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It was bountiful, as far as the eyes could see, whether they were grounded to our feet or fluttering in the wind, they were everywhere, a light color, similar to snow, yet opposite, as this beige sand was fried in the sun.
When the sun reached its zenith, then, the ground, the dust, reflected by the light, shined like crystals...no, that wasn't true, perhaps it was merely an illusion, as the sun tormented my very being.
This scorching wave, and from it, the hot air wafted over my face. It dressed my skin, resulting in sweat that dripped down to my neck.
The only sight that distinguished itself were the dead bushes that randomly sprouted as we passed, and the distant, tall mountains that sandwiched us in this field.
Loud, the only sound I heard were the engines, like wild beasts, roaring through this vast, empty field.
(Ah...so...hot)
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Minutes passed, hours passed, and so, we reached our relief.
From my view through the scope, there, surrounded by fences, heavily defended, as if none could get in, or out. Artillery and these beastly vehicles numbering by the hundreds.
"We're here!"
Shouted loudly by the one beside me, as we closed the distance, the got louder, the sound of work.
Men all around moved in unison, with movements that were efficient and looked strong. With some that repaired the Humvees, some sparred with each other, and others conversed with one another.
As we left the car, we were greeted 'warmly'.
"What, you maggots already got back?"
The man in front of us said so to us as we were welcomed to our camp, a middle aged man, with a seemingly short stature, at least compared to us.
"Yes sir"
And another man from behind went up front to discuss with him, our superior who went with us, a tall man, with a powerful presence.
"Sergeant, report"
"Yes sir"
Before their talk could continue, the sergeant looked to us and said:
"All of you, get to your tents"
With a commanding voice, we merely obeyed.
Steadily walking, with our equipment, as if we carried rocks on us, but before long, we were called out by those around us.
"Oh, the FNGs are here!"
"Welcome back! FNGs!"
"How was it? FNGs?"
"Did you shit yourselves? FNGs?"
The men we considered our elders, and as though it was tradition, all of them snickered as we trekked to our tents.
What stood in front of us was a rather big tent, capable of housing dozens. Though, a tent was still a tent, it could've fallen over at any point, and it simply answered the problem of not having a roof. Even so, the amount of weapons and men that filled this tent offered us a sense of comfort.
As we entered, our noses were flooded with the smell of...army. To define it was near impossible, with different odors having already mixed with each other. Stinky socks, smelly clothes, rancid underwear, regardless, it was unavoidable, as it already became commonplace.
Men all around, whether half naked or sleeping, awake and reading, by this point, it was a common sight.
As we went to our spots, immediately, we unloaded the hefty bags that we sported, almost making a heavy thud, then we laid down for rest.
And like a procedure, I stripped my suit off. From the boots that stepped on nothing but sand, the socks that made my feet itch, the bulky armor that weighed me down, and this uniform that caused me to sweat.
(Fuuuuhhhhhh)
All the unrest dissipated, I instantly felt relief, with me lying down, to take a nap.
...
...
"Is he asleep?"
"Don't know"
"Wanna give him a poke?"
At this time, it suddenly became quiet, even if the rowdy outside was still busy, this time, between the talking here, then it went silent.
"Okey dokey, let's give him a pokey"
One of them voiced. With the lack of a refusal, or a response, I was unsure of what was to come. Then, I heard whispers, thus, I concluded that they we're colluding with something, perhaps a scheme? Still, even if I heard their scheme, I had no motivation to do anything, only to sleep.
But, it seems even that is another a luxury.
*Poke*
*Poke*
This sensation, at the back something, cold and hard poked me incessantly, and from my senses alone, I felt the presence of the culprit right behind my back.
"Hey, dude, you awake?"
They quietly said, yet the humor in their tone was obvious to everyone, and in intervals, they continued doing their scheme.
*Poke*
*Poke*
Over the course of the week, this had become routine. Waking up to do procedure after procedure, though from time to time, we had nothing to do besides entertain ourselves, howbeit, at the end of the day, nothing wild came, though I think that's for the better.
*Poke*
*Poke*
And if I could continue this, it would only benefit me in the long run. I figured that was the case, this somewhat harsh day to day was something I could manage, that's not wrong, but, at the end of the day...what am I doing?
