TITLE: Somewhere, The Fates Are Laughing At Me
SUMMARY:For Rika Haruko, eating a blessed fruit which leads to being cursed like the one on the Sohma family and impersonate her twin brother are the least of her worries when she has to deal with love! Oh, and did I mention she has an active conscience?
DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own anime/manga/products of Fruits Basket, so don't attempt to sue me. Thank-you.
IMPORTANT: "..." speech )...( annoying A/N interruptions ------ Rika might have an annoying conscience that talks to her throughout the story, I haven't decided yet.
Make them 16 (Hatsuharu and Momiji) or 17 (Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, etc.), the rest, I don't remember -.-
-.-
RECAP:
"Okay!" Rika answered her fist in the air as well. "And our first target is…"
"YUKI AND TOHRU!" they both shouted with evil glee. (Back at the house, Yuki shuddered in his room and Tohru dropped a plate.)
Chapter 9: Cupids Strike: Princes, Onigiris, Movies, and cell phones !
"I can't believe it took us TWO weeks to finish this stupid tape," Rika muttered with some annoyance. It was her third week as a permanent resident in Shigure's house, and she was very impatient. Why? You may ask, well, because her plan with Momiji to get the two love sick teenagers together was getting more and more complicated by the day. Editing yet another piece of footage for tonight's plan, she sighed.
"But…WE'RE DONE! YEA! FINALLY DONE!" Momiji said after another hour with much joy.
"Not done," she reminded, "Phase one done, phase two, three, and four isn't."
"Phase one will be easy! It's three and four I'm scared of," Cupid Bunny said with a slight frown.
"Really? Scared of what?" Rika asked, confused.
"Kyo's and Yuki's wrath," was the simple reply.
"Oh, well…let me take care of Yuki and Tohru, it'll be easy to drive Kyo out with Kagura's help, too," she said after some thought.
"Hai, ma'am! I'm on the job!" Momiji saluted, but then added, "But YOU have to take care of Shigure, Riku!" With a shake and a wish of luck, Momiji parted from his partner in crime and skipped down merrily to the main house. Okay, I can do this! Rika said, trying to give herself confidence. Looking at the doorway that led to the hall, she thought at in a more serious tone, but first…The Prince and the Onigiri.
Walking down the hall, tip-toeing past Yuki and Kyo's rooms, she was about to put a foot on the first step that led to the kitchen when suddenly, Shigure's sing-song voice came slithering out of the room to her left.
"Riiiiiiiikkkkkkkuuuuu-kuuun, is that you? Can you come in for a bit?" Groaning inwardly, she approached the door and flung it open, thinking, Fine then, change of plans, I'll get Shigure first!
Rika's POV
As I entered the author's room, I felt some forbidding. Why? I have no clue, and started to brush the feeling off when it came back. Darn conscience, darn it!
'This 'forbidding' you feel is called guilt" it said in a matter-oh-fact tone.
Not you! Can't you freaking give it a rest! I screamed mentally.
'No. I bet Shigure-san's gonna kick you out! You're such a freeloader, Rika-chan.' If it had a face, I bet it'd be smirking right now.
You bothered me every time I helped Momiji, and yet you're still not satisfied with the headaches you give me! And on top of that, if I'm a freeloader, than so are you! My stupid conscience fell silent, as I smiled smugly to it. Oh yes, I DO feel a bit crazy now.
"Riku-kun?" snapping out of my metal conversation, I found the supposed author staring intently up at me from his sitting position.
"Err…yes? What can I do for you, Shigure-san?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing really…just answer some questions, will you please?" sitting straighter, he motioned me to take a seat facing him.
"Umm…sure, Shigure-san…" Oh no! Did he find out about the mess in the living room, because that was NOT my fault! How was I supposed to know leeks were an ultimate taboo with Kyo!
"Heh, don't worry, I don't care about the living room, the repairs are billed to Kyo!" Shigure said with a goofy grin, breaking the cool act he had before. "No, I just wanted to ask some friendly questions, to make you feel right at home!"
