Always thought your promise was for life
I did not think that I
Would hear you say good-bye
CRASH
It's 2 am.
I don't even notice the glass all over the floor. Even as I walk over it and cut my feet it doesn't erase the images from my mind.
Over and over, like your favourite song on a good day. Except this is not my favourite song and it is definitely not a good day.
The scene started off innocent enough. I went over to Michael's because he was supposed to meet me at 8 and never showed.
It is now 9:30pm.
No call. No message. No nothing. I love the guy and I know he loves me but the Perfect Boyfriend he is not.
As I walk towards his house and look for the key (And yes he did give me a key to his place. He said it was because he didn't want me to ever feel like this wasn't my place too) I think about how much he's gonna get it. I was pissed.
I open the door. No one's home. No surprise. He's out with the boys while I'm stuck waiting. Just perfect.
So I turn around to leave while plotting the terrible things I'm going to do to Michael once I get my hands on him, when I hear a sound coming form his bedroom.
Now I know what you're thinking. Boyfriend a no show. Sounds coming from his bedroom. This is the making off a scene from All My Children, right?
My heart starts to pound as I walk slowly and quietly towards the door. My head is screaming No! No! He wouldn't! He Loves me!
The beating of my heart starts to overcome all other sounds and I swear right when I opened the door it stopped. I stopped breathing. The wind stopped blowing. The crickets stopped chirping. I closed my eyes preparing myself for the sight I prayed I wouldn't see.
Time moved excruciatingly slow and then I opened my eyes.
I always heard you led another life
I doubted every time
I guess my love was blind
CRASH
I covered my mouth to muffle the sound of my gasp but they heard me anyways.
I turned around and ran out the door. I ignored their yells for me to come back, that it wasn't what it looked like.
Yea and my name's Aunt Jemima.
As I run to the sanctuary of my best friends room, I try to shake the image from my head.
Max and Tess.
On Michael's bed doing things we haven't even done on his bed.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Cause in my eyes
Love was always something magical
But the feeling is so tragic for
Then I think about Liz. My best friend. My sister. There isn't anything I don't know about her and vice versa. We've laughed together, cried together…heck we even got our periods around the same time. How was I gonna tell her that the love off her life was fucking his wife from his previous life.
And tell her I was. When you love someone you have to be honest with them. Even if it hurts. The sooner Liz finds out what kind of lying, cheating, jerk of a guy max was the better.
I climbed up her ladder and hopped onto her balcony thinking about ice cream, sleepovers, makeovers and other activities to help Liz when I stopped.
And all I know is in love
CRASH
Shock.
Disbelief.
Pain.
As tear after tear drops from my eyes I continue to watch. It's like my eyes can't tear themselves away even when my head is screaming Enough!
"I love you"
"I Love you too"
The thing that I want most
I cant possess
Theres only emptiness
CRASH
I grab my heart as it jerks.
How?
When?
Why?
So many questions. I back away from the two people I thought would never betray me and leave before I throw up on Liz's balcony.
I begin to walk. No destination in mind, just the need to get away.
I need to get away from the lies.
The deception.
The betrayal.
The pain.
I find myself at Roswell Park and sit on a bench.
Liz and Michael.
Together.
I scream. Nothing in particular just a loud sound full of pain, sadness, and anger.
How could they? Why would they?
I stop screaming and begin to cry. Not the soft whimpering stuff. This is almost as loud as the screams, sobbing.
In the late of night
Just before I closed my eyes
You lied
As you kissed me goodnight
In the late of night
Just before I closed my eyes
I cried
As you kissed my lips good-bye
The world is spinning.
Minutes, hours, maybe even days later my tears subside. So I just sit there feeling….nothing.
No anger.
No pain.
No sadness.
Just empty.
I look at my watch. It's only 1 am.
I need to go home. I need to be surrounded by the warmth and comfort of my home because it feels like my soul is dying.
It only takes 10 minutes to get home and as I walk up to my porch I see two figures.
"Maria where have you been?"
"We've been worried and were just about to send out the search party"
In my eyes
You will always be the lucky one
Cause you know you'll always have my love
For all time til I die
Through the end I gave to you my best
You gave, you gave me loneliness
CRASH
Michael and Liz.
I have so many things that I want to yell at that moment but it's as if the part of me that's empty was the part that would have yelled and screamed and hit.
Now all I can do is shrug.
"I went for a walk"
"I'm sorry that I was late, something came up"
There, again. Nothing. I can't even manage a snort.
"Did you guys come here together?"
No glances. No emotions other than the ones I've come to expect.
"Of course not Maria, Michael couldn't find you so he called me. We were only here for a little while before you came home"
Right
"I'm tired so I'm just going to go to bed. I'll see you both tomorrow"
Liz grabs me into a hug. As she pulls away, she gives me a look of concern.
"I love you. If you need to talk, I'm here"
Then she leaves.
As I turn to Michael, he's watching her leave and quickly glances back at me.
"I'm sorry"
For standing me up or for fucking my best friend?
"I'll make it up to you tomorrow"
Oh, the first one.
He leans in to kiss me.
This is becoming too much and I can't keep my eyes from tearing up as he kisses my lips.
"Goodnight and sweet dreams. I love you."
In the late of night
Just before I closed my eyes
You lied
As you kissed me goodnight
CRASH
Then he too leaves.
Like a zombie I walk into my always empty home and up the stairs.
As I enter my room and look around at all the things that are an integral part of who I am and what makes me happy.
My eyes glance at the picture of me and Liz which is incidentally next to a picture of me and Michael.
Suddenly I don't feel so empty anymore. I walk right up to both of the pictures. I pick up the one of me and Liz. With a yell of rage I throw it across the room. Next was Michael's.
Crash.
Spin.
Crash.
When the world stopped spinning and I'd crashed myself out, only I remained surrounded by destruction.
There was glass, wax, oil, and anything else I could get my hands on all over the floor.
In the center of it all was me. I was covered with my own blood and the empty feeling was back again.
My knees gave out below me and I crashed to ground.
I lay crying on my floor trying to forget but always remembering.
3:30 am.
It's still night.
So I lay there crying.
In the late of night
Just before I closed my eyes
I cried
As you kissed my lips good-bye
The End.