(This is all pretentious, in a way. As if it could fix anything at all. It won't, but still...)
"Hey, dipshit, your safety's not on"
One of them nonchalantly spouted.
I opened my eyes instantly, and right away, I speedily rolled away to make distance between what poked me, as I did, I then met the eyes of those once behind me.
"Damn, you could've killed him"
My eyes then went straight to the one holding the gun. Logan, I stared at him as my eyes got sharper.
"Oh, shit...sorry dude"
He spoke so apologetically, all while scratching his head. As though this was a common mistake, but it wasn't.
"Jesus, boot almost got lit up before them talibans got'em"
A superior joked as he passed us, be that as it may, this joke could've also caused unnecessary casualties, most of all, Logan, he was an idiot, nevertheless, I decided to brush it off as nothing to fret about.
His stupidity is a pain, but at the end of the day, it was just for "shits and giggles", as they liked to call it.
I returned to lay down once more, and take my rest.
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"Dude, I said I was sorry!"
He pleaded plainly, with that sense of trying to get on my good side. It was a waste.
Though, I did listen to him, through this bustling ocean of men that surrounded us, with everyone on the clock as they received their own meal. They chewed as they chatted, it was rather uncouth, though also efficient.
Still, even with his apology, I simply continued dining, it was surprisingly edible, though it didn't really matter since it was free either way.
"He's still pissed?"
From the sides, three more came, and slowly, they laid their trays to the table, with the three of them snickering, they joined us, and our talk.
"I said already said sorry, what more do you want?"
"Forget it"
I laxly answered him, it was irresponsible, yet not out of any malice, and so, I chose to simply ignore it all, since at the moment, I had lunch to concern myself with.
"Looks like he doesn't care"
Chandler's words were filled with sarcasm, and the others shared the same thought from the looks of it. It agitated Logan slightly, but then his expression changed.
"Ok, fine, I already apologized, and it looks like he doesn't care anymore, now, first order of business boys"
As if everything else was unimportant, Logan's tone created a feeling of urgency, as he looked to the four of us after his serious announcement.
"I got ears in a different platoon. I heard an LCpl's got a stash"
Immediately, the attention of the other three was caught, and they fixed their eyes onto Logan.
"Are you sure?"
Sean asked, as if any and all false whisper was to be discerned, and, with confidence, Logan looked to him and firmly replied:
"Hell yeah, bud. My guy told me that the guy even has digital"
He expressed with glee, as he raised his hand slightly, he shot a straight thumbs up. With this, the attention of the three was completely on him, and they listened carefully.
"DVD, HDD, USB, mags, you name it, he's got it"
Then, the other three looked at him with awe and reverence, as if they were enlightened with sacred knowledge. Though, there wasn't anything sacred about it.
"The thing is...he won't share"
Suddenly, they looked down with grief, and the faces that were once jolly, turned melancholy.
"But I have a plan"
Logan smirked as he stared at us all, and in the blink of an eye, those three displayed hopeful faces.
"So the guys in his platoon said he's willing to share some, if we offered anything good"
"What can we give him?"
Marcus asked innocently, yet with an air of seriousness surrounding it, though, I couldn't comprehend why it needed to be said in such a tone.
"Ok, they said that for one mag we give him five MREs"
"What? Bullshit!"
Sean blurted in response to the proposed trade.
"I could just ask my guys in Chicago to send me something better!"
(Ah, yes, the mail, it's a smart move, but still, knowing Logan, he would definitely say something like-)
"That's gonna take too long y'know? It'll be what? 2? 3 weeks before a package gets here? A few MREs wouldn't be much of a loss"
(Somehow, he's smart when it comes to this)
It seemed to have had the desired effect as Sean appeared less agitated and started to listen to him again.
"I'm gonna be real with you guys"
Following his tone, his face and demeanor became solemn, as if his next words were to be evaluated and handled with the utmost professionalism.
"Mags aren't gonna cut it anymore. I want some real action"
And...he claimed something stupid.
"For a USB of the good stuff, they said he wants 9 MREs"
The others looked horrified by the numbers, even if I had to admit, that was quite the demand.
