A/N: Thanks to everyone for your well-wishes. It was greatly appreciated. I visited an old friend for a few days. We went paddleboarding, drank some drinks, smoked some dope, sat by the fire, and had our requisite viewing of Dr Horrible. It was greatly needed and I kind of am starting to feel… human-adjacent again!

Chapter 16

Sookie had spent most of the morning at the Bon Temps library. Barbara Beck, the librarian, had shown her how to use the word processing program on the computer and Sookie had typed up a new resume. She spent the afternoon handing them out to every bar and restaurant in the parish. She was really hoping to drum up some interest, although she wasn't sure if she could afford the gas money if one of the jobs further away panned out. She figured that she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

She decided that she would call Sam later on that night, even though she couldn't really afford that, either. She knew that he would be happy to give her an excellent reference. Maybe he could even help her get a foot in the door. She hated to ask, but she knew that he would want her to. But, really, she just wanted to talk to him. He was pretty much the only friend she had left and she hadn't really realized how much she'd missed him until right then. That made her feel a little guilty. Even more when she remembered why her attention had been elsewhere. She knew how Sam felt about her and, even though she didn't feel the same way, it still made her feel bad.

When she got back home, she was exhausted. It felt like she always was lately. She heated up a can of soup that she didn't even taste and then sat down on the couch. She tried to watch tv to distract herself, but her mind kept going back to him, no matter how much she tried to stop it. Her Eric. It was like all of the thoughts that she hadn't had time to think during the day were flooding her mind, hitting her all at once. Like a dam bursting. She tried to stop them, but eventually she gave up and went to her bedroom and climbed into bed. It wasn't even seven thirty but she got under the covers anyway.

It was very much like how she'd felt in the days after Gran had died, although it was different, too. They both were gone and never coming back, and she was surrounded by the memories of both of them. But, of course, Gran didn't have an evil twin, seemingly set on rubbing her loss in Sookie's face.

She grabbed the pillow he'd used and hugged it, burying her face in the soft linen and breathing deeply through her nose. She hadn't been able to make herself change the pillowcase when she'd stripped and remade the bed that morning. It still smelled like him, or maybe it was her imagination. It didn't matter. It brought her comfort, even if it hurt a little, too. She knew that there was no way that she would be able to turn off her thoughts, so she decided to lose herself in them instead.

She closed her eyes and remembered just how wonderful he was and how happy they'd been together. How loving him and being loved by him had made her feel. There was a pain in her chest but she was eventually able to relive some of her favourite moments and feel the sweet with the bitter.

And she could admit tonight that part of her had been happy to see him the night before, regardless of how much it had hurt. And that she'd still been turned on by him, and not just because of the memories of the sweet Eric she knew. She remembered the cocky grin he'd given her the night before last, when she'd been making love to the wrong one. She'd seen it again last night, and it had made her feel some kind of way, at least until she'd boxed that thought up and packed it away, hopefully for good. He was dangerous. Unfortunately, she was afraid that the danger could end up being part of his charm.

But, all in all, she felt a little bit better. Moreso for not letting herself get pulled into another full-blown pity party. She dragged herself out of bed and took a shower and pulled on her Tweety Bird nightshirt. She cast out her mental net and sensed nobody nearby, alive or dead. Good.

She poured herself a glass of milk and sat on the stool at the counter. She could picture Gran sitting right there, talking on the phone to Maxine Fortenberry or one of her Descendants of the Glorious Dead or book club friends.

Sam's number was on the notepad between the phone and the word of the day calendar — today's was tumult — and she picked up the receiver and dialled.

"Hello?"

When she heard his voice, she smiled the first honest, natural smile that she'd had since her world had turned upside down for the umpteenth time in the past year. She also started to cry. She couldn't keep either out of her voice.

"Hey, Sam."

"What's the matter, Chère? Is Andy still giving you a hard time?"

She laughed a little and it turned into an almost sob. "Andy isn't my problem anymore. I quit a couple of days ago."

He cursed under his breath. "I'm sorry, Sookie. I never meant to-"

She cut him off. "No. Please don't blame yourself, Sam. You had to do what was best for you. It isn't your fault at all. This is between me and Andy."

"Are you ok?"

