momentum

by lilralien

dog moon

9. momentum august

August, 1979

Remus sighed as another one of his colleagues passed by him with a scowl on her face and her eyes looking straight ahead. He should have been used to this by now; after all, it was his fourth week on the job as a Runes Translator. What an accomplishment it was too; this was the longest period he'd ever been able to hold a Wizard's job.

Mr. Samuel Pickering, the Head of the company, hadn't been too keen on hiring Remus initially. His dislike for werewolves and Remus, in general, had shown quite clearly on his face the minute he'd read Remus's credentials. However, the company had desperately needed a translator and who better to choose than Remus Lupin, who had straight O's in every NEWT subject he'd given. To some extent, Remus liked Mr. Pickering; he was harsh but kept his personal biases out of the workplace and didn't treat Remus any differently from the other employees.

'It's completely incompetent; I don't know why the boss keeps it anyway.' Remus heard someone whisper.

He looked up to see Mr. Pickering's secretary, Loudon Ploy, sitting only a few desks away from him and talking to two other people that Remus recognised from the Charms Department but didn't quite know their names. In his own head, he had named them 'Pimples' and 'Greasy' for obvious reasons. They were sharing a cigarette between themselves and would occasionally glare at Remus with the subtlety of a rampaging Hippogriff.

'I don't know, Ploy, the boss seems to think he's quite efficient.' Remus inwardly thanked Pimples for standing up for him.

Greasy snorted. 'Doesn't matter, does it? Half the staff is scared it'll rip their throats out, and the other half is just plain nauseated.'

Ploy nodded agreeably. 'I heard Jake's threatening to resign if Pickering doesn't fire the beast soon.'

The three of them scowled at Remus in disgust, and Remus quickly looked down, concentrating too hard on the parchment in front of him. He fought the lump steadily rising in his throat, his hold tightening on the quill he'd been writing with for so long. Ploy and the others were still talking, but Remus effectively tuned them out. He didn't need to listen to them anymore.

Remus didn't care. This sort of treatment wasn't new to him anymore. He'd grown up with it after all. His parents had sheltered him as much as they could; shifting to a Muggle town after he was bitten and taking care of him after every full moon. Yet, they were never able to avoid the regular

trips to the Werewolf Registry; back then, Remus would cry into his parent's arms, screaming about the unfairness of it all. That was back when he was six; eleven years had passed since then; Remus didn't care anymore.

It looked like Remus's fourth week was going to be his last. Remus didn't care and mostly, he wouldn't blame Mr. Pickering if he decided to fire him. Pickering had given him a chance that many others had refused Remus at first glance: a chance to work according to his credentials. It didn't matter how qualified Remus was though or even how hard he worked on every task. Once people would start resigning and leaving the job, Pickering would have no choice left but to get rid of the root of the problem, namely, Remus.

He didn't care, not really. Remus just hoped he'd last the month, just enough to get his salary. Sirius's birthday was coming up, and Remus had caught him eyeing some kind of motorcycle gear (that only Sirius could name without getting his tounge caught in a knot) put on display in a dingy Muggle shop.

Remus didn't care, but the quill in his hand snapped into two.

Remus stared at the remains of his broken quill and shrugged, simply picking out another one from the holder. He had people who didn't treat him like an invalid or a monster; people who cared for him and treated him like any other human being; people who taught him to laugh at the face of his ailment; people he'd give his life for. He had his family, his friends, and the Order; and there was no way he was going to let Loudon Ploy or anyone else dampen his spirits today. No, because today was James's stag party, and he, Sirius, and Pete had spent a week planning for it, and he was going to have fun, damn it.

Remus dipped his quill in ink and began to write.

Sirius tipped the last of his drink and leaned back in his chair, balancing it precariously on its back legs. He couldn't stop laughing as James and Frank Longbottom drank shot after shot, competing to see who could hold his alcohol best. The party had turned out better than he'd planned. It was a small gathering, smaller than Sirius had wanted it to be, with only the Order members and a few of their old school friends invited. However, the bar itself was small, making even those handful of people look like a raging crowd.

'Moony!' James cried out suddenly, arse over tits drunk, half jumping, half toppling out of his seat. 'Just in time!' He pushed Frank Longbottom out of the way as he scrambled to get to Remus who had just entered through the front door.

Sirius's chair fell back on its front legs as he leaned forward to get a better look. He couldn't help but admire the way the dim lights of the bar reflected on Remus's honey brown hair and deep amber eyes. The werewolf looked a little tired and lined but happy nonetheless. Sirius wished Remus didn't have to work so many hours a day; it seemed to be really taking a toll on his lover.

'Guess what Padfoot got me, Moony!' James cried, slinging an arm over Remus's shoulder and practically balancing his entire weight on the werewolf.

Remus smiled knowingly. 'I don't know, Prongs. What did Padfoot get you?'

Remus was just playing along of course; he knew perfectly well what Sirius had gotten James. In fact, Sirius had suggested the idea to him the very first day they'd started planning for the party.

While Remus had been reluctant then, he'd conceded after a lot of cajoling on Sirius's part; after all, no bachelor party was complete without-

'EXOTIC DANCERS!' Frank cried out, practically falling over his stool as a line of scantily clad women entered the scene.

'EXOTIC DANCERS!' James echoed, disentangling from Remus in favour of getting a better view.

The werewolf shook his head, smiling fondly. Sirius watched intently as Remus walked towards him and settled down on the seat beside his. Their hands brushed briefly. 'Lily is going to kill you when she finds out.'

Sirius raised a cocky eyebrow. 'Who's going to tell her?'

Remus laughed, a deep sound vibrating against his throat. 'How drunk did you get Prongs anyway? He could hardly stand straight.'

'Not drunk enough; it took me ten whole minutes to convince him that this was a good idea. That woman's got him whipped.'

'Mm...' Remus reached out for the glass of whiskey in Sirius's hand, making sure to place his lips exactly where Sirius's had been as he downed what was left of it in one gulp. 'Never seen Frank this wild either; who knew?'

Sirius was just about to comment on exactly how wild Frank had gotten in the last hour, when suddenly he found himself knocked back into the chair, on the receiving end of a very generous lap dance. Sirius blinked up at the woman on top of him; she smiled coquettishly but did not stop her little jig, instead pushing up her sizeable breasts against his chest. Sirius grinned, looking over her shoulder to see Remus in a similar position. Remus had been dragged to the floor by another dancer, and the bastard had actually scored larger knockers than Sirius. He glanced helplessly towards Sirius as the woman rubbed against him erratically. Sirius, in reply, simply smirked and winked at him in return.

Sirius could almost hear Remus trying to make polite excuses.

'Loosen up, Moony!' But only have eyes for me, Sirius didn't mention but made sure that they maintained unwavering eye contact, even as the girl on his lap pressed up against him.

Sirius could see Remus's eyes darken slowly in response, first in worry, then disapproval, and then just desire. It was obvious that Remus was oblivious to everything except Sirius, and the favour was returned just as well. The women aroused them; they would be lying through their teeth if they denied it, but Sirius neither indulged in the girl on his lap, nor discouraged her. This was only a part they played to keep from questions being raised; Remus knew where Sirius's allegiances lay and vice versa. In the end, all they wanted was each other.

Their intimate moment was only broken by Caradoc Dearborn suddenly thumping Remus on the back. 'Looks like you scored a good one, eh, Remus?' He screamed unnecessarily. He didn't seem very drunk, but one could never tell with Caradoc, who was known for his eccentric and odd behaviour.

Caradoc seemed unmindful to the fake smile Remus gave him or the obvious discomfort Remus was feeling at being pressed up against and forced into getting an erection by an unknown face.

'So you going to take her to home or what? You know, sweeten the deal and all?' Caradoc winked playfully at Remus.

Sirius felt his insides boil. He looked at Remus and to his surprise, found him smiling. Smiling! Like it wasn't a matter at all. Like Remus was actually considering the option of taking that sleazy bint home to fuck her. Sirius glared at Caradoc hard enough to burn holes through his skull.

'Padfoot, mate,' James slurred, pushing off the girl on Sirius's lap and settling there himself. 'You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for!'

Remus stubbed the last of his cigarette before switching off the lights. He made his way to the bed through memory and the small sliver of light that came from the bathroom door being left ajar. Sirius was taking a shower inside, and Remus could hear him tunelessly humming to a song that had been playing back at the bar. The success of James's stag party had put them all in a very good mood, especially Sirius, who had even smiled through Lily's scolding after the both of them had dragged a very inebriated James back home.

'Padfoot?'

'Hm?'

Remus pulled the blanket up to his chin, bracing himself to ask the question that had been plaguing his mind since the morning. 'Do you think – I mean, do you think it shows? That – that I'm not human? I mean, can you look at me and tell...that I'm a werewolf?'

Sirius stopped humming. 'What kind of bloody stupid question is that, Moony?' 'I – does it?'

'I think the answer's obvious, Moony, and I'm not going to humour you with a reply,' Sirius replied tightly, 'I don't want you asking me ridiculous questions like that again, you get that?'

Remus traced the wrinkles on the sheets with his fingers. 'I just-'

'It's those people at work, isn't it?' Sirius asked angrily. 'Fuck, Moony, I don't understand why you tolerate them or even listen to them to start with? I really don't get it. Do you actually enjoy demoralising yourself like this?'

'It's not about demoralising myself, Padfoot! To me, it seems like all of you are pretending to ignore what is so bloody obvious! I mean, everyone else sees it and all of them can't be wrong!'

Remus heard a dull 'thud' as Sirius hit the tiles. 'Fuck everyone! You're human, and that's the end of this discussion! I want you to go up there and quit first thing tomorrow; bloody bastards!'

Remus snorted derisively. 'I won't have to. I overheard a couple of people talking; I'll be fired in a few days.'

'Yeah well, all for the better! Who gives a fucking damn?'

'I do!' Remus yelled suddenly, his hands clenching the sheets tightly. 'For once, Padfoot, I'd like to be able to get a job and keep it! Is that really too much to ask?'

Sirius said nothing, but Remus could tell that he was furious. If there was something the Animagus was good at, it was expressing his anger theatrically. Remus could hear the taps squeaking as they

were forcefully turned shut; the whining of the steel railing rolling on its hinges as Sirius grabbed his towel; the banging of cabinet doors as Sirius took out his toothbrush and paste; and the mutinous scrubbing as Sirius brushed hard enough to make his gums bleed.

Remus sighed regretfully and turned on his back. He shouldn't have brought the topic up; he knew how much things like this agitated Sirius.

Even through closed eyes, he could tell Sirius had entered the room by the slapping of his bare feet against the floor. Remus knew his lover's routine by heart: Sirius would change into a pair of boxers and a borrowed t-shirt from Remus; he would then spend a good five minutes in front of the mirror combing his freshly cut hair back diligently; and then finally slip into bed beside Remus, falling asleep with a final kiss on the lips.

However, there were no tell tale signs of Sirius going on about his daily rituals and a part of Remus – the part that always thudded loudly against his chest in Sirius's presence – told him that Sirius was coming closer to the bed. Standing in front of Remus. Placing a soft damp hand on Remus's forehead.

'I'm sorry,' breathed out Remus, as Sirius stroked his hair out of his face and behind his ears. 'I ruined your good mood. I'm an absolute prick.'

Sirius chuckled, stroking Remus's cheek with his knuckles. 'You didn't ruin my mood, Moony,' he whispered softly. 'I just...I really hate it when you say things like this. I hate it.'

'I know. I'm sorry.'

'Tired?'

Remus hummed quietly, leaning a little into Sirius's touch. 'Just a bit.' 'Pity.'

Remus made a soft noise of discontent as Sirius's hands moved away. He pouted unconsciously and opened his eyes questioningly only to have them pop out of his head. Sirius was standing in front of him, blissfully naked and aroused, only a towel draped around his shoulders. Remus watched as droplets of water from Sirius's hair trickled south in a steady stream.

Remus swallowed; Sirius grinned, cocking his head to the side unabashedly. 'I was kind of hoping we could have a little celebration of our own.'

'Come here,' Remus said hoarsely, pulling Sirius into the bed by the towel.

Sirius kissed him then, hot and hard; lips soft but tounge insistent; teeth nipping but hands gently twining into smooth brown hair; knees nudging between Remus's thighs until they parted. They broke apart only when the need for air became too great to ignore.

'Not that I'm complaining,' panted Remus, as he raised his arms to help Sirius pull off his t-shirt. 'But what brings on this little celebration of ours all of a sudden?'

Sirius trailed butterfly kisses on his jaw; his neck; his shoulders; his hands moving down to work on getting rid of Remus's pants. 'We need an occasion to have sex now? What are we: fifty?'

'No.' Remus gasped as Sirius gently bit into his navel. 'So, this has nothing to do with you being nervous about James and Lily's wedding tomorrow, eh?'

Sirius snorted, kissing his way back up Remus's chest. 'You should know by now, Moony love. Sirius Black never gets nervous.'

'Ahan, then you should also know by now, Padfoot, that Remus Lupin can tell when Sirius Black is brooding over something and when he just wants to fuck for no reason.'

Sirius face scrunched up in distaste even as he fumbled in the drawer beside their bed. 'Must you make it sound so crass? I'm trying to show I love you here.'

'I already know that, you idiot.' Remus grabbed the lubricant from Sirius's hands, simultaneously flipping them over so that he was now straddling Sirius's waist. 'You topped last time; it's my turn now.'

Sirius complied, wrapping his legs around Remus's waist and pulling him closer. 'I just really want it to mean something, that's all. I mean, it's so easy for James and Lily-'

'So this is about them after all,' said Remus, as he sheathed himself inside Sirius. He couldn't help but moan at the overwhelming feeling of being inside Sirius; hot, wet, and tight.

'It's easy for all of them,' Sirius gasped as Remus brought up a hand to fist his straining erection. 'I mean – ah – all James has to do is give Lily a ring and she knows. The whole – fuck, harder, fuck – the whole world knows she belongs to him.'

Remus stilled in realisation.

Sirius growled in dissatisfaction. 'You stopped! Why the fuck did you stop?'

Remus looked at Sirius, debauched and disheveled in front of him; sweat and water pooling at the hollows of his body; panting with sheer need. 'You, Padfoot, are the daftest man alive, you know that?'

Sirius pulled Remus closer by the small of his back. 'And I'll also damage something vital if you don't fucking move already!'

Remus laughed and kissed Sirius lightly on the lips, before setting back the rhythm between them. 'It doesn't matter, Padfoot. The people who matter already know: James, Lily, Peter, my mum and my aunt – we don't need anyone else.'

'I know that. Just, I'm not ashamed of this, Moony,' said Sirius, reaching for Remus's unoccupied hand and twining their fingers together. 'I'm not ashamed of us.'

'And neither am I - ah - but we can't. You know very well that we can't. The world doesn't understand us, Padfoot, it never will.'

'I hate Caradoc,' Sirius replied completely off topic, a petulant pout forming on his face. The pout was quickly transformed into a moan of gratification as Remus hit the right spot within him again and again.

Remus captured Sirius's lips before he could say anything else; putting in all the love and passion he was feeling into that one kiss. It was messy, with too much tounge and spit, but they had come to a point where it didn't really matter. They kissed until the pleasure between them had intensified so much that all they could do was breathe into each other's mouths.