"S-sure…" I began, unsure of what to do, I mean, nobody gave a penny to what I thought! Wait…this gives me an idea…Turning to him and giving him one of my slyest smiles, I suggested, a trade.
"Trade, what do you mean?" Shigure asked with some befuddlement. My smile widened. Getting Shigure to our side would be very easy indeed…leaning over, I whispered hurriedly about Momiji-kun and my plan for two particular teenagers; at the very mention of the words 'Yuki', 'Tohru', and 'plan', Shigure's whole face lit up with a devil smirk.
"Ahh, very interesting, Riku-kun! I think there is hope for you yet…but, how does this involve trading?"
"Well…" I began, with a finger on my chin, "I'll answer all your questions, I suppose, and you could help out. When Momiji comes back, we'll explain the whole thing…"
"Did you hear me, Riku-kun?" snapping out of my daze, I smiled and laughed, putting a hand to my head. "Erm, no, actually. Sorry about that!"
"I was asking, what-," Before he could continue, Momiji, our cupid bunny came leaping in, announcing that reliable Kagura had successfully dragged off a screaming Kyo to the movies for a date. I wondered with some amusement how the movie theater would allow a screaming Kyo inside.
"Sorry, Shigure, maybe later, lets get this plan into action, first!" I said happily with a fist to the air.
Normal POV
Inside Kitchen with Tohru
As Tohru hummed happily as she set her soup to a low simmer on the stove. As she started to chop some leeks, Rika walked in, acting sad and depressed. Surprised, Tohru stopped her cooking.
"Riku, what's wrong?" Tohru asked, her face clearly worried.
"Oh, nothing, nothing at all…Well…maybe something…" Rika said, praying that her acting was okay. She guessed it was since Tohru continued to ask what was wrong.
"Eh, are you sick! I hope not-here, lie down! I-I'll go get some medicine! And-"
"No, Tohru, it's just that…I have no one to watch this movie with!" Rika said, holding out an innocent looking tape.
"Ano…? Oh, Rika! Don't be too sad, here, I'll watch with you!" Tohru said, she smiled when Rika started doing a little dance.
"Thanks-thanks so much! Umm…bye, I gotta go get something! We'll watch the movie when I get downstairs!" Rika rushed the stairs, to Yuki's room. She pounded on the poor door until a rather irked teenage boy possessed by a rat spirit came out.
"Ehh? Haruka-san? What's wrong?" Yuki said, a bit slurred. 'Must have been sleeping…' Rika thought, a bit amused.
"Hey, Yuki, wanna watch a home movie with me?" Rika asked with a friendly smile. The door slammed shut in her face. Pounding on it again for a few minutes, she heard a muffled shout.
"I'm umm…studying, Haruka-san, sorry!" 'Yeah right! More like sleeping!' Rika mentally retorted. After a minute standing in front of his room, a sly smile cam across her features.
"Ooh well! I guess I'll watch this ROMANTIC movie…alone…" And turned around to the stairs, adding a bit loudly so she KNEW that Yuki would hear her perfectly,
"With TOHRU" chuckling evilly, she started the count down.
'Three…'
She heard a distinct crash on the other side…
'Two…'
Then some colorful language she had no idea the prince would know, let alone hear from his mouth.
'One!' her mind mentally shouted, unable to hide her smirk, she didn't turn around when the door slammed open, imprinting a beautiful inch deep mark at the unfortunate wall.
"Oh? You want to watch after all? I guess it's us three then, not just me and Tohru…" walking down, she saw Tohru seated on the couch, with a bowl of popcorn. She smiled happily as her two other friends sat down, her in the middle. Rika popped in the tape, but before she turned it on, she faced the two others.
"Promise me, even if this gets too fluffy or anything, you'll watch until the ending. Very confused, they just shook their heads in agreement. "Perfect," and turned it on.
Suddenly, some cheesy romantic music floated to their ears, and Rika silently excused her self to the bathroom. Closing and locking the only door that led to the living room, she jogged over to Shigure and Momiji, who was just outside the window, witnessing their plan unfold.
"Hehehehe…" Rika said, as she slid over to her other partners in crime. "How's it going, so far, Cupid Bunny?" Momiji snickered in return.
