Red vs. Blue: Beginnings
Chapter 8: OMFG!
Remember that thing about the chapter title? Well, I actually changed it, given the fact that I decided to turn one chapter into two, hence this title that gives nothing away. Anyway, sorry about that.
Red Base
"Alright yeh blue scumbag," growled Sarge to the newly captured Tucker. "Who are you and who do yeh work for?"
Tucker raised an eyebrow. "Er, is that a trick question?"
"Don't sass me yeh blue piece of-..."
"Sir, calm down," exclaimed Griff. "The blue's got a point." Sarge glared at him, promptly acompanied by Simmons. "No guys, I'm not sympathising with the enemy," sighed Griff, not wanting a repeat of past events.
"Then what the hell are you doing?" asked Simmons. "Can't you see that Sarge is in the middle of interogating an enemy soldier?"
"He's definetly in the middle of something," responded Griff. "I'm not so sure that it's interogation." Sarge seemed to be fingering his shotgun so Griff quickly continued; "I mean, isn't it obvious who he is and who he works for? A blue working for blue command. Doesn't his armour make it obvious?"
Simmons went to say something but stopped before words came out, seeing the logic in Griff's argument. "Yeah, Griff's got a point sir." Sarge seemed to consider it. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he said to Simmons eventually. "Thanks for pointing that out Simmons."
"Anytime sir."
"What the hell?" exclaimed Griff. "I'm the one who pointed that out!" Sarge glared at him; "Don't try to hog the credit son, especially when it belongs to my favourite private here."
"But, but..." Griff stamered. He then remembered that Sarge had a hulking shotgun and Simmons was willing to do anything that Sarge told him, even if it meant using his pistol against Griff. "Fine," he said eventually. "You guys do what you want."
"Thank you," responded Simmons curtly. He turned to face Tucker. "So er, um...Sarge, how do you interogate someone?"
"Actually, I'm not so sure myself. I tend to kill blues rather than interogate them."
"Really?" asked Griff. "What's your body count?"
"Shut your hole dirt bag, that's irrelevant!"
There was some silence after this. "So, if you can't interogate me, can I go then?" asked Tucker eventually.
"Hell no!" exclaimed Sarge. "You're a blue, you need to be submitted to the humility and torture that's fitting of your kind!"
"Isn't that against rules of war?" asked Griff.
"Not when it comes to a blue," pointed out Simmons. Sarge beamed at him. "Kisass," Griff muttered.
There was some more silence. "Er, maybe I could take him off to be interogated," came a voice. All eyes turned to the tan soldier. "I've got a delivery to Red Command anyway."
Griff noticed that the voice seemed kind of forced, like the soldier was trying to hide the true sound of his voice. Sarge and Simmons seemed to be oblivious though. "Well, I hate to miss out on tormenting a blue, but I guess that's a good plan of action," said Sarge.
"Oh I agree sir," piped up Simmons.
The tan soldier gave a salute and started escorting Tucker into the pelican. Suddenly a shot rang out. "What the hell?" exclaimed Griff.
"The damn blues are shooting at us!" exclaimed Sarge. "Simmons, find their sniper. Tan guy, get the blue out of here. Griff, run around in the open so the sniper wastes time trying to hit you." While Griff protested against the supposed insanity of his role in the plan, Tucker looked up to the ridge where Church had been in awe. Was Church actually trying to save him?
Blue Team
"God damit, why can't I ever hit anything?" exclaimed Church. "Now Tucker's going to give them information." Understandably, he was very unhappy that he'd missed Tucker-he could have preserved blue secrets and eliminated a pimp at the same time. Church looked down the scope again. "What the hell?" he wondered. "Why's that orange guy just running around?" The pelican started to take off but Church didn't really care so much. "Well, Tucker's gone one way or another," he thought. "May as well celebrate." He turned around to head back to Blue Base and found himself standing face to face with Captain Flowers. "Ah Church, there you are," he said, sounding relieved. "I was wondering where you two had got to, I was afraid that you may have got lost, or captured by the Reds."
