When the Marauders and Lily had filed missing reports, none of them had ever fathomed that it would take this long to find Remus. In fact, all of them were more than confident that Remus would be found by one party or another. They'd contacted everyone they knew of course and both the Muggles and the Ministry (though Sirius doubted it severely) were still looking for him. Unfortunately, options were running out and so were the paces they could look for the werewolf. Chances of Remus being found slowly slipped away as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into well over two months. Most people had already lost faith over Remus ever being found at all.

They should have expected it really. Even through trauma and depression, Remus was smart and calculative. He would have carefully planned out everything so as not to ever be found. While this trait of Remus had helped them pull pranks in their school years, it was something James had taken to despising now. He missed Remus terribly and worried about him all the time. Lily often burst into tears when they talked about him at all, and Peter would always try to deviate from the topic if he ever came up. Mrs. Lupin and Aunt Nash were still in the dark about Remus's disappearance. They'd been constantly lying to them about Remus being away on Order missions. Mrs. Lupin was particularly hard to fool because she was used to Remus coming over to visit her every other week and suspected that something was wrong. She didn't approve of all these Order missions either, not after what happened to Mr. Lupin, but it was better than telling her that they'd lost her son to some unknown place.

Unsurprisingly, the person who took Remus's departure the hardest was Sirius. James, Lily and Peter were starting to worry about him too. After the first month, Sirius had completely lost faith on the Ministry and Muggle police and had taken it upon himself to find Remus. His apartment was now littered with newspaper cuttings, documents he'd filched or copied illegally from the Ministry, werewolf codes and regulations, and God knew what else. Sirius would come back home from work and spend late nights on them; reading, highlighting, trying to get some sort of clue where Remus might have gotten to. It had become somewhat of an obsession for him. As the days wore on, Sirius looked more and more like a corpse; with the dark rings around his eyes from the lack of sleep and a sallow, pale look on his face from the lack of proper food. If it hadn't been for Lily and sometimes, even Peter popping in with a bit of dinner now and then, James doubted Sirius would eat anything at all.

James pushed open the door to Sirius's apartment, sighing when he found Sirius asleep with his head resting on the kitchen table. James debated waking him up. Sirius looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep for a good century. In the end, reason won over sympathy, and he shook his friend's shoulder gently.

'Padfoot? Come on, mate, wake up. Lily packed you some lunch...'

Sirius jerked awake the second time James shoved him at the shoulders and blinked up at him owlishly. 'Oh, hey, Prongs! How are you this fine day?'

James moved away the papers and dirty clothing from one of the chairs and sat down. 'I'm fine, but you look worse for wear. When's the last time you got any sleep, Padfoot?'

Sirius waved away the comment, yawning widely. 'I've just been a bit busy, is all. Moody's been really piling in on us. What did Lily send me?'

James unpacked the large box of mash potatoes and chicken Lily had made especially for Sirius. Sirius grinned as he opened the box and reached out towards the counter for two clean forks.

'Sorry about the mess. I've just been so busy; I never get time to clean up anymore. There are still a couple of papers I have to go through. I think there's one place in Sheffield, I think, well, these

muggles had a couple of werewolf sightings. Need to check that out...' James swallowed a bit of chicken. 'Find anything worthwhile?'

Sirius faltered for a bit, but his smile was back just as quickly. 'Not yet, but one of these days, I'll nail that bastard.'

'Mm-hm. Sirius, it's been a really long time since...since Remus disappeared. You've been working your arse off on this, and no-' James interrupted before Sirius could say anything. 'I don't mean this as a bad way, but this is really consuming your life, Padfoot. I mean, you look like you're about to topple over any moment! Maybe you should-'

'Maybe I shouldn't.' Sirius replied, putting his fork down firmly. 'Fuck, he's out there somewhere, Prongs, I know it! I just...'

James sighed, resting his head in his hands. 'Sirius, have you ever considered that maybe Remus is- '

Sirius stood up so quick, he knocked his chair over. 'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!' he cried, his hands over his ears as if trying to block non-existent accusations. 'How dare you, James? How dare you even suggest something like that? How can you just give up like-'

'I haven't given up anything!' James exclaimed, standing up as well. 'Look, listen to me!' He pulled down Sirius's hands from his ears. 'Listen, I didn't want to tell you this, but me and Pete...we did some research a couple of weeks back. I talked to McKinnon - she works at Gringotts, and she told me that Moony stopped by the night he went and withdrew a bit of gold from his account. He closed it down and then transferred the rest into Mr. Lupin's savings account, leaving everything to his mother. He even went to Ollivanders after that and bought a new wand.'

'That doesn't mean anything...' Sirius said, sitting back down on his seat. 'That doesn't mean anything...'

'The wards are up again at Lupin cottage. That's why neither of us could apparate there that day. I checked them out, and they're darn strong to give us headaches like that.

'So, anyone could have-'

James grabbed Sirius by both shoulders and shook him harder than he'd intended to. 'Listen to me, Padfoot, Remus wasn't supposed to do magic, we both know that. Deny it all you like, but you know he wouldn't buy a wand unless he needed it. It's all too much coincidence. No one knows the exact wards to the Lupin cottage except Remus and Mr. Lupin, and it requires a good bit of magic to set up.'

'He won't-'

'And we've both seen what happens when a wizard is drained of his magic...'

Sirius stayed silent for a while, his head dropping to his chest. James hadn't let go off his shoulders yet, and he could feel Sirius's body shudder underneath his palms with every breath he took. 'It's not true,' Sirius said quietly. 'Moony wouldn't do something to get himself killed like that, Prongs. He promised me on my life. He promised me.'

'Sirius...'

'HE FUCKING PROMISED!' Sirius screamed out so loud and sudden, that James let go of him in

surprise.

Sirius looked like he was going to burst into tears, and James hastened to make things better. He hated to see his best friend cry. Nothing could make him feel more helpless than Sirius's tears. 'No, look, Padfoot, maybe I'm wrong, okay. You know me, I'm always over assuming things. Moony is alive, of course he is. He loves you a lot. It's just-' He pulled his chair closer to face Sirius's and sat back down. 'I'm just saying that maybe you should get some rest yourself too, okay? You need to stop stressing yourself so much if you want to be alive for when he finally decides to come back, alright?'

Sirius nodded, albeit reluctantly. 'Yeah, okay.'

'Because if you don't Lily says she's going to move in here and terrorise your apartment.'

Sirius chuckled, sniffing and wiping his nose on his sleeve. 'That woman's a real piece of work. She's got you whipped, you know that? You might as well just ask her to marry you.'

James fumbled with the chicken that had remained forgotten for so long. It had gotten a bit cold but was still edible. 'I did.'

'Eh?'

'I asked Lily to marry me.'

Sirius's jaw dropped open 'You're joking!' When James shook his head, Sirius broke into a wide and genuine grin. 'When were you planning to tell me, you bastard?'

James shrugged, his own face breaking into a smile at the thought of Lily. 'I just asked her a couple of days ago. No big deal. You're the best man, by the way.'

'Psh. Was there really any doubt about that?' Sirius forked a mouthful of peas and potatoes happily. 'You do realise that you're only nineteen, right?'

James nodded. 'I know, but...but I've seen you, Padfoot. It's just...you're miserable without Moony...and you don't even love him.' He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, his stomach sinking all over again as he watched Sirius's expression fall. 'I just kept thinking, what if I lost Lily, Padfoot? I mean...I don't think I could...I...you know...'