'What we have is special, Padfoot,' Remus panted out, his toes curling. 'It's exhilarating and wonderful because in the end, there's nothing like you and I.'

Remus could tell that Sirius wasn't entirely satisfied with the explanation, but he never got a chance to protest, as his orgasm took over him. He came hard and fast between them, Remus filling him only seconds later. No words were exchanged except Remus's name, which tumbled from Sirius's lips like a prayer, even as they fell into a deep slumber – a tangle of limbs.

'You may kiss the bride.'

Mr. Evans, Lily's dad, wiped a stray tear from his eyes. He smiled when he caught Sirius looking at him. 'They grow up so fast,' he said as a way of explanation.

Sirius just smiled back, a little embarrassed.

'Smile for the camera! Ready, one, two, three-'

FLASH!

Sirius blinked, seeing spots in front of his eyes.

'How about a better picture for me, Padfoot? Best man and all?'

Sirius recognised the voice immediately and sure enough, he could see Remus smiling with his own camera in his hands.

'Moony! You're late!'

Remus nodded, his smile growing wider. 'I came just in time for the vows. Can't not attend my best mate's wedding now, can I?' He grinned at James and Lily, who winked back in reply. 'I was sitting at the back.'

That explained why Sirius hadn't seen him during the ceremony. He nodded, throwing his arms around both the bride and the groom and smiling widely. There was another flash as Remus took two more pictures of them simultaneously.

'Come on up, Moony!' James yelled, already pulling Remus by the hand. 'You too, Wormtail! I'm not going to stand here and be blinded alone!'

Sirius smirked, pulling Remus by the waist until their sides collided painfully. 'I've never seen you in dress robes before,' Sirius murmured from the corner of his mouth. His eyes traveled across Remus's body, taking in the obsidian black robes and the light gold embroidery at the cuffs and collar. The robes were made of thin, flimsy material, falling to reveal Remus's hard contours perfectly despite being a tad too loose.

'I rented them; never been much for robes,' Remus explained, swinging a hand over Peter's shoulder for the picture. 'Had a hard time finding my size. That's why I ran a little late.'

'Hm, they're nice robes,' Sirius declared, turning back to look at the camera. 'They make you look incredibly-'

'Ridiculous? Stupid? Trollish?'

'Fuckable,' finished Sirius, enjoying the blush that crept up Remus's cheeks. In all honesty, the robes made Remus look beautiful, but Sirius preferred keeping this bit of information to himself really. He wasn't that much of a ponce.

'Will you two stop talking and SMILE!' snarled Lily, looking back. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her flowing wedding dress and her hair tied up in an elegant bun. Loose strands of hair framed her face perfectly and her emerald green eyes were sparkling like never before. 'These are my wedding pictures, and I want them to be PERFECT. You hear me, Sirius Black, PERFECT?'

'Don't you just love her?' James asked dreamily. His hair was lying flat for the first time in his entire life; something only copious amounts of hair gel and determination in the form of Sirius Black could truly achieve. It was odd to see scruffy little James looking so immaculate and proper, but one could not deny that he also looked quite handsome.

'Lily's a bit on the edge,' explained Sirius to Peter and Remus. 'She thinks I'm going to blow up the hall, or even worse, that I'm going to get drunk and screw up my speech.'

Peter giggled.

Remus raised a sardonic eyebrow. 'And are you?'

'Screw up the speech? Nah!' Sirius winked mischievously. 'Get drunk and blow up the hall? Maybe...'

'I heard that, Sirius Black!' Lily scolded, while somehow smiling radiantly for the camera. 'Don't you dare! I'm warning you! For the sake of your bollocks, don't you dare!'

'Don't do it, Padfoot,' Remus whispered so that only Sirius and Lily could hear him. 'For the sake your bollocks and mine, too.'

Sirius burst out laughing; Lily simply groaned.

Once the camera men had shooed them off of the platform, so that they could take pictures of the bride and groom with their parents, Sirius, Remus, and Peter went to occupy the main table

'Have you seen my mother?' asked Remus leaning up in his chair and trying to look over the crowds.

Sirius and Peter looked at each other. 'She didn't come, Moony,' Peter said slowly, putting a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

Remus looked puzzled. 'Why? She got the card, didn't she? I know she did, 'cause I helped Lily write most of them.'

Sirius nodded. 'She did. I asked Wormtail to call her up and ask if she needed a ride; she said she was sorry and that she had work and couldn't come.'

'Oh,' Remus said slowly, the disappointment in his voice showing clearly.

'She sent over a gift though,' Peter tried. 'I think it's a blender. James and Lily seem to have gotten a lot of those from all the muggle guests.'

Remus smiled weakly, the twinkle in his eye that had been there only minutes before dulling considerably. 'She's been working a lot lately.'

A waiter stopped by them with a platter full of hor'dourves; Sirius helped himself to a handful. 'Well, a psychi- psycho- the job that your mother does is very demanding.'

'Do you think something's wrong with her? I mean, she hasn't been the same since dad...you

know...'

Sirius heard Peter swallow his food loudly and frowned. 'Give her some time, Moony. You can't force yourself upon her all the time.' Sirius used his toothpick to poke Peter in the bum to see how thick skinned he was; Peter seemed too engrossed in his food to notice. 'Tell you what, we'll take the motorbike this weekend and go visit her. How does that sound?'

Remus smiled, biting into his egg roll. 'Yeah. Yeah, that sounds all right. Don't eat too many of those, Padfoot, you won't have space for dinner.'

Dinner was a pleasant affair; the Marauders and Lily all sat together while the parental units sat opposite to them. The food was excellent, if the way Peter was shoveling pudding into his mouth was any indication; and Sirius felt great to be having dinner with the Potters again. They were, after all, practically like his own family and better parents than his own had ever been. It was almost like being at Hogwarts again; talking about irrelevant moments of their daily lives, the war put aside to the back of their minds. James and Lily couldn't look happier, and Sirius felt an odd bubble of happiness rise inside him every time he saw them look at each other with glazed over eyes.

The Evanses and Potters were getting along supremely well too; especially Mr. Evans who seemed at awe with everything magical and kept asking questions like 'but where does it all come from?' and 'did you magic the food as well, simply fascinating!'. Lily's sister, however, was an entirely different story. She scowled at everything and everyone, particularly Sirius's robes. It peeved Sirius to no end, especially considering that the robes had cost him a fortune and was of the finest quality. There was no way he looked anything less than handsome, and he certainly did not appreciate being looked at like he was some kind of troll.

Sirius thought Petunia Evans looked like a horse that had gotten the shoveling fork stuck up its arse, and he was about to turn to Remus and say so when he heard Mr. Potter mention his name.

'Sirius!' Mr. Potter repeated jovially, patting Sirius on the hand. 'Now that James is finally married and settled, don't you think you should follow suite?'

Sirius felt Remus stiffen beside him. Even James, Lily, and Peter stopped talking. 'Do you have any pretty little lady in mind?'

Sirius shrugged, attempting a careless smile. 'You know me, Mr. Potter, only girl I can stand being with long enough is my motorbike.'

Mr. Potter winked. 'Ah, Sirius, ever the player; you'll have to settle down sometime. Best start searching now. I don't think you'll have much of a problem either, the ladies are cramming for you back there.'

Sirius felt Remus's hand settle just above his knee, and Sirius rested his own on top of it, squeezing lightly.

'I think it's time for a toast!' Sirius said suddenly, standing up. He didn't really know what else to do to break the discomfort that had fallen between them. He cleared his throat, a little unsure of what to say but looking confident and relieved to have something else to do.

'Two years ago, if anyone ever told me James Potter would be marrying Lily Evans, I would have laughed at their faces. I think, most of us have lost count of the number of time Prongs came back with warts all over his face; an after effect of asking Lily out for the umpteenth time, no doubt.' The crowd laughed, but Sirius was mostly concentrating at just James and Lily now. 'Oddly

enough, our Lily flower was as quoted "more willing to date the Giant Squid before she ever went out with Potter". I can't blame her though; the Giant Squid had the nicest suckers I'd ever seen.'

Sirius heard Remus's soft laughter and smiled, swirling his wine glass for show. 'But I don't think anyone can be more grateful than us that our dear Ms. Evans finally conceded. It was the end of a lifelong torment of "Padfoot, why won't Evans go out with me?" and "do you think it's because I have a fat arse?"'

James showed him the finger and Sirius laughed.

'More than that, though, Lily Evans completed the Marauders and filled the void among us that craved a female touch. She cared for us, cooked our meals for us, even cleaned our houses for us; she crept into our lives so subtly that it was almost impossible for us to realise just how much she had become a part of us and our little family.'

'Hear, hear!' cried Peter, making Lily blush to match her hair.

'She is truly one of the most wonderful women I've ever met. I don't know how you did it with a mug like yours, Potter, but I think it's an excellent tactic: sealing the deal before she got away. Now she's stuck with you till death does you apart.'

The crowd laughed; James grinned and winked slyly.

'So, here's to my brother, James Potter and his wonderful wife, Lily Evans because they are obviously the beginning of something truly wonderful. Cheers!' Sirius raised his glass before gulping down his drink in one go.

'That was beautiful, Sirius,' Lily whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

Lily frowned disapprovingly as Sirius twirled her mechanically, his movement fluid with practiced ease. 'You know, Sirius, I know I'm not exactly up to your pureblood dancing standards, but you could at least try and look like you're enjoying yourself.'

Sirius didn't respond; in fact, he wasn't even looking at her. 'Sirius!'

Sirius startled. 'Oh, sorry, Lily. You were saying something?' Lily sighed. 'Go on then, tell me what's on your mind.'

Sirius smiled enigmatically; it would have worked on most women but not Lily Evans. 'Nothing at all, Lily darling. I don't know why you'd ask as such.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Come on, Sirius, don't insult my intelligence. You've been like this since the beginning of the dance. Earlier, I think. Wait,' Lily said, her eyes widening in realisation. 'Does this have anything to do with what James's dad said?'

'Nah!' Sirius replied nonchalantly, but there was a tell tale flicker in his eyes. 'Sirius...' Lily said, her tone low and warning.

'Look, Lily, drop it. It's nothing you'd understand anyway.'

Lily looked appalled. 'Why ever not?' 'Because you're straight,' Sirius replied dully.

'Oh, Sirius,' she said, her eyes mellowing as she tucked his dark hair behind his ears. 'You're upset because you can't marry Remus, is that it?'

Sirius nearly dropped her on the floor in shock. 'WHAT? NO! Jesus, Lily, I don't want to marry him! Where in Merlin's name do you come up with these ideas?'

'What is it then?' Lily asked, a little disgruntled over being wrong.

Sirius sighed. 'You'd think I was being daft.'

'Try me.'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Fine,' he said reluctantly. 'I'm jealous of my niece.' Lily blinked. 'What?'

'I'm jealous of my niece,' repeated Sirius through gritted teeth.

Lily looked at ten-year old Nymphadora Tonks, her hair a nice platinum blonde today. She was dancing with Remus, not far away from them, and barely reached his waist despite standing on his shoes. Her bright pink dress swayed gracefully with the music as Remus guided them through the dance floor. She would occasionally laugh at something undoubtedly funny that Remus would say; her childish laughter loud and careless. To be honest, Lily had asked Remus to dance with the child, just to occupy her long enough to stop toppling things over. They had already lost a very expensive crystal vase.

'I'm not asking for much, Lily,' Sirius continued slowly, opening up to her. 'I don't want to marry him or something stupid like that. But I wouldn't mind being able to hold his hand without everyone looking at us like we were the scum of the Earth. I mean...' Sirius breathed heavily. 'You and James, you guys can have it off in public, and no one will say a thing. I so much as kiss him on the cheek and there are about eighty people with lighted wands after me.'

Lily stroked his shoulder reassuringly.

'I'm tired of always having to keep it a secret, always having to confine everything we do in a curtained room. I don't even like dancing, but I wouldn't mind too much it if I ever got a chance to dance with him.'

Lily had never truly realised how hard it had to be for Remus and Sirius; to be in a relationship, but never be able to show it in fear of rejection. She realised how restricted they were in front of other people, never so much as sitting together in case people saw something off about them. She imagined being like that with James and found it too hard to even think of.

'I understand,' she said softly after a while. She didn't know what else to say.

Sirius laughed bitterly. 'You don't but thanks for trying. Forget it; I'm getting too sentimental in my old age. Where's James?' he asked, abruptly changing the topic.

'He's dancing with my sister.'

Sirius's eyes widened and a familiar mischievous grin spread across his face. 'No way! That hag?'

He stood on his toes, no doubt searching for James.

Lily thwacked him up the head. 'That's my sister you're talking about.'

'Yeah, but you have to admit, Lily. She's a real piece of work.'

Lily huffed.

'Poor, James. Lucky for me, I got you, eh, Evans?' Sirius waggled his eyebrows.

Lily blushed and hit him again. 'Oh hush. Petunia isn't that bad. She can be really nice when she wants to, you know.'

Sirius grinned. 'I'm sure she can, just as I'm sure that you're sendoff is going to be a quiet and peaceful affair.'

'You didn't?'

'You honestly didn't think Sirius Black would leave a party without some kind of explosion, did you?'

'Sirius Black, I'm warning you! If you-'

'Relax, love,' Sirius said, kissing her on the cheek. 'It's just a few fireworks. Made them myself, with a little help from Moony of course.'

Remus, Lily convinced herself, if Remus was involved then there would be nothing to worry about. Things would be relatively risk free. Yes, Remus was a responsible, mature adult, who actually thought Sirius's hideous black bike was the sexiest thing on the planet. Oh, she was doomed.

Lily wouldn't think about it. No, she'd best concentrate on other matters at hand. 'Sirius, about Remus...'

Sirius's handsome face scrunched up in disdain. 'I told you to drop it. It doesn't matter.'

Lily raised a confident eyebrow. 'Even if I told you I had a way to make all those things possible? Even if I said you could not only hold his hand without getting bludgeoned, but could go as far as kissing him in public?'

Sirius twirled her and tipped her back as the song ended, an amused grin gracing his features. 'I'm listening...'

Remus clutched Sirius tightly as the motorbike took another sharp turn to the left. 'Padfoot, I thought we were going home!' he yelled over the roaring sound of the engines. Much to his annoyance, his hair was flapping wildly around his face and kept trying to get into his mouth. 'We just passed by the flat!'

'We will, once I'm done showing you something!' Sirius yelled, not quite looking back. The bike took a sharp dive downwards, plunging towards the earth at a lethal speed.

The first time Sirius had done this, Remus had screamed like a girl. Over a hundred rides later, plummeting to the ground towards certain death felt equal to a pin prick. The stunt was just a part of the thrill for Sirius, and the novelty of a new flying charm would probably wear off with time or

so Remus hoped. Besides, though he would never admit it, Remus somewhat enjoyed the bike rides; there was a certain excitement to flying on a bike that he'd never felt with a broom; the thrum of the engines beneath his thighs and the risk of being caught by anyone who so much as decided to look up. Also, Sirius's recklessness gave an excellent excuse for Remus to grope him shamelessly.

The bike screeched to a halt, making Remus jerk forwards. 'Is this why you insisted we change back to our muggle clothes? Where are we?'

'I'm not sure myself, but Lily said it would be a block away.'

