A/N: Another one-shot (no, duh) from your's truly, Shanghai Honey. WHOOO! People, do the wave!

Disclaimer: I never liked apples.

Summary: The newest upcoming event in Konoha is their famous dance marathon! Struggling to find dates and what not, it all ends up well...or does it? I only have two words for you: KILL TSUNADE!

Genre: Humor

Casting: Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Neji, Lee, Tenten, Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Tsunade, and last but not least, GAARA!

Konoha's Dance Marathon
By Shanghai Honey

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Sitting in a cafe, Naruto and the gang sat around a table and discussed the upcoming event happening in Konoha.

"Hey, did you hear?"

"You mean when Chouji's pants tore apart while bending down? Yeah, I heard it."

A disturbed look obviously took place on Ino's face the instant the words 'tore', 'pants' and 'Chouji' stuck to her mind. "No, I meant the dance marathon."

Sakura sighed recklessly and shrugged. "Tsunade does this every year. Why are you so excited?"

"Of all people-" Neji began, but was cut off by Sakura's quick tongue.

"I'm not competing against you, Neji." Sakura's fist shook with rage,

Sasuke's puzzled look caught everyone's attention. "Since when did Konoha have a dance marathon?"

The guys casted a dirty look towards the raven headed man with full consideration. "Ever since Tsunade's been named Hokage-" Sakura was rudely interrupted.

"And ever since you betrayed us and left for Orochimaru-" Kiba, in return, was rudely interrupted.

"We've had a dance marathon every year to raise money for charity or-"

"Tsunade's bills." everyone rolled their eyes.

They all watched as Sakura threw Neji dirty looks.

"I still don't get the arguement between you two." he said looking back and forth between Sakura's sexy pout and Neji's arrogant grin.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sakura told him, gritting her shiny, white pearls.

Neji gladly spoke up. "Every year, the last person standing at the twenty-four hour dance marathon wins and recieves a trophy at the end. And every year, Sakura and I compete for the gold."

"Yeah, guess who wins EVERY year." said Tenten.

Sasuke frowned with bordom. "Obviously, I know the answer to that one."

"Every year." Sakura's eyes burned with fury.

"So what? It's just a trophy. There's nothing special about it." said Sasuke.

"True, but this year, the Hokage's giving out a mystery surprise." Kiba anounced.

Sakura's ears perked up.

"For all we know, it could be a piece of candy."

Neji snorted. "Yeah, right."

Sakura's eyes burned with passion.

Changing the subject for everyone's safety, Naruto showed up in time with a box full of T-shirts. "Hey, guys!" he held a box securely in his arms. "I'm selling T-shirts."

Everyone around the table groaned.

"Please tell me you're not selling your laundry again, Naruto." Sakura's mere purpose in life was to make a run for it.

Naruto shook his head frantically. "Nope. I'm printing out daily t-shirts with topical headlines of something I witnessed around town." he said with a little ounce of pride.

"Really, like what?" Tenten asked with curiousity.

Naruto grinned and held up a t-shirt as an example.

Everyone stared at it blankly.

"Hmm...'Gai picked his nose!'...interesting." said Sakura. "You actually witnessed that?"

Naruto nodded his head sluggishly. "In the name of youth."

That boy never ceased to amuse the crowd.

-----

"That's right! Type out 'Naruto's a stinkin' Liar' in big bold letters!"

"I'm pretending to type as we speak." Neji yawned.

Hot tears literally fell out of Gai's eyes. "What he did was unexceptable and wrong! He shall be punished and you, my youthfull companion, will help me!" he said. "Now type it out!

Gai patted the Hyuuga prodigy firmly on his cold shoulder. "You know. You didn't have to do this for me, I could've done this by myself-"

"What are you talking about? Black mailing me into doing this and pretending you don't need me now isn't working." Neji growled.

Gai shrugged, holding a picture of Neji sucking his thumb.

"I would've asked Lee, but come on? The kid doesn't even know how to use a calculator."

Neji exhaled with pure frustration.

-----

"He's SO cute!" girls crowded around the new born baby and took a good look of those chubby, adorable cheeks.

Tenten rolled her eyes.

"I don't know. He looks a little odd." she said.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"You're just sour because you're not the only child anymore." said Sakura. "Hewo wittle baby." her voice changed dramatically into baby talk. "Aunt Sakuwa is here to pway. Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!"

Little drops of tears swelled up in the baby's eye.

"Sakura, you're scaring him." Ino shoved her away. "Hi, there. Hi, there." she played with his toes. "Do you want your bowtle? Do you want your bowtle?"

Soon enough, the baby cried a river.

"He's not indicating that he wants a bottle." said Shikamaru.

"Sour puss." Ino teased. "By the way, the little guy said his first word!"

Sakura gasped. "Who? Shikamaru?"