"Uh, yeah," said Church slowly. "Well, we're ok, so we may as well head back." Church started to head off but Flowers stopped him. "What do you mean by 'we' son?" he asked. "Where's Private Tucker?" Church sighed and began to explain. Nothing was going right.
Red Base
"Guys, I think it's pretty obvious that that sniper isn't intent on killing me," called out Griff between breaths as he ran around in circles.
"Yeah, unfortunatly you're right," sighed Sarge. "Those damn blues! They have no sense of priority!"
"Er sir, why would Griff be high on their list of priorities, considering that he's our number four soldier?"
"Excellent point Simmons," beamed Sarge. "You're getting better every day."
"Thank you sir."
Griff had run up to them, not wanting to walk in case the sniper was still around and he didn't know what jogging was. "So er, what now?" he asked.
"You have to find the sniper, dumbass," pointed out Simmons.
"Wait, wasn't that your job?" asked Griff.
"Griff, don't be stupid!" exclaimed Sarge (forgetting that Griff was already stupid). "I'd never entrust Simmons with such a menial task."
"But didn't you-..."
"Griff..."
"Fine," sighed Griff. "I'll do it." He hoisted up his sniper rifle and began to peer through the scope. It didn't last long as Sarge almost imidiatly hit him over the head. "Ow, what the hell was that for?" he exclaimed.
"What do you think lardbelly? You're using the sniper rifle completely the wrong way!"
"Er, sir?"
"Griff, don't you know anything about sniper rifles?" asked Simmons. "They're not for long range shooting. They're for shooting the enemy really close up so you can see the fear in his eyes. Isn't that right Sarge?"
"Dern right," he grinned. "Is there anything you can't recite flawlessly?"
"Course not, especially if it comes from you."
"Man guys, how do you get these pep talks in all the time?" asked Griff.
"We have our ways," said Sarge simply. "Now get out there, find the sniper and come back with his head on a pike!" Sighing, Griff obayed. Sarge and Simmons watched him go.
"Do you think he's up to the task?" asked Simmons eventually.
"Hopefully not."
Blue Team
"So Tucker, is he ok?" asked Flowers anxiously.
"Oh yeah, he's fine," assured Church, hoping that that was a lie. "But he was taken off in the Pelican, he's beyond our reach."
"That so dude?"
"Vic, shut up!"
Flowers looked at Church sympatheticly; "Is Vic giving you a hard time?"
"What do you think?"
"Er, no? He's a good guy, a true friend, a valued-..."
"Capy, we don't have time for this," interupted Church exasperatedly. "We have to rescue Tucker." The impact of the words hit him quickly. "Whoah, did I actually say that?" he wondered.
Flowers nodded knowingly. "Yes, you're right, there's no time to waste, we have to give pursuit."
"How? There's no way out of this canyon."
Flowers grinned. "As far as you know. Anyway, we better get back to Blue Base quickly. Can I count on your assistance?"
Church considered his options. He was the best damn soldier in the canyon (at least in his mind) so if he did help Flowers, Tucker would almost ceartinly be rescued. On the other hand, if he did go with Flowers, he could be somewhere outside this dirthole. "Alright sir, I'll help, but on one condition."
"What's that?"
"That you make Vic shut the hell up!"
Red Team
Griff came to a stop. He could see the two blues running off, probably back to their own base. "Ugh, there's no way I'm running that far," he thought.
"Griff? Why the hell have you stopped? Why aren't you dead yet? Er, I mean, why haven't you eliminated the sniper?" Griff turned around to see Sarge and Simmons running up to him. "Real subtle sir," he muttered.
"Put a cork in it," growled Sarge. "Why aren't you chasing those blue bastards?"
Griff lay down on the ground. "Ohhhh," he groaned. "I don't feel too good. I think the stuff I had back at Red Base is wanting to come out."
