(Five)

Gambit followed the sound of clattering hoofbeats in the hallway and the looks of stricken wonder of those who had parted ways for the emotionally charged centaur as the poor creature had fled at a full gallop. It was no surprise to Remy when he heard the slam of the nearest Solarium door as Asher burst through it and into the safety of the garden sanctuary.

Remy followed him, hampered and left behind by the throbbing ache in his leg. Aiden had helped him, sure, but the injury was still present enough to send him warning pangs not to push it. He gave up on the chase, seeing the answer to Asher's problem had presented itself just by being in this room.

This level of the Solarium was especially private and beautiful. Only the highest ranking people were allowed in here. In the center of this area was a large duck pond, filled with lily pads, fish and frogs, and waterfowl of all colors. A generous paved walking path surrounded this large body of water and Asher was now using it to burn off a little steam, using it as a race track.

Asher was still running at a full gallop, his head down and his arms crossed across his chest, holding Smee tightly to him. The poor Mumbler had nearly tumbled from Asher's shoulders in his haste to depart the meeting room, but Asher would never have let his precious charge hit the floor. There were only just a couple of people using the path and when they heard Asher's clattering hooves, they made way for him just as everyone else had.

Remy came to a halt next to a large tree by the path, knowing it was an exercise in futility to catch up to the distraught Siskan. Even at full speed, it would take Asher a couple of minutes at least to make the whole circumference of the pond as it was. Remy leaned against the tree instead and watched as Asher burned off his emotional turmoil with a round of vigorous exercise. The centaur was moving quickly, running as fast as he could. The vision he gave was startling and magnificent even in his distress, he was as magnetizing as any racehorse, his body all rippling muscle and liquid grace. He was openly crying even as he galloped with all he had, but he was getting a handle on it, his shine changing as he was moved from tears to penitent prayer. He blew by Remy without slowing, going around again.

Remy waited patiently, seeing that this was something Asher must have devised as a method of controlling his emotions, it had the look of habit. This would be no different than Logan's meditative ritual exercising and Remy was grateful to see that unlike Aiden or Kimble, Asher was able to come down without violence. Gambit relaxed and stood at ease, sending off a steady hum of calm and patience, hoping Asher would slow and come to peace.

Asher went by him one more time a few minutes later, but he was slowing down. His pelt was now dark with gel sweat, his human torso drenched, and his hair plastered to his face. He was breathing steadily though, he wasn't out of control, just tiring. Remy watched as Asher gradually came down to a fast trot and then as he came closer, slowed to approach him easily and without haste. Asher then finally stopped, standing in front of him, his head down and his sides heaving from his effort.

"You okay, fils?"

Asher didn't reply, but came forward slowly, coming to lean against him and lay his head down on Remy's shoulder, his body vibrating only a desire for Masterly comfort. Of course Remy was quick to comply, embracing the trembling Siskan as he would any other. He grasped him all the tighter when he felt Asher sob once and release a vibration of grief, this time for Trishnar, the one who had understood him best.

"C'est bien, fils, it's all gonna be fine," Remy murmured, stroking Asher's sweat slick hair. At this moment, as was inevitable with any Siskan, Asher had revealed himself for the child they all were. Sooner or later, it happened to them all, that realization that they were all just very small and sometimes the world was just too big for them.

Asher calmed in Remy's deep embrace, his vibrations changing to ones of gratitude. Remy was comforting, Remy was safe. He would hold and comfort and never demand anything more than this simple platonic closeness.

"I'm sorry," Asher said after a moment, his voice soft. "It's all m' fault. I knows better than ta shows so much emotion. I brung it all on m'self."

"Dere ain't nuthin' for you to be sorry for, cher. Jus'.. Jus' dat you gotta be ready for dose dat don't t'ink like you do. Not everybody 'ere believers, especially some of dose dat suffered de mos'. You gotta be patient and quiet, neh? You got an idea, you can talk to Charlie quiet like, he'll give you a listen even if he don' take up everyt'ing you say, d'accorde? You just gotta be ready to take no fo' an answer."