It was a rather big decision, as resources were already dry and continued to get drier.
Yet still, it seems they ignored rationality, and one by one, their hands were placed on top of Logan's shoulder.
"We're with you man"
"Let's get the good stuff"
"Me too, I wanna see me some Alexis Texas"
As if their bond as comrades hadn't tightened enough, at this very moment, their bonds as men seemed to have turned solid.
The four, huddled with each other, most likely to discuss their strategy, while I continued with my meal.
(That's a waste of supplies, and to just give them to someone like that so rashly, that's the epitome of the stupidity)
(And also, what's with them being so open about this? They make it sound as if it's a big deal, obviously it's not, there's no reason in making this a priority at all)
(Being controlled so much by this, these idiots...I won't pretend that I'm clean, but, even I had self-discipline, and there's no way I'd be so open to this as they are, naturally, I kept mine hidden well...wait...)
I hurriedly tried to recall, as this seemed to be a priority to think about, thinking back to more than a year, and so, I racked my brain for the confirmation, but...
(It's still there, I never threw it out right? Then...no...it can't be...don't tell me...no...it is still there...this is bad...what do I do!?)
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It seemed I had made a mistake by not doing something about it. Even through my sleep, after having recalled this foolish blunder, I was plaguing myself with regret.
(You idiot!)
Even as I rested, I squirmed lightly as I racked my brain.
(What am I gonna do now!?)
(They're gonna find it!)
(This is what you get! You stupid retard!)
(Ahhh! If Komachi finds it, what am I gonna say!?)
("Ah, Komachi, this is natural, I'm a boy after all" No!)
(Anything but that!)
(Wait...I can just not go back...yeah, let's do that)
(Afterall...it's already-)
"Yo, Hachiman"
My lonesome talk came to a halt, whilst I looked to my shoulders, and I saw Logan, looking at me with a gallant smirk on his face.
"We're about to do the trade, wanna come with?"
From behind him, I saw the others with similar expressions.
"No need"
I replied with a flat "no", as, clearly, I was not interested.
"Ok, sure"
It seemed to have made the space slightly sour, still, it changed nothing as they now moved to exit the tent, and as their figures slowly shrank, I was made to think:
(I really can't associate myself in that light, they seem to be really gung-ho about that stash, but why should they? Coworkers doing these kinds of things with each other...I see no end goal, no benefits to this at all, shouldn't they just...do it by themselves?)
(Doing these kinds of things with others is...it just doesn't click)
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This place, for all intents and purposes, was boring, to say that this was an enjoyable place was ignorant. Men who flaunted their masculinity, or did the exact opposite by satire, exposing their desires and secrets to one another, in an attempt to have a close bond with one another, in this place, such acts were done, mostly out of boredom, but I didn't partake in that, ever.
*Clack*
*Clack*
I was in my own world, as I analyzed and thought of a strategy of my own, as the sound of the wooden board echoed my ears, the clacking that it makes when brushed by the pieces.
*Clack*
One could suppose that this was enjoyable in itself, as the outside couldn't touch me, and I merely focused on this barren space. The breath of the opponent in front of me, the expressions that they demonstrated, I glanced at them from time to time.
Knight to c2
King to f1
Though, I suppose the satisfying part of it was this:
Queen to e2
"Dammit!"
The opponent in front of me shouted, the rage and despair was obvious, even if I looked easy going on the outisde, inside I felt slight glee from having won, even to the point of looking down on him, it might be pitiful of me, still, it didn't matter, a win is a win. As I saw him leave, I then heard footsteps nearing the tent.
"Shit!"
Logan and the others entered, their fists clenched tightly, and their teeth gritted lightly, I felt a sense of spite adorning their faces.
"Hey, Hachiman, you gotta listen to this, they upped the price. Now they want 15. 15! Jesus!"
"Yeah, right now we don't have that"
Marcus followed up his venting.
So is the case for the others, as the absurdity of all of this surely left them furious, yet, behind that rage and frustration, I saw a glance of sorrow and disappointment, as though the toy they were promised was eventually sold out.
For all purposes, I supposed it was a toy, but, the look on their faces made it seem as if, to them, it was more than just a toy.
