling rather than just a job. In the future, who knows, my feelings may change. I am not sure how I would cope with being sent on long missions if I was ordered to, those few days the other week were bad enough. I don't know what else I would do in all honesty."

"Cowboy? "

"I am going to regret telling you that I just know it."

"I know we are joking but Nathan, if you are happy then I am. Remember though that if you really would like to leave and do whatever there is nothing stopping you."

"So the red serge is fine with you?"

"It is but Nathan know this, it isn't the red serge I love, it is the man who wears it."

He lifted her head and cupping her face he kissed her, with every minute they shared he loved her more.

Having eaten dinner and tidied away they saw to the boys.

The sun was going down and while it never got totally dark at this time of year you could tell it was going to be a beautiful night.

"Shall we just sit here and watch for the stars, I think the grass is dry."

"Let me go and get a blanket so we can put that down just in case."

He laid the blanket down and they sat hand in hand waiting and watching. Slowly as the light faded the stars did begin to appear.

Bea moved and went to lay down "Much better view like this," she said as she rested her

head on his knees.

As they watched a really bright light appeared and then shot across the sky, "Oh Nathan a shooter, make a wish."

Closing her eyes she made hers, he made one too. He hadn't closed his eyes though, he was just watching her. Bending over her, while her eyes were closed he kissed her.

"Well my wish was granted quickly" she reached up and kissed him back.

Lifting her head he slipped down and laid beside her, he stretched out his arm and she nestled into his shoulder.

"Did you make a wish?"

"I did and I will let you know if it comes true very soon I hope, and don't look at me like that as I won't tell you what it was. If it comes true then I will."

"Pffft OK then "

"Pfftt is it " he laughed and turning he kissed her again. The look that passed between them said it all.

Suddenly he moved and sat up, then getting to his feet he said " I just need to do something Bea," and headed back up to the cabin.

He seemed to have been gone ages, so gathering the blanket she followed him up.

There he was sitting on the steps, his head in his hands.

"Nathan what happened there, what's wrong."

"Bea I am sorry, but I had to leave you there, just for a few minutes, I was on the verge of doing something I may have regretted."

She pulled him to his feet and slipped her arms around his waist.

"In that case, I am going to say something I hope I don't regret, something I hope does not upset you or make you think less of me. This last year above all others has made me realise something Nathan. How precious life is, how no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. This is it, this is our life, we do things now or we may not get a chance."

"That is so true, but why would that upset me?"

"Because that is the reason I am going to say this and hope to whoever I am right ..I have something I really want to give you, something I have saved, the one part of me that I know is mine and mine alone. I have very little I feel is truly mine, even thoughts. But this is mine, it was mine to save and give to the one I know I truly love and loves me back, the one I know it belongs to.

It is something I can share with just one person. That person is you, Nathan, I choose to give that piece of me to you, Down there, here now I need you, I need and want you as much as you do me. In fact, I have never wanted anyone as much as I do …..."

They kissed with such passion, he swept her off her feet and carried her inside, part of his wish had also come true.

They lay, their bodies wrapped around each other, neither able to speak at first. Nathan moved and turned on his side. He propped himself up with the pillows all the time his other hand resting on her stomach.

"Bea thank you for the most precious gift I have ever been given. Every morning I wake and think I couldn't love you more and then I am proved so wrong. Thank you for waiting for me."

He kissed her so gently, "are you OK, I haven't hurt you have I?"

She just smiled the biggest smile.

"Seriously, you felt that too?"

"Oh I did Nathan and that is why I for once am lost for words."

Now he laughed. Bea turned and as she did he caught sight of the scar that ran up the back of her leg. His stomach turned, to actually see it brought home the thought of what his princess had actually been through.

She quickly turned back, "I am sorry, I know it's ugly, I will try and hide it."

He rolled her back over and kissed her lightly. "Don't you ever, do you hear me."

He ran his finger up the length of it, from just behind her knee to the cheek of her bottom. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pain she must have endured or the strength it had taken her, was still taking her, to recover.

"Dr. Wilson told me many times how lucky I was. If I stepped forward just one more inch I would be dead now, the spike would have gone through my leg rather than up it."

He didn't want to think about that one. "Really Bea we should look at it in a positive way, if you think about it if this had never happened as traumatic as it was, if you hadn't had the strength you had Princess then we wouldn't be here laid together like this."

Running his finger up the scar again he said "it will never be ugly. "

"Well if that is the price I was expected to pay for this, then it was worth it." Kissing his chest and pulling him in close she said " I love you Nathan, this is our life now and our time, we have been gifted something very special and nothing is ever going to break us."

" I love you too and will until the day I die, you are right this is our time and we must never ever take for granted the gift we have been given, or the pain it caused to get here.

They fell asleep in each other's arms both offering up secret prayers to whoever sent them to each other.