Red vs. Blue: Beginnings

Chapter 7: My Kingdom for a Sniper Rifle

Blue Base

"Friendship is the greatest joy, because…whoa, didn't know that. Yo Church, you following this dude?"

"Shut up Vic," grimaced Church. The fact that Vic continued reading from the self help suggested that either Vic hadn't heard him or had simply ignored him. Church was willing to bet money on the latter.

"…friends make life more bearable, cause, you know, they're fellow dudes and dudettes-…"

Church continued heading outside. The sooner the Reds were eliminated the sooner he'd get out of this damn canyon and the sooner this war would be over. To ignore the infuriating communications officer he tried thinking of happy things, ranging from his times with Tex to thinking about what he was going to do to Tucker once he found him.

Church exited the base and stepped out into the sun, letting the breeze wash over him, experiencing the-

"…and dude, I'm tellin ya, this book knows swell stuff, I mean, about buds, fellow hommies…"

Church was able to ignore Vic because at that very moment, he saw the most beautiful sight of his life-Tucker was sitting down on the grass surrounded by wrappers. A blanket was nearby along with a hamper. "Finally, some luck," thought Church. He raised the sniper rifle and took careful aim.

"…friends stick out for each other…err, think I'll skip that bit, getting kinda corny. But yeah anyway, friends can help each other, stick up for each other…whoa, now that's interesting."

Church sighed. Vic may have been the most unmelodramatic person ever, but he was making him feel slightly guilty about his plan to shoot Tucker with the sniper rifle and then lob a few pistol bullets into him. "Oh well," he thought as he headed over. "Maybe I can have fun beating him to death."

Red Base

Simmons finished patching the call to Red Command. The sniper rifle had been ordered out of necessity. The Oreos had been ignored to spite Griff. And instead of a self help book, he'd ordered a much better piece of literature-'Fathers-book 2 of the Happy Family Series.'

Simmons walked over to the lounge room and immediately felt sickened by the sight that greeted him-biscuit wrappers were everywhere. Griff lay on the couch watching…well, suffice to say that it made Simmons's stomach turn. He faced in the opposite direction. "Err, Griff?" he asked.

"What is it kisass? Can't you see I'm watching TV?"

"Um, no, sorry," responded Simmons weakly. He then remembered that he was the one in charge here, considering that Sarge was elsewhere. Griff was the one meant to be adjusting to him, not the other way around. Simmons felt his anger rising-a rare occasion.

"Griff, get the hell off that seat right now! Clean up those wrappers while you're at it!" Move it damit!"

"Make me kisass."

Simmons sighed and walked over to the TV, doing his best to ignore what was being displayed on it. He turned it off. "Hey, I was watching that," protested Griff.

"I know, and you should be very ashamed of yourself for it."

"Simmons, I know that Sarge is like a father to you, but don't think that I'm going to become his grandson or something."

"Yeah, you'd fulfill the role of the illegitimate bastard child,"replied Simmons smugly. "Now get up on the roof, the cunning blues may try attacking."

Griff sighed and managed to get himself off the couch, which showed his indentation. "Arsesucking cocktard," he murmured as he headed out of the room. Simmons got down on the floor and started picking up the wrappers while giving glances towards the TV, which he'd set to the Discovery Channel. Sarge would be so pleased with him for clearing up Griff's mess and would berate Griff because of it. What more could someone ask for?

Blue Team

Tucker felt sick. Really sick. And not the kind of sick where one can say "oh I don't feel so well so I'm just going to skip work." He was the type of sick where his stomach was in pain, he wanted to lie down and had the inclination to throw up all over the place. What really annoyed him was that it was the amount of food that made him feel this way, rather than any excessive intercourse.

"…friends look out for each other, care for each other…man, you're welcome to it dude."

"What the fuck?" thought Tucker. He turned around to find the source of the noise, only to see Church walking over to him. "What the hell?" he wondered. "Since when has that prick talked about anything rather than himself?"

Tucker could hear that Church was murmuring under his breath. Tucker couldn't hear exactly what he was saying but he could tell that he was uttering numerous profanities, most of which seemed directed at his fellow private. Tucker gulped, not only because Church looked ready to kill but because if he hadn't, the motion would have been reversed with 'stuff' accompanying it. Recovering from that motion, Tucker looked up to see the more unpleasant motion of a sniper rifle being brought down against his face.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?" he yelled in pain.

