Red vs. Blue: Beginnings
Chapter Eleven: Wyoming: Cockbite of the First Class
Red Pelican
It might have seemed humorous in a way, to see three soldiers pointing their weapons at what was basically a hovering orb, especially so since the only real weapon was Sarge's shotgun and although Griff's sniper rifle was nearby, the chances of him actually hitting anything with it at this point in time were slim, probably due to a combination of incompetence and laziness.
Simmons however, knew that the situation was deadly serious. All info on the Halos, including the recent events at Installation 04 was strictly classified. Still, Simmons was a competent techie and it didn't take him long to hack into the ONI database, something that he'd done after Sarge hinted at the events after arriving at the gulch. He had the low-down.
Which made the situation all the more disturbing. Apparently there were seven halos, with one of them being destroyed. Still, the existence of just one was deadly enough. If there was an eighth installation, their work had become much more difficult. It also raised the question of why Guilty Spark had said that there were only seven, at least assuming that Master Chief's communication logs were accurate.
"Are you deaf, reclaimers? Do I need to repeat myself again?" The monitor in front of them hovered quizzically.
"No, we heard you the first time," snarled Sarge. "I just want to know what the hell yur doing on ma ship!"
"Your ship?" asked Griff. "I thought you established that this ship was the sole property of Red Command."
"Quiet turdbelly, before I toss you into space."
"Ahem, you asked me why I'm here," pointed out the Monitor. "Do you not want me to explain?"
"Yeah, go ahead," said Simmons, tightening the grip on his pistol.
"Thank you. As I said before, recent events at Installation 05 have prompted swift action. Not only have the Flood been released but its firing system was interrupted."
"Well that's good," snarled Simmons.
"You're becoming more like Sarge with each passing day," sighed Griff, shuddering at the thought of Simmons going beyond the role of official kisass.
The monitor continued; "Not only have events got out of hand at Installation 05 but Earth is vulnerable too. It simply must not fall into enemy hands."
"What's happened? Have the Blues attacked?" exclaimed Sarge.
"No, far worse," chuckled the monitor. "An entity known as the Covenant is poised to invade. My databanks on them are limited but it appears that their interpretation of Forerunner artefacts is…misleaded."
There was some silence after this, although Sarge could be heard muttering something about how the Blues were the larger threat. "So why do you need us? And where are you from?" asked Simmons eventually.
"Your forces are preparing to defend Earth," said the monitor. "Your craft is woefully inadequate to get you to Red Command, but I can help. My teleportation grid extends all across this sector."
Sarge paused in thought before responding; "I'd rather fight Blues than aliens," he said slowly. "But if Red Command needs us, then I won't turn down the call!"
"I take it that this includes me too?" asked Griff. He didn't like where this was going. It reeked of effort.
"Of course, dirt bag! This ordeal sounds dangerous and the chances of you dying are consequently high! Which is a good thing, of course…"
The monitor stared at Sarge; "I can't comprehend your logic, but I'm glad to see that you're willing to be of assistance. I shall begin teleportation of you and your vessel." With that, the monitor began the process. Sarge and Griff disappeared instantly, but Simmons and the pelican lingered.
"Why do you resist reclaimer?" asked the monitor, seeing that Simmons was seemingly trying to prevent himself from being teleported
"You…you haven't told us everything," gritted Simmons, struggling to keep within reality. "How is there an eighth halo? Why did Guilty Spark say that there was only seven?"
The monitor made no reply. Simmons would have continued, but he could fight off the teleportation no longer. He and the pelican were teleported, leaving the monitor in the void of space. It let out a small chuckle;
"Now who said that I was guarding a halo?"
Blue Pelican
"Wyoming, we're within range of the target."
"Ah, jolly good."
Church sighed. Partly out of frustration at Wyoming's manner of speech. However, it was also one of relief. If they were within range of the target (Tucker), that meant that Wyoming would be heading off soon. There was also the fact that Tucker would be rescued, but Church tried to shove that thought to the back of his mind.