"You're a comedian, Sakura. Seriously, you're THAT funny." he crossed his arms and went into snoozeland.

"S-So what was his first word?" Hinata asked sencerely.

"O-cha-boo-boo!" Ino squealed.

"Aw...," the girls sighed.

"Oh, suck it up." Tenten muttered. "Please, lets change the subject." she begged.

"All right." Ino spoke. "Anyone found a dance partner yet?"

Hinata blushed. "I-I think I found mine."

Everyone looked at her.

"Don't tell me its-"

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata's blush reddened, forcing herself to stay on ground.

"NO!" Sakura gasped. "You actually asked him?"

Hinata shook her head solomnly. "Not exactly. He asked me."

"Well, what happened?"

Hinata told her story:

-

"Hey, Hinata!" Naruto ran his way up to meet with Hinata.

"N-Naruto!" Hinata nearly fainted.

"Wanna go to the dance marathon with me?"

"Y-Yes!" she answered a little too quickly...

and fainted.

-

Hinata sighed.

"And that's what happened." They all looked at her oddly. "What about you, Ino?"

Ino's facially expressions softened. "Well, it all started when all the guys in town, including Sasuke, lined up to ask me to the dance-"

"Real story, Ino." Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

-

Shikamaru, with his manly pout and hunky posture, snorted.

"I wouldn't go to the dance with you even if you begged."

"YOU BETTER!" Ino waved a fist in the air.

"Not even if you begged."

"YOU BETTER!"

"I don't even know how long I'll be able to stand. I'm not a good dancer."

"Does it look like I care!"

"I don't have an outfit."

"Wear your pajamas if you have to!"

"I don't even like town events."

"SO WHAT!"

"But on the other hand, I won't have to babysit that troublesome Konohamaru."

"Make your decision quick!"

"Fine, I'll go."

"HURRY and make your desicion!"

"I said I'll go."

"Say yes or no. I DON'T CARE!"

"Dammit, woman. I said I'll go!"

-

Ino sighed and batted her eyelashes.

"Romantic."

Weird looks were plastered on everyone's faces. "Yeah, sure." they muttered.

"Tenten, we already know Neji's your dance partner. You're unbeatable-"

"Except this year!" Sakura shouted for the whole world to hear.

"I thought you said you weren't competing."

"Obviously, I changed my mind."

"Well, then...who are you going with?"

Sakura's face twisted into an horrific grin.

-

After everyone left the cafe, it was only Sakura, Sasuke, and Sakura's ambition.

"Hey, what do you think of that guy!" Sakura asked, pointing at some stranger walking pass the cafe.

Sasuke graoned. "What do I care?"

"Help me out, Sasuke. I have to find a partner who will be fitting to my every need. Perfectly detailed, tall, tons of stamina, nice strong arms and-HOW TALL IS THAT GUY!" she pointed at another guy walking by.

Sasuke turned his head. "MRS. Nara is 6'5"."

"Everyone hates me." she sighed.

As Sakura continued to do some partner looking, Sasuke became tired and annoyed by her! Had she once ever thought of HIM as her dance partner?

"Here's a crazy idea." he gulped. "Why don't you go with me?"

Sakura's eyebrow quirked. "I didn't know I had a choice."

"A choice?"

"Yeah. If I asked, I assumed you'd just say 'no' or 'no way'."

"You don't know how wrong you are." Sasuke muttered, for his ears only. "I'd probably say yes"

Sakura smirked. "Probably?"

"Probably."

"So If I asked right now-"

"I'd say 'I'll pick you up at five'"

-

"And that is what happened."

Ino's mouth dropped wide open.

"I don't believe it." she gasped. "Sasuke would never-"

"He did."

"That's impossible! I asked him out millions of times and he still said no!" Ino pouted.

At that glorious moment, Sakura felt a breeze of pride coming her way. It felt great.

-

The Konoha dancers stepped proudly onto the dance floor of the gymnasium and held their partner's hand. The feeling was insolent and the trophy was freaking huge!

Everyone turned to look at the trophy.

"Hey, where's freakin' huge trophy!" some guy in the crowd yelled.

"Yeah!" they all complained.

Tsunade tapped on the microphone and spoke. "Uh, sorry folks. There is no trophy." everyone one 'booed' her. "I couldn't afford one, okay!" she screeched. "Instead, we have a mystery prize! And it's gonna be awesome!"

Tsunade turned to look at her right hand girl, Shizune. And Shizune shook her head with shame. Tsunade cleared her throat and began her opening.

"Oh, great." Sakura sighed.

"What?" Sasuke had to ask.

"Its Tsunade's opening. This happens every year. We hear her talk for about three thousand hours before the marathon starts-"

"Three hours?" Kiba groaned. "More like FIVE thousand!" he threw his paws in the air.

