Author's notes: hey ya'll SO SO sorry for the seriously late chapter but I had a knee reconstruction 3 weeks ago and ive only just begun to heal up enuff to roam around without crutches! (makes it easier to carry a heavy-ass laptop around the house)
this chapters a lil' short for my liking, but I hope ya'll enjoy it coz the next chapter will probably be a while. I haven't really had time to write it yet! But please, DO review! Good, bad, bitching about the characters- anything! I LOVE reading the reviews!
Ch11: are you using me?
Rogue sat down on the end of her bed and Remy sat on her desk. He had no idea where to begin. He owed Rogue an explanation, but thinking back to when he left, he realised his reason for leaving was kinda stupid.
"Well?" Rogue said, crossing her arms.
Remy looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting. He'd already kept Rogue waiting for a good minute now and there was no backing out now that he'd already told her he'd give her an explanation. He took a deep breath. "After coming back here and seein' you again," Remy began, "Remy realise what he lost. Usually, I only let a relationship with a girl get to a certain point. I been hurt once before in N' Orleans, and I tried to run out on ya before I would let myself get hurt again," He explained. Remy looked into Rogue's emerald green eyes as he spoke, trying to figure out what she was thinking.
Rogue kept her arms crossed. "So yah left because yah were scared? Is that it?" She asked. Remy could tell she was pissed off. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. "Yah left because ya didn't care about how much ah loved ya. Yah only cared about what might happen if yah stayed?" Rogue asked in her pissed of tone. She uncrossed her arms and stood up. "Well ah hope yah feelin' fan-fuckin'-tastic now, Remy!"
Remy stood up and held his palms out in a stop motion. "Wait, wait! At least let me finish!" He pleaded. Rogue huffed and sat herself back on the bed. "I know now what a mistake it was. And yeh, Remy did hate you for what you did with Logan. But that was only at first. Now I see you never were happy with Logan and you only did it because of what I did!"
Rogue snorted. Remy hit the nail on the head, but she wasn't buying his explanations just yet.
"You want to know why Remy brought home that blonde, Chere?" Remy asked but Rogue only shrugged in reply. So, he continued anyway. "Remy heard you and Jean talking. I thought I heard you say you didn't want nothing to do with Remy. I thought you were over me, so I did what I could to get over you."
Rogue snorted again. "Drinkin' and Fuckin?" She replied harshly.
"Funny," Remy commented sarcastically. "Seriously Chere, Remy knows you still care. I see it in your eyes. And when ya healed me.."
Rogue cut Remy off. "Now what memories did ah pass on tah yah!" She rolled her eyes.
Remy smiled. He remembered the feelings that Rogue had passed onto him when she saved him. The only way he could explain those feelings were love, fear of losing Remy, and disgust and hate for what Logan had done. He felt how Rogue felt for him and how she wouldn't be able to cope if Remy died. "Remy knows how ya' really feel about him. Remy knows ya wish we were back together. And ya want what Remy wants, and don't deny it. Now we bot' made mistakes and let's try put this all past us," Remy explained.
Rogue still looked cross, but her expression was softening. Remy could tell she was finally warming to him. "What are yah sayin', swamp rat?"
Remy pushed off the desk he was sitting on and crouched at the foot of the bed in front of Rogue. He put a hand on her knee and looked into her emerald eyes. "Remy sayin' that he wants you to take him back, Chere."
Rogue's eyes widened. She finally had confirmation that there might be hope for Remy and herself. She wanted this moment to come for so long, she didn't know what to do. She sat there like a stunned mullet. She uncrossed her arms and put her hands on Remy's hand, which still rested on her knee.
Remy could see that Rogue was surprised with what he'd said. "Would've thought you'd figure that out by now," He smiled. Rogue's shocked look slowly changed into a smile. "Can we just forget all th' shit that's happened in the last month or so and go back to how we were?"
Rogue nodded. She was so happy.. no, ectatic! She flung her arms around Remy's neck and he took that opportunity to pull her up off the bed. He stood with Rogue's body pressed against his own. He looked down into her green eyes and she looked up into his demon eyes. Rogue had dreamt about this moment for so long. "So..?" Remy asked.
"So, what?" Rogue asked back, unsure of what Remy was asking.
"That a yes?"