Sirius looked at an old tea stain on the table. 'Yeah, I know...'

'I'm sorry. I'm just making things worse for you. I never should have brought it up.'

'No!' Sirius looked up with a fake cheery expression plastered on his face. 'No, this is great! I mean, I'm really happy for you, Prongs. This is one of the best things that have happened to me in a very long time. When's the big day?'

'August...'

'My God, that's just half a month away!' Sirius rubbed his hands together. 'So many things to plan – a bachelor's party, my bloody fantastic speech, my luscious locks...'

James laughed, punching his best friend on the shoulder. 'Thanks, mate. This means a lot to me.'

Sirius brushed off the sentiments with a careless wave of his hands. 'Ah-don't sweat it. It's my pleasure.'

James noticed that in the following few hours of his stay, Sirius hardly touched his food.

'...and I'm afraid this last one is yours, Shacklebolt. Your partner's Arthur Weasley. Simple procedure. All you have to do is...

Sirius was watching Mind Your Language on television when Remus finally came home, looking downtrodden and depressed. He pretended not to notice the brunette as he slowly hung his coat on one of the door hooks, fixing his eyes firmly on the television. Sirius said nothing as Remus heaved an exhausted sigh and sat on the couch beside him, pulling up his legs and resting his head on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius knowingly wrapped an arm around Remus and pulled him closer. This was what happened every time Remus was upset; he sought physical contact and comforting touches. Sirius had been to the Lupin household enough times to know that this habit was entirely Mrs. Lupin's fault, who insisted on hugs and kisses being therapeutic. Sirius had a hankering that it was just another one of her excuses to spoil Remus.

'Another rejection?' Sirius asked quietly, running his fingers through Remus's soft brown hair. It had gotten incredibly long, but Remus refused to have it cut.

Remus buried his face into Sirius's neck, making an odd noise in the back of his throat. 'Four more to add to the list. I must be aiming for a record. Don't know why I bother really. They don't even bother reading my resume.'

'Ah, they don't know what they're missing.'

'Nothing much,' Remus replied bitterly. 'Maybe I should apply for the zoo instead. They might have an empty cage to put me in. Nice roomy accommodation, free food, someone to bathe you, lots of visitors; what more could one ask for, eh?'

'Oh hush,' Sirius admonished. 'It's their loss and you know it. You're intelligent, funny, and hardworking. Hell, I'd give you a job any day. '

Remus pouted. 'Yeah? What kind of job? Cleaning the kitchens? Because let me tell you, I'm not doing it.'

'Hm, I was thinking more in the lines of a blow job,' replied Sirius, grinning and waggling his eyebrows.

Remus burst out laughing.

Sirius smiled proudly, feeling very accomplished for having lifted Remus's spirits. He pulled his friend into a brief but heartfelt kiss. 'But before that...how about we go for a walk, eh? Clear up the mood a bit; it's a lovely day...'

Remus nodded, still smiling. 'Sure. And as a little treat, we can take Padfoot into that fountain he likes so much; the one with that barmy angel and frogs on the side.'

Sirius's eyes lit up with enthusiasm and disbelief. 'Really?' he asked. He must have really done a good job cheering Remus up. 'And Padfoot gets to splash around and drag you in as well?'

Remus smirked, that mischievous twinkle Sirius loved so much, back in his eyes. 'We'll think about it.'

Sirius broke into a delirious grin, jumping out of the sofa and pulling Remus by the wrist. 'Come on then...before it gets dark.'

Remus laughed, allowing himself to be dragged by Sirius and his manic energy. 'Okay, okay...don't forget to put your coat on. You'll need it when you catch a cold from all that splashing.'

'Yeah, yeah. Come on!'

Remus smiled as he put on his own coat and scarf. He was looking at Sirius in a way that sent

pleasant tingles down his spine and made him want to ravish the werewolf on the spot. 'Padfoot?'

Sirius, who was trying his best to find the right key to unlock the door, didn't bother looking up. 'Hm?'

'I-Nothing...'

How many times had Remus tried to tell him? How many times had Remus picked up the courage and then lost it on the way? How many times had Sirius completely misunderstood or completely ignored that adoring way Remus looked at him, or held him after they'd had sex, or even just cared for him when he'd needed it the most. Now he was gone, and Sirius felt like his entire existence had been trampled over and crushed inside. God, he missed his friend. He missed everything about Remus – the way he walked, the way he talked, even the annoying bits like how he'd always eat curry with his hands.

'You ready, Sirius?'

Sirius startled out of his musings and looked up to see Dorcas Meadows standing in front him, a hand on her hip and the other brushing back long strands of dirty blonde hair. 'Eh?'

Meadows rolled her eyes. 'We're supposed to go to Sorcha, remember? Have you been listening to anything Dumbledore's been saying for the past few hours?'

Sirius felt himself blush slightly. 'I'm sorry. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately.'

Meadows grinned and winked flirtatiously. 'Moody driving you guys crazy, eh? I don't blame you. I quit after the first year; decided being a Curse Breaker's a lot easier.'

'Ahan.' Sirius smiled obligingly. 'Why don't you brief me up on our mission then, Meadows?'

'Call me Dorcas,' she replied, putting a hand on his shoulder which Sirius shrugged off. 'Well, there's this little magical community in Ireland; Sorcha as I mentioned earlier. Dumbledore says it has been a little too active lately. Apparently, the Ministry is suddenly getting dozens of letters asking permission to magically protect their houses, restaurants and what not. Couple of them have even volunteered to join the DMLE, fancy that.'

'So? Nothing unusual about it. Voldemort's at large; the people have a right to protect themselves. Even I've registered for protection wards; big deal.'

Meadows sat down beside him, looking exasperated by his ignorance. 'You're a fool for someone so smart. It's a community, not a town or city. They weren't exactly oblivious to You Know Who's attacks. Now, all of a sudden, they're concerned by him? Dumbledore suspects You Know Who might be recruiting members there, or even directing himself to many of the muggle communities' close-by. We need to check things out before it gets out of hand; bring as many people on our side as we can.'

'I still think it's gobshit,' replied Sirius, shifting his chair a little when Meadows came too close for comfort. 'The people are going through a phase. It's like a pair of new jeans. When they come out, everyone wants one; the shops are a rage, people go crazy. I don't see us checking out H 's for potential Death Eaters.'

Meadows shrugged, smiling slightly. 'Doesn't harm us to check it out. I heard it's a beautiful place, lots of scenery and strong liquor. Could be like a holiday, and you look like you could use one.'

Sirius wasn't so sure about it, but hadn't James told him not to overstress himself? This was an Order mission after all, and Moody wasn't going to pummel him for it. In fact, it would be considered training for his auror badge, so what was the problem? He could use a little holiday, away from Moody and his overbearing techniques of self defense. Only thing was, Sirius doubted he was going to have much fun without his best friends, especially Remus. 'Yeah, sure, I'll get packing tonight. Not like I can say no to an Order mission.'

xxx

Sirius clutched his hair tightly to ward off the pain that had settled permanently in the back of his head. He felt horribly tired and weak; just walking across the road right now felt like a task. He tried to sleep it away, but things had just gotten worse after he'd woken up. He felt even more unrested than when he'd started out, and he supposed he owed it to the fact that he hadn't had much to eat or drink for the past two days. Dorcas Meadows was only making matters worse.

