Author's notes: sorry for the extremely late update but ive been super busy and not to mention the fact that I just recently had a knee recnstruction.. but enuff about me. I also postponed this chapter because I don't like it- I mean, I haven't been able to fix it up to my liking, but it's as good as it's gonna get- so I hope YOU guys enjoy it! (and pwetty pweeze send a review my way! I still haven't written the next chapter so that should be up in about 2 weeks I hope!)

CH12: Rogue's escape

Rogue sat on the lid of the laundry chute with her left arm over the basin again. She'd been sitting in her bathroom for an hour now. Reliving the encounter she'd just had on Logan was painful for her. She felt horrible for allowing Logan to love her. She hated herself for leading him on, even though she'd convinced herself at the time that she'd be happy with Logan. She hated herself for believing it too. Even though Remy forgave her for all of it, Rogue still hadn't forgiven herself.

She leaned her head on the wall and watched the blood drip from her arm. She had a close call that night. When she first entered her bathroom, Remy had come back to her room to see if she was okay and to see if she was still coming to dinner. Thankfully she hadn't begun to cut herself yet. She didn't want Remy to see it. She'd convinced him that she wasn't hungry anymore and that he should go to dinner without her. Remy promised he'd come back to her room after dinner, but Rogue told him she wanted to be alone.

Rogue looked at the bloodied blade that lay in the basin. She'd made three more incisions that night and the blood that came out was a lot more than she'd expected.

'Ah wish ah never slept with Logan,' Rogue thought to herself. 'Even though Remy left me, ah should never have let myself do that with Logan. Ah never loved him. Ah'm stupid for doing it out of loneliness. Remy'll never truly forgive me. He'll always remember it.'

Rogue turned on the tap and watched the water mix with the blood. The water cleaned the basin for a moment, but seconds later the basin was filled with new droplets of blood that flowed from her arm. She now had five scars to hide from everyone. She didn't know what she'd do if the others found out about her cuts.

'Ah know this is wrong, but ah need it!' She said to herself.

Rogue picked up the nearest towel and wrapped it around her arm. She wanted to stop the bleeding so she could go to sleep. The bleeding had slowed significantly in the last half hour, but she didn't want bloodied sheets again. With the towel around her forearm, Rogue walked out of the bathroom and towards her bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the towel down onto her arm. She hissed in pain but she knew she needed to apply pressure for the bleeding to stop.

'What am ah gonna do tomorrow?' She asked herself. She had no idea what was going to happen the next day when she had to face Logan again. Rogue had no idea that Xavier ordered Logan to leave first thing in the morning. She lay down and tried to think about anything but Logan with little success.

If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could
Stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I
Would

Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past

(Linkin Park - Easier to Run)

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Rogue woke up and found the towel was still wrapped around her arm and she was still in her clothes from the night before. She'd fallen asleep while she was waiting for the bleeding to stop. She looked at the alarm clock and it read 7am.

'That's gotta be a record!' She thought to herself. It's the first time she'd woken up so early of her own free will. Feeling wide awake, Rogue sat up and checked her arm. The bleeding had stopped but the three new cuts ached, which was to be expected. She fed off the physical pain in an attempt to numb and forget about her emotional pain.

She got up and rolled her sleeve down to hide the new cuts. She figured since she was already awake, she might as well get some breakfast.

When Rogue reached the kitchen, She saw the kitchen was hustling and bustling with the numerous students. "Morning!" Kurt greeted cheerily as he saw Rogue enter the kitchen. The younger students were all over the kitchen bench making their breakfast.

"What on Earth is goin' on?" Rogue asked, not used to seeing the kitchen so busy in the morning. As she walked towards the fridge, she noticed Logan was sitting at the table, reading his paper as he usually did. She tried not to react to his presence as she turned her attentions on Kurt. She could feel Logan's eyes burning on the back of her head as she walked closer to Kurt.

