Title: RUNNING AWAY TO PEACE
FINDING KENDALL
"Hello Kendall." Erica said softly so not to scare her daughter.
Kendall finished washing her black cargo pants in the steam and stood slowly up. She wrung all the extra water from the material before turning around to face her mother. "Hello Mother." She said as she moved to the right and walked past her mother towards her clothes line to the right of the cottage that she had bought on her first outing in Kona, Hawaii. "Welcome to my humble home."
"It's you. I can see why you feel in love with it." Erica looked slowly around her at the wonderful and peaceful view that she knew her oldest daughter had been seeking her entire life. "It's so peaceful here."
"Yes isn't it." Kendall said as she hung up her cargo pants. "Are you here alone?" She kept her eyes at the lush green valley hill top in front of her.
"No." Erica replied truthfully.
"I knew it." Kendall sighed deeply. "So who came with you?"
"Bianca and Miranda are in the jeep waiting for the ok." Erica replied.
Kendall turned her eyes and looked behind her mother into the jeep where she saw her younger sister's somewhat relieved and somewhat worried face staring right back at her. Her face lit up in a soft smile at the sight of her smiling year old niece in her mother's arms. She nodded once and the door to the jeep open and with Miranda in her arms Bianca stepped out.
"Jackson, Greenlee, Reggie, Ryan, Lily and Maggie are back at the hotel." Erica said relieved to see the softness in her oldest daughters' face at the sight of Bianca and Miranda. "They wont come until you are ready to see them."
"I'm surprised Jack would allow Ryan to be anywhere near Greenlee and Lily. Last time I checked Jack was angry at Ryan." Kendall said looking back at her mother. She walked towards the all ready open front door of her home. "You guys can come in if you want to." With that she walked into her home. She saw with relief that it was neat and tidy; just the way her mother liked it.
Bianca entered the cottage ahead of her mother. She walked over to Kendall and handed Miranda over to her sister. She stepped back to allow Kendall now with Miranda in her arms to pass her into the living room area. She felt her mother stop next to her and the two women watched aunt and niece bond once again.
IN THE HOTEL ROOM
Zach walked into the rom. He looked around at the family gathered there. "I see that Erica, Bianca and Miranda went off to confront Kendall."
"To comfort Kendall; not confront." Ryan glared at the older man. "What are you doing here Slater."
"I care about Kendall." Zach said. "She walked out on me remember Levrey. I would never walk out on her. I would never hurt her."
"The best thing she did was walk out on you Slater; or should I say Cambias." Ryan sneered.
"No the best thing she did was kick Ethan out of her bed and her heart." Greenlee pointed out with a raised hand. "Look everyone in this room loves and cares about Kendall. We are all here to make Kendall realize that she is loved." She looked over at her husband and than over at Zach.
"Greenlee is right." Zach sighed and walked over and sat down in the chair that was closets to where Ryan was sitting on the couch. "I want what is best for Kendall. I honesty thought that I could protect her from all the hurt in the world. But I was wrong."
Jackson sighed deeply as he stared stonily out of the hotel's window; he didn't really see the way the sunset on the most beautiful beach that Hawaii had to offer; that the world had to offer. He thought back to the day of Zach and Kendall's wedding. The day that Kendall ran off without letting anyone know where she was headed.
Flashback
Whirlwind Chapel was filled with well wishes for the bride and the groom. Zach looking worriedly at the open door way where the bridesmaids had just entered; he waited patiently for Kendall to step in the door frame and to take hold of the waiting Jackson's arm to begin her walk down the isle towards him.
Erica looked first at Zach than over at Bianca who had Miranda in her arms; than turned her body fully to the waiting Jackson. She could feel the worried feeling in her husband's body as he debated whether or not to go into the hallway to see if Kendall was all right. She decided to take the lead and go after her daughter herself. After all Kendall needed her mother at this time not her stepfather. She slowly got to her feet and walked down the isle and gently gripped her husband's arm before going through the open door way into the waiting area fully expecting to see a very nervous Kendall.
Bianca felt uneasy and moved past Greenlee with Miranda and walked slowly down the silent isle; the isle that she had just previously walked down to the front of the chapel. She passed her silent uncle into the hallway. She all ready knew that Kendall wouldn't be pacing back and forth all nervous about getting married for the second time in her life. She knew her sister wasn't going to get married that day. She saw the concern and all knowing look her mother gave her in the empty entry way. She nodded and both Kane women with Miranda went looking for Kendall.
