"Ask me why I'm smiling."
"I will, because it's scaring me."
Angel: Waiting In The Wings written by Joss Whedon
HER BURNING HEART
The Story of Lilia
Derevko by JetNoir
Note: Again, I am deeply indebted to Penelope S. Cartwright for her information regarding FBI Training, as well as the memoirs of Candice DeLong.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN - All The Way To The FBI
18th December 1995
FBI Academy; Quantico, Virginia
It was at this moment in time and space, that Lilia Derevko decided she despised Agent Penance Frost. She had hated her from pretty much the moment they had first met, but running round the Marine Assault Course, in the dead of winter, in the worst blizzard to hit Quantico for a century - and that is was unscheduled, she had only been informed by her smug teacher an hour before - that this was unnecessary, and…oh, Lilia was lost for words.
This was the only class out. Known as 95-6: the sixth class accepted in 1995; it was headed by Frost, a woman with a dark reputation. And now, Lilia's hatred had expanded to the point of utter malice. She would put that vindictive little bitch in her damn place.
And it had started so well…
--
7th September 1995
J. Edgar Hoover Building; Washington, D.C.
FBI Director Tunberry walked onto the stage, in front of the thirty new recruits, and sighed. Was it just him, or were they getting younger? Must be a sign of his getting old. Sighing bitterly, he sipped from his glass of water, and cleared his throat.
"Welcome, class ninety-five six. Welcome to the FBI Academy. Before you will be handed over to your primary instructor, Penance Frost, I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce myself, and to talk a little about what will be expected of you. All of you before me, are the best and the brightest from around the country. Yes, a little cliché, but truth nonetheless. You all have spent three years in jobs serving others, from the emergency services, nurses, doctors. The list goes on. If you pass this year, if you can reach the pinnacle of your potential, then your service to this country would be immense. Hardships lay before you, danger and terror. We are here to protect this great country, and you should all be proud to be brave enough to answer that need. Ladies, and gentleman. Welcome to the Academy."
--
8th September 1995
FBI Academy; Quantico, Virginia
When she had applied for the FBI, Lilia hadn't quite expected this.
"Keep moving!" was the bellowing cry from the Instructor, as Lilia kept running. During her stay, there would be three fitness tests, and the first was scheduled for the second day in.
As she ran, her mind flitted over a few things. She had a small apartment (or rather, two rooms), but it was clean, and quite nice, and she didn't have to share it with anyone else. She was quite looking forward to dinner, and a quiet night reading. She had some textbooks to glance over, and a pile of novels by her bed.
It wasn't what she had expected.
But she would stick at it.
--
27th October 1995
Her first test had gone well, and now, six weeks in, Lilia faced the same test.
It had been a quiet, and intensive start to the year, and Lilia found herself intrigued.
She hadn't made many friends, instead deciding to be solitary. Her schedule was busy, and the effects of James' deaths still affected her deeply. Psychologically speaking, she didn't want to get close to anyone, for fear of losing them.
Was loneliness better than loss?
--
17th November 1995
"Giovanni! On your left!"
Giovanni Jackman spun, his green eyes glinting, raising his pistol from it's former position: pointed at the floor. He aimed at the silent figure before him, and pulled the trigger. The hammer hit the chamber with a large 'click', but no bullet was expelled - for it wasn't loaded.
However, for the purposes of this exercise, such force was not needed, and the silent figure dropped to the floor, playing dead (though quite obviously breathing).
"Thanks, Lilia," he said, in his clipped British accent, "much obliged." He dropped to the floor, and scanned the area. Lilia followed suit.
A claxon sounded, and the lights in the area came on. It was night, and the sudden juxtaposition made Lilia and Giovanni blink frantically.
"Well done," said Penance Frost, "but you could have done better. Nice shooting Mister Jackman, but Miss Derevko? Shouldn't you have shot the attacker yourself?"
"I was too far away. I was near to Giovanni, and could have hit him," said Lilia.
"Interesting response," said Frost, "but there was no way you could know that. And even as Mister Jackman hit the attacker, your yell could have given your position away, if there had been more hostiles. Be more careful in the future."