"War an' fightin' cain't be the only option," Asher insisted still, his voice cracked and sore from crying. "It jus' cain't."

"Noey noes to the fighty fights," Smee mumbled, reiterating his Master's view. He was a bit windblown and rumpled from Asher's run, but his eyes were bright with love for his owner.

"Hmm. Mebbe so, Ash, but if you want Charlie to 'ear you, you gotta offer sumptin' constructive, not just de word of God. Folks 'ere need more n' dat."

Asher shivered, swallowing more hurt. He couldn't possibly understand the thought that what was so obviously right to him wasn't so clear to everyone else. He had been sheltered for far too long, the real world had never really touched him.

Remy sensed it, but there was little he could do to help Asher's entry into a broader world. Gambit held him, offering relief as best he could. Holding Asher was like holding Seth, he realized at that moment. These two were very much alike, both fragile, yet both keeping in reserve some kind of inner strength that helped them keep it together. Seth had Fallen, Asher had his faith.

His faith.

Remy immediately recognized that if Asher had been this upset over one such verbal assault, that his faith was just that foundation, and that it was something that needed to be maintained and nurtured for Asher's stability. For the first time, Asher was in the right place for just that. Inspired now, Remy took Asher's hand. "Come on, cher. Let's get washed up. Got sumptin' I want to show you."

Asher wiped at his tear streaked face. "What?"

"Come, on. It's a surprise."

Remy brought Asher out of the Solarium and down the hallway to the gym for a quick shower, then up another level to a place where Asher had never been. Here Charles had allowed several chapels to be constructed in much the same fashion as the markets had been, doing his best to accommodate all the varied beliefs of those he sheltered. They passed a synagogue, a mosque and a Protestant chapel before Gambit brought Asher in the Catholic church, figuring the Siskan would appreciate it best, with all the ornate statuary and lit candles.

It was a good assumption. Asher was awestruck by the beauty of the sanctuary, at all the art and wood and scented air. He whimpered in happiness, crossing himself automatically when he saw the large wood and plaster crucifix above the altar, an expensive piece of art made possible through generous donations by those who came here to worship. At the foot of the large marble altar was a small stone baptismal fountain constructed with a rocky waterfall and pond, its watery bubbly sounds a soothing accent to this beautiful place. It was surrounded by flowers and greens, adding to the natural beauty of the sculpture and no less a piece of art than the crucifix had been. To simulate the atmosphere of a real church in this structure, there were even stained glass windows. They didn't look outside of course, this area was still deep underground, but they were backlit with lights to reflect through all the various colors and designs. Two large aviaries stood tall to the ceiling, one on either side of the row of pews, that housed some beautiful white doves, the sounds of their gentle cooing a compliment to the tiny fountain.

They were not alone in the chapel. Logan's dear friend Kurt was there, doing a little housekeeping, brushing a broom along the center isle. He smiled when he saw Remy coming. "Guten tag, mon fruend," he greeted with a smile, his light German accent pleasant to the ears.

Asher broke into a smile of perplexed wonder at the sight of this strange man. Kurt was one of the most pious of all the senior X-men, but his demonic appearance was a stark contrast to his beautiful and Godly heart. Kurt was a volunteer here, moving up in the ranks as high as he could go without actually being ordained. He'd had the chance, but when forced to choose between the priesthood and being an active member of the team, had made his decision to move away from a permanent position in the church. He compensated for it by spending most of his free time here assisting the Father whenever he could.

"Bonjour, Kurt," Remy greeted. "Got someone I'd like you to meet. Dis my good buddy Asher."

"Welcome," Kurt replied, automatically holding out his hand.

"Yer a pretty one, kitten," Asher said without a hint of shyness. He was unabashedly looking Kurt up and down with all the innocent wonder of a small child. Kurt was slim and blue all over, and had a long pointed tail. Not your typical human by any standards. Not that it put the centaur off at all, Asher's grin was wide and friendly, all of his earlier distress gone.

