chapter 7

Ministry of Magic...

John Lupin looked at his son through the corner of his eyes but said nothing. Last night's transformation had not been any different from the others – lots of blood, bruises and broken bones. He had healed them all of course, down to the very last scratch. There wasn't a single sign that could point out how rough a night his boy had really had. But then, there was the fatigue, and that was one thing John Lupin could do nothing about. He'd given Remus some Pepper Up potion but judging by his son's expression, it was wearing off quickly, and they had only just gotten to the ministry.

Remus swayed dangerously as they walked down the corridors of the Werewolf Registry, and John held him firmly by the shoulder. He would have preferred carrying him all the way, but Remus would whine and complain all the way about how embarrassing it was and how he was old and strong enough to walk by himself. Stubborn little bugger.

John rapped the door with his fist lightly and it immediately swung open to reveal his old high school mate and co-worker, Lionel White. Even now, they were the best of friends, and often met up for a drink or two. John Lupin admired him, mostly because he was one of the few people who'd been there for him when Remus had been bitten. Apart from that, Lionel had an excellent sense of humour, his name often being the butt of his jokes. Ironically, he was anything but white.

'Been waiting for hours, mate. What took you so long?' he asked, embracing John in a one armed hug.

'Remus needed to get a judicial report and a medical examination done before the registration. He was exhausted by the time we were done, so I let him sleep for half an hour. I hope you don't mind,' said John, handing over the files he'd been carrying.

Lionel waved it off. 'Spare the formalities, Lupin. I don't need a bunch of papers to tell me Remus is clean. Haven't seen you in quite a while. How have you been?'

John picked Remus up, ignoring the weak sounds of protests and set him down on the examination table. 'I've been better.'

Lionel bit his lip, his eyes reflecting the sympathy he felt for his friend. His gaze shifted towards Remus who was trying very hard to stay awake and he felt himself smile. 'You seem to have grown since I last saw you, Remus. They feeding you something extra in Hogwarts?'

Remus chuckled quietly but said nothing, choosing to lean against his father's arm instead. His eyes

drooped slightly, shot open again and then settled to a half close. Lionel looked back towards John. 'Can I talk to you for a minute?'

John nodded and looked down at Remus, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 'Can you stay awake a little longer, lad? We'll just be a moment.'

John moved away only when he'd received the affirmative nod from his son, and Lionel quickly pulled him aside, making sure he was well out of earshot before saying anything. 'Listen, John, I'm not going to sugar coat this for you. This process isn't going to be easy on Remus. Ten percent of the ink composition is silver. Ministry rules. They want to make sure the code stays imprinted forever. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?'

John blinked, not believing what he was hearing. 'Like a scar or a permanent burn. But Len, I-'

Lionel cut him off. 'I know you, John. You're going to break. I've seen you before. You can't seem to control your emotions whenever Remus is involved. But I'm begging you now - do not show your fear. If Remus sees you panic, the pain will only be more pronounced to him. I need you to stay calm, okay?'

John stopped himself from running a nervous hand through his hair. He could feel Remus watching him intently. So instead, he smiled. 'Can't you give him some sedatives or something?' His tone was desperate, pleading.

Lionel shook his head. 'Reacts violently with the ink. It's better off this way.'

John just stood there for a moment, eyes closed, trying to gather up all the information he'd received. Finally he nodded and straightened his shoulders. 'Let's get over with this then.'

Lionel nodded and walked back to his desk, giving Remus a smile on his way. He knew Remus was watching him, soft amber eyes curious and wide with apprehension. But when Lionel turned to look his way, Remus just smiled bitterly. He knows, thought Lionel, looking intently at the boy. John was right. The kid's too smart for his own good.

'I need you to take off your shirt and lie down on your stomach, Remus,' he said quietly, as he ran his index across the register, searching for Remus's name.

John knew he was supposed to remain stoic and unfeeling, but as he watched Lionel load the code into the apparatus and position it at the base of Remus's neck, he couldn't help it. He twined his fingers with his son's and held on loosely. Remus squeezed back in assurance and John closed his eyes. Let it be quick. Please God, let it be quick. There was a low hum from the device, followed by a click as the ink shot out, and then there were only mind numbing screams that echoed in John Lupin's mind long after his son had passed out.

xxx

'Remus.' Lily shook the slumbering boy by his shoulder. 'Remus!'

'Ungh...' was all Remus said before digging his head deeper into the circle of his arms. Another violent shake. 'Remus, get up!'

Remus's eyes snapped open and his whole body tensed as he shot up straight on his seat. He blinked rapidly and then closed his eyes in relief when he realised that it was only Lily. She could

literally see his body relaxing as he leaned against the back of the chair. 'Lily...' he said slowly, rubbing his face with his hand.

'Class is over, Remus,' she said, looking around pointedly at the empty classroom. 'You'll be late for lunch.'

Remus ran a hand through his hair, nodded and got up. 'Can't help it, I guess. Binns can be such a bore sometimes,' he said, stretching his muscles and grinning up at her.

Lily raised an eyebrow. 'We were having transfiguration.' She laughed when she saw her friend blush sheepishly. 'I'm surprised you didn't end up with detention. Matthew tried to wake you up when Mc Gonagall was passing by your seat, but you were dead to the world. Oddly, she saw you but completely ignored it.'

Lily didn't miss the flicker of anxiousness in Remus's eyes, but it was gone before she could say anything about it. 'Do you think she fancies me?' he asked bumping playfully into her shoulder and winking at her.

'You wish, Remus Lupin,' she chuckled as she walked out of the classroom. She watched as her friend slung his bag over his shoulder and waited for him to catch up. He was smiling, but his posture screamed exhaustion. His face looked oddly flushed and there was a shiny film of sweat forming on his forehead. It was no exaggeration when Lily thought that he looked like he'd been run over by a bus. 'Are you okay, Remus?' she asked, concerned. 'Mc Gonagall told me you were sick.' She placed a gentle hand on his arm. 'I was worried.'

