Summary: Lies, deception, everything has a price ... what is the price of shame?
Disclaimer: I do not own them
A/N: Any reviews will be welcomed. Angela986 thanks for the heads up on ipecac syrup although I am an E.R nurse. The ipecac syrup is given to someone who is poisoned to make them throw up, nothing more. In Alex it is going to make her appear to have the morning sickness she doesn't have.
Chapter 4
The next morning Alex felt horrible. She knew that she was supposed to take the syrup every couple of days, but now just thinking about it made her physically ill. She was starving and yet she couldn't even dream about eating anything. As she laid in the bed she found herself rubbing her own stomach. Often her and Walker had talked about having children, and it wasn't as if they had tried not to, but so far they had not become pregnant.
"Alex, are you awake?" Walker came into the room carrying a glass of orange juice on it, and a single piece of toast. "I thought you might like something light to eat instead of a big breakfast." Alex smiled at how thoughtful he was, and nibbled on the toast. Luckily it stayed down, and after finishing off the glass of juice she felt a bit better.
"I need to get ready for work." Pushing back the covers Alex walked into the bathroom and took a long shower, letting the water loosen all the tension in her. When she stepped out, she found Walker standing there holding out a towel for her. She smiled and grabbed it from him wrapping it around her as she dried off, but Walker still did not move.
"You know you are beautiful."
"Walker, how can you say that? I spent the night leaning over the toilet. I have bags under my eyes."
Walker grabbed her gently around the waist, and pulled her still wet body to him. "You are carrying our child inside you. That makes you the prettiest woman in the world." He ran his hand inside the towel and it dropped to the floor. Now that Alex was standing before him he ran his hand across her smooth stomach. "Inside you is our child Alex. I want to be there for everything, every single aspect of this pregnancy. I want to feel its first kick, I want to be there in the delivery room, everything."
Alex's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Walker talk about the baby with such conviction, such love. She hated herself right now, she hated Mr. Sakara she hated just being alive. Mr. Sakara had stolen from her the most precious thing ever, her honesty to her husband. Walker noticed the tears and rubbed them away with the tips of his fingers. "Why the tears?"
Alex sniffed and tried to compose herself before she answered, searching for yet another lie. "How can you say I am beautiful when I will be getting fat soon?"
Alex, according to the book I read you won't start showing for a couple more months, and when you do I will think it just another of the precious things about you."
Alex stood horrified, her eyes huge. In reality she was appalled that Walker was reading about pregnancy and would know how each phase would be, but from her lips fell the lie. "You will truly love me even then?"
Walker pulled her to him, her wet body soaking his shirt. "Let me show you how much I love you," he said, picking her up and carrying her back over to the bed. Alex spent the next hour wrapped in the arms of her husband, their bodies intertwined in the heat of passion, and for that short time she forgot about her troubles.
Alex left shortly after kissing Walker and promising him he would come home to a meal he would not soon forget. She spent the day at the office trying to forget about everything, to just remember a time when her life was complete with Walker, before all of this. Five o'clock came around quickly and she raced home to fix dinner.
Walking into the house Alex went to go and change her clothes, grabbing one of Walker's tee shirts, and a pair of her jeans. She threw both on and went into the kitchen pulling out all the stuff she would need to make spaghetti with homemade sauce. Two hours later Walker came in through the door and immediately grabbed for his gun when he saw the lights were off in the house. He first ran into the bedroom and found it empty, and then rational thought came to him when he saw the candlelight coming from the kitchen.
Walking into the kitchen he found the table set with a single candle in the middle, sending the room into a soft glow and Alex standing there in his favorite tee shirt and a pair of jeans. "A fine welcome home Mrs. Walker, he said grabbing her and wrapping his arms around her waist."
Alex pushed him away playfully. "I spent all afternoon on this meal, so you better sit down and enjoy it."
Walker pulled out the chair and took a seat in it while Alex poured him a glass of wine, she was about to pour herself one also, when Walker stood up and walked to the refrigerator, coming back and filling her wine glass with milk. They sat there in the candlelight and ate their dinner, Walker telling her about his day and Alex in turn telling him about her newest case. It was not until Walker asked Alex about her next appointment that Alex tensed up.
"What does the doctor say about you being sick?"
Alex laid her fork down, twisting her napkin underneath the table. "He said it will pass with time. Really Walker, it is a normal thing that happens."
Walker frowned then, "There was nothing normal about you almost passing out last night. If I have to go and talk to that doctor myself I will. Nothing is more important than you and the baby right now."
Alex's heart skipped a beat. "Walker honestly Mr. Suling is just as good as my old doctor. He is very overprotective of me, almost as much as you are. He knows what he is doing, as a matter of fact he said to give you his card to call him if you ever needed to." Alex got up from the table and went over to her purse that was laying in the other room. She reached for the card the doctor had given her and her hand pushed past he dreaded ipecac syrup. She returned to the kitchen and handed Walker the card and then took her seat.
Alex grabbed her glass of milk and took a big swallow. "Now that you have the card how about we finish dinner before it gets cold. I made an apple crisp for dessert."
Walker smiled, placing the card in his pocket. "Yes Maám."
Alex placed her nightgown on and crawled into bed that night hoping Walker would let the matter drop about her so called morning sickness. It wouldn't do for him to go barraging in there making a scene. She knew tomorrow she would have to take another dose of the awful concoction, so she snuggled close to Walker placing her head on his chest and soon the sound of his beating heart lulled her to sleep.