Lilia held her tongue, but she knew her comments would not be welcomed. This was one time not to fight back.
--
18th December 1995 continued
"There are times," complained Giovanni, "that I really hate Frost."
"Times?" cried Lilia, "So not all the time then?"
"She does seem to have it in for us." He tried to wipe the snow from his face, but it just kept getting replaced constantly.
"I'm just so cold," said Lilia, "I suppose you find that strange from a Russian."
"Hell," said Giovanni, "I'm British. We invented bad weather, for crying out loud. This is excessive."
"Notice she isn't here with us?"
"Frost wouldn't sully her hands in the frost, then?"
"Something like that," said Lilia.
--
Five miles later, the run was over, and the class slowly made their way back to the accommodations. As they walked through the buildings they passed Frost, who had a slightly smug smile on her face.
Lilia glared at her, despising everything she stood for, refusing to be beaten, and glad to be getting home. It was Christmas. Always room for more mistletoe and wine.
--
25th December 1995
Home of Winona Davies, and Lilia Derevko; Washington, D.C.
Midday.
With a mouthful of chicken and gravy, Lilia was talking: "And she's just a nightmare. How she can get away with it?"
"I know," said Winona, a glint in her eye, "as you have told me the past seven days! But you're coping with her…"
"Yeah. You know what, Auntie. I bet she is alone, right now. I'd be surprised if anyone else could stand to be near her."
Quarters of Agent Penance Frost; Quantico, Virginia
Still midday.
Lilia's prediction was accurate. With cold snow falling outside, Penance sat at her quiet table. There was a small Christmas tree in the corner, sparsely decorated. The room was fairly dark, because Penance didn't want to be reminded of the barrenness. She had sent out a few cards, but received none in return. There were no presents under her tree. The same pattern, every single year.
Penance Frost was alone in the world.
She stabbed her fork viciously into the piece of steak, and cut a slice off. Placing it into her mouth, she winced. It was cold, as cold as her name, as cold as the world outside, as cold as the weather, as cold as Penance Frost.
A tear tricked down her cheek, swiftly followed by a flood. Alone, and isolated, Frost howled in loneliness and despair.
Crying with a cold Christmas dinner
--
INTERLUDE: 7th September 1995 - 5th April 1996
It's called a layered background check, and all FBI Agents receive it.
When a prospective Agent applies for the Academy; when they are in training, a group of Agents will interview virtually everybody the applicant knows. Then they interview virtually everybody the previous interviewee knows. Hence: 'layered'.
With Lilia, there wasn't many people. They couldn't find Kitty; James was dead, and his parents had nothing but highest praise for Lilia; her work was described as good by the University Hospital; Anna explained about Constantine; and Winona didn't mention she knew Hannibal Lecter.
Lilia Derevko was the first, and (thankfully) only Serial Murderer to pass the layered check.
END OF INTERLUDE
--
9th January 1996
FBI Academy; Quantico, Virginia
It's called Hogan's Alley, and throughout the world it is infamous as the proving ground for aspiring agents. Today, they would be using targets, but shooting with real bullets. Medics would be standing by, but they had to learn the dangers of friendly fire.
Five trainees stood crouched behind boxes. Paintballs were being fired towards them, by random, to simulate desperate cover fire. Each time a target was shot in a vital area (head, or heart), that machine would stop working. It was a nice system.
Paintball were flying left, right and centre, and the trainees were pinned down.
"We have to move soon," said Giovanni, "there is a time limit."
"Alright," said Lilia, "Swern, and Rowan, lay down covering fire."
"Hey!" said Rowan, "Who put you in charge?"
"Shut up," snapped Giovanni, then nodded for Lilia to continue.
"Giovanni, Neville, get to those crates further forward, and snipe as accurately as you can. I'll head to the opposite side. We'll create a crossfire. And try not to hit each other. Now move!"
