Vic: Okay amigos, in this chapter of The Diclonius of Blood Gulch we will be looking at the time of-

Caboose: Friendship.

Vic:...

Caboose:...

Vic: Dude, how did you get in here?

Caboose: I just used the door. It was right beside the broken window near the mens rest room.

Vic: Door?

Kaede: Yeah, he's telling me he finds these doors to other worlds like change on the street. Never believed him until now.

Vic: You're here too?

Kaede: It was a slow day, so I was hanging out with him. Now, I don't regret it.

Vic: I'm not even angry. Colour me impressed.

Caboose: Thank you.

Vic: So... do have a story to tell or something?

Kaede: Hmm... nothing comes to mind. What about you Caboose?

Caboose: Yes. Kaede, we practiced for this.

Kaede: We did? Or are you confusing me for Nyu again?

Caboose: No... I don't think.

Kaede: That does not inspire confidence.

Caboose: Its the thing... with the crayons...

Kaede: OH! That! I almost forgot about that.

Vic: Uh, dude? Dudette? You two ready?

Caboose: Yeah.

The scene shifts to a pure white.

Caboose: Hello. I'm Caboose.

A cute little drawing of Caboose appears.

Kaede: And I'm Kaede.

A cute drawing of Kaede appears alongside Caboose.

Kaede: For a really long time, we lived in a canyon.

A drawing of Blood gulch appears behind our two adorable characters. Titled, Blood Vally.

Caboose: It was pretty great. We had friends.

Drawings of cute versions of the blue team appear on the side of Caboose.

Kaede: We also have friends from another world too.

Drawings of the Maple Inn residents appear beside Kaede.

Caboose: Yeah, they're pretty fun too. They all liked me.

All of them quickly scamper away from Caboose.

Caboose: Now I know what you are thinking but, not because I am psychic.

Kaede: But you'd be surprised how often it feels like it...

Caboose: You are thinking, Caboose and Kaede, how did you two get so good at making friends.

Kaede: Its quite simple really.

Caboose: And we're gonna teach you how.

The scene is erased.

Caboose: First, you are gonna have to know what makes good friend material. Cotten is peoples most common material mainly because it is soft.

Cute Caboose and Cute Kaede flop unto a pile of Cotten with a squeak.

Kaede: But in my personal experience, it is very flammable.

The girl Kaede befriended in the orphanage walks up to the Cotten and lights it on fire, burning the two people squished into it.

Caboose: Other friend materials to avoid are... cactus!

Cute Caboose runs into a cactus.

Caboose: Snow.

Caboose and Nyu high five beside a snowman.

Kaede: The water from melted snow.

Caboose and Nyu are both crying anime waterfalls as they kneel before their melted friend.

Caboose: Spiders.

Caboose is attacked by a horde of spiders.

Kaede: Scientists.

Kaede struggles to take a helmet off of herself while a cute drawing of Kurama watches.

Caboose: Rock.

Kaede: Defiantly rock.

Both Caboose and Kaede run away from Tuckers rock.

Caboose: Imaginary.

Caboose chases nothing.

Kaede: And finally, the demon inside your head telling you to kill everyone.

A cute drawing of DNA voice whispers in Kaede's ear.

Caboose: Yes, I've also had that one. And from personal experience, I like metal.

A cute drawing of Shelia appears as Caboose sticks his head outside her cockpit (try saying that to someone without context.).

Caboose: I like it because it is durable.

A cute drawing of the reds in the warthog appear and shot at Shelia, only to do no damage.

Caboose: Its really strong.

Shelia blasts the tank, leaving it wreaked and on fire.

Caboose: And even if its cold at first, it eventually warms up.

Caboose gets out of Shelia as a little heart appears above him.

Kaede: Nice, but personally, I have two favourite friendship materials. First is puppy.

Kaede appears beside a cute drawing of Wanta.

Kaede: I like puppy's because they are always loyal and such good fun.

Wanta circles around Kaede before stopping with a little heart appearing above him.

Kaede: the second is music. Many people like music and when you like the same music as someone else, chances are you will be friends.