"It's called the morning rush," Kurt smiled. "Unlike us older students, zey have school in an hour. You just usually wake up after zey are all gone," Kurt explained.

Rogue nodded at the explanation. It was logical and true. Rogue did tend to sleep just that extra hour or two in the mornings. She walked over to the fridge and opened it. She pulled out the milk and then walked through the miniature crowd of students to get to the cupboard where the cereal was kept.

"It's like rush hour in here!"

Hearing Remy's voice, Rogue turned to look towards the doorway. Her boyfriend had walked in, hair dishevelled and his eyes barely opened and his unshaven beard. She loved the way Remy looked first thing in the morning. He looked more natural, and cute with the half asleep look on his face. Remy smiled as he approached Rogue. "Morning, Chere," Remy greeted as he planted a kiss on Rogue's forehead.

"Mornin', Shugar," Rogue replied. She smiled up at the taller man.

"Ah, thanks, Chere. Remy's starved!" Remy joked as he took the milk and cereal out of Rogue's hands. Rogue laughed. Remy was stealing her breakfast right out from under her.

"Hey! That's mah breakfast!" Rogue squealed as she ran after Remy and tried to take the milk and cereal back.

Remy, loving the attention and how he and Rogue had started acting playful again, lifted the cereal box and milk carton above his head. "Come and get it, mon ami!"

Rogue jumped for the food, but Remy's reach was just that little bit too high. Rogue smiled and turned her back to Remy. "Fine," She pouted. "Ah wanted toast anyway!" She pretended to be angry as she walked over to the toaster.

Kurt laughed at the public display Remy and Rogue were putting on. He was ecstatic when he heard the two of them were getting back together. He missed seeing Rogue so happy.

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Remy and Rogue sat on the kitchen bench, shoulder to shoulder as they ate their breakfast. Rogue was glad that they had their backs to Logan, because she didn't want to think about the stares he was most likely giving her. She wanted to enjoy her time with Remy without Logan wreaking it all. Rogue ate her fruit loops with a small smile on her face. Remy looked over at her and saw her smiling as she chewed her breakfast.

"Those Fruit loops must be tasty, Chere," Remy commented, softly nudging her shoulder with his. Rogue just grinned and continued chewing on her fruit loops.

Kurt sat opposite Remy and Rogue at the bench and watched the two lovebirds finally enjoy one another's company. Rogue realised Kurt was staring at them and she pretended to glare at him. "What'cha lookin' at, Furball?" She asked, pointing at him with her spoon.

Kurt only grinned more. "It's good to see two mature adults sitting and-"

Before Kurt could finish his random babble about how happy he was to see the two of them together again, a snort could be heard coming from Logan's direction. Kurt, Rogue and Remy all turned to look at Logan. Logan ignored the looks from the three of them and continued reading his paper.

Jean and Scott, who were sitting at the table with Logan also looked at confused Logan. They weren't sure if Logan's snort had anything to do with what Kurt was saying or if it was aimed at something he'd just read. Remy was the first one to speak up. "Got somethin' to say, Wolverine?"

Logan rustled his newspaper to straighten the pages and continued reading. Everyone knew what was going to happen. It was the calm before the storm. Remy had just dared Logan to say what was really on his mind. Remy and Logan butted heads constantly, and all the senior students knew when a fight between the two was about to begin. "Adults? You're hardly what I'd call mature?" Logan replied, still looking at his paper, knowing that the others, mainly Remy, would hear it.

"You gotta problem with Kurt callin' us mature?" Remy asked, his voice becoming a little more hostile.

Rogue prayed that they didn't get into a fight. Their arguments were usually pretty horrible, but this time she knew they were fighting over her. It made her nervous, because the last fight they had, Remy almost died and Rogue almost killed Logan. Not to mention, she didn't want everyone else to hear she'd been sleeping with Logan. The kitchen was still filled with all the senior students and a few straggling younger students, who still hadn't left for school yet.

