momentum

by lilralien

dog moon

10. momentum december

chapter 21

December, 1979

Remus sighed as another Order meeting ended, looking longingly at all the Marauders who were currently discussing the next mission with their assigned partners. Remus hadn't been given one because he already had a werewolf mission on his shoulders; a mission that Dumbledore had requested Remus carry out tomorrow night – a week prior to what was previously planned.

It was going to be difficult explaining to Sirius that Remus was not only going to miss Christmas but a large part of the December month as well; which also meant that Sirius would have to be alone in the festivities for over a week. Sirius was, in fact, going to hate it, bitch about it and though he would concede in the end, he was going to refuse to talk to Remus for the remainder of the night. Not something Remus was particularly looking forward to.

Perhaps tonight was a good time to put James and Lily's idea to use? It would be a little earlier than Remus had initially planned it, but it would definitely make Sirius happy. Maybe even mark something significant in their relationship though Remus doubted it. Still, the look of utter shock on Sirius's face would be priceless when Remus told him the sudden change in plans tonight.

'You got a beautiful smile.'

Remus snapped back to the present to see a young boy, no older than sixteen, looking up at him. Remus had only seen him today in the meeting and assumed it was one of the member's son or younger sibling. Although, now that he thought about it, no one quite looked or dressed like the boy.

The child had wild, platinum blond curls that reached slightly past his ears, eyes so dark a shade of green that they looked nearly black, and a permanent blush across both cheeks under smudges of what Remus could only assume was dirt. Although he lacked the conventional good looks that Sirius or James had, there was a boyish quality about him that made him attractive. Remus figured that the boy's parents weren't too well off by the flimsy jacket he wore over his green jumper, striped red scarf, and boots that were already fraying at the toes – hardly the right attire for such harsh and cold weather.

'I'm sorry?'

The boy's face broke into a grin, eyes dancing with delight. 'You was smilin' righ' now; looks bloody gorgeous.'

Cockney, Remus realised once he'd gotten over the unusual compliment and stopped blinking like

a moron. 'I...er...thank you, I suppose.'

'You're Remus, aren' you? I 'eard the bloke with the glasses talkin' 'bout you. I'm Elphias Dodge, by the way, but everyone calls me Elf,' he said all of this very quick, as if competing with the speed of light and vigourously stuck out his hand for a shake.

Remus, completely speechless, shook Dodge's hand more out of instinctual good manners than amicability.

'I'm new 'ere. Odd though, feels like I's seen you somewhere. I ne'er forget a pretty face, you know.' Dodge winked at him, squeezing his hand tightly before letting go.

Remus couldn't figure out if he was being taken the mickey out of by a child or blatantly hit on (in public that too). He decided to ignore it, though he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable under Dodge's unwavering gaze. 'You might have seen me in Hogwarts, I-'

'Nah,' Dodge cut in, waving off Remus's explanation with his hand. 'Didn' have 'nuf money for Hogwarts; was 'ome schooled until me dad died.'

'Oh,' Remus said, unsure of how he was supposed to reply. Dodge didn't seem too upset about his father's death.

'I think...' Dodge said, looking thoughtful and strangely endearing as he tapped his bottom lip with his finger. 'I think I's seen you at...' He came invasively close to Remus, lowering his voice to a whisper one dreaded word: 'Queens'.'

Remus froze and it took every bit of his strength to keep his jaw from hitting the ground.

His attempt at keeping his composure had obviously failed, if the triumphant smirk on Dodge's face was any indication. 'Got it righ' then? I knew I'd seen you someplace.' He stopped at Remus's worried expression. 'You don' need to worry. I ain't gonna tell no one, honest. I don't fancy being ousted meself.'

Remus heaved a sigh of relief. 'Thank you. What are you doing here anyway?' he asked, changing the subject. 'You're not a friend of Dung's by any chance, are you? If you are, I'm telling you now, I don't have any gold on me.'

Dodge laughed, his head thrown back in a carefree way that reminded Remus of Sirius. 'Lived in Stepney me whole life; ne'er met Dung before.' At Remus's baffled expression, he laughed even harder. 'I'm a member.'

'But you're hardly-'

'Age don' speak for skills, sir, and I'm brave 'nuf to fight some old sod who thinks he's God,' Dodge said, standing straight, chest puffed out with pride and adamancy.

'I didn't mean to offend you,' Remus said, holding back a chuckle at the boy's childish determination.

Dodge grabbed Remus by the forearms rubbing slowly. 'You'd never offend me, Remy.'

Remus raised an eyebrow at the nickname.

Dodge seemed unaware of the sarcasm, moving even closer to him and speaking quietly into his ears. 'Tell you what, I gotta go now – got work an' all, but next time you see me at Queen's, you

buy me a drink, yeah?'

Remus laughed, pushing Dodge off. 'You're underage. If you think you're going to weasel out alcohol from me, you've got another thing coming.'

'We'll see.' Dodge smirked confidently and to Remus's horrific surprise, he gave the werewolf's bum an indulgent squeeze before leaving.

Remus looked around, wide eyed and shocked speechless, to see if anyone had seen and found Gideon Prewett sitting nearby, looking at him with an amused expression. He felt himself turning hot and scarlet with embarrassment when Gideon waggled his eyebrows and looked pointedly towards Remus's behind. Noticing Remus's reaction, Gideon burst out laughing and patted the seat next to him, inviting Remus over to sit. Numbly, the werewolf complied, still stupefied at the Dodge's cheek and the fact that everyone had been too busy with their missions to notice the scene.

'Don't worry yourself over it, Remus,' Gideon said, clapping Remus on the back. 'Elf flirts with anything that has a pulse. It's like a disease for him.'

'Y-You know him?' Remus asked, still not convinced.

Gideon nodded. 'He tended the family gardens until Fay and mum found him shagging the neighbour's wife in the broom shed.' He grinned as if remembering old times. 'He was around fourteen, I think.'

This time, Remus's jaw did drop open and hit the floor. 'Fourteen? Christ, you must be joking! At fourteen, all I ever thought of was homework and what pranks James and Sirius was going to pull next.'

Gideon chortled. 'Don't pay it any mind. Elf's just having a bit of fun. He'd flirt with Hagrid if he thought he could get a kick out of it.'

Remus shuddered at the thought. 'He said he was a member...is that allowed? He seems awfully young and inexperienced with a wand. I mean, he's never even been to school...'

'He's an exception...a protégé of sorts, if you like. Fabian suggested him to Dumbledore. He's young, but I reckon Elf could beat Moody in a duel if he wanted.'

'That's ridiculous!'

'His dad dueled for sport, you know. They would have these little street matches, people would bet money on whoever they thought would win; it was good entertainment at the end of the day.'

'It's kind of like boxing, isn't it?'

Gideon's face scrunched up in confusion. 'What's boxing?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Never mind. So, his father taught him how to duel then?'

Gideon shook his head. 'He learned by watching. It's hard core dueling, too, where no one hesitates to play dirty or shed some blood. Living on the streets makes you apathetic, I suppose.'

Remus suddenly felt a little sorry for Dodge. After all, streets or not, he was still just a child. Remus remembered how disappointed he'd been when his father had first told him that he wouldn't be attending Hogwarts.

'There's an added advantage that he has no Ministry records.'

Remus's brows rose questioningly. 'How do you mean?'

Gideon shrugged. 'His birth was never recorded, nor was his first signs of magic. He's practically untraceable because according to the Ministry, he doesn't exist. Dodge isn't even his real name, you know. It's his father's street name borne from his fighting skills. Elf carries it on because I don't think he himself knows what his real name is.'

'Wow,' Remus whispered, a new found respect for the young man rising inside him. 'He's really fucked, isn't he?'

Gideon laughed. 'That's one way to put it. Fay uses the term 'gifted'. Also, as you've noticed, Elf can charm his way out of any situation.' He chuckled at the blush that spread across Remus's face and clapped him on the back. 'He's a good kid, despite always trying to cop a feel. I just hope the others don't bully him too much.'

xxx

'Where are you taking me, Moony? And why did I have to leave the bike with James? God knows what he'll do with it.' Sirius groaned as Remus pulled him into a dark, empty alleyway. 'You're not going to molest me in public, are you? We could go to jail for that, you know.' The light dancing in his eyes told Remus that Sirius wouldn't quite mind being taken advantage of in a dirty alley or going to prison for it.

'Don't be stupid,' Remus chided, punching Sirius lightly on the shoulder. 'You know that Dumbledore wants me to go tomorrow, right?'

'Don't remind me,' Sirius replied darkly.

Remus kissed him on the forehead as reassurance. 'I wanted to give you your Christmas present early.'

Sirius looked around warily. 'It doesn't involve garbage, I hope?'

Remus bit his lip, smiling weakly. 'No, but it's not much and part of it's useless since we've already had dinner at the meeting. But I was hoping you'd like it anyways, and-'

'Moony,' Sirius said, firmly holding Remus's shoulders. 'You're rambling, and it's cold out here.'

Remus smiled nervously. 'Yeah, sorry. See, I kind of asked the others about what to get you this Christmas because you always have everything. Wormtail said socks, can you believe it? Socks, because you always have holes at the toes, which I know you make on purpose and –'

'Moony!' Sirius whined, now rubbing his sides to get warmer.

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Anyway, Prongs said that I should take you out, you know. Like on a date, 'cause we've never been on one.' At Sirius's shocked expression, Remus hastened to explain, 'We don't have to do it, if you don't want to. I mean, you're not a girl or anything, but it would be nice. And Lily suggested I take you to the theatre, so-'

'I don't want to watch a play, Moony,' Sirius groaned. 'My parents took me to those all the time and I always slept through half of it.'

Remus flicked Sirius on the forehead. 'No, you daft mutt; a movie theatre. I've never taken you to one, have I?'

Remus had definitely peaked Sirius's interest if the wide eyed, eager expression was anything to pass by. When Sirius shook his head vigourously, Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around his lover as he apparated them into another pathway he knew was close to a movie theatre. He quickly let go when he noticed a few people making their way to the place they were standing.

'Is that it?' Sirius asked, looking skeptically at the dull orange building and the brightly coloured movie posters. 'They're not even moving,' he complained further, poking one of the posters as they walked in. 'What fun is a picture if it doesn't move and oh-' Sirius stopped mid walk, causing Remus to bump into his back as he picked up his nose and gave it an experimental sniff in a very doggish manner. 'What's that smell, Moony?'

Remus scrunched up his nose. 'What smell? I don't smell anything.'

Sirius sniffed again, twirling around on his heels and causing people to stare at them oddly. 'That,

Moony! That...that...it's making my mouth water...don't you smell it?'

Remus laughed, comprehension finally dawning. 'It's just popcorn, Padfoot,' he explained, trying

hard not to laugh.

Sometimes Remus forgot how the muggle world was still very new to Sirius. He was born a Black after all and had known even less than most wizards did when he'd joined Hogwarts. Remus remembered how Sirius had entirely adopted the muggle lifestyle as the years went by, first doing it just to spite his family and then carrying it on out of sheer fascination. It helped to be living with Remus, who was half blood and lived with muggles most of his life, and it was also a good thing that Sirius was a better pupil than Arthur Weasley. That man still asked Remus about 'ecklectricity' nearly every time they met.

'I'll get you some after we go inside. Just let me pick the movie, okay Padfoot?'

Sirius nodded distractedly, still enamoured by the overpowering aroma of buttered popcorn that seemed to dominate the entire building. 'I'm having this stuff for breakfast tomorrow...and lunch... and dinner.'

Remus rolled his eyes, choosing not to humour Sirius with an answer as he looked at all the possible choices he had. Inwardly, he wondered which hall was likely to be most empty; he very much intended to hold Sirius against his molestation charges. In fact, he needed to find a movie that was so impossibly ridiculous that no one except the two of them would actually pay to watch it. As if by some miracle of God, the spotlight shone on a brilliantly animated poster, and Remus quickly strode over to the ticket counter, dragging Sirius by the shoulder (it was a fire hazard to leave him alone).

'Two tickets to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, please.'

Remus's realised, as he entered the hall, that his prediction had been spot on. The hall was practically empty, save for four other people. Two of whom Remus knew were here to nap in a place where they had sufficient heat; while the other two, a young couple, were probably here with the same intentions as Remus and Sirius (oblivious as he may be). Still, as necessary precaution, Remus looked around, carefully inspecting all the occupants, the lights and their angles.

'There...the last seat at the right corner,' Remus pointed to Sirius, confident that no one would be able to see them there. Inwardly, he thanked his fifth grade Math teacher and the difficult time she

gave him when learning degrees and angles. 'The view will be perfect there,' he added as incentive, in case Sirius was having second thoughts. 'Why don't you go ahead, and I'll bring the popcorn and a couple of drinks, all right?'

Sirius brightened up. 'Get lots of it, Moony, and don't bring any of that Diet soda. It tastes like shit and none of us need it. We're skinny enough to start with.'

By the time Remus beat the long line at the snack counter and returned with enough popcorn to keep Sirius happy for the rest of the day and two bottles of fizzy soda (not diet, mind you. That time was a mistake), the movie had already started. Predictably so, Sirius was engrossed; he was sitting on the edge of his seat, back bent, eyes wide, and mouth stuck in a permanent 'oh'.

'No weapon, no motive, no clues. All we have to go on is this bloody corpse.'

'Look again, Harry. That's not blood. It's tomato juice!'

'Enjoying the movie, Padfoot?' Remus asked, taking his seat and setting the popcorn between them.

Sirius grinned and nodded, blindly reaching behind him for the popcorn. 'It's tomato juice, can you believe it, Moony? I mean, this stuff's wackier than Dumbledore in pink stripy knickers. Absolutely, bloody brilliant!'

Remus winced at the mental picture of Dumbledore that popped inside his head. Sirius didn't seem to have noticed and simply lay back on his seat, propping his feet up on the chair in front of him and laughing at some ridiculously bad jokes. Remus shook his head hopelessly, slinging an arm around Sirius's shoulder and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Sirius turned to him questioningly. 'What was that for?'

'Because I can,' Remus replied smugly, trailing more kisses down his lover's jaw and neck.

Sirius smile lasted a millisecond before his face contorted in anger and shock. 'Can you believe that Richardson bloke; trying to make a fool out of those people! Like no one saw that tomato attack on the beach!'

The back of Remus's head hit the seat as he groaned in frustration. Trust Sirius Black to find entertainment in a movie called Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. For what seemed like the next few hours but what was actually minutes, Remus was subjected to the mindless torture of watching tomatoes, tomatoes, and even more violent and aggressive tomatoes.

'That Smith fellow's fantastic, Moony! I wonder where he gets his costumes from...that beard looks practically real!'

From the corner of his eyes, Remus could see the young couple in the front seat snogging heavily and sighed in boredom and frustration.

He played with Sirius's hair idly, curling it between his fingers, massaging the scalp slightly at the base. Apart from a slight sound of content, Sirius seemed unaffected, stuffing more popcorn into his mouth as he stared, transfixed, into the wide screen. Remus frowned, annoyed but determined. He moved his ministrations to the back of Sirius's neck, rubbing slow tantalising circles he knew drove Sirius wild, dipping his fingers past the shirt collar and following the path of his finger's with his lips shortly after.

Remus scowled at Sirius's complete impassiveness. He was going to kill Lily for suggesting the idea of a movie. It was obvious what was going to happen, yet the Remus had completely overlooked it. Of course Sirius would be fascinated; this was, after all, Sirius fucking Black – king of complete idiocy. Remus should have offered to take him out for breakfast or something, or maybe a visit to the museum (not the zoo; that would be dangerous...for the animals).

'Padfoot...' Remus growled irritably.

Sirius took a sip from his drink. 'Hm?'

Remus grabbed Sirius by the chin, turned his face forcefully, and crashed their lips together in a fierce kiss, wasting no time to plunder Sirius's mouth with his tounge or bite teasingly into his lower lip. Remus grinned triumphantly as Sirius moaned quietly into his mouth and allowed himself to be pulled into Remus's lap so that their bodies were flush together.

'Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags.'

'Moony?' Sirius whispered breathlessly, resting his forehead against Remus's and tangling his

fingers in soft brown hair.

'...He means fruits, sir.'

Remus smiled, brushing his thumb against Sirius's cheek. 'Gods...yeah?' 'I don't get it.'

xxx

Remus took a last drag of his cigarette and looked at Sirius's profile, sharpened by the dim streetlights. They'd chosen to walk home instead of apparating because (as Remus helpfully supplied), all good dates ended with the couple walking each other home. It gave them a chance to talk and be romantic, Remus thought, remembering all the movies and shows he watched on television with his mother.

There was a curfew, he knew, set by both the wizard and muggle community; it was dangerous times after all, and one could never know where the next murder might strike. Still, Remus figured it wouldn't hurt to make one day an exception; they were both skilled wizards and it was a present for Sirius (who smelled disturbingly like a tub of popcorn).

'Can we bring James to watch the movie again, Moony? I bet he'd love it, too!' Sirius grinned, looking happier and more relaxed than he had in a long time, sending pleasant bursts of joy through Remus.

'Sure, Padfoot, but the two of you can go alone. I'd rather die than watch that shit again. Honestly, tomatoes taking over the world.'

Sirius rolled his eyes like Remus was the biggest imbecile on the planet. 'It's symbolic, Moony; I'd think that was obvious. It shows that the things that we usually neglect and consider harmless are what comes back and bites us in the arse.'

'Bollocks. You're making that up, I can tell,' Remus grouched. 'You just like the idea of murdering tomatoes.'

'Moony, my hopeless friend, you simply cannot think beyond the horizons. You shall forever remain tied down to your facts and your books. I pity you, my love, you and your feeble mind.'

Remus punched Sirius in the shoulder. 'Oh hush. You're in no position to pity me, what with your track record.'

'Hm...' Their fingers brushed together, and Sirius entwined his index with Remus's pinky briefly before letting go. 'Did you talk to your mother recently, Moony? She owled again, you know, and I think she called Lily a couple of times, too.'

Remus shrugged. 'I didn't think it was important. She knows where I'm going.'

Sirius frowned at Remus's casual indifference. 'I'm sure she'd want to hear it from your mouth though. I think she wants you over for Christmas or maybe New Years.'

'Well, I won't even be here, will I?'

'You could have visited her earlier. You know she worries abou-'

'She doesn't want me there, Padfoot,' Remus replied coldly. 'She can't even look me straight in the face anymore, so what good will my visit do her except torture her even further. Now please, let's not talk about this, I'm begging you. I really don't want to argue with you on this matter, especially not tonight.'

Remus looked so sad and pathetic that Sirius couldn't help but let the matter drop with a heavy sigh. He didn't say anything further, walking quietly and letting Remus tangle their fingers together as they walked into an abandoned street – a shortcut that people rarely used because of the state of the roads.

'Did you see that new kid in today's meeting: Dodge?' Remus asked, breaking the silence between them.

Sirius snorted. 'Yeah, I'm babysitting him for our next few missions. Bloody boring patrol stuff, too; wouldn't do to endanger his diapered little arse.'

'Really?'

'Ahan, Caradoc Dearborn offered to be his mentor, but he chose me instead.' Sirius grimaced. 'So now I'm stuck because Moody figured it would be the perfect way to exact revenge upon me for what happened last class.'

'I don't blame him, really. You did knock the man out for two whole hours.'

'It was a mistake!' Sirius cried out. 'I lost my temper!'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You're always losing your temper, Padfoot, I wish you'd think more and act on instinct less. It's really dangerous; the way you work sometimes. It's like you're charging headfirst into death.'

'Worried, Moony?' Sirius smirked, raising an eyebrow and swinging their entwined hands slightly. 'Don't worry your pretty little head, mate, you know I always keep safe.'

Remus smiled, lifting his other hand to tuck errant strands of black hair behind Sirius's ears. 'In any case, I'd advise you to keep safe of Dodge's hands. He might try to grope you. I can tell you right now that he didn't choose you as mentor for your skill with the wand.' He glanced slyly at Sirius's crotch. 'Not the wooden one, at least.'

Sirius laughed, smacking Remus up the head. 'I'll keep that in mind then. Besides, I really think its

Dodge who should be wary of me, don't you Moony?'

Remus didn't miss the mischievous glint in Sirius's eyes. 'I know what you're thinking, Padfoot, and I'm warning you. Don't you dare harass that poor child.'

'Poor child?' A minute ago, you told me he likes to cop a feel every once in a while! Besides, he's only a year or two younger than us. That hardly constitutes as a child.'

'I'm serious, Padfoot, he's young and he's new. You're supposed to be his mentor, not some twat who gives him a hard time,' Remus said sternly.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus's waist and pulled the werewolf flush against him. 'It's just a harmless bit of fun, Moony. Stuff James and I used to pull on first years. I'd probably just turn into a Grim or something; give him a good scare.' He nudged the skin behind Remus's ear affectionately with his nose. 'It could be like an inauguration.'

Remus was about to retort when he noticed that they were currently standing in front of the steps to their flat. Both their hands dropped immediately, and they moved away to put a good distance between each other. Remus tried hard not to show too much disappointment.

'Time flies, eh?' Sirius asked as they walked up the staircase, jangling the keys to their flat in his pocket.

'I guess so.'

They stopped at their front door, Sirius still fiddling with the bundle of keys. 'Thanks for tonight, Moony; I really did have a lot of fun.' He looked around a little and planted a quick kiss on Remus's lips. 'It really was the best present ever.'

Remus blushed. 'Well, I had fun, too, even though you were too busy with the movie to pay me any notice.'

Sirius shrugged, unlocking the door. 'You'll always be the centre of my attention, Moony, you should know that by now.'

Remus smiled softly, but said nothing.

Sirius was looking at him with a dreamy sort of expression; eyes glazed over, eyebrows arched underneath messy black hair, lips curved in a teasing yet confident smile. 'So,' he said in a low, husky voice, holding Remus's hands between his own. 'Do you want to come in for coffee or something?'

For a moment, they both stared at each other – Remus looking incredulous, and Sirius looking cocky and as if he was trying to hold back laughter at the same time. They both burst out laughing simultaneously, falling over each other and clutching the other's shoulders for support.

'You absolute prick!' Remus cried out between chuckles.

'Hey, you're the one who wanted it to be all date-y and what not,' Sirius gasped as Remus wrestled him against the wall.

'That bit doesn't bloody count if we live together, you git!'

'KEEP IT DOWN YOU NASTY HOOLIGANS! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!'

There were more disapproving shouts and screams, and Remus and Sirius quickly muffled their laughter with a hand placed on the other's mouth.

BLOODY, THOUGHTLESS-'

'Bet they think we're drunk,' Sirius said, still chortling as he pulled Remus into the flat and pinned him against the door.

Remus caught his breath only to burst out laughing again; he was glad to have Sirius holding him up or he'd definitely have fallen over by now. 'I feel like it, too. Do you think there was something in the popcorn?'

Sirius licked a trail up Remus's neck. 'You never know with these muggles. Enough talking. Does this date of ours end with you fucking me in the bedroom or not?'

