"Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand.

I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me.

Take me out, to the black, tell 'em I ain't coming back.

Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.

I have no place that I can be, since I found serenity.

But you can't take the sky from me."

The Ballad of Serenity (theme from Firefly) by Joss Whedon

HER BURNING HEART
The Story of Lilia Derevko by JetNoir

Note: Over ahundred and ten pages, over twenty-eight thousand words, many cups of tea and coffee, lots of sleepless nights, one year and three months later, it is done. Her Burning Heart is finished. I feel strangely abandoned, as I have all my other Hannibal stories are finished. It's so strange. So, for the last time, the final chapter…

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Saying Goodbye

present day

Washington, D.C. Cemetery - 7 days after the death of Lilia Derevko

"I've always hated saying goodbye," said Anna Derevko, her voice shaky. She was handsomely dressed in black, with a red shawl thrown around her neck. Her arm was linked with that of Clarice Starling, herself dressed purely in black.

"I still can't believe it myself," said Clarice, tears falling slowly down her face.

"And that fact no-one is here."

"That was partly my doing," said Clarice, "no-one in the Bureau wanted to come. In the FBI no-one wants to admit the truth about Lilia; and how she deceived us. And I know neither you nor she would have wanted a cremation for her…so we say Revenant is dead, and that Lilia was a casualty of that raid. It's truth, in a way; and the FBI avoids the public finding out they had a serial-murderer on their payroll. In this climate of fear, it's the last thing it needs."

"But instead of suicide by omission, it was monstrum Hannibal Lecter."

"Yes," said Clarice, as they looked out on the empty graveyard.

"Hell," spat Anna, "where did it all go wrong? I thought a life here would have been full of opportunity…but it has been a seeming nightmare. How did she manage to cope? And what was Winona doing all these years?"

"I have no idea," said Clarice, "and I still can't quite grasp the truth myself. Lilia was my friend, perhaps my closest friend since Ardelia Mapp was sent away on assignment. She was a bit of a recluse, but she always had time for me. She always made time for me."

"She was a very kind, and caring girl."

"Who just happened to murder people," whispered Clarice, tears flowing down her cheeks, a gesture echoed by Anna.

--

No more words were spoken.

No more words were needed.

The two women stood side by side, alone and abandoned, as the coffin was lowered into the ground, and earth threw upon it. There had been no service.

When it was done, the two women walked away from each other, silently, but with no animosity between them.

Neither saw the other person again.

--

Home of Clarice Starling; Arlington, Virginia - 7 days after the death of Lilia Derevko

It is night.

Clarice Starling is sitting up in bed, the covers tucked tight around her. Ardelia's side of the house they share is still dark and empty. She will not be home for several months.

In Clarice's hands - illuminated by the table lamp beside her - is a letter. One of those sent to her by Hannibal Lecter, during her manic chase for 'Revenant'. The last one, after he had killed her. After he had coldly slit Lilia's throat, and drugged Clarice into oblivion, before making his mistake. It had been sent after he had left her.

But she couldn't accept that he had abandoned her.

Because he hadn't.

"Dear Clarice,

Once again, I'm leaving America…but I couldn't leave without sending a last letter. Do you feel betrayed by your friend's Clarice? More specifically Lilia? From what I learned, hiding in that cave, it seemed that she loved you…in one way or the other. I don't know whether it was meant to be homosexual, maternal, friendship, or simply a disturbed mind trying to seek comfort. A disturbed mind…I suppose that you would believe I was an authority on that.

The question that has been raised however, is at once both fascinating…and disturbing. I'm talking about trust Clarice. Trust. Will you ever be able to trust another living soul, as you once trusted your friends? Will you lye awake at night, and cry, because your now damaged nature will ever prevent you from finding friendships…hmmm?

I have always found solitude to be especially useful. I know that I am different to other people, and how they view me. Yet I view myself as perfectly normal, and everyone else to be the people who are different.

You have always been an unusual person, Clarice, and it leads me to wonder if this has been your lesson.

If that is so…then I hope the lesson has been learned."

She had read it a thousand times since it had first fallen into her hands, and in it's odd words of comfort and solidarity, she took solace.

"Yes, Doctor," she whispered, "the lesson has been learned."

She placed the letter on the nightstand, switched the lamp off, and snuggled down into the warm covers.

So, finally, Clarice Staling falls into a deep sleep; not peaceful, not silent; in which she encounters a little girl in Belvedere, Ohio, whose name is known only as Christine.

