A/N: Another weird one-shot

Disclaimer: I own Naruto...OH, COME ON! You know that's a joke!

Summary: It's good guys versus the bad guys when the baddies wanna cut Naruto's throat open. Who knows what you're dealing with when you're in a room with chaotic shinobis!

Genre: Humor

Casting: Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Sai, Tsunade, Shikamaru, Hinata, Orochimaru, Deidara, Ksiame, Kabuto, and last but not least, ITACHI!

Twelve Chaotic Shinobi's
By Shanghai Honey

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It was another one of those days where Naruto felt helplessly and particularly lousy. The air was thin, and hardly enough to breath in with. He noticed his hands were tied extremely tight to a chair. That, along with his feet. It was highly uncomfortable, and he had no idea what was going on.

His head was currently throbbing in pain and he felt the blood rushing through his head. It was as if he was hit by some sort of big, humongous, fifty-foot bird.

"Come on, Deidara. Was it really necessary to land a fifty-foot bird on the kid's face?" a voice consulted with another.

"Yeah." the voice replied.

Ironic.

Naruto slowly opened his eyes only to find himself tied to a chair, sitting in a small, dark room, filled with exactly eleven people. Odd. He seemed to know a few of them.

"Geez, a guy gets trampled by a bird and he's out for ten hours." Sai rolled his eyes arrogantly.

Confounded and fearing for the worst, he struggled in his seat. "What's going on?"

Looking around the table, he found Sakura, Sasuke, Sai, Hinata, and Shikamaru on his right side. Orochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi, Deidara, and Kisame on his left. Therefore, in the middle, sat Tsunade.

"Why am I tied up?"

"Be grateful, kid. It was either that, or hang you by the toes over a flaming, hot, boiling mound of lava." Kisame spoke.

Naruto gulped.

"April fool's day!" he laughed.

"Don't worry, Naruto. We won't let the bad guys win." Sakura smiled reassuringly.

Naruto had no idea what she meant by that, but he felt that heavy chip on his shoulder lifted away for good. So regardless of the S-class Shinobi's, some of the most powerful, evil on the planet, he felt great.

"Unless we do, then you'll die." said Itachi.

Naruto suddenly felt really bad.

"Naruto, you're probably wondering why you are here." said Tsunade.

"Hell yeah!" Naruto replied rudely.

"You see, the bad guys, on your left, want you dead or for some stupid reason." she said. "And I personally have nothing against that." Somehow, he knew it was like that. "But seeing as how people actually care for you, I have no choice but to set you into court."

"This looks nothing like court-"

"Well, its close enough!"

Enough was said, and the protesting began.

Orochimaru began his protest. "March 11th. Fifth day of the week. It was cold and the winds were highly abusive. It was a perfect day for murder. But HE!" reffering to Naruto. "Ruined everything when he warned everyone of my presence, causing everyone in chaos! I didn't even get to kill-"

Orochimaru was interrupted by Tsunade's quick tongue. "You do realize you're helping the good guys win the case."

Orochimaru paused. He stared at his temperary comrads, and all nodded their heads. "Oh." he muttered softly. "Let me start over." he coughed nervously.

Naruto let out a relieved breath knowing Orochimaru had nothing on him.

"About two months ago, he killed fifty of my best men-"

"What!" Naruto pannicked.

"Fifty of my best men in combat were dead. I was in pain for days."

"What do you care? You practically killed a thousand of your own in your day!"

"I was young-"

"What? Sixty?"

"And idiotic."

"You got that right!" Naruto scoffed. "Weren't you the one who starved, scourged, and gulged some little girl's eyes out two or three days ago?"

Orochimaru glowered down at him. "How could you possibly know that?" he said. "And besides, even if I did starve, scourge and gulged some girl's eyes out, I didn't kill her."

"All right, all right." Tsunade broke up the fight. "Enough arguing. Orochimaru, you made your point, and honestly, it sucked. So one point for the good guys!"

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed joyously.

Orochimaru, knowing her process was inevitable, sat down and sulked in his chair.

"Its your turn to speak, Sai."

"Ok." Sai rose in his position and cleared his throat. "He's an ok guy." and with that thorough response, he sat down.

Tsunade sighed. "One point goes to the bad guys for Sai's lame protest."

"You never liked me." Naruto hissed in Sai's face.

The bad guys did a hi-five.

"Nice going." Sakura sneered at the supposedly innocent Sai. "Who's side are you on?"

"I guess his." Sai said pointing at the blond boy who was currently picking at his scab.

"Ok, who wants to go next."

Deidara looked around the room. No one seemed to want to go next, so he raised his hand shyly.

"Go ahead." said Tsunade.

Just when Deidara was about to make a statement, Itachi piped in.

"Whoa, whoa." he said, noticing the awkward glare Sasuke was giving him. "Why does birdie always get to go first? I mean, I'm practically the leader of EVERYONE, I should go first-"

"Well then you should have spoke up. And his name is Deidara."

