Fluff/humor attempt involving the Renegades... There's a contradiction in that somewhere. Wrote this at like 2 in the morning... sorry if it's not coherent. Beginning is an altered clipit from "Shards"

"A Renegade's Entertainment"
One day in the Renegade base Sylvarant...

"Ow, shit!"

Lloyd rubbed his scorched cheek and glared at the miniature pillar thingie.

"I can't believe a rock just bit me! You stupid..." He kicked at it, his time it was his toe that got cooked by purple light. "Ack, Damn it... I thought only fire burned! Ow ow ow!" He hopped a bit, brought his toe up and breathed on his toes, that were very visible since the boot had literally been cooked away. "Man this stinks." He sniffed and made a face. "In more then one way..."

He put his stinging foot down, and learned first hand -or rather foot- how cold the steel was. A quick glance around showed him where the "panels" were. They were the only thing not made of metal in the room. He stared at the green thing, walked across it, hopped up and down on it. Nothing, absolutely nothing. He sat, tapped his head with a finger trying to remember where he'd heard that sound before...

He recalled the time Genis had tossed a fireball in his father's smithy and set off a small explosion. No that hadn't made the right sound...
He recalled the water spell Genis used on him as they trekked through the dessert. Considering he was on cold steel tiled floor he quickly banished those thoughts.

Certainly wasn't wind mana, not earth mana, so what was left?
He rubbed his head, sparks snapped from his hair, and he had it!

Lightning! Thunder! Electricity! That was it!

Now all he needed was a small thunderstorm in room and he was set!
Then reality reared it's head... Without Genis he might as well be stuck, unless he wanted to rub his head against the tiles and hope that it would open the doors. But then staying here forever was pretty stupid, and if it worked... Well if it did he wouldn't say a word to Genis about how he did it. Taking a deep breath, hoping he was right, Lloyd went to the pedestal and with a grimace lowered his head.

X

Botta's eyes gleamed with humor, his lips twitched, his face beamed warmth that sometimes would bubble up in cases of the giggles. It had been like this for two days. One day, one instant, and Yuan would have ascribed it to the "giggles". That annoying epidemic that made fools of the most wise and grated on his nerves. Two days and he was forced to wonder if there was something plastered to his cape, a sticky reading "kick me" or something under those lines. For the supposed saviors of the world the Renegades could be rather childish, he'd put a stop to some very stupid pranks in his time as Leader and forlornly wondered if the fits of juvenile behavior were some result of Mithos holding the controls of the two worlds for far too long. Perhaps immaturity was a contagious thing, and it drifted on the mana that radiated out from the Tower.

If so it was another reason to see the blasted thing demolished.

Looking at his Second's suppressed grin and twinkling eyes Yuan told himself to check his cape after the man had left.

"Report." Yuan snapped, and at this show of ill humor, the actually inflection of bad mood coloring his words with a tint of anger, Botta did not sober up.

"The... Chosen and her companions... have last been seen approaching Ossa trail Sir."

"Is that it, is that all you have to say Second?"

"Yes Sir, permission to leave Sir?"

"Granted." Yuan stared at the clock on his desk and frowned, Botta had plead some duty around this time the day before... on the exact same hour even. This was a serious break in their custom, it was almost a break in protocol. Frowning, Yuan snapped his sapphire gaze up and narrowed his gaze so that it bore into Botta's back like a drill. "Hold it, Second Botta."

Botta froze, his white robes rustled about him he stopped so suddenly. Yuan pushed the chair back and stood, the only sound that marked his presence was the whispered of his cape behind him, he stopped a step away from his humored Second, then crossed his arms in front of his chest. Had it been anyone else under his glare and impassive arms-crossed pose they'd have been stewing in their own sweat. Botta was more relaxed around his superior then any of the other Renegades, but than that relaxation was based on the tentative friendship between them.

"I find it very... fascinating that for two days straight you have had pressing business on the second hour past noon that demands you leave my presence."

"I am busy Sir, and have business on this hour."
"And I also find it fascinating that when you leave it is much like the air of a child going to the candy store."

"Ah..." Botta blinked, and there came that sheen of sweat appeared on his brow and faint scent of fear Yuan was oh so accustomed to scenting now hung in the air.

"If you would enlighten me upon what exactly you are doing I might find it in my heart to let you go."

"We are going over the security tapes... Sir... to study the weakness' in the bases' ah... defenses." Botta swallowed nervously.