"See for yourself!" Shigure said in a hushed whisper, holding a video camera to the window. Rika blinked.
"Shigure-san, why do you have a camera?"
"Blackmail" was the simple answer.
"Oh," the girl said stupidly, before turning back to the poor couple-to-be. Although their faces couldn't be seen, Rika knew that Tohru's eyes would be the size of a dish bowl, and Yuki's mouth would be resting on the floor by now.
"Ooh, here comes the best scene!" Momiji said excitedly in a hushed whisper. On the screen was the recording of the picnic that they had a week before. Not only that, but Tohru's face and Yuki's kept flashing up, how Yuki would be staring at Tohru, or Tohru laughing with Yuki. Basically, all the sweet, gooey, fluffy little instances between the rat and the rice ball that made even sweets loving Momiji cringe at.
As the scene faded away to yet another part at school, Yuki got up and half ran, half walked to the door, rattling the door. After awhile, he banged his head on it. Tohru, rather concerned, ran up to him, all the while ranting if he needed ice or not.
"Funny, this is, like, the fifth time he did that…thought he'd be smart to know that the door was locked after the first time…" Rika murmured, getting out a cell phone. Quickly dialing the number, she waited for the phone to ring.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIING
The two trapped teens stared at the phone.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIING
Then, stared at each other in silence.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIING
Yuki slowly picked up the phone and Rika prepared her voice.
"Ehh…Hello? The Sohma house, who is calling?"
"SOHMA! GET YER ASS UP AND TELL TOHRU THAT YA LOVE HER, YA HEAR!" Rika shouted in her most country and masculine voice she could muster. Yuki just slammed the phone down.
"Who was that, Yuki-kun?" Tohru asked innocently. Yuki almost fell to the floor. 'Is she deaf!' Yuki thought with sweat drops all over his head.
Maybe, very, VERY deaf! The rat interjected happily.
'…Shut-up' "No one important, Honda-san" Yuki replied calmly, shutting the rat out.
Outside, the trio all slapped their foreheads.
"My turn to try, Riku!" Momiji said, taking the cell phone out of her hands, and started to dial.
"Heellllllloooo? Yuki? Hiya, why don't you go and tell Tohru you love her, you might get a big fat kiss! What? Yes, I'm listening, what?" Momiji said cheerfully. After listening to the phone for about thirty seconds, Momiji hung up the phone and his face turned snowy white. The two others looked at the pale rabbit and then to the window, where they saw a worried and confused Tohru and a Yuki with an aura that spelt out DEATH.
"Ehh, Momiji?" Rika asked, a bit frightened.
"H-he said he'll…." Momiji started.
"What will he do, Momiji?" Shigure asked, a bit worried as well.
"That he'll skin us and burn us alive in hot oil! And then-and then…" Momiji squeaked and whispered the rest to Rika's ear.
"Oh…My…God…" Rika said eyes wide and full of fear.
Meanwhile, Inside Living Room With Tohru And Yuki
"Y-Yuki-kun? Are you alright?" Tohru asked, dimly sensing his aura that spelled out DEATH.
"Yes, Honda-san, perfectly alright" Yuk replied through gritted teeth, wondering if he should pull out Momiji's hair after or before he skinned him alive…
"W-well, Yuki-kun, the movie made me realize something!" Tohru said, mustering a bit of courage. Yuki looked at her. 'D-did she find out that I love her!' Yuki thought in panic.
"What, Honda-san?" he inquired, trying to remain calm.
"T-that you…" she began, not meeting his eyes.
"That I what?" Yuki asked, heart racing.
"That you don't really like leeks!" Upon hearing this, Yuki fell to the floor, with a WTF look on his face. "I-I mean, like in the scene when we were eating dinner, you hardly touched them, even when you asked me to cook them!" After a second of silence, her eyes widened, and she bowed to him.
"I-I must be a terrible cook, if you don't want to eat the very thing you like! I-I'm so sorry that I can't cook, Yuki-kun, really!"