Beside them, Remus saw a wino staring at them with eyes the size of dinner plates; Sirius wasn't exactly known for his subtlety. Remus tossed a two pound coin to the ground; not that anyone would believe the man's drunken tales of flying motorbikes, but just in case.

'What's a block away?' asked Remus, hurrying to catch up with Sirius, who was now walking in long strides.

Sirius grinned, stopping abruptly. 'That.' He pointed upwards.

Remus felt his jaw drop. 'Queens of London?' he asked incredulously, reading the enormous neon red sign but not quite believing it. 'You must be joking.' The O flashed on and off across Remus's face, making it look comical. Not that Remus could bring himself to care; he was too busy looking at the rather hideous yellow crown on top of the Q.

'Isn't it fantastic?' asked Sirius gleefully, swinging an arm around Remus's shoulder and pulling him closer.

Remus wasn't too sure about Sirius's definition of fantastic. 'It can't be...is it?' The two men walking out of the tinted glass door in a passionate lip lock was all the confirmation Remus needed. 'Blimey!'

'Come on, let's go in!'

Remus didn't have a chance to protest as Sirius bodily dragged him through the inside.

Men: that was the first thing Remus noticed. Scores of men. Men holding hands, men kissing, men flirting with each other, men dancing; it was full blown testosterone. Aside from that, however, Remus noticed that the bar was not so different from the ones they usually went to. He wasn't sure what he was expecting exactly, but the quaint and modest setting had admittedly shocked him a little. There were a row of chairs and tables at the back; a bar to their right; and a platform to their left where a humble crowd was dancing to the band's soulful music.

'Wow,' Sirius said breathily and Remus couldn't help but agree.

'How did Lily know of this place again?' Remus asked, unable to take his eyes of the two men at the corner table sitting close, as if on a date.

'You don't want to know.' Sirius held Remus's hand in his, looking around cautiously, testing the waters. 'Come on,' he said finally, beaming when Remus's hands tightened around his. 'I love this song!'

Sirius dragged Remus to the front to get a better view of the band that called themselves 'The Lazy Layabouts' – obviously one of those muggle bands that covered famous songs. Remus would recognise the opening anywhere; he'd bought the record for Sirius after all, and they'd been

listening to it every morning until both of them would actually end up singing word for word while making breakfast.

'LONDON CALLING!' Sirius screamed more than sang, pulling Remus against him, so that every inch of their bodies touched. 'TO THE FARAWAY TOWNS! NOW WAR IS DECLARED-'

Remus couldn't help but grin, as many others joined in, dancing wildly and in Sirius's case, practically jumping on the balls of his feet.

'Come on, Moony! You love this song!' Sirius yelled into his ear, eyes bright and brilliant, and hair flying all over the place.

'THE ICE AGE IS ROLLING, THE SUN ZOOMING IN! MELTDOWN EXPECTED-'

'Oh, this is fan-bloody-tastic!' Sirius cried, as Remus couldn't help but sing along. 'Oh wait, wait... here comes our favourite part...' Sirius grinned, waiting for the last line of the chorus to come, before both of them screamed out together, 'CAUSE LONDON IS DROWNIN' AND I, LIVE BY THE RIVER!"

Both of them burst out laughing, clutching each other for support, tears of mirth pooling around their eyes. None of them exactly why either of them were laughing so hard, just that it was the most relief and joy they'd felt in a very long time. It felt like finally being let of a cage; the bubble of happiness that had settled within them since they'd heard about James and Lily's wedding swelling and filling them throughout.

'Merlin,' Sirius panted out, clutching the stitch on his side.

Somehow, both of them had ended up with their arms around each other; Remus's arms around Sirius's shoulder, while Sirius's around Remus's waist.

Sirius rested his head against Remus's collar bone, still chuckling a bit. 'I've wanted to do this for ages, Moony; can you believe...can you believe this is actually happening? That no one actually cares? Look at these people...they're-'

'It's brilliant,' Remus agreed, unconsciously swaying to the music. He hadn't even realised the music had slowed down to a still upbeat but more mellow tune. It wasn't a song Remus recognised, and he also realised that they were dancing a lot slower than they were supposed to.

Sirius hummed against his neck, snuffling a bit. 'Bloody ace. We'll have to get Lily something really good this Christmas for this...'

'Yeah,' Remus said, not really concentrating on much except the feel of Sirius in his arms and the way their bodies moved slowly against each other in perfect harmony.

'Just us now...you and I...and everyone here knows...' Sirius whispered, his hand around Remus's waist tightening possessively. 'You're mine, promise me that.'

Remus looked up into Sirius's deep grey eyes, smiling wickedly as an idea formed in his mind. 'I, Remus Lupin,' he started.

'And I, Sirius Black,' Sirius continued, grinning as he joined in the game. 'Promise to take you as my best friend and fellow Marauder.'

'Lover and wonderful roommate.'

Remus smirked. 'To pick you up every time you fall.'

'And never laugh at your misfortune while doing so.' Sirius dodged Remus's playful punch. 'Also, to always support you in all your endeavours.'

'Even if it involves flying motorbikes and me ending up dead.'

'I'd never let anything happen to you, Moony,' Sirius replied sincerely, holding Remus close to him.

Remus's fingers stroked the ends of Sirius's hair and neck. 'To try and not burn the toast every morning.'

'And to throw out the garbage every other day, and maybe even do the laundry...maybe.' Sirius emphasised when he saw Remus beaming. 'Oh, and have sex at least once a day...let's not forget that important bit.'

Remus laughed quietly. 'But most of all, I promise to love you...' Sirius smiled. 'For better or for worse...'

'For richer, for poorer...'

'In sickness and in health...'

'From this day forward, till death do us part,' Remus whispered the last bit, feeling unbearably naked as their moment of fun turned into something a lot more intimate. It hadn't meant to go this far, but Remus's heart was beating rapidly as Sirius gazed at him with all the love in the world.

'And the after life reunite us again,' Sirius finished softly.

They were glued together now; hips, shoulder, thighs, arms; looking completely inseparable as Remus buried his face into Sirius's neck and laughed. 'God, we're so queer,' he said, still unable to believe how the night's even were turning out for them.

'Hm...we are...but we forgot the most important part.'

Remus looked up questioningly. 'We have?'

'Yeah,' Sirius said quietly, before capturing Remus's lips in a soft kiss.

next chapter

September, 1979

'Remus?'

Remus shifted his overstuffed rucksack to the other shoulder. 'Hello, mum.' 'What brings you here?' she asked, smiling as he kissed her on the cheek. 'Didn't you get my letter? I'm going to stay over for the weekend.'

For a minute, it seemed as if his mother's smile faltered, her expression changing from disappointment to confusion. 'I guess I must have neglected it; it's been so busy at the hospital lately, I just never have the time.'

Remus frowned disapprovingly, following her inside. 'You stress yourself too much.'

As he passed by the living room, Remus noticed the centre table was littered with books and papers, pens still uncapped; she must have been working before he came. Remus vaguely wondered if his mother was getting any sleep at all, she certainly didn't look it. Her pretty petite face now looked more worn and tired; there were deep lines etched at the corner of her eyes and around her mouth, and hints of grey hair peeking through her dark blond hair. She was already dressed in her work clothes – a short grey skirt and a matching coat over a neatly pressed Oxford shirt. However, despite her immaculate hair and dress sense, she looked...shabby...worn out.

'Why don't you go freshen up, Remus, and I'll make tea.'

'Hm, you aren't going to work, are you, mum? I mean, it's a weekend, and I was really hoping we could do something together.'

Del smiled kindly and stroked his cheek. 'I'll have to leave in an hour, baby, but I'll see if I can make it a short day, okay?'

Remus nodded unwillingly, climbing up the stairs two at a time and only stopping to dump his bag in his room before he went into the bathroom. He didn't know why, but the very idea of being home after so long excited him. He loved it here; the Lupin cottage was where he grew up after all. It held all his memories – good and bad.

Nostalgia overcame him as he walked to the sink; he remembered the hard time he would give his parents before every bath, fighting and kicking to avoid getting in to the tub, and then refusing to get out once he was in. He had broken his leg for the first time here, too: he'd been doing some

kind of silly happy dance and slipped on a puddle of water and fell hard. He remembered faking pain after that just to get extra attention from his family.

Remus chuckled to himself and began washing his face. It wasn't until he had reached out for the soap that he'd actually noticed the two sets of toothbrushes – a red one and a green one – and if memory served him right, then the green one was his father's. It sat there beside the red, bristles tilting haphazardly from frequent use. Remus frowned and opened the cabinet, only to find everything the way it had been in the summer before everything had gone wrong. His father's razor; his shaving cream (partly empty); a thin comb and some hair gel; potions and medicines for various magical injuries and illnesses – everything was perfectly placed alongside his mother's things and ready to use. He looked at the towel rack and sure enough, there were two sets neatly folded beside one another.

Remus blinked, confused and a little shocked.

'Baby, are you done? Tea's ready!'

'C-Coming, mum!' Remus yelled back, exiting the bathroom. However, instead of heading back downstairs, he hurried into his parent's bedroom, quickly closing the door behind him before his mother noticed his little switch.

The bedroom was exactly as it had been before Remus had left to live in his own apartment: large bed, twin bedside tables upon which rested twin lamps, a cupboard, a dresser, and a side of the wall decorated with neatly arranged pictures frames.

He walked towards the dresser, heart filling with dread and finally dropping when he saw exactly what he'd been afraid of: nothing had been removed – his father's possessions remained exactly as he had left them. His comb and cologne remained strewn across the wood haphazardly, the cologne bottle still uncapped and half empty probably from evaporation. It was as if his father had been in a hurry and just forgotten to put them back in their proper place.

Remus hurried to the cupboard now, pulling it open with more force than necessary. He couldn't help but let out a choked gasp at what he saw: robes, neatly hung beside his mother's clothes; there was a sleek black muggle suit towards the end, reserved for parties arranged by Del's side of the family; jeans and casual shirts lay on the right, freshly laundered and folded in neat little squares.

'Remus!'

Remus jumped so suddenly that he hit his head hard against the cupboard door. He closed the door hastily, practically running across the room. 'I'm done!' He gave the room one last doleful look before hurrying back downstairs, all the while ignoring the little voice of reason forming at the back of his mind.

'There you go,' Del Lupin said, smiling as she placed his tea and a plate of chocolate biscuits before him. 'Mrs. Smith baked those for you.'

Remus tried to keep his hands from shaking as he drank his tea. 'For me?'

'Mm, she's losing her memory in her old age. She thinks you're still eight and I haven't the heart to correct her.' Del sat down on the seat opposite to him; Remus noticed she hadn't prepared any tea for herself. 'She drops by sometimes asking for you or giving away fresh homemade biscuits. I just tell her you're in school.'

Remus nibbled at the corner of one of the biscuits, suddenly not feeling very hungry despite having

skipped breakfast.

'Remus, is that a bump?'

Remus startled as his mother stood to inspect his forehead. 'It's nothing.' Everything made so much sense now; her haggard appearance, her transformation to a complete workaholic, her avoidance of social gatherings. Why hadn't he noticed any of it before?

'Baby, it's rather large; why don't you let me put something on it to bring the swelling down.'

'I'm fine, mum. I just hit my head on the door, that's all.'

'You should watch where you're going, Remus. It's a bump on the head today, tomorrow it'll be a concussion.' She inspected his head one last time and sat back down on her chair. 'Why didn't you bring Sirius along? He could have kept you company while I went out.'

'He's at work.' Remus replied, swirling the last of his tea and watching the ripples that formed.

'On a weekend?' Del asked, looking shocked and appalled.

Remus shrugged, still not taking his eyes of his tea. 'Weekends don't count anymore, not with Voldemort spreading his forces. Moody's struggling to finish the training program as quickly as he can, so that they can be full fledged Aurors.'

Del tutted. 'Sounds tough.'

Remus nodded. 'It is. Padfoot loves his job, but he hardly ever gets any sleep nowadays.' He looked at his mother pointedly. 'Quite a bit like you, really.'

'Psh,' Del waved off his comment, 'I sleep like a sloth.'

'You don't look it. You look like you've been run over by a bus, actually.'

'Don't be rude, Remus,' Del replied sternly, getting up from her chair and taking the dirty cup and plate to the sink.

Remus sighed, running a nervous hand through his hair. He couldn't shake the images of his father's belongings out of his head. 'Look, mum, I've been thinking...wondering really...if you'd fancy moving in with Padfoot and me. I mean, we've got an entirely spare room to ourselves and-'

'Wouldn't that raise questions?' Del turned on the tap and began washing the plate.

Remus shook his head. 'Nothing we can't explain. I mean, I can say I'm sleeping on the sofa or something. Honestly, mum, it's not a problem-'

'I really don't think Sirius-'

'Sirius loves you, mum, and he adores your cooking. He can't stand mine. It would be really great. You'd have someone to talk to when you-'

'No, Remus,' Del finished firmly, putting the cup and dish back into the cupboard. 'Thank you, but I'm fine here. I love this house, you know that. I can't even imagine leaving it.'

Remus was witness to exactly how much she loved this house today and it would not do. He was not going to sit and watch his mother delusion herself into thinking things were the same. 'Then let the two of us move in here. I mean, there are plenty of rooms here and it would save re-'

'I said no, Remus.' His mother looked at him, eyes suddenly cold and lacking any of the affection she usually reserved for him.

'Why not?' Remus pursued stubbornly.

Del sighed, her hands going up in exasperation. 'It'll be difficult for you to get to work, and I'll always be in the way. What about when the two of you want some privacy?'

'Mum, we're wizards, we can-'

'Just because you're wizards doesn't mean you can conquer the world!' Del cried out angrily.

'I'm just trying to be there for you!' Remus retorted heatedly.

'I didn't ask for anyone to be there for me! I don't need someone babysitting me, especially not my own son.'

Remus's knuckles turned white as he gripped the edges of the table hard. 'You're a wreck, mum! You look like you're about to drop any moment, and I can't see that! I don't want anything happening to you!'

'I'M FINE!' she roared, knocking over the tea pot and sending it smashing to the ground.

Remus repaired the pot with a quick swish of his wand. 'You're not fine, mum! I know you're not because I've seen it! And that's alright, but you've got to understand that he's not coming back! Dad's dead!' He swallowed the rising lump in his throat. 'I hate that he is but it's true, and you need to get over him.'

Del collapsed into the chair next to him. 'I'm trying, Remus. Trust me, I'm trying, but it's difficult with you always coming around here trying to make things better. It's not helping at all. I can't forget him that easily, especially not with you here.'

Remus blinked. 'I-'

'You're always there, Remus, always! Nagging me, taunting me; what do you want from me?'

'I didn't kill him,' Remus said quickly, a sudden fear that his mother might be blaming him for his father's death rising inside him. 'I didn't kill him,' he repeated again, unsure of whom he was trying to convince.

'No, you didn't, he called it upon himself. Always running around to save the world, I don't know what he thought he could do.' Del buried her face in her hands. 'He never bothered listening to me, never even tried to keep himself safe. He was so absorbed with helping Dumbledore and the Order that he never cared to think about what would happen to his own family if he ever got hurt.'

'The Order-'

'The Order!' Del cried out, wiping the tears from her face. 'Ha! What a joke! They matter as much as-'

'They're making a difference!' Remus protested defensively, his hand grabbing hers tightly. 'We're saving dozens of lives every day!'