Rogue smiled and cupped Remy's face with one of her hands. "Of course, sugar!" She smiled. Remy smiled and leaned in to kiss Rogue. Rogue's mind ran wild. She felt her problems slide away as Remy's lips pressed onto her own. She didn't want to care anymore. She didn't want to care about Logan, she didn't want to care that she and Remy had been apart for so long. All she wanted to care about was that Remy was there with her, hopefully to stay.
"Ahem."
Rogue and Remy detached from one another and looked towards the open doorway to see who had interrupted them. It was Scott.
"Scott," Rogue greeted. "What's up?"
Scott was glad (and surprised) that Remy and Rogue seemed to have gotten back together, but he wanted to have a chat to Remy about never hurting Rogue ever again. But he planned to do that later on in the day. There was something more important going on.
"Logan's awake," Scott informed them. Remy, who still had an arm around Rogue, felt her body stiffen at the mention of Logan. She was afraid of Logan. Remy had a hunch that her anxiety attack might have been about Logan. Even now she hid her face well, Remy could tell she was scared.
'What did he do to her to make her so afraid!' Remy thought to himself.
Just then, Kurt ported in next to Scott. "You guys have to come see!" Kurt squealed. "Ze professor is yelling at Logan for.. somezing!"
Rogue's eyes widened. She couldn't contain her fear, but she tried her hardest to hide it. "Fighting? Why?" She tried to ask calmly. She had a feeling that the argument was about her and the last thing she wanted was for the others to find out what activities she'd been doing with Logan.
Kurt shrugged at Rogue's question. "No idea. All I could hear was yelling. Zat door is made of steel! It's too hard to hear anyzing properly, but ze professor sounds PISSED!" Kurt exclaimed. "Come on! Let's go see!"
Rogue needed to know why they were arguing. She wanted to make sure that none of her friends heard anything also. She walked towards the door and Remy was right behind her. As she got closer to Kurt, she put her hand on his shoulder. Remy put his hand on top of hers.
"Four to beam up, Mr. Wagner," Scott joked.
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When they reached the door to the ward Logan was in, Rogue realised Kurt was right. The door was so thick that they couldn't make out anything too clearly. The professor must've really been yelling loudly because every few seconds they could hear his muffled voice through the door.
"I vonder why zey are fighting," Kurt asked. The four of them stood in a row, facing the door. It was as if they thought that if they looked at the door long enough, they might actually be able to see what was going on.
Remy put his arm around Rogue. "Remy has an idea why." Rogue stiffened again. She looked up at Remy with wide eyes. She didn't want him telling the boys that she'd been sleeping with Logan. "'Cause Logan stabbed Remy," Remy explained.
Rogue's body relaxed. Of course! To the others that didn't know about Logan and Rogue, that's all it would look like. 'How stupid of me!' She thought to herself.
"Yeah, about that.." Scott began. "What happened in the danger room? What were you two arguing about just before he stabbed you?"
This time Rogue wanted to run away. Somewhere far away, where she wouldn't have to see the shocked and disappointed looks of her friends. Remy tightened his hold around Rogue's waist, as if he knew what she was thinking. "When are Remy and Logan not arguing about something?" Remy explained. "We got into an argument and decided to not go so easy on each other while we fought."
"And he stabbed you!" Kurt exclaimed. "Why did you take Logan on like zat! You know he could rip you to shreds! None of us could ever take him on like zat!"
Remy shrugged. 'Yeah, nobody but me could ever bring Logan down,' Rogue thought to herself. Suddenly, the four of them could hear the professor's voice booming thought the door.
"A STUDENT, LOGAN! WITH A STUDENT!"
Rogue felt her stomach drop. Her secret was out. She didn't know what she was going to do. Her feelings of dread slowly overcame her.
"Wow, ze professor must really be drilling him for fighting full on wiz a student!" Kurt commented.
Rogue felt her dread fade away at Kurt's coment. 'Thank you, Lord,' she thought to herself. She was thankful that that was all they could really hear from the professor though the thick metal door.
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Logan kept his head down. He stared at the floor, like a child being punished.
"I already warned you about this! You went against my warnings and continued to sleep with the poor girl!" the professor yelled.
Logan finally looked up at the Professor. There was a vein in on the professor's forehead that looked like it was going to burst any second now from all the yelling. Logan knew nothing he said could justify anything he'd done.
"And then you almost killed Remy! You let your ego get in the way and you almost killed a student here! They're here for our protection, not for you to pick off!"
Logan lowered his head again. "I didn't mean for.."
