Dumbledore
Dumbledore, you are really thick
You're a sissy little runt
You got yourself killed by a stick
Snape murdered you,
Because he thinks you are a
(pause)
Melon head
And now you're dead
And now you're dead
And now you're dead
You melon head
And sometimes you get what you deserve
Ever since Voldie started, you've been
Trespassing on his turf
In the words of my mum
You were a moron
to think a man could change
And now they've gone and used you
As their own wand firing range
And now you're dead
And now you're dead
And now you're dead
You melon head
You were killed by a wooden stick,
By a man who's hair is really,
Really, really, slick,
With grease,
And another thing,
What were you thinking when you hired Slughorn?
He's so obese.
-&-
Umbridge
Umbridge,
Umbridge,
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?
Umbridge,
Umbridge,
We all hate you, why won't you die?
You're as ugly as sin,
You're not that thin,
You look like a toad,
You have wrinkly skin,
You made Harry bleed,
And that's just not cool,
Why won't you leave?
Get out of our school!
Umbride,
Umbridge,
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?
Umbridge,
Umbridge,
We all hate you, why won't you die?
We really, really hate you,
No one wants to date you,
Not even Professor Slughorn,
And he's really fat,
He'd rather look at porn,
Umbridge,
Umbridge,
Could you really, ever, be more of a bitch?
Umbridge,
Umbridge.
We hate you, why won't you die?
We. Hate. You. Why won't you… Die?
-&-
Cho
Cho, Cho,
There's no
where you,
can go,
Cho, Cho,
You. Are. A. Ho.
Cedric died because you suck!
It's harsh but true!
You really, really suck!
No one wants you!
Cho, Cho,
No one wants Harry Potter's
Sloppy seconds
Cho, Cho,
Even Slughorn would turn you down,
And he's really round
Oho!
Cho, Cho,
There's no,
Where you,
Can go,
Cho, Cho,
You. Are. A. Ho.
Cho, Cho,
Everyone hates you
It's harsh but true
You're right
It is your fault Cedric died
Go in your corner and cry!
Cho, Cho,
It sucks to be you,
Cho, Cho,
It's harsh but true
Everyone hates… a-you
-&-
It's a gem of a story, no?
Asta La Cheetos, you gernaium-infested bubblewrap victims,
Trapped Rabbit