"Indeed..." Yuan frowned. "If you were then why are you so scared Botta? You look like I've caught you rummaging through my possessions."

"I am not used to being interrogated Sir."

"Until I get a fuller answer Botta, get used to being questioned. If I find any of the men have even put one camera or tape recorder in my private chambers there will be heads rolling on the floor. Literally. Now get out." Yuan went to his chair, sank into the leather and was all but obscured by the mess of papers on his desk. He reached up, took a handful and snatched up a pen, burrowing himself in the asinine day to day work running a bureaucratic organization entailed.

"Sir... we wouldn't do that... The Renegades respect you too much for any of us to even discuss doing that."

"It's not respect Second, it's fear, nothing more nothing less."

Botta made a noise of protest but he did leave, perhaps the man realized his chat with Yuan was going to make him late to whatever entertainment he had stumbled over. Uncaring, or rather putting on the facade of indifference Yuan went over the first paper...

Sylvarant's Trietian base was making a request for more water to be sent so they wouldn't be leaching off of the human settlement's scant supplies. A good cause... but where to get that water, that was an issue. Finder drumming into the desk, mind wandering over a few plans, it wasn't long before Botta and his little entertainment were long forgotten.

X

"Sir, umm Botta, you made it!" A black clad man sporting a shiny steel helmet smiled and waved upon seeing him. "Does Lord Yuan give you too much work or what?"

"Something like that." Botta smiled at Aroon, the younger Renegade swordsman chuckled at his superior's follow up question. "How was patrol?"
"Slow... boring... even the bandits are getting bored, no ones trying to kill each other anymore. We just tromp in a hundred plus weather cookin' our brains in these..." Aroon tapped the helmet and Botta chuckled. "And scare humans to make it look like there is a Desian camp somewhere out there."

"Ah." Botta sniffed the air, there was a hint of fire mana, butter about the room. The sound of corn seedlings bursting into nice, white, fluffy popcorn made him smile.

"So... you do have it right?"

Grinning Botta summoned the disk, and it appeared in his hand with a flash of red light.

"Alright!" Aroon laughed. "Damn those Tethe'allan Renegades, they got to watch it first! Talk about being on the short end of the stick. They always get the good stuff first."

"Oh stop whining and put it in!" Called a Renegade who was done setting up the projector disk. They'd set the playing disk -the one in Botta's hand- on the three foot long disk on the floor and all images on the "playing disk" would be revealed in three dimensional glory. It made the Tethe'allan device called "television" seem like a joke.

"It could be worse." Botta said, handing the disk to Aroon. "They had to watch it on TV, we get the Projector."

Seeing that the food was being handled by the few Renegades who could cook, and the refreshment table for this miniature party was almost done being set up he decided to help the Renegades who were setting up the thirty or so chairs. The only bad thing was that this disk would have to be used several times, since it was only possible for thirty people to comfortably be fit in the room with the Projector. Botta wondered how many viewings he could squeak in before Yuan became really suspicious, and decided he'd get in as many as he could.

He'd seen this before, of course they all had seen it before as Yuan had shown it to them to rail about how bad security was. After all a child with wooden swords breaking out of their base was inexcusable... But when a Renegade with a slip of humor had seen those tapes he'd requested a copy and had made some alterations.

"And here we see test subject Lloyd whatever his last name is name watching the game of poker being played..."

They were playing it now? There were some cat calls, some whining, and the person who had accidently pressed play turned it off and reset it. Already there were some snickers from the gathered Renegades, and Botta decided that whoever had made that comparison to the narrator sounding like a girly Yuan was absolutely correct. The idea of listening to that narrator for a good half hour sounded nice, especially since he had to deal with the real and completely humorless Yuan day in and day out.
X

It was over in a half hour, a well spent half hour, and after hearing that he knew he'd not be able to look the real Yuan in the face without breaking out into laughter. Still chuckling to himself he made his way to his office to tackle the paperwork that being Yuan's second entailed. There were times he felt the fool for taking the job of Second, the paperwork if nothing else... That was perhaps on of the most Hellish aspect of his work. Opening the door there greeted him a castle load of papers, if he sat at his chair he'd be hidden save for the spikes of his hair.

Being a Renegade foot solder again never seemed so alluring.