They came back to Whirlwind and told Zach and the family who were waiting for any news in the family room that Kendall wasn't at her condo; or Zach's, she wasn't at the penthouse or at Greenlee's. She wasn't at Ryan's, she wasn't at Jackson's loft. She wasn't at 'Enchainment', 'Fusion', or 'New Beginnings'. Matter of fact she wasn't in Pine Valley any longer.
End of Flashback
"Why are you here Slater?" Ryan glowed under the watchful eye of the room full of people who all were glaring over at him. "When we found out that Kendall was in Kona; we ordered both you and Ethan to stay put in Pine Valley."
"Kendall needs me." Zach said softly. "Kendall knows that I care about her that I will always care about her. That I will always be around to protect her. Weather that as her husband or just a friend."
"Kendall doesn't need another Cambias using her." Ryan shook his head.
"At least I don't want to change Kendall Hart; Levrey." Zach pointed out steely.
Ryan jumped to his feet and stormed from the room allowing the door to slam shut behind him.
"That was a low blow Zach." Greenlee glared up into Zach's eyes.
"Not my fault Ryan can't take the truth." Zach said with a shrug. "Not my fault that Ryan knows he can't save Kendall from herself this time. That his playing hero to her is all over."
"So I take it you think you can take over!" Greenlee demanded.
"Kendall can take care of Kendall." Zach said firmly. "Kendall is here because she knows that she has to learns to stand on her own two feet on her own terms."
NO MORE SMOKE SCREENS
"Hello Mimo. I have missed you so much." Kendall whispered in her niece's ear as she drew Miranda's head closer so she could kiss her niece repeating on the right side of Miranda's head. She tightened her hold on her beloved niece as the void deepened in her heart and soul. She couldn't keep the tears in any longer; she allowed her tears to fall freely onto Miranda's face.
Miranda didn't mind the wetness of her aunts tears on her face. She was actually quite used to adults tears on her skin by now. First her mommy's, than her aunt's, than her grandmother's, than her mommy's best friend, than her great uncle, than her cousins's, than just strangers to her but not to her mommy. She moved her body even closer so that her aunt could hold and cry on her even more deeply.
Erica watched the scene between Kendall and Miranda through bleary eyes and saw from the corner of her right eyes Bianca rapidly wiping tears from her checks. "So how are you really Kendall?" She asked as she found her voice again.
Kendall didn't answer. She didn't move from her position of having her head on top of Miranda's head with her eyes closed. She didn't want to face her mother and sister quite yet. She didn't want to deal with the present; all she wanted to do was be in the moment. Just her and Miranda.
Bianca walked over to her sister and her daughter. "I love you Kendall." She said as she stood right in front of her sister.
Kendall opened her eyes and stared deep into Bianca's and saw the truth in them. She nodded. She bent and kissed Miranda's head and turned around and faced her mother. "No more smoke screens right mom?"
Erica nodded. "Right." She knew her oldest daughter remembered their talk out side of the contraction site of Miranda Mono Montgomery Memorial Center; back when they all thought Miranda was taken from them.
"How is Zach? Is he very angry?" Kendall asked.
"No. Matter of fact I have a feeling he is back at the hotel room waiting for the ok to see you." Erica said. "He didn't come to Hawaii with us. But I left word for him to let him know that we had located you and that we were coming to get you."
"Who says I'm going back!" Kendall demanded moving over to the over stuffed flowery chair and sitting down; making sure Miranda was not shaken to much. "This is my home now."
Bianca and Erica looked at each other silently knowing the tone in Kendall's voice. They had to preside very carefully to get Kendall back from the place that she was at. One false move and Kendall would be taken from them for good.
Miranda snuggled more closer against Kendall's chest closing her eyes as she got into a more comfortable position for her afternoon nap. She felt her aunt's arms wrap more tightly but more comfortable around her back. She listened to the beating of her aunt's heart; knowing each beat for what it was worth.
"Do you mind if we live here with you." Bianca gently asked. "Miranda will not be able to be apart from her Aunty Kendall any longer. The first time was way to long for her. The second time wasn't a piece of cake eighter. The third time was enough for her. I will not put her through missing you for a fourth time in her life." She stared long and hard into her sister's eyes.
