Disclaimer: I don't own Battle B-Daman
Author's Note: This was written out of pure boredom and the fact that I have writer's block. It was mainly for my own weird entertainment...but I guess putting it on fanfiction won't hurt...much. I apologize for any OOCness...well, during the short period of time before they all get drunk. x)
Broken into two parts because it was getting too long for a one-shot.
Warning: Random, and VERY out of character. Also contains things that just don't make sense. Hurrah.
Summary: The boys find a secret stash of alcohol, and drink it without knowing what it is. Since they've never had alcohol before, they get ridiculously drunk and out of character. This can't be good...
The Fruits of Chaos
First Stage: Discovery
It was an incredibly hot and bright summer afternoon at Mie's mobile cat café. It was the perfect day to kick back and relax, sip a cold drink, and spend quality time with others.
However, Yamato and his crew still insisted on B-DaBattling each other in the blistering heat for reasons beyond comprehension. Armada, Mie, and Liena had traveled on foot to the nearest town in search of groceries and other necessities, leaving Yamato, Gray, Terry, Bull, Wen, Li, and Enjyu unattended.
Obviously a big mistake.
"Mom, we're back!" An exhausted Yamato announced as he entered the café, the rest of the boys trailing behind him.
"Looks like they're not back yet," Gray looked around the deserted café. Not a single customer had come by: the chairs and tables had been vacant and spotless for the entire afternoon.
"Aww man, and I'm real thirsty too," Yamato groaned, plopping down on a nearby chair. Everyone followed suit, except for Enjyu, who looked irritated.
"There's tap water, you know," He remarked, folding his arms across his chest.
"Oh right!" Yamato cheerfully jumped to his feet and rushed to the sink. He twisted the knobs of the sink and gingerly held a glass out, but to his horror, no water came out.
"Did the water supply run dry?" Terry gasped, peering over Yamato's shoulder.
"It's so hot that there's no water?" Wen and Li gaped simultaneously.
"Oh no," Bull cried out. "What are we going to do now?"
"Did it ever occur to you that this is a café?" Enjyu spoke up in the midst of their confusion. Light bulbs seemed to light up above the boys' heads as they came to the sudden realization.
"But Mie might get mad at us for raiding the supplies..." Li slowly said.
"Don't worry, Li, my mom will understand. We're in need of water here!" Yamato assured, as he dove for the cupboards. But Yamato only found that the cupboards were locked tight. In a panic, he tried the fridge as well, but with no avail.
"Of course, Mie would lock up the place," Gray scowled, mentally slapping himself. "You know, in case of robbers."
"But...need...to...cool...down...!" Yamato belted out as he rolled around across the floor. Suddenly, one of the floorboards flipped over as Yamato rolled over it, revealing a small opening. Soon, all the boys had crowded around the broken floorboard, curiously looking down into the darkness.
"How come this never happened before?" Terry pondered. He was sure that almost everyone had walked across the exact floorboard at least once before.
"Yamato's fat," Enjyu dryly said.
"Hey!"
"Anyways," Wen cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him. "I'll see what's down there."
"Be careful, brother," Li said anxiously, as Wen bravely reached down through the broken floor. Almost instantly, the brown-haired boy drew his hand back.
"What was it?" Bull asked, eyes wide open.
"S-something cold!" Wen stuttered.
"Ohh, good, maybe it's a bottle of water! Or milk!" Yamato, without a second thought, plunged both hands into the gaping hole and yanked out an open box with a couple of –
"Bottles?" Gray raised an eyebrow.
"I knew that," Wen muttered.
"Water! At long last!" Yamato flicked open one of the bottles and began to take giant gulps.
"Wait!" Terry wrenched the small glass bottle out of Yamato's hands. "You don't even know what it is!"
"It's clear, so it's water," Yamato whined. After the six other boys observed Yamato's still-smiling face, they came to a conclusion that the drink would be harmless if it turned out to not be water. And even if it was harmful, Yamato would show the symptoms first, warning the rest of them. It was all good.
"It tastes kinda funny," Wen put a hand to his chin, after a few sips.
"But refreshing," Li sighed happily.
Enjyu grunted as he one of the bottles was passed to him. He didn't want to risk drinking some strange-tasting water, but he was quite dehydrated after B-DaBattling. Giving in to his thirst, he poured the clear liquid out into a cup and joined in the merriment.
Unknown to them, the bottles actually contained alcohol, not water.
A few minutes later, the seven boys had evenly divided and completely finished the two small bottles.
Several more minutes later, Mie's café erupted into chaos as the alcohol began to take effect.
"I feel...woozy," Gray stood up, stumbled, and then fell back on his rear.
"Teehee, you fell on your butt," Bull giggled in an odd high-pitched voice.
"Hey...Terry," Yamato stared straight at the blue-haired boy. "Do you know that you look awfully a lot like a girl?"
