Red vs. Blue: Beginnings
Chapter 9: The Perks of Punctuality
Red Base
Simmons was still in shock due to the horror that he'd seen Griff watching on TV after having to bring him outside. How could Griff watch that stuff without going insane? Still, maybe it was that kind of stuff that made him such a lazy idiot. Of course, food and cancer sticks probably had something to do with that too. Trying to ignore the stomach turning images, Simmons focused on Sarge, who'd promised them a surprise. Simmons hoped that it was something that would, at the least, make Griff miserable.
The ground opened up, the sound of a rising platform could be heard and up rose, in all its glory...a pelican (this is getting old isn't it?). "Gentlemen," beamed Sarge. "This, is the greatest type of drop ship carrier that Red Command has. It-..."
"Sarge, isn't it the only type of drop ship that Red Command has?" asked Griff.
"Course not," snapped Simmons. "Griff, don't you know anything about military vehicles?"
"Alright then kisass," snarled Griff. "Then what other types of drop ships do you know?"
"Well, I don't," admitted Simmons awkwardly. "Still, you claimed that it was the only type of drop ship and you're always wrong, so therefore there have to be other types of drop ships."
"Excellent burn Simmons," beamed Sarge.
"Thank you sir."
"Ok," said Griff. "That's hardly what I'd call a burn. As calls go, that was weak and pathetic."
"Stuff a sock in it," growled Sarge. "Don't convey your own characteristics onto Simmons here."
"Yeah, that's unwarranted," sniffed Simmons (faking of course).
"Oh that's right, you guys know all about unwarranted punishment," sighed Griff. "You know, some day we're going to have a discussion as to why you guys hate me."
"Shut up dirt bag, we're not going to waste time on stuff like that."
"But I think-..."
"Griff, I thought we'd established by now that no-one cares what you think," sighed Simmons.
Griff sighed. "Fine, you guys do what you want."
"Now that's the kind of attitude that I like to hear!" exclaimed the sergeant.
"Er sir, didn't you tell me that you despise those kind of people?" asked a puzzled Simmons.
"Usually," admitted Sarge. "But in Griff's case it's partly a blessing. If he doesn't care what we do, we can do whatever we want, make him as miserable as we want."
"Wow sir, that's brilliant!" Simmons started imagining the possibilities.
"Sounds like bullshit to me," muttered Griff.
Sarge ignored him. "Anyway, now that we've got those explanations out of the way, we can finally get back to the point of this briefing."
"Wait a minute, there's actually a point to this?" exclaimed Griff.
"Of course!" snapped Sarge. "We must go over the pelican in absolute detail."
"Why?"
"So we can dazzle the Blues with our superior knowledge," sighed Simmons.
"Can't we already dazzle them as we are?" asked Griff. "I mean, we could show them a collection of oddities; the world's largest sycophant, the Red armies's most violent and erratic sergeant-..."
"And let's not forget the world's most lazy and disgusting soldier." completed Simmons.
"That too," sighed Griff. "Not that I care of course, the interpretation of what's lazy and disgusting can-..."
"Griff, quit yakking!" yelled Sarge. We don't have time for flawed philosophy!"
Griff stared; "We have time for a lecture on the pelican, yet we don't have time for a valid line of thought?"
"Pretty much," agreed Simmons. "It's important that we know all the tech stuff about our vehicle of choice without wasting any time on the trivial things. After all, I'm sure that the Blues aren't wasting any time."
Blue Drop ship
"Er, capy?" asked Church.
"Yes son, is something wrong?"
The craft was just hanging around in the depths of space, Flowers and Church waiting for Wyoming to show up. Church wasn't sure exactly how he felt about the current situation-every second wasted placed Tucker further away from them and closer to a lifetime of torture at the hands of the vicious Reds (or was it barbaric? Church didn't care enough to pay attention to propaganda that was handed out in training).
What was the strange though was that he still wasn't sure if Tucker's absence was a good or bad thing. Sure, if Tucker was gone he'd be left alone with Flowers (a shudder accompanied that thought), but no doubt Vic, in an effort to make Church miserable, would call in reinforcements. However, it was strange but… Church was beginning to think that if Tucker was gone, he'd actually…miss him.
"Church, you haven't answered my question." Flowers was looking at Church with fatherly concern. Good thing his reflective visor prevented Church from seeing that. Otherwise, he would have probably refuted the notion that in space that no-one can hear you scream.
"Oh, er yeah. I was wondering; why are we here instead of chasing after Tucker?"
"Patience Church, patience," soothed Flowers. "We're waiting for Godot, remember?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, right, right," chuckled Flowers. "I'm all mixed up. I actually have theatre tickets for a production of the play."
"Really?" asked Church, not really interested.
"Oh yes," exclaimed Flowers enthusiastically. "It's an interesting production, where it's set in the dim past of the 23rd century. Would-…"
"Capy, we can wait for Godot as long as we like, but we can't spend much longer waiting for Wyoming," Church exclaimed, exasperated.
"Church, don't worry, he'll be here soon," reassured Flowers. "The British are very punctual after all."
Church simply snorted at this. One would have thought that seven centuries of globalization would have erased the concept of ethnic minorities. But oh no, the Poms just had to hang in there. Wyoming was an irritating testament to this.
Also, it wasn't just Tucker that was the issue here. Wyoming was not only an exceptionally irritating individual who never let up on any chance to make him look bad in front of his peers, but towards the end of training, he'd began to suspect that he'd had the hots for Tex.
Flowers suddenly snapped his fingers; "Alright, we can't wait any longer," he exclaimed. "We have to set after Tucker-without Wyoming." He headed towards the cockpit.
"Finally," thought Church. "Not only to we stop wasting time waiting for an arrogant prick (like he wasn't one himself), but we can set after Tucker soon-…"
"Oh wait, I've got a ship on radar," exclaimed Flowers. "Ah, jolly good. Wyoming has finally decided to show up. Guess the brits are punctual after all.
With those simple words, Church began to wish that he'd managed to commit suicide those few days back.
XXX
Ok, a short chapter, but I felt I'd gone too long without updating. Also, sorry about the title change. I'll stop announcing them.
The reason for this shortness is that this chapter serves as an author's note. I'm actually working up to the conclusion of this series. I've been working on too many stories simultaneously, so I'm working methodically to finish them. This will be the first example.
However, that won't be the end. Once I get into the position of having a primary and secondary work, I'll continue in a sequel series. The main purpose of the Prequel Chronicles is to tie in Red vs. Blue with Halo, as to the nature of the war. From watching the videos, I'm going by the belief that the Red vs. Blue war started between Halo 1 and 2, but the actual series starts after Halo 3.
So yeah, the end is nigh.
BTW, I know that Church is slightly out of character with regards to Tucker, but I think that many of you will agree that although they give slack, both Griff and Simmons and Church and Tucker are actually good friends, given their various actions and attititudes throughout the series. Don't worry though, there's no gay stuff.
Finally, no offence is meant to any Brits out there. Only Wyoming.