When he'd taken on this project, Sirius hadn't thought Meadows was going to be such a pain in the neck. Unfortunately for him, she turned out to be the most irritating woman on the planet and made Sirius's blood boil almost as much as his mother used to back when he still lived in Grimmauld Place. She talked constantly, her mouth moving at the speed of sound; and none of what she said was of any relevance. It wasn't that she wasn't intelligent, but Merlin knew that after a while one must run out of topics. Sirius tuned out most of what she said anyway; he'd had plenty of practice from his childhood, so that wasn't too much of a problem.

What really ticked Sirius off was how much she insisted on touching him. She'd touch him on the shoulder, squeeze his knee when she was particularly excited, try to hold his hand when she wanted to go some place Sirius didn't, try to hug him goodnight; it was a right annoyance. Sirius had never liked being touched too much; it was a sacred Black rule. A rule Remus had broken sometime in their second year, followed only by James, Peter, and Lily. They were the only ones allowed to get that close to him, not Meadows.

Three days with Dorcas Meadows was enough to make Sirius want to jump off a cliff, or at least tear his hair out in frustration. So by noon, he'd finally had it. He ditched her with an excuse of needing some alone time (which wasn't far from the truth), and walked all the way to the muggle side of town just in case Meadows decided to look for him.

Now, he was exhausted beyond cognition and thirsty as hell. Which was why, it should have been of no surprise that he'd ended up in a small and crowded muggle restaurant (if you could call it that), sitting on a chair that felt ready to collapse under his weight. The service was terrible, there were too many people and way too much noise, which really didn't help the headache; but Sirius felt that if he didn't get something to drink soon, he'd pass out for sure.

The oversized bell at the door clanged noisily every time someone came in. Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust when he heard someone belch loudly and pass a crude comment to one of the waitresses in his thick Irish accent. The 'No Smoking' signs remained ignored on the walls beside every booth, and Sirius's eyes watered from the strong smell of nicotine and carbon monoxide.

Sirius wasn't that sensitive to cigarette smoke; all the Marauders indulged in an occasional fag once in a while, Remus more than the rest of them. However, Remus made sure to clean out the smoke after he was done, and he always freshened up his clothes and breath so that they didn't smell too bad. Sirius supposed it was a habit borne from years of trying to hide his smoking habit from Mrs. Lupin, but he was never as grateful of it as he was now.

He just wanted to get out of here. Get out and into a more civilised environment, where something called fresh air existed. Sirius wished the waitress would quit flirting with that fat arse and just get him his drink.

The bell rang again, and Sirius gritted his teeth in annoyance. How many people came to this stupid place anyway? He looked across the tables to see if any of the waitresses were available to scream at and froze instantly when he saw who had just come in through the door.

'Remus?'

It was impossible. His dehydrated mind was playing tricks on him; but no. No, Remus was there. Sirius could tell by the way Remus's eyes inspected him and the way the cigarette dangled at the edge of his mouth, almost ready to fall, that Remus had sensed Sirius there long before he'd come in. Remus must have dismissed it though, because what would Sirius be doing in Ireland after all? That too in a small town like this?

Sirius got up slowly, taking care not to break eye contact with Remus, just in case this really did turn out to be a hallucination. His heart was beating holes through his rib cage, his stomach twisting in knots, and his brain threatening to explode from the onslaught of information. Remus hadn't changed much at all. He was thinner perhaps, but just as breathtakingly beautiful as Sirius remembered him. Oh, how beautiful he was. Sirius had never noticed it as much before, had never noticed how those dimples on either side of Remus's cheek hollowed slightly even when Remus wasn't smiling. Or how incredibly long and agile his fingers were. He was...

Sirius's chair scraping against the hard wood floor seemed to have broken Remus out of a trance. Sirius had only managed to get up when Remus pushed past one of the customers and ran out of the door in a hurry.

'No! Remus!'

All the people in the restaurant turned to look at him, but Sirius couldn't care less. He ran. He ran, forcefully pushing anyone who tried to come in his way. He ran, fighting his exhaustion and using the adrenaline rush in his body to his advantage. This was the first time he'd seen Remus in over two months. The first time, and Sirius wasn't going to let him go. He was never going to let him go again. Sirius needed Remus. Sirius needed him!

'Remus! Wait!'

Sirius could see the werewolf just ahead of him, dodging the people on the sidewalk, muttering apologies as he did. He was running so fast that to Sirius, he looked mostly like a colourful blur. Or perhaps, it was because Sirius's head was spinning or maybe because he was running just as fast as Remus was.

'Remus! Moony! Please!'

People were watching them with their mouths agape, and Sirius knew that he looked like an utter fool running and screaming behind Remus like this. He wished he could use magic, put Remus in a full body bind or stun him to oblivion, but it was a muggle area. Using magic would only bring him

more trouble that he needed at the moment.

'Remus, will you just fucking stop!'

Remus was running across one of the streets, and Sirius hurried to catch up with him. He was slowing down, and he knew it. His muscles protested painfully against the force he was trying to put into them, but he needed Remus. His head pounded relentlessly, his headache pummeling on with full force. He wished he had drunk some water earlier, he wished he'd gotten some rest, anything to keep him from getting this far behind Remus.

'Remus!'

Desperation was sinking in now. He knew he was falling back. Remus was getting too far ahead of him to catch up, but he ran anyway. He could hardly see Remus now and the fact that his vision kept blurring and darkening didn't help matters. Sirius blinked rapidly to clear away the dark spots; trying and failing to focus on the figure ahead of him.

The traffic signal turned green halfway through Sirius's dash across the street and he heard cars screeching to a stop beside him as he ran. Horns honked loudly, people screamed atrocities, but Sirius could barely hear them. He could barely hear anything at all. His ears seemed to have blocked out all kinds of sound or maybe it was because his brain felt too muddled up to understand any of it. The world was starting to darken around him, and Sirius cried out in surprise when he found that his eyes were wide open. He was losing sight of Remus! Oh God, no, he was losing Remus again!

Sirius's knees finally gave away in defeat halfway through his run, and he felt himself falling almost involuntarily towards the ground. As his back hit the pavement, even through his darkening vision, he saw enormous yellow flashlights and heard a car honking loud enough to make his head burst. His final thoughts before the world closed around him was how he'd failed to get Remus back again...

'SIRIUS!'

chapter

Ackerman Villa, Ireland...

Remus sighed, closing the front door and lighting a cigarette with his left hand. His right arm hung limply on the side, and Remus had a suspicious feeling that he'd either dislocated or broken it. He had apparated a second too late out of the streets and gotten hit on the arm by the approaching car. It hadn't been painful then; mostly because he'd been too preoccupied with Sirius's safety. Even now, it was starting to grow numb; all he had to do was avoid moving it, and he'd be fine until he got the time to heal it. The Ministry officials, on the other hand, had been completely indifferent to his injury, badgering him with questions and complaints. They hadn't even let him heal it in fear of destroying valuable evidence.

That had been close call though; the way the officials had been going, he was almost sure he'd have to pay an inordinate fine for apparition. What a sum it would have been too; he had apparated twice in the same muggle area. He was lucky that the Black name was so renown, and that he got off free for saving one. Even the cost of casting all those memory charms had been dissolved after one look at Sirius's unconscious face.

God, what had Sirius been thinking?