'None of which are relevant. Your little escapades are only making Voldemort more determined to kill! This is all just a game for him, and you're just fueling his passion for it!'

'That's not true! We're slowing Voldemort down considerably! The resistance is getting stronger! It's only a matter of time before the war is over and we can go back to-'

'Oh shut the fuck up, John! The war's never going to be over, and you know it!'

Remus let go of his mother's hand as if burned. 'I'm not John,' he whispered, staring at her with wide eyes.

Del frowned in confusion. 'What?'

'John,' Remus said softly, trying his hardest to keep his voice from breaking. 'You called me John. I'm not John, I'm Remus.'

His mother's eyes flickered with recognition and guilt. 'Of course you're Remus, that's what I meant to say...'

Remus's hands clenched and unclenched; revelations were being made in his head, things were starting to explain themselves better now that his mother had finally made her little declaration. Del hadn't been avoiding social contact; she'd been avoiding him. She wasn't turning into a workaholic; she was turning into a liar because of him. Hadn't she said that his constant presence was making things harder for her? Hadn't she mentioned that he was always taunting her by being there?

Remus felt his vision blur. 'Mum, is that why you're always avoiding me? Is this why you-'

Del placed a soft hand over his cheek. 'No, Remus, baby, I-'

Remus moved away abruptly so that her hand was left suspended in the air. 'It's because of my face, isn't it? Everyone's always saying how I look exactly like dad. I remind you of him all the time, don't I? Fuck, is that how I'm torturing you? Fuck, fuck, fuck!' He banged the table with his fist, suddenly feeling very angry and sorry for himself. He hated himself for the way his voice cracked with every word and how the corner of his eyes stung. 'I'm sorry, mum...you know, I thought my visits were helping, I really did. I thought maybe you'd actually want to see me before I went to the werewolf mission. Fuck, I don't know, maybe even want to talk to me once in a while.'

'Remus, you're jump-'

Remus stood up from his seat so quickly, he knocked his chair over. 'I should just go. You obviously don't want me here.' He picked up the chair and put in its rightful place. 'I'm sorry, mum, I really am.'

'Remus, listen to me-'

Remus was practically running to the front door now, desperate to just get out of the house. The distance seemed endless. 'I won't come anymore, if that's what you want.' He felt the faint pull of the protection wards he himself had set up sometime ago. 'You won't be seeing me anymore, I promise. I'll get out of your way.'

'Remus, wait!' He disapparated.

Sirius moaned in pain as he fell hard to the ground. He could feel something warm and wet

spreading down the calf of his right leg and knew instinctively that he had hurt himself bad. Shit. 'SIRIUS BLACK!' Moody's voice echoed ominously in the Battle Hall.

'I'm sorry, mate' whispered Fabian Prewett, one of the fighters on the other side and the current reason to Sirius's decrepit state. 'Didn't mean to hit that hard. I wasn't even aiming, you know.'

'IN ALL MY YEARS, I HAVE NEVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING A TRAINEE AS INCOMPETENT AND FOOLISH AS YOU!'

Fabian scurried away to the other side, far away from Moody's wrath.

Sirius groaned, picking himself up and dreading the clunking of Moody's false leg. He swayed a little on his position, trying to balance most of his weight on his uninjured leg. He straightened his back, crossed his hands behind him, and tried his best to look like a healthy, capable Auror instead of a crippled and incredibly idiotic one.

'IF YOU WERE IN AN ACTUAL BATTLEFIELD, BLACK, THE ENEMY WOULD HAVE AVADA KEDAVRA-ED YOU AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES BEFORE YOU EVEN FELL TO THE GROUND!'

Sirius tried not to wince at the shower of spit Moody bestowed upon him with every third syllable. He wasn't going to get angry; he wasn't going to get angry; anger was bad; anger was irrational; anger was going to earn him another torturous year in the academy under Moody's wing.

'DO YOU THINK, BLACK? DO YOU, EVEN FOR A SINGLE MOMENT, USE THAT HEAD OF YOURS TO COMPREHEND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU?'

Sirius tried to concentrate on Moody's crazy blue eye. How many jokes would he and James be able to make upon it? There had to be one at least. One that would keep his mind off the illogical anger that was now bubbling inside of him, and aching to get out so that he could punch Moody's lights out.

'YOU'RE AN AUROR, NOT A STUNTMAN! THIS ISN'T SOME KIND OF CHEAP THRILL OR HOGWARTS ADVENTURE WHERE YOU CAN GO OFF RUSHING TO WHEREVER DANGER IS, YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOU T H I N K BEFORE YOU ACT! YOU HIDE BEFORE YOU FIGHT!'

Everyone had stopped practice to stare at Moody's new victim. The Head Auror's rants were nothing out of the ordinary; Moody had a misfortunate target almost every single day that he picked apart, humiliated, and practically slaughtered in front of the entire staff. However, this was the first time Sirius had been subjected to it. Despite his unprecedented methods, Sirius was, undoubtedly, one of the best auror trainees in the academy. He was brash and instinctive, but he was also a quick learner and a skilled dueler, with a large vocabulary of curses and hexes to bring down his opponent. He had a reputation to keep and that reputation was quickly burning to ashes.

It was embarrassing and aggravating and annoying, and Sirius could feel his face heating up from suppressed emotions. Nonetheless, he would not react; he would not give Moody the satisfaction of having gotten to him.

'SO FOR THE SAKE OF MERLIN, BLACK, NEXT TIME, USE YOUR HEAD! OR GOD FORBID, YOU'LL END UP DEAD WITH PUS BOILS ALL ACROSS YOUR FACE! AM I CLEAR?'

'Crystal,' Sirius replied through gritted teeth and excused himself for the day.

Sirius stopped at the W.C. on the way home, making sure the door was firmly locked and all the cubicles were empty before he let out a scream of rage and frustration and punched the walls with all his strength, ending up not only with a bloody leg, but a good few broken knuckles as well.

'Fuck!'

By the time he'd reached the flat, Sirius's bad mood had escalated to an alarming degree. He banged and kicked almost everything in sight – the door, his motorbike (which was a miracle by itself), a couple of streetlamps – the list was endless. He'd healed his leg and hand but was unfortunately left with a myriad of cuts, bruises and a painfully stubbed toe. None of which helped improve Sirius's mood.

Which was why he was looking forward to having Remus home; Remus always knew how to make Sirius feel better. Remus would say silly, nice things and touch him in just the right way, in all the right places, and watch television with him and make funny comments on Sirius's favourite characters.

So it should have come as no surprise that the only person who could make him feel better right then had left a note saying he was staying over at his mother's for the weekend. It should also have come as no surprise that James and Lily were also conveniently enjoying their honeymoon in Malaysia and wouldn't be coming back for another week and a half. The Gods were against him after all; why should anything go according to him?

So Sirius changed into his muggle clothing, shucked on a leather jacket, and left for the only other place he could think of where he could drown his anger in a sufficient amount of booze. Yes, he went to Queen's; for the first time without Remus.

'Hey, can I buy you a drink?'

Sirius felt someone slide into the seat next to him but didn't bother looking up. Through the corner of his eyes, he could make out mud brown hair and a grotesquely large silver bracelet sitting tightly on a slender arm.

'Knock yourself out,' Sirius muttered under his breath, chugging down the last of his beer.

'What'll you have?' the man asked, sliding closer to Sirius and lowering his voice like he was sharing some phenomenal secret.

'Shot of whisky and some rat poison, thank you.'

'Hey, what could have possibly happened to a gorgeous thing like you to swallow poison, eh?' the man asked, fingering the ends of Sirius's hair and twirling it between his thumb and forefinger.

Sirius swatted him away irritably. 'The poison's for you, you stupid motherfucker.' Only then did he turn towards the man, glaring at him dangerously.

The man was good looking, no doubt about it, but he had that sleazy, aggravating smile on his face that only served to fuel Sirius's bad mood. 'Sharp,' the man replied, unhindered. 'I like that. I'm Adam Harrison, by the way. Who are you then?'

Harrison's dark eyes roamed across Sirius's body as if trying to see through his clothes, and Sirius noticed that the hand that he'd stuck out for a handshake was inching closer to his chest. Sirius scowled, grabbed Harrison's hand and squeezed it tight enough to hurt.

'I'm not interested,' Sirius replied angrily, twisting Harrison's hand until he pulled away from Sirius

forcefully.

'Temperamental little fellow, aren't you?' Harrison chuckled. 'Admirable quality; makes the pursuit a lot more exciting.'

Sirius grabbed his drink directly off the barman's tray. 'What part of "fuck off" did you not understand?' This man...Harrison...he was really testing Sirius's patience...even more than Moody. It was only a matter of time before he got beaten into a bloody pulp, and Sirius hoped Harrison came to his senses before that. He didn't really fancy being thrown out of the bar, nor was he in the mood to clean off copious amounts of blood from his hands.

'Okay, so you're a bit grouchy. Look, I know a perfect place we can go to; it's only a few blocks from here.' Harrison leant invasively close and put a hand on Sirius's thigh, rubbing lightly with his thumb. 'I could do something about that mood of yours, what do you say?'

Sirius was going to punch the bloke, blood be damned, when he felt a restraining hand on his shoulder.

'I'd say I don't appreciate you trying to molest my lover.'

Sirius knew that voice anywhere and turned around so quick that he hit his elbow against the table. 'Moony!' he cried in surprise. He rubbed his elbow, suddenly feeling ridiculously happy.

Remus smiled, shifting his hand from Sirius's shoulder to the small of his back. 'Hello, Padfoot.' He looked at Harrison, who was gaping at Remus with an expression of shock and jealousy. 'I hope you don't mind but there aren't any empty seats near by,' Remus said, his tone sounding oddly protective as he gestured to the occupied stools around them.

'You?' Harrison exclaimed, laughing incredulously as he eyed Remus's ordinary and tired form. 'With him? You must be joking!'

Sirius glowered at him, grabbing Remus by his shirt collar defiantly and crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss. He kept his eyes open, making sure Harrison saw as Sirius invaded Remus's mouth with his tounge and nibbled on his bottom lip. Sirius smirked triumphantly when Harrison made a vaguely disgusted face and walked away with a muttered 'whatever'.

'What are you doing here?' Sirius asked, breathless after they'd finally parted. He knew Harrison was still looking, could feel those penetrating eyes on him, and gave Remus's lower lip an extra lick.

Remus drank from Sirius's unfinished glass, completely oblivious to Harrison's stares across the room. 'Same as you, I guess. Just fancied a drink.' He reached out to run a hand through Sirius's hair, combing it back neatly with his fingers. 'Bad day?' he asked affectionately.

'Hm...' Sirius nodded, moving in closer to Remus to wrap his arms around him and pressing his face into the crook of his neck. 'Moody was just ghastly.' This was what he had wanted the whole day: just some Moony Comfort.

'You nearly killed the bloke, you know.'

'He deserved it,' replied Sirius, annoyed that Remus had brought up that horrible person during an intimate moment. 'He tried to grope me, did you see?'

Remus chuckled, kissing the crown of Sirius's head. 'I saw. He chose the wrong day to hit on you, poor sod.'

'Don't be sympathetic with that perverted piece of shit, Moony. You should be insanely jealous and furious. He would have done unspeakable things to me if you hadn't come along to my rescue.'

Remus laughed loudly, his chest shaking beneath Sirius's ear. 'You seemed to be handling the situation pretty well on your own, really.'

Sirius sniffed disapprovingly. 'I thought you were staying at your mother's. Did you miss me, Moony? You could no longer bear staying away from me and had a change of heart, didn't you?'

Sirius felt Remus's entire body tighten at the mention of his mother and immediately knew something was wrong. He looked up and saw the werewolf's usually bright amber eyes darken slightly. 'Moony? What's wrong?'

Remus shook his head. 'Nothing,' he replied unconvincingly. 'Come on, let's dance.'

Sirius let Remus drag him to the dance floor without protest. He thought he should ask what the matter was, or if everything was perhaps all right, but figured Remus would tell him anyway if the matter was anything serious.

'I'm coming, I'm coming! Don't wet yourself!' Sirius grouched as the bell rang for the fourth time. The lock clicked, and he swung the door open to reveal the last person he thought of seeing at nine PM. 'Mrs. Lupin?'

Delilah Lupin smiled weakly. 'Hello, Sirius. Is Remus home?'

Sirius shook his head, frowning slightly in confusion. 'No, he doesn't come home till ten. That's when the shop closes.'

Mrs. Lupin looked strangely distraught. 'Oh, I-ah-came to give him his bag back. He forgot it yesterday at the cottage.'

Sirius noticed the familiar red duffle bag clutched tightly in her hands. 'Well, if you can wait for an hour or so, you can give it to him yourself. I think he'd like that better; Remus is always complaining about how you never come to visit anymore.'

Mrs. Lupin smiled kindly, walking in as Sirius held out the door for her. 'Thank you, love. I didn't expect to find you here; Remus told me you worked overtime as well...'

Sirius nodded, moving away scattered paper and clothes from the sofa to make space for Remus's mother to sit; he switched off the telly. 'I do...I have an exam tomorrow, so they gave me half a day off to study for it. I'm sorry we don't have any tea, Mrs. Lupin. Is beer okay?'

'I don't want anything to drink, Sirius, but I was hoping I could talk to you.' Del grasped his hand tightly, effectively stopping him from going into the kitchen. 'It's about my son.'

Sirius's eyebrows shot up. 'About Remus?'

'I know you're busy, so I won't take up much of your time. Please sit down.'

Sirius obliged, sitting on the arm of the sofa beside her. 'Is it anything important? Is something wrong?'

'Depends on how you see it,' Del replied, 'You see, Remus and I, we had a bit of a disagreement

yesterday.'

'Ah.' That would explain the werewolf's behaviour last night. Remus had been a little distant at the bar and positively needy when they were making love back home. 'He did seem a bit off, but he didn't say anything, so I assumed it wasn't anything too important...'

Del pinched the bridge of her nose in agitation. 'I-I really upset him yesterday. I didn't mean to, but I wasn't thinking...I just got so carried away with the argument, and I completely lost control. I don't even know when...but I called him John.'

Sirius's eyes widened. 'John?'

'It just slipped out, and he didn't even give me a chance to apologise or explain. He just stormed off saying he'd move out of my life forever.'

Sirius frowned, brows furrowing. 'That doesn't sound like Moony.'

Del sighed. 'No, it's exactly like him because he's just like his father. His father used to become just as melodramatic when it came to family. I won't lie to you, Sirius, Remus reminds me of John a lot. He thinks it's just the way he looks, but everything he says and does is a mirror image of his father. He makes the same mistakes, has the same delusional ideals; it's like watching history repeat itself.'

'I'm not sure I understand.'

Del leaned back against the couch, her legs crossing in front of her. 'The fight we had yesterday...it was the exact same one I had with John on a regular basis. God, you should have heard him; it was like the two of them had rehearsed the speech together for moments like this. I completely lost my mind half way through; the name just slipped out, you understand.'

Sirius didn't understand, not much anyway, but he couldn't deny that Remus was heavily influenced by his father. Perhaps it was easy to get confused between the two of them in a fit of anger? It was plausible. 'I'll talk to him if you like, Mrs. Lupin, explain things to him. Remus always listens to me.'

'Yes, he does,' Del replied a little sadly, 'more than anyone else. He loves you a lot, Sirius,' she finished, squeezing his hand between hers.