Logan knew he'd get in trouble for picking a fight with Remy again, but he was told to leave the mansion anyway, so Logan didn't really care anymore. He was packed and ready to leave right after he finished his breakfast, and so he didn't feel that he had anything to lose. Rogue was already lost to him and he had no idea if he'd even be welcomed back at the mansion. "Runnin' out on Rogue like ya' did ain't really mature," Logan replied, still not taking his eyes off his newspaper.

Remy hopped off the bench. Rogue did the same and put her hand on Remy's arm. "Remy, don't."

But Remy wasn't listening. He had just sorted through things with Rogue, but that was between he and Rogue- his girlfriend. Remy looked at Rogue and smiled. "It okay, Chere." And then he turned to Logan with a glare on his face. "Y'know, Homme, Remy don't think it any of yo' business."

Logan smirked and lay his newspaper down on the table. Remy had pulled right into Logan's clutches. Logan wanted to have another go at Remy before he left, and he figured that this might be his one chance to pick a fight. "I think it is, Cajun," Logan replied casually. Logan leaned forward, forearms on the table and his hands clasped together.

Kurt cocked his head, sideways at Logan's remark. "Huh?" He asked. Kurt's confused face matched Scott's, Kitty's and all the younger students'. Jean however had a fearful look on her face. She also knew what the fight was about and like Rogue, also feared what the outcome might be. "Vat do you mean?" Kurt asked.

Rogue's heart almost stopped when Kurt asked it. She prayed that no one explained to him what Logan meant. She was glad that Remy decided to ignore what Kurt asked and replied to Logan's comment instead. He crossed his arms and smirked at Logan. "Remy beg to differ."

"Well," Logan began. "When ya run out on one of my friends like that, you don't exactly stay on my good side, Mr. Mature."

Remy took a step closer to Logan. Rogue put her hand on Remy's shoulder, hoping that it'd be enough to make him back down from this fight. "Non, Chere," He said, moving his shoulder away from Rogue's grasp. "This needs to be done."

Rogue couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't want everyone to know about what she'd done. She was too embarrassed as it was and she didn't know what she'd do if the others found out. "Stop it, Remy!" Rogue yelled.

"Vat is goin' on!" Kurt asked a little louder.

They all ignored Kurt and turned their attentions on Remy, who replied a little more angrily to Logan, "Remy don't care if he on your good side, Wolverine! You stay the FUCK away from Rogue, understand?"

Rogue's felt a constricting feeling in her chest after she heard Remy say that. She couldn't breathe. She had to stop this.

This time it was Scott who spoke up. "What's going on?" He asked loudly to match the raised tones of Remy, Rogue and Logan's. To Remy and Logan, it was as if no one else was there. They were glaring at only each other. The fight was between only them and they weren't going to let the others get in the way. The others were just spectators.

Logan, hearing Remy's 'request', stood up and took a step towards Remy. His fists were clenched and his shoulders were pulled back, exposing Logan's large muscular chest at Remy. "You want me to stay away from Rogue? I think Rogue should have a choice in who she is allowed to hang around with," Logan replied.

Remy took another step closer, this time, a little to the left so that he was now standing in protectively in front of Rogue. "She doesn't want you near her, understand!" Rogue could feel a panic attack coming on. She was having trouble breathing and Jean could see it. Jean tried to comfort her mentally by telling her telepathically that the boys would never let her secret slip.

'I hope yah right!' Rogue thought to herself, but she wasn't 100 percent sure herself!

Logan grunted at Remy's comment. "Oh that's real mature, you speaking for your lady," He smirked. He wanted to get Remy heated up. "She's got a mouth, let her tell me that herself!"

"I do believe she already has, Wolverine! And as for mature.." Remy repeated. "Again with the mature! You wanna talk about mature?" Remy started yelling. His voice was becoming more angry, more heated. Rogue could feel that the argument was going to get insanely personal and she was terrified her secret was going to be let out. She'd never felt such anxiety and suspense before this moment. It was in this moment she felt that there was no escape.

