Improper Guardian

Chapter Sixteen

By: Brenli

To whoever loved me:

I have never considered myself to be a strong person; therefore, I cannot say that I am surprised by my decision. Nor have I gone around trying to make a show of being a strong person, so I hope that my decision does not come across as devastating…

"Nema!" The Fire Angel landed on the hood of the demolished car, his hands cradling the pale, still face. The blood pooled at the back of her head and ran in small rivers through the cracks of the beaten metal. It seeped into the knees of his pants, but he did not care, as he stared deep into the blood-red eyes that stared at nothing.

I will not become a sour, melodramatic girl, and shout to you, "GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD," for I know that this world is not cruel, but rather lost and confused, and it hates only what it cannot understand. The world fails to understand me, so this hatred that I am subjected to is something to be expected. But it cannot be expected that I would want to bear such a burden…

"Michael, move, move! I can fix this!" Raphael said hurriedly as he scrambled up next to the Fire Angel, and Michael quickly moved away to let Raphael perform his Holy Gift. "Come on… Come on, Nema… This won't work if you don't want it… Come on… Michael is waiting for you…"

I know I cannot stop the tears of my parents… All I yearn for is for them to realize that they have done nothing wrong. They made me, a child loved between them, raised in a household based on love. It is merely the fault of society that made this love a strange thing. By all means, if society is not considered, I would be willing to believe that I have received more love from my home than many other people…

The growing fire and the continuing car alarm caught the attentions of people, and soon a crowd formed. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" Michael hissed. "LEAVE US ALONE!"

Please know that as I make my trip into a land of death, I am not going to trouble myself with thoughts of the things the world flung at me while I lived. I will not reflect on the cold stares, cruel whispers (sometimes shouts), the rape, or the abandonment of the one who put my heart in his cage. These are things I have thought about long enough…

Soon the police had gotten involved, and they approached the two Angels who had already hidden their wings. "Please step away from the scene. We are professionals. We will handle the situation." A sheriff said smoothly.

"HANDLE THIS!" The Fire Angel promptly punched the poor sheriff, and a shocked Raphael had to grab Michael and run from pursuing police, leaving Nema lying there, a dead shell of the girl she once was, while firefighters worked to get rid of the flames licking the building, and onlookers fulfilled their subconscious need to see blood.

As I die, I will be thinking of the good things in life. The sky. The way the air smells after it rains. Fabric running through my fingers. The pride that comes with finishing a new skirt, dress, or mini-crown. Harajuku "solo parades," as Mom liked to call them. Mother's cooking. Father's smile and (over)protective tendencies. And the more recent joys in my life… Bickering with Michael, training with Michael (sorry about the broken stuff, Mom and Dad), Harajuku "nighttime brawling" (Michael-SAMAAA knows what those are)… whenever Michael's eyes go blue… and the words, "God, I think I've fallen in love with her."

"Is this the house of Mudou Nemaelle?"

"… Yes…" Setsuna said, tired and distraught from the messy house. He was too tired to realize that the car outside was a cop car, and that the man talking to him was a detective with a policeman behind him.

"Are you a relative?"

"Her father."

The detective put on his most carefully constructed, impersonal yet caring mask, and said, "I regret to inform you that Mudou Nemaelle is –"

"Dead!" Sara suddenly sobbed from the kitchen, and she appeared holding Nema's suicide note, written in red ink, no longer tied with a white bow.

I know that I cannot stop the natural human responses to death. I know you might cry, or react in rage, or you may become so blank, one will question your humanity. No matter how you may take it, I want you to smile for me. Think not of the Angry Girl with scars on her arms. Please remember the happier parts of the albino seamstress, as I have left remembering the better parts of all of you.

"My goodness, Michael-sama, what a show you offered me!" Cheriour replied coolly to the once-again enslaved Archangel before him, from the safety of Angel Crystal-coated glass. "A marvelous way to end an experiment. Is there anything you would like to say, which I may record in the conclusion of the experiment?"