Itachi gaped. "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Deidara is a guy?" Deidara threw Itachi a cold glare. This was big news for Itachi.

"So not the point!" Naruto piped in.

"Shall we continue?" Tsunade's vain looked like it was about time to explode.

Itachi muttered something about confusing genders and sat in his seat.

"Anyways," Deidara spoke. "I'd like to bring a witness into the room, if it's ok with you, yeah?"

Tsunade nodded her head in approval.

Deidara whistled a lovely tune that Mary Poppins would most likely whistle, and a bird flew in. "This is my favorite pet bird, Taku." he stated.

"Aw." everyone (except Naruto) replied.

"And he was murdered." a single tear formed in his eye.

Everyone looked confused.

"Uh, don't mean to burst your bubble, but that bird is far from dead." Shikamaru observed the bird trying to mate with another one.

"Of course he's dead!" Kisame said, and not because he wanted to win this case...

"Its a clay model." Replied Deidara. "I make a living creating clay birds and making them kill everyone. But Taku was real. And he always hung by my side when I finished exterminating a village."

Hinata sniffed. "T-That's so sad."

"And now he's dead." Deidara whimpered. "And its all because of HIM!" he pointed an acusing finger at Naruto.

"I never!" he cried.

Tsunade's eyes flowed with tears. "Naruto, you heartless bastard." she blubbered.

"What the-"

"I never would've thought he'd do something so sickening and evil like that." Sasuke nodded his head.

"Who's side are you on?"

"Point two for the bad guys." cried Tsunade.

"Yeah!" they did the wave.

Tsunade dried her tears and moved along. "Hinata, it is your turn to vocalize."

Hinata nodded her head. "I-"

"Wait a sec!" Itachi butted in again.

Everyone groaned.

"I just want to say, the only reason this girl is here is because she has a humongous love affair with fox boy! And I don't think she should have a say in this." he stated.

Tsunade thought about this. Hinata shook in her boots. And for the first time in life, the bad guys prayed to the gods.

"You're absolutely right."

Hinata glared at Itachi and pointed at him. "You, me, parking lot, seven o'clock."

"Ooooo," everyone in court uttered.

Itachi pretended not to look nervous.

"Point goes to the bad guys." said Tsunade. "All right, Kisame. You're next."

Kisame unrolled a scroll almost in the twenty foot range, and slipped on his reading glasses. "Two years ago, I planted an entire garden within a one year period. There were roses, tulips, watermelon-"

"By the way, I ate one." Itachi voiced in.

"What the-IT WAS YOU!" Kisame's eyes bulged out. "All this time I was blaming it on Sasori!"

"So?" Itachi shrugged.

"He's dead now!"

"Moving on." Tsunad growled

Kisame muttered. "As I was just about finished planting my coconut seeds, I heard someone come in from the back door. There was a glare and I couldn't really see, but I know for a fact that it was him who burnt m garden to a crisp!" he pointed at Naruto.

Naruto shrugged.

"You're only assuming it was Naruto." said Sakura. "It could've been anyone!"

Kisame stuck out his tongue.

"Therefore, the good guys recieve a point." said Tsunade.

"YEAH!" they busted a move.

Kisame growled. "This just isn't fair! I worked so hard on my lovely garden-"

Tsunade waved him off. "And now it is Sakura's turn."

Sakura smirked with gratitude. "Thank you." she said. "I would just like to say, that Naruto is a really good person and he doesn't deserve to be murdered by a bunch of evil wannabe's."

"Oh, come on!" the guys on Naruto's left spat at her.

"You do remember the time Naruto saved Sasuke from the evil clutches of Orochimaru?" Tsunade shook her head in remembrance. "And the time Naruto helped Shikamaru get on his feet when both his legs were broken?"

Shikamaru winced in pain, he could still feel it.

"And the time he relieved Sai from the pressure of the ways of a shinobi." Sai sighed and nodded his head honestly. "And the time he aided Hinata...er...," she scratched her head. "And the time he snapped me out of my shallow ways and made me realize how much I actually care for him."

Sasuke glanced at both Naruto and Sakura. A very awkward moment took place.

"Oh, sure." Itachi rolled his eyes. "But what has he ever done for me?"

"Or me!" shouted Kabuto.

"Or me!" Deidara shrieked.

"You nerds don't count." Sakura scoffed.

Tsunade patted her precious student on her head. "Good girl. Point for the good guys." she announced.

"That's just favoritism." Orochimaru muttered.

"Kabuto, its your turn."

Kabuto folded his hands together, making it seem he was a genius. "Now, you may be wondering why I look really radiant or something."

"Or something." muttered Sasuke.

"It is because I an normal. Therefore, Naruto is not!" he made his speech clearly stated. "You see, ever since day one, Naruto's been an odd ball. Born with a demon in him, grew whiskers out of his cheeks, and somehow, was able to form a tiny mole on the right side of his testicles."