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed where Sirius now lay unconscious, smoothing out the sheets beside him unnecessarily. God, how long had it been since he'd seen Sirius? Months? Years? Centuries? He truly looked worse for the wear; his face that had once been full and beautiful was now hollowed at the cheeks and unshaven. The veins on his arms encircling his wrist jutted out in a sickly, vomit green colour. He looked almost as thin and underfed as Remus, perhaps even more so. There were dark bags under his eyes and his hair looked oily and unwashed. Even his clothes (which Sirius always took pride in) looked as if they hadn't been cleaned for days and smelled faintly of sweat and wet dog. Remus closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. He needed to send a letter to James and Lily to take better care of Sirius.

'Moony?'

His name was followed by a hacking cough, and Remus quickly stubbed his cigarette against the bed post, leaving a black mark on the wood. 'Sorry, I got carried away. So, so sorry.'

Sirius coughed again, peeling off the wet cloth that Remus had placed on his forehead earlier. 'Rem-' He cleared his throat. 'This isn't a dream right? You're here.' He rubbed at his chest, swallowing thickly and looking at Remus with bright eyes. 'You're really here?'

Remus reached for the glass of water he always kept on the bedside table, taking care not to move

his right arm too much. 'I'm here, Padfoot. Here, drink some water.'

'I found you!'

Remus cried out in blinding pain as Sirius launched himself into a violent hug. The water sloshed in the glass, spilling on the carpet; and Sirius moved away, looking surprised and horrified at the same time. 'What happened to your arm?'

Remus gritted his teeth. 'Nothing.' It was a very unconvincing lie, given that he was cradling his right arm to bring down the pain.

'Show me,' Sirius insisted, reaching out.

Remus moved away quickly. 'I told you, it's nothing. Just drink some water, alright. You're dehydrated and delirious.'

'Show me!' Sirius pulled at his arm forcefully, and Remus bit in to his tounge to keep from crying out. Sirius kept a strong hold however, pushing the sleeve of Remus's robes up to his shoulder. 'Fuck, Moony.' Sirius touched the enormous purple bruise on Remus's upper arm with his index finger. 'What happened?'

'It's nothing,' choked out Remus, feeling tears spring out in the corner of his eyes. 'I'll heal it.' He pulled out his wand from his pocket, but Sirius snatched it away from him even before he could say the spell.

Remus didn't even get to protest; Sirius healed it with a quick flick and put the wand on the bedside table beside a plate of half eaten casserole that Remus had had earlier for lunch. A warm sensation spread through Remus's veins, and the werewolf let a sigh of relief as the pain slowly vanished. Sirius, however, didn't let go of Remus's arm, instead choosing to massage the bruised area lightly; pressing his thumb where it still felt sore. Remus barely suppressed a shiver. He ought to move away, he knew, but couldn't. Couldn't even bring himself to look away from concerned grey eyes.

'I missed you.'

Remus nodded, his throat clenching too painfully for him to talk. He slowly extracted his arm from Sirius's and reached out for the plate of half eaten chicken casserole. 'Eat, you need it.'

Sirius looked at Remus with a hurt expression. Remus knew only too well that Sirius was expecting him to say the same thing. Maybe make loud declarations of love and how horrible it had been without him. It had been horrible without Sirius, but Remus would not admit that. Indifference was important. It was important to protect Sirius from Remus. It was important because Sirius was going home alone. Above all, it was important to protect Remus's sanity.

He refilled the glass and handed it over to Sirius, smiling when the Animagus drank obligingly. 'You need to take better care of yourself, Sirius,' Remus said quietly, placing the fork on Sirius's plate. The casserole had grown horribly cold, but Remus hoped it was still edible. He'd initially made plans to finish it for dinner, even wash it down with a beer or two from the bar near by, but then Sirius had happened.

Sirius glared at him but shoved a large forkful of food in his mouth anyway. 'Why are you doing this, Moony? You disappear for two months! Two whole months! And now you're acting like you don't even know me!'

Remus didn't know why but suddenly, he felt very angry at Sirius. Remus had sacrificed everything for Sirius. He had gone to unspeakable lengths to protect his friend, but what had Sirius done? Ran

like an idiot to search for him, almost gotten himself killed, and fucked up everything that Remus had worked for, for two months! Ordinarily, Remus was the kind of person who never got angry, but he was today. He was now. 'What am I supposed to say, Sirius? Welcome to my house? Did you have a good time running head first into a car like that? Did it give you the fucking thrill of a lifetime?'

Sirius looked momentarily stunned by Remus's outburst. 'I-What?' Then his eyes widened as some sort of revelation struck him. 'You saved me,' he said slowly, 'I was going to be hit by a car. I remember now...I remember seeing it.'

Remus threw his hands up in exasperation. 'Fuck, Padfoot, what is wrong with you! For once in your life, can you just bloody think? If I hadn't been there; if I'd been a second too late to see you, you could have died! Died, Sirius!' Remus found his voice breaking at the very thought of Sirius's mangled body on the road. 'What the fuck were you doing?'

'You were getting away,' Sirius replied calmly, like his life being on hold wasn't such a big deal at all. 'You were running away from me again. I needed to get to you.'

It was ironic really, how for once; it was Remus who was throwing out his anger, and Sirius who was keeping calm. 'Damn it, the whole idea of running away, Sirius, is that I don't want you there!'

'I love you.'

'What?' He'd heard wrong. Remus knew he'd heard wrong. His anger had clouded his mind and now he was hearing things that were not actually being said at all. Sirius did not tell him he loved him, because Sirius didn't love Remus. Remus was sure of that.

'I know I said I didn't that night,' Sirius continued, meeting Remus's thunderstruck eyes. He reached out for Remus's hands and slowly entwined their fingers together. 'But I didn't know how stupid I was being back then. I mean, 'course I do. I always have, Remus, and I just didn't-'

Remus didn't know what came over him then, but he lost control. He lost the indifferent façade he'd been keeping up for so long; and before he could gain it back, he was pulling Sirius into a bone crushing embrace, kissing Sirius's hair, cheeks, eyes, ears; running his hands down Sirius's back. He'd never thought he'd hear it; never thought Sirius would feel the same way. 'Say it again,' Remus whispered when Sirius held him just as tightly.

'I love you, Moony; so much. These past few months have been hell. I thought I was going to die, Moony. I can't-'

'Shut up,' whispered Remus, breathing into Sirius's hair and clutching at Sirius's shirt like a lifeline. 'You're ruining the moment.'

Sirius chuckled but otherwise kept quiet. They held each other that way for what seemed like an eternity to Remus but were merely seconds. It felt good to have Sirius in his arms again. Felt good, despite the staleness of Sirius's breath and the horrible stench of his clothes. Felt good because his heart had been aching to hold Sirius for months, and had hurt every time Remus had pushed it down.

Remus only opened his eyes when he felt slight wetness against his neck and heard Sirius sniffle. 'Padfoot?'

'I thought you had died,' Sirius said, his deep voice cracking like a thirteen year old boy. 'I thought you'd done something hideously stupid and died.'

Remus held Sirius at an arms length, looking into his teary grey eyes. 'I made a promise.'

Sirius swiped at his eyes roughly, and Remus knew that he was ashamed to be seen crying like this. 'James told me not to get my hopes up. He said you'd bought a wand and put up those security spells up at the cottage again. He said that was very strong magic for someone who's-'

Remus shook his head. 'I didn't leave until I was sure I could do magic, Sirius. I'd been planning it for nearly a week, but I didn't go until I was sure...'