"I hope you rot in Hell." Michael hissed.

Cheriour only smiled. "Is that so? Raphael-sama was right to sneak you back in here, though it was obvious you had run off. As you have returned, I will not release the information regarding his involvement with Barbiel. I considered banning Raphael-sama from any further visits, but I thought you might like to know that instead, I will have all visits heavily monitored. And as for Nemaelle, well, now, you will live on. Love is an unnecessary emotion, and before long, you will have forgotten her and anything to do with that emotion, love."

"… Fuck you."

I have only two requests. Should Park Jinho ever try contacting me, please tell him that I passed on happily, ready to start over from scratch, and that I will miss him. Should Michael ever attempt reaching me, tell him these same things, but add that I love him, and that I forgive his cruelty, even now.

A very broken Setsuna opened the door, the very day after Nema's death. It was the same detective, and though he had only seen him for the second time, now, he was already sick of him. "Yes?"

"Mudou-san… I have some disturbing news…"

Sara's head popped up from behind Setsuna's shoulder, her eyes red and puffy. "What news?"

"We took the body in for examination last night… however, this morning it seems the body has gone missing."

Both parents froze, and the poor detective could only fidget. "… What?"

With all my love in life and in death,

Nema

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Black. Emptiness. And the incessant hot, sharp, stinging pains in the back of her head. Was Nema doomed to feel this for eternity? Was this death? Damn, she wished she hadn't fallen down.

Many hours ago, Nema could have sworn she felt hands pressing against her face. She thought she heard Michael's voice. Then Raphael's. And for a second, she felt a much more gentle warmth… the darkness was becoming lighter, and for a moment, she thought she might be pulling through. And then it was gone and she was stuck in the dark, detached from her body.

At first words come through coherently. "Did you like getting fucked by an Angel? … Some Guardian Angel!" These two quotes in particular were very clear to her. And she could not help but think that there was no way that HE was indeed her Angel. Or he would have been there before… like he was now. But then the words became fuzzy… something about Angels and sex in general… then it was just something about Angels… then it was nothing at all.

For a long time she was in a black void, paralyzed in her death. Nothing to keep her company but the pain in the back of her head. A lonelier existence than life…

"This must be the one…" A voice suddenly joined her. "Doll, have you prepared the body?"

"This is the only one, Uriel-sama… It's not a bit like what her real body must have looked like."

"It is the doll her mother once inhabited. It will do. It is ready?"

"Yes."

"Very well. Thank you."

Then the darkness became lighter, but to her dismay, there was no gentle warmth. Instead there was a flood of pain, as though she was once again landing and dying, landing and dying…! No comfort at all! It all flowed through her, too many faces, too many things to remember! She was an ugly little Rabbit, running from the hunt; there was no sanctuary no matter where she ran!

"MIIIIIIICHAEL!" Her body flew up, lost breath, fell down, and the world went dark again.

"URIEL-SAMA!" The voice of the one she believed as called Doll screamed.

The darkness was becoming lighter again…! And the pain!

"Why is this so difficult? I am causing her pain. This has never happened before…"

"Is it because she was an I-Child?"

"Doubtful. There is something she is clinging on to. She wants to see Michael."

"Where is he?"

"Raphael has told me he is currently under arrest. There is no way I can summon him."

"Then she will remain in pain?"

"Sadly so, Doll. Until she is finally trapped inside."

Trapped inside…? Trapped inside what?

"Almost there…"

Almost WHERE?

"Uriel!" It was Raphael's voice, coming to join her. Would he bring joy or pain to this?

"Raphael…! Don't tell me you…"

She heard something being laid beside her. "Stealing a dead body is hard work, did you know that? But I did it."

"So my services are no longer needed, then?"

"I have another favor to ask of you. But first let's tend to this." Nema could hear Raphael unwrapping a bundle of some kind… a body, apparently.