"Relocating to Hawaii wont be to bad." Erica nodded her head. "You have picked a topical paradise for the family to live in; Kendall."
"Hawaii is mine mom. No one else. Just mine." Kendall looked up into her mother's eyes.
Erica shook her head. "No Kendall. I wont allow you to do this. I can't allow you to do this. You can't live like a hermit. You know that no human being can live all alone. It's impossible!"
"I know I can't live all alone. I'm not alone here mother. The Hawaiian's are here; the tourist are here. I don't stay holed up in my mountain of peace for any long periods of time. I do go into town; I do socialize with the town." Kendall hotly defended herself.
Miranda moved and whined at the sudden anger in Kendall's voice. She didn't want to open her eyes. She just wanted to sleep peaceful in her beloved aunt's arms. Why couldn't her aunt realize that and obey her. Her mother obeyed her when she wanted her too; so did grandma Erica; and so did Maggie. Why not Kendall. Miranda sighed deeply as she yet again realized what a stubborn and strong willed person her aunt truly was.
Kendall bent and kissed the top of Miranda's head gently. "I'm sorry Mimo. I didn't mean to be so harsh. You go back to sleep. I promise I'll be good."
Bianca successfully hid the smile that played upon her lips. She knew that Miranda would keep Kendall calm; in a way that Bianca never could for her sister. She knew her daughter was Kendall's solid life jacket in life. She sat back in her chair watching her sister with her daughter interact carefully as her mother and sister continued along the same tack.
"You can't live without your family Kendall." Erica said gently. "Without Bianca, Miranda, Jackson, Reggie and Lily. Even Greenlee." She smiled slightly on the last note.
Kendall looked up into her mother's eyes. "You missed one important person; mom."
"Oh and who is that?" Erica very well knew; but she wanted Kendall to say it not her.
"You mother. You." Tears fell from Kendall's eyes finally on that note. She felt Miranda move even closer to her left breast. She felt peace as the truth and the true feelings over came her yet again as she freely admitted her love for her mother.
Bianca didn't hide the smile that came to her lips this time. She felt wetness on her checks and she brought her hands up to wipe away the tears.
"Also Zach. I mean Alex." Erica said with a sniffle.
"That's the first time you are willing to welcome Alex into the family mom." Kendall said in her normal voice. "I ruined it for good with Alex. He wouldn't have me any longer. I don't blame him. I hurt him to much."
"Alex ..." Bianca paused for a split second before she said the word love; because Zach had told her not to tell Kendall that he loved her. Not yet. Not till Kendall was ready. "cares deeply for you Kendall. He understands why you stood him at the alter. He doesn't blame you. He's not angry. He is just worried; very worried for you." She said.
"I didn't mean to make him worry about me." Kendall shook her head. "I didn't mean to make him feel anything for me. He shouldn't have felt anything for me. It wasn't part of our bargain. We were going to get married strictly for business reasons. Mine to protect Miranda and Bianca in the Cambias fight. His to get his casino's up and running in my name." She looked down at the sleeping Miranda. "He wasn't going to have feelings for me. I told him ... no I ordered him not to have feelings for me. Not friendship noting."
"How can he not have feelings for you Kendall? How can anyone not have feelings for you. Feelings as love, happy, joy, caring, anger, jealously. Every feeling that is known to human kind. For Zach ... no for Alex Cambias Jr. not to have feelings is like for him not being a human being." Bianca chided gently as she got out of the chair and moved and knelt down in front of her sister. She placed a hand on top of Miranda's head. She looked into Kendall's eyes. "Feelings Kendall. That is what separates us from mere objects."
"Zach Slater loves Maria. He is now free to go to Maria and claim her as his own. It's been a year and a half since Edmund's death. Sammy and Maddie aren't blaming Zach for Edmund's death or for trying to steal their mother away." Kendall said softly holding Bianca's eyes with her own. "By my walking away from Alex; I set him free to be the one whom he truly loves."
"Zach Slater loved Maria Grey. Not Alexander Cambias Jr." Bianca said gently holding her sister's eyes with her own. "Alexander Cambias Jr. cares deeply for Kendall Hart ..." She smiled softly. "Nee Kendall Kane."