'But the Healer said-'

'He estimated the recovery time for a normal wizard, not a werewolf.'

Sirius nodded, wiping his eyes again though they were dry. He let Remus's hands fall from his shoulders and leaned back against the pillows, as he picked up the plate of casserole that he'd shoved aside some time. 'Where are we?'

'My room,' replied Remus, unsurprised at the speed Sirius seemed to be devouring his food. He looked like he hadn't eaten for a good few weeks. 'I live in Mrs. Ackerman's house. She's really old, so I help her out a bit in exchange for two home-cooked meals and a roof over my head.'

Sirius sniffed again, looking down at his food. 'You seem well.' He sounded horribly disappointed.

Remus didn't bother to mention the weeks he'd spent wandering in the streets, or the sleepless nights he still had when he thought about his friends. He didn't want Sirius to know how he always kept a picture of him in his coat pocket, or how he sometimes gave away his lunch to any stray dogs he saw on the street, or how sometimes he'd watch those horrible soaps with Mrs. Ackerman just because it reminded him of Sirius.

'What are you doing here, Padfoot?' Remus asked, trying to change the subject.

Sirius shrugged. 'Order mission...rise in protection spells and we had to-' His eyes widened comically. 'Oh my God, it was you!'

Remus frowned in puzzlement. 'Me?'

'You! You've been putting up protection wards in Sorcha, haven't you?' Remus's shocked expression outdid Sirius's. 'How did you-?'

'Dumbledore was worried Voldemort might have shifted here since there's such a high population of muggles! That's why we were sent here. But it's been you all along.' Sirius laughed maniacally. 'It's been you all along, and I completely overlooked it. I should have known!'

Remus felt a little insulted at Sirius's tone. 'These people had no clue, you know. They thought Voldemort was some kind of hoax or a petty criminal. I just thought...I thought I'd do my part... and earn a good bit while I was at it.'

Sirius laughed. 'God, I can't believe I didn't see it. I must have been royally fucked. Protection spells are your specialty. I should have guessed it the minute Dumbledore mentioned it.'

'I guess.' Remus shifted uncomfortably. 'They were really ignorant, Padfoot. They couldn't even figure out I was a werewolf, not even after they saw my registry code by accident. Can you believe that?'

'From what I saw, yes I can.' Sirius put his empty plate back on the bedside table. 'Where have you been spending full moons?'

Remus shrugged, drawing invisible finger patterns on the sheets. 'There's an abandoned warehouse not far from here. I made sure no one can enter while I transform.'

'Did it hurt?'

It did. Remus remembered how he'd woken up the first full moon, unable to move without subjecting himself to blinding pain. The wolf had been frustrated at the lack of company, at the lack of prey, and the change of environment. The wolf had hated it here, and he had made sure to let Remus know exactly how it felt. 'I was fine.'

There was silence for a while as Sirius finished his water. Perhaps it was just Remus, but he looked healthier now that he'd actually eaten something. For a while, he watched Sirius's Adam's apple bob with every swallow, wondering what it would be like to be able to kiss that stretch of skin again. He quickly shook off the thought though, because he couldn't; wouldn't; not now, not ever.

'Come back home, Moony,' Sirius said finally, breaking the comfortable silence and setting the glass on the table. 'Come back. We all miss you - Peter, James, Lily.'

Remus clenched and unclenched his hand. 'I can't, Padfoot.' His heart was beating holes through his chest; beating so hard that he could practically hear it.

'But I thought you cared for me!' Sirius cried out, practically rising from the bed.

Remus pushed Sirius gently by the shoulders, back into a semi sitting position. "I do, Padfoot, a lot. That's why it's so important that I keep you safe.'

Sirius pushed Remus's hands off angrily. 'Fuck, Moony, don't tell you still believe all that shit about Greyback coming back for revenge? I told you before, he's not coming back!'

'You don't know him like I do, Sirius! You have no idea what he's capable of!'

'Give me a break, Remus! You're not Greyback's only victim!'

'We're not talking about victims here, Sirius! We're talking about rivalry!' Remus took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He failed horribly. 'Greyback's hated my father from the start, and he made sure to get revenge. He never forgets an enemy, not until they're dead. He'd intended to kill me as well that night, but he couldn't. Do you really think he's going to stop after just one try?'

'So you're going to play the martyr and go get yourself killed, are you?'

Remus said nothing. His silence was enough confirmation.

Sirius growled, punching Remus in the chest. It didn't hurt much, given Sirius's condition. 'Damn it, Moony, we're your friends! We're here to protect each other! If the need arises, we'll fight alongside you!'

Remus closed his eyes and sighed. He could feel a migraine coming on and pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. 'You're tired, Padfoot. You need some sleep. Mrs. Ackerman isn't going to be home for a few days, so you can camp here tonight.' He stood, purposefully avoiding Sirius's gaze. 'I'll be here if you need anything.'

Sirius grabbed his arm before he could walk away. 'Remus, don't do this,' his tone was halfway between pleading and warning. When Remus tried to pull away, Sirius simply tightened his grip. 'Look, I know you're going to be a stubborn bastard about this, okay? I know that, but can you at least sleep beside me? I missed you, Moony, and I know you did too.' He pulled on Remus's hand a little more. 'If you wake up tomorrow morning and still feel the same way about this whole thing, then I'll let you go, okay?' Sirius's voice broke towards the end, but he seemed to be telling the truth. 'I promise I'll let you go forever.'

Remus hesitated, the conflict of emotions he'd been feeling suddenly piling on. He didn't want Sirius to let him go forever. He just wanted him to stay away. It was selfish of him, he knew, but...

Sirius was right. They would have to go their own separate ways tomorrow morning. There was no changing Remus's mind. Anyone who knew him knew that Remus's resolve was as firm as cement. Not even Sirius, who Remus always lost control to, could waver his conviction. Then, why not spend their last night together rather than alone? Why not savour the chance to hold Sirius in his arms one last time?

'Please, Remus.'

Sirius didn't have to protest further because Remus already found himself unconsciously gravitating towards the bed and slipping under the covers.

'You're leaving tomorrow,' Remus said, making sure there was a note of finality in his voice. 'I'm not going back.'

Sirius sniffed but said nothing. Remus had expected him to scream, protest, and maybe even try to kiss him. He did neither. Instead, Sirius simply wrapped his arms around Remus's waist, closing his eyes as he snuggled deep into the crook of the werewolf's neck.

xxx

Insight is an instance of apprehending the true nature of a thing, especially through intuitive understanding.

Insight is a penetrating mental vision or discernment; faculty of seeing into the inner character or underlying truth.

Insight is an understanding of situations that shed light on or helps sole a problem.

Sirius could never be sure if it had come to him in a dream or if he had simply thought of it as an artiste might think of a song. What he was sure of was that when he jolted awake the next morning, with Remus still fast asleep beside him, the simplicity of the idea had hit him like a ton of bricks.

He didn't wake up Remus immediately though; he wanted to think things through; make sure the plan was foolproof. It was a completely selfless act, Sirius convinced himself. It had nothing to do with watching the way the sunlight played upon Remus's face, or the way his long brown hair spread haphazardly all over the pillow (someone was going to wake up with horrible bed hair). It definitely had nothing to do with the arm slung over his chest, or even the way their legs tangled together. No, it was none of those things, no matter how pleasant they felt.