The voice belonging to Uriel said, "Very well, I shall remove her from this body. It will be a great mercy for her…"

"EWWWWWW! HER BRAINS, URIEL-SAMA! YOU CAN SEE HER BRAINS!" The one called Doll squealed in disgust. Well, if Nema saw brains, too, she probably would have been disgusted as well, and yet, she wanted to see. She struggled to open what she assumed were her new eyes and tried to turn her head, but she felt strong hands take hold of her face and force her to look into the blurred eyes of a tanned man.

"It would be in your best interest if you did not look." His mouth never moved, but the voice came from him. How was he doing that?

Then everything went black again.

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"Oh, she is finally reawakening…"

"Oh, good! Nema! Hey!" Raphael snapped his fingers before her eyes, and very slowly, the ruby eyes slid open and squinted from the light shining down on her. "Nema, how do you feel?"

Nema rolled onto her side, feeling the blanket she had been wrapped up in sticking to the back of her head. The dried blood was acting like glue. "I feel like shit…"

"Well… it's better than feeling like you're dead, I guess…" A sweatdrop dripped down Raphael's brow.

Suddenly Nema flinched and flung herself off what appeared to be a table she had been laid on, pointing at the doll next to her. "What the fuck? It looks like my mom!"

"Whoa, now. Nema, calm down."

The tanned man stepped toward her, and Nema shrank back. He was… HUGE. Taller than Raphael, and she'd always considered him a giant. And here she was… she was even smaller than Michael, and she was standing before them! In spite of his height, he had the countenance of a surprisingly gentle man, and he smiled, his voice flowing from around him, not his mouth. "The doll you see once held your mother's soul, for a short time. It was made in her image. If you had remained in the doll long enough, it would have formed the features you normally possess."

Nema turned her wide red eyes back to the doll. Yes, indeed, it looked like a spitting image of her own mother, though at a much younger age.

"You realize that sheet's still stuck to your head?" A girl said. Nema's eyes got even wider, if that were possible. The girl was dressed as a maid, with long, curly black hair… and she, too, had Sara's face!

"Who the fuck are you?" Nema flinched as the girl pulled the bloodstained sheet away from her.

"I'm Doll. Who… the fuck… are you?" The girl asked, trying out the swear word as though she had never used it before, or as if she'd never heard it used in such a context. "Ewwwww… I'm gonna go wash this…"

Nema watched her leave, and then exploded. "Okay, what the FUCK is going on here? Who was that, who are you, and Raphael, what the Hell just happened?"

"Um… you know, I really need to go… Uriel is better at explaining things, anyway…"

"WHAT?"

"Uriel, you take care of this for me? I'll be right back!"

The tall, dark man called Uriel arched a brow and watched Raphael disappear. "… Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice."

Nema began to shrink back again as this mysterious man who could speak without moving his lips took two steps toward her. He motioned with his hand back to the table.

"Please sit. There is a great deal to talk about."

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"Mika-chan! Mika!" Raphael rushed in.

"Hey, shut up!" Michael yelled, and the Wind Angel froze until Michael motioned for him to come closer.

"Cheriour says he's got this place heavily monitored. You don't wanna come running in here saying the wrong shit." The Fire Angel said in whisper.

"Good warning." Raphael returned in the same quiet tone. "Listen, I have good news regarding Nema."

"… You do?" Michael arched a red brow.

"I do. It was hard, but I took her body."

"You resurrected her?" He tried to keep the joy from being visible to hidden cameras, but it was easily evident in his voice.

"I did, but it was hard. I didn't know if I'd get to the body, so I arranged for Uriel to try putting her soul in a doll. But I stole her body in time. Nema isn't an easy person to revive, Michael, so let's hope she doesn't go falling off buildings again."

"She better not. Where is she now?"

"In Hades, with Uriel."

"He'll let her stay there?"

"I haven't asked yet. I'm sure he will. You and I both know he's a softie." Raphael smiled. "I wanted to let you know it's not all lost. I don't know when you're getting out of here… But when you do, Nema will be waiting."

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"… So my parents are Angels, then?" Nema asked quietly.