Remus rubbed the back if his neck underneath his shirt collar. 'I'm fine, thank you. A little tired, but I'll live,' he said smiling and moving his arm slightly, so that Lily's hand dropped to her side.

Oh, Remus. Lily knew he wasn't okay. Not only was it apparent in his eyes, but she'd also seen him swallow a couple of muggle pills before class.

'So, what did you guys do in Transfiguration while I was in my own little fantasy land?'

'Nothing much, really. We were just covering the basics. She snapped a couple of times at Black and Potter, but that's about it.' Lily frowned disapprovingly. 'I'd keep out of those two's way if I were you. They're upto something, I can tell.'

Remus's eyes sparkled oddly and he grinned. 'It's okay, Lily. They're really quite harmless. I think –'

But Remus never got to complete his sentence because a red beam of light hit him directly at the back of his neck. There was a second when Lily watched, horrified, as Remus's face contorted with pain and then he fell to the ground, unconscious.

'Remus!' She whipped around, pulling her wand out her pocket.

There they were, the culprits, and the bloody berks were laughing; atleast one of them was. XxxxX

'Hm...let's see. So far, I've managed to die Snape's hair pink, grow tentacles on his head, make his potion blow up on his face, and make him fall face first in dog shit. One more, Sirius, and I win the bet,' said James smugly as they walked down the empty corridors.

'Don't be so over confident, James. There's still time,' Sirius replied haughtily.

James shrugged. 'I don't know why you didn't bother pranking him in Transfiguration itself. He was sleeping throughout class. You could have easily won the bet.'

'It's lowly to attack a man while he's not conscious of the world around him. There's no honour in such a victory,' said Sirius, brushing off imaginary dust from his sleeves.

James rolled his eyes. 'Please, since when did you care about honour? You were just too chicken to do it under Mc Googly's nose.'

'Hardly.' And it was true. Sirius wasn't afraid of anyone, Mc Googly or not. It was also true that his reason for not pranking Lupin right then had been anything but honour. When Sirius had seen Lupin sleeping so peacefully, it had seemed almost cruel to disturb him, so he let him be.

James grinned teasingly. 'Going all soft over Lupin then, are you?'

Sirius's lip curled. 'Don't be disgusting, Potter.'

James stopped suddenly and crossed his arms over his chest. 'Prove it then. Lupin's right there, walking in front of us.' He said pointing at the two figures in front of them. 'The corridors are empty save for Lupin, that red head, and us. Go on, I'm giving you a chance to win that bet.'

Sirius stared at Lupin talking animatedly with that Evans red head. He watched as she placed a hand on his arm and smiled sweetly. 'Fine,' snapped Sirius, pulling his wand out of his robes and aiming. Stupid James. Stupid Lupin. Stupid what's her name.

And then, Lupin collapsed, which was not at all what the book he'd learnt it from, had described would happen. In fact, it wasn't even close. Lupin was supposed to experience a violent overgrowth of hair, not fall to the ground, and God...was he unconscious?

James on the other hand hadn't noticed Lupin fall at all, and he thumped Sirius on the back enthusiastically. 'I can't believe you finally got him!' He whooped, but stopped from any further festivities when he saw his friend's face. What's with him?

'Siri-'

Sirius looked at him, his face white as sheet. 'James, I think I killed him...'

James followed his gaze, finally landing on the fallen form of Remus Lupin. 'Oh shit.' And then, all of a sudden James found himself pushed against the wall, fiery green eyes boring into him.

'You bloody prick!' screamed Lily Evans, wand raised. 'What the hell did you do?'

James struggled to keep his panic under control. Was he being attacked? Evans certainly looked capable of murder. Should he take out his wand and fight back? No, he couldn't do that. Evans was...well...she was a girl. 'Calm down, Evans!' he said, raising his hands. 'It was just a harmless prank, okay! We didn't mean anything by it!'

Her wand jabbed into his jugular. 'Does that look harmless to you, Potter?' Evans asked through clenched teeth. 'Does it? If you idiots had actually taken the time to look beyond your own self centered worlds, then you would have noticed that Remus has been sick the whole day.' Her wand drifted lower, down to the middle of his chest, and James gulped. 'But you don't care, do you? All that you, and Black are bothered about are your sick little jokes.'

'MISS EVANS! PUT THAT WAND DOWN THIS INSTANT!'

Evans growled but complied, shooting James a dirty look, before turning towards Professor McGonagall. James heaved a sigh of relief.

'I'm sorry, Professor,' she said straightening her robes. 'I lost control. But Potter and Black, here thought it would be funny to attack Remus behind his back, and he passed out before I could do anything.'

McGonagall's eyes widened and she turned around so fast that strands of hair flew out of her tight bun. 'Good grief, child! You should have taken him to the hospital wing!' She turned back to Evans and raised her arms in exasperation. 'Well, where is he?'

Lily looked around, baffled. 'He was right here, Professor. I-' James stared. 'Wait, Sirius is gone too.'

xxx

'Don't you think the flowers and chocolates are a bit too much, Sirius?' asked James as they walked towards the infirmary.

Sirius finger combed his hair. It was getting a bit too long and he'd sort of grown to like it that way. 'It's called courtesy, James, but I wouldn't expect you to know anything about it.'

'Really? I thought you gave people flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day,' teased James, winking mischievously at Sirius. 'You know, as a token of undying affection and looovvee.' He mock swooned.

Sirius cuffed James and stopped at the doors of the Infirmary. 'Shut up and try to look guilty.'

James squawked indignantly. 'Guilty? I'm not the one who hexed him to oblivion and got away with it scott free, while his best friend cleans horse shit for the rest of the week.'

Sirius smiled smugly, turning the door handles. 'It's called tactics, Potter. Every good prankster must have them.'

James snorted. 'Tactics, my arse. You were busy saving the damsel in distress. The distress you created, might I add.'

Sirius ignored his friend and looked around the hospital wing, spotting Lupin in the farthest corner of the room, right beside the window. He was lying down on his side, facing away from them, but Sirius knew that mop of hair anywhere. Lupin and Snape were the only ones in Hogwarts with hair beyond their shoulders, and Lupin was the only one who could carry it off without looking like a girl or a greasy git. He walked towards Lupin's bedside and set down the chocolates and flowers on the side table.