Sirius felt heat rising in his cheeks.

'And that's why I need you to talk to him about quitting the Order.'

Sirius sprang off the sofa so quick, he startled Remus's mother. 'Quitting the Order? No! Absolutely not! I'm sorry, Mrs. Lupin, but I can't do that! The Order needs as many members as it can get and-'

'Please understand, Sirius, Remus is my only child, my baby, and the only family I have left. I cannot see him hurt.'

'You should be proud of him, Mrs. Lupin! He's a valuable asset to the war-'

'The war be damned! Let me be clear on this, Sirius, I will not bury my son; my son will

bury me! Do you understand that?'

Sirius felt anger rising at her ignorance. He understood her concern; hell, he didn't want anyone to

get hurt fighting either, but didn't she understand that Remus was fighting for her? That she was a muggle and the primary target for Voldemort?

'Remus isn't going to die, Mrs. Lupin,' Sirius replied through gritted teeth. 'The Order always works in pairs to ensure maximum safety of its members.'

Del snorted derisively. 'Really? Then tell me, is the Order sending anyone to go with him to the werewolf mission? Do you have anyone else like him to ensure his maximum safety?'

'What?' What was she talking about? What werewolf mission?

Remus mother laughed bitterly, sounding slightly maniacal. 'I mean, John had told me about it before of course, but I never thought that Dumbledore would actually send a child to do something this dangerous. I mean, he's only just graduated out of Hogwarts and-'

Sirius grabbed her by the shoulders, stopping her rant temporarily. 'Wait, Mrs. Lupin, you're not making any sense. Exactly what the hell are you talking about? What did Dumbledore ask Remus to do?'

'Don't try to make a fool of me, Sirius Black!' Del replied scathingly. 'I know Dumbledore's planning to send my son to recruit werewolves!'

When Remus finally arrived home, Sirius was sitting on the sofa surrounded by newspapers dating back to the first of April. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it coming; the papers were filled with articles about werewolves claiming their allegiance to Lord Voldemort; werewolf attacks increasing in various areas; werewolf regulations getting tighter to protect common citizens. Had Remus read all of this and kept quiet anyway? Had he even thought of Sirius when he'd agreed on mission?

'Well, well, never thought I'd see the great Sirius Black studying,' Remus said, wrapping his arms around Sirius's neck from behind and kissing him chastely on the cheek.

'Food's on the counter,' Sirius said gruffly, putting the latest edition of the Daily Prophet down on the coffee table.

Remus smiled serenely. 'Not hungry...ate at the shop... I think I might actually last with this one, Padfoot; the animals have taken a preference to me. Hey, where are you going?' he cried out in surprise, as Sirius pushed Remus's hands off him and got off the sofa.

'Out,' Sirius replied shortly, summoning his jacket and keys. 'But I just came home!'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'So what?'

'Hey, hey, come here.' Remus grabbed Sirius by the wrists and pulled him closer. 'What's got you in such a rotten mood, eh?' His hold tightened when Sirius struggled to move out of his grip. 'Hey, come on, tell me. Is Moody still being harsh with you?'

Sirius stilled but jerked his hands away. 'Your mother came today to drop your bag off.' 'Oh.'

Sirius snorted at the stupefied expression of Remus's face. 'Yeah, oh. Did you ever plan on telling me?'

Remus shrugged. 'I didn't know how to. I mean, you were really down last night, so I didn't have the heart to tell you; then morning came, and I just forgot.'

Sirius felt hot burning rage filling his mind, and he clenched his fists tightly, barely suppressing the urge to hit Remus. 'Oh, so you just convenientlyforgot that your mother doesn't want anything to do with you anymore. You just forgot that she no longer wants to see you; that she never actually wanted to see you in the first place; that your presence itself was like torture to her; that-'

'Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, okay!' Remus cried out, hands over his ears as if he could actually block out Sirius's words.

Sirius laughed harshly. 'Remember much?'

Remus kicked the coffee table. 'Fuck you!'

Sirius noticed the unnatural shine in Remus's eyes and took sadistic pleasure in it. He knew he was being cruel, and he reveled in it. Remus deserved this. Remus deserved this for lying to Sirius; for betraying Sirius's trust; for thinking he could get away with this.

'Guess what else she told me?' Sirius continued, paying no heed to the look of utter pain in Remus's face. 'No, guess, just guess; she told me you were going to go cavorting off to some werewolf colony and play peacemaker. Fan-bloody-tastic, isn't it?'

Remus's mouth dropped open. 'H-How did she-? No one's supposed to-'

'Know? Not even your sodding best friends?' Sirius asked angrily, fisting Remus's shirt and shaking him vigorously. 'Not even the guy you fuck on a daily basis?'

'I just thought-'

'What, Remus?' Sirius seethed, shaking the werewolf with every word. 'What could you have possibly thought? What could have possibly gone through that bloody brain of yours for you not to trust me with something like this!'

'It's not that I don't trust you,' Remus protested, placing his hands over Sirius's. 'I-I just...I don't know why...I just didn't think it was important.'

Sirius could barely speak through his anger. 'You just-'

'Look, Sirius...Padfoot...what good would it have done to know about it?' Remus slowly pried Sirius's fingers off his shirt. 'You're just going to have to sit at home helpless and worried about me until I come back...if I come back. I have to go alone in this, you know. If something happens, then that's it.' He looked directly at Sirius, looking more determined than confident. 'It's not like you can come to my rescue or anything. If I die-'

This time, Sirius did punch Remus, hard in the face. 'I hate you, Remus,' he spat out, breathing heavily. 'Sometimes, I hate you so much.' He glared at Remus who was now holding a cupped hand to his bleeding lip. 'Fuck this, I'm out of here.'

'NO!' Remus cried out, grabbing Sirius by the shoulders. 'No, Sirius, please!'

'You don't have anything I want to hear, Remus' Sirius replied coldly, shrugging Remus's hands off.

Sirius was angry, he was angry and he wanted to hurt Remus bad. He wanted to make Remus beg, cry, grovel, anything to make him feel the pain and the hurt Sirius was feeling. It was a common knowledge to the Marauders that even though Remus's material fear was the full moon, his greatest fear was being left alone. Remus feared not having any friends or family to lean back on; Remus would do anything and be anything to keep the little love he received from people. Sirius knew this, and he used it maliciously.

'You can do whatever you feel like, Remus. I can't bring myself to care anymore. Not like its important, right?'

'No, listen, I'm sorry, okay! I'm really sorry! I'm a complete and utter arse. I've been fucking things up with everyone, lately, and I'm sorry. I'm stupid, I know.' Remus reached out for Sirius's hand again and this time, Sirius didn't push him off. 'I've been a git to you and everyone else. I'm a horrid person, an absolute bastard, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you. Look, be as angry as you want, but stay home, please?'

Sirius sighed, surrendering to the desperate plea in Remus's voice. He could never be truly mean to Remus for very long; it just made him feel like a heel. 'You aren't that bad.'

Remus smiled weakly. 'I feel it. I know I should have told you, I'm sorry. I don't know-'

Sirius cut him off with a hand and flopped down on the couch heavily. Remus remained standing. 'Save it. Just don't do it again, okay? I hate being lied to, you know that; my parents constantly lied to me about everything, so that they could manipulate and use me. I hate that feeling.'

'I would never-'

'When are you going?' Sirius asked, not letting Remus finish. He didn't mean to sound so unsympathetic, but his voice seemed to just come out that way.

'Christmas,' Remus replied, looking helplessly at the floor.

Sirius lay on his back, propping his head against a cushion. 'Great, just great! That Dumbledore can be a real-'

'He was very kind about it,' Remus protested, looking at Sirius a little guiltily. 'He offered me a choice; he informed me of the risks, I volunteered.'

Sirius grunted, looking up at the ceiling. 'I wouldn't have expected anything less of you.' 'Are you still angry?' Remus asked in a small voice.

'A little, yes.'

'Sorry,' Remus finished, not quite looking up.

Sirius shifted his gaze back to Remus and found his anger quickly melting at the forlorn and distraught expression on his lover's face. He sighed heavily; it was impossible to stay angry at Remus when he looked like that. Perhaps Sirius had been a bit too harsh on him; after all, Remus hadn't meant any harm, he was just doing what he thought was best for everyone. Sirius shouldn't have said all those things to Remus, especially not after the ordeal with his mother.

'Hey, come here,' Sirius called, giving his hand for Remus to take as the werewolf walked closer and sat down beside his head. 'Does it hurt?' Sirius asked, reaching out to wipe away the blood from the small cut on Remus's lip.

Remus smiled weakly and shook his head. 'I deserved it.'

'No, you didn't.' Sirius pulled Remus down, so that they lay next to each other, face to face, heads resting on a too small cushion. 'I care about you, Moony, a lot.'

One of Remus's arms wrapped around Sirius's waist, while the other circled around his neck. 'I know,' Remus whispered, burying his face in Sirius's shoulder and snuggling deep, seeking comfort.

'Look, I don't know why I feel this way about you, okay? I don't know why, but it is important to me where you go, even if I can't help. I just-I can't explain it, but-' Sirius stopped when he noticed Remus hands fisting in his t-shirt and his breathing come out in heavy gasps against Sirius's skin. 'Hey.' Sirius hated it when his lover was distressed, especially if he was the reason for it. 'Hey,' Sirius repeated, putting a hand at the small of Remus's back to catch his attention. 'I love you.' He kissed the brunette's forehead, his eyes, his cheeks and finally, his lips, lingering only for a little while before separating.

'Padfoot?'

'Hm?'

Remus bit his lip uncertainly. 'Is mum alright? I mean, did she ask of me at all?' Sirius breathed deeply. 'Look, about that...'

Remus's mouth, as Sirius understood it, needed a shrine to be worshipped in, because Remus's mouth was a thing of epic proportions. His lips...Oh,God...his lips, so soft and pliant, thin but talented, as it kissed every inch of his body slowly, tantalisingly, giving special attention to the insides of Sirius's thighs and belly. His teeth were small and sharp as they bit into Sirius's neck, his nipples, his stomach, his thighs, not breaking the skin but applying the pressure just right, so that with every feel of teeth, Sirius panted and gasped and moaned loudly. Then there was his tounge...oh, how Sirius loved Remus's tounge...that left slick glistening trails across his body, dipping and sucking in just the right places and then, finally making Sirius's head explode as it traveled lower and stayed there.

Sirius tangled his hands in Remus's hair, arching his back wantonly. He was barely restraining himself from pushing in deeper. 'Fuck, Moony...' He was close, so damn close.

BANG!

Both Remus and Sirius startled to a stop, Remus's mouth still attached to Sirius erection in a comical 'o', and Sirius's hand already scrabbling in search of his wand.

'PADFOOT!'

Sirius groaned, letting his head fall back against the headboard and his hands travel across Remus's shoulders and back. 'Prongs,' he growled out, 'I'll kill him, I swear to Merlin, I'll-' He moaned in frustration at the loss of Remus's mouth.

'MOONY!'

'I thought he wasn't supposed to be coming back till tomorrow,' Remus said, wiping his mouth with

the back of his hand as he sat up.

Sirius watched Remus hungrily, admiring the way collected sweat shone across his chest and neck; the way his hair remained deliciously tousled from Sirius's fingers constantly tugging at them; the way his cheeks were tinged slightly pink from exertion and arousal. Sirius wanted to eat him whole.

'GUYS, HELP!'

'We should go see what's wrong,' Remus sighed dejectedly, getting up.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the wrist and pulled him back into the bed. 'Let him suffer for a while. We've got a problem of our own to solve,' he finished huskily, brushing his hips against Remus's, making it clear exactly what sort of problem needed to be solved. 'If we're quiet enough, he'll think we're not home and go away.'

'SIRIUS!'

'He sounds really upset,' protested Remus against the attack of Sirius's lips and teeth on his neck.

'We should –ah- at least go see what's wrong.'

'Fine,' Sirius huffed. 'Fine. But if it's something stupid, I'm throttling him, and you can't stop me.'

Remus chuckled, already picking up a pair of trousers he'd discarded in frenzy. Sirius would have rather just gone naked but reluctantly pulled on his boxers for the sake of decency.

'OI, COME ON YOU GUYS, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT!'

Just before Remus reached for the door handle, Sirius pulled him into a fervent kiss, delving his tounge deep into his mouth and rubbing against his body, making sure Remus got his message loud and clear. Remus laughed into the kiss and broke away.

'I'll make it worth your while,' Remus whispered into Sirius's ears, giving his crotch a generous squeeze before walking out.

'Tease,' Sirius muttered affectionately.

'WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?' James cried out the minute he saw them, whirling on the balls of his feet and knocking over their table lamp in the process.

Remus caught it just before it smashed to the ground. 'Sleeping, Prongs. In case you haven't noticed, it's seven in the morning. So unless you want the neighbours to report you for sexual assault, I'd advise you to keep your voice down.'

James's mouth snapped shut abruptly.

Sirius winked at Remus, clapping him encouragingly on the back.

'So, how come you're back early, Prongs?' Remus asked, sitting down calmly on the sofa.

James sat beside him, hands clutching at his dark hair. 'I'm in deep shit, you guys. I mean, really, really deep.'

'Care to elaborate?' Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest. James truly looked miserable, but Sirius's own predicament was making him a tad unsympathetic.

'Lily's been really sick for the past few days,' James said wretchedly, 'so I took her to the Healer after she threw up for the fourth time. I got the examination results back today.'

Sirius and Remus looked at each other fearfully, and Sirius put a sympathetic hand on James's shoulder, squeezing perhaps a little too hard in worry. 'Is she all right? What's wrong?'

'She's pregnant.'

There was a small pause where both Remus and Sirius stared at each other in shock, taking in the unexpected information while James buried his face in his hands. Suddenly, Sirius let out a loud 'whoop', and Remus's face broke into a large, infectious grin.

'Congratulations!'

'This isn't good news, you two,' James cried out.

'How can it not be good news, Prongs, my wonderful mate?' Sirius exclaimed, pulling Remus up by the hands and doing an uncoordinated jig before tipping him gracefully. 'We're going to be uncles, Moony! Uncles! To a darling little sprog! And I have dibs over the godfather position!'

'NO!' James shot up angrily. 'This wasn't supposed to happen!'

Sirius and Remus frowned.

'You sound regretful James,' Sirius said, his tone low and dangerous, brows furrowed.

'Fuck!' James banged his fist on the arm of the sofa. 'Don't you guys see the problem here? We're only nineteen, we've barely been married for a month and already, we're having kids! We're too young!'

'My mother had me when she was sixteen, you know, and dad was only a few years older,' Remus said encouragingly. 'And things turned out fine for me.'

James pulled at his hair in frustration. 'This is a mistake, Moony, there's a war going on. Lily and I are constantly busy with work or the Order; how are we supposed to raise a child in this hell hole? I can't be responsible for another life!'

'Oh shut up, Prongs!' Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 'Moony and I are here to help whenever you want it, you know that. You just watch, you guys will make great parents!'

'The war-'

'There'll always be a war. You don't see Molly Weasley putting a halt to it, do you? What, she's on her seventh kid now?'

'Sixth one, still coming,' Remus corrected. 'You'll be a great dad, Prongs, if that's what you're worried about.'

