Remus sat up, rested his chin in his hands, elbows on his knees, and regarded Sirius thoughtfully.

"Sirius," he asked slowly, "when that goblet landed on you…knowing full well that that was the first time I'd ever snogged a guy…"

He paused, and Sirius raised an enquiring eyebrow. "Yes?" he prompted.

"…did you have to ram your tongue down my throat?"

Sirius gave a short laugh and grinned. "You complaining, wolf-boy?"

Now it was Remus' turn to grin. "Not exactly…" he admitted. "But still," he added swiftly, glaring at the smirking boy, " It was a shock to the system."

"Then I apologise. "However," he added, raising a finger, "In my defence, I didn't tell a soul that just before you passed out, you were kissing back."

As Remus gaped at him, that mischievous glint, the one that Remus had come to dread, appeared in his eye.

"And it would not have been hard, considering the fact that you were unconscious."

Remus finally found his voice.

"You're kidding… I wouldn't…I'd …never…Did I really?"

"How do you think I knew you felt the same way?" He smiled. "Moony, I know you. Everything means something. You're not like me- if you hadn't felt anything for me, you'd have been passive. You would have let me do all the work, and just longed for it to be over and done with." He sobered. " You don't know how long I was waiting for that to happen…" he said softly.

Remus blinked. "How…long?"

Sirius smiled. "About a year, all told." He paused for a moment, and then continued. "You have no idea just how damned cute you are, do you?" he asked amusedly.

Remus went bright red, let out something that sounded somewhere between an incredulous laugh and choking.

"I mean, the way you growl when you're angry…and don't look at me like that, you know you do…the way you always have ink on your fingers, and chew the end of your quill when you're thinking what to write next… but I always thought you were straight as a die. It's why I never made a move."

At that, Remus laughed. "Pads! It's not like you to worry about making a fool of yourself."

Sirius smiled wryly. "You know, we've got a lot to thank James for."

Remus growled. "Do not mention that fiend…him and his bloody goblet."

Sirius looked at him wonderingly, shaking his head.

"God, you're hot when you do that," he said, and dived on him.

"Hey-" cut in Remus- or tried to, at any rate. Sirius was pressing his suit rather too vehemently for anything to emerge other than "Hmuphm". Remus managed to manoeuvre his hand to Sirius' forehead, using it to lever the dark boy off him. It wasn't actually that hard- he was quite a lot stronger.

"What's up, Moony?" asked Sirius, looking down at him with an intoxicatingly feral grin.

Remus looked up, and into his eyes. Properly.

"This is serious, isn't it?"

"No doubt about it." And he didn't even pick up on the usual pun, which was how Remus knew that he really did mean it.

"But…" and here Remus' voice dropped to a whisper, "I can't…can't tell the others. Not yet…"

Sirius smiled, and he shifted his balance slightly, leaving his left hand free to gently caress Remus' cheek.

"You don't have to," he murmured reassuringly, "and neither will I, if you don't want me to." He leaned down, kissing Remus softly on the cheek. "We'll keep this between ourselves…for as long as you need to."

Remus smiled properly now, and Sirius continued.

"I know this has to be hard for you…"

Remus gave a short laugh.

"…but I'm here, remember? I'm part and parcel. I'll always be here for you."

Remus blinked hard- his treacherous eyes had filled with tears. His thoughts cursed him- he never cried, and twice in one week…but Sirius smiled, slipping a comforting hand under Remus' back… and under his shirt. As Remus realised this, he stiffened suddenly.

Pushing Sirius away, he swung his legs off the bed, and sank his head into his hands,

"Moony?" asked Sirius softly, sounding concerned. "If you…I don't want to take this anywhere you're uncomfortable…"

Remus said nothing, but Sirius saw a tear slip thorough his fingers.

"Remus?" he added, and, sitting behind the boy, he put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

A half-stifled sob escaped Remus' lips.

"I can't."

It was so quiet that Sirius almost thought he'd imagined it.

"What?" he asked, almost fearfully.

"I can't…" Remus repeated, and as he turned towards Sirius, the other boy saw tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm a werewolf, Sirius. A bloody werewolf… How could I even think of being in a relationship? I just…"

He trailed off, suddenly aware that Sirius' expression had set hard.

"Sirius…?" he ventured, but was completely unprepared for his friend's reaction.

Fury.

Cold, hard fury.

"Just like that?" Sirius hissed, and Remus could tell he was fighting not to snarl. "Just like that? You give me a taste, one glorious taste, of what could be, and you take it away? JUST LIKE THAT?"

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but Sirius leapt off the bed, striding to the window before he could say a word.

"Sirius? I…" He faltered. "God, Sirius, you don't understand…" he finished desperately.

"Try me," spat Sirius, staring forcefully out of the window at the dark night and the forest beyond the glass. His knuckles whitened on the windowsill, and Remus could tell he was longing for something to hit. Something to hit hard.

Remus stood up slowly, trying to wipe away the tears that were drying on his cheeks, and cursed himself for being so weak.

The reason he had flinched when he felt Sirius' hand on his bare skin…and yes, he thought, oh yes…it had felt so good…the reason was that he had remembered.

Remus had remembered why he never went swimming in the lake, why, even on the hottest summer days, he never removed his shirt. Why, even now, he couldn't change clothes with the other boys in the room.