--

Excerpt from Senate Oversight Committee; Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C. - 14 days after the death of Lilia Derevko, regarding her infiltration into the Federal Bureau of Investigation

"So what you are saying, Special Agent Starling, is that Doctor Derevko exhibited no signs of unusual behaviour, while you were the Supervising Special Agent, in the Revenant taskforce?"

"That, sir," said Clarice, "is correct."

"Well! I find that rather hard to believe, Agent Starling. Surely someone of your experience would have noticed something? Or are you simply incompetent? Your career was kick-started by the Buffalo Bill case, but where has it led?"

"Senator, I deeply resent your implications. I am not here to be insulted. I am neither incompetent, nor did I aid Lilia in her murders. She was my friend…despite her solitary nature. In all honesty, I still cannot believe that this is all true. I know that this committee has been convened, not to find the truth, but to find a scapegoat, and you will not put that on me again."

"Agent Starling, believe me: if it hadn't been for the testimonial of Director Tunberry, and Special Agents Matthew Ito, and Elias Irons, you would be in prison for sheer incompetence. In conclusion, however, the committee has decided you knew nothing of Doctor Derevko's criminal activities. Now what is this final piece of evidence you wish to bring before us."

Clarice took a sip of water and sighed bitterly. The bureaucrats just had no idea. Looking down, she picked up a sealed plastic bag, with a piece of paper inside.

"While searching through Lilia's house," she said, "I found this document. It is a fragment of a document, from a poem called 'La Vita Nuova', by the Italian poet Dante Alighieri. It reads as follows: He woke her then and trembling and obedient / She ate that burning heart out of his hand; / Weeping I saw him then depart from me."

She paused again, then continued:

"Lilia Derevko was a confused, and conflicted woman. She was nothing short of a genius, but a disturbed upbringing changed her. She became a killer. Now I am sure of one thing, and one thing only. That we will never be able to quantify her, for she is utterly unique. She was capable of acts of extraordinary kindness, and good. She was also capable of acts that were the basest of all mankind. That were truly evil. In all, that fragment of poem sums up Lilia perfectly. Just think about it. And while you are thinking, know that there are many more secrets and lies, locked deep away within Lilia's burning heart."

fini

"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster.

And if you gaze into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes also into you."

Friedrich Nietzche

Addendum: The Origin of Lilia

Now that this story is finally finished, I wanted to write a little about Lilia herself. Originally, I wanted three characters to interact with Clarice, in my previous story 'Lessons'. So, Matt Ito, Elias Irons and Lilia Derevko were born. During the writing of the third chapter, I decided Lilia would be the killer, but I also wrote it, so it could be seen as Elias at that time (so, in retrospect, if it'd turned out to be Matt, it probably would have surprised everyone more!).

Lilia herself was originally inspired by three people. Firstly to Russian Latin dancer: Lilia Kopylova. Secondly to Swedish actress Lena Olin (who plays Russian uber-spy Irina Derevko in spy drama Alias) - but more so the character than the actress herself. Finally, American actress and ballet dancer Summer Glau (who played the mentally disturbed River Tam in Joss Whedon's excellent Firefly, then later reprised her role in the follow-up film Serenity).

So I drew her name, physical characteristics, and some mannerisms from these three people, and then I started to write. And then got carried away. It was the weirdest thing, often it didn't feel at all as if I was writing most of the time, merely transcribing what was taking place in my head. Though it has been astonishingly difficult to write, it had also been the most wonderful experience.

So, in conclusion, I would like to thank Lilia, Lena, and Summer, for providing me with the inspiration to create this character, who I have loved writing about. I would like to thank, Dinloth, S, Starling Clarice M, Forensicgirl20, & hannibalth3cannibal, for all of your reviews, and kind words. And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank Penelope S. Cartwright, for asking me to write Her Burning Heart in the first place - in essence this story was for you -, and also thank you for the providing me with so much wonderful and usefull information about American culture, schools, and so much more, which I couldn't have done without your invaluable help.

So for that last time, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review.

And thank you.

JetNoir

26 September 2006

3:58 a.m.

Disclaimer: Hannibal is copyright to Thomas Harris; and the story, plus original characters to me. This story has been written on the understanding that you may read it and print it out; but you may not pass it off as your own, hire it out, or sell it for money. You also may not put it on your own or any other web page (that includes links) without my express written permission. Thankyou!

JetNoir