James groaned, sprawling on the couch dejectedly. 'I won't. I'll break it, and corrupt it, and teach it all the wrong things. My kid's going to end up drunk and unemployed, and it'll curse me for the rest of its miserable life.'

Sirius roared with laughter, causing James to wail even louder. Remus kicked Sirius in the shins to make him shut up and put a sympathetic arm around his bespectacled friend. 'You'll be fine, Prongs,' he said reassuringly.

'Yeah, you've got Lily Flower to make up for your idiocy,' Sirius replied, rubbing his shin and sticking tounge out at Remus.

Remus kicked him again for good measure.

'Ow! You bastard! That hurt!'

Remus showed Sirius the finger. 'So are you keeping it, the kid, I mean?'

James chuckled at Remus and Sirius's antics. 'I want to, but-' He looked at the pair of them uncertainly. 'It can't be that bad, right? I mean, I lived with Padfoot half my life, and well...the rest is self explanatory.'

'Oh yes, gang up on me now,' Sirius replied grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest on a mock huff. 'Everyone molest poor ol', helplessly adorable Padfoot. Like he doesn't have enough problems to deal with already. What with his insane family, slave driving boss, and traitorous lover.'

'Don't use the sympathy card, Padfoot,' said James, his usual cheeky smile back on his face again. 'It doesn't suit you.'

'Yeah,' Remus mock glowered. 'That's my specialty.'

Sirius hmph-ed. 'Where's Lily anyway? Need to congratulate her on her pathway to motherhood, or is she going through the same complex as you?'

James smiled. 'I haven't told her yet. She was at the spa when I went to the hospital, and then I just did the first thing that came to mind: I apparated here.'

Remus shook his head, smiling. 'You are insane, Prongs, you know that?'

James grinned unabashedly. 'Thanks by the way, both of you,' he said gratefully, wrapping his arms around Remus and Sirius and pulling them into a hug so tight that their heads knocked together. 'I guess I just panicked a little.'

'A little?' Remus snorted, rubbing his head.

James cuffed him. 'Look, do me a favour, don't tell Lily about this conversation, okay? I want to tell her the good news myself. This little anxiety attack of mine never happened, you get that?'

Sirius smirked. 'What anxiety attack?'

'James, honey, can you get the wine, please?' Lily called out as she cleared away the dishes with a wave of her wand.

Lily had invited Peter, Sirius, and Remus over to the flat for dinner. God knows those boys needed it, most of all Remus and Sirius, who seemed to look thinner with every visit. She didn't blame them really; she'd tasted Remus's cooking and it wasn't exactly the most delectable thing in the world. The boy could go as far as tea and a couple of ham sandwiches but beyond that, he was quite hopeless. Sirius? She didn't even want to get into the culinary skills of the Great Sirius Black.

'What's the occasion, Lily?' Peter asked, holding out his glass as James generously poured the wine.

'Well,' Lily paused, looking at James with undying affection. 'James and I have some good news to share.'

James nodded, sitting down and taking her hand under the table. She suddenly felt inexplicably happy; in fact, she'd been feeling this way ever since the two of them had found out. Lily had known what had happened even before James had taken her to the hospital; she wasn't as clueless as she acted out to be. But she had been incredibly afraid of her husband's reaction; she was almost sure James would freak out; protest against it; maybe even get melodramatic enough to cry. She'd been quite surprised, to say the least, when James had come back to their hotel room, tests results in hand, beaming brighter than a neon bulb.

'Well, are you going to tell us, or what?' Peter asked, shifting to the edge of his seat in eagerness.

Remus and Sirius simply looked at each other, then at her and James, and smiled. Lily hoped to God they weren't up to something. Could Sirius have put something in their drinks?

Lily looked at the clear water in her glass, wishing she could have some wine herself as she cleared her throat nervously. 'Well, James and I are having a baby.'

Peter's mouth fell open in shock.

'Congratulations!' Sirius and Remus chorused together.

'How wonderful!' Remus exclaimed, clapping his hands uncharacteristically.

'Indeed, I'm so pleasantly surprised! I'd have never expected it!' Sirius continued, his eyes wide and hand over his mouth.

'A baby, can you believe it, Padfoot?' Remus asked, wrapping an arm around Sirius's shoulders and resting his head there.

'Of course not, Moony!' Sirius looked appalled. 'I mean, I never even thought about it before today! How could I have? We just got the fantastic news!'

Lily frowned, sniffing the bottle of wine suspiciously. Beside her, she thought she heard her husband mutter 'overkill', but it was probably just her imagination. Maybe the pregnancy was taking a toll on her?

another chapter

December, 1979

Remus sighed as another Order meeting ended, looking longingly at all the Marauders who were currently discussing the next mission with their assigned partners. Remus hadn't been given one because he already had a werewolf mission on his shoulders; a mission that Dumbledore had requested Remus carry out tomorrow night – a week prior to what was previously planned.

It was going to be difficult explaining to Sirius that Remus was not only going to miss Christmas but a large part of the December month as well; which also meant that Sirius would have to be alone in the festivities for over a week. Sirius was, in fact, going to hate it, bitch about it and though he would concede in the end, he was going to refuse to talk to Remus for the remainder of the night. Not something Remus was particularly looking forward to.

Perhaps tonight was a good time to put James and Lily's idea to use? It would be a little earlier than Remus had initially planned it, but it would definitely make Sirius happy. Maybe even mark something significant in their relationship though Remus doubted it. Still, the look of utter shock on Sirius's face would be priceless when Remus told him the sudden change in plans tonight.

'You got a beautiful smile.'

Remus snapped back to the present to see a young boy, no older than sixteen, looking up at him. Remus had only seen him today in the meeting and assumed it was one of the member's son or younger sibling. Although, now that he thought about it, no one quite looked or dressed like the boy.

The child had wild, platinum blond curls that reached slightly past his ears, eyes so dark a shade of green that they looked nearly black, and a permanent blush across both cheeks under smudges of what Remus could only assume was dirt. Although he lacked the conventional good looks that Sirius or James had, there was a boyish quality about him that made him attractive. Remus figured that the boy's parents weren't too well off by the flimsy jacket he wore over his green jumper, striped red scarf, and boots that were already fraying at the toes – hardly the right attire for such harsh and cold weather.

'I'm sorry?'

The boy's face broke into a grin, eyes dancing with delight. 'You was smilin' righ' now; looks bloody gorgeous.'

Cockney, Remus realised once he'd gotten over the unusual compliment and stopped blinking like

a moron. 'I...er...thank you, I suppose.'

'You're Remus, aren' you? I 'eard the bloke with the glasses talkin' 'bout you. I'm Elphias Dodge, by the way, but everyone calls me Elf,' he said all of this very quick, as if competing with the speed of light and vigourously stuck out his hand for a shake.

Remus, completely speechless, shook Dodge's hand more out of instinctual good manners than amicability.

'I'm new 'ere. Odd though, feels like I's seen you somewhere. I ne'er forget a pretty face, you know.' Dodge winked at him, squeezing his hand tightly before letting go.

Remus couldn't figure out if he was being taken the mickey out of by a child or blatantly hit on (in public that too). He decided to ignore it, though he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable under Dodge's unwavering gaze. 'You might have seen me in Hogwarts, I-'

'Nah,' Dodge cut in, waving off Remus's explanation with his hand. 'Didn' have 'nuf money for Hogwarts; was 'ome schooled until me dad died.'

'Oh,' Remus said, unsure of how he was supposed to reply. Dodge didn't seem too upset about his father's death.

'I think...' Dodge said, looking thoughtful and strangely endearing as he tapped his bottom lip with his finger. 'I think I's seen you at...' He came invasively close to Remus, lowering his voice to a whisper one dreaded word: 'Queens'.'

Remus froze and it took every bit of his strength to keep his jaw from hitting the ground.

His attempt at keeping his composure had obviously failed, if the triumphant smirk on Dodge's face was any indication. 'Got it righ' then? I knew I'd seen you someplace.' He stopped at Remus's worried expression. 'You don' need to worry. I ain't gonna tell no one, honest. I don't fancy being ousted meself.'

Remus heaved a sigh of relief. 'Thank you. What are you doing here anyway?' he asked, changing the subject. 'You're not a friend of Dung's by any chance, are you? If you are, I'm telling you now, I don't have any gold on me.'

Dodge laughed, his head thrown back in a carefree way that reminded Remus of Sirius. 'Lived in Stepney me whole life; ne'er met Dung before.' At Remus's baffled expression, he laughed even harder. 'I'm a member.'

'But you're hardly-'

'Age don' speak for skills, sir, and I'm brave 'nuf to fight some old sod who thinks he's God,' Dodge said, standing straight, chest puffed out with pride and adamancy.

'I didn't mean to offend you,' Remus said, holding back a chuckle at the boy's childish determination.

Dodge grabbed Remus by the forearms rubbing slowly. 'You'd never offend me, Remy.'

Remus raised an eyebrow at the nickname.

Dodge seemed unaware of the sarcasm, moving even closer to him and speaking quietly into his ears. 'Tell you what, I gotta go now – got work an' all, but next time you see me at Queen's, you

buy me a drink, yeah?'

Remus laughed, pushing Dodge off. 'You're underage. If you think you're going to weasel out alcohol from me, you've got another thing coming.'

'We'll see.' Dodge smirked confidently and to Remus's horrific surprise, he gave the werewolf's bum an indulgent squeeze before leaving.

Remus looked around, wide eyed and shocked speechless, to see if anyone had seen and found Gideon Prewett sitting nearby, looking at him with an amused expression. He felt himself turning hot and scarlet with embarrassment when Gideon waggled his eyebrows and looked pointedly towards Remus's behind. Noticing Remus's reaction, Gideon burst out laughing and patted the seat next to him, inviting Remus over to sit. Numbly, the werewolf complied, still stupefied at the Dodge's cheek and the fact that everyone had been too busy with their missions to notice the scene.

'Don't worry yourself over it, Remus,' Gideon said, clapping Remus on the back. 'Elf flirts with anything that has a pulse. It's like a disease for him.'

'Y-You know him?' Remus asked, still not convinced.

Gideon nodded. 'He tended the family gardens until Fay and mum found him shagging the neighbour's wife in the broom shed.' He grinned as if remembering old times. 'He was around fourteen, I think.'

This time, Remus's jaw did drop open and hit the floor. 'Fourteen? Christ, you must be joking! At fourteen, all I ever thought of was homework and what pranks James and Sirius was going to pull next.'

Gideon chortled. 'Don't pay it any mind. Elf's just having a bit of fun. He'd flirt with Hagrid if he thought he could get a kick out of it.'

Remus shuddered at the thought. 'He said he was a member...is that allowed? He seems awfully young and inexperienced with a wand. I mean, he's never even been to school...'

'He's an exception...a protégé of sorts, if you like. Fabian suggested him to Dumbledore. He's young, but I reckon Elf could beat Moody in a duel if he wanted.'

'That's ridiculous!'

'His dad dueled for sport, you know. They would have these little street matches, people would bet money on whoever they thought would win; it was good entertainment at the end of the day.'

'It's kind of like boxing, isn't it?'

Gideon's face scrunched up in confusion. 'What's boxing?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Never mind. So, his father taught him how to duel then?'

Gideon shook his head. 'He learned by watching. It's hard core dueling, too, where no one hesitates to play dirty or shed some blood. Living on the streets makes you apathetic, I suppose.'

Remus suddenly felt a little sorry for Dodge. After all, streets or not, he was still just a child. Remus remembered how disappointed he'd been when his father had first told him that he wouldn't be attending Hogwarts.

'There's an added advantage that he has no Ministry records.'

Remus's brows rose questioningly. 'How do you mean?'

Gideon shrugged. 'His birth was never recorded, nor was his first signs of magic. He's practically untraceable because according to the Ministry, he doesn't exist. Dodge isn't even his real name, you know. It's his father's street name borne from his fighting skills. Elf carries it on because I don't think he himself knows what his real name is.'

'Wow,' Remus whispered, a new found respect for the young man rising inside him. 'He's really fucked, isn't he?'

Gideon laughed. 'That's one way to put it. Fay uses the term 'gifted'. Also, as you've noticed, Elf can charm his way out of any situation.' He chuckled at the blush that spread across Remus's face and clapped him on the back. 'He's a good kid, despite always trying to cop a feel. I just hope the others don't bully him too much.'

'Where are you taking me, Moony? And why did I have to leave the bike with James? God knows what he'll do with it.' Sirius groaned as Remus pulled him into a dark, empty alleyway. 'You're not going to molest me in public, are you? We could go to jail for that, you know.' The light dancing in his eyes told Remus that Sirius wouldn't quite mind being taken advantage of in a dirty alley or going to prison for it.

'Don't be stupid,' Remus chided, punching Sirius lightly on the shoulder. 'You know that Dumbledore wants me to go tomorrow, right?'

'Don't remind me,' Sirius replied darkly.

Remus kissed him on the forehead as reassurance. 'I wanted to give you your Christmas present early.'

Sirius looked around warily. 'It doesn't involve garbage, I hope?'

Remus bit his lip, smiling weakly. 'No, but it's not much and part of it's useless since we've already had dinner at the meeting. But I was hoping you'd like it anyways, and-'

'Moony,' Sirius said, firmly holding Remus's shoulders. 'You're rambling, and it's cold out here.'

Remus smiled nervously. 'Yeah, sorry. See, I kind of asked the others about what to get you this Christmas because you always have everything. Wormtail said socks, can you believe it? Socks, because you always have holes at the toes, which I know you make on purpose and –'

'Moony!' Sirius whined, now rubbing his sides to get warmer.

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Anyway, Prongs said that I should take you out, you know. Like on a date, 'cause we've never been on one.' At Sirius's shocked expression, Remus hastened to explain, 'We don't have to do it, if you don't want to. I mean, you're not a girl or anything, but it would be nice. And Lily suggested I take you to the theatre, so-'

'I don't want to watch a play, Moony,' Sirius groaned. 'My parents took me to those all the time and I always slept through half of it.'

Remus flicked Sirius on the forehead. 'No, you daft mutt; a movie theatre. I've never taken you to one, have I?'

Remus had definitely peaked Sirius's interest if the wide eyed, eager expression was anything to pass by. When Sirius shook his head vigourously, Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around his lover as he apparated them into another pathway he knew was close to a movie theatre. He quickly let go when he noticed a few people making their way to the place they were standing.

'Is that it?' Sirius asked, looking skeptically at the dull orange building and the brightly coloured movie posters. 'They're not even moving,' he complained further, poking one of the posters as they walked in. 'What fun is a picture if it doesn't move and oh-' Sirius stopped mid walk, causing Remus to bump into his back as he picked up his nose and gave it an experimental sniff in a very doggish manner. 'What's that smell, Moony?'

Remus scrunched up his nose. 'What smell? I don't smell anything.'

Sirius sniffed again, twirling around on his heels and causing people to stare at them oddly. 'That,

Moony! That...that...it's making my mouth water...don't you smell it?'

Remus laughed, comprehension finally dawning. 'It's just popcorn, Padfoot,' he explained, trying

hard not to laugh.

Sometimes Remus forgot how the muggle world was still very new to Sirius. He was born a Black after all and had known even less than most wizards did when he'd joined Hogwarts. Remus remembered how Sirius had entirely adopted the muggle lifestyle as the years went by, first doing it just to spite his family and then carrying it on out of sheer fascination. It helped to be living with Remus, who was half blood and lived with muggles most of his life, and it was also a good thing that Sirius was a better pupil than Arthur Weasley. That man still asked Remus about 'ecklectricity' nearly every time they met.

