Illyria stood in the middle of the lobby, her eyes roaming around. Her head cocked to one side, she looked at Xander.

"What is that sensation?"

Xander looked up from his book, utterly confused.

"Huh?"

She was waving her hand through the air, almost as if she was trying to grab something invisible. Xander hopped off the counter and walked towards her, a quizzical look on his face.

"Seriously, what on earth are you doing?"

Almost on queue, a distant rumbling seemed to erupt from within the very walls. The earthquake took everyone by surprise. As Buffy and Willow immediately darted in to the nearest doorframe like the hardened California girls they were, Illyria simply looked around the hotel as huge pieces of masonry fell around her.

Xander and Giles raced in to the doorway between the main office and the staff space behind the counter, while Connor grabbed Illyria just in time to yank her away from where an enormous chunk of ceiling was about to land.

Lying on top of him, Illyria gave him a confused but thankful smile. Connor blushed profusely as he scrambled from underneath her. Embarrassed, he led Illyria back to the others. Spike was nowhere to be seen.

Eventually, the quake subsided and the gang ventured out, checking each other over. They cast each other relieved glances, moving together as if reassuring themselves that they really were alive.

Giles surveyed the rubble around them and the enormous cracks that had snaked their way through the walls. He sighed heavily, cleaning the dust off his glasses as he shook his head.

Xander walked up behind him, patting the former Watcher's shoulder with an impish grin.

"Times like this, I bet you wished you'd stayed in good old damp and dingy Blighty."

Giles replaced his glasses and gave Xander a withering look.

"Indeed… Nevertheless, I think we just received our first portent."

Buffy was frantically looking around them.

"Where's Spike? And Angel? He went upstairs but… Is there even an upstairs anymore?"

Her voice was shaking as Connor was brushing himself off, but as soon as he heard his father's name, he immediately raced upstairs. Buffy stared after him, silently wishing that she was the one who had gone but dutifully ventured outside to look for Spike.

As soon as she went in to the garden she found he was pretty easy to spot, his bleached blonde hair acting like a beacon in the shadows on the terrace. Buffy took a deep breath and stepped toward him.

"Spike? I was just checking you were ok what with the earthquake and all."

His voice was quiet, almost strained.

"I'm fine."

She wanted to turn around and go back inside but she forced herself to move towards him.

"Look, Spike, maybe we should talk."

He turned to face her. She raised her eyes to his and gasped. An enormous gash sliced across his right temple, blood spilling in to his eye. Buffy rushed forward, her hand reaching up to his wound. He took a step back and she paused, her hand hovering in mid air.

"Spike, please. Just let me check you out."

He stared at her for a moment and she was unable to read him at all. Eventually, he sighed and moved forward again. Buffy reached up to his forehead, standing on her tip toes as he bent his head slightly to let her examine him. Tentatively, she wiped the blood away from his eye, her face full of concern.

"Does it hurt?"

He swallowed hard, his stomach doing somersaults.

"Not anymore, love."

Their eyes locked and Buffy felt her heart pound. Her hand slid down his temple, tracing the angular cut of his cheekbones and stopping at his chest, her hand resting where his heart should have been thumping. He moved closer, his arms snaking around her waist as he leaned in. Buffy felt the anticipation, the excitement, the tingling, and she leant in too.

Suddenly, she stopped, pushing Spike away. For a moment, he looked at her surprised, but his features quickly changed to confusion and hurt. Buffy took a step backwards as she tried to gather herself.

"Spike…"

He shrugged, lighting a cigarette as he leaned on the railings. To anyone else, he wouldn't have looked at all bothered but Buffy could see the anger flash in his eyes.

"Don't bother, blondie, I get it."

She sighed, running a nervous hand through her dust-clogged hair.

"Really? Then do you mind explaining it to me because I'm still a little lost here."

She had aimed for funny but the look Spike shot her made it clear that she'd missed by miles. She moved to be closer to him while still retaining a fair distance.