Initial mental grumbling aside Botta took his seat and snatched at the top of the nearest pile. It was time to get to work. Overall it was dull, plodding, but a lot of it demanded that he answer it immediately so he spent several hours at his desk and only called it quits when the mana fueled clock on the wall told him it was ten-o-clock. He was half awake, half asleep, and considering the mountain load of responsibility he had the fuddled state that left him in it was the closest to "drunk" he'd been in ages. His keen mind scattered it's thoughts and happily drifted to images of a soft feather mattress and linen sheets. So he picked up the papers that he was to turn in to Yuan.

He thought for a second on the humorless dour Seraph, considered that the man had probably not left his desk in a day...

Later he would say that it must have been his sleep deprivation that made him do it, but whatever the cause he put in the last paper in the "go to Yuan" pile, picked up the lot of it, then shuffled off to his superior's office. He failed to notice that the altered disk was missing from his desk.

X

"Botta, is that all for me? I just cleared off my desk and you give me more to do, I'd be touched... but I'm not." Botta did not rise to the sarcasm or teasing, and spying the black rings and bleary eyes the blue haired Seraph did not wonder as to why. Botta muttered a few words, a genuine lack of sleep on black haired half elf's part blurring them so that even his keep ears couldn't tell him what they were. He dismissed his Second with a curt "Get to sleep you look like Hell" then stared at the first bit of white on his once clear desk.

"Rene... you were right, I should have just kept this small. You were always warning me about the paper work and I should have just listened to you instead of going on about how much better I am then a mortal to tending everything. Now look at me... I'm a damned Bureaucrat!" Yuan let out a bark of laughter. "You and Martel must be having a laugh about all of this now..."

Yuan smiled, ran a digit over his wedding ring.
"But we're getting closer, so close to a time where we can actually hurt them, so it will be worth it in the end..."

Talking to the ghosts of his past however was not conductive to clearing off his desk, so he reached out and picked up the last of the paperwork. Perhaps if he got it all done before two in the morning he'd reward himself by attempting to sleep. Now there was a pleasing thought! Smiling the Seraph picked off the first paper, as he reached for a pen a glint of metal caught his attention.

"What the...?"

Yuan pulled out a small hand held disk that was compatible with a projector or the newer models of the Tethe'allan television.

Written on the front in large but stark black lettering was "Entertainment R. Meros, 7, origca 4242, camera unit xs984E3"

"Entertainment hmmm..." Yuan considered the disk, considered his desk. He had a mini-projector unit, while the image would be small he could at least listen to it and snatch peeks while he was working. "It's worth a shot... Let's see what they find amusing then."

He got very little work done that evening.

X

The guards who held evening watch outside of Yuan's office blinked, was that... snickering? They looked at each other in askance, but none had the courage to go to the door and disturb their Lord. They almost hopped out of their plate mail when the heard a high pitched laughter arched through the air and a few muffled curses punctured by wheezes drifted through the steel door and to their ears.

"What in God's name is going on in there, has he finally...?" The younger whispered, then put a finger to his temple and spun it in a circle to give the universal sign for nuts.

"Eyes forward, ears closed, just keep telling yourself that." Muttered the senor guard.

"But..."

"Do you want to be fried with a shock orb?"

"No sir!"

"Then just don't ask him anything when he finally does come out."

X
Custom dictated that he was to report to Yuan in the morning, go to his office and begin any paperwork that had been left for him the night before, then oversee what patrols were under maned. He did so, Yuan had stared at him strangely but had curtly ordered him from the office after a mere second of stepping inside. This break of tradition, this lack of briefing on the Chosen or... anything was a bit alarming. Still Botta did as ordered and went through with the rest of his routine. Upon returning he tackled the last of his paperwork and found someone had inserted an envelope with a few scrawls in a language he couldn't quite read. Frowning Botta ripped the thing open, and a small hand sized disk slipped out.

Oh my Goddess, I gave this to him. When... it must of been last... Did he watch-

Botta felt his mouth sag open, terror, horror, fear, flashed across his eyes and he stared in numb shock as a small slip of paper slid out of the envelope. With a trembling hand he unfolded it, the letter quaked in his hand making it all the more harder to read.

Second Botta,

I imagine you need this back for today's Renegade Entertainment. The contents were... interesting to say the least. I would like to know the identity of the man who made this it seems as if he needs a faulty castration procedure reversed.

Lord Yuan

Botta stared at the note, did not blink for a long time, and like that day almost twenty years ago when he got his first note from Yuan declaring his promotion Botta reached out and pinched his arm. He did not wake up, nor did the letter's writing changed.

He read the letter again and the horror drained out of him, and a faint hint of a smile touched his face.

Perhaps his Lord was not as humorless as he had thought.