Neji cringed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Uh." Kiba shrugged.

"You don't even have a partner." Tenten looked at him pathetically.

"Shut up, okay! Just shut up!" he ran away.

Sasuke sighed and continued to watch Tsunade lecture for HOURS.

And after about one hour...

"Geez," Shikamaru yawned. "How long do you think this will last?"

Shino said, "I'd say three hours more."

"In the battle of Iwagakure, lives were taken from us. Lives of our family, friends and more." said Tsunade as everyone else mouthed out what she was saying. It was the same every year, and everyone groaned. "My leg was nearly torn off by a third class shinobi...," she twitched.

Everyone pressed their hands to their ears, knowing what was coming next.

"DID YOU HEAR ME!" she screeched. "A THIRD CLASS SHINOBI! I MEAN, I WAS A FREAKIN' SANNIN!"

Sasuke shook his head. "Tsunade suffered so much."

Everyone threw him an odd look along with a highly concerned one.

"And now we all have to suffer along with her."

That sounds about right.

-

Just when the dance marathon was about to start, Naruto made the biggest entry ever in Konoha history!

Walking into the gym with Hinata by his side, he smirked with two huge fangs coming out of his mouth. He wore a black cape, slick grease on his blond hair, and his skin was as pale as ever.

"Who let Dracula in?" Sasuke muttered.

Naruto noticed the stares he was recieving. "What? Do I look that awesome?"

"What the hell are you wearing?" Sakura gasped, with both shock and humility.

"You told me to wear something comfortable!" he panicked, realizing people were staring at him because he looked weird.

"You feel comfortable in a halloween costume?" she asked.

Naruto watched people continue to stare at him oddly.

"Not at this moment."

-

Every contestant in Konoha danced to the rhythm of the music. Lights were everywhere and the dance floor was already half empty. It was hour six, and people were as energetic as ever.

Naruto swept the dance floor, and busted a move! Shikamaru fell asleep on Ino's shoulder, which wasn't as bad as she thought. Shino, Kiba, Chouji and basically all the others with no date, watched pathetically on the bleachers wishing they had a date. Sasuke and Sakura were still in motion, and Neji wouldn't stop flipping Tenten.

"Would you relax, Neji. This is a dance marathon, not a flipping contest!" Sakura shouted, dancing along with Sasuke.

"Says the loser." Neji waltz away, flipping Tenten along.

Sakura growled and snapped her head forwards.

"Flip me." she demanded.

Sasuke cringed. "What?"

"Flip me!"

"No." at this point, he wanted to get away from her.

"FLIP ME!"

"No!"

"Fine." Sakura sighed with defeat. "I'll flip you!" she grabbed a hold of Sasuke.

"Let it go!" Sasuke tried running away from her.

-

The ten minute break started and the contestants took either a snack break or a coffee break to stimulate themselves.

"Hi, Kiba." Hinata smiled sweetly towards her favorite comrad.

"Hey, Hina." Kiba smirked. Once he saw Naruto coming near, his smirk switched to a furious growl.

Naruto grinned. "Hey, dog man." he waved.

"So, Hinata...," Kiba ignored the blond boy. "Do you want to go out for dinner after the marathon? I know this great sushi restaurant." he smiled.

Hinata squinted. "I'm not too much of a sushi fan." she silently shook her head.

"Oh, well how about Italian?" Naruto shook his head, watching Kiba and his pathetic attempt to ask Hinata out. "You can never go wrong with Italian food. I mean, come on? Tell me, who doesn't like Italian?" he laughed.

"Me." Sakura interrupted.

"And me." Naruto chirped in.

"Good to know." Kiba muttered and quickly changed to subject. "So, I hear there's a sewing festival coming soon-"

Naruto literally spit out his drink.

Shino stared in disgust.

"S-Sewing festival?" he held in a laugh.

"Hinata happens to like that." Kiba growled.

Naruto crossed his arms. "Suck up." he mumbled under his breath.

"Boys, come on. This is a dance marathon. There's no time for jealous bickering. Now shut up and lets bust a move!" Sasuke cringed at Sakura's enthusiasm.

"Except theres one problem. Kiba doesn't have a date so its really not possible for him to-"

"Will you stop saying the word 'date'!" Kiba pressed his hands against his ears. Sasuke shrugged.

"Let's move. The dance is about to-" Sakura pulled Sasuke along with her, but crashed into Shino. "Oh! Wow, Shino. I didn't know you were there." she panicked.

Shino's face was completely blank. "If I had a penny for everytime I heard that one-"

"You'd probably be able to afford a date." said Sasuke.

"Sasuke." Sakura nudged him powerfully against his shoulder. He would've cried from the pain, but he knew it wouldn't be manly. Especially in front of Sakura.