Remus arched his neck to give Sirius's tounge better access. 'Gods, I should hope so.'

xxx

Sirius woke up in the morning to find Remus running around in a frenzy in his boxer shorts, his wet hair flying all over the place, his shirt hanging open, and a cigarette dangling at the corner of his lips as he pulled out clothes randomly and stuffed them into his rucksack.

'Moony?'

Remus jumped and turned to face Sirius. 'Oh, Padfoot, good, you're awake.'

'Hm,' Sirius mumbled, sitting up and sleepily pulling on his boxers. 'You're leaving already.'

'I'm late actually,' Remus replied, zipping his trousers and walking towards Sirius. 'Dumbledore wanted me earlier, but I overslept.'

'Hm,' Sirius said again, pulling Remus to him and working Remus's shirt buttons close.

Remus nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette. 'Listen, I made some breakfast for you. It's got a warming charm on it, so you can have it whenever you like. I did the grocery shopping, too, so you won't end up starving yourself or anything. '

Sirius hummed, finishing the last of Remus's buttons and buckling Remus's belt; he fastened it by an extra hole, making it impossibly tight out of pure spite.

Remus made a disgruntled grunt, but otherwise said nothing about Sirius taking revenge on his waist line. 'And don't eat take out while I'm away; you remember your curry fiasco, don't you? Pester Prongs and Lily; eat all three meals at their house if you have to. I don't want you getting sick again.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the hairbrush out of Remus's hands, carefully combing through honey brown hair and parting it into a neat line.

'I picked up our laundry too, so your robes are all clean and pressed for work.' Remus winced as Sirius pulled on a knot. 'They're on the left side of the cupboard, so don't mess them up with any of mine.'

'I won't,' Sirius groused, as he helped Remus into his robes and buttoned them.

'If you need anything, Padfoot, if you're in trouble, you call Prongs or Wormtail immediately. You understand?'

Sirius rolled his eyes, pulled the fag out of Remus's lips, took a drag himself, and stubbed it against the bedpost. 'I'll be fine, Moony. You don't have to mother me. You've been gone plenty of times before, and I took care of myself all right.'

Remus smiled softly, cupping Sirius's cheek. "I know that...I'm just trying to buy more time with you, I guess,' he admitted. 'I don't want to leave, really.'

Sirius laugh came out more high pitched than intended and before he knew what he was doing, he pulled Remus into a tight hug, snuffling into the soft cloth of Remus's chest and smelling fresh detergent. Sirius felt Remus set his chin on the crown of his head, his hands rubbing Sirius's back in haphazard motion.

'I love you,' Remus whispered, kissing his hair.

Sirius laughed again and pushed Remus away lightly. 'Go on then,' he said, shoving Remus's stomach with his palm. 'Go save the world and what not. I'll see you later.'

xxx

'You're still coming for dinner at our place, aren't you, Sirius?' Lily asked, hooking arms with Alice Longbottom casually. 'Frank and Alice have some good news to share apparently.'

Alice blushed and Frank beamed proudly at two of the Marauders and Lily, but otherwise said nothing. He never was the kind to say much, not unless he was bleeding drunk anyway.

They were at another Order meeting; nothing too serious, just a little Christmas celebration to spread holiday cheer during dark times. Everyone had cooked and brought something from their respective homes to join into a big feast for Christmas lunch/tea. Of course, Sirius, being unable to do anything domestic, had brought the wine and chocolate biscuits.

'Padfoot hardly needs an invitation,' James snorted. 'He practically lives in our house now that Moony's gone. Poor doggy misses his master – whipped!' he whispered the last part into Sirius's ear so that Frank and Alice couldn't hear.

Sirius cuffed him up the head. 'I'll have you know that the only reason I bother coming to that flat of yours is because Lily is the best cook I know. Also,' he continued, kissing Lily's cheek, 'who can deny the company of such a lovely woman.'

Alice groaned and Frank rolled his eyes, letting out an exasperated 'oh please!'

James glared. 'I know a complete lack of social life makes you horny, Padfoot, but that doesn't give you permission to hit on my wife.'

Sirius smirked. 'Your wife has been pining for a chance to sleep with me for ages, Prongs, but you've always been in our way.' He wrapped his arms around Lily's waist and whispered loudly in her ears, 'It's okay, my love, Prongs knows now; there's nothing left to hide.'

Alice and Lily burst out laughing. 'Dream on, Black,' Lily replied, pushing away Sirius gently.

'Oh, Alice then,' Sirius said, grinning and wrapping his arms around Frank's wife this time. 'You've always been my first choice, love, but that Evans was so annoyingly persistent. She seduced mewrongly, you know!'

'You're really full of shit, Sirius!' Alice replied, giggling but unlike Lily, hugging him back.

'It's a pity really that little Peter couldn't come,' Frank said, wiping tears of mirth from the corner of his eyes. 'What kind of arse makes a man work on Christmas? Poor bloke.'

Lily nodded in agreement. 'He's always working, have you noticed? When's the last time we saw him outside official Order meetings? He doesn't even join the boys for drinks anymore.'

James shrugged. 'What can you do? A job's a job. Wormtail has to support his mother and sister now; he can't just up and quit whenever he likes. Besides, he said he'll be over tomorrow with presents...He tells me he's buying something special for you this year, Lily, to celebrate our baby and all.'

Lily blushed. 'Peter's a sweetheart.'

'Bloody rat's stealing my title, he is,' grumbled Sirius, 'only minutes ago, I was the sweetheart of the group.'

'It's a miracle your head fits through the door with an ego like yours, Sirius,' Alice said, rolling her eyes at Lily but fighting back a smile.

Sirius was about to retort when the clock struck six. 'Oh, shit. I have to go.'

'Nonsense, Sirius, you're coming at our place directly for dinner with Frank and Alice,' Lily said disapprovingly, as Sirius made a grab for the leather jacket he'd thrown aside on a nearby chair. 'What's the hurry?'

'I need to get to the cleaners. I wore Remus's robes to our field practice last time and got them filthy; he'll kill me if he finds out.' Sirius pulled the zipper and wrapped his scarf around his neck. 'The cleaners close at seven because of curfew and then they won't open until after Christmas. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy Moony's wrath when he comes back.'

James shook his head sadly. 'Whipped,' he mouthed silently and smirked when Sirius held up two fingers before walking out the door.

'Mr. Black! Wait!' Young Elphias Dodge's voice rang above the thrum of Sirius's motorbike. 'No patrols tonight, Elf, you can go home if you like,' Sirius said, revving up the engine.

Elphias stopped in front of the bike, panting from his run. 'I know that, Mr. Black, Mr. Moody told me to go wit' you. Says e'ryone should be goin' 'round in pair or groups o' sorts.'

Sirius tightened his scarf around his neck. Over the past week, he'd taken quite a liking to the young boy; Elphias was an eager and fast learner, charmingly humble, and a good conversationalist when you were bored out of your mind. Also, he knew how to take a good prank (though he was still convinced he saw the Grim earlier). So far, Remus's warnings of Dodge's wandering hands had gone unneeded; although Sirius did notice the boy's extremely flirtatious nature (Dodge's newest target being Marlene McKinnon), Elphias had been thoroughly decent (if not lacking a bit of tact) throughout.

'Moody sent you or you volunteered because you wanted a ride on the bike?' Sirius asked, already handing over the helmet Remus sometimes used to Elphias.

Elphias simply grinned as he strapped his helmet on and sat behind him.

'Oh and please don't call me Mr. Black, Elf. It makes me feel like an old man. We're all equals here in the Order.'

'All righ', Mr. Black,' Elf said with a cocky smirk. 'Why not apparate, sir? Wouldn' it be safer?'

Sirius rolled his eyes as cast Dillusionment charms on both of them and the bike. Most people would be home by now, but it still wasn't wise to have a flying motorbike in plain sight, especially in a muggle neighbourhood. 'You'll call me Sirius if you don't want to be thrown off this bike, am I clear? And I wanted a nice quiet, peaceful ride home actually. I'm afraid my chances of that are ruined,' he said, looking pointedly at Dodge and taking off at a steep angle.

Elphias made a surprised little sound at the back of his throat and clutched at Sirius's waist tightly. 'Tha's the first choir I's seen today, can you believe that, sir?' he said, pointing to one of the houses below them where sure enough, there was a small group of children singing while three of the adults played instruments.

Sirius dived down a little closer and to his utter disappointment, heard the familiar tunes of White Christmas. If Remus were here, Sirius mused, he would argue that it was a beautiful song; a song that spoke about the spirit of Christmas and that Sirius just failed to understand the true meaning behind the soulful music. Then, Sirius would say that it didn't matter if it was because Christmas was supposed to be about joy and happiness, and not slow depressing music that nearly put you to sleep. God, he missed Remus.

''s beautiful, innit?' Elphias asked, leaning precariously in his seat to catch a better glimpse of them.

Sirius shook his head and pulled the boy by the back of his coat before he fell over. 'It's dull. I'd rather add some holiday cheer, if you don't mind.' Sirius left no room for questions as he pulled out his wand and with an elegant swish, charmed the instruments to playWerewolves of London instead.

Elphias burst out laughing as the choir turned into a confused mess, some of the children glaring at the band for playing the wrong tune, while others trying to catch up with the music while still singing White Christmas. The spectators, a small family of four people, were battling between expressions of puzzlement and disgust.

'Awooooo!' Dodge howled, head thrown back and still laughing. 'Awooooo!'

Sirius chuckled, feeling a little better and threw down the little muggle money he had at the choir's feet. 'For you, Moony,' he whispered happily before climbing up the sky again.

'So,' said Dodge, once they'd gained sufficient altitude and flown far away from the people. 'He's your boyfrien', isn' he?'

Sirius shivered and tugged at his jacket; he'd forgotten how much colder it would be this high up. 'What are you talking about?' he asked, brows furrowing as he noticed the thick mist that erupted from his every word.

'Remy...the two o' you are goin' out together, ain't you? Like boyfrien's and stuff.'

Sirius turned back to look at Dodge incredulously. Remus had told him that Dodge knew about their relationship, but no one had ever used the termboyfriend before. It sounded ridiculous even in his head; like Sirius was some kind of school girl. 'His name's Remus.'

'Bit rich coming from someone who calls him Moony, innit? 'Sides, you din't answer the question.'

Again, Sirius mused at Dodge's complete lack of tact. It was good that the boy spoke his mind, but it did tend to get a little intrusive sometimes. 'Yes, we're together. What of it?' Sirius snapped defensively.

Elphias grinned toothily. 'Well, must be fun...bein' with a werewolf an' all. I mean, does he have superpowers; can silver really burn 'im; do the changes 'urt? Is he ahem...aggressive in bed?'

Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow. 'You seem curious in matters that don't concern you, Elf. Certainly can't be healthy.'

'Come on, sir,' Dodge groaned, nudging him lightly. 'I'm old enuf'...'nother year an' I'll be of age and every thin'! 'Sides, I'm freezing me bollocks off ridin' on your bike. Migh' as well give me somethin' to 'member.'

Sirius laughed and shook his head exasperatedly. 'You're impossible, Elf. Well, let's see...no, yes, yes, and sometimes.'

Elphias's eyes widened comically. 'Sometimes...really?' 'Close your mouth, Elf, you'll ca-'

'Christ, what's going on down there?' Elphias cried, suddenly fisting the back of Sirius's jacket and causing Sirius to lose control of the bike momentarily.

Sirius steadied them quickly and looked down, following Elphias's gaze. 'Oh fuck, it's an attack! Twelve Death Eaters...I can't believe this! On bloody Christmas, too!'

'I know those people, sir; they're wizards!'

'Shit, fuck; there are children there!' Sirius dove towards the ground, casting a heavy silencing charm upon the bike as he did. 'Get off, Elf!' he cried out, skidding to a stop. 'Get off now and call for help! Send a Patronus back in the Headquarters, everyone should still be there!'

Elphias stumbled, nearly falling over from Sirius's insistent push. 'What about you?' he screamed desperately, wincing when Sirius removed the Dillusionment charm with a forceful tap on his head.

'I'm going to try to take them down or at least hold them back till help arrives,' Sirius said, his voice unnaturally calm and a steely glint in his light grey eyes.

Elphias grabbed him by the arm. 'You can't do that! There are too many of them there! They'll slaughter you!'

'You're wasting my time, Elphias!' Sirius growled angrily, snatching his arm away and twisting the handles of the motorbike experimentally. 'If you think I'm going to sit and watch innocent children die, you've got another thing coming! Besides, I'm Dillusioned; they won't know what hit them! Now go!'

Before Elphias could protest further, Sirius had driven away; the only sign of anyone in the vicinity being the tell tale glimmer of the Dillusionment charm cast on the black haired man. Elphias looked away, unable to see what was going to happen next and concentrated on producing his Patronus.

'Breathe, Elf,' he told himself, as a small silver Onyx appeared from the top of his wand. 'Focus, call for help. Mr. Black needs help.'

A shrill scream pierced the night air, and Elphias whipped around to see Sirius lying crumpled on the ground, his Dillusionment charm lifted and his motorbike splayed on top of his legs, restricting him to his position on the ground. Sirius, however, was undeterred and continually aiming spells at all the Death Eaters, but in vain as most of them were dodged or deflected. He was heavily outnumbered.

'Shite,' Elphias swore, clutching his wand tighter and preparing himself for a fight he was sure to lose. He was a good dueler, yes, but he knew his limitations. 'Merlin, help me.' He'd never felt this scared his entire life; his hands shaking, his heart pumping wildly, adrenaline rushing into his veins.

It was when Elphias was running towards the house with every intention to help Sirius that he saw the words form on the Death Eater's mouth before he'd actually heard it. Elphias's reflexes were quick; his wand rose from practiced instinct and he aimed, knowing only too well that he wasn't going to be successful even before he cast the spell.

'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

The familiar jet of green light shot forcefully from the Death Eater's wand, brushing past Elphias and missing him by a hairsbreadth as it made its way towards Sirius with lightening speed. Sirius, who was completely incapable of moving even an inch.

'MR. BLACK!'

xxx

'Argh!' Remus fell to the floor with a loud thud, clutching his heart as unspeakable pain shot through it. His chest burned red hot pins, needles and daggers shooting through it, tightening, convulsing, piercing and caving. It was worse than the transformation, worse than any sort of pain he'd ever felt, and Remus knew as he cried and screamed and howled, knew that his time had come, that he was going to die right now and he was going to welcome it. Anything to make the searing pain stop, anything to make it go away. Sweat trickled down his head, his back, his chest; his breath came as short gasps of pain and need; his chest heaved and his head pounded from exertion; his heart was beating so loud and fast Remus was sure it was going to pop out of his rib cage any moment.

Then suddenly, it stopped. It didn't fade away slowly like most pain; no, it just burnt out like it had never been there, and Remus found himself gasping for air like a stranded fish and clutching at his heart tightly. He could feel hands helping him up; shoulders supporting him; a cool wet cloth wiping his face and neck.

'Call the ambulance now! Hurry, Matilda!'

The tears that had been pooling in Remus's eyes fell, his vision clearing to reveal the familiar, worried faces of the waiter and the man that had been sitting on the stool beside him.

'I'm fine,' Remus croaked out, forcing his knees to straighten and help him stand on his own. 'Please, don't call the hospital. I'm fine'

The waiter's (Larry?) hold tightened even further. 'You're having some kind of heart attack, sir, we need to get you to the hospital immediately. Please don't stress yourself.'

'No,' Remus protested weakly, tugging at the hands that were holding him up. 'Look, they're just... they're just panic attacks,' he lied, 'I have them all the time. I just need some rest, and everything will be fine, I promise.'

'He does seem to be fine,' said the other man, scrutinising Remus carefully. 'Whatever it was seems to have gone down.'

Larry looked hesitant.

'Look, there's a couple of pounds in my bag,' Remus said desperately, now fighting the exhaustion and sleep that seem to command him. 'Just take how much ever you need and put me in a room, okay? Please, I just need to get some rest. I'll leave early tomorrow.'

Larry nodded reluctantly.

By the time, Remus had been half carried upstairs to his room and deposited on the bed, he was considerably less tired; he seemed to have gained his energy a little bit. His eyes still strained for sleep, but he brought himself to muster up enough strength to take a shower before getting ready for bed. The pain had faded into a distant memory, and Remus wondered if the incident had all been in his imagination as he watched layers of grime and blood wash off his pale skin.

His mission had proved easier than he'd expected. There was a fight, a scuffle of sorts when Remus had first entered into the colony but that was purely instinctual. Remus had given no forewarning of his arrival, and the members of the werewolf pack had been threatened. They had thought he was a Ministry official or an angered citizen, here to burn them out.

After that misunderstanding, however, the werewolves had been wonderfully courteous and welcoming, despite the dilapidated state of their dwellings. They had welcomed Remus as one of their own, listened to what Remus had to say patiently, and given their replies with the utmost respect for Dumbledore and the Order. They hadn't even been an actual pack; they were more like a group or a club of human beings who looked after each other after being shunned by the rest of the society. Many of them had secret lives outside; jobs, sometimes families, and only visited to talk about their worries, or lend a helping hand, or even just to feel like they belonged. It was sad and wonderful at the same time.

The journey back had been longer and more tiring because he'd had travel on foot most of the way because apparition was easily detected. Remus had been reluctant to stop, aching to just go home, but as night fell and exhaustion took over, he opted to stay at an inn in Derbyshire for the night. He had been casually drinking and chatting to the man sitting beside him when that...attack...that pain had come.

Remus pulled on his boxer shorts and collapsed into his bed. Blindly, his foot searched for his rucksack at the base of the bed and hooked itself in one of the straps, pulling it to his stomach. Rummaging inside it, Remus found what he was looking for and pulled the crumpled photograph out with care so as not to tear it. It was picture from James and Lily's wedding, all the Marauders and Lily smiling and waving at the camera cheerfully – a favourite or Remus's and something he kept at all times with him.

Remus had taken the picture out only once on the thirteen days that he was away from home. Tonight, however, something pulled at Remus's heartstrings as he looked at Sirius's smiling face. Tonight, there was this urge; this longing to see Sirius, to touch him, to feel him, to kiss him, to make love to him, to make sure he was okay. Though his heartbeat had slowed back to normal, he felt a strange pull, not entirely painful, as he thought of his lover.

Remus caressed the image of Sirius with his thumb. 'What are you doing now, Padfoot?' he quietly asked no one. He looked at the picture one last time before sliding it underneath his pillow and surrendering to the sleep that had been trying to overcome him for so long.

chapter 22

December, 1979

'I'm looking for,' Remus panted out, sliding to a stop in front on the reception desk, 'Sirius Black.'

The receptionist (Tabitha Williams, her name tag read) blinked, astonished my Remus's sudden appearance. 'Er...just hold on a minute,' she said in her best professional voice as, much to Remus's irritation, she bent down to look through the hospital records. 'Ah, he's down to your second left, room two-o-eight.'

Remus muttered a thank you before taking off in the fastest sprint of his life, bumping shoulders with healers and other visitors as he hurried to get past them. His heart was beating at a furious pace; his mind conjuring up mental images of what could have happened to Sirius. He had never quite heard what Dumbledore had said after their brief meeting regarding the werewolf mission, which Remus had attended to as soon as he'd reached London. He had simply managed to catch the words "Sirius", "hurt", and "Mungo's" before he had dashed into the fireplace.

'Two-o-five, two-o-six,' Remus counted down as he passed each room, 'two-o-seven, two-o-' he stopped when he noticed a Medi-witch and wizard walking out of the door. The Medi-witch carried a tray full of potions (one, which Remus noticed, was Dreamless Sleep), and she kept glancing at the Medi-wizard worryingly as he painfully limped beside her. The man looked like he'd been kicked in the balls.

Remus let them pass before bursting in through the door. 'Sirius!'

Remus recognised that head of short, black hair anywhere, even if most of it was hidden beneath stark white sheets along with the rest of the body.

Sirius got up blearily upon hearing his name, his sheets sliding off his shoulders and pooling in his lap. 'Moony?' He blinked a few times before rubbing both eyes with his fists.

Remus's eyes rapidly scanned Sirius's form, searching for any sort of injury or mark that might indicate to what happened; if he was okay; if he was really as hurt as Remus's morbid imaginations had made them out to be. Somewhat satisfied when he found nothing, Remus fast walked to Sirius's bedside, carelessly brushing past the curtains that separated Sirius's bed from the next patient's.

'Hello, Padfoot,' Remus muttered softly, affectionately, as he stroked Sirius's cheek with the back of his hand.

Sirius smiled contently, leaning into Remus's touch. 'Moony,' his voice sounded tired,

complementing the soft droop of his eyes. 'I knew you were coming. No one believed me, but I knew...'

The blue curtains behind Remus swung open noisily. 'He's right, you know. He was really restless today; wouldn't take his potions and when they tried to force feed him, he kicked one of them in the balls.'

For a second, Remus's mind shut down from sensory overload and the pain it took to process so much information together. He reached out to touch the figure that now sat upright in front of him, legs swinging merrily. 'Prongs? What the hell?'

James smiled cheerfully. 'Afternoon, Moony.'

'Dumbledore didn't tell me you were- fuck!' Remus got up swiftly and hugged James. 'What are you doing here?' he asked, disentangling, but keeping an anxious arm around James's shoulder. 'How did you - are you alright?' A sudden thought came up in his head. 'Is Lily alright? Shit, James, the baby-'

James grabbed his upper arms firmly and shook him. 'Calm down, Moony, everyone's fine, I promise. Lily's a little frazzled, but otherwise safe. She's at my mum's place.'

Remus heaved a sigh of relief, feeling embarrassingly sentimental and pulling James into another hug. James laughed but otherwise said nothing. His hold on Remus tightened slightly though, betraying the casualness in his tone.

'We met him, Moony,' James said quietly into Remus's shoulder. 'Lily and I, we met him. Voldemort.'

Remus felt his fist tighten around the back of James' robes from a mixture of anger, fear, and extreme hatred. 'Did he do anything to any of you?' he asked, possessive and protective of all of them suddenly. They were his friends, his family, they were... 'Did he hurt you?'

James smiled reassuringly. 'It wasn't too bad. Couple of bruises and wayward hexes. There were a lot of us, so we scraped through. Can't say it wasn't terrifying though.'

'Moony,' Sirius whined suddenly, alarming Remus who, in all his worry, had almost forgotten that Sirius was right beside them. 'Moony,' he said again, this time pouting and trying to hold up his droopy eyes long enough to look supremely pathetic. 'Prongs is stupid,' he stated, holding his arms out towards Remus like a child.

Remus realised he still had James in a sort of one armed hug and frowned at Sirius's petulant and possessive expression. James, however, simply grinned knowingly, squeezed Remus one more time before planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

'Moony!' Sirius spread his arms wider, hands opening and closing in a beckoning gesture.

Remus, disgusted by the amount of residue saliva James had left on his face and heavily puzzled at his lover's behaviour, pinched the bridge of his nose. He finally shrugged and indulged in Sirius when James's grin threatened to fall off his face and Sirius's whine threatened to make his ears bleed deaf.