Kurt laughed, surprised by the strange greeting. Most people were usually afraid of him, not captivated like this one. But then again, there was nothing usual about Asher at all. "Danke, I think," he teased, returning the smile.

Remy continued the introductions, trying to hold back his own laughter. "Asher, dis is Kurt Wagner. Some folks around here call him Nightcrawler on account of all dat blue, but mebbe kitten'll do for you."

"I reckon so," Asher said, shaking Kurt's hand while still marveling over him. Kurt had only three fingers so Asher had plenty more to look at.

Remy just kept on going. He asked Kurt, "Is de Father around?"

"He should be. I'll go and get him."

Asher was given another shock when Kurt simply vanished with a strange 'bamf'ing noise and a cloud of purple smoke. "Goodness gracious me!" Asher blurted out in surprise and took a step back, grasping his Mumbler with one hand while crossing himself again in fear.

"Easy, cher," Remy said with a laugh. " 'E a teleporter. Probably shoulda at least honked before 'e 'ported, eh?"

"I guess!" Asher replied, calming down when he saw Remy's casual attitude. This was one wild place.

Kurt returned in a more normal manner, coming through the back door with an elderly priest dressed in black. The old man paused in surprise when he got a good look at Asher, no doubt wondering if the heavens had opened up and sent down some sort of strange angel to visit him. "Well, hello there."

"Bonjour, Father," Remy greeted with deep respect. "Was wonderin' if you could do us a little favor if you got a minute."

"I have all day. What can I do for you?"

Remy slung an arm over Asher's shoulders. " M' good friend Asher 'ere ain't never been properly baptized. Was hopin' mebbe you could do us de honor."

Asher gasped sharply in surprise, his shine swirling with every positive emotion and color that existed and maybe a few more. Gone was his misery from just a few minutes ago, gone were all of Logan's angry and hurtful words. They had all been replaced by Asher's overwhelming excitement and gratitude. "He kin do that? Jus' fer me?"

"Yes, my son," the Father replied, amused by Asher's child like delight. "It would be my pleasure."

(break)

Logan sat on his barstool, quietly grumbling. He wasn't as angry as he had been earlier, but he was still simmering.

Asher, that bastard. Just like a Siskan to get all out of control and turn things all around on him. Okay, maybe he might have overreacted a little, but it aggravated him the way some people excused the bad things in the world as being the will of God or some such bullshit. It wasn't the will of God, it was just people being assholes, and everyone knew the world had more than enough of them to go around.

Logan tossed back his drink and thumped on the bar for another. Yes, he was downing these at a superhuman pace but he didn't give a shit and the bartender knew enough to keep quiet. At least his reputation as a healer kept him from being cut off, he had been here for over an hour and had downed more than any normal human could take without passing out.

This hadn't been the first time anyone had tried to reason with him on religious grounds. Kurt knew better, but that was only because they had already argued over this more than once. Kurt had used the same argument that Asher had, that all of this was somehow meant to be, and while Logan hadn't gone off as severely, he had frightened Kurt enough that he never brought it up again. Kurt had tried to say that God needed different kinds of soldiers depending on the job that was required. Sometimes God needed gentle people, and well, sometimes he needed someone like Logan. Like they way that the wolves picked off the sick to strengthen the herd.

Wolverine hadn't taken the suggestion well. Not that the argument wasn't legitimate, but just the idea that there was some guy up there conducting things and moving people around like little pawns on a chessboard rankled him more than he could stand. How could Jael serve any greater purpose? The freak was in it for himself and he didn't care who he trampled. That could never be for anything good. Never.

Logan thumped the bar again. This time the man came, but empty handed. "Maybe you've had enough, sir."

Wolverine growled a low deep rumble. "I don't think so. I'm ain't drunk yet."

That was a lie. He was quite buzzed and the man knew it. The bartender stared him down, deserving a medal for bravery. He looked into Logan's bloodshot eyes and didn't back down. "Maybe you oughta go home. I could call your wife."

Logan growled again, this time showing his teeth. "I'll have another."