"H-Honda-san, it's not that at all, I um, love the food you cook, honest!" Yuki said, trying to calm the girl down. "I'm sorry; I made you worry about something unnecessary, again." Yuki added as an after thought.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIING
Once again, the dreaded phone rang. Yuki went towards it, preparing some more threats to whoever it was, but a slim hand stopped him.
"Let me get it, Yuki-kun" Tohru said with a gentle smile. Hesitating, Yuki made way for her.
"Hello? Oh! Shigure-san, why are you calling?" Yuki thought nothing of it, thinking only Momiji and some guy with a bad country accent was in on this plot.
"…really? O-okay, if you think-yes, okay! Good-bye, now." Hanging up the phone, Yuki heard the girl besides him take in a deep breath.
"Yuki-kun, there's something you need to know." Yuki glanced at her, and couldn't help but stare a bit. The evening sun was on her, and to him she looked, well, 'beautiful…' Yuki thought silently in wonder.
"Hmm? Yes, Tohru-I-I mean Honda-san?" Yuki asked.
"I-I, have to tell you that, I-I know." Tohru said in a solemn voice.
"Know what?" The prince said, a bit confused.
"I mean, I know. And, I f-feel the same way," Tohru said finished off. Yuki's eyes widened in shock.
"R-really!" he exclaimed, not believing. 'Honda-no, Tohru loves me, too!' Yuki thought with a frantic beating heart.
"Well…um…yes?" she answered unsurely, but Yuki ignored that, and, making sure he didn't hug her, gave her a light, innocent kiss. Drawing back, he saw Tohru stunned. Thinking he was wrong, he was about to turn away, when he saw her smile happily.
'Hmm…maybe I won't skin them after all…' Yuki silently mused. He leaned forward for another kiss…
"And that's all you two will be seeing!" Shigure said cheerfully, covering their eyes.
"Ehh! B-but, how? When? What'd you do, Shigure?" Momiji asked, surprised.
"Well, while you two were both cowering in fear, and writing your wills, I took the phone and had a little chat with our little flower in there."
"Wait, you told her that Yuki liked her!" Rika shouted in surprise. Laughing, the dog shook his head.
"Of course not! I just gave her a script, she just followed it!" he said with a laugh. Shaking his head slightly, he patted his camera which contained the fluffy little interaction. 'Oh yea, this is definitely blackmail, alright!' Shigure thought with some joy.
-.-
Hitaru: Sorry, it was a bit OC-ish! OH, AND I'M SORRY, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO REREAD THIS OVER 'CUZ I'M SICK AND TOO LAZY TO, SO, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY FOR THE GRAMMER ERRORS AND SO FORTH!
Mini-Waffle: Seven freaking pages….
Hitaru: Hehe, well, I took a long time to up-date, so, yea…thought I'd make it up to you guys…
Mini-Waffle: And the fluff…
Hitaru: Well, SORRY! Anyways, up-dates might be random from now on…(dodges pointy objects with pretend ninja skills)
Mini-Waffle: Blame High school.
Hitaru: Yea! Go and blame them!
Mini-Waffle: Anyways, 6 reviews until the next chappy, 'kay? And we KNOW there are more than just SEVEN people who read this!
Hitaru: Don't I demand reviews?
Mini-Waffle: Well, the longer you wait to up-date, the longer it takes for me to know what happens!
Hitaru: Ahh, thanks, anyways, HERE'S A POLL FOR WHAT THE ANIMAL RIKA TURNS INTO SHOULD BE! You see, at first, I had one animal in mind, no, Aki-Shi-Kitsune'sxxx.Pyro Eclipse.xxxTeenAnimeLoverit WAS NTO A FOX! But, since EVERYONE likes foxes (xxx.Pyro Eclipse.xxx I decided to have a poll!
Poll for the Animal!
-A bird (up to me, though)
-A fox
-Any other animal, but you guys gotta say what and why, well…not why, but it'd be nice!
Mini-Waffle: Annnnnnnnnnd, that's about it.
Hitaru: See you guys in the next chapter, I'll reveal how long this story's gonna be! And any other questions you may have for me! DON'T FORGET TO ASK!
...And they all walked away