'Mm, Padfoot?'

Of course, his selfless act of letting Remus sleep didn't last long. How could it? Remus didn't know

how caring Sirius was being. 'Moony, I just thought of something.'

Remus didn't open his eyes, only snuggling deeper into Sirius's shoulder. 'I don't want eggs, Padfoot. London eggs taste funny.'

Sirius smiled at Remus's delirium. Obviously, the werewolf hadn't completely woken up yet. 'No eggs, I promise. But you need to wake up, okay? This is important.'

Remus whined. 'Five more minutes?'

Sirius hated waking Remus up like this. Back home, it was usually Remus who woke up early and made breakfast; Remus who dragged Sirius out of bed by his feet; and Remus who put up with his early morning babble. It had been months since Sirius woke up with Remus by his side and for some reason, it felt like a moment to treasure right now.

The logical, traitorous part of his brain, however, didn't agree with him as much. 'It's about Greyback, Moony.'

Remus's eyes popped open, and he looked around for a minute as if taking in exactly where he was. He was about to sit up, when Sirius put a hand over his chest and another over his mouth, effectively shutting him up.

'Look, I know what you're about to say, but hear me out, okay? The only reason you're here is because you're afraid Greyback will come back, right? What if I told you I could put him in Azkaban?'

Remus removed Sirius's hand from his mouth. 'How?'

'Well,' Sirius started slowly. It was a good plan, he knew, but had a feeling Remus wouldn't be as enthusiastic about it. 'I need you to remember that night all over again...exactly how it had started out...every detail of the attack...'

Remus looked confused. 'I don't understand. Remember the-?' He stopped suddenly, eyes widening in realisation. 'Oh.' He swallowed heavily. 'Oh.' He looked down at his hands, eyes suddenly dulling with apprehension. 'Padfoot, I can't-'

Sirius grabbed Remus's face by his cheeks, forcing large amber orbs to meet stormy grey. 'Moony...Remus, you need to trust me, okay? You need to trust me because I'd never, ever do anything to hurt you.'

'But what if it-'

'It's flawless, Remus. We both know it.' 'I-'

Sirius's grip tightened. 'It will work.' Remus took a deep breath and nodded.

'Right.' Sirius reached for his wand on the bedside table, making sure to hold Remus's right hand between his own tightly. He wasn't afraid of Remus escaping but felt that his friend needed something to hold on to if he intended to get through this ordeal. 'Right. You ready?'

Remus looked fixatedly at the wand in Sirius's hands and perhaps it was just Sirius's imagination, but his breathing seemed to quicken. He nodded vigorously, as if not trusting himself to speak, and even braved a small smile towards Sirius.

'Just trust me, alright?' Sirius said, hoping he sounded calm as he placed the tip of his wand to Remus's forehead and read out the spell in his mind. The charm itself was simple, but the task of remembering the entire incident all over again was anything but.

There was a shudder in Sirius's wand at the same time Remus made a keening sound. The tip of the wand was starting to turn silver, forcing Sirius's hand backward rebelliously. Sirius pushed back with all his strength, watching with awe as the silver grew brighter and spread further. Remus's fingers tightened around Sirius's hand almost painfully, and Sirius was quite sure that those blunt nails were digging far enough to draw blood. The werewolf's face was scrunched up in agony; his eyebrows knitting together, his teeth biting hard into his lower lip. His long hair fell in waves around his shoulder, and Sirius could barely make out the scar Fenrir had given him. To his horror, the scar burned red as if only a few days old.

A part of Remus was resisting the magic, perhaps unconsciously, and Sirius pulled his wand slowly but forcefully, willing the memory to break free. It struggled against him and just when Sirius thought it would slip back, the memory relented and fell easily into Sirius's lap. Sirius stared at the thin strand of hair, now glowing a fresh, bright silver. He levitated it into the water glass that stood on the bedside table and sealed it with a quick flick of his wrist. Flashes of Mr. Lupin's and Remus's screaming faces reflected on the glass surface, and Sirius watched them, fascinated and perplexed at how harmless it looked now that it was finally out.

Sirius shook his head and looked back at Remus whose both hands had now settled on each of Sirius's shoulders. They weren't holding him very hard, just tight enough for support. Remus hadn't even looked up yet; his eyes were still tightly shut and his breathing was still coming out as erratic gasps.

'You okay?' Sirius asked worriedly, stroking Remus's hair and finding it drenched with sweat.

Remus nodded, but Sirius noticed a single tear trace its way down the bridge of his nose and hit the bed sheets. 'I'm okay,' he assured, but his voice trembled even more than his body.

Sirius didn't hesitate. He wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him closer to his chest and keeping him there until his friend had completely stopped shaking. For a moment, Sirius was afraid Remus was going to cry and scream again but nothing of the sort happened. Remus simply lay limp in Sirius's arms, letting Sirius stroke and kiss his hair rhythmically and occasionally letting out a dry cough.

Sirius sighed, resting his chin upon the crown of Remus's head. 'Come on, Moony, let's go home.'

xxx

It didn't take long for Remus and Sirius to return to their apartment in London. After they'd cleared matters up with Dorcas Meadows (who didn't seem too pleased with Sirius going), Sirius had sent a short but excited letter to James and Peter about his little adventure. He'd considered explaining his plan to James through the letter but decided against it in the end; Merlin knew things got intercepted nowadays. Instead, he just mentioned that he would need James to help out a little bit, and that he was in no condition to refuse because this was about Remus. Not that he ever doubted James to start with.

So really, it should have come as no surprise when Remus and Sirius entered the flat to find James, Lily, and Peter already waiting for them on the sofa.

'Remus!' Lily jumped out of her seat and practically crashed into Remus, shoving Sirius out of the way.

Remus waved meekly. 'Hello, Lily.'

Lily decided it would be a good idea to reply Remus's greeting with a tight slap across his right cheek. It didn't seem like a very hard slap, but Sirius could swear he could hear the noise vibrating along the walls. There was a thin, red handprint on Remus's right cheek, and all the Marauders were staring at it with some sort of awe. Remus's own mouth had dropped open and seemed to permanently stay down, even as he raised a hand to touch the stinging mark.

'Do you have any idea how worried we were?' she cried out again and punched Remus weakly in the shoulder, before bursting into tears and pulling the werewolf into a hug. 'You absolute, stupid-'

Remus put his arms around her, patting her back awkwardly as she wept into his chest. The rest of them looked away, sensing some kind of private moment. It was a known fact that Lily really cared for Remus the most among the Marauders; sometimes, Sirius thought, even more than James. It could just be the jealousy talking, but Sirius still believed that if Lily ever had the chance, she would rather be with Remus than James, no matter how much she claimed to be in love with "Potter's endearing charm". It was stupid of course; third year crushes rarely meant anything at the age of eighteen.

When Lily's sobs finally subsided, they all turned to look up at Remus again. The werewolf looked thoroughly cried upon; his thin t-shirt had several wet splotches across the chest. When Sirius looked at it pointedly, Remus just shrugged and smiled at him privately. Women, go figure, Sirius could practically hear him say, and he winked at his lover in reply.

'It's nice to have you back, Moony,' said James, hugging Remus tightly after Lily had given them some space.

'It's good to be back,' Remus replied, moving to hug Peter and dodging James's attempts to ruffle his hair.

