Gaara's Freaky Morning

So sorry for the long wait, but I have been temporally retarded, and could not think. So sorry again. Here is the long waited chapter.

Gaara POV

'Hinata has friends … that are guys! WHAT IF THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON HER, OR SHE HAS CRUSH ON ONE THEM. OH MY GOD, WHAT IF THEY ARE DOING A THREESOME RIGHT NOW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH DIRTY PICTURES!' As the minutes went by, my mental statabilitie was failing me, or at least it would if I ever had It. I was pissed, more pissed than when Kankouro drew naked ladies on the walls at home, and blamed it on ME! Then I had to blame it on Temari, which landed our father in, 'Accept Your Daughter' classes. I learned a very important lesson that day, Temari's anger issues are scarier than Gai in a speedo. 'I mean, who do those jerks think they are, coming in and being all buddy buddy with my girl. Bastards!'

"Little bro … please stop looking like your going to blow up something, cause you make me want to go and call the bomb squad."

I just gave him my famous death glare.

"If you could kill people with that stare, you would wipe out the entire human race, and then have to fuck a goat to repopulate the world, so if I were you I'd stop before having to father deformed goat people."

To spacey to care about his oppinion, I spoke of what was stuck in my mind.

"Kankouro … do you think I'm good looking."

"Honestly … …. …. FUCK NO!"

"WHAT!" That was not what I excepted.

"What I mean Gaara, is… … you look like a Fuckin Irish Freddy, and compared to me a piece of crap on the sidewalk."

"Well you look like a cross dressing batman groopy, with all that make up and crap."

"This is face paint, not make up. Unlike make up, face paint is manly."

"There is nothing manly about lipstick."

"Shut up you, … you … gothic lepardcon."

Before I could make a come back, or kill Kankouro, a very surprised voice called out.

"HE IS!"

A very entoxicated Temari stepped into the room clumsily. As Temari walked closer into the room, she pointed accusingly at me.

"You bastard! How dare you pose as my little brother, EVIL LEPARDCON!"

"Temari what are you talking about, it's me, Gaara."

"Cut the crap, you irish migate, and give me your gold."

"Temari, your cra-" Before I could finish, my head was hit with a flying chair. I was laying on the floor now, with Temari searching my pockets and Kankouro dying from laughter.

"What are you laughing bat boy?" Temari had stopped mugging me and turned to the now terrified Kankouro.'Temari is usually the sensiable one, what could possibly make her act like thi- wait she hasn't had it!'

"Temari you haven't had, … … POCKY!" dun,dun,duuun

Temari stopped beating the crap out of Kankouro and turn to me, "Gaara when did you get here." Her eye was twitchin the whole time.

"I'm guessing yes."

"Gaara, I have the greatest news ever!"

I wasn't really listening to her at that point, since I was to busy wondering about the still body that used to be my big brother. 'Is he dead, … god I hope so, that would save me soooooooo much trouble.' I walked over to him, and kicked him. Nothing 'Well that's one down.'

"I'm rooming with your little friend Hinata!"

'One to go.'

"What! You didn't say anthing stupid did you."

An expression of total fear, and realization hit her face. "N-no, not at all."

"Temari, I swear if you-."

" POCKY STICKS OF DOOM!" Temari screams as she starts to throwing abnormally sharp sticks of pocky at me.

"How could they give this stuff to children!" I screamed as I dived to the floor.

Now after 10 minutes of trying to escape the evil pocky sticks, and having to do postions that not even a hooker would know, Temari ran out of pocky, and was freaking out, screaming, "My Prrreeecccious, my Prrreeecccious!"

"Hey, why don't you go to the pool, and set off some of your Pocky sticks of insanity there."

"Wonderful idea little brother, come bat fag, and let us bring chaos to the pooool, MMMWWWAHHHH, HA, HA, HA, MWAH."

Kankouro didn't move an inch.

"Where there will be girls wearing skimpy bikinis." Temari added.

Kankouro was out the door, leaving a dust cloud the size of Texas behind him, while screaming, " Come to me my lovelys." And the horrifide screams of thousands of girls following it.

"Bye bye now." Temari skipped out the door.

"I hate my life." And I walked out the door, to save my Hinata from the evil dog and bug. I searched for hours (actually five minutes) and when I finally found her, the dog was hanging on her like a drunken monkey.

"Yo, Hinata isn't that your little red head staker dude, Gaara was it."

"Oh Gaara, I'm glad you're here. Wanna come with us to the pool."

"Sure I'd love to." Then we all skipped like we were those tardes on the yellow brick road, and when we got there was a cold welcome from the bug-nerd himself.

"You all came just in time, these two Maniacs just left." I knew exactly who he was talking about.

Kiba and Hinata gave him disbelieving looks so he started explaining, but before he could utter a word I screamed, "Get in before they come back." Everybody moved like frickin Flash on speed, three minutes later we were all in the pool, and then I heard dog boy scream, "Chicken, chicken!" I could tell that this was going to be a long day.

OMG I'm evil, I left you guys with a cliff hanger, anyways the Ransom is 10 reviews, and I'd like to apologize on making this chap so short and for not updating soon, so seey.