Swern and Rowan moved forward, and started to fire, aiming towards the targets. They managed to hit the centre one - which was fairly lucky - as it was the most dangerously positioned. Giovanni took off, with Neville in hot pursuit, firing as they went. Rowan was the first to empty his clip, so while he reloaded, Lilia decided to make her move. Keeping her eyes on the targets, she leaped forward, and desperately shot at the one to her right (for Giovanni and Neville were trying to hit to the left). Using her ballet skills, she gracefully dodged the balls that came near her easily, and kept firing until the right target was hit. Then, shifting her balance, she aimed and with her last bullet hit the left target. She was a little late though, as she heard a muffled 'ungh' behind her. She turned and Swern was falling backwards, a large glob of pink paint stuck to his forehead.
Yet they had prevailed. Pushing her hair back from her eyes, Lilia clicked the safety on her gun, then holstered it. She looked to the supervising agents, and was surprised to see them all staring at her, mouths wide open.
"You're the first group to have ever completed that task," gasped one, "erm…ever. You lost one person-"
"And you wouldn't have lost any, if you'd followed procedure!" snapped Frost, storming onto the area; "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was Miss Derevko? While you so coolly took command, one of your team is dead, and the rest were in mortal danger. What the blazes do you think you're playing at?"
"I wasn't play-" began Lilia, but Frost interrupted:
"Don't interrupt! Yes, you many have been the first group to have succeeded, but you are taught to stay down when under fire! Not try fancy acrobatics, like you're in some wretched John Woo film. This is not fiction, Miss Derevko, this is your life. But not just your life, the lives of those around you. Frankly, you'd better learn that if you wish to remain here!"
Angrily, she stormed off, leaving an equally angry Lilia in her place. One of the supervising agents, seeing her anger, came over, and whispered: "Don't worry. We were all extremely impressed."
Sadly, that wasn't enough for Lilia.
--
SECOND INTERLUDE: Lilia's Classes
This year of training was extremely intensive for Lilia, and something she found extremely challenging. The full list is too full to mention here, but here are some of the more important ones.
Guns play a large and important part in the life of an FBI agent - for their very lives might depend on one. As such, their training is treated importantly as well. The FBI teaches a specific stance, with the gun held to the side of the body, with both hands in a combat situation; and pointed at the floor in ready positions. It might be all well and good for James Bond to hold his gun upright, but for those of us whose name isn't Pierce Brosnan, would get our noses shot off.
There are physical exercises (remember, Quantico is a Marines base as well), and their famed assault course is a regular fixture for a trainee FBI Agent (Lilia did fairly well with this, but enjoyed this section rather less, it must be admitted).
The Academics are split into several areas, from Behavioural Sciences, to Criminal Law, and Interrogation techniques. Regular classes are held.
When it comes to tests (which again are regular), trainees are required to get 85 percent right. If they fall below this, they are allowed one more shot at the test, and if they fail again, they are "washed out", and given a bus ticket home.
It's hard, it's cruel, but in a way, it's necessary. At least the terrible sexism of the eighties is no longer with the FBI.
Because Frost wasn't sexist. She just hated everybody.
END OF SECOND INTERLUDE
--
28th March 1996
Woods nr Quantico, Virginia
"Well, well, well," said Lilia desperately trying not to gloat, and failing miserably, "what a state of affairs."
Wait a minute, let me back up.
Half an hour ago, Penance Frost, FBI Agent, had fallen down one of the cliffs that surrounded Quantico. Let's just say that she was in quite some pain.
Three minutes ago, Lilia Derevko, serial killer, had found her.
"So what, Miss Derevko, do you find so amusing? That your monstrous teacher has fallen on hard times? Are you really that petty?"
Lilia just kept smiling, and Frost continued:
"Aren't you quite the Cheshire Cat? Will you kill me, and hide the body? Or just leave me to rot?"
"Ask me why I'm smiling," said Lilia.
"I will, because it's scaring me."
"Agent Frost…you're human. I can tell you're alone, so you hold to your namesake. You shut yourself away from the world, and try to make the pain go away. But it doesn't work. Believe me, I tried. You're human, Agent Frost, not a monster. I just wish you didn't act like one all the time. Now let me help you up."
