Summary: Lies, deception, everything has a price ... what is the price of shame?
Disclaimer: I do not own them
A/N: Any reviews will be welcomed, any flames will be shared with friends for laughs.
Chapter 9
Alex had driven straight past CD's when she didn't see Walker's truck outside and took the long way to the ranch. She cranked the radio up, hoping to drown out the voices inside her telling her that she should confess everything to Walker. From time to time her eyes fell on her stomach. Her pants that she had worn to the doctor couldn't be buttoned now at all. Alex would have been proud had it been an actual baby inside her growing, but she knew that inside her was nothing more than the saline bag.
The doctor had warned her not to fall down and land on the bag or it would rupture. Alex didn't think she would fall until her feet stepped out of the car at the ranch, and the first pain of what she had endured that day hit her. Grabbing onto the side of car she took a few calming breaths, hoping the pain would pass. When it did in a couple of minutes, Alex walked into the house.
She dropped her coat on the couch and could hear Walker in the kitchen singing some little tune. She wanted to run to him, to wrap her arms around him, and just sob and tell him about the horrible things she had done and said, but she couldn't she knew that. Placing a smile on her face she walked into the kitchen rather stiffly.
"There you are," Walker said as he saw her come around the table, wrapping his arms around her. When he pulled her close to him, Alex couldn't hold back the small gasp at the pain, and instantly Walker held her at arms length.
"Alex, are you in pain? Is there something wrong?"
Alex saw nothing but pure love and worry in his eyes, and her own misted up. "It's nothing Walker, I'm just a bit sore is all."
Walker led Alex over to the couch and sat her down. "The doctor, what did he say? Is everything going all right with the baby, with you?"
Alex laid back, her head throbbing. "He said everything was going according to schedule," quoting the earlier words of Mr. Sakara.
Walker found himself staring into Alex's eyes now, looking to see if she was telling him the truth, knowing that often Alex tried to hide her pain from him. All he could see there was pain, and exhaustion. "Why don't you go take a long bath and I will get dinner ready."
Alex smiled, and graciously accepted the offer, hoping the warm bath would soothe away some of the pain. With a sigh she got up and went inside the bathroom. She leaned over the tub and ran the water, adding the bubbles in and then started to get undressed. She tugged at the zipper of her jeans, and felt relieved when she got them off. That is when she gasped, staring down at her stomach. It looked so natural, and yet she knew that it wasn't. It frightened her, knowing that something foreign was in her stomach and she couldn't do a thing about it.
The pain however had her sinking into the tub, closing her eyes as she did. The water seemed to soothe away the pain somewhat, but the water burned a bit in her navel. Actually it was a very good idea she had to admit, even though she was disgusted. There was no scar to see. Knowing if she didn't come out of the tub soon Walker would come looking her Alex stepped out draping the towel around her. This was the moment that Walker decided to come into the bathroom to check on her.
Walker stood in the doorway as Alex dried off, staring at her with nothing short of pure joy in his eyes. Here was his wife, carrying his child inside her. Her slightly larger stomach only made her seem more appealing to him. Stepping into the room and making his presence known he carefully wrapped his arms around her, kissing her lips gently.
"You are more beuatiful than the stars, more so than the moon. How did I get so lucky to ever find you?"
Alex stared into eyes that held nothing for her but love. "It is I who is lucky to have you. You make me complete."
Walker picked Alex up and toted her to the bed, the towel falling to the floor. "I want to show you how much you mean to me Alex," he whispered.
Alex nodded in agreement, wanting more than anything to feel him close to her. Their bodies glided with the movements, Alex biting back the pain as Walker lay atop her. She wouldn't ruin this moment, not when it felt so right for him to be there. An hour later they lay beside one another, both still wrapped up in the bliss of the moment. It wasn't till Walker started running his hand up her thigh that Alex sat up in the bed.
"I know you think that getting bigger makes you look less desirable to me Alex, but I want you to know that it makes you look even more so to me."
Alex gulped back the sob. "The doctor said I would start gaining weight rather fast now."
Walker smiled as he rubbed her stomach. "That just means we are going to have a healthy baby is all Alex. That is all that matters to me, you and the baby. You gaining weight just means we are one step closer to holding our son or daughter in our arms."
Alex couldn't say anything, in fear that she would break down. She simply nodded at Walker and watched as his fingers circled the small of her stomach. "I can't wait till the baby starts kicking."
Alex started to worry then. "The doctor said that may not happen till around seven months." she told Waker.
"I can wait," he smiled. "I am going to go check on the roast for dinner. Why don't you get dressed, and by the look of things I would think the new clothes might just fit you now."
Alex did get up and get dressed, the pain hitting her when she stood up. Mr. Suling had said there would be pain but this was not unbearable, just very uncomfortable. Grabbing the new jeans Walker had bought she put them on and then stared at herself in the mirror. The sight disgusted her and she turned away fast before the urge to break the mirror overtook her.
Alex and Walker spent the week at work, but Alex could not concentrate and won her case by the skin of her teeth. If it hadn't been for the witness the whole case would have been in shambles. They spent each night by the fireplace, enjoying the warmth it brought even though Spring was fast approaching and the nights were less cold. The day before Alex was supposed to go back to the doctor the phone rang. She jumped up to answer it, leaving Walker to finish watching the movie.
"Mrs. Walker, I am so glad it was you who answered the phone."
"What is it that you want?" Alex asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
"Mr. Suling tells me you are due for another appointment tomorrow. He told me to also inform you that you are not to forget that their shall be another procedure. Get plenty of rest Mrs. Walker as we wouldn't want you succumbing to fatigue."
"As if you care whether I am tired or not," Alex spat.
"On the contrary Mrs. Walker I am very concerned. You are the key to my plan working. If anything happens to you then I will just have to go ahead with the plan to kill your husband. Now neither of us wants that I assume, so get planty of rest tonight, and I will see you tomorrow."
Alex hung up the phone, and went to sit back down next to Walker on the couch. "Who was on the phone, and why are you trembling?" Walker asked, turning off the movie.
"It was just the doctor, telling me to get plenty of rest before my appointment tomorrow."
"That doesn't explain why you are shaking Alex. Tell me what it is, you know I will understand."
Alex bit her lip, the tears flowing down her face now. She wanted to tell Walker everything, and staring into his eyes filled with nothing but concern broke her heart. "It's nothing Walker, honest. I am just getting nervous about the delivery is all. You know I don't tolerate pain very well," she tried to joke.
Walker wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Don't you worry about a thing. You and the baby are both healthy and strong. Nothing will happen Alex, so stop worrying. I think CD is worrying enough for the both of us."
Alex grabbed Walker by the hand and stood up. "Come on I am a bit tired. Why don't we go to bed."
Alex went to bed, and waited till she could hear the soft breathing coming from Walker to tell her he was now asleep. That is when she moved his hand off her stomach, and felt the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. She wept that night quietly. Her whole life she had wanted nothing more than to become a mother, to share her joy with her husband. Now all she could look forward to was a life without him when he found out about her deceit.