As soon as the three got back to base, Tucker spent a stupid amount of time looking for the command hotline number. No one ever kept track of that thing as they rarely ever called command. Kaede never even heard the people at command, but when she asked about it, Church insisted the guy who worked there was annoying, so she left it at that. However, she grabbed her damaged helmet to hear the conversation. Luckily, the radio function on it still worked.
"Come in blue command! This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. do you read me." Tucker says on the radio. Caboose had just finished cleaning his armour so he was in his blueish-green colour, or something like that. She would have to ask what specific colour it was.
"This is Blue command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha." A slightly annoying voice says.
"Hello! command! We need help!" Tucker exclaims.
"Rodger that, Blood Gulch, what is your request." Blue command asks.
"I don't know the technical military term is for it, but uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!" Tucker exclaims. A long silence follows before blue command breaks it.
"Dude, how long have you guys been down there?" After that, Kaede just lost it. She was on the ground laughing too hard to follow the rest of the conversation. By the time her laughter died down, the conversation was over.
"Was that REALLY that funny?" Tucker asks.
"With you... yes." Kaede answers.
"Wait, you aren't talking about that incident three months ago." Tucker asks.
Flashback
Walking back from Sarges birthday party, Kaede couldn't be more glad to leave. The man had made everyone go through some insane obstacle course Lopez put together. Key word, EVERYONE.
Even though she wasn't apart of the red army, Kaede was still forced to run the course which kicked her ass, even with her invisible arms. She was better off then Grif and Simmons, who didn't make it too far. Sarge made it a point to point that out to the two red army soldiers just before Kaede was allowed to leave.
'Note to self, never visit red base on this day next year.' Kaede thinks to herself as she walks towards blue base. As she approaches she begins to hear some strange sounds coming from Tuckers rock.
Never being near it, she decided to investigate. Tucker didn't need to know. She'll be in and out before long. As she looked behind the spray painted rock, she was greeted with Tucker laying on his side watching something on a laptop, however that wasn't all. His crotch piece was removed, exposing his dick to the world. Beside him lay a box of tissues and vaseline.
"What the fuck!" Kaede can't help but cry out.
"Ahhhh! What the fuck!" Tucker responds, covering his cock. "I told you NOT to come over here!" He yells at her as she runs back to blue base, covering her eyes.
"Good! Because I won't be coming back!" She yelled back. She eventually reaches the base to which she rushes into the bathroom, washing down her eyes as best she could. "This day is just terrible." She mutters to herself.
Present
"I hope you've learned your lesson with that." Tucker says.
"I did." Kaede informs. "Anyway, what did I miss?"
"Command is sending a Freelancer." Tucker informs.
"Whats a freelancer?" Caboose and Kaede ask at the same time.
"Freelancers are independent, they're not red or blue. They're just guns for hire, who'll fight for whoever has the most money." Tucker explains.
"So, basically a mercenary then?" Kaede asks.
"Exactly." Tucker says.
"Tucker. Tuckerrrrrrrrrrr." A familiar voice says, though it sounds far away. a transparent figure appears.
"Who the hell are you?!" Tucker exclaims.
"I am the ghost of Church... and I've come back with a warning..." The ghost of Church responds.
"You're not Church. Church is blue. You're white." Caboose states.
"But aren't ghosts supposed to be white?" Kaede questions. "And it does SOUND like Church's voice."
"She's right, rookie! Haven't you seen a ghost before!" Church yells. "Now I gotta start all over again."
"Please don't." Kaede begs.
"Yeah. Is that necessary?" Tucker adds.
"Just give us the warning!" Kaede exclaims.
"Fine, sheesh. And here I thought you were sad about me dying." Church relents.
"You're not Church. Church is dead. Ghost are just things that only show up in movies." Kaede says.
"Then, what are we talking too now?" Caboose asks.
"A hallucination obviously. It really hot today." Kaede states.
"How would you know that?" Church asks.
Flashback
"Kaede, could you come here?" Simmons asks.
"Yeah? What is it?" Kaede asks. Simmons then pulls Kaede into the barracks.
"You see it don't you?" He says pointing in the empty corner of the room. "Grif has merged with Lopez!"
"What!?" Kaede exclaims.
"It must have been something in the beer Grif bought! And Lopez must have had some too! There must have been something in it that caused some sort of symbiosis!" Simmons exclaims.
"Simmons, theres nothing there." Kaede states.
"Nonsense! How could you miss it!" Simmons exclaims. "I have to study this! Good thing we ran out of water so Grif and Lopez would drink the stuff."
"Yes. The lack of water is the cause of this... just not in the way you're thinking." Kaede says.
Present
"I've seen it before." Kaede states.
"Whatever, point is I'm here to warn you guys about Tex." Church affirms.
"Wait, who's Tex?" Kaede asks.
"Thats the freelancer they're sending." Tucker states. "How do you know them?"
"Story for another time, I'm just here to give the warning." Church states. "Okay, here's the deal..."
"Is this the warning?" Caboose asks.
"Obviously, dumbass. Now leg me finish or I'll haunt your sorry ass when this is over." Church explains. Church then talks about the last place he was stationed at, an ice planet called Sidewinder. Apparently this Tex killed all the blues there save for Church. "Bottom line is; these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst."
"Why not kill you? Did you hide or get away?" Kaede asks.
"I didn't do any of that. To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm not dead. Could've killed me at any point. But maybe its because Tex and I have run into each other once before."