"I have plan"
At Logan's voice, everyone listened to him completely, with confused looks on their faces.
"At the back of their tent, there's a tiny hole there. Now, they don't know about it, so, if one of us can get in, we'll distract them and then take something from the stash"
Suddenly, the others brightened up from having heard Logan's scheme, they nodded and prepared to leave.
"Hachiman, c'mon"
"No"
"Why not?"
He asked in a slightly desperate manner.
"It's a dumb idea, you're gonna get caught, all of you"
I warded him off with simply a warning, and realistically speaking, it was more than inevitable.
"Don't you wanna...join us at least? I just wanna have fun with the boys"
Still, he persisted, he then looked to me, while he tilted his head to point outside, presumably to entice me into joining them. But, I shook my head from side to side, as I gave him a glare that said 'No'.
Logan's next expression appeared dejected, he looked to the ground, and avoided my gaze, his face contorted, even if slightly, and I saw a glimpse of frustration, yet even with such a face, he nodded in agreement and quietly said:
"Really? Ok"
"Let's go"
From the same entrance, they exited, yet before he completely left, he glanced at me one more time, even so, I saw them off with the same look as I had before.
(What's the deal with them? Why are they so hell bent on having me join their antics, realistically, they'll get caught and chewed out for it...)
(To do it would surely bite them back in the long run, yet even still, even if they already understood that, they still chose to do it, thinking about it rationally, it doesn't make sense...)
(Even back then, she and I did things that I would maybe consider good times, still, it was all under the pretext of being "part of the plan")
(But here, there's none of that here, no incentive, no reasoning, nothing...)
(To go through all of it...you just want to...)
("Have fun with the boys"...huh)
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Those footsteps sounded clear, and they entered a different tent.
"LCpl Peralta, we're here"
Logan called out.
And right in front of them was someone of a slim physique, sitting on his bed in a casual manner.
"Oh, looks like the FNG boys are here"
And, in a charismatic welcome, he smiled at them with open arms, while right behind him, five men stood up straight.
"So, you want a piece of my stash right?"
"Yeah"
"Bentley! Get my stash!"
He hollered and his order was received, as this Bentley nodded and walked away, in the distance of seven mattresses, a bag was pulled out and Bentley returned, offering the bag.
"Ok, let's see here..."
His hand went in, ruffling through the bag.
"Tory Lane? Nah that's for me. Katie Fox? Nope. Ah, here"
Finally, his hand resurfaced, and in that hand was a USB stick. Logan's eyes glittered as he slowly reached for the drive.
"Ah, ah, ah"
Peralta retracted his hand, while his other had its index finger sticking out, swinging from side to side, essentially telling Logan 'no'.
"Where's the trade?"
Peralta glared at them with waryness, as he saw that neither Logan, nor the others held anything that resembled their trade.
Logan and the others awkwardly gulped from the pressure and stares they received.
"Ah...actually, one of our guys was just about done getting it"
Peralta continued to stare at them, as though to figure out if they said the truth. He then closed his eyes.
"Ok, I'll wait"
With a judgmental stare, Peralta crossed his arms.
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.
.
Minutes had already passed, yet the still moment hadn't changed. As they were still under Peralta's suspecting gaze.
"Hey, it's taking pretty long, where is it?"
His patience was starting to wear thin, as Peralta spoke in a more irritated tone, Logan replied in an attempt to relieve him.
"It's coming, don't worry"
Having said so, Logan turned his back to face Chandler, with a visibly tensed face, and he whispered:
"Where the hell's Sean?"
With a contorted face, Chandler replied:
"I don't know, what are we gonna do if he doesn't show up?"
"We'll figure something out, don't you worry"
The two gave each other reassuring gazes, then gave the same gazes to Marcus, and they slowly regained their composure.
Yet, in that quiet space, came heavy footsteps.
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.
With so much weight that it actually slowed me, I trudged through and entered the tent. What greeted were glances of everyone inside.
"Hey"
I spoke casually to gain their attention, and eventually they did, as they gave me differing reactions.
"Are you LCpl Peralta?"
I gave a straight look to the man in the middle. And, from having heard my question, he gave a simple reply:
"Yeah? So"
Then I dragged this weight and shoved it in front of me. As they looked below, they had dumbfounded expressions, seeing that the body I carried turned to out be Sean.
