Chapter 13

Part 1: Special Order

Meredith was washing her hands after scrubbing in on one of Burke's successful surgeries. He had been very nice with her, asking her to scrub in as often as he could and keeping her away from Dr. Shepard. There was no doubt in her mind that Cristina had left some details of her visit slip.

It had been a week since Derek talked to her and she had been doing a great job at avoiding him. He didn't seem to be looking forward to seeing her either because he had stopped following her around.

She had skipped breakfast that morning, and she was now very hungry. She walked toward the cafeteria and looked at the choice of meals she had that day. She took out a Caesar salad and went to the counter to order her meal.

"Alfredo pasta, please." she said. One of the chefs served her a bowl of it and than put a white piece of cake next to it.

"I'm sorry. I did not order this…" she said, surprised at the cafeteria lady.

"You're Dr.Grey, right?" Meredith nodded. "Well, this cheesecake order was made for you."

"By whom?" She asked even though she was starting to guess who it was from.

"A tall dark haired man. Very good looking, if you ask me. He said he was Dr.Shepard or something like that and that he wanted us to give the last piece of cheesecake to a pretty dark blondish and thin girl. He said you were Dr.Grey. He asked for the whole cake and to save you the last piece. One of the weirdest orders I've ever had, but he insisted. Must have been very hungry, that man."the lady said, laughing to herself.

Meredith just took her tray with the last piece of Cheesecake and mumbled a simple thank you. She was stunned. He left her eat the last piece of Cheesecake. He really did. Suddenly, tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to blink them away. She couldn't be weak like that again. He couldn't give her a piece of cake and expect her to run back to him. She couldn't trust him. He may have loved her, but if her love wasn't enough, why should his be?

She sat down to eat, but realized she had lost her appetite. She just stared at the cake for some time before Bailey paged her. Work!...Good. Work was good. Anything to make her stop thinking about Him would be good.

Part 2: Sobs

Meredith was once more exhausted. She had worked herself to death, trying to keep her mind busy. It worked, but it was now 10 o'clock at night and she had nothing to do. It was too early to go home and the prospect of finding herself alone with her thoughts did not sound appealing.

She walked to the gurney room, hoping to find some of her friends there. She wasn't in the mood to talk, but she was desperate. She needed a distraction, something to keep her mind off Derek.

She walked in silently, that's why Izzie did not hear her. This gave Meredith the opportunity to see her friend's face. It was covered with tears that flowed freely from her eyes. Those eyes that were puffy and as red as her swollen face.

Meredith sat down silently next to her; unsure if she was suppose to talk. Izzie only gave her a rapid stare for acknowledgment and continued to cry silently; staring at the wall. Only very soft sobs came out of her mouth. She had obviously been crying for a long time because her breathing was soft and slow. She was too tired to stop the tears so she just left them flow and take all the strength she had left away from her.

After fifteen minutes that seemed like eternity for both of them, Izzie finally spoke. Her voice was low and cracked from exhaustion.

"Denny…" she stopped and tried to breath. It was hard for her to speak and keep her emotions in check. "He… he died."

A deeper sob at those words made its way to her mouth and she had to grimace and keep her eyes tightly shut to stop it from taking control of her whole body again. Meredith put her hand on hers to let her know she was there which only intensified the sob.

After a moment, Izzie started to control her breathing again and calmed herself down. Meredith stayed with her until she fell asleep. No more words were needed.

Part 3: Bad Mood

It was four in the afternoon, when Meredith walked down the stairs of her mother's house. She was wondering if the left over pizza in the fridge was a week old or three weeks old when George stopped her midway.

"Meredith! Dr.Sloan called. He was wondering if you wanted to see him this Saturday."

"Oh, thanks George," she answered him.

"Yes, no problem. Have you seen Izzie? She didn't come in last night and since I've heard what happened to Denny, I was wondering…" he trailed off.

"She spent the night at the hospital. You should talk to her. She didn't seem fine last night." Meredith gave him a sad smile.

"Oh, ok," he answered; looking very pale. "My shift starts soon so I'll go check on her right now."

George barely took the time to put on a jacket and he was out the door; looking more worried than Meredith had ever seen him look.

Meredith sighed sadly. She too was worried for their roommate. She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge to take out the pizza. She opened the box to smell it. It didn't smell good. It must have been three weeks old she concluded as she put it in the trash and started eating an apple that was on the counter.

She started passing through the house with once more nothing to do. She stayed the longest time possible at the hospital and she had to stop if she wanted to work the rest of the week. That stupid eighty hours limit! She had no one to talk to. Cristina was working with Burke on young patient whose muscles had developed to fast for his small body. Izzie and George needed to spend some time alone, and Alex was no where to be found and it was probably better for her that way. He was most likely in no mood to talk.

As she walked around the house, her eyes fell on the couch where the phone laid in the middle. She might as well call Mark, get it over with.

She dialed his number. The phone rang for a long time before his voicemail picked up.

"Hi! You've reach Mark Sloan's phone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back."

"Hey Mark! It's Meredith. Listen George said…" she started before she heard the phone being picked up and Mark answer her.

"Meredith, hi! I'm sorry I was on my way out," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I could call you later. It is not urgent."

"No. Now is fine. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, George said you called."

"Oh! Yes, that... I was wondering if you wanted to do something this Saturday."

"All right. Sure. Did you have a plan in mind?" she asked with no excitement in her voice. He was her boyfriend, she had to remind herself. She should spend time with him. That's how it worked. You don't cheat on your boyfriend with your heartbreaking, lying ex who you were and maybe still are in love with... That's the reason she gave up on Derek after all.

"No, not really." The usual awkward silence they were accustomed to followed this sentence before he spoke again. "Ok, then. I have to go. I'll see you later."

"Right, ok. Goodbye."

She waited until he hung up before doing the same. Why couldn't she talk to Mark and even more importantly why did everything go back to Derek? It wasn't fair. She though she was over him. Why did he have to ruin everything? Why did he have to hurt her even more? Why did he have to love her now that it was too late?

Meredith turned on the T.V. to try to stop those depressing thoughts from taking control of her once more, but it didn't work. She couldn't concentrate on anything else. She groaned in frustration.

There was only one thing to do. It was pathetic, but she had no other choices. Meredith went to her room and changed in her pajamas. She closed the blind and laid down on her bed. She was going to stay in there and leave course to her sulkiness until she had to work again, but Derek Shepard would not win. It would pass and he would never know that he still had that power over her.