"That's the first time anyone called me a Kane." Kendall whispered.
"You are a Kane woman Kendall. When I finally accepted you back into my life I should have legally changed your last name to be Kane. I'm sorry that I hadn't thought of that." Erica said from where she still sat straight up with tears steaming down her checks. "When we go back home; I'll have Olivia change it on your birth certificate."
Neither Bianca or Kendall acknowledge their mother. They were locked into a sister bond that not even their mother could intrude. Erica didn't mind; she knew right now the only person Kendall would allow to help her was Bianca.
"It's too late." Kendall shook her head. "I didn't ask Alex to care for me. Matter of fact Alex and I have a agreement. No feelings at all. It was a purely business marriage ... I all ready said that today didn't I."
"How do you feel about Alex?" Bianca softly asked.
"I don't have feelings for Alex ... Zach Slater." Kendall said quickly; all too quickly
"Yes you do." Bianca said truthfully.
"No I don't." Kendall quickly lied.
"No more smoke screens, Kendall." Erica said firmly.
"This isn't a smoke screen mother. It's the plain truth." Kendall finally looked over at her mother. "I can't afford to have feelings for anyone."
"What about us?" Erica demanded hotly.
"You are my mother." Kendall looked over at Bianca "You are my sister." She looked down at Miranda. "And you Mimo are my niece." She looked back over at Erica. "And Mono is my grandmother." She said firmly. "You are ..." She smiled suddenly. "We are the Kane women."
"What about the rest of the family?" Erica asked.
"Jackson is my father." Kendall nodded. "That I thank you for mother. For bringing Jackson Montgomery into my life."
"You are welcome." Erica smiled softly. She wanted to say more but wisely kept her mouth shut. She waited for her oldest daughter to finish with what she wanted to say.
"Lily is my baby sister, Reggie is my little brother, Greenlee is well she's Greenlee. Ryan is my step brother in law and nothing more." Kendall said. "Trey is my half brother." She was relieved to see that Erica didn't winch at Trey's name. She had hope that Trey would finally be welcomed into the Kane/Montgomery family once his prison sentence is up in another year.
"How do you feel about us?" Bianca asked.
"Love, anger, trust, mis trust, jealous, hatred, compassionate." Kendall said holding Miranda closer to her. "Mostly love."
"How do you feel for Zach?" Bianca asked quietly.
"Love, anger, trust, mis trust, jealous, hatred compassionate." Kendall said not taking her eyes off of Miranda's sleeping face.
"Than how can you say you have no feelings for Zach?" Bianca asked leaning forward in her seat.
Kendall remained silent. She kept staring into Miranda's face. Her sweet and innocent face.
GLAD TIDINGS ... OR MIXED BLESSINGS
Ethan leaned back in his chair and put up his feet. He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. "Now this is what I call the best non wedding I have ever attended. How about you Junior." He smirked over at JR. who was beside himself in glee.
"To an unhappy reunion gone burst." JR. held up his glass of scotch. "Man I'm good. I had to admit that I was worried that Kendall would actually go through with the sham of a marriage with Zach Slater." He shook his head as he brought the glass to his lips and took a nice smooth long swallow of the '66 Irish scotch.
"What did you actually do JR?" Ethan looked over at his nemesis. "Would you have to such lengths if Kendall and I were going to get married?"
"Why of course my friend. Of course." JR smirked as he brought the glass down to his lap. "Kendall is mine. Always was and always will. I keep what is mine."
Ethan shook his head. "You are just a kid Junior. Just a kid that Kendall finds amusing. Just a kid that Kendall knows that she could "save" from her way of life." He frowned. "Not that she is having much luck these days."
JR's eyes harden. "Shut your mouth about things you don't understand; Camb ... Ramsey."
Ethan sat up straight and leaned forward with equal hard eyes. "I have ruined my chances with Kendall Hart for all time. Kendall was never mine. I see that now. Not because of my lies to her; but Kendall was never mine."
"Kendall's mine." JR said.
Ethan had to smile on that. "No Kendall isn't yours. She's not Ryan's eighter. She's ..." He shook his head. "No Kendall must come to realize that on her own. I wont put it out there."
"Back to what I did to end Kendall and Zach's sham of a wedding." JR said leaning back in his chair and bringing his glass of scotch back to his lips.