'What's wrong with him?' Remus asked James, as Sirius pulled him tighter and snuggled into him, making soft happy noises that sounded more dog than human. 'He's acting odder than normal.'

'Ah,' James said in a mock grim tone, 'He takes five different kinds of potions everyday...they sort of make him a little...' James crossed his eyes as explanation.

'That's not true!' Sirius exclaimed so vehemently that he almost knocked poor Remus off the bed. He pulled Remus back before resuming his adamant position. 'I'm not...I'm not-' Sirius tried to cross his eyes, scrunching up his face and looking remarkably constipated.

James looked at Sirius pointedly. 'You see what I mean?'

Remus didn't know what to say as he watched Sirius give up and rest his head against Remus's chest, drawing patterns into his shirt that felt distinctly like little flowers and hearts. 'You're itchy,' he commented idly, reaching up to scratch Remus's day old stubble instead of his own.

'Don't worry; he'll drop off in a second or two.'

As if in reply, Sirius let out a large snore before snuffling into Remus's shirt.

'Well, that's a relief,' Remus remarked, gently pushing Sirius mouth close before the drool managed to soak his shirt completely. Out of habit, he rubbed Sirius's back soothingly, hand slipping under his hospital robes and finding a heavy set of bandages covering familiar smooth skin. 'What happened, Prongs?' he asked, the worried tone now back in his voice, as he fingered the circle of bandages that wound up from the small of Sirius's back, around his stomach, to just below his chest. 'What happened to all of you?'

'You know what happened, Moony, you're smart enough to figure it out.' James held up a hand when Remus tried to protest. 'I can't tell you the finer details, not here, not now.'

Remus nodded reluctantly.

'We lost a few men,' James continued solemnly. 'The healer says I should be able to get out by tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll explain everything to you then.'

'What about Padfoot?' he asked, absently moving Sirius fringe out of his eyes.

James shrugged. 'I don't know. Padfoot was in a real state, Moony. A day earlier and you would have gone mental; legs broken, arms bleeding, and that wasn't even the worst of it. In fact, they healed those easily; it was his back that really suffered the damage. His skin was totally burnt off and there were traces of Dark magic under his flesh, and they didn't know how to-'

'I don't think I want to hear anymore, James,' Remus said, feeling nauseous. 'I really don't. I'm just glad you're all safe, that's enough for now.'

James looked at him apologetically. 'I don't suppose you'll be sharing the finer details of your mission with us, eh?' he asked, obviously trying to change the subject into something more comfortable.

Remus hoisted Sirius up a fraction, so that his head was now comfortably cradled in the crook of his neck. 'I don't think I can, Prongs. I mean Dumbledore said-'

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud crashing sound, and Remus was only able to catch a glimpse of platinum blond hair before the door banged shut.

'Was that Elf?' Remus looked at James questioningly, to which James simply shrugged. Remus glanced back at the door thoughtfully. Making up his mind, he gently laid Sirius down on the pillows. 'I'll be right back.'

'Elf!' Remus couldn't figure out why the boy was running away from him, and he sped up out of sheer curiosity. 'Elphias, will you please stop?' He finally caught up to the young boy at the entrance of Mungo's, placing a firm, restraining arm on Elphias's shoulder and making him turn around swiftly.

'I'm really sorry, Remy!' Elphias cried out suddenly, startling Remus. 'I tried, hones'!' He really did look desperately sorry, and Remus would have appreciated it more if he knew exactly what Elphias had done to be sorry about.

'What are you talking about? Elf, what-'

Elphias tugged at his hair lightly 'I was suppos'd to watch Mr. Black's back, but I-'

Remus grabbed Elphias by the forearms, squeezing tightly. 'Quiet! Don't you know better than to talk about things like this outside?' Elphias looked more frightened than ever, and Remus realised that he was holding the poor boy a little too hard. Apologetically, he rubbed Elphias's upper arms before letting go. 'Sorry; look, why don't you come back to my flat for a cup of tea and we'll talk there. Does that sound all right?'

'But-'

'Come on, no one's told me anything yet, and I'd like to know what's going on.' He smiled reassuringly. 'You look like you could do with something to eat.'

'I-don' know where to apparate to,' Elphias said nervously. 'I don' wanna cause no trouble or nothin'.'

Remus waved it off, grabbing Elphias by the wrist before he could protest any further and apparating to the front of their flat door.

'Sit down, make yourself comfortable while I make us some tea,' Remus said, getting in and hanging his keys on the hook. 'You can dump your coat on one of the chairs if you like.'

Elphias shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself from the cold. 'You got a very nice 'ome,' he commented courteously, sitting down on the couch.

Remus raised a sardonic eyebrow as he looked around the piles of discarded clothing, dirty plates in the sink, and bit of what looked suspiciously like black dog fur scattered on the floor. The two of them were messy enough when Remus was around, but Sirius seemed to have gone to the point of disgusting these past few days alone. Remus shook his head hopelessly and put the kettle to boil.

'Tell me what happened, Elf.'

Elphias nodded, glancing up briefly at Remus and then quickly looking down. 'Please, Remy, don' be angry.'

'I won't be angry,' Remus said gently as he rummaged inside the fridge to find something edible. 'I'm sorry if I came out a bit brash earlier, Elf. I just came back home today and everything's a complete muddle. I hope you understand.' He salvaged a few pieces of bologna and a packet of bread with flourish.

Elphias shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 'I was walkin' Mr. Black 'ome when we spotted 'em Death Eaters. I tried to stop 'im, I did, I swear it, but 'e told me to send for help and he'd fight. I ran back as fast as I could to help, and tha's when I saw one o' 'em shoot the Kedavra, you know.'

'The Killing Curse?' Remus asked, horrified, and nearly dropping the plate in his hands. James had told him it was bad, but he hadn't for one second thought the Avada Kedavra might have been used.

'Tha's the one. An' Mr. Black couldn' move neither 'cause 'e was trapped under his bike and was tryin' to shoot curses the whole time.'

Remus's fists clenched and unclenched; he needed a fag. 'Merlin. How did he escape?'

'It was shite amazin', Remy, 'e transformed! Into a dog!' Elphias's eyes lit up with childish excitement. 'The curse only grazed his fur a bit.'

Remus remembered what James had said about the injury on Sirius's back and felt his throat tighten. It was a close miss, a lucky one; had the curse touched flesh instead of fur, Sirius would be dead right now. A degree lower, and Remus would be facing the dead body of the one person he'd ever fallen in love with.

'Elphias,' Remus said seriously, now pouring the tea into two individual cups. 'I need to ask you a question and I want you to give a truthful answer, all right?'

Elphias nodded, looking a tad intimidated by Remus's sudden stern tone. 'Did anyone else see Sirius transform?'

'No,' Elphias replied confidently, sitting up straight. 'No one but me.' Remus closed his eyes from relief. 'Good. One lump or two, Elf?'

'Five.'

Remus dropped the sugar into the cup, stirring absently. His hand was shaking from the sheer need of cigarette, but he quelled it down.

'Remy?' Elphias watched Remus unsurely as he laid the tea and sandwiches on a tray. 'There was this Death Eater. I don' think he saw Mr. Black, but...but I think 'e was tryin' to 'elp us...sort of.'

Remus's head shot up and his eyes sharpened.

''E blasted the pipes on the bike 'xactly when Mr. Black transformed. I mean, it could 'ave been bad aim, but it looked deliberate to me eyes. I could be wrong.'

Remus remembered the Death Eater that had helped him and his father during their first attack. 'Did you see him, Elf?' he asked, his heart beating for the answer that was to come as he lay down the tray on the coffee table and sat down beside the boy. 'Did you see what he looked like?'

Elphias shook his head apologetically. 'They was wearing masks, Remy, I didn't see none o' them.' He bit into a sandwich, swallowing quickly. ''E was a bit short though, sorta round too, if you catch me drift.'

Remus frowned; it wasn't the same person. This meant that there was more than one Death Eater who was on their side. Who were they? Did they know of the Order, or were they already working for it? Dumbledore, for all his talk, was a secretive old man; perhaps, they were his spies? Or maybe...maybe they were regretting their decision; maybe they were under the Imperio and fighting it; maybe...there were too many maybes.

'Fuck,' Remus exclaimed, drinking his tea swiftly and scalding his tounge.

'I don' know wha' 'appened after that. The others came, an' Mr. Potter said to take Mr. Black to Mungo's. 'E said I wasn' to come back to fight wit' the others, an' that I was to not leave Mr. Black's side.'

Remus nodded. That sounded very much like something James would say. 'I need a favour from you, Elf, a very important favour. Is that okay?'

'Anythin', Remy,' Elphias replied sincerely, placing a hand over Remus's.

Remus smile uneasily. 'I need you to keep Sirius's Animagus a secret. He's unregistered and if someone found out, it would mean big trouble for him. You haven't told anyone, have you?'

Elphias shook his head vigorously.

Remus heaved a large sigh of relief, feeling a burden being taken off his shoulders. 'Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything.'

'You really love 'im, don' you?' Elphias asked suddenly, his hand enclosing tightly around Remus's as he looked at the werewolf with an unreadable expression.

Remus, taken aback at the forwardness of the question, simple blinked for a while. 'Yes, I do,' he replied, seeing no point in hiding or denying it.

Elphias nodded sadly, taking his hand off of Remus's. 'Then I'm very sorry for all the worry I caused you. I didn' me-'

'Elphias, will you shut up!' Remus snapped. 'The whole time you've been rambling about how everything's your fault and how sorry you are, when as far as I can see, you're not even at fault here. For God's sakes, if it weren't for you, Sirius wouldn't even be alive today.'

Elphias blinked rapidly, looking down at the carpet. 'You're the only one who thinks that, Remy. Everyone else-' Elf's voice cracked unexpectedly and he took a breath to steady himself. 'Everyone else says that it woulda never 'ave 'appened if someone else woulda been with Mr. Black. They say Dumbledore shoulda never have bough' a child like me in the first place.'

'They're just-'

'The Prewetts died, you know,' Elphias stated miserably, still not taking his eyes off the floor. 'In the fight, against five of 'em Death Eaters.'

Remus's body went rigid with shock. The Prewetts? The two brothers whom Remus and Sirius had always flirted with; always had fun with and laughed with? They were the two most brilliant fighters in the Order and the bravest as well. Remus felt a sudden sense of loss at their death and at the same time, a traitorous part of him was thankful that it wasn't James, or Lily, or Peter, or Sirius.

'They had a funeral yesterday.' Elphias sniffed. 'Mary – Marlene – said I wasn' to come 'cause Mrs. Weasley was real upset and it wouldn' 'ave done to have me there.'

Remus frowned, wondering why someone like Marlene, who had always been so kind back in school, would say something like that. Remus placed a comforting hand on the middle of Elphias's back. 'Look Elf-'

'I'm quittin', Remy.' Elphias said, and Remus was surprised to see large tears fall from his eyes. 'I'm quittin' the Order.' He wiped his nose on his sleeve. 'I didn' sign up for this...these killin's, an' these mindless fights. I'm not fit for it either, so I should just go back 'ome. I was better there 'neways.'

Remus rubbed Elphias's back comfortingly, feeling horribly sorry for the poor boy. 'Listen, hey, listen to me. You're just scared, Elf and its okay to be scared, but it's not okay to give up this easily. You saw that attack, right? You saw it, and this was only one of them. These people...these Death Eaters do this sort of thing everyday...they kill people for no reason, they cause trouble, they hurt people, only because they think they're higher than the rest of us.' Remus smiled kindly when Elphias looked up at him. 'They killed my father too, you know, and I gave up for a while...just like you.'

Elphias looked at him with teary, admiring eyes. 'But you came back?' he asked softly. Remus smiled and slapped him lightly on the cheek. 'I came back.'

'Why?'

Why? Sometimes Remus asked himself the same question, and the answer was too complicated, too vast to put into simple words. So he said the next best thing: 'I found my own reasons to fight, and so will you...'

Suddenly, Elphias pulled Remus into a tight hug, sniffling lightly and rubbing his eyes on the cloth of Remus's shoulder. Remus patted his back awkwardly, not sure what else to do. 'Do I 'ave to find it now?' Elphias asked, his voice still small but gaining back a little of his characteristic cheek.

Remus laughed loudly, ruffling Elphias's hair. 'It'll come to you in time. Look, thank you for everything. I wish we could talk longer, but I promised Pron-James that I'd come back to the hospital. It's been a long time, and I haven't seen any of my friends properly.'

''S o'right. I got work; Mrs. Shuman only gave me a couple o' minutes break to visit Mr. Black. She'd be righ' furious if I don' get there soon.'

Remus disentangled from Elphias's prolonged hug. 'Be good, try not to shag her, eh?'

Elphias laughed but didn't comment any further as he straightened his scarf and cap. 'Ta, Remy,' he whispered, leaning forwards and pressing a swift kiss on Remus's cheek before walking out the door.

Remus watched the door close behind him, one surprised hand pressed to the cheek where Elphias had kissed him. He smiled and shook his head in exasperation. 'You'll never change.'

xxx

Sirius got out of the showers to find Remus sitting at the table, hunched over a pile of papers and scribbling at a furious rate. He was momentarily reminded of earlier years in Hogwarts just before a test. Sirius shook off the unexpected wave of nostalgia and walked over to his lover, looping both arms around his shoulders and kissing him on the cheek.

'Come to bed, Moony,' Sirius whispered against Remus's skin, trailing soft kisses down his jaw. Remus met Sirius's lips briefly before going back to his writing. 'Did you take your potions?' Sirius pouted. 'I had them after dinner in front of you, remember?'

Remus raised an eyebrow, surprised that Sirius was still awake. Dinner had been two hours ago; had he taken a nap in the bath?

Sirius nudged Remus's cheek insistently with his nose. 'Just give me five minutes, Padfoot. I'm nearly done.'

Sirius scowled, gently taking away Remus's quill from his hand and putting it away. 'No more work, Moony, you just came back.'

'Padfoot,' Remus protested weakly, one hair already tangling in Sirius's damp hair as the Animagus nibbled at his ear. 'Wait.'

'I missed you pathetic, you know.' Sirius whispered, one hand now snaking down to lift Remus's shirt in search of skin. 'You've become like a disease now...more than ever...like plague or somewhat.'

'Thank you for the compliment. I missed you too...just-' Sirius's hand went lower and Remus lost coherent speech for a while. It took all his strength to move Sirius's hand away from his crotch. 'Look, just go to bed and I'll be right along, I promise. I just need to-'

Sirius, disgruntled, removed his hands and occupied them in scanning through Remus's papers. 'What is all this? Daily Prophet, The Guardian, Telegraph, Mirror...what are you doing, Moony?'

Remus arranged the papers neatly in place. 'Research; I'm trying to see if I can find any werewolf sightings. Get a head start on my next mission. You wouldn't believe it, but these sort of things are more common in muggle tabloi-'

'You're going again?' Sirius asked, his face suddenly falling to an expression of disappointment and incredulity.

Remus nodded. 'Soon, yes; Dumbledore reckons the werewolves might join our side; they don't seem too keen with Voldemort anyway.'

Sirius looked at his disbelievingly, as if Remus had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world. 'But you just came back, Moony! You can't go again!'

Remus frowned, turning in his chair to face Sirius properly. 'I'll be here for another month or so, Padfoot, and I'll only be gone for a couple of weeks. It's not that big a deal.'

'I-No, Moony,' Sirius said stubbornly, crossing his arms across his chest. 'I don't want you to go.' Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation. 'You know I'm going to, Padfoot, no matter what you say.'

'I'm your lover, your best friend; surely my words hold some significance to you!' Sirius yelled, slamming the table with his fist angrily.

Remus sighed, taking Sirius's hands in his. 'Padfoot, this is my chance...this is what I've been wanting for so long...a chance to actually mean something.' He entwined their fingers, squeezing tightly, willing his lover to understand. 'Do you realise that everything I say could determine whether or not our forces can expand; that every word is influential.' He looked up into Sirius's defiant grey eyes. 'This is my chance to make my place in this war. No one else can do this.'

'What about me?' Sirius asked, in a small voice, tugging at Remus's hands lightly. 'What about what I want?'

'I thought you wanted to fight, Padfoot. I thought, if anyone, it would be you who would encourage me to go ahead and try my best.'

'I do,' Sirius replied, thoroughly conflicted, 'but I wanted to do it together...all of us...but you seem to be always getting ahead of yourself...moving away from us...from me.'

Remus breathed deeply, pulling Sirius closer so that he stood between Remus's knees. 'Padfoot, I'm not going anywhere. Look, your internship's starting soon, too. You'll be off to some foreign country, fighting away your own battles. I'm not complaining; this is what we each have to do. And you'll be so busy then, you won't even notice I'm gone.'

Sirius looked away. 'I'd like you there when I come home...'

Remus looked at his lover searchingly, noting the way he avoided Remus's eyes, the way his jaw twitched periodically, and his grip on Remus's hands tightened then slackened. 'Sirius, that's not the real reason at all, is it? I can tell you're searching for excuses. What's this really about?'

Sirius shrugged, not denying Remus's accusation. 'It's nothing. I just wanted you here with me. It's not too much to ask, is it?'

Remus frowned thoughtfully. 'Are you scared I'll get hurt, is that it? I told you, Padfoot, these people; they're nothing like what you imagined. They're-'

'Considerate, and kind, and welcoming,' Sirius recited tiredly. 'I know. I still don't like them.'

'Padfoot, you're being irrational.' Remus wondered if those potions were making Sirius delusional or just plain stupid.

Sirius's eyes were ablaze as he looked up at Remus sharply. 'Tell me, Moony, do they understand you? Do they take care of you better; do they know how you feel and how horrible it is for you half the time? Are they-' He hesitated here, continuing in a softer tone. 'Are they your friends, yourequals?'

Remus shook his head in bewilderment. 'I really don't understand what you're trying to say here.' 'They make you feel at home, don't they?' Sirius snorted. 'Like you belong somewhere?'

'I suppose,' Remus replied, still confused. 'Padfoot, you're being really weird and oh-' Remus stilled as comprehension finally dawned on to him. 'Oh. Oh my God, I can't believe you! You're jealous!'

'Am not!' Sirius defended, trying to dislodge Remus's firm grip on his hands.

Remus chuckled, whether out of relief or incredulity, he himself couldn't tell. 'You are; I can tell! You think I might find someone more like me and leave you for them, don't you?'

'No.' Sirius replied haughtily. 'No, I know you won't abandon me?' His answer came out more as a question than a statement, causing Remus to laugh even louder and pull Sirius on to his lap.

Remus kissed him soundly on the lips. 'You daft, insecure mutt, I can't believe you're more scared of me ditching you than me dying!'

'I don't want you to die either!' Sirius said, eyes wide with sincerity and shock of anything of the sort ever being suggested.

Remus smiled, stroking Sirius's hair out of his face affectionately and kissing him on the cheek.

'They're more suited to you than I am, Remus. They're just like you and no matter how hard I try, I can never see you the same way they do,' Sirius said miserably, resting his head against Remus's shoulder. 'I can never understand what you're going through.'

'I wouldn't want you to. It's horrible.'

Sirius snuffled against Remus's bare neck. 'They'd know that, wouldn't they? They'd know everything about you...all your desires, your wants, your needs...they'll know all of it. And then you'll realise you're better off with them instead of us, and-'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Padfoot, shut up right now before I hit you.'

'It can happen; I left my family to be with people who understood me. You can leave us for the same thing. You-'

'What's my most favourite thing in the world, Padfoot?' Remus interrupted.

Sirius looked up at the sudden change of subject. 'I don't know. Cock?'

Remus slapped his forehead. 'Never mind. What I was trying to say is that I'm happy the way we are right now. I'm happy with you, and Prongs, and Lily, and Wormtail.' He rested his hands in the small of Sirius's back, rubbing small circles with his thumb. 'The four of you mean everything to me, and I'd rather kill myself than willingly give you all up.'

Sirius smiled, apparently satisfied with Remus's answer, and rested his head back on his lover's shoulder. 'I love you,' he murmured softly.

Remus shook his head, only barely controlling his laughter should he fuel Sirius's volatile temper again. Sirius's prescribed potions seemed to enhance every aspect of Sirius's nature, especially the melodrama. 'You've been watching too many of those soaps, Padfoot. Getting sentimental over trivial things and dragging me along with you. Come on, take me to bed, you bloody nance.'

'Mm,' Sirius replied, rubbing his nose against Remus's neck and following it up with a kiss.

'And don't fall asleep on me.' Remus slapped Sirius lightly on the bum. 'Last time you dozed off mid coitus and I was left in the most uncomfortable position.'

'You try staying awake with that shit in your system,' Sirius replied, burying his nose into Remus's hair. 'Mm, smells nice.'

Luckily for Remus, Sirius kept his word and did not fall asleep halfway through sex. No, as the Gods of Irony would have it, he fell asleep before it, with Remus underneath him and still sitting on the chair. Apparently, the argument had cost valuable energy that could have been used in some mind blowing sex, or in Sirius's constantly exhausted state, some passable sex.

Remus sighed, frustrated and more than a little bit aroused. Tipping his head back in the chair, he looked heavenwards and cursed, 'You're having a laugh about this, aren't you, you sick bastard.'

It was just one of those days, Remus supposed, when he'd rather not question the sanity of this world and simply carry his lover to bed.

xxx

The great thing about New Year's Eve was that there were always special features on every channel. You could spend hours watching the telly and still never get bored because there was always something to watch, always something to entertain. For two bored boys like Remus and

Sirius, the television was their only sanctuary.

So by six, when they'd run out of things to do around the house, the two of them had kipped on the sofa with the remote; Remus laying fully on his back with a little help from expansion charms, and Sirius on top of him, lower body resting between Remus's legs and his head pillowed by Remus's chest. The beer bottles were balanced precariously on the edge of the coffee table, practically begging to be tipped over.

They'd started their little TV marathon at six sharp with the two hour special of The Paul Daniels Magic Show, where the boys laughed themselves silly when the audience "oohed" and "aahhed" with wonder at the poor attempts at magic. Sirius had coined it as the best show yet, topping his previous ratings for The Young and the Restless. They had then continued with The Muppet Show (completely upon Sirius's insistence; really!), Superstars, Coronation Street (where Sirius had a bit of a crush on Kevin Webster and was thoroughly disappointed when he wasn't featured in the episode) and so on and so forth.

'That still hurts, you know,' Sirius commented, when Remus's hand had strayed under Sirius's t- shirt to trace the large patch of unnaturally smooth flesh where the spell had hit.

'Was it fun getting it' Remus asked, his cool hand resting there and feeling oddly pleasant, 'running around in your motorbike and hexing everybody?'

'Yes,' Sirius admitted, 'but only up to the part when I thought I was going to die.' The corner of Remus's mouth lifted. 'Did your life flash in front of your eyes, then?'

Sirius shook his head, looking slightly dejected. 'Not much, but I had a few thoughts here and there.'

'Well, that's a first.'

Sirius cuffed Remus up the head. 'I thought of how you'd be disappointed in me for going and doing something stupid after you explicitly told me not to.'