The bartender nodded and poured, but when he walked away, Logan saw him reach for the phone. Not wanting to hear it, Wolverine tossed back his drink and left, swaying just a little on his feet.

Asher that little prick, who needed his shit?

Grumbling, Logan staggered down the hallway and suddenly wanting a little peace, stumbled through a door for the Solarium. It was evening now and the park was growing dark. There were some tall street lamps about spreading some light and illuminating several of the large park benches that had been placed here and there under the trees. He chose one of the benches under a large tree and shuffled that way, staggering a little from being so intoxicated. He found the bench – it kept moving on him, the stubborn bastard - and flopped down, landing with a thump and a hiccup, immensely satisfying. He lay his head back and closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet smells of the room, giving serious consideration to just blacking out right here.

"Mr. Logan?"

He cocked open one eye, only to see the source of his pain standing in front of him. He couldn't stop the sneer of distaste that crossed his mouth. "What ya want, Ash?"

The centaur had crept up on him, the soft, green grass blunting the clip of his hooves. Not that it was that easy to sneak up on the ol' Wolverino, but he was a bit sauced at the moment.

Asher held his head down, his voice soft and calm as he said, "I wanted ta apologize fer bein' so pushy earlier. I didn't have no right ta shoves my feelin's on anaone. You wuz right ta be upset at me."

Logan's head flopped forward, as close as he was going to get to sitting up and giving Asher his full attention. This he had not expected, the Siskan to come to him. Logan shrugged and waved his hand expansively. "Well, that's okay, kid," he said, thrilled to avoid having to apologize himself. Feeling generous, he went on to say, "I mighta been a little rough on ya, but that's just my way. Sayin' what needs ta be said directly like."

Asher nodded, but there was a sadness in his eyes. Logan had apologized for his tone, but not for the blasphemy. Smee wasn't the least bit mollified, he twitched his whiskers and began to rant, "Brighty shine with hurty words! Meany mean you are!"

Asher stepped back, trying to control his pet by shushing him with long strokes of his hands. "Hush now, nobody wants ta hears from you," he admonished, keeping his eyes down and away from the man on the bench.

Logan growled some in irritation but saw the submission in Asher's posture. "Yer boy's got quite the mouth on him."

"He don't means it," Asher replied, covering Smee's mouth so the Mumbler couldn't embarrass him any further. Asher had recovered some from Remy's generous baptism and the ceremony, though brief, had helped him get his head straight. The Father had explained that it was unusual to do an outright baptism, but with the threat of war looming on the horizon, the Father had been making exceptions. The Father had gone one further, giving Asher his First Communion as well, extracting a promise from the centaur that he would continue in his journey of faith by joining them in religious education classes and helping out with the needy of the Complex. It had been an easy vow for Asher to make, he would have done so on his own without prompting at the first person who asked.

In keeping with that line of reasoning, Asher knew he had to apologize now to Wolverine, to clear the air between them. It had to be done to keep the peace. Not that it seemed to have been a concern on Logan's mind. Asher could see Logan was trashed, that this poor human had been so unable to deal with the situation that he had even gotten himself drunk. "Well, all righty then," Asher said, giving up when he saw he wouldn't be getting anything further from Logan. It was better to let the attack roll off then to dwell on it. Better for them both. "See ya around."

"Yeah. Later, kid."

Asher nodded and walked off, his head down.

Logan watched him go, unable to miss the dissatisfaction in the boy in spite of his better senses having been blunted by drink. He knew inside that perhaps he should have apologized himself for some of what he had said, but it hadn't been possible. The Wolverine didn't apologize, not unless the screwup was on a grand scale, and well, that just didn't happen all that often. The kid had needed to be put in his place and so it had been done. He had said what everyone else had been thinking, that was all.

He lay his head back again on the bench and closed his eyes, letting the peace and serenity of the park wash over him again. The smell of the grass and plants reminded him of happier times far away from here. It was pretty sad when one had to build artificial parks just to find a safe place to sit and crash. At that moment he wished Jael would stop his hiding and just come out and fight, just so they could get it all over with. This standing around and waiting wasn't good for anybody. Not that he was in any condition to fight at the moment, mind you, but it would still be a relief. He took a deep breath and relaxed, never feeling himself fall asleep.