James poked his still form hesitantly. 'Is he breathing?'

Sirius peered cautiously, trying to look beyond the veil of hair covering Lupin's face. 'He was, last time I checked. He's just sleeping.' He turned to face his best friend and shrugged. 'Maybe we should just go. I mean, I've apologised, haven't I?' he said, pointing towards the little tokens he'd placed neatly on the table.

'Last time I checked, an apology actually involved the words, 'I'm sorry', Black.' Both James, and Sirius jumped upon hearing Lupin's voice, husky from sleep. Lupin sat up on his bed, and rubbed his eyes with his fist. 'Thank you for the chocolates though,' he said, picking one up and popping it into his mouth.

'You're awake,' said James, stating the obvious.

Lupin chuckled. 'It's a little hard to sleep with people poking at my face. Want some?' he asked handing them the box of chocolates. He smiled when both Sirius and James helped themselves to a handful and shifted a little to the side. 'Sit down then. It's a weekend, there's plenty of chocolate and words of apology are really not that hard to say.'

Sirius huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, as he flopped down on the bed. 'Fine. I'm sorry, okay! Who knew you'd be such a weakling? The spell didn't even work, and you went all girly and fainted.'

Lupin chuckled, and Sirius realised right then that Lupin knew he was being a smart mouthed, annoying prat, and enjoying it too. But then, the amber-eyed boy stopped and frowned as if deep in thought. 'I guess the spell reacted with the painkillers I had earlier or something. I can't tell. Oh well, doesn't matter,' he said, popping another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

Sirius and James looked at each other guiltily. Sirius wanted to apologise again, this time a little more nicely, but he couldn't bring down his pride to do so. So instead, he changed the topic to something that had been bothering him since Lupin woke up. 'How did you know it was me?'

Lupin popped another chocolate in his mouth. 'What?'

'When you woke up. You had your face turned the opposite way. How did you know it was me?'

Lupin frowned. 'I don't know. I just...sensed you, I guess.'

James stared at him. 'You do know, Lupin, that this does nothing to soothe your reputation as the freaky kid in school.'

Lupin shrugged, but Sirius noticed a flicker of sadness in his eyes, and he mentally cursed James for being so insensitive. 'So we're even then?' Sirius asked, getting up and straightening his robes.

Lupin grinned and swiftly grabbed his wand from the bedside table. Before Sirius could react, or register what was happening, both, his and James's eyebrows were growing at an insane pace. 'Yeah, we're even,' chuckled Lupin.

They'd all burst into laughter after that. James had even parted the curtain of eyebrow hair and grinned widely at the both of them before exclaiming, 'I told you he was a bloody genius!'

They'd visited Remus everyday after that day, little Peter often tagging along. And that alone was enough to start one of the most legendary friendships Hogwarts had ever known. It wasn't that all of a sudden Remus had dropped all his reserve and caution to the wind. But he should have known from the very beginning, that a person as friendly, sarcastic, and wonderful as Remus Lupin was hard not to be friends with; and very hard to dislike, no matter what Sirius said. And after all, Sirius, James and Peter were only first years, concluded Remus after a few months. They'd never find out his secret, right?

chapter 8

Platform 9 34...

Sirius's eyes followed James Potter as he bid goodbye to all of them and walked towards his parents. Mr. And Mrs. Potter, Sirius noted, looked anything but pureblood. It was a well known fact that the Potters were filthy rich, yet their appearance and conduct reflected none of it. Their robes were too casual, they smiled too much, talked too much, moved too much, touched too much, and Mrs. Potter, who James had obviously inherited his hair from, hadn't even tried to look presentable.

Sirius frowned. Sometimes he didn't understand how things so different from what he'd been taught worked just as well.

There was a sudden tap on his shoulder, and Sirius turned to face his second best friend: Remus Lupin. Yes, they were on first name basis now and as much as Sirius loathed to admit it, the boy was bloody good company. He wasn't like Peter, whom Sirius had particularly scorned at first but gotten used to, just like how one eventually grows to love the hairy mole on one's rear because it was an unavoidable part of them. (Not that he had a hairy mole on his rear, of course.) In fact, once they'd gotten to actually talking to Remus, both James and Sirius had found themselves warming up to him instantly, especially James who seemed to have a tendency of getting attached to people very easily.

'I'll see you next year then,' said Sirius finally, extending a hand towards Remus.

Remus laughed, his eyes shining with amusement. 'You can never drop the façade, can you, Sirius?' Nevertheless, he shook his hand. 'My dad's standing near the end over there,' he said, pointing towards his right. 'But he hasn't noticed me yet, so try not to draw too much attention, okay?'

Sirius quickly stuffed the fireworks James had given him before leaving, into his pockets. 'Moi?' he asked disbelievingly. 'Never.'

Remus raised his eyebrows and smiled. He squeezed Sirius's shoulder one last time and walked away. Sirius watched the long-haired boy take a more twisted route towards the end of the platform, winding through the crowd with admirable ease. Once he'd gotten near the barrier, he stopped and scuffed his shoes on the ground, as if preparing himself for a run. His expression looked every bit like a cheetah aiming for its prey. Sirius followed the direction of Remus's gaze to what he assumed would have to be Remus's father.

The first thought that came to Sirius's mind once his eyes had landed on Mr. Lupin was that this

was not the man you would want to cross. Remus was a splitting image of his father, down to the last freckle; but where Remus was slight and petite, John Lupin was broad and muscled. He wasn't tall enough to be deemed huge, but his physique made him look larger than he actually was. Sirius remembered Remus mentioning that he'd been an auror once. He must know of the Blacks then. Mr. Lupin's boyish features were marred because of his cold hard eyes and set chin. He was so stoic that if it hadn't been for the occasional blinking, Sirius would have mistaken him for a statue.