'Well, if it makes you feel any better, I personally don't think that plunging headfirst into danger while outnumbered infinity to one is stupid at all,' Remus reassured, resuming his stroking of Sirius's back.

Sirius smiled and wiggled a little to get comfortable. 'Thank you.' 'I think it's bloody idiotic.'

'And brave?' Sirius asked, looking up with wide, hopeful eyes. 'And stupid,' Remus deadpanned.

'Now you're just contradicting yourself!' Sirius exclaimed vehemently, getting up to sit on Remus's stomach.

Remus shrugged, grinning. 'I can't help it. Your idiocy is contagious.'

'Cruel, Moony, you are so cruel.' Sirius clutched at his heart, faking extreme pain. 'You wound me with your words, spearing and stabbing into my crippled form...'

Remus tugged at the waistband of Sirius's boxers. 'Should I kiss it better?'

'And then you bribe me with your sensuality. It's lowly, love, makes me feel like a slut,' Sirius kneeled closer so that his face was only inches apart from Remus's when he breathed the next few words, 'a cheap whore to your ministrations.'

Remus raised an eyebrow. 'I didn't think it was that much of a problem. From what I gathered,' he cupped Sirius crotch explanatorily. 'you seem to quite enjoy it.'

'That's not quite the point, is it? The point is...' Sirius lost his train of thought as Remus's hand did unspeakable things to him.

'Yes?' Remus asked, not bothering to stop and grinning cockily.

'Well, blimey...er...the point is, that my thought process is somewhat malnourished.' Sirius, with great reluctance and determination to win their little battle of wits, removed Remus's hands. 'Moony, be a lad and get me a sandwich, won't you?' He said offhandedly. 'Feed my hungry mind.'

Remus's brows furrowed and arms crossed over his chest. 'Get it yourself. I'm not your wife.'

'You would be if the fates were cruel enough,' Sirius murmured, loud enough for Remus to hear.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

Sirius shrugged. 'I'm just saying that if one of us were to be a woman in our next lives, it would be you.'

Remus glared daggers into his lover. 'Are you mental? Unless you haven't noticed it up your arse enough times, I have a bigger prick than you do!'

'Only because you're taller!' Sirius exclaimed, his genitals feeling very insulted and defensive. 'Look at your hair; long and silky, and always smelling like one shampoo or another.'

Remus sat up abruptly, throwing Sirius off the couch. 'It's called grooming, you bastard, but you wouldn't know, what with all the fleas you've got.'

'That was just once, you twat!' Sirius cried war as he pulled Remus down on the floor.

'Why you little-' Remus straddled Sirius's hips, pushing him down roughly on to the floor as he pinned the Animagus by his wrists. Sirius let out a howl of pain the instant his back collided with the floor, and Remus let go quickly, horrified and cursing himself for forgetting about Sirius's injuries. 'Fuck, Padfoot, mate, are you all right? Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-'

Sirius took the opportunity to flip them over, so that Remus was now underneath him with both his hands pinned to the side. 'You're too easy, Moony,' he commented, licking Remus's bottom lip.

Remus's mouth dropped open in shock. 'You arse! I nearly died there!'

'Care about me that much, do you?' Sirius asked, grinning and using one hand to caress Remus's jaw.

'Fuck, you stupid fuck, I'll kill you! I'll-' Remus freed both hands from Sirius's grip and did the one thing he knew would drive Sirius mad: he tickled him.

Sirius burst out laughing even before Remus's fingers touched his skin, rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach, and trying to shield himself from Remus's waggling fingers. 'Ha ha – Moony, stop – ha ha –' He fell to his side, Remus still towering over him, tears now streaming down his face and breath coming out in laboured gasps. 'You know I'm ticklish there – oh god, stop – ha ha – I love you – he he – I worship you –'

'Oh for the love of Merlin, cut the foreplay and just shag already.'

Both Remus and Sirius got up so fast that their heads knocked together. Remus screamed 'Prongs!' the same time Sirius screamed 'Lily!', and both hastened to stand up and fix themselves. Sirius, whose boxers had ridden alarmingly low, blushed, grinned cheekily at Lily and hoisted them up. It was an odd thing really, how uncomfortable Sirius and Remus were to show affection even in front of their best friends, who had always approved of their relationship, encouraged it even. In fact, Sirius and Remus had never gone farther than holding hands or a chaste kiss on the cheek when around them.

'Odd though, James,' Lily said, a finger tapping her lip thoughtfully as she watched Remus and Sirius straighten up. 'For some reason, I always thought Sirius would be bigger of the two.' She angled her cheek for her customary greeting kisses from the boys.

'Nah,' said James, moving to embrace the pair in a one armed hug. 'Unfortunately, among the four of us, Remus remains the most blessed.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Yes, well, God felt sorry for my lycanthropy, so he gave me a large cock.'

'Amen.' Sirius grinned, patting Remus's stomach lightly and even Lily looked southwards appreciatively.

James smirked and rubbed his hands together. 'Well, get dressed; we're going out. I can't believe you lads walk around in that shit, flat or not.'

'What's wrong with what I'm wearing?' Sirius asked, grabbing a pair of jeans from under the sofa and slipping them on, much to Lily's disgust.

James eyed them pointedly; Sirius was wearing a pair of boxers and a scruffy t-shirt that James knew had belonged to Remus since fifth year, while Remus was in his socks and underpants with only a long sleeved Oxford covering his modesty or blessing, depending on the way you looked at it.

'Your shirt's got a rip on it in the elbow to start with. And Moony, put some frills on those pants and they look like the ones my grandma used to wear.'

Sirius snorted. 'Quite the fashionista, Prongs is. You'd think he was the ponce.' James threw Sirius's jacket at his face. 'Where we going, then?'

'It's New Year's Eve or have you forgotten?' Lily asked haughtily. 'We're having lunch together at that little café down the road. Wormtail's bringing a date, so the three of you need to behave. I don't want her frightened off of him even before they start.'

'Can't you give us an easier task, Lily darling?' James asked cheekily, earning a glare from his wife.

'Padfoot, put your scarf on. I don't care if it doesn't match with your leather jacket,' Remus admonished, as he pulled on a blue jumper and followed Lily and James outside.

Sirius almost grabbed for the keys to his bike before remembering that it was in the garage for repair.

'Hurry up, come on!'

'Keep your pants on!' Sirius grouched, locking the door behind him. 'What, my frilly, grandma ones?'

xxx

Remus slid Lily's soda across the table to her as he sat down on the stool beside hers. 'How have you been feeling, you know, with the baby and everything?'

'Putrid,' Lily replied, taking a generous swig from her can. 'James isn't letting me do anything around the house! It hasn't even been a month, and he's already driving me up the wall!'

'Well, that is the Marauders' first child,' Remus explained, 'it's bound to be overprotected. I'm surprised Padfoot hasn't hired a bodyguard for you yet.'

Lily groaned in annoyance. 'Don't give that man any ideas. It's bad enough having to stay home all the time.'

Remus put down his drink in surprise. 'Home? Prongs made you leave your job?' 'Ha!' Lily exclaimed defiantly. 'He wouldn't dare! They fired me.'

'What? Why? I always thought you'd flourish in Potion Brewing.'

'Oh, I did, but I'm muggle born, aren't I?' Lily replied bitterly. 'Bit of a hazard keeping me around with all those attacks going on. Voldemort might just decide he wants to kill me and come bounding into the lab.'

Remus chuckled. 'Somehow, I'm sensing a bout of déjà vu here. Don't take it to heart, Lily, I get it all the time. Only thing is, they're afraid I'd rip them apart before Voldemort has a chance to get to them.' He gulped down the last of his drink in one go, experiencing unwanted fizz up his nose. 'What did my ex-employer say again? Ah yes, a leopard never changes his spots, and a werewolf never decides to go vegetarian.'

'That's bullocks,' Lily snapped.

Remus smiled. 'No, it's true. I've got this unusual fetish for meat that drives Sirius insane.' Lily hit him on the arm. 'Oh hush, you know that's not what I'm talking about.'

'Look, Lily, forget it,' Remus said, brushing her concern and sympathy off. He didn't like anyone pitying him, and he was more than used to being feared by people. 'I wanted to ask you some questions. Do you mind if we move away a bit while the others are still occupied?'

Lily glanced over Remus's shoulder where James and Sirius were harassing Peter's date, Patricia. Lily almost felt sorry for her; almost, but felt she deserved it. Throughout their conversation together, she'd been haughty, rude, and very annoying. In other words, she'd been a pure bred Slytherin and greatly appealed to the schoolboy-bully side of James and Sirius. For the first time in her life, Lily had let them be.

She looked back at Remus. Seeing his anxious face, she let him guide her to one of the more secluded tables. 'What's the matter?' Lily asked once they'd settled down.

'It's this thing that happened during my journey back home,' Remus whispered, leaning close to her so that the conversation remained between the two of them alone. 'I can't seem to explain it, and

I've looked through tons of books, but there's nothing like it. It's this...' He waved his hands around, searching for the right word. '...feeling I have when Padfoot's around?'

'What? Love?' Lily asked, grinning cheekily.

Remus's expression told her that the joke wasn't appreciated. 'Look, I don't know how to explain it because I don't get it myself. I-' He pursed his lips, wondering whether to continue or not. 'I had a heart attack on Christmas Eve. Or at least what felt like a heart attack, really. I'm nineteen; I don't think it's possible to have one at this age.'

Lily raised an unbelieving eyebrow. 'How do you mean?'

Remus sighed in frustration. 'Lily, I had a heart attack at around six to seven, do you understand what I'm saying?'

Lily looked confused. 'No, I don't think I do.'

'Padfoot...Sirius was attacked around the same time and if my assumptions are right, then that Avada Kedavra spell hit him exactly the same time I collapsed.'

'Collapsed? Remus, are you sure?' Lily looked at him skeptically. 'I mean, look, everyone feels that little twinge of worry about the people they love. It's a sort of instinct that we've learned to ignore over the years, you know, but I swear every time James gets into trouble, it's like an alarm goes off in my head. Same with my mum...she always knew if we were lying, or something was wrong.'

'I don't think so,' Remus replied confidently. 'No.'

'Maybe your instinct's stronger because you're a werewolf,' Lily tried as an explanation. 'I mean, your magic is entirely different from ours, isn't it?'

'No, look, it's not that simple. I just-' Remus clutched at his chest, mouth moving but not finding the right words to convey his message. 'Sirius feels it, too. At first, I thought it was only me, but when I came to the hospital to see him, he told me he knew I was coming.'

'Sirius was drugged, Remus, he-'

'He knew before he was drugged,' Remus insisted, putting his hands down on the table. 'He put up

a fight because he wanted to see me. He knew, Lily, and I have no idea how.'

Lily didn't see how he could have; the mere idea was ridiculous. 'It's just intuition, Remus. When you love a person hard enough, you generally become tied to them. Like an invisible bond that keeps you linked together, do you see?'

Remus looked unconvinced. 'The pain, Lily; how do you explain that? I thought I was going to die, it was that fucking intense. I've never had an episode like that. I mean, with Padfoot, it's always been there.' He rested his head on his hands, massaging his temples slightly. 'The sixth sense that you've talked about: you know, being able to feel when someone's around or distressed. That's all right; my parents did it too sometimes. But this, this is impossible, isn't it?'

Lily looked down at her hands thoughtfully, trying to find some kind of explanation for such behaviour. Anything that might point out a reason to what was happening. To be honest, she had never heard of such a thing, and she still doubted Remus had interpreted what he was feeling right. Still, the werewolf was rarely ever wrong.

'Remus,' she tried finally, placing a worrying hand over his, 'this may seem like a stupid question,

but have you and Sirius ever done an Unbreakable Vow? You know, maybe a fun experiment when you're drunk or something of that sort?'

'What?' Remus made a face. 'No, we know better than to try things like that.'

'I'm just saying...it just sounds a lot like it.'

Remus shook his head. 'No, Unbreakables are different. The composition is different; you don't feel your partner's pain or presence. You're just obliged to them by a pact of death.' He spoke with the confidence of a man who had studied too much and too hard for his NEWTS. 'Nothing would happen if one of them dies; as long as it's out of the contractual promise, your life's yours to keep.'

'Do you think you would have died,' Lily asked nervously, 'if Sirius had the other night?' She didn't like the idea of it. If this thing that Remus was experiencing was true, she understood that it could do more harm than good.

'No, no, I don't think so.' Remus ran a hand through his hair, brushing his too long fringe out of his eyes. 'I'd have felt it probably, shared some of the pain, but I think it's more of a mental connection than a physical one, do you see?'

Lily frowned. 'So what you're trying to say is that as long as this bond – friendship or love -between you and Sirius remains strong on both sides, your connection to him remains intact, like an alarm or maybe a shared soul?'

Remus laughed weakly. 'I don't know what I'm saying. I've never come across something like this before, and you make it sound disgustingly romantic.'

Lily smiled. 'I'll look it up for you in the library or something. James' dad has some good books, restricted books; maybe I'll find something there.'

Remus nodded, pecking her lightly on the cheek. 'I owe you, then.'

'You know, you and Sirius never cease to surprise me.'

'Oh, I know,' Remus said, grinning widely. 'Sometimes I find myself flat on my back in shock.'

'Are you sure that's not Padfoot trying to suck you off, Moony,' James asked, joining their conversation and slinging an arm over Remus.

Remus's face went an unnatural shade of red.

'Don't be crude James,' Lily admonished, to which James simply smirked and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

'So what have you two been doing alone? Chatting up my wife, were you, Moony?' James joked, punching Remus lightly in the jaw.

'You know me, Prongs, always the Casanova.'

'Who's this other Casanova I hear about?' Sirius asked, popping in from behind Lily and resting his chin on her shoulder. 'Is he available? What's his number?'

'Are you done annoying Patricia, then?' Lily asked, giving Sirius's nose a squeeze. 'She got boring,' James said airily. 'One can only stand her voice for so long.'

'And she has a limited vocabulary, too,' Sirius continued. 'She only ever says one thing.'

'Well, I never!' Sirius and James chorused in high pitched voices before bursting into laughter.

'Hush, she'll hear you,' Lily scolded. 'You can at least try to be nice to her, for Peter's sake.'

'Psh,' Sirius waved it off. ''Moony, Wormtail's booking a pool table for us. Fancy being my partner or do you want to find your feminine side and continue talking to Lily about makeup?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Padfoot, neither you nor James know how to play pool.'

Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. 'It's a game of sticks and balls; I think I'm familiar with the general

concepts.' He winked cheekily at Remus and blew a kiss. 'Besides, I gather you're quite the expert?'

'Lily, you don't mind being stuck with Patricia for a while, do you?' James asked, a hand on Lily's cheek; his tone suddenly changing from young prankster to doting husband. 'It's only for a little while, the boys and I'll only play one game.'

'He makes you sick, doesn't he?' Sirius stated, disgusted at the display of affection. 'Enormously,' Remus finished, standing up.

Lily stuck up two fingers. 'I'll be fine, love. You boys go ahead and have some fun. I'll deal with her.'

Quarter to twelve, Lily was exhausted and quite frankly, annoyed of being nice to Patricia and listening to her wondrously boring tales of how rich her family is, how they believed in pureblood heritage, etcetera, etcetera, with grated, mouldy cheese on top. Occasionally, she'd overhear fragments of the boys' conversations and laugh out loud, quickly apologising when Patricia looked at her oddly.

Funniest of all seemed to be Remus and Sirius, whose dynamics she'd never quite noticed until tonight's conversation with Remus. They really were quite close and no matter how much they tried to hide it, their relationship was more than obvious to the watchful eye. It was lovely the way they contrasted each other and melded together like pieces of a puzzle. To Lily, what made Remus and Sirius's relationship truly unique was that they were just two best friends living together in the end: they took care of each other; fought as fiercely as they loved; helped and supported each other through troubled times; and teased each other mercilessly.

Lily watched Remus struggle to teach James and Sirius how to hit at the right angle. Sirius was being insufferable on purpose, she could tell, and it was probably just to rile Remus up. She laughed aloud when Sirius asked Remus if he was 'sure the sticks weren't meant to go into the holes instead'.

'They're rather close, aren't they?' Patricia commented, looking at the boys in disgust. 'Practically queer.'

'James!' Lily called out in a sickly sweet voice, fed up with the snotty woman beside her. 'Come here for a second, won't you, hun?'

James looked at her questioningly but jogged up to where his wife was sitting. 'What's wrong?' 'Let's all of us get out of here,' she whispered so that Patricia couldn't overhear.

'Why? The party doesn't start till twelve!' James gestured to the slowly gathering crowd around the television, all waiting for the countdown to start. 'I thought you wanted to dance later?'

Lily shook her head. 'We'll kip some place quiet and watch the fireworks instead. Doesn't that sound romantic?' She rubbed his arms lovingly.

James's resolve was already weakening. 'Yeah, but-'

'James,' Lily sighed, looking pointedly forwards.

James followed her gaze to the pool table where Remus had bent down to pick up one of the balls, (which Sirius had "accidentally" hit too hard and dropped) his arse facing one of the side pockets. Sirius took the opportunity to hit a perfect shot, exclaiming 'balls deeps, eh, Moony!' as the last yellow ball and the eight ball rolled into the corresponding pocket.

James groaned. 'He's going to get us thrown out, I just know it. He's been making bad innuendos at Moony all night.'

Lily laughed softly. 'I think it's a bit cute, actually.'

'I think it's mental. Moony says it's those potions he's been taking. I say he's just using that bit as an excuse to do whatever he wants.'

'Sirius is just trying to be with Remus the best way he can, James. I mean, it's New Year's Eve. It's not fair to them if everyone else has a date and they supposedly don't. I really want to take them someplace where they can be themselves with us.'

'You spoil them' James replied, but there was a hint of adoration in his voice. 'Well, if that's what you want...fake pain.'

Lily blinked in confusion. 'What?'

'Pretend you're having pregnancy pains. We can ditch Patricia and Wormtail that way, and ask Remus and Sirius to help.'

Lily immediately let out a cry of agony, clutching her stomach.

xxx

'I can't believe you did that!' Sirius yelled as the four of them ran across the street, hand in hand, ignoring the outraged cries of "hooligans!", "bloody teenagers", and the loud honking of cars. 'You sneaky bitch, you had me and Remus worried for a minute there!'

Lily laughed as she pulled them into an alley. 'It was all James's idea. You can beat him up later for it!'

'Lily wanted the four of us to watch the fireworks at midnight!' James cried out in defence as Remus and Sirius glared at him.

'Fireworks!' Remus screeched, whether out of anger or because he'd run into a stray garbage can, one could never tell. 'You did all that to watch fucking fireworks? Are you completely, absolutely mental?'

'James, you take Sirius, and I'll take Remus,' Lily ordered, as they met a dead end.

'Wait, where are you taking us?' Remus cried out as Lily grabbed him by the arm and apparated to-

'Godric's Hollow,' James presented, spreading his arms wide.

Sirius and Remus watched awe struck at the wide expanse of field and flowers. You could barely make out the outline of the small suburban neighbourhoods from this distance, glowing brightly from all the Christmas decorations. The area they had apparated in was still relatively empty, the nearest house around twenty kilometers away and the only source of light being the fireflies that roamed beside their feet.

Lily breathed contently and flopped down on the ground. 'Lovely, isn't it?'

'I've never been here before,' Sirius said, sitting down as well. 'Mother didn't approve of it much. Said it was filled with Mudbloods and Muggle lovers.'

'Lily and I are planning to buy a house here once the baby is born, to give it a nice magical environment,' James said quietly. 'We're not sure yet, but if we win the Quidditch finals this year, I might actually have enough money to do it.'

'Wow,' Remus whispered, as Sirius's head rested on his shoulder.

Fireworks erupted into the night sky with a great 'bang' as the clock struck twelve in the middle of the street, and the four of them watched the array of different colours shoot across the sky in mysterious patterns. It felt wonderful to be here, to still be alive; and Lily felt a pang of sorrow for the Prewett brothers. Silently, she wondered if this war would ever end; if one day, all of this would be talked about only in history books and novels. She looked up at the sky again, cooing as the words 'Happy New Year' spelled out in front of them in sync with the last chime of the clock.

Dutifully, Lily turned away from Remus and Sirius, looking into her husband's brilliant hazel eyes and smiling softly. She kissed him, wrapping her arms around him in an affectionate embrace. 'I love you,' she said quietly and knew somewhere beside them, there was an echo of the same declaration.

It was the beginning of a new era and they were set out to change the world.

chapter 23

February, 1980

Remus looked at the crowd of werewolves gathering in a circle, looks of suspicion and curiosity aimed towards him. They had given him a chance to speak, and he wanted to make sure he did it right because so far, this was the biggest werewolf colony he had come across. Remus had purposefully tied his hair so as to reveal his registry code and his age old scar, making sure that they knew he was not ashamed of who he was. He needed to gain their confidence, to be respected by appearance alone.

'I come to you tonight on behalf of Dumbledore, but let me say beforehand that my message speaks to all of you,' Remus started, radiating confidence that would have the Marauders in awe. 'As you know, Voldemort's power is rising steadily and there have been mass murders all over Europe. Among many others, werewolves are also being blamed for the various attacks that are taking place. Whether these allegations are true or just rumours, I cannot tell you. What I can confirm is that our kind is being blamed and killed for it.' He paused, waiting for their mixed reactions, watching for the expected outrage, pity, defiance, among any others.

'Newspapers are raging over the Ministry's triumphs over werewolves; hundreds of our brothers are being hunted and killed like animals as we speak. It's time, my friends, to inflict a change upon the human mind, to deem ourselves as equal. It's time we fight!'

There was a snort of derision from the man in front – their pack leader, Shikoh. 'Fight? How much harm can the likes of us do? Look at us,' he said, gesturing to the many werewolves around them. 'We live in an abandoned house, confined by our own fears of being found out and hunted. We can barely take care of ourselves.'

Remus shook his head in pity and remorse. 'You underestimate your power. We've been given strength no normal human being can ever possess, endurance borne from our transformations every month, a brand of magic that wizards can only hope to achieve. Yet, we hide it?'

For only a second, Remus thought he saw a familiar face between the crowds and faltered his words from the shock of what he might be seeing. But the face disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, and Remus shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. Perhaps the long hike was taking a toll on him?

Remus wiped the sweat of his brow and continued, 'We hide our strengths from the world, from Voldemort, from everyone. Dumbledore calls to you, my brothers; he's giving you a chance to prove yourself. He's giving you a chance to fight against what's wrong and bring down the abomination that comes in the face of Voldemort.' Remus knew that his hatred for Voldemort was

showing now; he had never felt this passionate about any speech he'd given and he hoped that they could see what he was trying to tell them. He hoped that this mission, like all the others, would not be a failure.

Remus took a deep breath, his conclusion already forming in his head as he spoke loud and clear: 'I, Remus Lupin, come to you with an opportunity to finally lead lives that we rightfully deserve! I-'

There was a collective gasp from the crowd and hurried mutterings that cut off Remus's next words. They sounded angry, in fact; many of them now shooting murderous glares towards him and looking at him as if he'd said something horrifying. Remus stared at them in surprise and suddenly at a loss for words; he wasn't expecting a reaction this violent. He definitely wasn't expecting them to be angry.