'W-we missed y-you, Moony,' Peter replied, disentangling and standing a little away from the group.

Sirius didn't know if it was his imagination or not, but Peter didn't seem too happy about Remus returning. It was the way he avoided touching Remus too much or stuttered when he talked, or even how he sometimes showed complete apathy in situations such as this. Then again, Peter had always been a little jittery and hard to read, even during Hogwarts. After all, he did help them quite a lot when Remus had first gone missing. And, didn't he mention having a hard time at work the other day? It was obvious he would; even back at Hogwarts, Peter depended solely on the Marauders to get him through things. Now that they were going their own separate ways, their little friend was just having a difficult time fending for himself. Sirius almost felt sorry for him.

'Well, if all the endearments are done, James and I need to get to the Ministry. We...just need to cancel that missing report now that Remus is back'

James looked at him strangely, and Sirius shook his head imperceptibly. He didn't know why he hadn't told the truth about Remus's memory, but some sort of paranoid instinct told him to hold the information back from Lily and Peter until they'd actually got matters cleared. Sirius had no doubt

Greyback would be put in Azkaban; Remus's memories and James and Moody's testaments would prove too hard an evidence to ignore for the Ministry.

'D-do you want me to come along?' Peter asked, wringing his hands and not quite meeting their eyes.

Sirius waved it off. 'Nah! Won't even take a minute. That Bird lady doesn't like me much, so I'm taking James along. You and Lily stay here with Moony; he has stories to tell, don't you, Moony?'

Remus smiled, but Sirius could see the apprehension beneath it. 'Yeah, yeah...we'll catch up a bit.'

Peter nodded and Lily pursed her lips in disapproval; clearly sensing something amiss but not quite saying anything.

Sirius clapped his hands jovially. 'Brilliant! We'll just apparate then.' Sirius was just about to close his eyes, when he felt Remus's familiar hands grab him by the wrist. Sirius looked at him questioningly.

'Can I come along?' he whispered, so only James and Sirius could actually hear him.

'You know you can't, Moony. It's only going to cause more trouble. They'll be bloody prejudiced about it and just give you a hard time in general. Merlin knows what questions they'll ask you. They won't even give you a chance.'

'But I-'

James put an assuring hand on Remus's shoulder. 'Don't worry, Moony. We'll get it done; no one can refuse a Potter and a Black.' He grinned toothily. 'Disowned or not, we both still make up the most powerful families in the Wizard World.'

Remus nodded. 'I know. I just still don't think this is a good idea. Either of you could get hurt, especially if this doesn't work out. I don't want that happening again, especially not because of me.'

'We're the Marauders, Moony, remember?' James and Sirius grinned at each other, that childish gleam in their eyes back after a long time, as they chorused, 'We're invincible.'

Remus laughed and Sirius enjoyed the way his dimples hollowed into his cheeks.

'By the way, Moony,' Sirius continued, leaning close to his ear conspiringly. 'Lily has some good news to share. You might want to wheedle it out.' He winked towards James, who blushed slightly.

Remus nodded, smiling. 'I'll keep that in mind. Oh, and Sirius? I-' He looked at James, who seemed to still be listening in, and cut off. Remus cleared his throat pointedly, but James just smirked mischievously and moved closer.

'I know, Remus.' Sirius leaned closer for a kiss but stopped when he felt James still watching them. He glared murderously, to which his best friend simply waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Sirius looked over Remus's shoulder to see Peter turning away obediently, and Lily waiting expectantly for something romantic to happen in between them. He silently wondered when the two of them had turned into a personalised TV soap. 'Later,' he whispered, squeezing Remus's hand tightly before disapparating.

xxx

Remus licked across Sirius's bottom lip, teasing him into letting out a moan of discontent. Sirius pushed closer, straddling Remus's lap and seeking out Remus's tounge with his own, tasting toothpaste and something uniquely Remus. The hands slipping beneath his shirt were cool and insistent, rubbing his stomach and back, pulling him impossibly close and worshipping every inch of his skin with hard, insistent touches. Sirius's own hands were slipping past the waistband of Remus's pyjama bottoms, feeling the smooth curve of his arse, before squeezing indulgently. Remus let out a strangled gasp and arched his hips against Sirius's, letting their erections collide painfully.

The owl carrying the Daily Prophet flew through their window and settled on the table Sirius had every intention of having sex on. When neither of them responded, it hooted angrily and nipped Sirius's ear painfully.

'Ow! What the fuck!'

'Mm...' Remus smiled and smoothed back Sirius's hair. He flipped their positions easily, leaving Sirius splayed on the table on his back. 'Pay the owl, I'll make us tea.' Remus looked deliciously debauched, and Sirius couldn't help but steal a small kiss from the werewolf before letting him go.

Sirius grumbled and paid the owl from the biscuit jar on the kitchen counter. The owl hooted one last time and flew off, purposefully flapping its feathers against Sirius's face.

'Stupid bird,' he griped, throwing aside the band that held the newspaper in a roll. 'Should fry them all in nice hot oil and eat them for breakfast.'

Remus chuckled, lighting the stove with his wand. 'You could use the food. You look like a walking skeleton.'

Sirius snorted, opening to the front page. 'Right tart coming from the King of Skeletons hims-' Sirius heart nearly stopped as his eyes fell to the black, bold headlines of the Daily Prophet. Fuck.

'Padfoot?' Remus turned inquiringly at the sudden silence. 'What's wrong?'

'Oh, nothing!' Sirius exclaimed, his voice sounding a bit too pitchy even to his own ears. He quickly folded the paper into two and rested his elbow on top of it.

Remus frowned suspiciously. 'What did you read?'

Sirius laughed, waving his question off. 'Just a nasty article about dogs and fleas. You know how Padfoot hates fleas.'

Remus raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing anything Sirius was babbling. He pulled up a chair beside Sirius and looked at the Prophet pointedly. 'Give it here then. Let's have a look at this shocking article of yours.'

'I really don't think-'

'Sirius...' Remus tone lowered warningly. 'What is it? Has it got something to do with yesterday?' He swallowed. 'Is it about Greyback?'

When Sirius didn't answer, Remus snatched the paper from underneath him, his eyes widening increasingly as he read the front page of the newspaper. Sirius didn't even need to look at it to know what Remus was reading; the article seemed to be imprinted into the back of his mind.

Greyback in Azkaban! Creatures of the night burnt down!

- Jack Mellon

After rumours regarding the involvement of Fenrir Greyback in the death of former auror, John Lupin, were confirmed by an unknown source, an angry mob of wizards and witches were found holding a protest sometime around midnight. While various complaints had been made by neighbours regarding the noise, no pervasive action was taken against it by the Ministry. In fact, the Ministry remained completely oblivious to the situation, until the mass had moved farther on to the suburbs and set the werewolf camp, hosted and funded by Greyback, on fire.

This camp is said to have held over two hundred werewolves, mostly under the age of twenty; and serves as a shelter for the homeless and those bitten recently. Caught by surprise, very few of these creatures were able to escape, and were burnt alive in their beds. Even fewer were able to escape both the fire and the mob, and many were left injured and under medical care.

Ministry officials, however, arrived in time to capture Greyback during his getaway and have sent the elderly werewolf to Azkaban. He is to serve a life sentence under allegations of murder and joining arms with the Dark Lord.

For more information on the Greyback trial and John Lupin's murder, read page 12.