"I knew this would happen," sighed Simmons. "That's what you get for being a lazy blob of lard."
"Shut up cockbite."
Sarge looked at Griff skepticly. "Alright, we'll go on," he said. "But before we go, there's something that I need to tell you."
"What?"
"That yur the most lazy, dispicable and useless soldier I've ever known!"
"Cool. Does that mean you're not going to ask me to do stuff?" Growling like a wolf, Sarge continued the chase against the Blues with Simmons behind him. "You actually believed him?" asked Simmons.
"Not really," sighed Sarge. "But in the vain hope that he wasn't faking, I left him there. He should be an easy target for that sniper"
"Excellent plan sir!"
Griff lay low until his comrades were well out of sight. Satisfied that the coast was clear, he quickly rose and started running back to Red Base, eager to catch the last ten minutes of the show he'd been watching; 'The Wonders of Pornography.' They always left the best stuff for the last ten minutes of air time.
Blue Base
Flowers and Church had come to a patch of dirt near their base, a feature that was quite abundent in the canyon. "Here we are," said Flowers. "Prepare to be amazed."
Church simply nodded. He was more preocupied of relishing the absence of Vic's voice. Flowers flicked the switch of a remote and the patch of dirt started shifting away, along with the sound of a platform rising. Eventually, in all its glory rose...a pelican dropship (whopty fucking doo).
"Here we are," beamed Flowers. "Our ride out of here. Ready to hop in Church? Er, Church?" Flowers turned to face Church who was glaring at him. "What's wrong?"
"We had a dropship this entire time that I could have used to get out of this craphole and you didn't tell me? Oh my fucking god!"
Red Team
"Sir, look!" exclaimed Simmons. "It looks like the Blues are abandoning their base."
"Quite right," exclaimed Sarge, looking at the departing dropship. "Those blue bellied cowards have finally realised the futility of resistance! Victory at Blood Gulch is ours!"
"Does that mean we can take leave or something?" asked Simmons. He wasn't as lazy as Griff, but some R&R would have been nice (minus Griff of course).
"Hell no!" exclaimed Sarge. "We've got to give chase, leave no Blue left alive! You with me?"
"Of course sir!" responded Simmons. "I always will be," he thought to himself.
Red Base
"Oh yeah, that's it baby..."
Simmons could hear the sound of the tv as he walked through Red Base to find Griff-not because they needed him, but because making him come on the pursuit mission would make him miserable. He started walking into the lounge room. "Hey Griff we need to-Oh my fucking god!" (in response to what was being displayed).
FedEx Delivery Ship
Tucker was nervous. Understandable, since he was on his way to Red Command, for interogation, torture and perhaps even execution. "It's not fair," he whimpered. "I don't want to die with some leftover virginity."
"You ok?" asked a voice. Tucker turned to see the tan soldier walking towards him. "Shouldn't you be piloting this thing?" he asked.
"Nah, it's on autopilot."
"Oh," replied Tucker. The tan one came over. "You seem nervous."
"Of course I'm nervous!" exclaimed Tucker. "I'm on my way to be interogated! They'll think I'm refusing to talk when I've actually got no secrets!"
The tan one sighed. "Secrets are a terrible thing." Tucker noticed that the tan one seemed to be peering intently at him. "Maybe I should stop hiding mine." With that, the tan one took off his helmet. "Oh my fucking god..." breathed Tucker.
Blue Pelican
"Ok, I've locked onto the target," said Flowers, who was piloting the ship. "Still, we'll need some help."
"But how would we get it?" asked Church. "There aren't any Blue forces near here."
"True, but I did a scan of the star system. There's a bounty hunter cruising through. He should be willing to help."
"Really, who is he?"
"I don't know his actual name, but I believe you know him by his codename-Wyoming."
Ah, don't you love cliffhangers? (Well, I hope that I've set up a cliffhanger). Anyway, look forward to next chapter-Saving Private Tucker.