Sirius's gaze shifted back to his friend, who by now had broken into a mad run, readying himself for a leap. But he'd hardly come an inch closer to Mr. Lupin, when the man suddenly turned and caught Remus by the collar of his shirt. There were several tense moments where Mr. Lupin just stood there, his son dangling five feet above the ground by his collar. Sirius had actually considered calling for help because the man looked every bit capable of child abuse but then, Remus punched his father playfully and they burst out laughing and hugging. Sirius felt his lip curl with disgust at the public display of affection. What the hell was wrong with people here? Why in God's name did they insist on touching so much?

A croaky voice broke through Sirius's thoughts. 'Does young Master intend on staying in the station all day?'

Sirius rolled his eyes and looked down. He recognised that voice anywhere. 'Kreacher.' He didn't like the house elf, not one bit. His expression was too sardonic and confident for a mere elf, and his behaviour was absolutely unacceptable. Mother pampers the thing too much. 'Lead the way then, Kreacher.'

'As young Master wishes. Master and Mistress won't be home until dinner, but have left specific instructions for you to follow once we are to reach home.'

Like I'm going to actually follow them. But Sirius nodded anyway. He hadn't really expected his parents to show up at the station. They had much more important matters to attend to than a son returning from school, even if he were absent for a little over half a year. It only made sense, he concluded. However, as he remembered the Potters, and Remus and his father, and even the Pettigrews, Sirius wished it wasn't so.

xxx

Remus entered the kitchen, clean and slightly damp. He'd arrived home late because of his father's abysmal driving. Not to mention, they'd gotten lost twice and to top it all off, it had started raining. By the time they'd actually made it back to the Lupin cottage, they were drenched, and filthy, and every bit disgruntled. His mother had yelled and sent both of them to the bathroom, complaining about clean floors and bloody wizards the whole time.

He'd finished his shower almost half an hour ago, but had avoided the kitchen in hopes of cooling his mother down a bit. Apparently, his tactic had worked because Delilah Lupin was humming to herself as she prepared the salad.

She didn't look up when she spoke to him. 'Remus, love, set the table, will you?'

Remus nodded and started arranging the cutlery splayed haphazardly on the counter.

'How's school been?' she asked conversationally.

Remus's face lit up instantly at the question. 'It's so excellent! I mean, dad's told me about it before

and all, but oh mum! I wish they'd let you see the place! There's just so much magic everywhere and there are these bizarre paintings, and-'

Delilah Lupin laughed. 'Slow down, baby. Breathing is essential for health.' She cleaned her hands on a kitchen towel and set the salad on the table. 'You sound happy though and that's all that matters,' she said, stroking his cheek. 'How's the neck been?'

Remus folded the last of the napkins. 'Still twinges after transformations but apart from that, I hardly ever know it's there.'

Del turned away to check on the roast. 'Hm...Lionel said your body would eventually adjust to it, but I worry sometimes.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You worry too much.'

'It's my job, baby. Honey! Dinner's ready!' she shouted, as she put on her oven mitts.

Remus laughed and sat down. 'Actually, I'm surprised you let dad drive your new car to the station and back.' He watched hungrily as his mother set the perfectly golden brown chicken on the table and sat down.

'I thought I'd cut him some slack. He's been begging since I bought that thing. Tell me.' She rested her chin on one hand. 'How bad was he?'

'If I were you, I'd keep those car keys hidden fifty feet underground.'

John Lupin entered the kitchen noisily. 'I heard that, you little brat,' he said settling down beside his wife. 'Honestly though, honey. I wasn't that bad.' He smiled at her sweetly and helped himself to the food on the table.

Remus snorted. 'Dad, you knocked down five different stop signs on three different junctions. You weren't bad, you were ghastly.'

John stabbed at his chicken moodily. 'You know, we really need to do something about that mouth of his. It's uncontrollable. You'd think after eleven years of nursing and pampering, he'd at least be a little grateful and support his old man.'

'You're not the one who carried him around in her stomach for nine months. It's only natural for him to be more loyal to his mother. Isn't that right, baby?' she said, reaching out and stroking her son's cheek.

Remus smirked pointedly at his father and leaned into her touch. 'Of course, mum.'

Dinner carried on that way, more than often punctuated with mindless banter and jokes from work or home. It was more than clear from their conversation that they intended to catch up on everything they'd missed over the last six months. In fact, it wasn't until they were digging into Remus's favourite chocolate chip ice cream that John Lupin voiced what had been troubling him since their return from the station.

'There was a boy staring at you in the station, Remus,' he said causally, as he swallowed a mouthful of ice cream.

Remus looked up surprised. 'Oh?'

John nodded. 'Hm. Black hair, slight tan, medium build.'

Must be either James or Sirius, thought Remus.

John frowned. 'He looked like there was something nasty stuck under his nose.' Definitely Sirius. 'It's the Black kid I'd told you about.'

His father looked up at him, concerned etched in every line of his face. 'Is he a friend?'

'An acquaintance,' said Remus dismissively. He could feel his mother's piercing gaze on him. He ignored her and smiled at his dad instead. 'Relax, dad. We hardly talk.' He knew his mother could see right through his lie but if she knew anything about it, she didn't voice it, and Remus was thankful for it.

Later, when Delilah Lupin had come upstairs to check up on her son, she'd kissed his forehead and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest with unease. 'I hope you know what you're doing, sweetheart.'

xxx

Sirius kissed his mother, touching his cheek to hers. 'Mother,' he greeted curtly. He nodded at Orion Black. 'Father.' He sat down in the farthest seat from them and waited for Kreacher to serve him. The food smelled particularly good today, and Sirius's stomach gave a lurch when the house elf filled his plate dutifully.

'It good you're here, Sirius,' his father said amiably. 'There are some pressing matters we needed to talk to you about. First of all, your mother and I would like to congratulate you on your outstanding results. We had our doubts after your sorting, but your performance has done justice to the Black name.'

Sirius nodded and tried his best not to eat too fast. Who cared about grades? He was starving.

'I understand that Gryffindor is not the most suitable environment for you, but Dumbledore is a hard man to convince. However, I still have few cards left at hand. I'm sure I can arrange something to suit your needs.'