"You know what," Terry stared back. "I think you're right."
"Wanna try on Mie's dresses?"
"Sure."
The two bounded up the stairs, leaving the rest of the boys in bewilderment.
"Ugh..." Gray groaned, rubbing his head. To his surprise, Enjyu offered a hand to help him up.
"Now that Yamato mentions it...Gray, you look like a girl too," Enjyu gawked. "Wait...no...It can't be. Liena! When did you become a boy? Actually, that's okay...my feelings haven't changed. I'll still do anything for you."
"Hehe," Gray let out an uncharacteristic giggle and clasped a hand delicately over his mouth, as he mistook himself as his sister, while Enjyu smiled at him. Suddenly, he seemed to snap out of his train of thought, and shoved Enjyu away. "Wait a sec, you and my sister? Ew, I don't approve!"
With that, Gray ran to the opposite side of the kitchen, sulking.
"Wait, come back!" Enjyu followed Gray, which led to a giant cat-and-mouse chase, with Gray screaming like a little girl, and Enjyu screaming "APPROVE!".
Bull seemed to think it was a game of "follow-the-leader" and began running in circles as well. First he chased Gray, then Enjyu, and then he chased himself around in small circles. His hair was rapidly changing from his usual hairstyle, to a more unkempt style, and then his hair flashed bright red as he chased himself around.
"Where is he!" The red-haired Bull questioned no one in particular. At the same moment, he changed back into normal Bull.
"He disappeared!" Normal Bull looked around nervously, looking for the red-haired Bull, and then changed into the more 'calm' Bull. However, when calm Bull was drunk, he was anything but calm.
"It's a flood!" He shrieked, pointing out the window and at the clear blue sky. Bull (now back to his usual self) scrambled up the stairs after Yamato and Terry to 'warn' them.
"Brother, I don't feel so good," Li clutched his stomach. His head was spinning, the room was spinning...even his brother seemed to be spinning.
"Why don't you sit down and rest?" Wen gracefully spun around in a perfect circle, his arms poised above him. "I have to finish practicing my ballet lesson."
"Okay, good night then," Li meekly crawled under a table, curled up into a ball, and fell fast asleep.
The door to the café suddenly swung open, capturing the attention of the remaining boys; Gray, Enjyu, and Wen.
"It's an angel!" Wen squealed, as a figure, outlined by the glowing sunset, entered the café. There stood Liena with a large paper bag, walking in, confused at all the eyes following her.
"She has food!" Wen took a full 360 degree turn from thinking with his brain to thinking with his stomach, and pointed at the bag Liena had in her arms. "DOG PILE!"
With a yelp, Liena found herself at the bottom of a pile of three boys. Wen grabbed the paper bag, abruptly stood up with it over his head, and yelled out, "GOAL!"
Wen ran up the stairs, screaming, to show his prize to the boys upstairs.
"You cheated!" Gray protested, hot on his trail.
"What's going on?" Liena looked to Enjyu, the only person left (she didn't notice Li under a table). Mie had told her to go back a little earlier, so that she could start making dinner for the hard-working, B-DaBattling boys. Apparently, they were just fooling around.
"Liena, Liena!" Enjyu grabbed her hands unexpectedly. "WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME!"
"...wha...?" Liena was even more confused as Enjyu seemed to be blubbering.
"I know; it's 'cause you like your brother more than me!" He wailed.
"Um..." Liena blinked, and slowly began to back away. It was definitely not the cold and distant Enjyu she knew. "Hang on a minute; I'm going to go get Gray..."
"See, that proves it!"
"Okay, okay, I'll stay here," Liena assured, and Enjyu's spirits seemed to rise. "I'll get you some water; that'll probably calm you down."
"Why are you leaving!" Enjyu hysterically bawled, as Liena took a few steps to go to the kitchen.
"I'm...getting you water," Liena said, nervously laughing.
"You're leaving me! Just like everyone else!"
"Come with me then," Liena pulled Enjyu by his wrist along with her. With the keys entrusted to her from Mie, Liena unlocked the fridge and handed Enjyu a cup of water.
"That feels good," Enjyu had a lopsided smile on his face after he downed the frosty drink.
"You should rest," Liena suggested.
"Yeah, I suppose," The red-haired boy yawned, his eyelids drooping, and then fell forwards, knocking Liena over. The blonde haired girl struggled to crawl out from under Enjyu's weight and straightened herself up, sighing. Then, her eyes snapped open as big as riceballs, when she realized what the current predicament was.
Since Wen and Gray were acting strange as well...that meant that Yamato, Terry, Bull, and Li (she still didn't spot Li sleeping under a table) would most likely be in similar states...and considering that all of them were upstairs...
As if on cue, a dull thump, followed by a panicked scream, was heard above her.
Liena gulped.
Mie was going to unleash a can of ass-whooping when she returned.