"Why didn't you ever call me? When you came back, I mean. Why didn't you tell me?"

Spike laughed bitterly.

"Not really the kind of conversation I was jonesing for, pet. It was just easier…"

Buffy felt the anger and frustration at everything that had been happening rise up and she couldn't help but snap at him.

"Easier to what? Leave me thinking you were dead? Having Jonathan be the one to tell me you were back from the dead and sneaking around Rome? And with Angel, for god's sake? The two men in all my life who claimed to love me no matter what, keeping this enormous secret from me. How do you think that made me feel, huh?"

Spike turned on her, their anger practically causing sparks in the shadows.

"How it made you feel? I'm sorry for the news flash sweetheart, but the world doesn't revolve around you. I died for you, yeah, and that was probably the dumbest thing I ever did. Except for that long weekend with the slime demon…"

He shook his head, putting himself back on course as he jabbed a finger in her face.

"Look, I wasn't brought back because of anything to do with you. I wasn't around you and I didn't want to be. I was here and helping your brooding lump of an ex fight the Senior Partners while you were shaking your stuff around the bars of Rome with your latest immortal squeeze. You got a real thing for the undead, don't you love? Which is real funny when you think about it cos the undead seem to be losing their taste for you. I don't want you, Angel's got himself a real animal for a girlfriend, not to mention a son, and where exactly is your darling other half anyway? Huh?"

Despite her anger, Buffy couldn't keep the hurt from her face. Spike's scowl seemed to soften a little and he turned away, the long drag he took from his cigarette sending shadows dancing across his features.

"I never thought that you coming back had anything to do with me, Spike. I just wish you'd told me."

Her voice was quiet, almost resigned. He glanced at her, uncertain what to say and worried that he'd upset her. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

As Buffy looked on, Spike's shoulders slumped and he almost seemed to deflate in front of her. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"You want the truth, pet? I never wanted you to know I was here, that I was still alive. Well, as alive as a vampire gets."

She shook her head, totally confused.

"What? Why?"

He looked her straight in the eye and she felt the honesty there.

"Because I wanted you to remember me well. I wanted those final moments in Sunnydale, the time I finally did something right, to be what you remembered me for. That was the only way I could ever see you feeling anything close to love for me."

Buffy tore her eyes away, blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Just because some evil bastards decided to resurrect you, it doesn't erase the good that you did. You saved us. I haven't forgotten that. I would never forget that."

She offered him a sly smile.

"Hey, most of us have died at least once already."

Spike snorted with laughter.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It's bordering on unfashionable these days."

She moved next to him, leaning over the railings and staring down at the charred remnants of the impromptu funeral pyre. Buffy desperately wanted to get rid of the anger and frustration that was still eating away at her. She cast a slant glance in the vampire's direction.

"Giles better find me something to pummel pretty soon…"

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Careful love, you're starting to sound like big blue in there."

She shrugged.

"Maybe she's got the right idea, forcing another battle. I mean, you followed Angel to war when he did it and that weakened the Senior Partner's power."

"Yeah, but it took Cordelia to save us and we lost both Wesley and Gunn. So we may have weakened them, but they hurt us more."

"Ah, but that's why I'm here!"

Spike aimed a raised eyebrow at her and immediately regretted it as the pain shot through his forehead. He sucked in a breath through his teeth as his knees buckled and his vision swam.

Buffy shot forward, catching him easily. She swung his left arm over her shoulders and propped him up. He looked down at her and their eyes locked again, though this time there was no electricity, just mutual understanding.

"I know you never loved me, Buffy."

She smiled sadly.

"But that doesn't mean I didn't care, that I don't care now."

Spike's knees gave way again and she held him up. He didn't say anything. He didn't know what he could say. Buffy shifted his weight and gently nudged him forwards.

"Let's get you inside and fix you up."

Spike let her help him. He hated the fact that she wasn't his, he hated that he knew she never would be, but most of all he hated himself for ever daring to hope.

Hope was a dangerous thing.