Sirius swallowed. 'Au contraire, Father, that's hardly necessary. I assure you, I've found the environment in Gryffindor quite satisfactory.'

'Don't be ridiculous, Sirius,' his mother snapped, looking up at him with cold hard eyes. 'Gryffindor is laden with all kinds of lowly people – half bloods, and mudbloods, and what not. I hope you aren't fraternising with any of them.'

Sirius put down his fork and looked his mother directly in the eye. 'I am; three of them in fact.'

His parents looked beyond outraged, and Orion Black slammed his hand on the table angrily. But it was his wife who spoke first, 'Then I suggest you break ties with them immediately. You should know by now, that these people...these filth...they can never come up to our standards or ever achieve the purity we possess. They're uncivilised and pitiable, Sirius. We have taught you that time and time again.'

Anger shot through Sirius like fire. He'd had disagreements with his mother before, but this...this rage was new to him. They were liars, each and every one of them. Everything they'd said about half bloods and muggleborns were a lie. These people, they didn't want his money; they were certainly not cruel or unkind; and they ate, slept and breathed just like the rest of the

pureblood community did. In fact, he'd had more fun in these few six months than his whole life put together. And Sirius, being the straightforward person he was, felt he had every right to say so. 'These filth, Mother, are my friends now,' he said getting up. 'They are different, yes, but their traits are not that to be looked down upon. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have homework to attend to.'

chapter 9

Hogwarts, Second year...

Sirius, James and Peter watched quietly as Remus folded the last of his underwear and stuffed it into his knapsack. Sirius looked from Peter to James, who finally nodded in reply to his silent question. This was becoming somewhat of a ritual. Every month, they'd take turns to ask Remus where he was going, and every month it would be the same lame excuses.

'Going somewhere, Rem?' James asked casually, lying back against the headboard.

Remus didn't look up, and instead, zipped his bag shut. 'Yeah, I'm going back home for a day. My aunt Angus died yesterday. She was very close to my mum,' he said, sounding more weary than depressed. He poured himself a glass of water from the bedside table, running the other hand through his disheveled hair.

Sirius raised his eyebrow. 'So, you're mother's okay then,' he said slowly, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Remus's shoulders tensed visibly and he looked up at Sirius questioningly. 'She's fine, thank you. Why do you ask?' He flung his bag over his shoulder, glass still in hand, and walked towards the door, his hand poised over the handle as he looked at them one last time.

Sirius shrugged. 'She was ill last month, so I assumed she'd be particularly distressed,' He looked into Remus's eyes spitefully. 'After all, aunt Angus was very close.'

The glass shattered to a million tiny shards in Remus's hands and fell soundlessly to the carpeted floor. 'Fuck!' exclaimed Remus, quickly muttering a spell to put the broken pieces together.

Sirius smiled satisfactorily. James and Peter, however, were looking at Remus's hand, horrified. The thick glass had cut through deep, deep enough to leave any normal twelve-year-old boy crying and whimpering in pain. And Remus hadn't even flinched. There was blood dripping, red and steady from his wound onto the carpet, and Remus didn't seem to have noticed at all.

'Rem,' said James slowly. 'Your hand.'

Remus looked at his hand distractedly and his cheeks paled. 'Oh. Oh yeah. It's nothing. I'll just stop by Madam Pomfrey's on the way.' He shifted nervously from one foot to another. 'So, yeah... well...I'll see you guys in a couple of days.' He smiled weakly. 'Goodbye.'

He was out before any of them could say anything further.

Peter frowned. 'He forgot to take his toothbrush.'

James rolled his eyes at Peter and chose to glare at Sirius instead. 'You didn't have to be so nasty to him, you know. He was clearly upset over something.'

'Something being the key word, since this is the third time Aunt Angus died since first year. I hate being lied to,' growled Sirius. 'My parents do it all the time and now Remus is doing the same. I bloody hate it!'

James got up from his bed suddenly and started pacing the floor, occasionally running a hand through his hair. 'He's following a pattern, I know it, but I just can't put my finger on it. He never goes on the same day, but every month...every month, there's like a preplanned tragedy waiting to happen.'

Sirius laughed bitterly. 'Yeah and ironically, judging by the state he comes back in, it seems the tragedy happens to him more than anyone else in his family. How stupid does he think we are? There's nothing to figure out. It's quite clear what a stupid, fucking, hypocrite –'

'Will you just shut up for a moment, Sirius,' snapped James. 'I know you're pissed at him, but you and I both know that Remus isn't the sort to lie. There's obviously something wrong, and he's trying very hard to hide it from us.'

'D-Do you think he's sick?' squeaked Peter. He bit his lip at Sirius and James's questioning glances. 'You know, like a muggle disease or something. There are a few that even magic can't cure, and he's half blood, so he's more vulnerable to them than the two of you.'

James looked at him skeptically 'What kind of disease would require treatment every month?'

Peter ran a nervous hand over his face, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath. 'There's Leukaemia. I heard my mum talk about it once...usually, a blood transfusion a month keeps you healthy...a little on the pale side...but still better than you would be.' He lifted his feet up the bed and smiled faintly. 'Still, there's nothing to worry about, right? I mean, Remus would tell us if things got that bad, right?'

Sirius and James looked at each other.

Later that night, the two of them sneaked into the library to learn more about Peter's explanations to Remus's absence. They didn't sleep for the rest of the night after they came back, sweating and shivering every time they thought of their friend. And all Sirius could think of while he tossed and turned in his bed was, what if Peter's assumption turned out to be right, and what if today had been Remus's last day, and what would he do without his kind, sweet friend, and oh God, he never really bothered to pray or go to church, but please,please, let Remus be okay.

xxx

It took two whole days after that fateful night, for Sirius to finally gather up enough courage to talk to Remus about his monthly disappearances. The knowledge that Peter may as well be right was killing him from the inside, and he found it hard to even look at his friend without having the detailed descriptions of each disease floating in front of his eyes. He could tell that James and Peter were having just as much trouble, but Peter was a coward, and while Sirius found more solace in confronting the situation, James chose to ignore it and pretend that it never happened.