"Remy, stop it!" Rogue pleaded. Her fear showed in the tone of her voice and it only made Scott, Kitty and Kurt become more alert to how bad the situation really was. Scott stood up from his seat, ready in case a fight broke out between Logan and Remy.

Hearing all the ruckus, Xavier entered the kitchen to see what was going on. It was at that moment, Remy made a huge mistake. He let his anger get the better of him. He'd been ignoring the pleading coming from Rogue, ignored the fact that there were spectators as he focussed all his attentions on Logan. "You slept with Rogue!" Remy yelled! Rogue froze in shock! Remy, not realising his audience heard everything he'd just said, he continued on. "You should know better, Wolverine! You should be the mature one and keep your fuck'n hands off my girlfriend!"

The sound of a mug smashing on the ground could be heard behind them. The piercing sound woke Remy from his zone and the sudden realisation of what he had done made his stomach drop.

"Rogue?" Bobby said. Rogue turned around and saw the broken mug at his feet. "You..You slept with Logan?"

Rogue didn't know what to do! She felt her chest get tighter and she couldn't breath. She started feeling light-headed. Her breaths became faster and shallower and she couldn't handle the stares she was getting from all the students. Most of all, she couldn't believe Remy was the one to let her secret slip. She looked up at Remy and saw the guilt on his face.

"Chere, I'm so sorry!" Remy apologised, but Rogue knew it wasn't enough. His apology wouldn't take back the stares everyone was giving. She couldn't look at them anymore. She had to leave their stares. Rogue turned and fled the room.

Remy tried to run after her, but the Professor held his hand out to stop Remy. "Let her go, Remy," Xavier instructed.

"But Professor!" Remy pleaded. He didn't mean to say what he said. He didn't mean to make Rogue feel so guilty and embarrassed. He needed to go tell Rogue how sorry he was, but Xavier didn't want to hear it.

"Leave her be. She needs time to think," He explained. Xavier told the younger students to get to school, but not to breathe a word of what had just happened or else they'd all be grounded.. After they left, Xavier turned to Logan. "I'll see you in my study, Logan," Xavier ordered. Logan left the room, aware of the stares the shocked students were giving him, leaving the professor with the senior students.

Scott sat back down. "I.. I… Rogue and Logan?" Was all he could manage to say in all his shocked state.

"Jean," Xavier instructed calmly, "Go see how Rogue's doing."

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Rogue ran to her bedroom. It was the only place she could think of to run. She locked the door behind her and leaned back on the door.

"I cant! I can't do this!" She said to herself. She dropped to her knees as it felt harder to breathe. "I can't stay here! The way they all looked at me!"

Suddenly, Rogue got an idea. She quickly got up and ran to her closet. She grabbed her duffle bag and started stuffing it with clothes.

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Jean had a feeling that the professor asked her to go see how Rogue was doing because she already knew about Rogue's secret and wouldn't be as shocked as the others by it. She really felt sorry for Rogue and pitied her. She was also shocked that Rogue's secret was let out in front of so many people. No, she was shocked that the secret had come out at all.

Jean took her time getting to Rogue's room. She figured that maybe Rogue needed at least a few minutes to herself to think. Even Jean had a hard time comprehending that Rogue's secret came out in such a public arena. And even though Xavier threatened the younger students with punishment if they told any of the other students, Jean still bet on every student in the mansion knowing about Rogue and Logan by the end of the day.

Jean finally reached Rogue's room and then realised she had no idea what to do or say. But she figured she'd better start off somewhere, and so she raised her fist and knocked on Rogue's bedroom door. No reply. Jean leaned closer to the door and put her ear on it. She couldn't hear anything coming from Rogue's room. Jean didn't know what she expected to hear, but she thought that maybe she would've heard Rogue crying or something. Jean removed her ear from the door and stood straight up again. "Rogue?" Nothing. "Rogue, are you in there?"