-

It was hour sixteen. More than half the people who were in the gym, were gone. Naruto continued to dance around like a crazy man, while Hinata suffered and tried to keep up. Sasuke and Sakura were barely keeping up. Neji and Tenten were just plain showing off. Shikamaru and Ino left, who honestly knows when? And Tsunade was as drunk as ever.

Neji and Tenten continued to flip, ticking Sakura off, and annoying Sasuke to death.

"Will you two quit it!"

"Make me." Neji smirked.

And once again, they waltz away.

"Why won't you flip me?" Sakura whimpered, and leaned on Sasuke's shoulder.

"I don't do flips. It's embarassing and a little gay." he mumbled.

-

Another break occured and everyone rushed like wild animals to the snack bar.

Kiba pranced around the bar and picked up a couple of cheese balls. "Mmm."

"Snacks are for dancers only." Naruto flicked his cheese ball aside.

Kiba casted an irritated look. "I'm dancing on the inside." he said, muttering.

"Leave him alone, Naruto. He doesn't have a date." said Tenten.

"Why don't you all just stick a knife through my head!" Kiba went into a craze.

Naruto shook his head. "No, a knife won't do."

"Yes, you'll need a chainsaw for something as thick as that-" Neji was interrupted by Tenten's voice.

"Will you two quit it! HE DOESN'T HAVE A DATE!" shouted Tenten.

"Tell the whole world, why don't ya!" Kiba stomped out of the room.

-

Chouji looked around the gym. It was practically empty. The one's who were too tired to dance or just gave up, sat on the bleachers with the pathetic ones who couldn't get dates.

The only ones standing was Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, Sakura, Neji and Tenten. Then he looked to his side.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Gaara sat in solitude. "I had nothing better to do." he muttered.

Chouji quirked an eyebrow. "You have nothing better to do than to sit around in a gymnasium all day, staring at a dance marathon?"

"I don't know. Do YOU have nothing better to do than sit around in a gymnasium all day, staring at a dance marathon?" was his quick come back.

"...,"

"Could it be that you don't even have a date-"

"I had a date, okay." Chouji huffed. "She just...," he stalled. "couldn't make it."

Gaara casted a one second glance towards him. "Its pretty pathetic that your imaginary girlfriend stood you up-"

Chouji just about had enough of this verbal abuse. "You don't even live here, let alone care about this place. Why are you here?"

Gaara shrugged. "Like I said, I had nothing better to do than to sit around in a gymnasium all day, staring at a dance marathon."

Chouji decided it'll be easier just to ignore him.

-

Sakura tapped her foot against the dance floor. "If he doesn't get here in two mintues, we're out of the marathon." she panicked.

Turns out, Sakura, Neji, and their dates were the only ones left on the dance floor. Naruto was food poisoned an hour ago, by who knows who? We could only guess.

Sitting in the middle of the bleachers, Kiba laughed evily.

Every year...

"If he doesn't make it in a minute, you loose the mystery prize." Neji would've laughed then and there.

Sakura smirked. "Sasuke will make it. I have no idea where he is, but he won't let me down."

One minute later:

"I'll kill him!" Sakura went down on her knees and cried out for the whole world to hear her.

Neji and Tenten walked up the stage where Tsunade held a box draped in a little black cloth. "The winners, Neji and Tenten!" she held their hands up.

Everyone cheered.

Sasuke ran into the gym and panted. "Am I late?"

"You bet you are!" Sakura ringed his neck.

"And the prize!" Tsunade demanded a drum roll. "Is...,"

Neji and Tenten's eyes blazed a passionate fire.

And Tsunade lifted the black cloth.

"Er...a piece of...candy...," she laughed nervously.

The whole gym full of angry people gaped at her.

"I knew it." said Sasuke, not surprised at all.

"Give me a break! Konoha is currently low on budget and I had to pay my sake bills!" she said in defense.

Everyone stood on their feet, ready to kill Tsunade.

-

"I HAD TO PAY MY BILLS!" she ran as everyone in Konoha chased her through the streets. Especially Neji and Tenten.

Sakura stood there, with the look of shock. "I can't believe it." she whispered.

"Yeah." Sasuke shrugged. "Sorry you didn't win, I know you wanted this-"

"No, I'm glad I didn't win." retorted Sakura. "But where were you?" she asked.

Sasuke thought about it with much consideration. "I was using the bathroom."

"For thirty minutes?"

"Hey, I had food poisoning too." he rubbed his stomach. "Except I didn't wuss out and drop out of the compitition." he thought about Naruto.

Sakura sighed. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"Yeah." Sasuke felt himself wanting to throw up.

The pink haired lady walked up to the green faced boy. "Come on." she held onto his shoulder. "I'll take care of you."

Sasuke smiled for the first time. "Is it ok if we can kill Tsunade afterwards?" he asked.

"Of course." Sakura's eyes burned with fury.

The End