Sirius had convinced Remus to accompany him to a walk to the lake that morning, paying no attention to James's pointed glare and Peter's occasional whimpers. What if Remus admitted to

Peter's assumptions being right? What would they do then? James had even gotten to the point where he'd invited himself to the walk, but McGonagall had chosen that very moment to call them for Chaser tryouts. So James had left, albeit grudgingly, Peter tagging along behind him.

Before he'd left, he'd shot one desperate look towards Sirius. A look that had been caught between a warning and a silent plea for more time.

They'd hardly made it to the lake when Remus, exhausted from all the walking, sat down heavily and kicked off his shoes. He dipped his feet into the lake and sighed in contentment as the cool water ran over his toes and up to his shins. 'Go on, Sirius, the water's plenty cool,' he offered, closing his eyes.

Sirius stared at the water hesitantly. Dip his feet...in there? Why?

'If the Giant Squid decides to attack you, I promise to go down with you, hand in hand,' said

Remus, chuckling quietly.

'That's hardly any consolation.' But Sirius took off his shoes and socks anyway and found that Remus was right, and that the water really was refreshingly cool. Winter was yet to start and judging by the weather, it was going to make it presence known subtly and slowly this year.

They sat like that for a long time, Sirius often watching his friend through the corner of his eyes. Remus had gotten his hair cut this summer. It was still long by normal standards but barely brushed his shoulders now. It was incredibly uneven and badly done, and made Remus look even more roughish than before. Still, concluded Sirius, he looked good, in a weird sort of way.

'Remus?' Sirius said finally, after drawing a nervous breath. Remus opened his eyes slightly and turned towards him. 'Hm?' Best get to the point. 'Are you dying?'

Remus stared at him for a while, blinking. Then, suddenly, he threw his head back and laughed loudly, his voice reverberating in his throat. Sirius waited patiently for an answer, despite feeling himself going red. When Remus had finally stopped, he looked at him with rich amber eyes that shone oddly in the sun, and Sirius couldn't help but stare at them admiringly.

Remus touched his cheek gently. 'Sometimes, Sirius...I wish I were,' he said, looking back towards the water.

Sirius hadn't missed that look in Remus's eyes. It was sincerity. No, Remus wasn't dying, but his answer wasn't any better because Sirius knew that his friend wasn't being sarcastic when he said it. He'd meant every word. Blinding rage washed over Sirius, fogging any sort of rational thinking he possessed and before he knew what he was doing, he'd grabbed hold of Remus's collar and bared his teeth in anger.

'Never,' he snarled through clenched teeth. 'Never say that again, Remus. Never.'

The amber-eyed boy stared at him for a while, as if searching and looking for something in Sirius that he couldn't quite find but knew was there anyway. By then, Sirius himself had stopped panting, but his anger lingered, and he glared back at Remus, making sure he got his message across.

That's when Remus hugged him. It was sudden, and Sirius's immediate reaction was to stiffen, arms locking tightly to his sides. The last he'd been hugged was...well...never. The Blacks never

believed in too much physical contact, except for the essential pleasantries. Even in Hogwarts, he and James had always engaged in a friendly tussle, but never actually embraced. Once he'd actually gotten past the awkwardness, Sirius found he rather liked the feeling of Remus's arms tightly wound around him. It was warmth, and friendship, and something else entirely that he was content with not knowing. So after a while, Sirius returned Remus's embrace, wrapping his arms uncertainly around his friend's thin body and squeezing with equal pressure.

Things would be okay, he thought. As long as Remus held onto him like that, Sirius knew that come what may, he'd always be there for his friend.

xxx

'Sirius!'

Sirius buried his head underneath his pillow. 'Go away, James.' The mattress shook violently. 'Get up, it's important!'

Sirius opened his eyes by a fraction, only to check the clock on his bedside table. He groaned loudly and shut his eyes again. 'James, it's three in the morning. What could possibly be this important that it couldn't wait till the morning?'

'Remus.'

Sirius's eyes shot open, and he sat up quickly. His eyes unconsciously drifted to the sleeping form on the bed opposite to his. 'Is something wrong?' he asked uncertainly. Remus seemed to be fine from this angle.

'I'm not sure, but I have a hunch. I just need you to clear a few things out for me,' said James glancing nervously at Remus as well.

Sirius shifted to the side to make room for James to sit and ran his fingers through his hair. He noticed that James was carrying a massive tome on his hands, his thumb bookmarking one of the pages. Sirius squinted in the dark to read the title: Magical beasts and Their Characteristics. 'You woke me up at three in the morning to study, Potter?'

James bit his lip. 'Sirius, I need you to tell me what we were doing on the night Remus disappeared.'

Sirius frowned. What sort of question was that? 'Which one?'

'Any one,' said James waving his hands exasperatedly. 'The first one you remember.'

The night with the two of them in the library, researching about muggle ailments, flashed before Sirius's eyes. 'The library,' whispered Sirius, shivering against the cold that had swept through him suddenly.

James nodded, eyes darkening. 'We'd both come back and we sat on the window sill for hours.' He watched Sirius nod, and suppressed another shiver. 'Do you remember what kind of night it was?'

Sirius closed his eyes, remembering. 'A little warm...starless I suppose...I remember looking at the full moon and wondering if it was going to be Remus's last.' He shrugged a little towards the end, trying to look casual about it.

'And last month, Sirius. Last month, do you remember Peter saying that muggle children believed the moon was made of cheese? And the month before that, we were assigned a six foot astronomy essay because the moon was full and in clear view. Do you remember that?'

Sirius remembered. In fact, he'd noticed long ago but chosen to disregard the facts. 'What are you getting at, James?' he asked, already knowing the answer but denying it at the same time.

'Don't you get it, Sirius? Remus is a werewolf!' he exclaimed quietly, letting the book he'd been carrying, fall open.

Sirius would have punched James right then, for even thinking of Remus in such a disgusting manner. For accusing him of something so vile and inhumane. Then, his eyes fell on the picture in the book, and he knew he couldn't ignore it any more. Everything fit – Remus's disappearances only on nights of the full moon, his sudden bursts of strength, his cravings for meat just before he took off, his eyes getting darker...Oh God.