'I'll get you some after we go inside. Just let me pick the movie, okay Padfoot?'

Sirius nodded distractedly, still enamoured by the overpowering aroma of buttered popcorn that seemed to dominate the entire building. 'I'm having this stuff for breakfast tomorrow...and lunch... and dinner.'

Remus rolled his eyes, choosing not to humour Sirius with an answer as he looked at all the possible choices he had. Inwardly, he wondered which hall was likely to be most empty; he very much intended to hold Sirius against his molestation charges. In fact, he needed to find a movie that was so impossibly ridiculous that no one except the two of them would actually pay to watch it. As if by some miracle of God, the spotlight shone on a brilliantly animated poster, and Remus quickly strode over to the ticket counter, dragging Sirius by the shoulder (it was a fire hazard to leave him alone).

'Two tickets to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, please.'

Remus's realised, as he entered the hall, that his prediction had been spot on. The hall was practically empty, save for four other people. Two of whom Remus knew were here to nap in a place where they had sufficient heat; while the other two, a young couple, were probably here with the same intentions as Remus and Sirius (oblivious as he may be). Still, as necessary precaution, Remus looked around, carefully inspecting all the occupants, the lights and their angles.

'There...the last seat at the right corner,' Remus pointed to Sirius, confident that no one would be able to see them there. Inwardly, he thanked his fifth grade Math teacher and the difficult time she

gave him when learning degrees and angles. 'The view will be perfect there,' he added as incentive, in case Sirius was having second thoughts. 'Why don't you go ahead, and I'll bring the popcorn and a couple of drinks, all right?'

Sirius brightened up. 'Get lots of it, Moony, and don't bring any of that Diet soda. It tastes like shit and none of us need it. We're skinny enough to start with.'

By the time Remus beat the long line at the snack counter and returned with enough popcorn to keep Sirius happy for the rest of the day and two bottles of fizzy soda (not diet, mind you. That time was a mistake), the movie had already started. Predictably so, Sirius was engrossed; he was sitting on the edge of his seat, back bent, eyes wide, and mouth stuck in a permanent 'oh'.

'No weapon, no motive, no clues. All we have to go on is this bloody corpse.'

'Look again, Harry. That's not blood. It's tomato juice!'

'Enjoying the movie, Padfoot?' Remus asked, taking his seat and setting the popcorn between them.

Sirius grinned and nodded, blindly reaching behind him for the popcorn. 'It's tomato juice, can you believe it, Moony? I mean, this stuff's wackier than Dumbledore in pink stripy knickers. Absolutely, bloody brilliant!'

Remus winced at the mental picture of Dumbledore that popped inside his head. Sirius didn't seem to have noticed and simply lay back on his seat, propping his feet up on the chair in front of him and laughing at some ridiculously bad jokes. Remus shook his head hopelessly, slinging an arm around Sirius's shoulder and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Sirius turned to him questioningly. 'What was that for?'

'Because I can,' Remus replied smugly, trailing more kisses down his lover's jaw and neck.

Sirius smile lasted a millisecond before his face contorted in anger and shock. 'Can you believe that Richardson bloke; trying to make a fool out of those people! Like no one saw that tomato attack on the beach!'

The back of Remus's head hit the seat as he groaned in frustration. Trust Sirius Black to find entertainment in a movie called Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. For what seemed like the next few hours but what was actually minutes, Remus was subjected to the mindless torture of watching tomatoes, tomatoes, and even more violent and aggressive tomatoes.

'That Smith fellow's fantastic, Moony! I wonder where he gets his costumes from...that beard looks practically real!'

From the corner of his eyes, Remus could see the young couple in the front seat snogging heavily and sighed in boredom and frustration.

He played with Sirius's hair idly, curling it between his fingers, massaging the scalp slightly at the base. Apart from a slight sound of content, Sirius seemed unaffected, stuffing more popcorn into his mouth as he stared, transfixed, into the wide screen. Remus frowned, annoyed but determined. He moved his ministrations to the back of Sirius's neck, rubbing slow tantalising circles he knew drove Sirius wild, dipping his fingers past the shirt collar and following the path of his finger's with his lips shortly after.

Remus scowled at Sirius's complete impassiveness. He was going to kill Lily for suggesting the idea of a movie. It was obvious what was going to happen, yet the Remus had completely

overlooked it. Of course Sirius would be fascinated; this was, after all, Sirius fucking Black – king of complete idiocy. Remus should have offered to take him out for breakfast or something, or maybe a visit to the museum (not the zoo; that would be dangerous...for the animals).

'Padfoot...' Remus growled irritably.

Sirius took a sip from his drink. 'Hm?'

Remus grabbed Sirius by the chin, turned his face forcefully, and crashed their lips together in a fierce kiss, wasting no time to plunder Sirius's mouth with his tounge or bite teasingly into his lower lip. Remus grinned triumphantly as Sirius moaned quietly into his mouth and allowed himself to be pulled into Remus's lap so that their bodies were flush together.

'Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags.'

'Moony?' Sirius whispered breathlessly, resting his forehead against Remus's and tangling his

fingers in soft brown hair.

'...He means fruits, sir.'

Remus smiled, brushing his thumb against Sirius's cheek. 'Gods...yeah?' 'I don't get it.'

Remus took a last drag of his cigarette and looked at Sirius's profile, sharpened by the dim streetlights. They'd chosen to walk home instead of apparating because (as Remus helpfully supplied), all good dates ended with the couple walking each other home. It gave them a chance to talk and be romantic, Remus thought, remembering all the movies and shows he watched on television with his mother.

There was a curfew, he knew, set by both the wizard and muggle community; it was dangerous times after all, and one could never know where the next murder might strike. Still, Remus figured it wouldn't hurt to make one day an exception; they were both skilled wizards and it was a present for Sirius (who smelled disturbingly like a tub of popcorn).

'Can we bring James to watch the movie again, Moony? I bet he'd love it, too!' Sirius grinned, looking happier and more relaxed than he had in a long time, sending pleasant bursts of joy through Remus.

'Sure, Padfoot, but the two of you can go alone. I'd rather die than watch that shit again. Honestly, tomatoes taking over the world.'

Sirius rolled his eyes like Remus was the biggest imbecile on the planet. 'It's symbolic, Moony; I'd think that was obvious. It shows that the things that we usually neglect and consider harmless are what comes back and bites us in the arse.'

'Bollocks. You're making that up, I can tell,' Remus grouched. 'You just like the idea of murdering tomatoes.'

'Moony, my hopeless friend, you simply cannot think beyond the horizons. You shall forever remain tied down to your facts and your books. I pity you, my love, you and your feeble mind.'

Remus punched Sirius in the shoulder. 'Oh hush. You're in no position to pity me, what with your track record.'

'Hm...' Their fingers brushed together, and Sirius entwined his index with Remus's pinky briefly before letting go. 'Did you talk to your mother recently, Moony? She owled again, you know, and I think she called Lily a couple of times, too.'

Remus shrugged. 'I didn't think it was important. She knows where I'm going.'

Sirius frowned at Remus's casual indifference. 'I'm sure she'd want to hear it from your mouth though. I think she wants you over for Christmas or maybe New Years.'

'Well, I won't even be here, will I?'

'You could have visited her earlier. You know she worries abou-'

'She doesn't want me there, Padfoot,' Remus replied coldly. 'She can't even look me straight in the face anymore, so what good will my visit do her except torture her even further. Now please, let's not talk about this, I'm begging you. I really don't want to argue with you on this matter, especially not tonight.'

Remus looked so sad and pathetic that Sirius couldn't help but let the matter drop with a heavy sigh. He didn't say anything further, walking quietly and letting Remus tangle their fingers together as they walked into an abandoned street – a shortcut that people rarely used because of the state of the roads.

'Did you see that new kid in today's meeting: Dodge?' Remus asked, breaking the silence between them.

Sirius snorted. 'Yeah, I'm babysitting him for our next few missions. Bloody boring patrol stuff, too; wouldn't do to endanger his diapered little arse.'

'Really?'

'Ahan, Caradoc Dearborn offered to be his mentor, but he chose me instead.' Sirius grimaced. 'So now I'm stuck because Moody figured it would be the perfect way to exact revenge upon me for what happened last class.'

'I don't blame him, really. You did knock the man out for two whole hours.'

'It was a mistake!' Sirius cried out. 'I lost my temper!'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You're always losing your temper, Padfoot, I wish you'd think more and act on instinct less. It's really dangerous; the way you work sometimes. It's like you're charging headfirst into death.'

'Worried, Moony?' Sirius smirked, raising an eyebrow and swinging their entwined hands slightly. 'Don't worry your pretty little head, mate, you know I always keep safe.'

Remus smiled, lifting his other hand to tuck errant strands of black hair behind Sirius's ears. 'In any case, I'd advise you to keep safe of Dodge's hands. He might try to grope you. I can tell you right now that he didn't choose you as mentor for your skill with the wand.' He glanced slyly at Sirius's crotch. 'Not the wooden one, at least.'

Sirius laughed, smacking Remus up the head. 'I'll keep that in mind then. Besides, I really think its

Dodge who should be wary of me, don't you Moony?'

Remus didn't miss the mischievous glint in Sirius's eyes. 'I know what you're thinking, Padfoot, and I'm warning you. Don't you dare harass that poor child.'

'Poor child?' A minute ago, you told me he likes to cop a feel every once in a while! Besides, he's only a year or two younger than us. That hardly constitutes as a child.'

'I'm serious, Padfoot, he's young and he's new. You're supposed to be his mentor, not some twat who gives him a hard time,' Remus said sternly.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus's waist and pulled the werewolf flush against him. 'It's just a harmless bit of fun, Moony. Stuff James and I used to pull on first years. I'd probably just turn into a Grim or something; give him a good scare.' He nudged the skin behind Remus's ear affectionately with his nose. 'It could be like an inauguration.'

Remus was about to retort when he noticed that they were currently standing in front of the steps to their flat. Both their hands dropped immediately, and they moved away to put a good distance between each other. Remus tried hard not to show too much disappointment.

'Time flies, eh?' Sirius asked as they walked up the staircase, jangling the keys to their flat in his pocket.

'I guess so.'

They stopped at their front door, Sirius still fiddling with the bundle of keys. 'Thanks for tonight, Moony; I really did have a lot of fun.' He looked around a little and planted a quick kiss on Remus's lips. 'It really was the best present ever.'

Remus blushed. 'Well, I had fun, too, even though you were too busy with the movie to pay me any notice.'

Sirius shrugged, unlocking the door. 'You'll always be the centre of my attention, Moony, you should know that by now.'

Remus smiled softly, but said nothing.

Sirius was looking at him with a dreamy sort of expression; eyes glazed over, eyebrows arched underneath messy black hair, lips curved in a teasing yet confident smile. 'So,' he said in a low, husky voice, holding Remus's hands between his own. 'Do you want to come in for coffee or something?'

For a moment, they both stared at each other – Remus looking incredulous, and Sirius looking cocky and as if he was trying to hold back laughter at the same time. They both burst out laughing simultaneously, falling over each other and clutching the other's shoulders for support.

'You absolute prick!' Remus cried out between chuckles.

'Hey, you're the one who wanted it to be all date-y and what not,' Sirius gasped as Remus wrestled him against the wall.

'That bit doesn't bloody count if we live together, you git!'

'KEEP IT DOWN YOU NASTY HOOLIGANS! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!'

There were more disapproving shouts and screams, and Remus and Sirius quickly muffled their laughter with a hand placed on the other's mouth.

BLOODY, THOUGHTLESS-'

'Bet they think we're drunk,' Sirius said, still chortling as he pulled Remus into the flat and pinned him against the door.

Remus caught his breath only to burst out laughing again; he was glad to have Sirius holding him up or he'd definitely have fallen over by now. 'I feel like it, too. Do you think there was something in the popcorn?'

Sirius licked a trail up Remus's neck. 'You never know with these muggles. Enough talking. Does this date of ours end with you fucking me in the bedroom or not?'

Remus arched his neck to give Sirius's tounge better access. 'Gods, I should hope so.'

Sirius woke up in the morning to find Remus running around in a frenzy in his boxer shorts, his wet hair flying all over the place, his shirt hanging open, and a cigarette dangling at the corner of his lips as he pulled out clothes randomly and stuffed them into his rucksack.

'Moony?'

Remus jumped and turned to face Sirius. 'Oh, Padfoot, good, you're awake.'

'Hm,' Sirius mumbled, sitting up and sleepily pulling on his boxers. 'You're leaving already.'

'I'm late actually,' Remus replied, zipping his trousers and walking towards Sirius. 'Dumbledore wanted me earlier, but I overslept.'

'Hm,' Sirius said again, pulling Remus to him and working Remus's shirt buttons close.

Remus nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette. 'Listen, I made some breakfast for you. It's got a warming charm on it, so you can have it whenever you like. I did the grocery shopping, too, so you won't end up starving yourself or anything. '

Sirius hummed, finishing the last of Remus's buttons and buckling Remus's belt; he fastened it by an extra hole, making it impossibly tight out of pure spite.

Remus made a disgruntled grunt, but otherwise said nothing about Sirius taking revenge on his waist line. 'And don't eat take out while I'm away; you remember your curry fiasco, don't you? Pester Prongs and Lily; eat all three meals at their house if you have to. I don't want you getting sick again.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the hairbrush out of Remus's hands, carefully combing through honey brown hair and parting it into a neat line.

'I picked up our laundry too, so your robes are all clean and pressed for work.' Remus winced as Sirius pulled on a knot. 'They're on the left side of the cupboard, so don't mess them up with any of mine.'

'I won't,' Sirius groused, as he helped Remus into his robes and buttoned them.

'If you need anything, Padfoot, if you're in trouble, you call Prongs or Wormtail immediately. You understand?'

Sirius rolled his eyes, pulled the fag out of Remus's lips, took a drag himself, and stubbed it against the bedpost. 'I'll be fine, Moony. You don't have to mother me. You've been gone plenty of times before, and I took care of myself all right.'

Remus smiled softly, cupping Sirius's cheek. "I know that...I'm just trying to buy more time with you, I guess,' he admitted. 'I don't want to leave, really.'

Sirius laugh came out more high pitched than intended and before he knew what he was doing, he pulled Remus into a tight hug, snuffling into the soft cloth of Remus's chest and smelling fresh detergent. Sirius felt Remus set his chin on the crown of his head, his hands rubbing Sirius's back in haphazard motion.

'I love you,' Remus whispered, kissing his hair.

Sirius laughed again and pushed Remus away lightly. 'Go on then,' he said, shoving Remus's stomach with his palm. 'Go save the world and what not. I'll see you later.'

'You're still coming for dinner at our place, aren't you, Sirius?' Lily asked, hooking arms with Alice Longbottom casually. 'Frank and Alice have some good news to share apparently.'

Alice blushed and Frank beamed proudly at two of the Marauders and Lily, but otherwise said nothing. He never was the kind to say much, not unless he was bleeding drunk anyway.

They were at another Order meeting; nothing too serious, just a little Christmas celebration to spread holiday cheer during dark times. Everyone had cooked and brought something from their respective homes to join into a big feast for Christmas lunch/tea. Of course, Sirius, being unable to do anything domestic, had brought the wine and chocolate biscuits.