"Look around you Tucker, I think that's obvious," snarled Church. Tucker did look around the canyon. "Um, you're hitting me for all the grass and dirt?"

"No you berk, I'm hitting you for…ugh, just hold on a sec."

Church turned around, much to Tucker's puzzlement. He did get an idea as to what it was about though when Church started shouting away;

"Vic, I'm with one of my so called friends, so for god's sake would you just shut the fuck up?"

"No can do dude, direct orders from Captain Flowers which Blue Command fully supports."

"That explains a lot," murmured Church. He turned back to face Tucker who's perplexed look was hidden behind his visor, yet the effect was still made.

"Now then where were we?" asked Church. "Oh yeah, I remember." With that, he hit Tucker with the sniper rifle. Again.

"Ow, that hurts, stop it!" exclaimed Tucker.

"Unless you have some kind of method of returning all the food you stole, I'm not that inclined to," replied Church.

"Huh? You mean all this?" asked Tucker glancing around at all the wrappers. "That wasn't my fault man, Flowers insisted on having a picnic."

Despite the idiocy of such an excuse, Church knew Flowers well enough (unfortunately) to know that such a thing wasn't that surprising. "Hmm, well, I guess I can believe that," Church replied. "Anyway, we've got work to do."

"Work?" moaned Tucker. "Not work, work implies effort."

"Yeah, and it's about time that someone put effort into this damn war," snapped Church. Tucker blinked a few times. "Since when did you become so patriotic?"

"I'm not," replied Church. "It's just that the more effort we put into this war, the sooner it ends, the sooner I can get out of this canyon and the sooner I can get away from you."

"The feeling's mutual," muttered Tucker.

"Good, then you'll help me."

"No, the mutual feeling only applied to the last bit."

Church sighed but to Tucker it sounded more like a growl. He raised his sniper rifle. "Tucker, you're going to help me one way or another."

Despite the intimidating situation Tucker tried to put on a brave act. "You don't scare me Church, you can't hit anything with that rifle."

"I'm less than two feet away from you Tucker. I kinda like my chances. Get up now or you'll never get up again!"

Tucker didn't put angsty homicide past Church so he got up sighing. "Fine, I'll come. But I just want you to know that you're an absolute prick and no-one likes you."

"With any luck that's true," replied Church. "Now move." Trying to ignore his churning stomach he marched onwards with Church behind him.

"…friends often find that traveling together is a great way of strengthing the bond between them," Vic continued. "Err, let's see…no, not reading that…ugh, man dude, I hope you're following this."

"Oh yeah, I am," replied Church softly. "Especially when one friend is dominating the other."

Church could hear the sound of pages turning. "Ok. I think we can leave it there homie," said Vic eventually. "I hope that this chapter has proven to be most instructive to you, it's our job at Blue Command to ensure our soldiers are at their best and brightest."

"With people like you employed that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon," thought Church. "Err yeah, very instructive," he said to Vic hastily. "Now sign off and don't call back."

"Oh sorry dude, no can do, I've got to start chapter two. Hey I make a pretty good rapper."

Church stopped walking and started trembling with rage. Tucker turned with slight concern, but it was more out of fear at what Church would do to him if he got too pissed off. "Err, Church you ok?"

Church simply walked on ahead. Only his footsteps could be heard. Suddenly-

"Ahh! God damit!"

Red Base

Simmons was happy. Very happy. He'd finished clearing up all the wrappers that Griff had left lying around. Sarge would return, he'd reap praise and Griff would, with any luck, be submitted to situations that humiliated him more than usual. Deciding that he wanted some fresh air (at least as fresh as his respirators could provide, soldiers weren't meant to take off their helmets except when doing activities such as sleeping, showering, eating, etc.) he headed up to the roof of Red Base. Griff was already there, leaning against one of the pillars. Simmons sighed. "If you're not being lazy inside the base you're being lazy on top of the base. What's next, outside the base? Around the base?"

"Can it kisass," replied Griff weakly.

Simmons noticed that Griff seemed to have trouble breathing, well, more than usual. "Hey Griff, you ok?" he asked.

"Not really, I feel like crap," Griff groaned.

"Gee, I wonder what caused that?" asked Simmons sarcastically.