"Yes, and therefore you are branded Fallen at your birth and deemed an Improper Child." Uriel said calmly, reaching out indicate one of Nema's large, black wings. They were so large, she was clearly at the peak of her power, a full-grown Angel, though all other physical appearances remained unchanged. "It seems that the trauma from your death was the necessary push. You have gained full access to your power as an Improper Child, which is a lot more powerful than many I-Children themselves believe they can be. Yet I see that your body is still quite young."

"… Is that a problem?"

"No problem, but an interesting thing. When did you begin gaining your power?"

Nema had to sit back and think about that, no longer feeling threatened by this giant Angel before her. "… A few months ago, maybe?"

Uriel's green eyes widened as he stroked his chin. "… I see. Nemaelle, most full-grown Angels do not take the form of adolescents. They become young adults, perhaps around the early 20's, comparing it to human lifespans."

"… What are you trying to say? I'm even freakier than usual?"

"No, not too strange. If you harness your powers at an abnormally quick rate, an Angel's physical growth is halted to help the body deal with the astral power. If you were only given a few months in Assiah's time, then this effect is definitely expected. But you must realize that this means you will never look any older than you do now. You will forever be 16. The only one other than Michael to experience this."

Nema's ears picked up Michael's name. "Michael?"

"Yes, your Guardian Angel… He is the official War Angel by rank and the Elemental Fire Angel by birth… a wild man, I'm sure you know… a very angry person."

Nema couldn't really swallow it, at first. "He is my…"

"He was assigned to be your Guardian Angel on the day of your birth." Uriel said plainly, though a sympathic disappointment echoed in his deep green eyes. "He was against the idea, though I know that fact will hurt you… I am only being honest. Michael is not one to care for other people, you see… ever since the first War between Heaven and Hell, Michael has been a very basic, primal person. Taking only what he wants, for himself. It makes sense, in a way, though it is a cold way to live life… Nema… are you listening to me?"

Nema was wishing that she wasn't listening. She stared at the dried bloodspots on her black skirt, and she nodded silently.

"… He was charged by God to watch over you on Assiah when the Rabbit Hunting began. It is to my understanding that he has begun to change around you…" Uriel tried throwing in that small bit of hope.

"… He wasn't there… for a lot of things, Uriel."

"… Yes. Yes, I realize this." The Earth Angel said quietly, and then Raphael walked in.

"Okay, I'm back." The Wind Angel said, looking pleased with himself. "Nema, I want you to know I talked to Michael. He knows you're okay."

"… Hmm."

Raphael frowned. That simple guttural sound that expressed detachment… What was wrong NOW? "Nema?"

"… I need to get a different set of clothes."

"Oh, yes. Doll," Uriel said to his loyal maid as she reentered, carrying the freshly washed and dried sheet, "Could you please take Nema to your room and let her borrow one of your dresses?"

"Sure." Doll chirped smiling at Nema tucking the clean sheet under her arm, motioning for Nema to follow her. Nema trailed after Doll, looking lost in thought, and Raphael frowned at the pale girl as she left.

"… What did you tell her?" The Wind Angel asked Uriel.

"Everything she wanted to know." Uriel shrugged his shoulders. "She's upset about Michael and his… not quite so perfect treatment of her as a Guardian Angel."

"… What are you talking about?"

"His tendency to neglect her."

Raphael blinked rapidly. "You TOLD her about that?"

"She needed to know, Raphael. She was going to find out at some point. If you ask me, she should have been told a long time ago."

"She would have been ANGRY if that had happened!"

"And she isn't angry now?"

Raphael looked at the Earth Angel crossly, though he knew that the words rang true. "… Michael really does care about her, Uriel. You haven't seen it… it's like if she is involved, he doesn't need to burn something to feel whole."

"You are afraid that by angering her, I've ruined their relationship." Uriel said plainly.

"… I don't know."

"Well, let me ask this question. Does she love him?"

"As crazy as that decision would be, I would say she is."

"Then she will forgive him. Love has a strange way of making forgiveness easier to access."