Remus tentatively stepped towards Shikoh, wanting to ask what he'd done wrong, to ask their final verdict. He had hardly made two steps towards the leader when he was hit hard on the side of his face, sending him flying towards the floor, blood splattering across the stone.

xxx

'We'd like our orders today please,' Lily snapped at the waitress who seemed entirely involved in staring at Sirius to even notice her. Sirius, for his part, seemed to be enjoying the attention, giving the waitress an indulgent smile before she left. 'I should tell Remus to keep you on a tighter leash. Honestly, Sirius, do you have to flirt with every single woman that so much as looks at you?'

Sirius shrugged, leaning back in his chair. 'Well, they're all staring. What else am I supposed to do? Besides, I wasn't flirting. She came to me. Anyway, my Moony knows I only have eyes for him.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'What are you getting your Moony for next Wednesday then?'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Why? Is it his birthday? No wait, that's in March. Is it the day he's

coming back from that stupid mission? Because we usually just shag each other then.'

Lily wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh or cry. 'It's Valentine's next Wednesday. Isn't there some kind of elaborate gift that you've planned out for him?'

Sirius frowned. 'Why? I've never given him anything before.'

Lily took deep, calming breaths. Anger wasn't a good approach for thickheaded pillocks like Sirius Black. 'Look, don't try to reason it, yeah? I want you to buy Remus something romantic for Valentine's that makes him feel special and loved. Take him to dinner, wine, music, whatever, you do it, am I understood?'

'But-'

Lily cut off Sirius's protests with a stern look. 'Am I understood?'

Sirius gave her a mock salute. 'Yes, ma'am.' He made place for the waitress to put their food on the table, giving her one last flirtatious smirk. 'So, are you going to tell me why you decided to have breakfast with me all of a sudden?'

'I had a craving for chocolate ice cream and James is at practice. You were the only one who could take me,' Lily replied, swallowing a spoonful of ice cream greedily. 'Also, mother just dropped off my first pregnancy test report. I was supposed to get them earlier, but there was a massive confusion. Apparently, there are a lot of Potters in the world. I'm a bit nervous to open them myself, you know.'

Sirius scowled in distaste. 'I still don't know why your family insists visiting those muggle hospitals. Mungo's has the most qualified healers in the world and they should be trusted when they say everything's fine. You don't see our healers sticking pins and needles into people, do you? I swear, if my Godchild is born with a hole in its face...'

'Sod off, Sirius. This hospital happens to be the finest of its kind. It's the same place Petunia's going to, you know.' When she noticed that Sirius wasn't quite eating his ice cream, she grabbed a spoonful of his and helped herself. 'They have the sex of the child in the report; Mum asked them to include it.'

Sirius looked at her with renewed interest. 'What do you want? Have you decided?'

Lily shook her head. 'James says it doesn't matter as long as it has his Quidditch skills.'

Sirius laughed, head thrown back. 'The conceited bastard. Go on, open it then. Let's see what it is.'

Lily swallowed, nodding. Hesitantly, she opened the envelope and took out the piece of paper that would determine everything about the baby – health, life, sex...Sirius could feel his skin prickling with excitement. Unable to contain his excitement, he jiggled his foot impatiently as he watched Lily's eyes scan the paper, the smile on her face growing wider by the minute.

'Everything's fine,' she said finally, 'it's a girl!'

Sirius jumped out of his chair with joy, doing a little happy dance and causing everyone in the shop to stare at him as if he had gone mad. 'It's a girl! It's a girl!' he sang to the small flabbergastered audience he'd gathered.

Lily smiled at them weakly, face flushed with embarrassment. 'It's his first time as a Godfather,' she explained. The crowd nodded at her understandingly and turned away. A few of them even congratulated her. 'Sirius Black, if you don't sit down right now, I'll chop your legs off.'

Sirius sat down, breathless and grinning with joy. 'Lily, it'll be the Marauder's little girl, after you of course,' he reassured. 'But what do you want as a baby present? Pink frocks, tutus? Oh, Remus and I saw this advertisement on TV the other day that said Sweet Love was something every girl should have. I'm not sure what is yet, but Remus says it might be lip gloss!'

Lily groaned.

'And then I have to attach a baby seat on the bike and those new baby broomsticks are just-' Sirius suddenly shuddered violently in his seat, his ramblings coming to an abrupt halt.

Lily looked up at him with concern. 'Sirius, are you okay?'

Sirius blinked, frowning slightly. He looked a little pale to Lily all of a sudden and she put a hand over his. 'I'm fine,' he said, swallowing heavily. 'Must have been something I ate.' He smiled at her reassuringly. 'So, where were we?'

xxx

Remus didn't want to get up. No, that was not it; Remus couldn't get up. He had never felt this sick his entire life. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and he prayed he would pass out again sometime because the pain felt worse than a hundred transformations. He didn't know where he was. He didn't know where he was and what he was doing and how he'd ended up here and why, why this searing pain wouldn't stop.

Someone rolled Remus on to his back and he cried out in pain, curling up into a tight ball. 'Remus, wake up!' Whoever it was sounded a lot like a mouse or a squirrel maybe, or it could just be Remus's ears ringing. 'Remus! Damn it, Claw, give me the antidote!'

Remus only had time to question the name 'Claw' when a hand pried open his mouth and poured bitter liquid down his throat. His gag reflex shot up almost instantaneously, but a strong hand kept his mouth close, forcing him to swallow every drop. He could feel the fluid moving down his throat, warm and bitter, but oddly soothing as it lessened the agonizing pain to something bearable.

Remus opened his eyes, wanting to thank whoever it was and was met by familiar strawberry blond hair. 'Rubel?' He blinked his eyes quickly, willing his vision to clear and confirm that none of this was a figment of his imagination. 'Rubel! It is you! I thought I was just hallucinating when I saw you in the camp! You're alive!' Remus said this all in one excited whisper and ended up in a coughing fit by the end of it.

'Rubel,' another voice said sternly and only then did Remus notice another presence in the room, presumably the one called Claw. He didn't look much like a Claw, to be honest. He was older, nearly Remus's age and looked almost meek with his scraggly blond hair, warm brown eyes, and petite facial features. 'Rubel, if you plan on doing this, we need to hurry. There isn't much time till the others wake.'

Rubel nodded, extending a hand towards Remus to help him up. Remus took it, getting unsteadily to his feet and nearly falling to the floor again before being caught by Claw.

'You've been poisoned with silver,' Claw explained as he forced Remus to walk, pushing him and pulling him like a ragdoll. Silver. For some reason, the knowledge did nothing for Remus's already ailing health. In fact, the realisation made Remus's guts lurch and his insides twist to create the most nauseous feeling. Silver. He tried to distract himself by looking elsewhere and for the first time, noticed his surroundings.

They was in a dank and dusty cellar, floor coated in numerous places by algae and other fungi that he really couldn't name. All he knew was that it smelled horrible, like rotting carcass and that it was amazing how he had never actually noticed it through all his pain.

'We've given you the antidote, but we need to get you out of here before it takes full effect and makes you too weak. We need time to stage a break out,' Claw explained further as he almost bodily dragged Remus out of the door, making him stumble and trip over his feet. Vaguely, through all the information, Remus registered that Claw was deceptively strong.

'Why?' Remus asked, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded. 'Why did they poison me? I didn't do anything.'

Claw snorted as if he didn't believe in Remus the slightest. 'That's what Rubel says as well. That you're innocent, that you're not the reason half of us are orphans or homeless right now.'

Remus blinked, not quite understanding. He was about to question Claw when Rubel spoke for the first time, grabbing Remus's hand tightly. 'He is! I told you, Claw! Why won't you believe me?' he asked, his voice cracking through his anger.

'I trust you, Rubel, that's why I agreed to help,' Claw replied stiffly. He leaned Remus against the wall as he checked the hallways for any passer-bys. 'But none of the outsiders knew of our camp except him, so I see no one else to blame except Lupin for the fire.'

Remus closed his eyes as another bout of nausea overwhelmed his senses. 'I didn't do it,' he forced out, looking Rubel in the eyes, willing the boy to believe him. He didn't know why it was important for a seven year old boy to believe in his innocence, but it was. 'I know you don't believe me, but Greyback was using you. He was using all of us to aid Voldemort. Nothing else.'

Rubel nodded. 'We'll take you home, Remus,' he said, smiling slowly and tugging at Remus's hands like an impatient child. 'Claw was a wizard once; he knows how to apparate. There's a patch not far from here that isn't covered by any shields.'

'Come with me,' Remus breathed. 'I searched for you after the fire, but they told me you were dead. I could give you a home.'

Claw laughed silently, shaking his head. Rubel, on the other hand, looked at him longingly. 'I-I can't,' he stuttered sadly. 'I-My pack brother – Claw – he's here and he takes care of me. He saved me and I won't leave him.'

Claw's hold on Remus's shoulder tightened painfully. 'We don't have a place among wizards, Lupin. Don't delusion the child with such ridiculous ideas.'

'Dumbledore let me in; you're no different,' Remus reasoned as he was dragged to a nearby wall and held against it.

'You – my scent is different,' Rubel replied sadly. 'Not like yours. It's not nice...or pure, like yours.' 'Rubel-'

'Tell us where you live,' Rubel interrupted, his voice sounding unusually strong for a child his age. 'Claw will apparate you there.'

'No,' Remus protested weakly, feeling helpless in his situation both physically and emotionally. Yet, even through his dizziness and distress, he had enough presence of mind not to give away his location. If these werewolves decided to ever turn against him then Sirius's life would be at risk, and Remus wouldn't have it. 'No, just apparate me to the city. I'll manage from there.'

'Remus, you'll pass out mid way. Let Claw take you!' Rubel whispered urgently, squeezing Remus's hand so tightly, it hurt. 'Please!'

''No! The more time you waste, the harder it will be to slip me out!' Remus rested his cheek against the wall, letting the cool stone soothe the migraine that he could feel coming on. 'I'm getting weaker by the second and if you don't hurry, they'll find you out.'

Rubel and Claw both looked at each other; Rubel looked hesitant to let go, but Claw never gave him a chance to protest as he grabbed Remus's upper arm and instantly apparated them to London. Remus had no idea where he was and didn't even have the strength to ask Claw as he disapparated. It was too dark to make out any of the street signs, and Remus's blurring vision and fading mind was proving it even harder for him to walk two steps without stumbling and falling over.

From far away, he could make out the bright yellow sign of a taxi coming his way and he quickly stuck his arm out. The rest of the trip was a complete blur for Remus. He wasn't even sure if he'd said the right address. Remus was sure he'd passed out a number of times because he couldn't remember any part of the taxi ride, or even remember giving the driver any money as he staggered out of the car. He wasn't even sure what sort of power guided him up the stairs to their flat because it definitely wasn't his mind and it didn't feel like his legs, because he'd collapsed as soon as he

reached their room, beside their bed.

'Padfoot,' Remus called, his throat hurt with every syllable. He wished he could just sleep, but he knew things would be a lot worse if he did. 'Sirius...'

Sirius scrunched up his face, facing away from Remus. 'Mm, Moony, not now; I'm tired.'

'Sirius, wake up, I-' Remus broke into a wracking cough, blood spitting into his hands and the floor. He tried to stop it, control it, but the harder he tried, the worse it got.

"Moony? You're back?' Sirius sat up immediately, his hand going reflexively to his wand and casting a quick Lumos! 'Remus, wha-fucking hell!' Sirius gasped, jumping out of the bed to Remus's side. 'What happened? What's all this?'

Remus could hear Sirius's breathing quicken from panic and he put a shaky hand upon Sirius's shoulder for reassurance. 'Calm down, I'm fine.' The sentiment was lost when Remus retched all over the floor, a mixture of food and bile and blood and even hints of silver.

'Oh, Merlin, oh shit, we need to go to Mungo's. We need to – fuck, I need to get your papers. They're in the cupboard, I'll just-'

Remus caught Sirius by the sleeve. 'No – not Mungo's –' He panted out, every word costing him a lot of energy. He swallowed thickly, trying to quell down the pain in his throat and his guts and every other inch of his body. 'It's silver – I got the antidote – its working-'

Sirius looked about to faint and he cradled Remus's head protectively. 'Silver? How? Who did this to you?'

'Mum - I need mum...'

'Remus, this is no time to be asking for your mother. We can hurry to the hospital; I can get you

under a healer in five seconds. Fucking hell; silver!'

'No one should know - mum can help,' Remus insisted, wanting to explain why and how, but unable to find the strength to do so. He looked at Sirius blearily, willing him to understand and not waste time asking questions.

Sirius looked hesitant for a minute and Remus was sure things were going to go horribly wrong. He was preparing to give up hope of Sirius listening, letting his eyes close and surrendering to the darkness that was beginning to take over the corner of his eyes. However, his eyelids jolted open when he felt the familiar pull of apparition and the discomfort of a badly casted levitation charm as Sirius jogged them towards the Lupin Cottage and banged the door frantically.

'Mrs. Lupin, open the door! It's me, Sirius!

The door creaked open and Remus felt himself being forcefully pushed inside, the levitation charm gone and only Sirius's weight supporting him up the stairs to a place that smelled very familiar – his old bedroom.

'Sirius, what happened? What's wrong with Remus?'

Remus was mostly hearing sounds now; his eyes had rolled to the back of his head, occasionally gracing him with the blurry figures of a distraught looking Sirius and his mother. He wished he could speak to them, explain everything and reassure them that everything was fine. He wanted to tell them that he would be okay now that his mother was here because she knew what to do to

reduce the pain and make him heal even faster. Unfortunately, his throat had given up functioning a long time ago.

'Silver poisoning. He said he got the antidote, but god, he's a mess. He's bleeding and vomiting, and I have no idea what he wants, but he said you did. Help him, please, please.'

'If he's vomiting, it's a good sign. It means the antidote is working. Summon a bag with your wand. It's blue with medicine in it; it's in my bedroom. Quickly.'

'Wait, these are potions. How do I know you're using the right thing? You're muggle; you could be poisoning him.'

'I know how to take care of my son, Sirius; he went through the same thing during his registry tattoo. Look, he's going to break into a fever, so I need you to get a thermometer so that I can curb it before it gets fatal.'

'What's a ther-'

'Blue tube, bathroom cabinet, now go!'

Remus was made to swallow some sort of burning liquid that agitated his throat even further, making him scream silently. Tears streamed down his eyes, and he groped blindly for his mother out of instinct, seeking her and wanting her to be there.

Del grabbed his hand, entwining their fingers together. 'Remus, don't panic, do you hear me? Do not panic.'

Remus wasn't sure if he nodded or not. He had definitely intended to, but his mind and body seemed to be entirely unhinged and uncoordinated. Do not panic, he told himself, wondering if his eyes were open or closed now. Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not panic. Keeping that mantra in his head, Remus let out a deep breath and fell out of consciousness.

xxx

Sirius woke up, feeling utterly miserable and grumpy from having his sleep interrupted. He couldn't quite place what it was exactly that awoke him, but as he turned to his side, he resolved to find whatever it was and bludgeon it. Blindly, he reached for the familiar warmth of Remus beside him.

It was when his tired brain finally registered that he was reaching for empty space that Sirius's eyes snapped open. 'Moony.' Sirius got up, blinking rapidly and suddenly, his entire body was aware of everything around him. The unfamiliarity of the room despite having spent quite a few childhood summers here; the cold that was settling deep into his bones and making his teeth chatter, the wind whistling through the crack in the bedroom window, and the muffled sounds of someone having a row nearby. Sirius rightly guessed that that must have been why he'd woken up so abruptly.

The row was getting louder now and though Sirius couldn't exactly understand the words being exchanged, he recognised Remus's voice instantly. He assumed the other female voice was Mrs. Lupin's.

For a while, Sirius just lay there, not wanting to move from his comfortable position on the bed and walk out into the cold; but curiosity finally got the better part of him and forced him to sit up. He shivered, wrapping the blanket around himself tightly and slipping on a pair of sandals that were probably Remus's since Sirius himself had come barefoot.

'Remus, will you please just listen to me?'

Sirius peered in through a crack in Mrs. Lupin's bedroom door quietly, not wanting to be caught spying on a heated moment. He couldn't quite see where Remus's mother was, but he spotted his lover immediately, pacing back and forth like a prowling tiger. Vaguely, Sirius wondered if it was healthy for him to expend so much energy after last night's ordeal.

'I don't understand why you have to bring this topic up every time I come, mum!' Remus ran a hand through his hair, moving his fringe out of his eyes. 'Why can't you just leave it alone and accept it?'

'Everything about you has always been acceptance, Remus!' Sirius could hear Mrs. Lupin scream from somewhere in the room. 'I accepted you wanted to be a wizard, I accepted you were a werewolf without any hesitation, I accepted you were gay, I accepted you were in love with Sirius; but I will not accept you coming at my doorstep half dead! I will not, Remus!'

'It was a mistake!' Remus snapped, turning so that Sirius couldn't see his face anymore. 'They didn't mean it!'

There was a sound of something crashing to the floor, and Sirius finally understood where Remus got his rare but violent bursts of anger from. It was the first time he'd ever seen Mrs. Lupin this angry. 'Accidentally stepping on someone's toe is a mistake! Pouring that much silver into your blood is not!'

'I-'

'I don't even know why I bother arguing with you anymore, Remus. You've never listened to me and you're going to get yourself killed regardless of what I say. You're turning out just like your father.'

'Well, that's the problem, isn't it?' Remus asked in a broken voice, and Sirius had only seconds to move into the shadows before Remus stormed out of the room in anger.

As he watched Remus run down the stairs two at a time, clearly distressed and angry, Sirius wondered if he should go after his lover. It would mean revealing that he had been listening in and for some reason, the thought didn't seem very appealing to him. He heard a muffled sob from inside the room and went inside, feeling incredibly awkward and aware of his limbs as he watched Mrs. Lupin cry into her hands.

'Are you okay, Mrs. Lupin?' It was the stupidest question Sirius could ever ask; clearly she was anything but "okay".

Mrs. Lupin looked up and smiled feebly. 'I'm fine, Sirius. I'm sorry you had to see all that.'

Sirius shrugged, looking down at his feet. 'I wasn't here for very long. I didn't really mean to eavesdrop.'

'It's alright, love,' she replied, wiping her eyes.

'I'm really sorry,' he offered, feeling utterly useless, 'for everything.'

Mrs. Lupin shook her head. 'It's not your fault, Sirius. Do me a favour and go after him for me, will you? Make sure he doesn't get hurt.'

Sirius nodded. 'Yes, ma'am.'

Sirius didn't bother running blindly after Remus; he knew Remus would have nowhere to run to except to their apartment back in London. So, Sirius simply got off the Lupin premises and apparated there instantly.

'Moony, are you-' Sirius didn't even have time to adjust to the dizziness that came from apparating too fast when he felt his back collide hard with the wall and his mouth get caught up in the most brutal kiss that Remus had ever given him. Sirius's hands scrabbled to Remus's chest trying to push him off, but in vain. Remus was pinning him with his entire body, one restraining hand on Sirius's shoulder and the other on the small of his back, keeping him effectively locked in position.

'Remus, get off me-' It was when Remus's hands slipped past Sirius's pyjama bottoms that Sirius gathered enough strength to push him off. 'What the fuck are you doing?' Sirius cried, feeling blood and adrenaline pulsing and pounding in his head from the unspeakable fury he was feeling. It angered him even more when Remus looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. 'Never do that again, Remus! Never!'

'I-'

'Don't use my affections for you as some kind of tool or an easy fuck!'

'I don't know what to do anymore!' Remus screamed, clutching his hair tightly. 'I don't know!' He looked about to cry and Sirius found his anger melting at the sight.

'Remus...'

'She never understood me! Not even with dad there but now, she doesn't even try!' Sirius reached out for him slowly, taking Remus's hand and pulling him into a hug, 'It doesn't matter what I do, Padfoot, it's like she's just waiting to find a fault in me! I've tried, but I can't even stay underneath the same roof as her anymore!' He fisted Sirius's t-shirt, pulling him impossibly close.

'Shh,' Sirius whispered, running his fingers through Remus's hair. 'It's okay.'

'I must sound like such a horrible person, saying such things about my own mother.'

'You're talking to the wrong person here,' Sirius said, trying to keep his voice light. Remus laughed weakly into Sirius's neck.

'I love her, Sirius, like nothing you can imagine, but-'

'But she doesn't understand why you're always trying to kill yourself,' Sirius said, his voice not escaping the disdain he felt for Dumbledore who had sent Remus into yet another deadly mission.

'It's my-'

'Job, I know, I know.' Sirius rocked their bodies together slowly, resting his chin on Remus's shoulder.

'I'm sorry for...you know...I didn't mean to hurt you. I don't know what I was thinking. I just-'

'I know. It's okay. Just don't do it again, yeah? I don't...just tell me and I'll help you, you know that. I'm always here.' He heard Remus hum into his ear, whispering sorry over and over again. 'Do you feel better now?' Sirius felt Remus shake his head against him. 'Would you like to go for a ride? We can forget today ever happened, get some breakfast on the way.' Remus nodded. 'You'll have to let go of me first.' Remus shook his head, holding Sirius tighter and making him chuckle. 'As you wish,' he said before apparating them into their small makeshift garage.

'You changed the leather,' Remus commented when he'd finally let go of Sirius long enough to look at the bike.

Sirius looked at his bike, shined and polished to perfection. 'I didn't have anything else to do, so I pampered the bike for a little while. Changed the engines, strengthened the levitation charms for better control...'

'As if you didn't obsess over the thing enough with me here,' said Remus, smiling, but Sirius thought he heard a bit of jealousy in his voice.

'Do you want to drive today?' Sirius asked, taking his gloves and helmet off the hook.

Remus whipped around, surprised. 'Me?'

Sirius shrugged. 'Sure, if you like.' It was odd how Sirius was giving up control over his beloved bike so easily when he'd been nothing but possessive of it ever since he'd gathered enough money to buy it. He hadn't even let James touch it, let alone ride it.

Remus gazed at the bike with an unreadable expression. 'But I don't know how.'

'That's why I'm here,' said Sirius, kissing Remus on the cheek and dumping the helmet on his head. 'I'll be behind you the entire time, so don't be scared of falling, all right?'

Remus let Sirius put on the gloves for him. 'I'm not scared of falling. I've been on your bike before...just not as the driver. What if I wreck it?'

'Then I shall dump you forever and never talk to you again,' Sirius replied with all seriousness and burst out laughing at the incredulous expression on Remus's face. 'Go on then, up you go,' he urged, slapping Remus on the bum. 'I'll go open the door.'

'Padfoot, no, Sirius!' Remus screamed as Sirius pushed the accelerator and tilted the motorbike on one wheel before lifting off skywards 'Padfoot, its bloody daylight! Get back down! All the muggles are going to think they've gone crazy!'