He bit his lip.

The scars…those scars…every one was a reminder. A reminder of pain, horror…from those nights. Every month, shut up away from the world. Alone…always alone…and feeling himself change.

Sirius probably wasn't even aware that he'd brushed one of them.

It wasn't the transformation he feared most. No. It was knowing that the wolf was inside him. When he changed, and the wolf began to surface, it was as though he looked out through a window on the world. Imprisoned in his own skull, he watched, and could never influence it, painful as it was to witness.

The wolf took over, and Remus could only watch helplessly…

And he could never speak of it. Not a word…ever…

He closed his eyes.

"Go on," he said quietly.

"What?" came Sirius' voice, almost inaudibly, though the boy continued staring out into the night.

"Go on." Remus took a deep breath, and continued. "Hit me. I know you want to. It'll help. I'll tell Pomfrey I collided with a door."

He saw Sirius' shoulders twitch for a moment, then the boy span around, his fist lashing out, and Remus staggered, his hand going to his face. He touched his eyes gingerly, and winced. Glancing up at Sirius, he saw the horrified look on the other boy's face.

"God…Moony, I'm so sorry. I never meant… God, Moony…"

"Its…its all right…" Remus managed to say. "I said you could."

"You're going to have a right black eye there," muttered Sirius wryly, touching a hand under Remus' chin to lift his face. Looking into his eyes, he sobered.

"Moony…Remus…I need you," he murmured, almost pleadingly.

The look in his eyes was too much for Remus to bear.

But…he was a werewolf. Could he ever truly-

"Oh, fuck-" he muttered, kissing Sirius.

As Sirius' arms slid slowly around his waist, Remus could feel him smiling. Then those lips opened against his, and…and…

…Sirius tasted…sweet. But not quite…almost…hot…like cinnamon…

Then Remus laughed inwardly at himself for being nonsensical. What Sirius really tasted of was shepherd's pie.

Which was no surprise, really, seeing as that was what they'd had for dinner.

Remus' favourite, as it happened.

"Hoi," cut in Sirius, breaking off the kiss for a moment. "Stop grinning to yourself, and come here…"

Remus awoke slowly- someone was shaking his shoulder.

"Moony, wake up, you're going to be late for breakfast…" James tailed off as Remus turned over, blinking owlishly at his bespectacled friend.

"Bloody hell, Moony, what happened to your eye?"

Remus sat up with a jolt. So it hadn't been a dream…He looked over James' shoulder to see Sirius, who was already dressed, and grinning rather sheepishly.

"That? Oh…um…hahah. I …er…collided with a doorknob. I tripped…" he explained lamely.

"Right," said James slowly, not quite believing him. Shaking his head, he left the room, following the unspoken rule that Remus always changed alone. The other two took his lead, and Remus was left to himself. He sighed, getting out of his pyjamas and pulling on his trousers.

But then, for the first time ever, the door opened again. It was Sirius, and Remus flushed red. He swiftly pulled his shirt over his head, but not in time to avoid the sharp intake of breath as Sirius saw the tracery of scars that covered his body. As Remus stood up, he deliberately avoided Sirius' gaze, shrugging on his robes.

"We'll be late for breakfast," he muttered, trying to leave, but Sirius stood firm in the doorway, stubbornly refusing to move.

"Not before I take you to the hospital wing. You can't go around looking like half a panda all day." That enigmatic trace of a smile quirked his lip as he surveyed his friend.

Remus couldn't help but grin.

"Half a panda? You know, that could be taken as an insult, were it not quite so ridiculous. All right, I'll go and see Pomfrey."

Gallantly, Sirius stepped aside, with a chivalrous "Ladies first." On seeing Remus' glare, however, he held up a placating hand. "Only kidding!"

"You'd better be," growled Remus, and recognised the look on Sirius' face just in time to dive out of the way. Sirius was not, however, blessed with such quick reactions, and hit his head on the bedpost that had been behind Remus. Remus was now, however, behind the bedpost, and Sirius blinked at him pleadingly, rubbing his forehead.

"No," said Remus firmly. "Not before breakfast." Steeling himself against the puppy dog eyes that were Sirius' last resort when wheedling him around (generally to let him copy his History of Magic essays), he glared at the boy.

"No! I mean it, Sirius. We haven't got the time."

Sirius looked downcast. "But after breakfast, we've got Potions… we can't be late for another lesson, not after last time. Slughorn threatened to make us test Wormtail's Polyjuice Potion the next time, and it was purple and bubbled… God only knows what it'd turn us into…please, Moony?"

It was hard to resist those eyes…oh, so hard- but Remus managed it.

"No," he said firmly. "You'll just have to wait."

But making Sirius wait, as Remus soon discovered, had its downside. When lunchtime rolled around, the minute Remus was out of the classroom, his shoelaces mysteriously untied themselves and tripped him up.

As he knelt down to re-tie them, he was sure he could see Sirius stowing away his wand in his sleeve. As soon as he straightened up, the corridor being empty by that time, he found himself being dragged by the scruff of his robes into the nearest broom-cupboard and slammed up against the back wall.

"Remus?" breathed Sirius in his ear, "Don't ever make me wait."