'Padfoot hardly needs an invitation,' James snorted. 'He practically lives in our house now that Moony's gone. Poor doggy misses his master – whipped!' he whispered the last part into Sirius's ear so that Frank and Alice couldn't hear.

Sirius cuffed him up the head. 'I'll have you know that the only reason I bother coming to that flat of yours is because Lily is the best cook I know. Also,' he continued, kissing Lily's cheek, 'who can deny the company of such a lovely woman.'

Alice groaned and Frank rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated 'oh please!'

James glared. 'I know a complete lack of social life makes you horny, Padfoot, but that doesn't give you permission to hit on my wife.'

Sirius smirked. 'Your wife has been pining for a chance to sleep with me for ages, Prongs, but you've always been in our way.' He wrapped his arms around Lily's waist and whispered loudly in her ears, 'It's okay, my love, Prongs knows now; there's nothing left to hide.'

Alice and Lily burst out laughing. 'Dream on, Black,' Lily replied, pushing away Sirius gently.

'Oh, Alice then,' Sirius said, grinning and wrapping his arms around Frank's wife this time. 'You've always been my first choice, love, but that Evans was so annoyingly persistent. She seduced me

wrongly, you know!'

'You're really full of shit, Sirius!' Alice replied, giggling but unlike Lily, hugging him back.

'It's a pity really that little Peter couldn't come,' Frank said, wiping tears of mirth from the corner of his eyes. 'What kind of arse makes a man work on Christmas? Poor bloke.'

Lily nodded in agreement. 'He's always working, have you noticed? When's the last time we saw him outside official Order meetings? He doesn't even join the boys for drinks anymore.'

James shrugged. 'What can you do? A job's a job. Wormtail has to support his mother and sister now; he can't just up and quit whenever he likes. Besides, he said he'll be over tomorrow with presents...He tells me he's buying something special for you this year, Lily, to celebrate our baby and all.'

Lily blushed. 'Peter's a sweetheart.'

'Bloody rat's stealing my title, he is,' grumbled Sirius, 'only minutes ago, I was the sweetheart of the group.'

'It's a miracle your head fits through the door with an ego like yours, Sirius,' Alice said, rolling her eyes at Lily but fighting back a smile.

Sirius was about to retort when the clock struck six. 'Oh, shit. I have to go.'

'Nonsense, Sirius, you're coming at our place directly for dinner with Frank and Alice,' Lily said disapprovingly, as Sirius made a grab for the leather jacket he'd thrown aside on a nearby chair. 'What's the hurry?'

'I need to get to the cleaners. I wore Remus's robes to our field practice last time and got them filthy; he'll kill me if he finds out.' Sirius pulled the zipper and wrapped his scarf around his neck. 'The cleaners close at seven because of curfew and then they won't open until after Christmas. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy Moony's wrath when he comes back.'

James shook his head sadly. 'Whipped,' he mouthed silently and smirked when Sirius held up two fingers before walking out the door.

'Mr. Black! Wait!' Young Elphias Dodge's voice rang above the thrum of Sirius's motorbike. 'No patrols tonight, Elf, you can go home if you like,' Sirius said, revving up the engine.

Elphias stopped in front of the bike, panting from his run. 'I know that, Mr. Black, Mr. Moody told me to go wit' you. Says e'ryone should be goin' 'round in pair or groups o' sorts.'

Sirius tightened his scarf around his neck. Over the past week, he'd taken quite a liking to the young boy; Elphias was an eager and fast learner, charmingly humble, and a good conversationalist when you were bored out of your mind. Also, he knew how to take a good prank (though he was still convinced he saw the Grim earlier). So far, Remus's warnings of Dodge's wandering hands had gone unneeded; although Sirius did notice the boy's extremely flirtatious nature (Dodge's newest target being Marlene McKinnon), Elphias had been thoroughly decent (if not lacking a bit of tact) throughout.

'Moody sent you or you volunteered because you wanted a ride on the bike?' Sirius asked, already handing over the helmet Remus sometimes used to Elphias.

Elphias simply grinned as he strapped his helmet on and sat behind him.

'Oh and please don't call me Mr. Black, Elf. It makes me feel like an old man. We're all equals here in the Order.'

'All righ', Mr. Black,' Elf said with a cocky smirk. 'Why not apparate, sir? Wouldn' it be safer?'

Sirius rolled his eyes as cast Dillusionment charms on both of them and the bike. Most people would be home by now, but it still wasn't wise to have a flying motorbike in plain sight, especially in a muggle neighbourhood. 'You'll call me Sirius if you don't want to be thrown off this bike, am I clear? And I wanted a nice quiet, peaceful ride home actually. I'm afraid my chances of that are ruined,' he said, looking pointedly at Dodge and taking off at a steep angle.

Elphias made a surprised little sound at the back of his throat and clutched at Sirius's waist tightly. 'Tha's the first choir I's seen today, can you believe that, sir?' he said, pointing to one of the houses below them where sure enough, there was a small group of children singing while three of the adults played instruments.

Sirius dived down a little closer and to his utter disappointment, heard the familiar tunes of White Christmas. If Remus were here, Sirius mused, he would argue that it was a beautiful song; a song that spoke about the spirit of Christmas and that Sirius just failed to understand the true meaning behind the soulful music. Then, Sirius would say that it didn't matter if it was because Christmas was supposed to be about joy and happiness, and not slow depressing music that nearly put you to sleep. God, he missed Remus.

''s beautiful, innit?' Elphias asked, leaning precariously in his seat to catch a better glimpse of them.

Sirius shook his head and pulled the boy by the back of his coat before he fell over. 'It's dull. I'd rather add some holiday cheer, if you don't mind.' Sirius left no room for questions as he pulled out his wand and with an elegant swish, charmed the instruments to playWerewolves of London instead.

Elphias burst out laughing as the choir turned into a confused mess, some of the children glaring at the band for playing the wrong tune, while others trying to catch up with the music while still singing White Christmas. The spectators, a small family of four people, were battling between expressions of puzzlement and disgust.

'Awooooo!' Dodge howled, head thrown back and still laughing. 'Awooooo!'

Sirius chuckled, feeling a little better and threw down the little muggle money he had at the choir's feet. 'For you, Moony,' he whispered happily before climbing up the sky again.

'So,' said Dodge, once they'd gained sufficient altitude and flown far away from the people. 'He's your boyfrien', isn' he?'

Sirius shivered and tugged at his jacket; he'd forgotten how much colder it would be this high up. 'What are you talking about?' he asked, brows furrowing as he noticed the thick mist that erupted from his every word.

'Remy...the two o' you are goin' out together, ain't you? Like boyfrien's and stuff.'

Sirius turned back to look at Dodge incredulously. Remus had told him that Dodge knew about their relationship, but no one had ever used the termboyfriend before. It sounded ridiculous even in his head; like Sirius was some kind of school girl. 'His name's Remus.'

'Bit rich coming from someone who calls him Moony, innit? 'Sides, you din't answer the question.'

Again, Sirius mused at Dodge's complete lack of tact. It was good that the boy spoke his mind, but it did tend to get a little intrusive sometimes. 'Yes, we're together. What of it?' Sirius snapped defensively.

Elphias grinned toothily. 'Well, must be fun...bein' with a werewolf an' all. I mean, does he have superpowers; can silver really burn 'im; do the changes 'urt? Is he ahem...aggressive in bed?'

Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow. 'You seem curious in matters that don't concern you, Elf. Certainly can't be healthy.'

'Come on, sir,' Dodge groaned, nudging him lightly. 'I'm old enuf'...'nother year an' I'll be of age and every thin'! 'Sides, I'm freezing me bollocks off ridin' on your bike. Migh' as well give me somethin' to 'member.'

Sirius laughed and shook his head exasperatedly. 'You're impossible, Elf. Well, let's see...no, yes, yes, and sometimes.'

Elphias's eyes widened comically. 'Sometimes...really?' 'Close your mouth, Elf, you'll ca-'

'Christ, what's going on down there?' Elphias cried, suddenly fisting the back of Sirius's jacket and causing Sirius to lose control of the bike momentarily.

Sirius steadied them quickly and looked down, following Elphias's gaze. 'Oh fuck, it's an attack! Twelve Death Eaters...I can't believe this! On bloody Christmas, too!'

'I know those people, sir; they're wizards!'

'Shit, fuck; there are children there!' Sirius dove towards the ground, casting a heavy silencing charm upon the bike as he did. 'Get off, Elf!' he cried out, skidding to a stop. 'Get off now and call for help! Send a Patronus back in the Headquarters, everyone should still be there!'

Elphias stumbled, nearly falling over from Sirius's insistent push. 'What about you?' he screamed desperately, wincing when Sirius removed the Dillusionment charm with a forceful tap on his head.

'I'm going to try to take them down or at least hold them back till help arrives,' Sirius said, his voice unnaturally calm and a steely glint in his light grey eyes.

Elphias grabbed him by the arm. 'You can't do that! There are too many of them there! They'll slaughter you!'

'You're wasting my time, Elphias!' Sirius growled angrily, snatching his arm away and twisting the handles of the motorbike experimentally. 'If you think I'm going to sit and watch innocent children die, you've got another thing coming! Besides, I'm Dillusioned; they won't know what hit them! Now go!'

Before Elphias could protest further, Sirius had driven away; the only sign of anyone in the vicinity being the tell tale glimmer of the Dillusionment charm cast on the black haired man. Elphias looked away, unable to see what was going to happen next and concentrated on producing his Patronus.

'Breathe, Elf,' he told himself, as a small silver Onyx appeared from the top of his wand. 'Focus, call for help. Mr. Black needs help.'

A shrill scream pierced the night air, and Elphias whipped around to see Sirius lying crumpled on the ground, his Dillusionment charm lifted and his motorbike splayed on top of his legs, restricting him to his position on the ground. Sirius, however, was undeterred and continually aiming spells at all the Death Eaters, but in vain as most of them were dodged or deflected. He was heavily outnumbered.

'Shite,' Elphias swore, clutching his wand tighter and preparing himself for a fight he was sure to lose. He was a good dueler, yes, but he knew his limitations. 'Merlin, help me.' He'd never felt this scared his entire life; his hands shaking, his heart pumping wildly, adrenaline rushing into his veins.

It was when Elphias was running towards the house with every intention to help Sirius that he saw the words form on the Death Eater's mouth before he'd actually heard it. Elphias's reflexes were quick; his wand rose from practiced instinct and he aimed, knowing only too well that he wasn't going to be successful even before he cast the spell.

'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

The familiar jet of green light shot forcefully from the Death Eater's wand, brushing past Elphias and missing him by a hairsbreadth as it made its way towards Sirius with lightening speed. Sirius, who was completely incapable of moving even an inch.

'MR. BLACK!'

'Argh!' Remus fell to the floor with a loud thud, clutching his heart as unspeakable pain shot through it. His chest burned red hot pins, needles and daggers shooting through it, tightening, convulsing, piercing and caving. It was worse than the transformation, worse than any sort of pain he'd ever felt, and Remus knew as he cried and screamed and howled, knew that his time had come, that he was going to die right now and he was going to welcome it. Anything to make the searing pain stop, anything to make it go away. Sweat trickled down his head, his back, his chest; his breath came as short gasps of pain and need; his chest heaved and his head pounded from exertion; his heart was beating so loud and fast Remus was sure it was going to pop out of his rib cage any moment.

Then suddenly, it stopped. It didn't fade away slowly like most pain; no, it just burnt out like it had never been there, and Remus found himself gasping for air like a stranded fish and clutching at his heart tightly. He could feel hands helping him up; shoulders supporting him; a cool wet cloth wiping his face and neck.

'Call the ambulance now! Hurry, Matilda!'

The tears that had been pooling in Remus's eyes fell, his vision clearing to reveal the familiar, worried faces of the waiter and the man that had been sitting on the stool beside him.

'I'm fine,' Remus croaked out, forcing his knees to straighten and help him stand on his own. 'Please, don't call the hospital. I'm fine'

The waiter's (Larry?) hold tightened even further. 'You're having some kind of heart attack, sir, we need to get you to the hospital immediately. Please don't stress yourself.'

'No,' Remus protested weakly, tugging at the hands that were holding him up. 'Look, they're just... they're just panic attacks,' he lied, 'I have them all the time. I just need some rest, and everything will be fine, I promise.'

'He does seem to be fine,' said the other man, scrutinising Remus carefully. 'Whatever it was seems to have gone down.'

Larry looked hesitant.

'Look, there's a couple of pounds in my bag,' Remus said desperately, now fighting the exhaustion and sleep that seem to command him. 'Just take how much ever you need and put me in a room, okay? Please, I just need to get some rest. I'll leave early tomorrow.'

Larry nodded reluctantly.

By the time, Remus had been half carried upstairs to his room and deposited on the bed, he was considerably less tired; he seemed to have gained his energy a little bit. His eyes still strained for sleep, but he brought himself to muster up enough strength to take a shower before getting ready for bed. The pain had faded into a distant memory, and Remus wondered if the incident had all been in his imagination as he watched layers of grime and blood wash off his pale skin.

His mission had proved easier than he'd expected. There was a fight, a scuffle of sorts when Remus had first entered into the colony but that was purely instinctual. Remus had given no forewarning of his arrival, and the members of the werewolf pack had been threatened. They had thought he was a Ministry official or an angered citizen, here to burn them out.

After that misunderstanding, however, the werewolves had been wonderfully courteous and welcoming, despite the dilapidated state of their dwellings. They had welcomed Remus as one of their own, listened to what Remus had to say patiently, and given their replies with the utmost respect for Dumbledore and the Order. They hadn't even been an actual pack; they were more like a group or a club of human beings who looked after each other after being shunned by the rest of the society. Many of them had secret lives outside; jobs, sometimes families, and only visited to talk about their worries, or lend a helping hand, or even just to feel like they belonged. It was sad and wonderful at the same time.

The journey back had been longer and more tiring because he'd had travel on foot most of the way because apparition was easily detected. Remus had been reluctant to stop, aching to just go home, but as night fell and exhaustion took over, he opted to stay at an inn in Derbyshire for the night. He had been casually drinking and chatting to the man sitting beside him when that...attack...that pain had come.

Remus pulled on his boxer shorts and collapsed into his bed. Blindly, his foot searched for his rucksack at the base of the bed and hooked itself in one of the straps, pulling it to his stomach. Rummaging inside it, Remus found what he was looking for and pulled the crumpled photograph out with care so as not to tear it. It was picture from James and Lily's wedding, all the Marauders and Lily smiling and waving at the camera cheerfully – a favourite or Remus's and something he kept at all times with him.

Remus had taken the picture out only once on the thirteen days that he was away from home. Tonight, however, something pulled at Remus's heartstrings as he looked at Sirius's smiling face. Tonight, there was this urge; this longing to see Sirius, to touch him, to feel him, to kiss him, to make love to him, to make sure he was okay. Though his heartbeat had slowed back to normal, he felt a strange pull, not entirely painful, as he thought of his lover.

Remus caressed the image of Sirius with his thumb. 'What are you doing now, Padfoot?' he quietly asked no one. He looked at the picture one last time before sliding it underneath his pillow and surrendering to the sleep that had been trying to overcome him for so long.