Sirius leaned his body against Remus's back, guiding his lover's hands across the handles while kissing the back of his neck. 'Don't worry, love. I installed one more thing while you were away.'

'It's definitely not a brain, I can tell that much.' Remus swerved to the right to avoid a very obese pigeon.

'Sticks and stones, Moony,' replied Sirius cheekily, before reaching underneath the handle bar and pressing the invisibility shield. 'Brilliant, innit? We're invisible to everyone but ourselves. If anyone looks up, all they'll see is a shimmery patch of the sky.'

'And they'll think that the heavens are looking down upon them. Yes, it's ingenious,' Remus said sardonically. 'Tomorrow we'll end up on TV as UFO's Anonymous.'

'You really think so? I've never been on the telly before.'

'Really? Because I've been a soap star since I was thirteen.'

Sirius laughed. 'That's my sarcastic Moony. It's good to have you back. I missed you, you know.' He tightened his hands around Remus's lovingly even though there was no longer any need for Sirius to guide him; Remus was doing passably on his own. 'You really scared me last night.'

'Sorry.' Remus sounded genuinely apologetic though Sirius didn't see a reason why.

'How did this happen, Moony? I thought you said they were friendly, that they were willing to listen and even join at times.'

Remus sighed heavily. 'It was a misunderstanding. A lot of them are survivors from Greyback's camp. They think I'm behind the fire and the mob.'

'Shit.'

'I didn't know until they'd already poisoned me. It wasn't a very large dose...just enough to weaken me for a good three days.'

'Until the full moon. The bastards,' Sirius whispered, piecing together all the information. He felt a burning hatred for those werewolves who hadn't even given Remus a chance to explain himself. 'How did you get out? How did you escape?'

'I promised I wouldn't tell, Padfoot.' Remus let go of one of the handlebars to reach behind and caress Sirius's cheek. The leather felt sticky and uncomfortable against his skin, and Sirius couldn't help but feel a little disgruntled at Remus's reluctance to give away details yet again. As if sensing his disdain, Remus went on to explain, 'It's not because I don't trust you, and you know that. I'd lay down my life in your hands, but the information I have within me concerns more than just one person. If you were captured or tortured or even cursed, Padfoot, it would mean a lot of trouble for a lot of other people.'

A part of Sirius knew that what Remus was saying was reasonable, but it didn't mean he had to like it or accept it. He could, however, ignore it. 'Sit tight,' Sirius warned before he accelerated and turned the bike a complete three-sixty.

Remus screamed like a girl, caught unawares, and clung on to the bike for dear life as he felt himself move through the sky upside down for the longest ten seconds of his life. 'Sirius, you arse! I'll kill you!' he screamed above Sirius's barking laughter. It was exhilarating and dangerous and dizzying and so liberating from everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours that Sirius couldn't contain himself as he hooted and turned again and again. 'I swear, I'll slaughter you when we get home!'

Sirius was laughing even as he righted the bike with Remus still trembling against him. 'Fun, wasn't it?'

Remus punched him hard on the thigh. 'I was too busy trying not to die to notice.' He pouted and punched Sirius again when all the Animagus did was chuckle in response. 'I hate you.'

'Pity,' Sirius chortled, guiding the bike higher above the clouds. 'I hear unrequited love is a bitch.'

xxx

Lily handed Remus his tea. 'I thought Sirius was coming with you.'

Remus, James and Lily were sitting in the kitchen of the Potter's apartment, waiting for Sirius to arrive so that they could go to dinner together. Remus had never seen the apartment so messy; not with Lily around to always keep it spotless. There were labeled boxes lying around the floor, clothes and other odds and ends strewn across the sofas. It would seem that James and Lily were taking their move to Godric's Hollow quite seriously.

Remus sipped his tea, scalding his tounge in the process. 'I told him you wanted to have Valentine dinner together, and he told me it wasn't an important enough reason to miss work.'

Lily hummed. 'He finishes at six though, doesn't he? It's nearly seven now; I'd have expected him to be here.'

Remus shrugged. 'You know Padfoot. He probably saw something shiny on the way and got caught up.'

James laughed, but Lily frowned in disapproval. 'Do you think he's in trouble?'

'Nah, I would have known,' said Remus, leaning his chair on its hind legs in a way that Lily thought was very characteristic of Sirius. 'The worst that can happen is Padfoot splinching himself in a hurry.'

James looked at Lily questioningly. 'Remus,' she said slowly, 'er, I told James...about your connection with Sirius. I thought he might be able to help.'

Remus didn't seem offended by her confession, and Lily figured it was stupid to think he would be, given the close friendship he and James shared. Remus looked at his best friend with a raised eyebrow. 'Were you...able to help?'

James shook his head. 'Afraid not. I mean, I knew you had that connection, even before Lily told me.' He shifted his chair closer to Remus's as if preparing himself to share a secret. 'Do you remember in school? You could always tell when Sirius was around, couldn't you? You were never able to do that with either of us and well, remember how I got jealous about it once?'

Remus smiled. 'How could I forget the hissy fit you threw?'

James slapped him up the head, and Lily suddenly felt very lost between them. She realised that while she admired their close friendship, Lily hardly knew anything about the Marauders. She resolved inwardly to find out more.

'It's a lot stronger now that Remus and Sirius are well...together,' Lily said, breaking the verbal fight between the two boys.

James shrugged nonchalantly. 'Yeah, but it's safe as long as it's just a mental connection like you said. I mean, if Padfoot's hurt, there's no reason for Moony to be also.'

'The body cannot live without the mind,' Lily argued, 'it'll affect him to certain extent, I think.'

'Look, let's drop it, alright?' Remus snapped, obviously feeling awkward at being the centre of conversation. 'It's just one of those mysteries of magic we can never solve.'

'Does Padfoot have it?' James continued, not paying any heed to Remus's request. 'I don't remember anything of the sort from him back in school.'

'Remus reckons there might be, but we can't be sure yet. Given how oblivious Sirius can be, he probably hasn't even noticed it yet.'

'There's a way to find out,' James said, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. 'I've been thinking about it, and I've wanted to test the theory out for ages! What do you say, Moony?'

Remus shrugged. 'Sure, as long as it doesn't end with me dying or worse, ending up in the highway starkers.'

Lily looked at her husband suspiciously. Experiments with James involved rarely meant anything good. 'I don't think you should, James.'

'It's just a little cut on the wrist, I promise. It's somewhat life threatening so if Sirius really has the connection, he'll feel it.'

'Are you mad, James?' Lily screamed, appalled at his suggestion. 'You could break a vein! No, absolutely not. I refuse to-'

'Do it,' Remus interrupted, his face looking strangely determined. 'I don't mind.' 'Remus, no.'

Remus reached out for the smallest knife on the counter and pressed it into James's hands, tactlessly avoiding Lily's eyes.

'It won't be too deep. I'll just break the skin, okay?' James said, rolling the knife between his fingers and looking a bit more hesitant now that he was finally getting his way. 'Tell me if it really hurts.'

Remus nodded, watching as James brought the blade to his wrist. Lily watched, horrified and amazed at the same time when Remus's only indication of pain was an initial twitch of his jaw when the knife first broke skin. The werewolf had to have an amazing threshold for pain to look this impassive.

'James, stop,' she pleaded, trying not to look at the trickle of blood that wound its way down around Remus's wrist.

James looked up questioningly at Remus, who only shook his head. 'I'm fine. You can cut deeper if you like.'

James took a shaky breath but nodded, pushing the blade further into Remus's wrist, making the werewolf's fingers tremble the slightest in response. He moved the blade a little more forward to unmarked skin, obviously not wanting to worsen the wound he had already caused in case it proved fatal. James's hand was shaking like a leaf even as he did it, and Lily could tell clearly by his face that a part of him was terrified and sickened by what he was doing.

'Moony, I-'

The phone suddenly rang, breaking through the silence and startling all three of them. Remus, James and Lily looked at each other simultaneously. Their expressions were mirrored showing clearly that the exact same thought was going through all their heads: had Sirius felt it and called?

'G-Go pick it up,' James said unevenly to Remus after the fourth ring. He picked up a kitchen cloth, folded it thinner, and tied it tightly across Remus's wrist with shaky fingers. 'We'll fix this up later, go.'

'And put on speaker,' Lily reminded just as Remus answered the phone with a shaky 'hello'.

'Moony!' Sirius's voice rang out loudly with a certain note of urgency. 'I was hoping you would pick up instead!'

Remus looked back at them nervously, flexing his cut wrist almost subconsciously. 'How are you? What have you been doing, eh?'

'I'm fine, Padfoot,' Remus answered, this time smiling, and Lily had a feeling that there was certain smugness in that smile in having been proven right. As if reading her thoughts, Remus looked back at James with a raised eyebrow.

'Good, good, just give me a minute until these buggers go away. They keep trying to hog the phone and listen in, I swear.' Vaguely, they heard Sirius scolding someone in the background. 'Hey, you gave me a phone call, and I don't want to do it with you listening in, all right! Go away!'

All three of them blinked.

'Finally!' Sirius exclaimed. 'Moony, you'll never guess where I am! Guess, guess, come on!' Lily had the oddest mental image of Sirius jumping up and down in excitement as he talked. 'It's someplace really fantastic!' He hinted, the excitement barely controlled in his voice.

Remus shrugged. 'Er, the Leaky Cauldron?'

'No, no, you can do better than that, Moony,' Sirius chastised. 'Come on! It's the wildest thing ever!'

Lily rolled her eyes, while James and Remus grinned. 'Maybe he's on those muggle escalators,' James supplied helpfully.

'Or maybe he's in the primate section of the city zoo and has found his long lost twin there,' Lily deadpanned.

'I'm in muggle jail!' Sirius exclaimed happily and there was an ominous silence that followed.

It was broken by the strangled sounds of Remus asphyxiating. 'WHAT?'

'I know, isn't it fantastic?' Sirius asked, obviously misreading the tone of Remus's voice as excitement. It didn't help that James had fallen to the floor in hysterics and was screaming 'brilliant!' between uncontrollable laughter.

'I've always wanted to see the interiors of this place,' Sirius continued, 'and the guys are really nice here. They have cuffs, real ones and I need to get one for us! It would be so kinky! I think I might even be able to cajole one of them to let me take one! And there was this other one who-'

'Sirius, what the fuck are you doing in jail?' Remus interrupted, a mixture of shocked and furious.

Sirius quieted for a few seconds and Lily had another mental picture of him shuffling his feet sheepishly. 'Well, Lily said I should buy you a gift for today,' he said very quickly, trying to get rid of the embarrassing explanations and get to the fun part, 'and I saw those chocolates when I was coming home from work today. The ones that your grandma always used to send you for special occasions; I know how much you like them. But I didn't have any paper money on me, so I just tossed a couple of galleons to the cashier and told her she could exchange it whenever she wanted, and we sort of got into a fight. That ungrateful bitch, after paying her well above the price, she calls the police and blames me for assault!'

There was a loud beep in the background warning them of the approaching end of Sirius's call.

'Hey, mate, you got spare change here?' Sirius asked someone who Lily suspected was the 'bugger' who was monitoring him. She felt sorry for him. 'Come on, I haven't finished talking. Oh sod it! So anyway,' Sirius resumed his story to a dumbfounded Remus at an even faster pace, 'some way or the other, the subject of my bike comes up and well...I don't exactly have a license – muggle or magic...so, they brought me here and told me I had one phone call to make and none of us have a phone except Prongs, so I called!'

Remus slapped his forehead and James was practically having a seizure now. 'Padfoot, we're coming to bail you out, okay. Sit still and don't do-'

The phone clicked.

'-anything stupid.' Remus rounded on Lily, his expression ready to kill. 'You're paying for his bail and I shall slaughter you when we get back,' he forewarned before hauling James off the floor with his arms and marching out.

xxx

Many find it hard to believe but Officer Shyam, at the age of fifty four, had an excellent memory. He remembered most of his jailers and a lot of other people who came and went from the station. He also remembered the red headed woman from when she had come last year, distraught and searching for a friend who was standing beside her now along with another man (introduced as James Potter) who looked as if he was having trouble trying to keep a straight face. Either that or he was horribly constipated.

Now, if you had told Officer Shyam last year that people like that red-haired woman and Mr. Lupin (he remembered that one by name obviously) were associated with the likes of Sirius Black, he would have laughed in your face. Today, however, it seemed that Black was doing most of the laughing as he treated a well maintained (according to Prime Minister) justice system like a ride in the amusement park.

'Officer, do you think we could talk to you in private?'

Shyam tore his gaze away from Black to look at Potter and Lupin standing there, looking slightly hesitant. He nodded, moving a little further away from the rest of the men and looked expectantly ay both Potter and Lupin.

'Er, you might have heard Sirius tell you some ridiculous things,' Potter started and Shyam had to snort at the understatement of the century. 'We don't like to talk about it much, but my brother-'

'Your brother? Really?' Apart from the jet black hair, Potter and Black looked nothing like each other. If that was enough evidence to go by then Shyam could have been their father. 'And I suppose Mr. Lupin here is one, too?'

Potter frowned and looked at Lupin. 'Sirius is a cousin actually, but he's family, you know. We grew up together as brothers,' Potter explained, his eyes unwavering and clearly telling the truth, so Shyam let the matter drop. 'Remus is our...nurse.' Lupin broke into a fit of coughs, but Potter carried on, leaning closer to Shyam conspiratorially. 'Sirius is a little delusional most of the time. He's got an insane imagination and a really twisted sense of...pretty much everything.'

'So, really, you shouldn't take anything he's said seriously,' Lupin finished once he was done coughing. It was the first time Shyam had heard the boy speak since all of them entered, and was surprised to find that Lupin sounded very calm and cool for a boy distressed enough to run away only a year ago. He definitely didn't sound like someone who would slit their wrists, but the blood stained cloth tied tightly around his hand said otherwise. It might have been an accident though, Shyam reasoned. Potter might be right, even though Lupin didn't look much like a nurse either. Still, his obvious care for Black showed in his expression that was caught between murderous and loving.

Shyam looked over at Black again who was ignoring Mrs. Potter (the red head)'s scolding for

another officer called Paula Yates. He was asking her about doughnuts.

'Black does seem a little disoriented,' Shyam admitted to Potter who abruptly turned to his constipated expression again. Perhaps that was an expression of anger or disapproval? Maybe Shyam had offended him somehow? 'You should keep a closer eye on him,' he suggested to Lupin as gently as possible so as not to upset.

Lupin smiled sincerely. 'I will.'

'And you should renew your license by next week or that motorbike of yours will be confiscated, understood?'

Potter clapped Lupin on the back who looked wistfully out the window, presumably at his motorbike. For some reason, the sleek, black motorbike didn't suit Lupin's persona at all. Shyam could not even begin to imagine the boy spending hour after hour polishing the large bike until it shone bright enough to blind.

'Yes, sir. We'll be a lot more careful with Sirius from now on, I promise.'

'Go on then, take him home.' Shyam resigned, unsure of how to react as Black tried to take the box of chocolates that he had stolen from the shop and received a slap on the hand from Mrs. Potter in return.

It would be a relief to get rid of Black. Shyam was quite honestly getting tired of Black calling him 'Inspector Jack Regan' all the time.

xxx

'How did you cut your hand, Moony?' Lily heard Sirius asking as they all made their way towards their reserved dinner table. 'And don't try to deny it. It might be healed now, but I saw it at the station.'

James stiffened beside Lily, but Remus kept a completely straight face. 'It was an accident. Lily was making me chop vegetables for lunch tomorrow.'

'And your wrist looked a lot like lettuce, did it?' Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lily wondered how Sirius would react to the information of James cutting Remus's wrist for the sake of an experiment; the black haired boy could get extremely possessive sometimes and cases with Remus in it were always extra sensitive.

'Here we are,' Lily said, hoping to divert Sirius's attention from Remus. She slipped into the chair on the right, opposite to James and beside Sirius. 'Seems incomplete without Peter, doesn't it,' Lily said, fixing her dress and looking wistfully at the entrance.

James shrugged. 'It's that bitch of his; wanting to spend time with him alone and what not. Ditching his best mates for a woman, honestly, I never did that with you, Lily.'

'No, you only talked about her with us, twenty-four-seven, and drove us mental,' Sirius replied casually. 'I would have rather preferred you ditching us really.'

'It's not only today,' Lily continued, ignoring the glares that Sirius and James shot each other. 'He seems to be getting distant, don't you think? I mean, I know he visits whenever he can, but he doesn't seem himself anymore. I mean, he's seems terrified all the time.'

Sirius dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand. 'Wormtail's been in a state of constant fright since the day he was born. It's in his nature.'

'You're just reading too much into things, love,' James assured her with a smile. 'Relax. It's Valentine's Day. Enjoy my undying love and attention.'

Sirius gagged.

'Hm,' Lily replied non-comitally. 'You know,' she continued thoughtfully, playing with her cutlery. She wished the waiter would hurry up to their table already; her stomach was growling painfully from hunger. 'James never told me how the two of you got together. I mean, everyone knows our story, but what's yours?'

Remus looked at Sirius who shrugged. 'I don't think we have one,' Remus replied slowly, looking almost confused.

Lily rolled her eyes, exasperated at the boys' complete lack of imagination. 'Everyone has a story, Remus, you just need to bind in the details. When did you first feel attracted to each other?'

Remus and Sirius blinked, and James snorted. 'What you should ask, my dear Lily, is that when did those two not feel attracted to each other,' James said with an air of smug superiority. 'Padfoot was obsessively in love with Moony even back in first year.'

'I was not!' Sirius retorted, standing up suddenly. His face flushed from embarrassment when he noticed people turning to their table to see what the commotion was about.

'Were to; don't deny it!' James shot back quietly. 'I remember you always following him and trying to pull pranks on him just to get him to notice you! Wormtail and I saw it coming from a mile away!'

Sirius spluttered indignantly and Remus bowed his head, hiding a grin.

James rounded on Remus. 'And you, Moony, always sensing Sirius whenever he was close by and always standing up for him. You'd let him get away with murder!'

'I'd have let either of you get away with murder,' Remus replied defensively, 'and I think I have numerous times, too. I'm fond of all of you quite equally, thank you very much.'

'All right, no fighting at the dinner table,' Lily intervened, placing her arms between the boys. 'I'll ask another question, okay. What was your first kiss like? Was it romantic?'

'Moony was trying to throw me off the Gryffindor Tower, so I kissed him.' Sirius grinned, casting a wink towards Remus. 'It was fun.'

Remus stabbed the table with his fork moodily. 'You got me angry.' Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'And that justifies you trying to kill me, does it?'

'Hey, how come I don't know this bit?' James asked petulantly, looking between his friends. 'I thought I knew everything that happened between the two of you!'

'You were asleep or something, I don't know,' Remus dismissed. 'And I wasn't trying to kill you, Padfoot, I was threatening you.'

Sirius snorted derisively. 'Lies, all lies, Lily, don't you believe a word he says. Our Moony here is

quite the animal.' He pointed towards a large purpling bruise on the inner side of his right arm. 'See that, he did it.'

Remus frowned. 'Padfoot, you got that from the stunt you pulled last week with the bike.'

'Well, I wouldn't have gotten it if you had just shut up and let me concentrate. You're always telling me to turn left and turn right and-'

'Not crash into the ground and break your neck, you bastard! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have that bike today! Prongs made me your nurse, you know that? Nurse! For-'

Lily cast a desperate glance at James, looking for help. She hoped she wasn't the reason they would end up fighting on Valentine's Day.

Her husband simply smiled and raised an eyebrow. 'You should know, love, that there's a reason why we never talk about Sirius and Remus's relationship,' James explained gesturing at his two friends who were now bickering about who kicked whom in bed the most. 'It's lethal.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Oh hush, listen to the two of you, bickering like an old married couple!' Sirius and Remus's mouths snapped shut immediately at the comment. 'Almost five years together and the two of you don't even know how you got together.'

'Psh, of course we know that bit,' Sirius said offhandedly, 'Moony and I shagged after I ran away from home.'

'Then Padfoot got angry when I rejected him and punctured himself with the bathroom mirror,' Remus continued, smiling dreamily like it was the best thing ever. Either that or he could smell the rare steak the table beside them was having.

Sirius smiled back, resting his head against his hand. 'It scared Moony shitless, or course, and he realised how wonderful, handsome and irresistible I am.'

'He also realised that Padfoot was stupid enough to kill himself in that state,' James deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the lovesick looks his friends were casting each other.

Sirius nodded. 'So we decided that the best solution to all this was to sleep with each other regularly.' He blew a kiss towards Remus. Unfortunately, the waitress behind them thought it was for her and tripped over her feet, sending her tray of glasses crashing to the floor.

'And we continue to do so because therapy is just too expensive for either of us,' Remus finished, gesturing impatiently at a nearby waiter. 'The end.'

Lily slapped her forehead. From the corner of her eyes, she could see her husband laughing and clapping Remus on the back. He caught her eye and mouthed the words 'lethal'.

'I'm sorry I asked,' Lily groaned. She noticed that Sirius and Remus's dreamy expressions had not faltered the slightest and they were in fact, looking at each other rather lovingly. She realised with utter dissatisfaction and faint disgust that she would never understand those two or her husband.

'I thought it was quite romantic, actually,' said James cheekily. 'Oh, and Padfoot, those are mine. Moony's balls are slightly more to the left.'

Remus choked on his own spit, and Lily heard Sirius make a disgusted noise as he jerked violently in his seat.

'May I take your order, please?'

xxx

Sirius and Remus tumbled into their apartment, lips locked and hands flying to touch as much skin possible through layers of clothing. Remus felt his back hit against the wall, wincing in pain momentarily before losing himself in the feel of Sirius's lips against his neck.

'God, do you have any idea what you've been doing to me tonight?' Sirius murmured against Remus's skin, nipping just hard enough to leave a mark the next day. 'Driving me fucking crazy.' He fumbled desperately with Remus's belt buckle, growling loudly when it put up a fight. Sirius pushed Remus's trousers down, revealing long, lanky legs and a growing bulge in Remus's pants. 'Couldn't even - do anything about it - in front of Prongs and Lily.' Sirius grabbed Remus's thighs roughly, hoisting him upwards so that those lovely long legs were forced to wrap around his waist.

'Padfoot, wait...' Remus protested weakly, throwing his head back and groaning when it collided painfully with the wall.

'No,' Sirius commanded in between kisses and taking off Remus's jumper. 'I've waited long enough. I want you NOW.'

'Padfoot, come on. Padfoot!' Remus grabbed Sirius by the wrist, effectively stopping part of his ministrations. 'Let me down, alright? I've got something for you.'

Sirius, who had considered the entrapment of his hands as an encouragement to put his mouth to full use, stopped and raised an eyebrow. 'You got me a present?'

Remus smiled. 'Not quite. Just a little something for Valentine's, I guess. I mean...it is the first time we're celebrating it, right?'

Sirius hummed, reluctantly letting Remus pull out of his arms and feeling ridiculously empty about it. Part of the feeling was also guilt for not having gotten Remus anything on their supposedly "special day". It wasn't that he hadn't tried, but he had a knack of getting into trouble and causing havoc wherever he went. Besides, Lily could have been a bit more specific about what you were supposed to get your "boyfriend" for Valentine's. It wasn't like Sirius could give Remus jewellery.