Kaede, Caboose, along with a cute drawing of Kouta and Mayu sit by Kouta's music box as music notes come out of it.

Kaede: Unfortunately, sometimes people don't have good taste.

Shift over to show A cute drawing of Donut along with a cute drawing of Yuka covering their ears.

Caboose: But now, you have to figure out what kinda friends you wanna make.

Caboose walks in between the two, and pulls out the Epsilon unit.

Caboose: Someone who listens to you when you talk.

Scene shifts to Caboose sitting on a chair and reading a story to the Epsilon unit. A cute drawing of Nana notices and joins in on story time. The scene is then erased

Kaede: Its also good to get friends to help you with whatever's bothering you.

Kaede cries alone until Tucker and Kouta show up and each place a hand on her should as a sign of comfort.

Caboose: It is also nice to get a friend to push you out of your comfort zone.

Caboose waves over to a cute drawing of Mariko only for her to slice his head off. Once his head hits the ground, a crab comes out.

Kaede: And can help them by pushing the too.

Scene shifts to show Nyu groping Yuka's breasts.

Caboose: Just remember, being a friend is sometimes hard work.

Kaede: You might have different ideas of how to do things.

Shift to show Tucker at a birthday party with a cute drawing of Sarge aiming a shot gun at him and Kaede holding a present to him. The two notice what they're doing and begin to argue.

Caboose: They might have trouble understanding you.

Caboose is standing in front of Mayu and Nana, both have question marks over their heads.

Kaede: You might even have issues sharing.

Shifts to show Kaede and Yuka playing tug of war with Kouta as the rope.

Caboose: Your friends might even have trouble getting along with your other friends.

Shows Nana and a cute drawing of Simmons staring at each other with angry expressions on their faces. (well, we assume Simmons is angry under that helmet.

Caboose: They may even get you involved when you know you don't want to.

Both Simmons and Nana turn to Caboose to choose between who's right in their argument.

Caboose: It may make things uncomfortable. But when your friends do get along with your other friends, that's pretty cool.

Shows Freckles looking down on Kouta who has a nervous smile on his face as he sweat drops.

Kaede: And they'll help you out when you need it.

Kaede is shown, shivering. Caboose walks up behind her and puts a blanket on her.

Caboose: Yes! But sometimes, you'll have to there for them during a hard time, too.

Shift over to Nana, crying my a smoking crater. Kaede and Caboose walk up to her, put the blanket on her before sitting beside her.

Kaede: Thats just what friends do for each other.

Caboose: And there is nothing better than having a best friend!

Previous scene erases to just Kaede and Caboose. Kouta and Church appear on each side of them.

Kaede: Best friends are the best because they're the ones you can always count on.

Caboose: You can spend all your time with them, tell them secrets, talk about how Tucker is stupid.

Kaede: Yeah... but sometimes, you may lose a friend.

Caboose: Maybe even your best friend.

Kaede: Maybe you fight.

Caboose: Maybe you grow apart.

Kaede: Maybe you murder their family in front of their eyes.

Caboose: Or they're destroyed in an electromagnetic pulse.

Kouta's facial expression is changed to that of pure terror as he has a flashback. Church meanwhile, splits into multiple other fragments before shattering. The scene then gets darker as both Kaede and Caboose are left by their lonesome.

Caboose: Its just a sad... sad... sad... saaaaaaaaaaaaad part of life.

Both Caboose and Kaede flop unto the floor with a deflated sound effect.

Kaede: But the thing about friends... well... the one thing people seem to forget anyway...

A cute drawing of Aiko and Andersmith walk up behind Kaede and Caboose and pull them up.

Caboose: No matter how many friends you lose. You can always make more.

Kaede pulls Akio into a hug while Caboose does the same for Andersmith.

Caboose and Kaede: And thats pretty neat.

The end

Hope you liked this none cannon special. I've had it in my head for awhile and it was fun to write, so let me know if you want more of these sprinkled into this fic. And yes they won't ALL just be based on season 14 episodes.