"Ah, god damit!" Flowers's voice came from the cockpit, snapping Church out of his thoughts.
"Hey, that's my line," muttered Church as he headed up to check what was wrong.
Wyoming seemed to have overheard him; "Don't get any ideas private, leave copyright to the professionals."
"Which obviously doesn't include you arsefucker."
"Stop it both of you!" shouted Flowers, taking on his 'father role.' "The enemy pelican has resumed its course to Red Command, which means that not only can we gain no further ground on it, but it means that we stand at greater risk of running out of fuel."
"Oh really? How unfortunate," said Wyoming, not sounding like he meant it at all.
"Can it cockbite!" shouted Church, not sure why he was so angry. "Capy, is there any way that we'll be able to get within range of that craft?"
Flowers paused in thought but soon stopped. "Actually, there is a way. Maybe its time that we gave that cannon a try."
Some Time Later…
It was official. Flowers was insane. Yet at this turn of events, Church barely noticed. He was listening to Wyoming's protests in glee.
"I do say chaps, this is insane, absolutely insane!" exclaimed Wyoming.
"Shut up you prick, or we'll shoot you into Ireland instead," said Church. The Brit, not liking the alternative, withdrew fully into the cannon.
"Where'd you get this thing capy?" asked Church.
"Tucker and I recovered it from the Red Base at Blood Gulch," explained Flowers. "The Red sergeant had just received the profile of one of the two soldiers that arrived recently. For some reason, he built this device and called it the Griff Cannon."
"Cool." Church looked over the cannon. It looked like a giant bazooka, big enough to fit a man inside. Currently, that 'man' was Wyoming.
"Alright, we're ready to begin our firing sequence," said Flowers, turning the ship around so its hatch would face the direction of the Red pelican. The strapped down banshee and cannon made things a tight fit, but Flowers and Church managed to hold on to something, lest the vacuum of space suck them out.
"Everything's ready," said Flowers to Wyoming. "You alright with this?"
"Just do it you repulsive fellow," came the Brit's response.
"Very well." Flowers began the process of opening up the pelican's rear hatch, despite the warnings that they were in space.
"Just one question," said Flowers. "What if you miss?"
"Wyoming gritted his teeth before answering; "I won't." With that, the hatch was opened up and Wyoming fired into the depths of space.
"Alright, closing hatch," said Flowers, doing just that. He noticed that Church was staring at Wyoming's banshee. "Something wrong son?" he asked.
"Sir, is it just me, or is that banshee acting weird?" asked Church. Flowers noticed that he had a point. It was flashing its lights in a peculiar way. Suddenly, the sound of a recording could be heard.
"Ah, hello old chaps. If you're receiving this message, I can only assume that I've departed to rescue your little friend Tucker."
Church cursed under his breath. He was hoping that he wasn't going to have to hear Wyoming's voice in the near future.
The recording continued; "However, I'm afraid that you won't be able to enjoy a reunion. Red Command had offered me a contract to eliminate the Blue forces stationed in Blood Gulch. I therefore felt; why not collect two pay checks? Anyway, cheerio."
"Backstabbing dicksucker," muttered Church as the sound of someone changing a tape could be heard. A new recording started, this time with the sound of a cool, feminine voice;
"This banshee will self-destruct in five seconds. See you in hell cockbites."
Church faced the ground; "Oh, son of a-…"
There's no sound in space. But the lightshow more than made up for it.
XXX
So now we all know what a cockbite Wyoming is. Especially since he killed off York in Out of Mind. Poor guy. He and Dee had quite a bit of potential.
The Griff Cannon was partly to tie out a mistake in chapter 2. None of you pointed it out, but Sarge already knows who Griff is but not Simmons. Instead of changing it, I decided to make it part of the story.
Speaking of which, this story is coming to a close. About two or three chapters before the finale.