Sirius could hear Remus rummaging in the cupboards and the clink of beer bottles as the fridge door opened and closed. He sighed, looking down at his crotch and comparing it to how it looked only seconds ago. 'You know, Moony, you're really killing the mood here.'

'Happy Valentine's,' Remus said as he entered with a small, heart shaped cake. As he neared, Sirius could see that the top was decorated with vanilla icing, with 'For Padfoot' written in loopy handwriting and a few distorted heart hastily drawn at the sides. One of the hearts Remus had carelessly pierced with a candle and the whole thing looked more like...

Sirius coughed. 'It's rather red,' he commented, not sure what to say as Remus sat down beside him, cake on lap.

'I know,' Remus replied, licking icing off his finger.

Sirius watched, mesmerised for a moment, before snapping back to reality. 'Lily made you buy it, didn't she?'

Remus rubbed his neck, grinning abashedly. 'She did. She actually dragged me out of bed to go

shopping. She finds it hard to believe we've never celebrated Valentine's before.'

Sirius shrugged, blowing out the candle. 'It's not like we could walk into Hogsmeade hand in hand. Besides, I always thought it was a bit daft, even back when I was dating those ridiculous girls.'

'I still think it's ridiculous,' swiping his index across the cake surface and putting it into his mouth. 'Not chocolate, but still good. We should get Lily to pick out our cakes more often.'

Sirius smiled, reaching out Remus's right arm and kissing his palm. 'I'm sorry mine didn't turn out that well. I know you love those chocolates.'

'It's the thought that counts.' Remus replied, closing his eyes a little as Sirius kissed further up his arm.

'You don't mean that.'

'No, I don't. I really do love those chocolates.'

Sirius smacked him lightly. 'Prat! You could have had them if you just let me take them from the station. None of the muggle officers were looking. I bet they're eating it right now, enjoying the smooth, creamy, rich tex-'

Sirius found himself spluttering cream as Remus shoved a handful of cake into his face. 'You bastard!'

Remus giggled, dodging Sirius's attempt to retaliate with more cake and ending up getting hit in the neck.

'You think it's funny, do you?' Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows dangerously before launching himself towards his lover. The cake lay forgotten on the sofa as both boys tumbled over, Sirius getting the upper hand and pinning Remus's wrists above his head. He licked the cake off Remus's neck with a single swipe of his tounge. 'Mm...tastes better this way. Moony cake.' Sirius chuckled at his own joke.

Remus mock struggled under Sirius's hold. 'It wasn't my first choice of a gift for you, you know.' 'No?'

'No. My first attempt was without Lily, but then she saw what I bought and had a conniption fit.' 'The one where her face matches her hair?' Sirius asked, letting Remus sit up underneath him. 'No other...'

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. 'What then?'

'Well, I was subjected to a three hour lecture about how I was an inconsiderate boyfriend with no sense of gift giving at all, and how is that romantic, and why would I want to give you something like that on Valentine's Day, so on and so forth. Apparently, my gift lacked thought.'

Sirius frowned in distaste. 'Did you get me socks or something? It sounds ghastly.'

Remus shrugged. 'I'll let you decide,' saying that, he rummaged his wand out of his discarded shirt pocket and summoned a dark brown package from the bedroom. 'Go ahead, open it.' When Sirius looked hesitant, he nudged him lightly with his foot. 'It's the least you can do after not getting me a

present.'

Sirius opened the package gingerly with the tips of his fingers. His eyes widened comically as the package revealed a black, silver studded leather collar. 'Moony, you kinky bugger! To think I always thought of you as the innocent one.' The collar was nearly as thin as a finger and when Remus helped Sirius put it on, it was barely visible from underneath his t-shirt.

Sirius gasped as Remus hooked a finger underneath the collar and pulled lightly. 'See, I didn't think it lacked thought at all.' He pulled again, bringing their faces closer so that they were practically sharing oxygen. 'I thought about you a lot when I bought it.'

Sirius smirked, running his fingers over the bow of Remus's lips. 'Thoughts are useless until you put them into action.'

chapter 24

The Kennel, March 1980...

'Happy birthday, Moony,' Sirius panted into Remus's neck, not bothering to disentangle their arms or legs as they fell, side by side, into the same pillow.

Remus laughed, still sweaty and high and delirious from post coital bliss. 'Happy birthday, indeed.' He kissed Sirius gently, again and again, just a light brush of lips.

'Mm, what does my Moony want for his special day, then?'

'Depends,' Remus answered cheekily, sliding a hand up Sirius's chest. 'What is Padfoot giving him?

I bet he forgot until the last moment, what do you think?'

Sirius pouted. 'Have a little faith, Moony. I thought about it all month, and I still couldn't figure out what to get you.' He nudged Remus's cheek with his nose. 'Give me a little hint, Moony, come on. Or I'll have to ask Lily for advice, and you know how that always goes.'

'Think,' Remus said simply, kissing Sirius's nose.

'Can I bribe you with a big sloppy kiss?' Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively and

brushing a knuckle against Remus's chin.

Remus snorted. 'Don't be cheap.' He rubbed Sirius's stomach slowly, sensuously. 'How about another go?' He leaned in to kiss Sirius but was held back, much to his frustration.

Sirius didn't look any happier; in fact, he looked positively pained. 'We don't have enough time for that, Moony. I need to get to work in a few minutes, you know that.'

Remus sulked. 'Can't you just skip work for today? It's my birthday, you know...'

Sirius laughed. 'Somehow, I don't think Moody will accept the excuse. Things are getting busier at the DMLE.'

'I noticed,' Remus added a little spitefully. 'We hardly get to see each other as it is without you having to work overtime. I know we're both doing it to save the world and what not, but we could do with a little saving ourselves once in a while...'

Sirius stroked Remus's cheek, wiping away the creases under his eyes. 'We'll get rid of it someday. Look, we still have your birthday party to celebrate. Prongs is bringing streamers.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Is that a code word for things that will explode in my face?'

'Could be,' Sirius replied, grinning conspiratorially. 'And there's always after. That's when the real festivities start.'

'You'd better not be late,' Remus warned, his sour mood lifted and the playful glint back in his eyes. 'I'm in no mood for celibacy.'

'Moony, my love, I wouldn't miss it for the world.'

'Many happy returns. You look fucking hot.'

Remus looked away from the window and towards James who was standing beside him, a bottle of cheap whisky in hand. He raised an eyebrow. 'Excuse me?'

James grinned and shrugged. 'That's what Elf told me to tell you before he dragged Marlene into the bedroom.'

Remus groaned. 'That boy has absolutely no self control.'

James uncorked the bottle of whisky with his wand and handed it to him. 'You look like you could use this.' He watched as Remus took a swig before placing a friendly arm around the werewolf. 'Knut for your thoughts?'

Remus smiled. 'Not thinking. Just...reminiscing, I suppose.'

James looked at him incredulously. 'Moony, you sound like an old codger on your sixtieth birthday. Come on, you're a real man today – twenty and all!'

Remus laughed. 'That's the problem, isn't it? I mean, I feel like I never got the chance to be a boy to start with.'

'Merlin, you're depressed. It's because of Padfoot, isn't it? I'll kill him, you know. As soon as he shows his face in this house, I'll kill him.'

Remus shook his head. 'He has a reason. Padfoot wouldn't miss it otherwise.'

James huffed 'He doesn't seem to be in danger, so I really see no reason. Marauders always come first.'

'Things aren't that simple, and I don't really mind.' Remus smiled, wrapping his arm around James's shoulders. 'I really am enjoying the party. It's been a while since the whole gang has gotten together, hasn't it. I mean, I haven't seen Bones since Graduation. She's gotten quite fit, don't you think?'

James chuckled. 'You'd say that, wouldn't you? She's had a crush on you since fifth year.' Remus's face turned beet red. 'Rubbish! She was dating Paul Scotts back in school!'

'Only because you were too involved with a certain dog to notice her! I bet you five galleons she's going to come over and ask you to dance tonight.'

'And I bet five galleons and the leftovers of my birthday cake that you're out of your mind.'

James clapped him on the back, emitting an embarrassingly high pitched war cry. 'Chocolate or not, that cake is mine, Lupin!'

'Forget it, Potter. That cake has my name on it...in white icing.' Remus crossed his arms smugly. James's smirk didn't falter as he looked past Remus's shoulders. 'Prepare to lose, Moony, my lad,

because she's coming this way in one, two-'

'Remus?'

Remus turned to look at Bones behind him, dressed in a pretty red frock and looking extremely pink in the face. 'I was wondering if you'd like to dance. I've been trying to find a partner all night.' She shrugged shyly. 'Guess I stepped on too many feet, eh?'

Remus smiled kindly. 'I'm sure you'll do fine with me. But before we go, I have one question.' He looked at Bones first, then James, who was looking haughty at having being proved right and won a fee out of it. 'Do you think James is out of his mind?'

Bones laughed, a sweet, tinkling sound. 'Doesn't everyone?'

'You owe me five, Potter,' Remus said simply, winking at James and leaving him glaring at the two of them as they danced.

xxx

Wormtail!'

Peter froze, cursing himself for thinking he could slip past the DMLE so easily. Sirius worked here after all and was bound to catch him sooner or later. He hid the documents in his hand behind his back as he turned to face the black haired man. Sirius was leaning against the doorframe of his office, looking as cocky as ever and surveying Peter in a way that made Peter more jittery than usual.

'H-Hello, Padfoot,' Peter said shakily and tried to put on his best innocent smile.

'Come in, Wormtail. I haven't seen you in a while, so don't think you can get away too easily,'

Sirius replied gruffly, and Peter's limbs shook, as he walked in, with the fear of Sirius knowing.

Sirius sat down, offering Peter a cup of tea before pouring himself some. 'Where have you been, Wormtail? I haven't seen you since the last Order meeting and when I do see you today, you're trying to sneak out without visiting. You're not hiding something, are you?' He said all this with a grin, but Peter felt that Sirius's tone sounded a lot more suspicious than playful.

'I-I've been a bit busy with work. That's what I c-came here for today and I was in so much of a hurry. I s-should be going now, really, so-'

'Sit down, Wormtail,' Sirius scolded, rolling his eyes. 'You can tell your boss there was a long line or something. Lily's been asking a lot about you and it's driving me crazy, honestly. So, you're going to talk and spend a little time with me, like the old times, yeah?'

'I g-guess I could spare a little time,' Peter replied, willing himself to calm down. He wished he wouldn't stutter so much; it was only Sirius – Peter had spent seven years in school with him after all. He just wished the boy wasn't so unpredictable.

'Damn straight. So, what is this work that you were in such a hurry for?'

'Oh, you know, couple of approval s-stamps and such. What are all these papers for?' Peter asked,

trying to change the subject lest he said something he'd regret later.

'What, these? End of the day paperwork of our activities,' Sirius replied disdainfully. 'Not like there's much to report nowadays with Moody increasing our security. He's started to divide one task between seven to eight Aurors so that no one knows what the main mission is. The old codger reckons there are Death Eaters infiltrating the Department.'

Peter swallowed his tea so fast that he scalded his tounge. 'D-Death Eaters? In the Department?'

Sirius sighed, stacking the scattered papers on his desk. 'Knowing Moody and his paranoia, he probably thinks they're everywhere, even in the Order.'

'The O-Order? You don't actually believe that, do you?' Peter asked, his heart hammering in his rib cage so loudly he was sure Sirius could hear it.

Sirius shrugged. 'Moody's as barmy as you can get, you know what I mean, but he's never been wrong.' He looked intently at Peter, furrowing his eyebrows and Peter trembled, knowing he was caught. He was caught and he wanted to run, run away as fast as he could before they arrested him. 'Say, you're coming to Moony's birthday party tonight, aren't you? I'm not forgiving you if you miss it. We've been planning it for nearly a week now and Lily's gone through the trouble of baking a large cake.'

Peter nearly cried in relief. 'Of course! I'd never think of missing it. Patricia has picked out a lovely present for him.'

Sirius wrinkled his nose in distaste. 'You're still seeing that bird then.'

Technically, Peter wasn't seeing her as much as he was assisting her. He'd been trying to get her into the Order in the guise of his girlfriend for a few months now, but Dumbledore kept turning him down. Apparently, Dumbledore hadn't known her well enough in Hogwarts and needed some time to consider the matter. 'Yeah, she's really great, you know; if you just give her a chance.'

Sirius waved him off as if what he said was irrelevant. 'Psh, it's not like you're marrying her or the like. She seems evil to me. I wouldn't even be surprised if she turned out to be a Death Eater.'

Peter was glad he'd finished his tea because he would have choked on it this time. He had to do something, he knew; he had to be sneaky and careful like the Dark Lord had told them to be. He had to do everything in his power to not get caught because his friends would never forgive him and even worse, the Dark Lord would kill him.

Peter tried to gather his courage and think quickly. 'I don't think so. Everyone's got a dark side, Sirius, not just Patricia. I-I mean, if you're judging in that way, anyone could be a Death Eater. Elphias, Shaklebolt, even M-Moony.'

Sirius laughed. 'My, you're getting defensive.'

'I'm just saying that everyone's got s-secrets. You can't tell me Remus t-tells you everything about his m-missions or even his personal life. I mean, if t-that's the case, then you wouldn't even know if he actually cared about you or was staying b-because you push so obsessively h-hard, right?'

Sirius frowned, the first traces of anger showing on his face and frightening Peter a little. 'Remus loves me and I've never pushed him into anything, least of all revealing his secrets. The Order's requires us to be covert, especially in jobs like Remus's.'

'E-Exactly!' Peter exclaimed, his voice going pitchy from the apprehension that came with what he

was doing, what he was suggesting. Perhaps he should have never started; what if Sirius rounded on him; what if they all did? Things could get out of hand. 'That's the way with Patricia and me. I don't love her like you do Moony, obviously, because you come up to a level that's sometimes manic and dangerous.' Seeing the murderous look on Sirius's face, Peter hastened to correct himself the best way he could, 'It's in a good way. I m-mean to say that she can have as many s-secrets as she likes and I'd still t-trust her.'

'Wormtail, you're-'

Sirius was cut off by Moody's head popping into his office fireplace and growling his name urgently, 'Emergency, Black! Grab all the interns and report to my office in five minutes! It's going to be a long night...'

Peter got up abruptly, thankful to the heavens for the sudden interruption. 'I guess I'll j-just go,' he said quickly, not quite meeting Sirius's eyes. Sirius was too busy with his cloak and his wand to notice Peter's obvious discomfort. 'I'll see you t-tonight, Padfoot.'

xxx

Sirius closed the door behind him and tiptoed into the house. He shifted the small chocolate cupcake into his right hand and lit the candle with a flick of his wand. The house was a mess: there were balloons and streamers everywhere and a lot of their sticking charms were starting to wear off; there were bits of what suspiciously looked like chips littering the floor and all their furniture had been pushed to the side to create a large empty space in the living room as a (Sirius presumed) makeshift dance floor. The television was on annoyingly loud and the only furniture that had been put back into place was the couch in front of it. Coincidentally, Sirius also found his favourite werewolf fast asleep on top of it.

Sirius mustn't have been as quiet as he thought he was being because Remus opened his eyes blearily when he sat on the couch. 'You came?' he asked in a voice which suggested that Remus thought he was still dreaming.

'I'm a little late though, aren't I?' Sirius asked sheepishly. He offered the cupcake in his hand to Remus as a peace offering. 'It's chocolate.'

Remus huffed moodily, blowing out the candle in the process. 'Lily's had sprinkles...and cream...' 'Why aren't you in bed, Moony?' Sirius asked, gently pulling Remus's head into his lap. 'Were you

waiting up for me?'

'Nu-uh,' Remus replied, burying his face into the warmth of Sirius's robes. 'Elphias had sex on our bed.'

Sirius chuckled softly. 'Camping on the sofa it is then. You're not upset, are you, Moony?' When Remus didn't reply, Sirius wound his fingers in Remus's honey brown hair, massaging and tugging gently. 'I tried to come, I really did, but you know how Moody is. I don't really blame him; things are getting really out of control.'

Sirius sighed heavily, taking a bite out of Remus's neglected birthday cupcake. 'I think I'm starting to believe Moody that there might be spies amongst us, you know. Do you remember we discussed about setting up protection for Liam Stille in one of the Order meetings? Dumbledore mentioned that Voldemort might be after him because he's sure to become Minister of Magic and he's damn good, too, isn't he?'

Remus snuffled, wrapping an arm around Sirius's waist. 'And we had a whole schedule set up, with different people on guard duty every night, except on Tuesdays because Stille spends all day in the office then and has enough people around him. We've been monitoring him for nearly two weeks now and nothing's happened, you know, despite Dumbledore going on and on about how much danger he was in.'

Sirius stopped stroking Remus's hair, resting his hand atop of his lover's head instead. 'He got attacked today, exactly when our defences were down. The bloke steps out for some tea at the local café and immediately gets cornered. His wife and kids are dead, and he's barely scraped through. On a sodding wheelchair, he is; hardly fit enough to sit straight, forget standing for Minister.'

'Fuck!' Sirius whispered, leaning his head against the sofa. 'Things are getting too complicated with this war. I don't want to think any of the Order members are spies, Moony; they're our friends. But no one else knew about this mission, you know. Do you reckon there is any muggle surveillance stuff in the Headquarters? You know, cameras and such things? It would make sense, too, wouldn't it?'

It was when Sirius didn't get an answer for his enormous tirade that he finally looked at his lover. Remus was fast asleep, head comfortably settled in Sirius's lap and legs sprawled all over the sofa and spilling outside.

Sirius smiled, finding Remus alluring even when he was snoring like a foghorn. 'Fine listener you are.' He rolled his eyes when Remus made a soft, displeased noise at the back of his throat as if sensing Sirius's half hearted reprimand. ''Night, birthday boy.'

xxx

April came and passed too quickly for anyone to notice. Sirius's workload was slowly piling up to an extent that was ridiculous for even an auror, nonetheless an intern. There were weekend shifts, missions from the Order, and even more missions from the DMLE. Some nights, he didn't even come home, camping out at the Ministry and returning at dawn for a bit of breakfast and a pinch of Remus.

Security in England had been tightened due to Moody's paranoia spreading across the Ministry, curfew had been shifted to eight instead of ten at night, and talks of Crouch becoming the new Minister were spreading. As if there weren't enough things to worry about, the Marauders personal lives and dreams were quickly fraying and falling apart.

James's parents had been attacked in the Potter Manor after Mr. Potter had published a paper on muggle-born rights. Luckily, both James and Lily had been visiting during the attack and while none of them escaped unscathed, they were all alive and the baby had been unhurt. James's dad, however, suffered permanent spell injuries that the healers said had to be avoided from happening again if he intended to live any longer. It was the second time James and Lily had defied Voldemort.

Remus, on the other hand, looked worse for the wear. He was constantly tired after his missions and rapidly losing hope on the werewolf population. Dumbledore had doubled the Order's efforts to recruit dark creatures into their side, now spreading to the vampires as well. Remus was the advocate for a majority of these missions and every time, he arrived a little too late and returned home with a defeated stance and the sick feeling in his stomach that only came from another failure. Curling up against Sirius and making love to him helped sometimes, but with both of them doing work for others, they rarely ever had time for themselves.

This time apart, however, only made their need for each other stronger, and they would cling to each other on the weekends spending every moment they had together and with their friends. Unfortunately, their time apart also had its downfalls; Sirius's insecurities regarding Remus's love for him were building, making him mull over Peter's words over and over again in his head until he would catch and scold himself for thinking things so stupid. Since when did he listen to Wormtail anyway?

I mean, if t-that's the case, then you wouldn't even know if he actually cared about you or was staying b-because you push so obsessively h-hard, right?

Remus loved him. Sirius knew that, even if they never told each other often. Sirius knew it, yet he doubted it. He doubted the love of the one person who'd give up his life for him. Sirius Black, epitome of overconfidence, doubted Remus. It was ridiculous.

I don't love her like you do Moony, obviously, because you come up to a level that's sometimes manic and dangerous.

Sirius did not push. He did not. He was not obsessive and he was not manic. Being prepared to die for Remus did not justify anything that Peter said. Sirius would die as readily as for any of his friends, and he'd proved that countless times. He didn't know what Peter was insinuating with comments like that because Remus loved him – loves him – and would always be free to leave if he wanted to. Sirius hoped he wouldn't though; he'd go mad without his werewolf by his side.

Sirius turned on his side to face the sleeping figure of Remus, eyelids fluttering from the dream he was probably having. He reached out a trembling hand, gently tracing the curves of Remus's face, his eyes, his nose, the bow of his lip, and the softness of his cheek.

'Moony?'

Sirius carded his fingers through Remus's hair. 'Moony?' He bit his lip, hesitating, before shaking Remus by the shoulder. 'Remus?'

Remus whined, turning his back to Sirius and pulling the sheets closer. 'Remus?'

'WhatisitPa'foo'?' Remus mumbled unintelligibly.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus, pulling him closer and burying his face into the nape of his neck. 'Remus, I love you.' He kissed the smooth skin of Remus's neck softly, lovingly, putting everything he felt – tenderness, devotion, even his insecurities - into that one gesture.

Remus groaned. 'Haf a wank, Pa'foo. 'M tired. Meetin' Dum'dore tomorr-ow.'

'That's not what I-' Sirius spluttered, appalled and embarrassed and indignant all at once. 'I wasn't trying to...I just wanted to tell you-'

Remus turned on his back to glare at Sirius with half closed eyes. 'Youwokemeup...'

'Yeah,' Sirius replied, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid. He stroked Remus's jaw, pausing to cup it. 'Say it back.'

Remus's look got sterner. He checked the bedside alarm clock and huffed. 'Youmental.'

'Tell me!' Sirius cried, his hand clutching Remus's tightly, and his voice taking an unwanted

desperate edge to it. He slapped himself mentally at the look of shock on Remus's face.

You wouldn't even know if he actually cared about you or was staying b-because you push so obsessively h-hard.

'Sirius, I love you, okay?' Remus answered shakily, now completely awake. He let go of Sirius's hand to rub his eyes. 'What's wrong with you? Did you have a nightmare or something?'

Sirius lay back on his pillows, feeling utterly empty and lost. 'Or something.' He snickered as if he'd just made a joke and Sirius was sure Remus was looking at him like he'd gone crazy. 'Moony, you know,' he swallowed, looking at Remus in the eyes now, 'you know that I love you, right, but if you ever wanted to let go...'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Oh for the love of Merlin, Padfoot, if you wanted to break up with me, you could have at least had the decency to wait till the morning, after I'd had some breakfast in me!' Remus moved closer to Sirius, moulding himself into Sirius's side and resting his head on his shoulder. 'Now I'm awake and single.'

Sirius laughed, a little relieved for reasons he really didn't know. 'I love you.' Remus closed his eyes and snuggled deeper. 'I'm still not having sex with you.'

