Chapter 7

Part 1: Friendship

Meredith was sitting on one of the gurney, enjoying the few minutes of peace she had had all day, when Cristina sat down next to her.

"Mention the word wedding and I am gone." she announced herself.

"I wasn't going to." Meredith answered.

"Good because I am getting tired of people asking me about it."

"I didn't…"

"And you know what? I am so angry at Burke right now. He is so excited about the dam thing. He acts like a girl and a girly one. All he thinks about is the music we're gonna play, the dress I am going to wear."

She then grunted and left her arms fall next to her.

"I…" Meredith started.

"I mean, I am not a people person and now, Burke expects me to meet his parents and follow their stupid family traditions. Who does he think he's getting married to?"

Meredith waited a moment before she spoke again.

"You're feeling better?"

"Yeah thanks."

There was a moment of comfortable silence when Cristina continued.

"I am gonna ask you something. When I do, know that it will be uncomfortable and awkward for both of us. So please don't make a big deal about it." Cristina sighted. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

Meredith smiled. She knew how hard it was for Cristina to ask something like that.

"Of course, I will be."

"Good." Cristina nodded. "I couldn't take anyone else. I mean Izzie is too perky and George well he pout too much."

Meredith let out a laugh. It was so typical of her, trying to get rid of all the sweetness of the moment by saying something mean.

"So, I'm still your person?" Meredith asked her.

Cristina only gave her a weird look.

God, Meredith couldn't wait for the wedding. She was going to have way too much fun at Cristina's expense.

Part 2: Goodbye

Derek was lying in bed smiling so much he was happy of finally getting some much needed rest. The hospital, Meredith, Mark and Addison, they had all been hard on him. He was slowly drifting off to a peaceful sleep when he heard her voice.

"Please, talk to me Derek." Addison begged him.

He didn't answer her and pretended to be sleeping instead, hoping she would give up and let him rest.

"I know you're awake. We've been married for eleven years and dating before that. I can tell when you are."

"Let me sleep, Addison." He answered her.

"No. We need to talk and you know it."

"I had a hard day and I need to sleep."

"My day was hard too…You know what? Fine! You want to sleep. I give up. I'll let you sleep."

"Thank you."

He was halfway to sleep again when he heard her shuffle through the closet.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"I am packing my things. I am leaving. I'll be staying at the Four Seasons for two weeks. If you're ready to talk and save our marriage before I leave meet me there. If you don't… Well, then I'll have my answer and I'll send to you the divorce papers."

Her voice was smaller than usual. She had been crying.

"Addison…" he started getting angry.

"Don't!" she said forcefully. "Please, don't." she added practically below a whisper.

She continued packing in silence

"Goodbye, Derek." she said opening the door.

"I…" Derek tried to say.

"I know. Look, I love you, Derek and I want you to be happy with me or without me. If you think Meredith can make you happy then go to her. I wish your happiness was with me, but you need to be more honest with yourself. I want to be happy, Derek, and I don't think I can be if we continue like this. I know what I did was horrible and I am sorry, but I still think I deserve better than to be with someone who only stay with me out of obligation and that wish to be with someone else instead." Her voice cracked at this.

"Goodbye, Addie." Derek said finally understanding.

"Goodbye, Derek."

With that, she was gone. Out of his life maybe forever. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He loved her. He just didn't know if he was still in love with her or that he could ever be again.

Part 3: Paradox

Meredith got to her mother house at half past midnight. She felt exhausted by her fight with Derek. No matter how angry she was with him she hated hurting him. She didn't want to fight with him, but he gave her no other choice. She went directly to the kitchen and served herself a glass of milk. She was really tired, but she knew she couldn't sleep just yet. She drank her milk silently while thinking about Derek's face when she said she was moving on when she heard sobs coming from upstairs. Izzie was crying, but why?

Softly Meredith walked up the stairs to Izzie's room. She heard her sniffle through the door.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Meredith?"

"Behind the door. Can I come in?"

"No! I…I…" Izzie fumbled with her words.

"That's okay. I know you've been crying." Meredith said stepping into the room.

Izzie sighted before she started talking.

"It's Alex. He said he was tired of waiting for me to choose between him and Denny. We fought pretty hard. It's just Alex is a great guy, but since what happened with Olivia, I just don't trust him like I used to. I am always waiting for him to hurt me again and I can't open up to him. But with Denny it's different. He would never do something like that to me. He is caring and funny and he needs me. I just don't know what to do."

"It's easy just pick."

Izzie chuckled bitterly.

"No, really Izzie. Alex is right. You're not being fair with either of them. They both adore you and you're acting like a spoiled brat. Do you realize how much you hurt them by doing what you're doing? You flirt with Denny to try to move on from Alex. You pretend you're available when really you are not. After that you start over with Alex, giving him hope when maybe there's not."

The strange paradox was making Meredith very angry.

"Meredith, I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"Just pick the one you think can make you happy. If you're only reason for being with Alex is because you feel like you have to after leading him on, then don't stay with him. Same thing with Denny, if you pick him because you're too scared of risking being hurt by Alex again, then don't pick him. They both deserve better than that."

Izzie just nodded and Meredith left her alone to decide. She knew she had been too hard on her, but she couldn't have helped how strongly she felt about Izzie's dilemma. After this talk, she felt ready to sleep. She had exhausted her last strength.