"Hanging around with you." Griff looked like he was going to say more but he made a gulping noise. He started taking off his helmet. Simmons felt the need to give Griff privacy and turned the other way. "Err, Simmons?" asked Griff. Simmons turned to face him but got a whole bucket load of vomit right over his visor. "Ah, feel much better now," he grinned, putting his helmet back on. Simmons started to cuss but he was drowned out by a humming sound. A pelican was touching down right near the base.

Leaving Simmons to try and clean himself up, Griff headed down. The pelican had a FedEx marking on it, indicating that his sniper rifle had arrived. "Crap," Griff thought. "That means I have to start doing stuff with it." The ramp descended and a soldier in red amour came down, followed by another one clad in tan amour. The tan one shifted his feet slightly as if uneasy. The red one looked down at Griff. "Hello dirt bag," he boomed. Griff's heart skipped a beat. Sarge was already back.

Footsteps could be heard and Griff saw Simmons approaching, with most of the vomit cleared off his visor. "And how are you Simmons?" asked Sarge.

"Fine sir, although if it wasn't for Griff things would be much better." Griff gulped, this time in fear.

Blue Team

"Church, can I use the sniper rifle?" asked Tucker.

"No," came the simple response.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like you."

Tucker sighed as Church continued to survey the Red Base from the cliff that they were on. "See anything?" asked Tucker.

"Yeah," said Church. "There's four guys down there along with a Pelican. The tan one could be a new recruit, although maybe he's just the pilot. Hmm, looks like they're giving the orange one a hard time."

"Orange? I thought he was yellow."

"Trust me Tucker he's orange. But yeah, looks like they're pointing their guns at him…"

Red Base

"Fine," sighed Griff. He turned from facing Sarge's shotgun to facing Simmons's pistol. "Simmons, I apologies for vomiting on you, for being messy and for being a lazy dirt bag."

"Louder!" shouted his fellow private. Griff repeated.

"Now on your hands and knees," snarled Sarge. Muttering, Griff obliged. "Now kiss my ass," continued Sarge.

Griff stood up. "There's no way I'm doing that."

"Don't worry sir I can fill in," piped up Simmons.

"Pipe down Simmons, the aim of this is to make Griff miserable."

"Don't you find this disturbing?" Griff asked the tan soldier. Well, at least that's what he would have technically done if the soldier hadn't walked away and entered the pelican to retrieve the deliveries. "Asshole." Griff muttered.

Blue Team

"Shut up Vic," muttered Tucker as Vic continued to recite from the book. He turned his attention to surveying the Red Team. "So what's happening?" asked Tucker.

"Shut up Tucker, let me concentrate," snapped Church. "And you can shut up too Vic!"

"Make me dude, or shake me."

Church had no idea what that meant and thought it best not to inquire. He looked down the rifle's scope. "Ok, the red one and the maroon one are hitting the orange one, while the tan one is bringing something out of the drop ship. Looks like a book."

"Boor-ring," moaned Tucker.

Church ignored him. "The tan one is bringing something else out, looks like a sniper rifle. Hmm, the orange one doesn't seem happy about it. Anyway, we better get closer so I can take a clear shot. You ready Tucker? Tucker?"

Church turned to face Tucker, but there was no Tucker there to face. Upon hearing that a sniper rifle had been delivered he'd rushed down the cliff to get it. He quickly arrived at the Red Team and tried wrestling the sniper rifle from them, but was beaten down for his efforts. Church watched the entire time. "Tucker, captured?" he whispered. He soon realized the full consequences of this. "Wahoo!"

"…friends always help each other out, man this is corny…"

Church realized that that didn't matter. Tucker wasn't exactly a friend.

Ok, that's that chapter done. Sorry for the wait, but it's the longest one so far. I'd tell you the name of the next chapter but I feel that it would give away some of the plot. Our (as of yet) unnamed tan soldier will play a role, my first OC. Whether this will be a one-shot or sustained appearance is as of yet undecided. I don't want a Gary Stu.

Also, I've made plans to include another character from the RVB series. Feel free to theorize all you want, I'll laugh at your ignorance (unless you get it right).

Finally, I feel that this chapter is heavily inclined towards the Blue Team. I want to balance both teams' appearances but since the Blue Team is my favourite I fear that I may favor them too much. If you feel that this is happening for either team, please let me know.