He sounded so sweet and concerned for her. Part of her wished that she'd just given it a little more time. Maybe she would have been able to love him, eventually.

"Yes? I will be, anyway. I updated my resume today and handed them out to just about everywhere I could think of. Do you think you could put a good word in if anyone calls? I used you as a reference."

"Of course, Chère. You were my hardest worker. I'll do you one better and make a few phone calls myself. Anybody would be lucky to have you."

She teared up again. "Thanks, Sam. I would really appreciate it."

She sniffled a little but then tried to sound upbeat. "So, how's Texas? Are you glad to be back?"

"Well, I guess so. I went and looked at a couple of places for sale but haven't found anything yet. Hopefully I will soon. My realtor thinks she has something I might be interested in and I'm going to take a look tomorrow."

"Another bar?"

"Yup. It has enough land for me to put up a double-wide out back. It worked out real well last time."

She could almost see him running his fingers through his reddish-golden hair, making it stick up in all different directions. She tried to swallow around a lump in her throat.

"That's just great, Sam. I really hope it works out for you."

There was a long pause. Sookie was just about to tell him to keep in touch before wrapping up the call when Sam spoke.

"Is there something else the matter, Sookie? What is it? You know you can talk to me about anything."

She thought she heard a hint of hope in his voice, but she knew that she really wasn't having second thoughts. She loved Sam, but not like that, and she was pretty sure that she never would. And he'd already sold the business and left town. She couldn't leave him with any doubt that he'd done the right thing.

"I'll be ok. I'm just worried about money is all. If I can land a job, everything will be a whole lot better."

She hadn't heard the truck driving down the driveway and stopping out front. The new gravel made it so much quieter. She also hadn't heard the truck door slam, but she couldn't have missed her brother slamming the front one.

"What the fuck, Sookie? I just heard that you've been messing around with some damn vampire! The great big fucker came into the bar last night and was eye-fucking me in front of everyone. I can't believe my own sister is a fangbanging slut!"

Having to deal with Jason was bad enough. Having Sam on the phone, overhearing everything, was so much worse. She really hadn't wanted this to get out at all, but probably the whole town knew by now. Especially if Eric had gone to the bar the night before.

"Jason, get the hell out of my house right now. You aren't welcome here."

"This is Gran's house, goddammit! You can't make me leave. I ain't done giving you a piece of my mind yet. And where the fuck did you get the money for that new driveway?"

Sookie closed her eyes. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, and she was paying by the minute. She wished that she could just revoke Jason's invitation. It would have been so much easier.

"Sam, I have to let you go. My idiot brother wants to talk to me."

There was another pause. "What have you gotten yourself into, Chère?"

Shit. She sighed. "Nothing. It's all over with. I'm fine. I promise."

Sam sounded dead serious. "Talk to me, Sookie. Who is it? You need to tell me what's going on."

"Sorry, Sam. I have to go. Talk to you soon."

She hung up the phone and glared at her brother. "This is my house, Jason. You have no claim to it anymore. The paperwork has been filed. It's mine, free and clear, and it's my name on the deed. If I call Bud right now I could have you thrown out and charged with trespassing."

Jason took two steps forward. His hands were clenched into fists and she remembered how much his slap had hurt. And not just her pride.

"Sookie, I swear to God, you need to stay the fuck away from vampires. I nearly went to prison for the rest of my life because of vamps. Gran died because of 'em. And I'll be goddamned if my sister is gonna play whore to one for everyone to see."

Sookie picked up the word of the day calendar and threw it at his head, but he batted it away.

"Jason, get the fuck out of my house right now!"

"Or what? Are you gonna sic your pet vampire on me?"

"What? No, of course not! And I don't have a vampire, anyway. Whatever you heard was wrong."

"Ok then, what about those bite marks on your neck?"

Sookie reached her hand up to cover her neck before realizing that her hair was already doing the job. Jason smirked at her.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm warning you, Sookie. No vamps."

He slammed the door again when he left and spun deep ruts in the new gravel with his tires before he shot up the driveway.

Sookie poured the milk down the sink and picked up the calendar. She tore off that day's word to get ready for the next. It was duplicitous. She took it as a bad sign. She took the phone off the hook, turned out the lights, locked the doors, and went to bed. She clutched Eric's pillow and cried herself to sleep.