Again, with no reply, Jean reached for the handle. Locked. Jean figured that if she were in Rogue's position, she would've locked her door too. Jean was ready to use her powers to unlock the door, but then she stopped herself. "Rogue," Jean called out. "I'm coming in!" She called, giving Rogue a heads up. "It's just me. No one else!" Again there was no response, so Jean went ahead and used her telekinetic powers to unlock the door.

The door opened and Jean walked into Rogue's room. Jean looked around the room and was surprised by what she saw. She knew Rogue tended to have a messy room, with clothes strewn around the room, floor and desk, but now Rogue's clothes were all over the floor, the drawers were all open and half empty. Rogue's wardrobe was open and clothes were all over the floor in front of it, as if Rogue frantically tried to find something in particular. Rogue was nowhere to be seen. "Rogue?" Jean called out. Jean could hear a noise coming from Rogue's bathroom. She figured maybe Rogue was in there. As Jean reached the bathroom door, she opened it and found that Rogue wasn't in the bathroom. The tap was running and Jean automatically walked over to it to shut it off. It was then that Jean saw it. The basin was filled with dried blood. "Oh my God!" Jean put her hand to her wide-open mouth in shock.

Something was definitely wrong. The situation Rogue got herself into was wrong, but seeing the blood in the basin made Jean feel sick to her stomach. Jean left the bathroom and walked back into Rogue's bedroom. Something was definitely wrong here. It was then that she realised that Rogue's balcony doors were wide open. A low rumble could be heard and Jean ran to the balcony to see what the sound was. She had a bad feeling about this.

As Jean reached the balcony, she saw an emerald green and black motorbike riding out of the Mansion gates. "Oh shit." Jean said to herself. It was too late to call out to Rogue. She'd already left the mansion and the sounds of the motorbike would be too loud for her to hear Jean's calls from so far away.

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Logan sat nervously in Xavier's study. He'd been sitting there for a few minutes, his heel leaving the floor, then tapping the floor, then leaving the floor, then tapping the floor- with a rapid pace. He knew he was in deep shit this time. He'd copped a blasting from Xavier only the night before, but this time he took on Remy on purpose! He wasn't sure what else Xavier had to say to him, because Logan was scheduled to leave the mansion that very morning. The minutes that passed while Logan waited felt like they were passing too slowly.

Finally, Xavier rolled in to the study, a stern and angry glare on his face. Logan stood up as soon as Xavier came in. "Sit down, Logan," Xavier commanded with a cold voice. Logan obeyed and sat down. He watched as Xavier rolled his wheelchair around his desk so that the desk was between Logan and himself.

"I don't know what to say to you anymore, Logan," Xavier explained. His tone was still cold and definitely angry. "I've already told you to leave today, so there's no point in me punishing you further. But I-"

Xavier was cut off by Jean trying to contact him telepathically. 'Professor! Rogue's left the mansion! I saw her ride out the gates on her motorbike! And there's another thing. Her sink had a lot of blood in it.'

Xavier instructed Jean to get to Cerebro to try track Rogue. After giving her these orders, Xavier turned his attention back to Logan. "Jean has just informed me that Rogue has run away. I'm forced to retract my order for you to leave the mansion," He commanded.

Logan was confused. "But.."

"But nothing," Xavier explained. "Now that Rogue's run away, I don't want you out there chasing after her. You're to remain confined to your room. You're not to use the Danger room, or talk to any of the students. Ororo will be here to care for the students while we search for Rogue."

Logan nodded at Xavier's orders and stood up. He turned towards the door, and just as he did, Xavier added, "Remember Logan. I will force you to stay in your room if need be," Making it perfectly clear that he can use his powers to make Logan want to stay in his room.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

(Linkin Park – Easier To Run)