He had no idea how long he was there on the bench but when he finally woke up, he knew he wasn't alone. Remy was sitting there, quietly gazing out over the pond as he shuffled cards loosely from one hand to the next. It was hard to be certain about the time in here without a real sky, but the sparkling reflection of stars in the big overhead mirrors hinted that it was quite late, well after midnight.

Logan snorted and stretched, "What you doin' here?"

Remy grinned. "Karen send me. Lee at de bar said you was trashed. She didn't want to leave de kids dis late."

Wolverine grunted, but wasn't in a huge hurry to move. Of course Karen would worry, but she also knew he could handle himself. She knew how it was with him, so she did, and that was why it was the thief here watching over him instead of herself. Better for Remy to be here looking over him and avoid a fight. This wasn't the first time he had been gone a long time without telling her anything and it probably wouldn't be the last. Karen probably wasn't pleased. "Molly know yer out here?"

Gambit nodded. "Ash is wit 'er. He fascinated by de whole pregnancy t'ing. 'E can't wait to see de twins when dey pop. Gonna be good for a laugh," he finished with a grin. "Knowin' 'im, 'e gonna steal dem away from me, either him or Kim. Siskans got a weakness for de chil'ren."

Logan grunted again, biting down on a comment that would have gotten him in trouble. He had never really felt that Kimble would have harmed Angel sexually, he just never got that feel off the guy and he had known his share of perverts over the years. Just the same, Kimble's weaknesses still made him nervous. "Kim was always a good dad fer Angel," he finally admitted. That kid had a good head on her shoulders and Kimble had had a lot to do with that.

Remy smiled, always happy to hear a compliment dropped Kimble's way. He rose and stretched himself, a sure sign that he had been there a while. "Well, old man. Unlike you, dis boy's got a life. What you say you go on home and let me off watch, eh?"

Wolverine nodded and got up. As drunk as he had been, he felt fine now. There was a lot to be said for having a healing factor, he wasn't hung over. "Go on home."

Remy just grinned stubbornly. "After you, patron."

Logan nodded and got moving. The thief fell into step beside him and they made their way to Logan's place saying nothing more. Being teammates this long, they didn't have to. Wolverine allowed himself to be escorted and waved Remy off at his door, slipping inside. Karen wasn't up, the place was dark and filled with the sounds of sleeping people, always warm and cozy to his ears. He paused in the doorway of his daughters' room, peeking in on them like a benevolent watchdog. He would not see them harmed, his precious babies.

A nightlight twirled in one corner, dancing light across their sleeping faces and for one precious moment, Logan shivered as a sense of something holy danced across his senses. It came to him that it was regret, regret for his harsh words to Asher that came on him suddenly now, like a ghost that wouldn't let things lie quiet. It was hard not to believe in some sort of benevolent divine presence when you looked on such beautiful and innocent creatures such as these, to see that new life that had seemingly sprung from nothing. If Asher had been standing right there, perhaps Logan could have found in him to say something, but the centaur was not and the moment would pass long before he saw the Siskan again, he knew it. Just the same, Logan grumbled something that resembled an apology to whatever divine spirit might be within listening distance and slipped away, heading for his own bedroom and his wife.

Karen was curled up asleep and hardly moved when he climbed into bed, but snuggled against him willingly enough when he wrapped himself around her. These were the things that Logan believed in, things that could be touched and felt and smelled, but that ghost still lingered even now. This precious life that he held so tightly was a gift, just like the ones that slept nearby. If he wasn't careful, these gifts could be taken away. He would be foolish to take them all for granted.

Not for the last time, he made a promise to himself to keep better watch of his mouth and concentrate on the things that really mattered. He would plan for Jael and do his best to see that they put up the best defense. He could do these things and walk a bit more carefully around Asher. The promise made, he closed his eyes and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.