The paper fell away from Remus's hands.

'This wasn't supposed to happen, Remus, I swear-'

Remus suddenly let out an enraged yell and pushed the table sideways, sending it toppling to the floor. 'You told me it would be a secret, Sirius! You told me it would be kept quiet!'

Sirius stared at the broken legs of what had once been a very good breakfast table. 'I did! It leaked out! I swear!' He felt strangely exposed and guilty without the table hiding half of him; and it wasn't even his fault. 'There were only three judges there, along with James, Moody, and me! I swear, Remus!'

'YOU PROMISED ME NO ONE WOULD GET HURT!' 'And they won't!'

Remus flung the paper at Sirius's face. 'Then what the fuck is this, Sirius? What the fuck? An entire shelter burnt down! More than half of them are dead!'

Sirius stared at the paper on the ground, not sure what to say. What could he say? Sirius had thought Remus would be more concerned about the details of the attack being let out, but he seemed rather to be more upset about the werewolf killings. Sirius didn't exactly see a point in feeling any sympathy. They were all murderers, criminals; they had all sided with Voldemort; and in the end, they were the reason why Remus's father was in a coffin instead of his home where he truly belonged.

Sirius didn't understand why Remus's eyes were shining with suppressed tears of rage and frustration over these misfits. His confusion must have shown in his face because the anger in Remus's face seemed to leave a bit, as he collapsed into the chair with his head in his hands.

'There was this child,' Remus began, his voice sounding ragged with suppressed emotion. 'Rubel; he couldn't have been older than six, Sirius. He didn't even know where he was from or who his parents were. All he knew was the shelter and what Greyback taught him.'

Comprehension finally dawned on Sirius, and he reached out to put a comforting hand over

Remus's.

'They were all like that, Padfoot. They were all just innocent children. They didn't know any better. No one ever told them that killing was wrong, or that they were actually human. Greyback was how they grew up. He was all they knew.'

'I-You never told me about that...'

Remus shook his head. 'It never really occurred to me until now. They don't deserve this, Sirius. It isn't fair. They're not...they're not monsters.'

Sirius stroked between Remus's thumb and forefinger. 'No, they're not.'

Remus looked up, his hand suddenly closing around Sirius's tightly. 'Can you find him? Can you check if he's alive?'

Sirius didn't have to ask to know that Remus was talking about that boy: Rubel. 'I can try.'

'He could run really fast, Padfoot. I think...I think he would have made it out...do you?

Remus looked so helpless and vulnerable right then that Sirius didn't have the heart to say no. To be completely honest, he didn't think a child that small had any chance of surviving such an enormous ordeal.

However, later in the office, he would check anyway, for Remus's sake. He would, as expected, find nothing. He wound find that the remains of the shelter were untouched, the bodies left to their own accord to rot and return back to the earth. There would be only a handful of survivors in Mungo's, very few of which would be children, and none of which would be young enough to be Rubel. He would break the news to Remus only two hours later, and Remus would simply nod and ask Sirius if he wanted to buy James and Lily a tea set for their wedding.

xxx

Sirius wasn't asleep when he felt Remus moving out of his arms and slipping out of the covers. He pretended to be so, as he watched Remus slowly put on his coat and shoes through the corner of his eyes. He lay unmoving, until he had heard the door softly click shut, after which he bounded out of the bed and behind Remus. He didn't think his lover was leaving; Remus hadn't taken any baggage with him like he did the last time, but he was curious as to where Remus was sneaking out at this time of the night. Sirius hoped Remus wasn't distraught enough to get himself drunk in a bar or anything like that. He knew Remus wasn't that kind of person, but everything seemed to be happening to him lately and if it had been Sirius, he would have snapped by now.

Sirius followed Remus through dimly lit streets and into a familiar gully they always used for apparition, four blocks away from the apartment. He watched with confusion as Remus stopped midway and bent down to pick a small pink marigold that was blossoming against all odds in the dankest, darkest corner of the gully. He wasn't sure how he knew, but the minute he saw the flower cradled protectively in Remus's hands, Sirius knew where his friend was going. Remus was going to seek closure.

Sirius apparated into the burnt down shelter only seconds after Remus. His gasp of surprise was only muffled by Remus's own, as he looked upon the barren area of what was once an actual living habitat. The metal gate was lying fifty feet away from the entrance with a giant gaping hole in it, clearly blasted aside by very powerful magic. The walls had been broken down in various places in similar ways, and Sirius could see maroon stains on the barb wires and brick. It didn't take a genius

to figure out what those stains truly were, and Sirius quickly looked away in disgust. He looked ahead instead and saw the remains of a once blooming forest. Most of the trees had been charred to the ground and the ones that remained erect, leaned in a ghastly, dangerous way; its branches splayed out like bony arms reaching out for you. The shelter itself brought images of a graveyard to Sirius's mind. The building foundation had collapsed under the heat of the fire and buried all that inhabited it along with it. The wind blew piles of dust and rubble, and Sirius felt as if he could still hear the shrill screams of the werewolves trapped inside their own home, aching to get out.

He shivered and wrapped his coat tighter around himself. Ahead of him, he could see Remus's knees collapsing underneath him, bringing him kneeling to the ground. For a second, Sirius considered going to him, helping him out, when he noticed that Remus had folded his hands in a prayer. His head was bowed down so his temple touched his knuckles, and the marigold was clamped between his hands. Sirius himself had never been much of a Christian; he had never gone to church and could count on one hand the number of times he had actually bowed down to pray. He let go of his beliefs this time though and clasped his own hands in front of him.

It was a short prayer. Grant us justice, that was all Sirius asked for.

'I know you're there, Padfoot,' Remus said suddenly, breaking Sirius out of his reverie. 'I can feel

you.'

Sirius came out of the shadows, feeling perhaps, the worst he'd ever felt his entire life. 'I'm sorry,' he said, kneeling down beside Remus.

Remus shook his head. 'It's not your fault. It's theirs.'

Sirius didn't have to know who 'they' was. 'They' was the corrupt system of management that claimed to govern their safety and well being. 'They' were the same people who let these innocent beings die such a brutal death. The burning had been no accident, everyone knew that, even the commoners. There were potentially dangerous werewolves to be disposed of; the leakage had been planned.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus's shoulder, pulling his lover closer and resting his head against the crook of the werewolf's neck. He kissed the small expanse of skin he found there, smelling faint traces of soap and sweat.

'Do you think they were happy?' Remus asked, wrapping his arms around Sirius's waist.

Sirius sighed. 'I don't know, Moony.'

'I like to think they were...they looked it.' Remus smiled slightly. 'Even if he was evil, Greyback was kind to them. He turned them into what they were, but he never abandoned them. I think...I like to think it was the part of him that remained human.'

'But he hurt you.'

'He hated my father,' Remus replied, tucking his brown hair behind his right ear. 'He made me. He cared for me. But in the end, hatred won out. But to these children, he was what my father was to me; he was their everything.'

Sirius didn't understand, not quite, but nodded anyway. 'Do you wish you'd taken the job?'

Remus shrugged. 'Sometimes. Sometimes, I think I could have given them something important, something Greyback couldn't bring himself to give them fully and completely.' He looked at Sirius, amber eyes gazing adoringly into stormy grey. 'Something you give me every single day of my

life.'

'Love,' Sirius whispered, smiling.

'Love,' Remus repeated, placing the marigold over the ashes.