Ethan waved his hand. "Never mind. I don't care anymore."
JR raised his eyebrows over his glass. He took a long swallow and brought it the glass back down to his lap. "I ended the realiship between your father and Kendall. Now stop destroying my families' company."
Ethan sighed deeply and looked straight into JR's eyes and into the younger man's soul. "I'm only doing this for Little Adam. I don't want an innocent child to lose his inheritance. Unlike what you were trying to do with my cousin Miranda."
"I thought Miranda was my daughter Bess." JR defended his actions. "I couldn't lose my child. Not to Bianca not to anyone."
"Miranda wasn't yours JR." Ethan frowned. "Deep down you knew who baby you picked up off that mountain side; in the fake helicopter crash that Paul set up." He stood to his feet and leaned forward. "Don't even try to lie to me Adam Chandler Junior. I know the truth. I see the truth in your eyes."
JR very slowly brought the chair forward once again and got to his feet. He leaned forward into the desk and stared straight into Ethan Cambias's eyes that were a mere inch away from his face. "Don't ever tell me that I always knew the truth about Miranda. Don't ever tell me that I didn't love my daughter; that I was devastated that I lost my precious little girl. Bess was a compete "daddy's girl"."
IN THE HOTEL ROOM
"I hope Ryan doesn't locate an Hawaiian fight club." Reggie snorted through his noise.
"We aren't in Hawaii to deal with Ryan's problems. We are here solely for Kendall." Zach frowned as he looked sternly into Greenlee's eyes.
"I know that Zach. Ryan knows that. He wont do anything to take away from Kendall's healing. He's not that selfish." Greenlee nodded softly. She suddenly smiled.
"The baby is kicking up a storm hmmm." Zach had to smile as he watched how loving Greenlee placed her hand on her swelling belly. All due because of her great faith that this child; her and Ryan's child will save Ryan from going into the dark side that his father and brothers had chosen to do. He admired her for the faith.
Before Greenlee could answer the door opened and Ryan came into the room. "Sorry I was out so long. I had to clear my head and my temper." He walked over to stand in front of Zach. "I'm sorry for my temper Zach. I know you are the man after Kendall's heart had known it since the first moment we first met in Erica's Las Vegas hotel room. It is just hard to let go of protecting someone who really doesn't need my protection any more."
"Kendall always needs your protection Ryan." Zach nodded. "I'm not trying to take that away from you."
Ryan nodded. "Even through I want to be through with Kendall Hart for all time; I can't leave her alone in the world. Even through she makes me so angry some times."
"She still needs to know that you will be there for her no matter what." Jackson said from his place by the window where he had been leaning against watching his son and law and his almost step son in law chatting. "Kendall isn't like any other person you have met in this world. Kendall's baggage is going to be with her no matter how much she tries to get rid of it."
"But J. Kendall knows that we love her. Bianca, her mother, you, Lily, Greenpea, Ryan, Zach, Mrytal and I." Reggie said getting to his feet. "Why can't that be enough."
"Because Kendall can't always trust in that love." Lily spoke up for the first time since the family entered the hotel room.
"Why?" Reggie shook his head.
"Too much anger happened when Kendall fought for the love that she craved her entire life." Greenlee sighed. "The only love she can fully count one are Bianca and Miranda. Bianca because Bianca had never ever said anything cruel to Kendall; Kendall always knew that when Bianca lost her temper with her it was because the truth needed to be said. Miranda because Miranda was born after Kendall had gained Bianca's love finally."
UNBREAKABLE BOND
"Kendall." Bianca said as she laid a hand gently on top of Kendall's hand which was wrapped around Miranda's back. "What are you so afraid of?"
"Being so destroyed that I can not heal myself." The tears finally fell from Kendall's hot eyes. "If all the good and wonderful feelings are my down fall than I wont be strong enough to live to be a hundred."
"Yes you will." Bianca said softly. "You are a fighter Kendall. You were born to fight. In the beginning you fought for all the good in life; than some where down the line you learned the harsh truth of life and you fought for the bad. Than you came to Pine Valley and knew who your mother was and you began to fight for her love and a place in her life. You just fought the wrong way in the beginning. But you learned how to fight the right and you won. You know how to fight for all the good and wonderful things that life has in store for you. You my darling Kendall will never cease the fight."
END PART ONE