But the professor cut him off. "Accident or not, you let your ego get the better of you and you shouldn't have been doing more than sparring with Remy! I don't care what he said to you!"
Logan's head shot up again. "You know?"
Xavier nodded. "I took the liberty of reading your mind while you were unconscious. And I don't like what I saw, Logan." The professor's voice lowered, but his tone was still angry. "Kurt brought Rogue in here earlier and she ran out of here in fear."
Logan was surprised that Rogue had come see him. She'd been avoiding him whenever she could and he was happy that maybe she still has feelings for him and not Remy.
"Logan, why would Rogue be afraid of you?" Xavier asked. Logan had a feeling he already knew the answer, but Logan didn't really know himself why Rogue was afraid of him. Logan shrugged at the professor's question.
"Logan, I warned you that I would not hesitate to send you away if you continued with these sort of.. activities," Xavier explained. "Pack your things. You leave first thing tomorrow morning."
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"Zey've gone quiet," Kurt commented.
"Thanks for the heads up, captain obvious!" Scott joked.
"Maybe he killed ze professor?" Kurt asked. Scott slapped Kurt on the back of the head. "Ow!"
"That wasn't funny, Kurt," Rogue replied. Just as she looked back at the door, they could all hear a beep. It was the noise of someone pressing the button that opened the door to the ward and it came from the inside.
Rogue felt Kurt's tail wrap itself around her and Remy and then the next thing she knew, they were all back in her bedroom.
"Zat was close!" Kurt sighed.
Remy removed his arm from Rogue and turned to face Kurt. "The professor ain't stupid. He's gonna smell that sulphur cloud a soon as he leave the room," Remy explained.
Kurt stiffened. There was only evidence that he had been there, listening. The others didn't leave behind a smelly sulphur smell to show that they too had been listening in. "Oh shit."
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It was just before dinnertime and Rogue and Remy were in her room. Rogue wanted to freshen up before they headed off to the dining room for dinner. She stood in front of her full-length mirror and tied up her hair in a high ponytail. Her white fringe hung at the sides of her face. She thought about how she and Remy had agreed to get back together again. She'd been dreaming of it for so long that she almost didn't think they would ever get together again. The only thing now was for her to figure out how she's going to deal with Logan. She'd managed to avoid him so far, but now that she knew he was awake, she knew that eventually she wouldn't be able to avoid him anymore.
Remy lay on his side on Rogue's bed. He was glad that he and Rogue could finally have another try at being a couple. He also knew that somehow they'd have to deal with Logan. He watched as Rogue tied up her hair and was now looking for her eyeliner. She'd lightened up on the gothic make up after she finished high school, but she still wore some light make up. "Chere, you look beautiful. Stop fussin'!" Remy smiled. Rogue winked back and stuck her tongue out at Remy.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Because she was thinking about Remy so much, she didn't think about who could be at her door. When she opened it, her stomach dropped. 'Speak of the Devil,' Rogue thought to herself.
There stood Logan. Rogue couldn't make out the look on his face, but if she had to guess, it would be that Logan wanted to see her. That he needed to see her. "Rogue," Logan said as he laid eyes on Rogue. The last time they spoke, Rogue was absorbing him with a look in her eye that scared even Logan. Logan then looked over Rogue's shoulder and saw Remy laying on her bed. When Remy realised that it was Logan at the door, he sat up and shuffled off the bed. "What's going on here?" Logan asked, looking at Rogue then Remy, then back at Rogue.
Rogue was nervous. She didn't want to have another anxiety attack, and she knew that this would probably be the time to tell Logan she wanted to end her relationship with him. If she was going to try again with Remy, she'd need to do it now and stop putting it off. "Nothing. Remy and Ah were just talkin'," Rogue replied.
"Remy'll leave you two alone," He said as he headed towards the door, deciding to stay within earshot.. just in case.
Remy knew that Rogue wanted nothing to do with Logan. He was however, a bit nervous about leaving Rogue alone in the room with Logan. The only problem was, Logan was still standing in the doorway and wasn't moving out of the way. Remy stood in front of the larger man and waited for Logan to move, but he wasn't moving. Remy looked up at the larger man. "Do you mind?" Remy asked.
Logan crossed his arms and snorted. He then stepped back so that he was outside of Rogue's room, and waited for Remy to walk out. But just as Remy walked past him, Logan grabbed Remy by the collar of his shirt. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes was scary enough.
"Logan!" Rogue called out. "Let him go!"
