Chapter 21

Sookie spent most of the next few days home alone. She went to a couple of job interviews and had another one lined up for the following day, but she hadn't gotten any offers. She didn't have enough money to do pretty much anything at this point — including paying her bills — so she just watched whatever looked good on the few channels she could get with the antenna. She'd tried a romance novel but then stopped after reading paragraphs at a time without having any idea of what they'd said. She hoped like hell she would get a job soon. Her pride wouldn't have let her ask for charity, but she didn't have anyone to ask, anyway.

She knew that she should go back to every place she'd applied and follow up, but she would be dressed up and driving to Clarice for her interview the next day and had decided to wait and do it then. She couldn't really afford the gas anyway. Plus she didn't really want to see anyone.

The phone rang while she was watching the evening news, just past dusk, and she got up to answer it.

"Hey, Chère. How are you holding up?"

"Hey, Sam. It's nice to hear from you." It really was nice, but it was also incredibly unnerving. She was hoping that the tears in her eyes weren't making her voice waver.

He waited for several seconds and then sighed. "I guess that's not so hot, then."

"I didn't say that."

"No, but not answering the question was a pretty big tell."

Her voice was close to cracking so she cleared it as quietly as she could. "I'm just doing the best I can, Sam.

There was another awkward silence. Sam broke it.

"I talked to Pinkie Arnette today."

Shit. She opened her mouth and nothing came out.

"She said that you didn't show up for your interview the other night. Sookie, talk to me. What's going on? There's obviously something else the matter."

A short, bitter laugh slipped out. Was there anything in her life that wasn't the matter right then?

"Sookie…"

"It's nothing, Sam. I just haven't been sleeping well. It was after dawn when I fell asleep the morning of the interview and then I woke up late and I got my days mixed up. Just about every day is like any other lately. It's not like I have a job to go to. And I've been preoccupied."

"Still awake well after dawn? Is your preoccupation with that vampire, Chére?"

She closed her eyes. "No. No, Sam. It's just everything that's going on in my life. If you hadn't noticed, it's kind of gone all to hell lately. I'm just overwhelmed, is all. And maybe a little bit lonely, but I'm planning to go to church on Sunday, so that will help. And I have another job interview tomorrow." She tried to sound convincing.

"Alright. Well, that's good."

He paused for a moment and she was about to ask him if he'd found a place for the new bar when he spoke up.

"You haven't told the vampires about your…"

He trailed off.

"My disability?"

"No, Sookie. Your gift."

Her temper flared up a little. "Yeah. Some gift. I wish God had thought to send along a gift receipt so I could take it back."

Neither of them said anything for almost a minute and then Sam's voice softened.

"Do you need me to come back, Chére? Just for a little while, until you get back on your feet? I can offer support, protection, or both. And you know you have my friendship. Just say the word, Sookie. I can be in Bon Temps by morning."

As much as she'd love to see him, she absolutely did not want him stuck in the middle of what was going on with Eric, or even know about it. It was too complicated and Sam was too overprotective and she didn't want to hear one of his lectures while he tried to put himself in the middle. She also didn't want Sam's feelings for her muddying the waters while she tried to figure out her feelings about Eric. Both of them. She was already mixed up enough.

"No, Sam. Please don't. You have so much to do if you're going to get your new business up and running. All you'd be doing here is watching tv and looking at me being miserable. I can be miserable on my own, and I don't have cable."

She could almost see him running his fingers through his hair and making it even more wild and crazy than it usually was.

"Are you absolutely sure, Sookie? You aren't in any danger?"

"I am sure. But I'll call you if that ever changes."

"Good. And, when you do call, call collect. Whenever you need a friend to talk to. Anytime. Day or night."

She smiled a little. "Thanks, Sam."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. She was glad that she'd been able to mostly dodge Sam's questions about the vampires again. She looked down at the word of the day calendar and sighed. Trivialize.

She was nodding off in front of the tv a couple of hours later when the phone rang again. She thought about leaving it but was afraid that it might be about a job, even if it was going on nine thirty.

"Hello?"

"Hello, my lover."

For a split second, she forgot and he was her Eric. It sounded exactly how her Eric had sounded after he'd risen for the night. It had always been followed with a kiss, which had always led to more. But then she ran face first into reality. It felt like she'd been punched in the stomach and her legs felt like they weren't going to hold her up any longer. She had to sit down on the stool. When she'd seen him at her house or at the bar, she'd always had a little time to prepare, even if it was just a few seconds to compose herself before opening the door. She'd been able to see the cunning in his eyes. The wariness in his expression. The toll of a thousand years. She hadn't been blindsided. It felt like another betrayal. It took her a moment to catch her breath, but then she got herself under control.

"What do you want, Eric?"

"What if I were to tell you that I only wanted to hear your voice?"

"I'd tell you that you were full of shit."

He laughed.

"I called to tell you that I need your services tomorrow night."

It was definitely not what she wanted to hear.

"You need my services or you need me to drive to Shreveport so you can drive me crazy?"

"The former. The latter is just an added bonus."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Where and when?"

"Fangtasia at nine."

They would still be open, of course, and at their most busy. She wasn't looking forward to it one little bit. She was sure that the butterflies were only anxiety.

"Fine."

He laughed again. "I am looking forward to seeing you, even if you can't say the same in return. At least not out loud."

"Goodbye, Eric."

Eric laughed again and hung up the phone. Pam sat across from him in his office at Fangtasia. She raised an eyebrow.

"I quite like this girl — not as much as you seem to, of course —but I am worried about the effect that she's having on you."

He looked away. "Don't be foolish."

"You are cranky all the time. You seem to only be happy when it's in relation to her, and then only when she isn't making you miserable. You haven't used any of the fangbangers since I got you back and have been drinking nothing but Trueblood. You have shown no interest in anything except for her. You—"

"Enough."

It was a warning. She knew her maker very well. She should have enjoyed the grin while it lasted and picked a better day to bring up her concerns. Maybe when he was already moping around.

She sighed. "Fine. But, if you really want her, you're doing a piss poor job of it. I'm sure that she doesn't enjoy being jerked around like this, but I suppose that's half the fun."

She got up to leave. When she reached the doorway, she paused.

"And I don't suppose you would enjoy feeling like the only one getting jerked."

She closed the door behind her.

He considered sweeping everything off his desk in anger but restrained himself. He went outside and started to fly instead. His good mood had been ruined.

For the fourth night in a row, he flew south towards Renard Parish. He didn't get too close to Bon Temps — he didn't know what kind of range she had or if she could even sense vampire minds — but close enough to be able to feel her.

It had been several minutes since she'd spoken to him on the phone, so he didn't get to feel how she'd felt at the time. He considered calling her back on his cell, but decided against it; she felt tired and it was late. He decided to wait until another night.

He'd told himself that he was just gaining information that he needed for the chase. Part of him knew that he was rationalizing being there. She was more than a game, as much as he tried to convince himself that she wasn't. Part of him also knew that his obsession with her wasn't just a temporary infatuation and nothing more.

She was feeling a wide range of emotions. He was used to the sadness and loneliness and even the love and lust, but he was quite sure that he sensed just a bit of anticipation as well. And then she felt, in part, almost like she had when they were making love, just a few days before. Not nearly as strong, and with so many conflicting emotions, but the anticipation was still there. He was sure of it.

He couldn't help touching himself when she got close and they both finished together. Just like they had in the shower and on her bed. She fell asleep a few minutes later. It would be a long time to wait until her dreams started, but he had nothing but time.