Sirius smiled, adjusting slightly so that Remus's arms could wrap comfortably around him. 'Moony?'

'Hm?'

'Just so you know, I wouldn't die without you,' Sirius lied to himself and Remus as if he needed to prove something. As if he needed to know that Peter was wrong.

'Mm, I would, and I'd kill anyone who tried to take you away from me,' Remus replied serious and unhesitant, a note of finality in his voice. 'Now, sleep,' he finished, his usual tone of sarcasm and amusement back so quick that Sirius was sure he'd imagined Remus's previous statement.

The unsettling feeling of something being horribly wrong lessened that night, but never went away.

xxx

Sirius was having a spectacularly good day.

He was whistling, and singing, and dancing, and prancing, and twirling in a pink apron he'd gotten free with the self raising flour, and basically acting very much like Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music. He was, in less polite words, being a complete ponce. It was justified, he thought, not because he was having a weekend off after a very long time; not because Remus was coming home from Dumbledore's soon; not even because his Godchild was due next month. No, Sirius thought it was justified because he really was, by nature, a complete and utter ponce and needed to connect with his inner ponciness once in a while for health purposes.

To celebrate this occasion of ponciness, however, Sirius decided learning to bake cookies for Lily and his Godchild from the Cooking for Housewivesshow would be a lovely idea. Lily was at a current stage where everything irritated her, made her grouchy, annoyed, hungry, and demanding. It was not as if she wasn't all those in normal circumstances, but she usually never had any upcoming babies to blame as she did now. Of course, nothing soothed such moods better than pure, unadulterated sugar which Sirius was had poured a packet full of in his mixing bowl.

These cookies were going to be the best ever; Sirius decided as he put the tray in the oven and turned the heat up. As a pure bred Black, he was naturally fantastic in potions, so by principle, he was to be fantastic at baking as well. Also, he thought proudly, he was dashing and manly enough to carry off a pink apron; something James could never do and would irritate him grandly.

Sirius smiled, brushing his hands on his trousers and leaning against the window. It was a good day for a weekend. The streets weren't too crowded, but there were just enough people to add life into their dreary little neighbourhood. The sun was shining brightly, complemented with a soft breeze that made leaves quiver ever so slightly and whistled through the cracks on the walls. It was a lovely day for a walk and perhaps Sirius would be able to persuade Remus to accompany him to the park before they went over to James and Lily's.

Speaking of the devil, Sirius could see Remus coming down the walkway, arms full of groceries. He grinned as bright as the sun and quickly changed into Padfoot, bounding down the stairs in his fastest speed. He was running so fast towards Remus that he was in danger of tripping over his limbs in excitement.

Padfoot barked.

'Hello, my pup,' Remus greeted, shifting his carrier bags to the other hand so that he could pet Padfoot. 'You're very excited today, aren't you?' Padfoot's tail wagged like a windmill, back and forth, fuelled by his joy of seeing Remus.

Remus, his little brain supplied, smelled nice. Earth. Man. Love. Chocolate. And oh, he had treats inside the bag and he smelled happy, but he was worried. Why worry? Padfoot wondered. We should play.

Padfoot heard Remus laughing when he chased his tail. It sounded nice.

'Come here, love, come on,' Remus beckoned with his hand. They were nice hands: smooth and creamy and sweet, so Padfoot licked them affectionately. 'It's been ages since we've gone on a walk, hasn't it, and its such good weather today. Would you like that? Would you like to go out for a romp and play fetch somewhere.'

Padfoot's tail went out of control.

'Good boy,' Remus said and Sirius lolled his tounge out in joy. He was a good boy! Remus thought he was good! And then, Remus scratched his underbelly and oh, oh, Padfoot was in sheer, doggy bliss. He lay down on his back, legs spiraling and making pleased noises as Remus indulged in him.

Padfoot loved Remus. Remus's hands stopped and Padfoot loved Remus a little less. It was very displeasing.

'Come on then, you big mutt,' Remus said, chuckling and getting up from his knees. 'We'll drop off these groceries and come out again.'

Padfoot gently took one of the bags between his teeth, careful not to rip it. He could smell the food inside, along with minty toothpaste and spicy cologne. He trotted beside Remus obediently, hoping Remus would think he was a good dog and pet him again.

'Merlin,' Remus cried out suddenly, sounding very worried and stopping in front of their building. 'One of the flats is on fire. I do hope it's not poor old Mrs. Wicket. She's always overcooking things.'

Padfoot picked up his ears and sure enough, he could hear the faint sound of alarm bells ringing within the building. It wasn't very loud because it was old and overused from the number of false alarms that came with Mrs. Wicket's burnt fish and exploding cakes. No one in the building seemed to be taking it seriously either, staying in their flats, despite the various cries from people outside.

Padfoot looked up at the window where the curtains were aflame, his nose picking up the scent of burnt sugar. He looked at Remus questioningly, but Remus didn't seem to be paying any attention to him. Instead, he was looking up at their burning building and counting. It seemed an odd thing to do so Padfoot nudged him insistently with his snout. He whined when Remus still didn't look at him.

Padfoot's felt very upset and looked at Remus with wide, teary eyes.

'FUCKING HELL!' Remus screamed suddenly, startling Padfoot and making him drop the grocery bag between his teeth. 'THAT'S OUR FLAT!'

A part of Padfoot felt something very wrong about the situation, wondering if it was his fault. The other part wondered when Remus would play fetch with him.

'PADFOOT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT HAVE IT KNOWN THAT I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!'

Padfoot's tail fell. An old lady passing by glared at Remus and muttered something about cruelty towards animals and mental people blaming their problems on their dogs.

'FUCK! WHERE ARE THE DAMN FIREMEN WHEN YOU NEED THEM?'

Two hours later, Padfoot and Remus were standing in front of James's and Lily's new cottage, a few salvaged bags full of their things in each hand (or mouth if you considered Padfoot).

Remus had been very angry, still was in fact, and had demanded to see Sirius right at that moment. Sirius had only come out long enough to babble incoherently about sorry's, and cookies, and I love you's; but when Remus had started scolding him, Sirius had gone again and left Padfoot to be a bad dog. Padfoot didn't like being a bad dog.

In the end, Padfoot decided Remus was not as nice as he smelled. He whined pitifully when Remus refused to acknowledge him and rang the doorbell instead. Lily looked cheerful when the door opened and Padfoot's spirits lifted slightly. He looked up hopefully at her, hoping she would pet him and make him a good dog again.

'This is all your fault,' Remus grouched, inviting himself in and leaving Padfoot to follow, tail between his legs and ears flat on his head.

Remus was mean.

xxx

James, Sirius, Remus, and Frank Longbottom stood at the entrance to the shop, flabbergastered and speechless, just one step close to having their mouths hanging open.

Remus cleared his throat. 'So...'

Frank groaned. 'You know, when our wives sent us out for this, I thought it was going to be the

easiest fucking thing on the planet.' A woman pushing a pram glared at Frank for his use of language.

'Look at all these things. I'll never know what to get!' James picked up something incredibly strap- y that neither of them could name. 'What is this? Is this even important?

Sirius and Remus shrugged. 'Maybe we should just stick to the clothing and toiletries,' Remus suggested thoughtfully. 'Couple of shirts, powder, and shampoo: stuff we use, I suppose.'

'If we use them, why can't our kids just share?' Frank asked, looking exasperated. He picked up a box of baby wipes and glared at it angrily. 'Why does my kid need something jasmine scented to wipe its bum with?'

James sighed. 'Those two are having fun at the baby shower with all those gifts while we're stuck in here.' He dumped baby diapers into his shopping cart. 'I bet it was a ploy to get us out.'

'As if we wanted to be there,' Sirius snorted. 'I just wanted a beer and some television, but the two of you had to drag me and Moony into this mess.'

Frank clapped Moony on the back apologetically. 'Mate, you are so lucky you and Sirius are not having kids.'

'And still we get stuck with the daddies and mummies,' Remus grouched, dumping Merlin knows what into James's cart. 'Padfoot, we need new friends.'

'Hey!' James cried, offended. 'We're still up for the beer! It's not like we've completely lost it!'

Sirius and Remus burst out laughing, unconsciously leaning against each other a little too close and stopping only when the four of them received an angry glare from the shopkeeper.

'It's only a matter of time until the two of you get hitched with a couple of mad women as well,' Frank scowled.

Sirius, Remus, and James barely controlled their laughter. 'It's not going to happen anytime soon, I assure you,' James chuckled.

'Hm,' Frank pondered over a rack of Madam Malkin's Little Robes for Little Wizards. 'It's been a while since you've dated, hasn't it, Sirius. I mean, I understand Remus's problem, but you were quite the ladies' man back in Hogwarts. What happened?'

Sirius grinned. 'Lost interest, I suppose.'

James made a choking noise and had to distract himself with bottles of Magical Mess Removers to hide his red face. Remus patted him on his back a little too hard.

Frank snorted. 'Alice reckons it's because you're in love.'

James looked like he was going to have a hernia. Sirius didn't pay any attention to him and simply

smirked. 'Why would she say that?'

'Ah, you know women,' Frank said offhandedly, rolling his eyes and dumping a large unknown item into his cart. 'They have all these ridiculous notions of love and romance. There's a little fairytale spun out of gold for every bloke in the city.'

Sirius smiled at Remus knowingly and shook his head. 'Women.'

'Meadows has been head over heels for you, you know. Apparently, she's been practically flinging herself at you.'

Sirius's eyebrows rose in shock. 'Really? I hadn't noticed.' He looked at Remus questioningly, who looked back at him with an equally surprised expression.

'That's what I told her, too!' Frank exclaimed, nearly hitting James in the face. 'I told her we blokes are a bit dense when it comes to these things, so it's really a lot easier if someone just came and told it to our face or just kissed us.'

Sirius draped an arm round Remus's shoulders. 'Couldn't have said it better myself.'

'Alice refuses to listen, of course. So, she and Lily cooked up this pyjama party story about you keeping a dirty little secret in your bed.'

'Wait, Lily's on this as well?' James asked blinking, before bursting out into manic laughter again. 'Merlin, I love that woman!'

Frank looked at James as if he was crazy. 'So anyway, like all lovely stories, you're supposedly besotted to some hot little brunette with all the right curves in all the right places and a brain to accompany it.'

Remus spluttered, looking extremely offended. 'Curves!'

'I know! Tits and brains are the most impossible combination! Remember Felicia Sport?'

Remus looked ready for murder. 'Tits! I'll kill Lily,' he muttered under his breath, unconsciously smoothing a hand over his chest. 'Tits, indeed.'

Sirius grinned and his hand fell away from Remus's shoulders, accidently brushing his bum. 'I wouldn't say it's an impossible combination, Frank, but very rare and very fuckable.'

Remus blushed red, looking sideways in an attempt to change the subject. 'Do you think Lily needs these cummerbund things? I wonder what they're for anyway...'

'So,' James said, panting from laughing so hard. 'If this bird's so great, why's Sirius hiding her? I'd show her off, wouldn't I?' He looked at Sirius and winked.

Frank shrugged. 'Ask Alice. She'll probably come up with another tale about the girl being a vampire or something.'

Remus sniffed grumpily. 'Vampires aren't even half as friendly. They're dead, and they smell, and they're always angry.'

Sirius grinned, patting Remus's head affectionately and letting his hand linger for a while. 'Change the story to a werewolf, won't you, Frank. Moony's not too fond of the vampires; they give him indigestion.'

'Sure, werewolf, dragon, hinkypunk, whatever works for you, mate. Hey, look, they even have little toy wands!' Frank read the instructions behind the box. 'Anyway, point is, Alice has gone completely mental and she's taking me down with her.'

Sirius leaned closer to Remus, brushing their shoulders and fingers together lightly. 'She's a smart woman, Frank. I say, cut her a bit of slack and let her have some fun. What do you say, Moony?' he said, breathing against Remus's cheek.

Remus kicked James on the shin moodily. 'I say she needs to pay attention to details.'

xxx

Remus sighed heavily, looking through the third of the many muggle papers. They'd been living with James and Lily for over a month now and still hadn't been able to find an appropriate flat either because it was too small, too big, too pricey, too far away, and so on and so forth. Sirius could see him getting agitated and laid a comforting hand over Remus's in hope of soothing some of his anger away. Remus had been angry for a very long time now. Not because Sirius had burnt their flat and gotten them kicked out; Remus could never stay angry with Sirius for very long; but there were other things that was pressurising him. Things that mostly involved the war, the missions, and Sirius knew that Remus constantly worried about both.

Sirius looked at James and Lily who were making breakfast at the counter, wondering if they could see the frustration in Remus as well as he did. Lily was an incredibly perceptive woman, but sometimes looked past the simplest of emotions in an attempt to look deeper and overanalyse situations.

'I think we should go for the last one we visited,' Remus said softly, hands threading through his bed hair. 'It had a nice balcony and there's a park a few blocks away from it that Padfoot would love.'

Sirius brought Remus's hand to his lips. 'I like living here, Moony, and you're trying too hard. You need to take a break.'

Remus smiled. 'I will. Dumbledore said there might not be any werewolf missions this month. Word's spreading about my arrival and he reckons Voldemort might try to stop me.'

Sirius's grip on Remus's hand tightened. His jaw twitched slightly, but he resisted the urge to go screaming bloody murder into Dumbledore's office. He was about to say something when Lily slipped two plates of soldiers and eggs in front of them.

'I hope you're not looking through the papers for another flat again, Remus,' Lily warned, slipping into the seat beside Sirius.

Remus shrugged. 'I don't want to impose for much longer.'

'Psh,' James said, sitting beside Lily and sipping his tea. 'It's great having you guys here. It's like the old Hogwarts days again.'

'Mm,' Lily nodded. 'Besides, I've never had people helping around the house before.' She glared at James pointedly.

'Yes, these few days of surrendering to your every need, buying ice cream at three in the morning, painting the baby room each time you changed your mind about the colour, and carrying all your heavy shopping bags have been the highlight of our lives,' Sirius commented sarcastically.

James grinned. 'Saved me a lot of trouble.'

'I still think the baby room should be yellow,' Lily said, scrunching up her face. 'Pink is so...sexist!'

'But, Lily, baby girls need pink rooms!' James whined, flinging a piece of bread at Remus's head by mistake.

Remus snorted and wiped his face. 'And you're worried about your room being sexist.'

'I'm not painting that place again!' Sirius scowled, sending another piece of egg flying across to

Remus's head. 'My arm's still sore from the last time. Besides, the colour goes nicely with the crib.' Remus wiped his face again with a napkin.

'But the cupboard doesn't match at all!' Lily argued so vehemently that her eggs flew off her fork as well and landed with flourish, yet again, on Remus.

'You know, this food flinging thing is really not nice,' Remus commented, cleaning his face again and sure that no one was really paying attention to him.

'I heard Alice Longbottom gave birth to a son at two in the morning,' Sirius said, 'you think him and our little girl could end up playmates?'

'I heard they named him something awful,' James said, making a face. 'Nendell or something.' 'Neville, James,' Lily corrected.

'Whatever. Our little Harriet's too good for him. She's going to be the Quidditch star of the century, you just wait and watch. She's going to be the youngest player to make it to the World Cup.'

Sirius made a face. 'You're calling her Harriet? It sounds a bit wussy, doesn't it?'

'It's my dead grandmother's name,' Lily replied angrily.

Sirius and Remus coughed. 'Harriet is lovely name, Lily,' Remus said, smiling weakly. 'James wanted to call her Quaffle,' Lily said defiantly.

James blushed red. 'I did not! I wanted to call her Blaze, like fire!' 'Like that's so much better!'

'I think it's rather fetching,' Sirius commented and withered as soon as Lily shot him a glare. 'Of course, Harriet is a very lady like name. Very dignified, I'm sure.'

'My grandmother was-' Lily stopped, her face taking a horrified expression and her fork falling from her hands.

'Lily, honey, are you alright?'

Lily looked down and went as bright red as her hair. 'I think the baby might be coming.'

xxx

'Okay, Lily, smile for the camera!' Peter squealed excitedly, aiming Remus's camera in front of a very red faced, very angry Lily Potter.

'Are you joking?' Lily screamed while simultaneously trying to push. 'Tell me he's joking!'

'Mrs. Potter, you need to calm down and concentrate,' the Mediwitch said gently. They'd long forgotten her name in the excitement of the baby finally coming after nine long months.

'I'M CALM!' Lily screamed, grabbing the Mediwitch by the scruff of her shirt and shaking her

violently. 'CAN'T YOU SEE? I'M CALM!'

Remus didn't think Lily seemed very calm. It was a given really, considering that the tiny hospital room was crowded by all four, very excited, and hyperactive Marauders, a flustered Mediwitch, a very peeved Healer, and a woman in so much pain, she seemed like she was dying.

'I think I see the head!' James cried, practically jumping on the balls of his feet. James had been excited and anxious since the morning to the point where his face was as red and sweaty as Lily's. All the other Marauders followed him to go see the first glimpse of their Godchild and niece respectively.

'UP! UP WHERE MY HEAD IS! ALL OF YOU!' Lily screamed, breathing heavily. Her hair had come out of her bun and her eyes were wild, making her look very much like a mad woman.

The Marauders scrambled to the head of the bed, wary of Lily's wrath and not looking forward to angering her any further.

'Just a couple more, Mrs. Potter, and we're done,' the Healer assured, as Lily screamed murder from pain and frustration. There were tears pooling at the corner of her eyes, and James, in a moment of complete love and devotion for her, wiped them away gently.

'You can do it, Lily-flower!' Sirius cheered.

'Remus, tell your mutt to shut up right now before I KILL HIM!'

Remus spluttered, looking around anxiously at the Healer and the Mediwitch to see if they'd caught the meaning behind her words. Luckily, they seemed unaffected by Lily's temper tantrum and were focusing hard on simply getting the baby out. Remus looked at Sirius who had momentarily frozen as well, but seemed to recover when Remus smiled softly at him. Sirius grinned cheekily and winked.

'Congratulations on your first child, Mr. and Mrs. Potter,' the Healer said, holding a very loud and dirty baby up and smiling.

Everyone stared in awe, silence reigning over the hospital room for the first time except for Lily's laboured breathing. Finally, Sirius seemed to find the words to speak. 'Mate, Harriet's got a penis.' Remus made a choking noise that sounded half way through a laugh and an attempt to retch.

James did a shining impression of a fish and used the hospital bed stand as support. He looked about to faint as he watched the Mediwitch clean and wrap up a very pink Harriet and his very un- girly parts.

'I told you the walls should have been yellow.'

xxx

Remus woke up at five in the morning to the sounds of the baby crying yet again. He felt Sirius groan loudly and bury his face into Remus's arm.

Come on, Padfoot,' Remus sighed dejectedly, 'it's our turn to feed Harry.' He nudged Sirius gently with his elbow.

'I don' haf breasts,' Sirius mumbled into Remus's skin. 'Go ask Lily.'

Remus rolled his eyes, pushing Sirius away to sit up. 'There's milk in the fridge. Come on, Padfoot, we promised Prongs and Lily we'd help out.'

Sirius looked about to cry. Neither of them had gotten much sleep for the past few days. 'That kid is some sort of spawn from hell,' he sobbed. 'What is wrong with him? Is he broken? Did those pink walls finally vapourise his brain?'

Remus yawned and scratched his back idly. 'Just summon the milk and let's get over with this.'

Both of them walked to the baby room, still a lovely baby pink with stars painted on the ceiling. Harry was crying noisily, wailing and flailing; his eyes were scrunched up tight and his face red. Karma had come and bit James back in the arse and his young son was now dressed in a white baby pyjama set with pink flowers and snitches on them. They were, by far, the oddest pair of clothing Harry had to date; this was including the sick green bobble hat Petunia had gifted Lily on her baby shower.

'Is he supposed to cry this much?' Remus asked, warming the milk and testing it on his hand.

Sirius picked Harry up, rocking him gently to soothe him. 'Merlin knows. I didn't really care for Regulus much when he was born. Kreacher took care of both of us mostly.'

Remus hade a disgusted face and handed Sirius the bottle. 'You poor sods.'

Sirius shrugged, tilting the bottle further as Harry drank hungrily. 'Regulus grew quite attached to him, I'll never know why. I hated that elf to bits, but then again, old Reg was always a bit of a softie as a child.'

Remus hummed, not sure what to say to Sirius's sudden bout of nostalgia; Sirius's family was a sensitive topic and rarely ever talked about among them.

Sirius handed Harry to Remus who took over the duty of rocking him and patting his back gently until he let out a little burp.

'Cute little bugger when he's quiet, isn't he?' Sirius smiled, resting his head upon Remus's shoulder once it was empty and Harry had been put to bed again.

'Horrible hair; like a tiny version of James,' Remus commented, carding his fingers through Sirius's own dark hair.

'I still love him. Does that sound stupid to you, Moony?' Sirius asked, turning to look at Remus. 'That I hardly know this little person, but I already love him silly?'

Remus shook his head. 'He's adorable, even after he's shat on all of us and vomited at least twice on my best robes.'

Sirius let out a little puff of air, making Remus's hair flutter. He wrapped both arms around Remus in a prolonged hug and rested his cheek against the side of his lover's hair. 'We can never have that, you know. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've never wanted a kid until now.'

Remus closed his eyes, unconsciously swaying their bodies.

'I'm so tired of living through James and Lily,' Sirius said quietly, as if it was something forbidden. 'Didn't you ever want a sprog of your own, Moony?'

Remus shrugged, feeling his throat closing up. 'I couldn't do that to a child; not with my

lycanthropy. It's too...' he trailed off, unable to say anything more.

'I asked you if you wanted one, not if it was morally allowed.'

Remus looked at Harry through the corner of his eyes, black hair standing at odd ends and his tiny chest rising and falling softly. 'My dad gave up his whole life to have me. I think...I think there might be something to it...'

Sirius laughed bitterly. 'Yeah, maybe, but we're only still boys, aren't we? Little boys trying to be little men: getting married, having kids; neither of us is really ready for anything that's thrown at us. I caught James tearing up yesterday because he thought there was something wrong with Harry.'

Remus moved closer to Sirius, trying to disappear into the warmth of his skin. 'James is an only child. So, he's a little scared, is all.'

'Isn't everyone, of one thing or another?' Sirius kissed behind Remus's ear softly. 'I know you are. You're trying to hide it, but I can see it in your eyes all the time. What are you scared of, Moony?'

Remus tried to move away from Sirius but was held tightly.

'Why won't you tell me? Don't you trust me?' Sirius tucked Remus's hair behind his ears, caressing his cheeks and pulling up his chin so that their eyes met. 'Don't you love me?'

Remus's amber eyes bored into Sirius. 'I'm not scared, Padfoot; I'm terrified.' His hand ran up Sirius's back, drawing circles at the nape of his neck. 'I'm terrified of losing.' You, Prongs, Lily, Harry, Wormtail, my mother, my aunt, so many, so many...

Sirius caught Remus's lips in a gentle kiss, holding him close and cupping his cheeks lovingly. 'Me, too,' he whispered as they parted.