Sirius's brain was in disarray, his vision foggy. He couldn't think straight, couldn't bring himself to accept the truth. No, no, no! His traitorous mind kept replaying distorted versions of all the times him and Remus had spent together, only this time, Remus sweet, low laughter sounded harsh and cruel to his ears. His large amber eyes now reduced to dark black slits. His friend was transforming into a bloodthirsty beast right in front of his eyes.

'Full moon's tomorrow. I'm going to tell Pete, and we're going to confront him.' Sirius blinked, unable to comprehend what James was suggesting. 'What?'

'It's time Remus learned to trust us.'

xxx

'Hey, Remus!' chorused James and Peter, as they flopped down on his bed beside him. Sirius on the other hand chose to sit on the chair nearest to the bed.

Remus didn't look up but continued to write at a steady speed. 'Hey guys, what's up?'

'Oh, you know, the usual. Torturing Snivellus and the Slytherins. Nothing new,' said James offhandedly. He rested his chin on Remus's shoulder. 'You?'

Remus tickled James's nose with the end of his quill, making him sneeze. 'Potions homework. Explain how and why killing potions can prove fatal? I'm telling you, Slughorn's finally lost it in his old age.'

James and Peter laughed, while Sirius just smiled weakly. This little fact didn't go unnoticed by Remus, but he chose to ignore it. Sirius was a moody person by nature. No doubt, he was sulking because he'd stubbed his royal toe on some tasteless piece of furniture.

James lay back on the pillow. 'So, Rem, you going home today? '

Remus's stopped writing. 'Er...yeah.' It means nothing. It's just a question. 'How'd you know?' 'Oh, just a hunch.'

See, I told you. No reason to panic at all. Remus scribbled the last few lines of his essay and rolled up the parchments neatly.

James watched distractedly as his friend closed the inkbottle. 'Say, Remus, you do consider us your best friends, right?'

Remus got up from the bed, smiling. Should have known. 'Hm...If you wanted something James, you know all had to do is ask. There's no need to suck up to me.'

Peter looked at James, who looked at Sirius, who was still staring determinedly at his fingernails and biting his lip at a furious rate. James restrained himself from frowning at Sirius's behaviour. Sometimes, he just didn't understand the boy and damn it, he was supposed to be helping out here.

'Actually,' said James, looking back at Remus. 'Last time you left, we were playing this confessions game, and we found out lots of stuff about each other...you know, deep dark secrets kind.' James winked and waved his hands animatedly to stress on his point. 'But you missed it. So...do you have anything to confess, my son,' he said, adopting a serious expression.

Remus stuffed his books back into his bag and blushed as he muttered his reply. 'Er...my parents still like to kiss me goodnight?'

Even Sirius looked up at this and James fought an urge to laugh. Some bloodthirsty beast Remus turned out to be.

'And...' Peter continued, stifling a chuckle.

Remus scratched his head. 'My mum likes to show off my nude baby pictures to strangers in the street. She thinks I used to have a cute bum. Luckily, she a muggle, so they don't move.'

James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. God, Remus was really spoilt. 'And...'

'When I was three, I wanted to see if you could really flush people down the toilet like in cartoons, so I-'

'Remus, stop, okay!' James shot up from the bed, and advanced towards him. 'We know, all right! We know you're a werewolf!'

'Oh.' A whirl of emotions ran through Remus's mind, stripping him of all the defenses he'd built up for so long. 'Oh.' The façade was gone. They knew, and they were playing with him all along. Teasing him, taunting him. 'Oh God!' He collapsed to the floor, trying his hardest to fight back tears. His father had warned him, but he never listened. And now... Remus looked at them, pleadingly. 'Please...please...don't tell anyone. I...' He took a deep breath. He would not cry. They already thought him a monster, he wouldn't give them an impression that he pathetic, as well. 'I've never harmed anybody...but if anyone finds out...I'll...' He bowed his head down, his hair falling over his eyes. 'Dumbledore won't be able to do anything...they'll take me out...and I swear...' He was wheezing now, breath coming out in large shuddering gasps. 'I swear I won't bother you...I'll stay away as far as possible. Just please, please...'

James stared at Remus. This wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting. He'd intended on the surprise, maybe a mumbled apology...but this...this crippled puddle of mess of the floor...the broken look in Remus's large expressive eyes...the hurt...the desperation. Did he really think so little of them?

He looked around at his friends helplessly. Judging by Peter's gaping expression, he hadn't been expecting the sudden outburst either, and Sirius...well, Sirius had taken a sudden interest in a book he'd fished out of his trunk. Obviously, they weren't going to take any action.

In two quick strides, he'd knelt beside Remus and dislodged both hands that were buried deep within honey brown locks. 'Remus...Rem...look at me.' James regretted saying it as soon as his

friend had lifted his head. In one small glance, Remus's eyes had conveyed a fraction of his pain to James, and God. 'We didn't mean it like that. We don't care, okay? We don't care if you're a werewolf, or a hag, or a drag queen.'

Remus chuckled at that, but James could still make out the fear and mistrust.

'We're not playing a cruel joke on you, Remus,' said Peter slowly, as if voicing James's thoughts.

James nodded and pulled Remus into a small embrace. 'You're Remus, you always have been and always will be. We just wanted you to trust us enough to tell us the truth. That's all.'

'That's all?' Remus echoed James's words, eyes wide with disbelief. It's a dream. It has to be. He looked towards Peter. 'So, you're-'

'We don't care, Remus,' replied Peter, cutting him off.

Remus turned to stare at Sirius, who had taken to staring fixedly at the book on his lap. His right hand was clutching at something so tightly that it had begun shaking. Slowly, hesitantly, he looked up at Remus. Their eyes finally met, and Sirius suddenly threw the book down on the floor and ran out of the room, still clutching at something in the ball of his hand. Remus could hear the door to the bathroom shutting loudly, followed by the distinct noises of someone vomiting.