Remy stayed silent. Hell, he'd been stabbed by Logan before and Rogue brought him back. While Rogue was around, Remy wasn't afraid. He smirked at Logan and that only made Logan sneer at him.
"Logan!" Rogue called out again.
Logan snorted again and let Remy go. Remy readjusted his shirt in an attempt to get out the crinkles Logan had made. He then turned and winked at Rogue before leaving her alone with Logan. The wink only made Logan angrier.
Rogue watched on as Remy left her room. Now she was even more nervous and she tried her hardest to control herself so she didn't have another anxiety attack. "What do yah want, Logan?" Rogue asked. She prayed that Remy hadn't gone too far.. just in case Logan decided to go animalistic on her again.
Logan turned to face Rogue. His look was sincere as he asked, "Can I come in?"
Rogue almost told him 'no', but she knew that this was her opportunity to tell Logan to leave her alone. To her, it would have been easier to never see Logan ever again, but she couldn't just leave the mansion. She needed to tell Logan that she was back together with Remy, but she also wanted to tell Logan that it would be easier to never see him again. She didn't want to feel awkward around him if they were both going to be living at the mansion. Suddenly, she realised why Remy felt he had to leave the mansion. It was just easier for Remy to avoid Rogue. She understood that now.
Rogue nodded and watched Logan enter the room and close the door behind him. Rogue felt uneasy when Logan closed the door. The door closing emphasised how she was alone with Logan. Rogue crossed her arms and tried to remain confident. "Logan, this needs to stop," Rogue said before Logan could say anything. She knew now that her short relationship with Logan was out of loneliness. And after absorbing Logan the day before, she now had confirmation that Logan loved her a lot more than he should, and a lot more than Rogue felt comfortable with.
Logan didn't move. He continued to stand just a few steps inside Rogue's room. Rogue knew that Logan would never hit a woman in anger, but Rogue still feared he would actually do something to her. With Logan standing just inside the doorway, she had no way to escape her room, other than her second storey balcony.
Logan wasn't stupid. He knew there was something more going on with Remy and Rogue, but he didn't know that they had gotten back together. No one had told him after he woke up from his coma. But he still had strong feelings for Rogue and he didn't wan to give her up without a fight. "Rogue," He said. He was hurt by what Rogue had said, but he wanted to let her know what he thought. "I know what we're doing was wrong, but I don't want it to stop. I love-"
Rogue uncrossed her arms and flew her hands up in front of her as she cut him off. "Don't say it!" She felt disgusted with herself for sleeping with Logan and she wanted to put it all behind her. Now that she knew he loved her only made her want to run away and never see him again. It was an awful feeling to have someone so infatuated with you when you would never love them back. Rogue crossed her arms again and hunched her shoulders to hug herself tighter. She'd never had to break up with anyone before, but now she felt that she knew exactly how Remy felt. But at the same time, Rogue had no feelings for Logan but when Remy left, he still had feelings for Rogue. The last thing Rogue wanted to do was hurt Logan. But she felt she couldn't avoid it if he felt for her as deeply as he said. She wished she would never have to face him ever again, just so that she wouldn't have to see the saddened and hurt looks on his face.
"But ah do," she replied honestly. She looked at Logan with sad eyes but he didn't say anything. "Remy and ah decided tah get back together," Rogue explained.
Logan stared at her. Rogue saw the momentary hurt in his eyes when she mentioned she was back together with Logan. "Were you using me?" Logan asked. His voice sounded hurt, but at the same time, it sounded like he tried to hide his feelings.
Rogue knew the answer, but she couldn't bring herself to say it right away. She felt dirty, like a whore for using Logan like that, but at the same time, she realised that it took two to tango. Logan took advantage of her inebriated state back on her birthday and that made her hate him. "Yes." She felt that she had to be blunt. To be cruel to be kind. She wanted Logan to hate her, if it meant he would stop loving her.
Logan took a step forward, closer to Rogue. This time, Rogue didn't move backwards. She stood her ground and braced herself for.. anything. A hit, a punch, verbal abuse. But there was nothing. But then his face showed a more neutral expression and Rogue didn't know what to make of it. After a moment, Logan turned and left the room. When she saw the door close behind Logan, she breathed a sigh of relief. When she was satisfied that he was gone, she ran to the door and locked it. She didn't want to chance Logan coming back. She leaned back on the door and slid to the floor. She'd have no more visitors that night, not even Remy. She needed to be alone.