Summary: Lies, deception, everything has a price ... what is the price of shame?
Disclaimer: I do not own them
A/N: Any reviews will be welcomed, any flames will be shared with friends for laughs.
Chapter 11 Nightmares
Alex had nightmares all night long, waking up in a cold sweat, only to find Walker looking very concerned and assuring her that everything was all right. She went back to sleep, but this time her dreams seemed too real. She and Walker were standing outside a house and in the dream she confessed to Walker what she had done. Walker had stared at her for the longest time, and then he had turned and walked away. Alex had yelled out to him, begging him to understand that she had no other choice, but in the dream he had kept walking. It was then that the shot rang out, and Walker fell to the ground. Alex started running but when she got to him, he was covered in blood, death's cold stare in his eyes.
Alex jerked awake, the scream dying out on her lips as Walker's hands came to rest on her shoulders. "Alex, honey it's okay. Alex?" he called to her but Alex couldn't rid her mind of his face.
When she calmed down enough to realize she was sitting in the bed and Walker was safe beside her, Walker rubbed the tears off her face. "Do you want to tell me about the dream?"
Alex shook her head no. She didn't want the dream to come true. "It was nothing, only a dream."
"Alex, you have been waking up screaming all night. The dream has to be something."
Alex bit her lip trying to control her emotions. "It was ... It was that I saw you die. Someone took you from me."
Walker smiled at her, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Is that all? Alex, you should know I am not going to leave you or the baby. Nothing could tear this family apart."
Alex faked a smile in return, but she couldn't go back to sleep, not now. "I think I am a little bit hungry," she said, trying to distract Walker away from the conversation. Alex then tried to get up, but found she couldn't. Her stomach still twinged with pain, and she found herself looking up at Walker with pleading eyes.
Walker held out his hand, and helped Alex to stand. "I will go and get you something light to eat. You can go and freshen up if you want, but then right back in bed, doctor's orders."
Alex thanked him, and made her way carefully into the bathroom, the light hurting her eyes when she cut it on. At the first sight of her stomach she gasped out loud, bringing Walker running into the room. "What is it? Are you in pain?"
Alex opened and closed her mouth like a fish. "When did I get so big?" she said aloud. Even though she knew the answer it had still come as a shock to her.
Walker sighed as he came over and wrapped his arms carefully around her, placing his hands on her round belly. "Alex, you have never looked more beautiful to me. I don't see you as fat, I see you as the mother carrying my child."
"But Walker, I am huge."
"You are not huge, and you will get bigger, and I will love every minute of it. Our child is inside you growing stronger and bigger everyday. Why don't you go and get back into bed. I will be back in a minute with something to eat."
Alex went and laid down on the bed. She could faintly remember her appointment with Dr. Suling, the way he had forced the solution bag inside her, and how she had passed out when the pain had gotten too bad. She now looked down at the rather large belly. If she didn't know better she would think she was pregnant. It looked so real, but Alex knew the truth. It was the sudden cramp in her stomach that had Alex sucking in her breath, and rubbing her stomach to try an ease the pain away.
Walker came back into the room carrying a tray with a glass of milk and a sandwich. He set the tray down on the nightstand, and sat down beside Alex. "Does it still hurt?" he asked, moving her hand away.
Alex couldn't bring herself to even move, for when she stopped rubbing at her stomach the pain seemed to get worse. She was going to tell Mr. Sakara he couldn't very well go along with his plan if she died. Noticing Walker was waiting for an answer Alex nodded that it did.
"Why don't you try to eat something, and I will massage it."
Alex picked up the sandwich and took a bite, fighting back the tears in her eyes. She had never felt a pain like this before, not ever. She tried to swallow but the lump in her throat was keeping her from it. The pain didn't ease off till Walker laid his hand on her stomach and began massaging it, starting at the top and working his way down. The pain eased off enough for her to eat and Alex finished off half the sandwich. She then sat there watching Walker continue to massage her stomach, stopping from time to time to lay his head on it gently.
"Walker?"
"I am just talking to our son or daughter and telling them to settle down for the night so their mom can get some rest." Walker sat up but kept his hand on her, rubbing continously. "Last year I would never have even imagined I would be sitting here next to you, only a few months away from being able to hold our child. Alex ..." he said trying to find the words he wanted to say. "You have given me the greatest gift in the world, and I love you even more for it. This child means the world to me, and even now I can't imagine my life without knowing him or her."
Alex's eyes swirled with tears, and they fell down her face. "Walker, I need to tell you something." Alex wanted to tell him then and there. This was eating her up inside. She couldn't go on with this lie, no matter what the end result would be.
"You don't have to say anything Alex. I know how you feel. You are hurting and in pain, all for this baby. You are going through all of this to give me a child, and that shows me how much you care."
Alex then burst into tears, letting Walker comfort her. She couldn't tell him, not when he stared at her like that. Not when he believed that there was a child. "Go to sleep Alex and get some rest. The doctor said you would be feeling better tomorrow."
Alex drifted off to the sound of Walker talking to her stomach, telling the baby about all the fun things they would be doing together once he or she was born.
A/N: yeah I know it was kind of short, but see you next Thursday! where things will go downhill.