Remus felt his heart drop to his stomach. Sirius was disgusted by him. Sirius...

James stared open mouthed at the place where Sirius had been sitting only a while ago. He turned back towards his longhaired friend who was shivering in his arms. 'Remus...' he said slowly, staring into deep amber pools.

Remus closed his eyes, clutching at James's shoulders. 'It's okay, James. I'm used to it.'

xxx

Sirius rested his head against the toilet seat, breathing heavily. It was out then. Remus was a werewolf. There was no denying it now, no hoping that James had got it all wrong, and Remus would burst out laughing at the very idea.

A werewolf is a beast, transformed or human. The wolf cannot be considered as an alternate personality. It is the man, and the man is it.

Everything Harad had thought him. Everything he'd read. They were coming back to him, washing over him, drowning him.

They are known for their ruthless and uncivilised behaviour. They feel no human compassion, no pain, no mercy, no fear, only bloodlust. In short, they are inhumane.

'Oh, God.' Sirius muttered, before spewing out the rest of his breakfast into the toilet bowl.

Murderers from the day they are bitten, victims are preferably given euthanasia, as per Ministry rule 749.

Sirius unclenched his hand and a piece of paper fell out. It was newspaper cutting: the one that had finally made Sirius snap. He'd forgotten about the picture, until now...the little boy...he'd been Remus. Sirius knew it, even though the face was still hidden deep inside the sheets, he could tell. He remembered watching with sick fascination as the boy in the picture just lay there; he even

remembered tracing the angry red scar on his shoulder, wondering if he'd ever meet this boy. He'd tempted fate from the very start.

A werewolf seeks humans in preference to any other kind of prey.

'How am I to trust you, Remus, when everything you are is against everything I believe?'

xxx

Sirius avoided Remus for the rest of the day like a disease. Whatever direction Remus would go, Sirius would go the opposite. He sat away from all of them during classes, skipped lunch entirely, and only breathed a sigh of relief after dinner, when Remus had presumably left for 'home'.

The next morning, he'd been walking back to the Great Hall with every intention to make up for his missed dinner, when out of nowhere, James had grabbed the front of his robes and smashed him to the wall.

'What's your problem?' snarled James into his face.

Sirius pushed James away roughly and straightened his robes. 'I don't know what you mean.'

James glared at him. 'You know, Sirius, I love you like a brother, but if you keep on hurting Remus the way you are right now, I swear on all that is sacred, I will never, ever, forgive you."

Remus...At that point, Sirius's knees almost gave away again, but he kept himself steady. 'For that matter, I was meaning to ask what your problem is, James? Remus is a werewolf. Have your parents never taught you the significance of that word? Do you know what he's capable of?' he finished, hoping his friend would give him an answer to all the questions hidden underneath his façade. He was distraught, and confused, and...

Sirius felt James grab his hand by the wrist. 'What the hell are you doing?' He stumbled, as his friend continued pulling him along empty corridors and winding staircases, not once letting go of his hand.

They finally stopped at the doors of the infirmary, and James pulled him to the small peek window so fast that Sirius bumped his nose against the glass. 'There,' he said viciously. 'He's in the bed beside the window; the curtains are open because he likes the sun to come in after spending so long in the dark. Do you see him?'

Sirius did see him, with Madame Pomfrey at his side, no less. He was probably unconscious or had his eyes closed at least, while the matron healed and nursed his wounds. They weren't any ordinary wounds either – deep and fiery red - just the sight of it could make one cringe.

'James,' said Sirius slowly, turning to his friend.

James leaned against the doors and sighed heavily. 'You know, they always tell us how dangerous and beastly werewolves are to us wizards but none of them, not one book has ever mentioned what a danger they are to themselves. Remus does that to himself, you know, every single month. He infuriates the wolf by locking himself up so that he won't harm anyone else. So he gets punished instead.' He looked at Sirius pleadingly. 'Tell me, Sirius, after all that Remus has done for you, after knowing about all this, can you really hate him?'

Sirius stared at James, taking in whatever he'd said. In those few words, his friend had erased all his doubts, classified everything he'd been taught since childhood a lie, and given him a new outlook to the world. No, he didn't have the heart to hate Remus Lupin. He never did.

xxx

That night, he skipped dinner to see Remus. He was still in the infirmary, and Sirius found him sitting precariously close to the edge of the windowsill, eyes closed, as if enjoying the gentle breeze playing with his hair.

'Hey, Sirius,' he said softly, without turning.

'Hey.' Sirius sat beside him carefully. Every bone in his body was screaming to move away, not because he was scared of Remus but because they were ridiculously high up. And even though, Sirius wasn't exactly scared of heights, he was damn terrified of dying. 'How did you know it was me?'

Remus opened his eyes and smiled. 'I sensed you.'

Sirius shivered in the cold, and Remus reached out to the bed and pulled a blanket over him. Sirius looked at his friend gratefully. 'Listen, I wanted to say sorry.' He hung his head low as he pulled the blanket closer to his body. 'For my behaviour...I shouldn't have-'

'I don't blame you, Sirius. You reacted just like anyone else would,' Remus's voice cracked a little. 'It's nothing I haven't seen before.'

Sirius bit his lip. He hated it when Remus berated himself, but he'd seen the haunted look in his friend's eyes, and he knew that Remus's low self-esteem was not a creation of his own.

'I thought you hated me,' said Remus, shifting his gaze back to the stars.

'Never!' exclaimed Sirius so suddenly that Remus jumped. 'I-' He bit his lip again. 'Remus?'

Amber eyes looked at him curiously, as their owner shifted himself a little farther from the edge. Another outburst like that and Sirius would send him tumbling down. 'Hm?'

'Can I...you know...hug you?' mumbled Sirius, blushing. What was wrong with him? A hug? Why? Why would he want a hug? Why was he being so stupid? And how was it that every time he was with Remus, he found himself going all soft and...ugh!

Remus laughed, and immediately pulled Sirius into a warm embrace, letting the blanket fall in between them. He ran nimble fingers through soft black hair, as he felt his friend dig in deeper. 'You didn't have to ask, Sirius.'