"Where?" Tucker asks.
"You uh, remember that girl I told you about back home?" Church asks. "Well, lets just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married. Guys, I'm fading fast and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning: don't let Tex get involved here."
"Okay." Tucker says.
"Sounds easy enough." Kaede adds.
"I mean it guys. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it." Church says before fading out.
"So Church and Tex were after the same girl." Tucker states.
"Told you his girlfriend was a slut." Caboose states.
"Yeah, but you didn't know that at the time." Kaede states. "So, doesn't count. Anyone else wanna get a drink of water to be sure we're not hallucinating?"
"I would like that." Caboose states.
"Whatever." Tucker agrees.
"Alright. Whats the situation here?" A deep voice asks. The group turn to see a soldier in black armour has arrived.
"Thats it. I'm drinking a whole gallon." Kaede says before walking into the base.
"Fuck, don't! We don't wanna waste all the water like the reds did!" Tucker yells back. Of coarse, she wasn't gonna waste all the water. She just planned on getting hydrated enough to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. 'Maybe I should wear my hat less often.' Kaede thinks as she drinks her water. It certainly didn't help with the heat and everyone on blue team knew she had horns anyway. Now that she thought of it, no one on red team knew she had horns. It would be best to tell them at somepoint.
Finishing her cup, Kaede took her hat off, put it safely in her area in the barracks. Walking outside, if sounded like the three had moved to the top of the base. Finding the ramp, she walks up in time to see the black soldier (Iguess he is real then) jump off the base and run away.
"Where are you going?" Tucker cries out.
"Red base, kill everybody, get the flag back." He answers in his deep voice before continuing along.
"Who was that?" Kaede answers.
"That was Tex." Tucker answers. She looks over Caboose to find him shaking in between a bunch of bullet holes.
"What happened here?" She asks.
"His target practice." Tucker answers again.
"What an asshole." She growls. "The sooner he's gone, the better."
"Caboose... are you okay?" Kaede calls over to him.
"I think... I would... like that glass of water now." Caboose stutters.
"I'll go get it for you." Kaede says, going down and bringing him up a glass of water.
"Thank you. Here, you can have this. Its to thank you." Caboose says pulling another sniper rifle out of know where and giving to Kaede.
"Fucking hell!" Tucker swears.
"Where do you keep getting these!" Kaede exclaims as she accepts the sniper rifle. Caboose doesn't answer as he is still drinking his water. "Whatever." Kaede looks through the scope to see what is happening over at red base. 'Please be safe guys.' she thinks as she watches.
"Whats going on?" Tucker whines.
"He's really kicking their asses." Kaede comments. She saw Grif panicking while Simmons was attending to a red guy on the floor, who was hopefully okay.
"Can... um I have a turn with the sniper rifle?" Tucker asks.
"Not now, I'm using it." Kaede brushes off.
"God, damnit." Tucker mutters to himself. "Caboose, you got another sniper rifle somewhere I can have?"
"No... don't think so." Caboose mutters.
"Come on!" Tucker complains.
"Why are you so desperate for one of these things anyway?" Kaede asks.
"Cause they're bad ass. Everyone knows that." Tucker replies.
"Caboose, can I keep this?" Kaede quickly asks.
"Yes! It can be your birthday present... when is your birthday?" Caboose responds.
"Yeah, now that I think about it, you've never told us your birthday." Tucker states. "I mean we celebrate my birthday every year, Church insists we don't have to celebrate his. How come you've never told us yours?"
"Its... because I don't know when my birthday is." Kaede says sadly.
"No! Don't be sad Kaede. Everyone deserves a birthday!" Caboose exclaims. "Yours can be today!"
"Actually, why not have it on the day we adopted you? It would make more sense." Tucker suggests.
"Sure. It will be then." Kaede smiles. "Thanks, guys."
"Blue team flag returned."
"What the? Who said that?" Tucker questions.
"Sorry, it was me." Ghost Church says after clearing his throat. "I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back by the way."
"He really wasn't a hallucination." Kaede says, wide eyed.
"Yeah... I'm not." Church deadpans. "How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?"
"Wh, what? Oh, th, that flag?l We've always had that." Tucker stutters.
"Tucker, who do you think you're trying to fool?" Church asks. "Hey wait a second? Where's Tex?"
"I'm not really sure, he said he was gonna go to the store, something about uh, elbow grease." Tucker lies.
"I'm sure I also heard him mention headlight fluid." Kaede joins in. "Who knows when he'll be back, you know how the shops can be like this time of day."
"Enough!" Church interrupts. "This is just typical for you Tucker. What was the one thing I told you guys last time I appeared?"
"That Sidewinder is cold?" Caboose guesses.
"The OTHER thing I told you."
"Not to let him get involved." Tucker sighs.
"Right. And what did you do?"
"We let him get involved." Tucker continues.
"And not just a little involved, how involved?"
"Go in and do everything level involved." Kaede answers.
"He could be captured... or dead... captured or dead." Caboose theorizes. "Or captured AND dead!"
"Oh, well thats just perfect!" Church exclaims.
"I don't see the problem here." Kaede states. "From what little I've seen of him, he seems to be a real bully."
"Yeah! Don't you hate that guy for stealing your girlfriend?" Tucker asks.
"I never hated Tex, I just said she was the reason why we never got married." Church states.
"She?" Caboose questions. A moment of awkward silence passes over the group.
"Finally! I'm not the only girl in the canyon!" Kaede cries out.