So Lilia did. Penance turned out to have a sprained ankle, but it was bad enough that she was laid up for a week. Lilia was the only one to visit her.
Afterwards, Penance was still hard on her students, but not cold and cruel. She even resolved to make some friends.
I don't know whether she ever managed to attain her goal.
--
1st April 1996
Excerpts of Transcript, taken from second interview (of two) of Lilia Derevko
FBI Academy; Quantico, Virginia
FBI: Why do you wish to join the FBI?
Derevko: I guess that I wanted to help people. I see so much pain around me, because of crime, and I wanted to help.
FBI: Have you ever killed anybody?
Derevko: No. As you already know, my mother killed my father in defence of me. But I, myself, have not.
FBI: Death seems to surround your family. Your boyfriend committed suicide, your mother killer your father, and as to your Aunt's husband.
Derevko: I had no control over any of it. How could I?
FBI: Did you support the Communist state, during your time in Russia.
Derevko: Excuse me?
FBI: Did you-
Derevko: No, I heard you. What do my political views have to do with this?
FBI: Sometimes they can be helpful asserting the true nature of a person.
Derevko: Fine, no I didn't support the Communist state, because I left when I was eleven. I lean to the left, but you already knew that.
--
27th April 1996
Utter silence reigned in the hall as Lilia wrote the last few words of her final exam. This was it. The past year rested on these last few words.
She had passed everything else, easily attaining the 85 percent required. It was so important to her, and just a few words could make a difference.
Finishing, she set down the pen, and sighed. Now she must wait.
--
15th May 1996
Home of Winona Davies, and Lilia Derevko; Washington, D.C.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait for too long, and when she opened her results, she was happy. For the first time, in what seemed like forever, she was happy. A long phone call to St Petersburg ensued.
--
Dinner, later that night,
"Aunt," said Lilia, through a mouthful of food, "I was thinking. I'm twenty-one…and to get to J. Edgar Building…well, it's the other side of Washington. I was just wondering…maybe I could get a little place."
"You want to move out?" asked Winona.
"Not so much. Just set up on my own. I mean, I'd come and see you everyday, but I've got three years of nurses salary saved up. I could get somewhere nice."
"Alright," smiled Winona, "we'll see what there is."
--
20th May 1996
FBI Academy; Quantico, Virginia
Lilia walked onto the stage, to polite applause from the audience; which consisted of her fellow graduates, their families and some agents. Lilia noted that Agent Frost was present, as well as the infamous Clarice Starling - who Lilia had met, all those years ago.
"Doctor Lilia Derevko," said Director Tunberry, who enthusiastically shook Lilia's hand. His other hand connected with Lilia's other hand as they held her new FBI credentials. A light flashed, and Lilia heard the whir of a camera. This moment recorded for all history.
"Welcome to the FBI," smiled Tunberry, and Lilia nodded, and walked off the other edge of the stage, into her family, and the throng of the masses.
--
24th June 1996
J. Edgar Hoover Building; Washington, D.C.
When Lilia first arrived, on her first day, she didn't quite know what to expect. She was fielded to reception, and given her assignment.
She was to work in the forensic department, backing up Behavioural Sciences - which was quite an honour for somebody fresh out of the Academy.
So, on this fine sunny day, Lilia Derevko, serial killer, nurse, forensic scientist, doctorate holder, Agent of the FBI, began her career, and her new life.
Note: My account of Lilia's run through Hogan's Alley is fictionalised, because I don't know what it looks like; although it does exist. Now, I realise that this won't be finished by the twentieth, unless it is badly rushed, and will probably end up quite awful, so I'm going to finish DayNight and A Hole In The Head for my anniversary, and keep writing this.
Disclaimer: Hannibal is copyright to Thomas Harris; and the story, plus original characters to me. This story has been written on the understanding that you may read it and print it out; but you may not pass it off as your own, hire it out, or sell it for money. You also may not put it on your own or any other web page (that includes links) without my express written permission. Thankyou!
JetNoir