Naruto gaped. "How did you know that!"

Kabuto cleared his throat. "Anyhow, because Naruto is highly unusual, I think its best if you hand him over to Orochimaru, the great."

"Unusual? You shouldn't be talking, Kabuto. Your left butt cheek is bigger than the other." Sakura replied.

Kabuto paused. He looked down at his bottom and glowered. "Curse you." he hissed.

"That's enough. Kabuto, your protest was absolutely pointless. Point goes to the good guys."

"Heehee." Naruto chuckled.

Tsunade turned to the 'good' side of the table. "Shikamaru, it is your turn-" She watched the boy snore in his deep, deep sleep. It was utterly annoying. "Shikamaru...," she growled.

Nara still seemed to be in a deep sleep. Tsunade was annoyed to the point where she couldn't stand it anymore.

"Oh, that's it!" she turned to the bad guys. "Another point for you."

"WHAT!" the good guys exclaimed.

"That's not fair Tsunade!" Naruto kicked his feet against the chair. "He didn't even say anything!"

"Exactly." Tsunade mumbled.

"But-"

Naruto was cut off. "Oh, shut up, fox boy. This has nothing to do with you." said Kisame.

"This has EVERYTHING to do with me!"

Who knows how long Shikamaru's been asleep. Everyone on Naruto's right glared down on the idiot. "Damn you." the thoughts were mutual.

"Moving on. Who's next?"

Itachi raised his hand high.

"Is there anyone else?" Tsunade muttered desperately.

Itachi raised it higher.

"Fine." she sighed in defeat. "Itachi?"

Itachi stood his ground with pride and cleared his throat. "You see, Tsunade. I have known Naruto ever since he was born. He's done some nasty pranks, but one of his most successfuls went a little too far." he said.

Sasuke covered his eyes. He knew very well what the up coming event was.

"Everyone...," he plopped himself on the big rectangular table. "I'll show you...," and with that, he pulled down his pants. "THIS!"

"AH!" everyone wanted desperately to make a desperate run for it.

"Put it away, put it away!" ordered Tsunade.

Itachi pulled his pants back up. "That is the scar I recieved when Naruto decided it would be funny to try to lit my pants on fire."

Naruto laughed nervously. Trying to get out of this situation was inevitable.

"You heartless bastard." Tsunade hissed.

"I was young!"

"What? Six?" Orochimaru teased.

"Yeah." he replied

Orochimaru paused. "Oh."

"Point goes to Itachi and his gang of evil guys." Tsunade declared. "Who's next?"

Sasuke raised his hand.

"Anyone else-"

"I'm the only one left!" he exclaimed.

"Fine." she mumbled.

Sasuke lifted his head up. "Naruto." he sighed. "Is." he struggled to say. "My best friend."

Naruto simply blinked.

"Phew, glad I got that out of my system." he sat back down.

Tsunade wiped a tear from her face. "That was beautiful." she sniffed.

"What the-" Itachi was cut off.

"Point for the good guys."

"Oh, come on!" the bad guys threw their arms in the air. "What kind of statement was that?"

Sai quirked an eyebrow. "For the first time in my life, I agree with them."

Sasuke glared at him. "You never liked me."

Tsunade spoke, "It took a lot of courage for Sasuke to say something so heartfelt and glorious like that. It was too beautiful. Therefore, Sasuke gets a point."

"Is everything around here based on favoritism!" Orochimaru exclaimed.

Tsunade, along with everyone else, ignored him. "Ok, and the winner of the debate is...,"

Everyone leaned in, anxious to hear her reply.

"It's a tie!" she announced.

"Damn it!" they all shouted.

"Well, I guess the only thing to do is-," Tsunade said.

Just when Tsunade was about to declare a war of rock, paper, scissors, something crashed into the ceiling and fell directly on Naruto's sensitive skull.

"Kakashi!" they all exclaimed in shock and surprise.

"Yo." he scratched his head nervously and forced himself up.

The bad guys looked down to where he landed and noticed Naruto wasn't moving.

"I think he's dead, yeah?" said Deidara.

"Really? Is he?" they all thought.

"Er...sorry." Kakashi shrugged.

Tsunade pressed her finger against the pressure point and sighed. "He's gone."

"NO!" the good guys fell to their knees and cursed. Everyone glared at Kakashi.

"It was an accident!" he said in defense. "How was I supposed to know spying led to death!"

The bad guys shrugged and went their serperate ways. "Mission acomplished." they chuckled and was planning on having a big party afterwards.

Tsunade waited anxiously until they were out of the hearing range and chuckled.

"What's so funny? He's freaking dead!" Sakura cursed.

Tsunade's chuckle grew worse. "April fool's day!" she shrieked.

The End

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A/N: To those of you who are currently reading the other fic A GAME OF GO FISH, sorry for the wait. I'm still out of ideas, and the ideas I have now are stored for my future fics. I can honestly say, I'm sorry. Hope you enjoyed this short one-shot.