"Sean?"
Logan worriedly looked at him.
"Sir. A moment ago, I caught him attempting to steal something from your bag, he went in through a hole near your bed"
"What?"
A visible look of confusion in him sprouted, and soon Peralta's mood changed to noticeable anger.
"They did this?"
I nonchalantly nodded.
"What the hell!?"
In fury, Logan grabbed me by the collar, though it wasn't serious, nor tight, I could feel true rage from it, as it told me of his anger and sadness.
"I told you, you'd get caught"
Even with him right beside me, I still stayed composed, enough to speak, and he merely returned my gaze with a look saying 'why?'
Understandably, I was selling them out, though it won't matter now.
"Hehehehe...Hahahaha! This shit is too much!"
Peralta started to chuckle, with a grin embedded on his face, and he looked at me.
"What the hell, you got ratted on!"
"Hey, yellow boy, how can I be sure you're not one of them?"
He sounded intrigued, as if he challenged me to a little mind game.
Should I be polite?
Should I tell the truth?
What's the right way?
If I tried protecting Logan and the others, he'd surely question that.
If I had even one little blind spot, he'd notice right away, and so, I said:
"They told me their plan, I already warned them, but they didn't listen, they're idiots"
"Oh? so, what're you gonna with them?"
As though to judge me by my choices, he looked at me with a curious look.
"Report them to the Sergeant"
"Ok, whatever"
He sounded bored, but also satisfied. He rumbled through his bag with one hand, and eventually:
"Here!"
He threw something rectangular, and made of paper. As I caught it, I realized what it was...
"That's your reward"
He casually joked. Perplexed, still, I accepted, and then gave him a look expressing 'bye'
As I looked to Logan, I signaled him to follow me. He did so, and with the others following behind, we quickly left the tent.
The trip to our tent was quiet, yet I still felt the contempt that Logan conveyed through his eyes.
"Not cool man, not cool"
Logan voiced with such disappointment as though I had committed a crime, still, it didn't matter.
"Catch"
Saying so, I casually threw a tiny object in his direction, and, though surprised, he caught in between his hands.
"What?"
As he looked at what was in his hands, all he saw was a tiny USB. I merely continued walking, yet the others went to Logan, curious as to what he caught.
"Where did you get this!?"
Marcus asked in a hurry.
"From his bag"
I stated nonchalantly.
"B-but you were catching me, right? How'd you do that?"
Sean questioned me, flabbergasted.
"I went in before you"
Sean's eyes went wide, and while he sported a grin that reached from ear to ear, he responded:
"You sneaky bastard!"
And following from that, Logan threw his arm on my shoulder, while he too had an elated smirk.
"Asshole, don't scare us like that"
I wanted to have his arm off me, but even with him seeing my disdained state, he brushed it off.
"Thanks man"
He uttered, as he looked to the sky, and then to the others.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever"
He ignored me fully as he excitedly screamed:
"Alright! Boys! Let's have ourselves a marathon!"
"Hell yeah baby!"
"Hoooraahh!"
"Wooooo!"
Like Spartans after having claimed victory, these four, were as gung-ho as ever.
I was few steps away from tent, when all of a sudden, Logan called for me.
"Hey man, c'mon we're gonna see the good shit tonight!"
As he invited me, I naturally refused, with the dread showed in full on my face.
He then wrapped his arm around my neck.
"Get off, I'm not interested"
"Don't be like that, c'mon, you gotta have fun once in a while"
He continued smiling, while we walked to our tent, that single word stayed in my head.
(Fun, it's something I knew I'd never have in a place like this, I'll do what they tell me, and if it works out, then all is good, and I still think so as well, as that would be more than enough)
(This place is already bearable, no homework, no annoyances. From time to time, there are still worries, but even so, I'm already fine with it, and I think I don't deserve to enjoy anything at all, considering what I've done to 'them')
(But maybe, maybe sometimes, letting loose once in a while is forgivable)
(Still, this is not my type of fun)
Anyway...I watched Generation kill, great watch. Don't watch it.(If you're not into rude, racist Marines)
Kiryu